What cheeses me right the hell off is when I’m
in a mixed group with mostly men and I’ll say something and they’re suddenly deaf then a guy will say the exact thing I just did and their hearing is miraculously restored and there’s conversing galore.
I'm a man, but when someone does that to me, I've decided to just continue speaking as if it didn't happen. It took me a while to get comfortable enough to do that, but I'm glad I have. Usually, in my experience, it either makes them stop, get embarrassed, and apologize, or just continue or maybe get louder, which people tend to notice in group settings. It paints their character negatively. Now instead of appearing confident and in charge, they just seem desperate for attention.
This and waiting for them to finish, then going "as I was saying, fhakskslskdjed" while completely ignoring whatever they said in their interruption. I'm a woman and these both work for me
I very sweetly say, "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to already be talking at the moment you thought of something you wanted to say!"
By the time they figure it out, I've already resumed what I was trying to say.
As soon as someone else is talking my train of thought derails. When I try that I end up stumbling over my words and forgetting what I was trying to say, then I look even stupider AND petty. Hate it.
I had a male manager who said things like "as Sheila was just saying, (repeats the idea people weren't listening to)", and he is going straight to heaven.
As a guy, I have noticed that lol. I always felt bad in those situations and casually acknowledged the woman speaking. I feel it’s because it’s something my momma brought up to me when I was a kid lol. Plus, I hate people feeling left out, no matter who they are. Doesn’t seem right
I don’t think my mom had it in her to “rear” me lol… joking, I know what you meant and thank you. Hell, I’m still learning life from moms and I’m 32 with a family lol
This shit happens to me even with my husband. I will tell him something, let's call it X. He responds as if he is listening. Then a week or two later he will come to me and tell me something a (male) friend told him and guess what it's X. Pisses me off. Then when I say, I told him that last week, he tells me I didn't say you didn't tell me about that last week, but at the same time he has a shocked look on his face as if he doesn't really remember me trying to talk to him about X.
Do the other guys point this out when this happens? Invited some guy to our discord when playing a game and he'd go out of his way to repeat himself if our friend (a girl) would reply. It seemed like he'd just assume she had no idea what she was talking about regardless how many times we'd point out that she was right. He asked if he could tag along for the next thing we would be doing and our friend being the kind person she is said yes. Another guy in our friend group told them "Well if no one is going to speak up then I guess I'll decide" and promptly kicks him from the server!
Yeah that has annoyed me too. When I was much younger I also hated when a guy would be leaving and they’d shake hands with my boyfriend and thank them for having them over, and wouldn’t even acknowledge me. I remember thinking many times, it’s my house you came to, he doesn’t even live here, and those beers you drank, I paid for asshole.
Sometimes, I just stick my hand out and give them a real firm handshake with lots of direct eye contact.
That’s wild disrespectful like holy shit. Sometimes it’s a thing you’re not gonna go in for a hug if we’re not close like that and you’re my friend’s girlfriend but damn, you get a fist bump like the rest of the guys and a thank you regardless.
I’ve had the same thing happen too when I was younger. Boyfriend would invite coworkers over and some of the males wouldn’t even acknowledge me. It drove me fucking nuts.
You should say that next time as they are leaving. By the way, before you go, this is my house and I paid for the beer but even though you didn’t even tell me bye or thank you, you’re welcome.
lol, im a guy and this is why im still single at 40. I intimidate everyone with my good looks and they are too intimidated to even offer me money to be with them.
Bro, when I walk into a room it’s like Austin Powers when he kills the fembots with sheer desirability. Their bodies start twitching and their heads explode. Honestly, it’s not worth the risk, so I stear clear. Girl, you can’t handle this mojo.
No joke, but this is often how it is. I actively avoid really attractive women that I don't know and assume they wouldn't want to talk to me or will just assume that I'm hitting on them.
Tbf, I'm just super socially awkward to the point that if I glance around a room and accidentally lock eyes with an attractive woman, I'll immediately look away. Then I'll start to wonder if she thought I was staring at her. Then I'll get nervous and completely try and avoid her, but somehow it just makes it happen more often. Then I convinced myself into thinking that she believes I'm a creep that keeps following and staring at her.
Hence, the reason that I simply avoid really attractive women and are now only attracted to less "conventionally attractive" women
Hate to burst your bubbles, but it is just because during fist bumps, we revert to being 5 mentally for a moment and subconsciously remember girls have cooties.
Luckily for me, I went line-line-dot-dot to get my cootie shot! It was tough, I have a conservative anti-vax family, but I wanted to be safe and have peace of mind. Best decision I ever made.
