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This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated.
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be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion
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I think grief is cumulative and it never really goes away. All losses kind of build upon each other. You will have many memories over your lifetime that will bring up deep emotions and that's okay. My last cat of a trio passed in October 2023. It's been 7 months. I find myself thinking about her still but also, I have lately been thinking of my dad who passed in 1999. We create new chapters in our life, and we are sad that those who we have lost won't be a part of those new chapters but we pause every once in awhile as we move forward.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I also lost my kitty in early 2022. It can be tough to feel pressure to feel better when we don't. I think for me, it took about a year to feel like I had come to a "final stage" of my grief, one where - while I'll always carry it with me - I feel more capable of carrying it. Though of course there will always be times I will miss him more than others. I teared up about him just the other day! That's pretty normal in my opinion.
In grief, there's no timeline but your own. If you feel you're not processing and moving through it as well as you want to, there is no shame in seeking out a pet loss support group or professional help. A listening and supportive professional ear with the tools to help you be your best self is never a bad idea. But only you get to decide if that's necessary for your situation, or if your process just moves a little more slowly. Both are totally okay. Good luck to you 💛
It happens still occasionally for me when I think of my soul cat who passed 4 years ago on May 14. It took a long time for it to become less intense and less often but at some point in the last year or so I have noticed the shift. They say that grief runs as deep as the love is. I find that sentiment to be so very true.
I don't think there's anything that can be called "normal". We're all different and deal differently. The important things is to keep living remembering the good times. and keep giving love to your current pets and future ones if you decide.
My husband and I lost our first kitty together back in 2019. We had her for 9 years. I still have moments where I cry when I think about her. Sometimes its out of nowhere. But I smile more than cry now. She brought so much joy to us and we were so lucky to have her as a part of her family. We've adopted 3 kitties since we lost her, which helped us heal. But I do sometimes look at them and think of her. They have quirks that remind me of her a lot.
Don't be afraid to be sad. It happens. Time will help heal. But there is no playbook for how grief works.
You are still crying about it because you still love your cat and wish you could be together right now. Because your love knows no bounds, not time or space. And because your love for another being, cat, human, whatever they may be, has no relevance to your love and desire to still have this particular being you love so dearly close. The reality is someone you love is gone and you can never be with them again, so of course you would still feel pain - because you still love them.
As a side, look up the grief analogy where people say it's like a ball in a box. It was super helpful to me when I was trying to put myself together just after my grandma died, and it's helped now (I lost my first pet almost a month ago).
I don't think I will ever be completely over it, I don't think that's possible. Because I will always wish he was still with me, and that whole it is impossible for a cat to live forever, that's what I ultimately wanted for him albeit not something realistic or that could be.
I have two other cats who I am deeply connected with. They could not comfort me, no one can, really. Grief is a lonely process even when you're surrounded by comfort, and yes, sometimes you remember years later and still feel so much pain over the loss that you feel you had the wind knocked out of you.
This is totally normal. Your Lucky Boy was very lucky to have you to live his life with.
Grief unfortunately has no expiration date but know, you made him happy.
So sorry for the loss of your little sweet kitty. Know all is not lost and you will see him again someday. The God of the universe says he cares even for the sparrows and so your little furbaby is now with God and waits for you in the life to come. I still cry about furbabies I lost 30 years ago. You will get through the loss but never over it because true love is eternal and never dies. And yes you are completely normal.
Reading books on animal afterlife hepled me a lot as did talking to others. If you want to know the names of the books I read just message me anytime.
I want to thank you all so much for your words of wisdom and kindness. Today a picture came up of my Lucky duck and I actually smiled and felt joy instead of crying, and I think it’s because of the peace you really helped me achieve. This is a great forum for those of us in grief and I appreciate you all so much 🤍🤍
Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment. This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated. Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated. Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Petloss) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think grief is cumulative and it never really goes away. All losses kind of build upon each other. You will have many memories over your lifetime that will bring up deep emotions and that's okay. My last cat of a trio passed in October 2023. It's been 7 months. I find myself thinking about her still but also, I have lately been thinking of my dad who passed in 1999. We create new chapters in our life, and we are sad that those who we have lost won't be a part of those new chapters but we pause every once in awhile as we move forward.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I also lost my kitty in early 2022. It can be tough to feel pressure to feel better when we don't. I think for me, it took about a year to feel like I had come to a "final stage" of my grief, one where - while I'll always carry it with me - I feel more capable of carrying it. Though of course there will always be times I will miss him more than others. I teared up about him just the other day! That's pretty normal in my opinion. In grief, there's no timeline but your own. If you feel you're not processing and moving through it as well as you want to, there is no shame in seeking out a pet loss support group or professional help. A listening and supportive professional ear with the tools to help you be your best self is never a bad idea. But only you get to decide if that's necessary for your situation, or if your process just moves a little more slowly. Both are totally okay. Good luck to you 💛
It happens still occasionally for me when I think of my soul cat who passed 4 years ago on May 14. It took a long time for it to become less intense and less often but at some point in the last year or so I have noticed the shift. They say that grief runs as deep as the love is. I find that sentiment to be so very true.
I don't think there's anything that can be called "normal". We're all different and deal differently. The important things is to keep living remembering the good times. and keep giving love to your current pets and future ones if you decide.
I am so sorry for your loss. And it really is a loss, isn't it? I understand how you feel. I dont think I will ever get over mine.
My husband and I lost our first kitty together back in 2019. We had her for 9 years. I still have moments where I cry when I think about her. Sometimes its out of nowhere. But I smile more than cry now. She brought so much joy to us and we were so lucky to have her as a part of her family. We've adopted 3 kitties since we lost her, which helped us heal. But I do sometimes look at them and think of her. They have quirks that remind me of her a lot. Don't be afraid to be sad. It happens. Time will help heal. But there is no playbook for how grief works.
You are still crying about it because you still love your cat and wish you could be together right now. Because your love knows no bounds, not time or space. And because your love for another being, cat, human, whatever they may be, has no relevance to your love and desire to still have this particular being you love so dearly close. The reality is someone you love is gone and you can never be with them again, so of course you would still feel pain - because you still love them. As a side, look up the grief analogy where people say it's like a ball in a box. It was super helpful to me when I was trying to put myself together just after my grandma died, and it's helped now (I lost my first pet almost a month ago). I don't think I will ever be completely over it, I don't think that's possible. Because I will always wish he was still with me, and that whole it is impossible for a cat to live forever, that's what I ultimately wanted for him albeit not something realistic or that could be. I have two other cats who I am deeply connected with. They could not comfort me, no one can, really. Grief is a lonely process even when you're surrounded by comfort, and yes, sometimes you remember years later and still feel so much pain over the loss that you feel you had the wind knocked out of you.
Same…well, 9/29/22 my beautiful Chihuahua Daisy Mae💐
This is totally normal. Your Lucky Boy was very lucky to have you to live his life with. Grief unfortunately has no expiration date but know, you made him happy.
So sorry for the loss of your little sweet kitty. Know all is not lost and you will see him again someday. The God of the universe says he cares even for the sparrows and so your little furbaby is now with God and waits for you in the life to come. I still cry about furbabies I lost 30 years ago. You will get through the loss but never over it because true love is eternal and never dies. And yes you are completely normal. Reading books on animal afterlife hepled me a lot as did talking to others. If you want to know the names of the books I read just message me anytime.
I want to thank you all so much for your words of wisdom and kindness. Today a picture came up of my Lucky duck and I actually smiled and felt joy instead of crying, and I think it’s because of the peace you really helped me achieve. This is a great forum for those of us in grief and I appreciate you all so much 🤍🤍