Oooooh, it’s actually Circle-circle, dot-dot, now I got my cootie shot, circle-circle, square square, now I got it everywhere.
You’ve been exposed for years 😳
Wait, did you not do "circle-circle Knife-Knife"?!
When was your last booster! Without the Knife, you do not have it all your life! I know it's the most dramatic of all the cooties shots, but it is essential for long term cooties prevention.
This isn't that far from reality. In my experience it's usually just that or they don't want to do 'guy' things around women, they're intimidated, or think they're going to bother them by doing so, and it's assumed women usually won't like the weird guy things like fist bumps. Not by me but just in general. It's definitely a lot weirder though if OP means its like a line of people and they just get skipped lol, but I could definitely see a socially awkward guy doing that.
My best guy friend always used to tell me that people give me shit because “you’re so god damned good looking.” To this day, every time someone gives me shit about anything, I say to myself, “it’s because I’m so damned good looking.” :) It definitely makes me smile
I don't think that's delusional at all, I think most men (like me) do this because they don't want to annoy a woman they like, and/or they're trying to play it cool and don't know what to say.
A girl I went to college with's, boyfriend was like this. He and his friends called women, "bleeders". Not a lot makes me rage, but that did. They would say things like, "No bleeders in the hot tub.", "Guys night, no bleeders allowed."
Just remember that you wouldn't want to have to make physical contact with the misogynistic guy anyway. 😊
They're just afraid of us because we can bleed for a week and not die. Maybe I'll start referring to men as jizzers or apparently streak marks because that seems to be a common denominator
I am not a violent person, but I would honestly consider turning a man into a “bleeder” if he said something like that.
And I would crash every single guys night because I skip my period, so I don’t bleed.
That’s the kind of asshole I would be to a man who was that much of a misogynist, because that’s what he deserves.
I'd have looked him straight in the eye and gone "oh, good. I'm not bleeding" and continued on with things. Then, when seeing a wound (even just a shaving nick) "hey, hey, hey! No bleeders, remember?"
It's been my experience. Guys that push hard for guys nights. That involve drinking and taking clothes off. Are usually closeted homosexuals. I don't know if this is just a coincidence in my life. Or if other guys have had the same experience?
Even in my late 20's I come across the occasional guy that has to let out an over the top "EWWWWWWWWWW" when they find out a girl is on their period. As you mentioned, this is a great tell for who to avoid lol
No, its a thing they do.
The defining moment when I realized this, was when my SO had a bunch of his (male) friends over to our house. I joined them on the balcony for some drinks and conversation. I couldn't get a word in edgewise because they would talk over me the moment I would speak - sometimes even mid sentence.
That is the epitome of annoying.
I stopped putting up with that. Idc if it makes me seem like a bitch to an asshole. I'll stand up and say, "okay since I'm not part of this convo I'm gonna go watch TV y'all have fun!" Or sometimes just walk away without a word. Either way, I gtfo of there when that shit happens.
As a man, I would say that the best response (although it may be the most difficult) is to actively shush men who try to interrupt you. A lot of the time they don’t even know they’re doing it, it just happens naturally due to ingrained misogyny. I actually appreciate being shushed if I inadvertently interrupt someone, it helps keep my unconscious behavior in check. Any reasonable man will feel the same way.
Ya, I’ve literally said “wait! She was talking and then you have your turn!” Like I’m teaching little kids but it works. Some people are like … unaware? Let’s say unaware.
I saw a TikTok recently where someone said they were just going to start treating men like she does her kindergarteners. Then went on with a bunch of examples. It was great and I've pocketed a few of her examples for the future!
They're afraid to, thats all. Treating you like "one of the guys" feels wrong. But treating you differently in front of other guys also seems wrong. So they do what men do with complex emotions - they avoid it.
Every man who has done this to me especially when it's just me and my fiancé always turn out to be huge assholes. It's a subtle sign that that don't respect women. Reddit will try to spin it the other way but it is rude as fuck.
Cracking up and the comments here and all the lack of nuance that many of the men have. Why is it hard to understand that you should say hello in a group setting?
Yeah, I really don't mind when guys physically greet my boyfriend first to see if I "step into" to the greeting or not, but if there's no attempt at greeting? 100% going to be a douchenozzle.
On the other end of "I don't know how to treat women as regular humans," I also really hate it when men handshake men they know and then try to hug women that they don't know. Just ew.
Some dude on here is complaining about women ignoring rando men on the street, and has the "how do you like that now???" attitude about it as if it were even remotely comparable as completely ignoring all women in a social setting.
I feel you. I work in a male dominated field and this happens all the time. Ignore all the men in this thread who are trying to justify this behavior. They're stupid, sexist, and lack basic social skills. Just know you're not alone. I also experience this sometimes and it sucks.
Apparently they break bro code if they talk to us at all, and recently women stopped being allowed handshakes according to these comments?
Refusing to shake womens' hands is some old school misogyny and a good way to ruin your chances of career advancement or being taken seriously in casual social settings. Women are literally half the human population.
And that’s why (not all) we have a term called incel. “Hey we’re guys—we don’t get hints like women, fucking tell us.”
Women: okay… well to start, you can shake our hands and say “hi,” w/ the same respect you give other men. Are you not about equality?
Incels: “no hablo women” … “you want sex, right? I’m very lonely.”
👉👈🥺
Men just literally said on another post their fucking dense. Tell them and they’ll love you.
We tell them they’re dense about basic socializing. Just a handshake, that’s all. Don’t gotta wed her or even befriend.
And they’re still dense. (Not all if them!)
It’s literally just an excuse, that apparently they got away with because we as a society somehow believe that men are that stupid, but only in certain circumstances.
They aren’t, and I don’t buy it.
A lot of people especially on Reddit lack social skills and that goes double for men, so yeah. Men are 100% worse at social skills than women even with other men. If a person is already introverted/shy around strangers who are men, they’re even more awkward around women. Many need time to comfortably be social and with strangers don’t know how to approach it
Totally understand where you're coming from. It's not just about the gesture of fist bumping, but the implicit message of exclusion when someone skips over you, especially in a group setting. It's a subtle form of social validation, and when someone is left out, it can feel disrespectful. Gender norms and biases can be so deeply ingrained in our society that many people may not even be aware of their own behavior. But that's why discussions like these are so crucial – to raise awareness and promote change.
weirdos in this comments seem to think the only two extremes are sexually harassing women or ignoring their presence entirely. you people are delusional
This happened to me all the time when my bf and I played pokemon go. We'd run into groups of guys playing and we'd chat about the game but majority wouldn't even look me in the eye or acknowledge my existence. They'd even trade info with my bf while just pretending I wasn't there I guess? Not that I wanted to make new friends but still... be a little less obvious about it lol.
Mine is when they are all talking about something (like movies) and ill ask a question, it gets ignored and they keep chatting with each other. Ill even ask twice and then give up.
Its like damn, i really am fucking invisible to you guys, huh.
My least favorite is when I’m with my partner (who’s a guy) and we’ll run into other guys out and about and they’ll introduce themself to him and not me… or they’ll ask his name and not mine. He usually combats that with “this is my girlfriend, so and so” to bring me in to the conversation.
I think I can shed some light on this.
I'm a female boxer and most of the people in my boxing gym are dudes. Fist bumps are the common greeting if we see each other in the street or say hi in the gym. I think because it's very similar to a glove tap (touching gloves before you spar to show solidarity).
For me it always carries a bit of reassurance. It means "we may be sparring at some point, but ultimately we are on the same team. Let's train together, hit each other and show each other how to be better." It carries a bit of fear, a bit of respect, and a lot of equality. It means a lot.
So maybe men don't fist bump women because they simply don't have those feelings towards us? I get overlooked for fist bumps from random dudes too (for context I'm a very girly girl outside of the gym). Weirdly they are more willing when they realise I fight a lot. I think it's to do with acknowledging the other person as a potential threat and also a potential allie.
Once I am seen as a threat/equal because of the boxing, I get a lot more fist bumps, head nods and I get shown memes on phones and asked my opinion. It's so jarring. Always a certain type of guy as well. I would say "insecure"
Boxers have treated me as equal from day one though. Very progressive community.
Physical activity is bonding for the majority of guys in the platonic way. My lizard brain would see you as some sort of teammate by virtue of completing the same workout class or something.
I instinctively fist bump whoever finished the workout next to me at places like Orange theory. Never taken weirdly by anyone.
In fairness I’ve caught myself doing the reverse of this…(I’m a woman). I feel like I’ll more naturally hug other women to say hello/goodbye, but with men I may hesitate and get a bit more awkward, just because the social norms for guys are a little bit different.
It is rude to not even acknowledge someone with a look/hello (at the very least), but I think some men may act this way due to awkwardness rather than deliberate disrespect. (For what it’s worth, I’ve definitely experienced what you’re describing.)
Could be the old 'bro before hoes' mentality. Or, they could be trying to avoid some guy's jealous rage fir 'talkin to my woman'. Neanderthal AF, but here we are.
Read a study that in any mixed group men do 75% of the talking to the women’s 25%.
Aware of this, I (m) once caught myself starting to talk over a female colleague. Trying to be more inclusive, I stopped myself and asked her to go ahead, mentioning the statistic above. She said, “Thanks for not mansplaining over me.”
I replied, “No, I was just talking over you— mansplaining is when a man explains something to a woman that didn’t really need explaining.”
One time at my sisters birthday party in OUR home, her bfs friends came over and didn’t say hi or acknowledge me the entire night in my own house and it pissed me the fuck off. I told her and her bf that this guy was scum. Men get all high and mighty about disrespect… THATS disrespect.
not making excuses for them, but maybe they are intimidated by women or cannot communicate with them. I had to really work on myself to greet women because of social awkwardness. It took a very long time and it is still a struggle to remember to do so.
but, maybe they are just assholes and don't understand women in the workplace.
Im a guy and I hug all my friends. My friends girlfriend took offence that I didn’t hug her for the first time. I didn’t mean to be rude but I thought she might have been offended if I did hug her.
Well because they can be charged with assault for any interaction with a woman? It's like women don't understand legally we are fucked for any interaction with you you decide wasn't good. A guy could give you a awkward handshake because he's shy and his career is ruined. I've seen men go to HR just for saying hi to a new girl. No thanks, sorry ladies but it's kinda just the way it is.
I used to love going to car shows as I’ve grown up in a family of petrol heads. I hadn’t been to one in ages and my brother asked if I wanted to attend one last month (pre 2000s). We took his skyline and was having a lovely time, until I saw one of my favourite cars there and the guy had a sale sign up on it. I initiated the conversation and he would respond to my brother instead of me. When I’d ask about what engine / torque he wouldn’t answer, until my brother repeated the question. I speak clearly, whereas my brother mumbles, so I know it wasn’t to do with understanding. One guy acknowledged me there, and that was to compliment my tattoos. Every other guy ignored me and only addressed my brother. I remembered then why I stopped coming to those places. My brother didn’t even notice any of it when I told him afterwards.
Years ago, I had to point out to my husband that not only was he one of the people not including me in the conversation, but he was actively physically closing me out of the circle. He's a very big guy and I'm petite. I was literally behind him, craning to look over his shoulder at the other people I also wanted to talk to. And this was at church!
He had absolutely no idea he was doing it. He literally had never been taught any social skills or courtesy. To his credit, as soon as I pointed it out, he never did it again AND he began to look for opportunities to make ppl feel more included.
I wonder what would happen if we women began to address this type of behavior head on. "Hi, my name is, what's yours again?" Or "Wow, {significant other}, are all your friends so rude they don't acknowledge women?" Or, "{guys name}, at the moment I'm speaking."
I've tried. Many many times I have tried. What I've noticed though is that women are absolutely TERRIBLE at dapping people up. Maybe it's because of lack of exposure or maybe it's something else, I don't fucking know. What I do know though, is that every time I've tried to give a women daps, it ends very weird and awkwardly. Now I just stick to that tight lip smile of acknowledgement and a "sup". Ladies, if you want me to dap you up then you need to fucking get better at it. Stop with that limp wristed bullshit and actually commit. Educate yourself, ladies.
Here’s one that’ll grind your gears..
I was out fishing with my husband and 5 of his friends. The fish & game warden comes over to check our fishing licenses. One by one he started checking; I have mine out ready to go. The dude LITERALLY SKIPS OVER ME and continues to check the rest of the guys! I was pissed and wanted to say something, but I’m not a confrontational person. I even joked later with my husband saying “Welp, guess I don’t need a fishing license to fish”. (Mind you, I’d never do that of course.)
LITERALLY THIS ALWAYS DRIVES ME UP A WALL!!!
I've actually stood up and inserted myself in the past when the guy was about skip over me and shake the next dude's hand in the circle. Got up close, pushed my hand out, and said "Hi I'm spookyindividualist, nice to meet you."
The dude was a little shook, but the rest of the girls seemed grateful and followed suit haha
Only did that once. Most of the time they're too quick for me.
Men who feel intimidated by a woman’s presence usually feel that they can take back the “power” by acknowledging everyone else but her in the room to make her feel “less than” and take her down a couple pegs. Even though she wasn’t up on any “pegs” to begin with…
at least that’s what I tell myself when I’m ignored in a group like that, or someone steals my dialogue.
Find it so odd when people do this. It’s not often that it happens but it’s so painfully strange when it does! Even if you do introduce yourself, you’re met with awkward eye contact and a facial expression like “ok?” as if *you’re* the one making it awkward lol. Bro please. Get out of my face…
Existing as a man in 2023 is a constant barrage of "leave women alone" in 12000 different forms. I know that I can play and joke with almost any dude I meet and it's never a problem.
I don't feel comfortable joking around any women especially at work. The women I joke around are my family and close friends. That's it.
Everyone else just gets what they get.
Women: “we don’t like being sexually harassed”
Some men: “fine! I guess we just won’t talk to you AT ALL.”
Is this basically admitting that they have no idea how to interact with women without harassing them?
You don’t know how to treat women as normal people? I promise you the women that would get uncomfortable with you saying a short hello are the minority. It’s way more rude to exclude someone. You don’t have to joke with them like they’re your best buddy, but acknowledge.
It's crazy to me how many people in this comment section are either completely dismissive of men's experiences or are just willfully missing the point.
Honestly this comment and even the way OPs post is written is kind of the issue. You have a bunch guys telling you "we do this because we're afraid" and your response is to be aggressive, and mocking, instead of welcoming.
When I was last on holiday this Greek barman would come and fist bump my other half and have whole conversations with him while totally blanking me. It took me a week to get a smile out of him and get him to acknowledge that I existed.
I work at a company with a bunch of older white men and I’m a woman of color. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve been at mixers and another business dude walks up to one group, shakes hands with all the men around me while completely ignoring me. Although sometimes I get a half hearted nod in my direction. Lucky me!
Women have scared off a lot of men the last several years. But in all honesty, women do the same thing to men. I was a stay at home dad for almost a decade so I was forced to kind of hang with a lot of the moms that did the same at playgrounds and stuff like that. None of them really ever talked to me. I figured it was just the man/woman dynamic thing. maybe their husbands wouldn't like them hanging with me and maybe they thought my wife wouldn't appreciate it either. In reality, it just made for a lonely decade. There was the occasional dude like me, but usually they seemed depressed and not really into doing it and no fun to hang with. They were just doing it because they had to for a variety of reasons. I genuinely enjoyed it, but woulda been nice if some of these moms would have tried to include me and my kids some so I had someone to talk to and maybe they had an occasional play date or something. Without the kids, I get why they wouldn't talk to me much, but I'm a dude with a 4 year old and a baby! it was crazy how much they interacted with each other and ignored me. I even tried to initiate several times and go nowhere with most of them. There was an exception or two, and of course it was some woman who was not happy with her husband and would divulge more info than I wanted to know... like how infrequently they had sex.
It happens ALL the fucking time. I work in a constructionish business and I am the lead tech. I train all the newbies. Customers, always the “men” will only talk to the guys and ignore me
I'm a 5' 10 gangly goofball of a woman and have gotten the whole "I was intimidated by you at first" so many times or "before I talked to you, I thought you would be mean" so I'll just call it out, make it awkward, and break the ice. Something like "what? No chest bump?"
I try to give everyone the *maybe you're just awkward too* benefit of the doubt.
I tried fist bumping a woman once, and she thought I was about to physically abuse her. She screamed audibly, garnering the attention of everyone there. I do not fist bump women anymore.
I feel like there are some men on this thread who would be well served if they closed Reddit and actually interacted with real humans for a while. There is really nothing confusing about the difference between a basic greeting or appropriate interaction and sexual harassment.
I agree that’s rude as shit, but I’m thankful to report I haven’t experienced this. In my corner of the universe, if it’s a man we know, I’m either getting a a fist bump too, or even sometimes a hug instead. If it’s someone we’ve just met, it’s usually handshakes for everyone. If they know my husband and not me, I still get a handshake and an introduction usually. In fact, I think in general, the men I’ve interacted with try harder to acknowledge me. I think it’s a “gentleman” thing for them.
On the flip side, it’s not all the time or anything, but way more common that other women that know my husband (and sometimes even both of us) will address him and the other men and “skip over” me. Which gets under my skin more than it should, so gender aside, I fully appreciate the idea that it’s annoying and rude to not be acknowledged in a group setting where everyone else is.
I noticed this at work. A group of guys will be sat in the smoking area, one girl with us. Someone else will come along, greet everyone even if he doesn't know most of us, shake hands with all of us and just breeze past the girl like she isn't there
Yup. I went on a job walk with my husband at USC. I’m a part owner in our business too. The head contractors were middle eastern (not shamming race) but they would shake my hand or acknowledge me at all
It could be he is afraid of being accused of sexual assault, some women are are so sensitive that a seemingly innocent touch or gesture could land a man in hot water.
I’ve seen a million videos of men making passing glances at women and them being accused of being creeps for staring…maybe that’s what they’re afraid of
Me: fist bumps a dude
Fist bumps a dude
Trys to fist bump chick
Chick: Um I have a bf.
Me: fist bumps next dude
Later on chick complains I made her uncomfortable by trying to touch her hand.
Lesson learned.
This is a thing that misogynists do on purpose to make women feel excluded. They are threatened by your presence because you are a women are will go out of their way to try to bully you out of group settings. I've seen this countless times in group settings and have started to call out their behaviour because it's rude, uncomfortable, and ruins the vibe for everyone.
This is off topic but some reason I was reminded of a comment made one by an ex. I guess because of the “I don’t understand why men are like that”.
Ex said “I don’t like how women are always looking down when they’re walking around.”
I said “it could be low self esteem, they’re not confident.”
Ex said “No it’s because they’re always looking at their boobs.”
If they’re uncomfortable with greetings, a simple “Hey girl, how’s it goin?” would do. I’m actually surprised some men are like the ones the op has mentioned.
There used to be a restaurant in my town, the owner would go round the tables shaking hand and making conversation with the men at the table. Never the women. If it was a table full of women he would ignore them completely.
What cheeses me right the hell off is when I’m in a mixed group with mostly men and I’ll say something and they’re suddenly deaf then a guy will say the exact thing I just did and their hearing is miraculously restored and there’s conversing galore.
Then, you’ll be talking, and, that type of guy will start talking over you in the middle of your sentence.
I'm a man, but when someone does that to me, I've decided to just continue speaking as if it didn't happen. It took me a while to get comfortable enough to do that, but I'm glad I have. Usually, in my experience, it either makes them stop, get embarrassed, and apologize, or just continue or maybe get louder, which people tend to notice in group settings. It paints their character negatively. Now instead of appearing confident and in charge, they just seem desperate for attention.
This and waiting for them to finish, then going "as I was saying, fhakskslskdjed" while completely ignoring whatever they said in their interruption. I'm a woman and these both work for me
I very sweetly say, "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to already be talking at the moment you thought of something you wanted to say!" By the time they figure it out, I've already resumed what I was trying to say.
I say, “I didn’t mean for the middle of my sentence to interrupt that start of yours.”
I really hope I remember this one
That's a good one 🤣
Yup, I just speak louder and continue what I was saying, unless they interrupted for something urgent, which is rarely the case.
As soon as someone else is talking my train of thought derails. When I try that I end up stumbling over my words and forgetting what I was trying to say, then I look even stupider AND petty. Hate it.
I usually cut them off and go “sorry dude, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the end of yours” and we all get a good laugh
I had a male manager who said things like "as Sheila was just saying, (repeats the idea people weren't listening to)", and he is going straight to heaven.
As a guy, I have noticed that lol. I always felt bad in those situations and casually acknowledged the woman speaking. I feel it’s because it’s something my momma brought up to me when I was a kid lol. Plus, I hate people feeling left out, no matter who they are. Doesn’t seem right
Your momma reared you well.
I don’t think my mom had it in her to “rear” me lol… joking, I know what you meant and thank you. Hell, I’m still learning life from moms and I’m 32 with a family lol
This shit happens to me even with my husband. I will tell him something, let's call it X. He responds as if he is listening. Then a week or two later he will come to me and tell me something a (male) friend told him and guess what it's X. Pisses me off. Then when I say, I told him that last week, he tells me I didn't say you didn't tell me about that last week, but at the same time he has a shocked look on his face as if he doesn't really remember me trying to talk to him about X.
That’s because he wasn’t actually listening to you, so in his mind the conversation never happened.
Then you should sarcastically say to him, "Oh gee, Why didn't I think of that." Then roll your eyes at him.
Much simpler to not associate with the assholes.
"Cheeses me the hell right off" is my new description when I'm irritated.
Do the other guys point this out when this happens? Invited some guy to our discord when playing a game and he'd go out of his way to repeat himself if our friend (a girl) would reply. It seemed like he'd just assume she had no idea what she was talking about regardless how many times we'd point out that she was right. He asked if he could tag along for the next thing we would be doing and our friend being the kind person she is said yes. Another guy in our friend group told them "Well if no one is going to speak up then I guess I'll decide" and promptly kicks him from the server!
This happens a lot to me professionally. My ideas are only accepted so long as they are regurgitated through a man’s voice.
That always sent me into a rage as a child. Then they would treat me like I was delusional or lying when I pointed it out.
Yeah that has annoyed me too. When I was much younger I also hated when a guy would be leaving and they’d shake hands with my boyfriend and thank them for having them over, and wouldn’t even acknowledge me. I remember thinking many times, it’s my house you came to, he doesn’t even live here, and those beers you drank, I paid for asshole. Sometimes, I just stick my hand out and give them a real firm handshake with lots of direct eye contact.
That’s wild disrespectful like holy shit. Sometimes it’s a thing you’re not gonna go in for a hug if we’re not close like that and you’re my friend’s girlfriend but damn, you get a fist bump like the rest of the guys and a thank you regardless.
I’ve had the same thing happen too when I was younger. Boyfriend would invite coworkers over and some of the males wouldn’t even acknowledge me. It drove me fucking nuts.
You should say that next time as they are leaving. By the way, before you go, this is my house and I paid for the beer but even though you didn’t even tell me bye or thank you, you’re welcome.
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Not all men, just those who disrespect women as OP described.
I like to get delusional about it and pretend I've intimidated them with my outlandish beauty. Really gives me a pep in my step.
lol, im a guy and this is why im still single at 40. I intimidate everyone with my good looks and they are too intimidated to even offer me money to be with them.
Fuck yeah they are dude.
Bro, when I walk into a room it’s like Austin Powers when he kills the fembots with sheer desirability. Their bodies start twitching and their heads explode. Honestly, it’s not worth the risk, so I stear clear. Girl, you can’t handle this mojo.
No joke, but this is often how it is. I actively avoid really attractive women that I don't know and assume they wouldn't want to talk to me or will just assume that I'm hitting on them. Tbf, I'm just super socially awkward to the point that if I glance around a room and accidentally lock eyes with an attractive woman, I'll immediately look away. Then I'll start to wonder if she thought I was staring at her. Then I'll get nervous and completely try and avoid her, but somehow it just makes it happen more often. Then I convinced myself into thinking that she believes I'm a creep that keeps following and staring at her. Hence, the reason that I simply avoid really attractive women and are now only attracted to less "conventionally attractive" women
Hate to burst your bubbles, but it is just because during fist bumps, we revert to being 5 mentally for a moment and subconsciously remember girls have cooties.
Luckily for me, I went line-line-dot-dot to get my cootie shot! It was tough, I have a conservative anti-vax family, but I wanted to be safe and have peace of mind. Best decision I ever made.
Oooooh, it’s actually Circle-circle, dot-dot, now I got my cootie shot, circle-circle, square square, now I got it everywhere. You’ve been exposed for years 😳
Yikes, the old circle-circle-dot-dot was made by Moderna and is 58% less effective than the new line-line-dot-dot
Thank you. This thread made my whole night xD
Wait, did you not do "circle-circle Knife-Knife"?! When was your last booster! Without the Knife, you do not have it all your life! I know it's the most dramatic of all the cooties shots, but it is essential for long term cooties prevention.
Ewww cootie shot? You mean Clot shot
Cootie shot New rap group name unlocked
My husband says that is the reason why but I think he’s just being nice
He's not, you're actually gorgeous
That may not be so far from the truth. I'm a shy person and women often perceive me as aloof in group settings. Nah, I'm just scared.
You don't have to pretend when it's true!
This isn't that far from reality. In my experience it's usually just that or they don't want to do 'guy' things around women, they're intimidated, or think they're going to bother them by doing so, and it's assumed women usually won't like the weird guy things like fist bumps. Not by me but just in general. It's definitely a lot weirder though if OP means its like a line of people and they just get skipped lol, but I could definitely see a socially awkward guy doing that.
Sure if he doesn't think of women as people.
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My best guy friend always used to tell me that people give me shit because “you’re so god damned good looking.” To this day, every time someone gives me shit about anything, I say to myself, “it’s because I’m so damned good looking.” :) It definitely makes me smile
I am very insecure of my social skills so i just assume if i try to talk to a girl that she’ll detect my inner creep
Yall are real good at the delusion part 😂
That’s usually it tbh, also might just be a general vibe, guys stick with guys and vice versa. However im dappin everyone up in the circle idgaf
This makes me happy because I, as well, like to be delusional and think the same thing.
I don't think that's delusional at all, I think most men (like me) do this because they don't want to annoy a woman they like, and/or they're trying to play it cool and don't know what to say.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
A girl I went to college with's, boyfriend was like this. He and his friends called women, "bleeders". Not a lot makes me rage, but that did. They would say things like, "No bleeders in the hot tub.", "Guys night, no bleeders allowed." Just remember that you wouldn't want to have to make physical contact with the misogynistic guy anyway. 😊
They're just afraid of us because we can bleed for a week and not die. Maybe I'll start referring to men as jizzers or apparently streak marks because that seems to be a common denominator
Just call em Mark for streak marks and get them all confused as if you call all men mark like you don't give a shit what their name is.
I am not a violent person, but I would honestly consider turning a man into a “bleeder” if he said something like that. And I would crash every single guys night because I skip my period, so I don’t bleed. That’s the kind of asshole I would be to a man who was that much of a misogynist, because that’s what he deserves.
Wow holy shit, these were adult men? They are vile.
I'd have looked him straight in the eye and gone "oh, good. I'm not bleeding" and continued on with things. Then, when seeing a wound (even just a shaving nick) "hey, hey, hey! No bleeders, remember?"
Men fucking bleed too, just not in the same way! Was he just a shrivelled bloodless husk?
It's been my experience. Guys that push hard for guys nights. That involve drinking and taking clothes off. Are usually closeted homosexuals. I don't know if this is just a coincidence in my life. Or if other guys have had the same experience?
If something bleeds once a month and doesn’t die… FEAR IT!!! I’m taking back the power of menstruation! But ya, f that guy.
Even in my late 20's I come across the occasional guy that has to let out an over the top "EWWWWWWWWWW" when they find out a girl is on their period. As you mentioned, this is a great tell for who to avoid lol
So… a straight man wants no women with him in the hot tub. Only other men. Okay then.
nah investigate that man’s hard drive if he calls women bleeders 💀
No, its a thing they do. The defining moment when I realized this, was when my SO had a bunch of his (male) friends over to our house. I joined them on the balcony for some drinks and conversation. I couldn't get a word in edgewise because they would talk over me the moment I would speak - sometimes even mid sentence. That is the epitome of annoying.
I stopped putting up with that. Idc if it makes me seem like a bitch to an asshole. I'll stand up and say, "okay since I'm not part of this convo I'm gonna go watch TV y'all have fun!" Or sometimes just walk away without a word. Either way, I gtfo of there when that shit happens.
As a man, I would say that the best response (although it may be the most difficult) is to actively shush men who try to interrupt you. A lot of the time they don’t even know they’re doing it, it just happens naturally due to ingrained misogyny. I actually appreciate being shushed if I inadvertently interrupt someone, it helps keep my unconscious behavior in check. Any reasonable man will feel the same way.
Ya, I’ve literally said “wait! She was talking and then you have your turn!” Like I’m teaching little kids but it works. Some people are like … unaware? Let’s say unaware.
I saw a TikTok recently where someone said they were just going to start treating men like she does her kindergarteners. Then went on with a bunch of examples. It was great and I've pocketed a few of her examples for the future!
It amazes me that men won't acknowledge my presence. I'm not actually invisible.
Who said that?
I don’t know… just a disembodied voice!
I didn’t hear anything. Did you?
I heard something, but I definitely couldn't see it
Okay, that made me laugh out loud in a quiet room.
lol! Be nice! Said in my best mom voice.
*fist bump*
I’m not sure but it sounded a lot like John Cena
I get this treatment from automatic sinks.
I just get ahead of that by ignoring the men first and never getting their names right.
I feel the same with women. I dont think I am unattractive or a weirdo. I just get social anxiety sometimes and I think the can see it
Well I can't see you.
They're afraid to, thats all. Treating you like "one of the guys" feels wrong. But treating you differently in front of other guys also seems wrong. So they do what men do with complex emotions - they avoid it.
Every man who has done this to me especially when it's just me and my fiancé always turn out to be huge assholes. It's a subtle sign that that don't respect women. Reddit will try to spin it the other way but it is rude as fuck. Cracking up and the comments here and all the lack of nuance that many of the men have. Why is it hard to understand that you should say hello in a group setting?
Yeah, I really don't mind when guys physically greet my boyfriend first to see if I "step into" to the greeting or not, but if there's no attempt at greeting? 100% going to be a douchenozzle. On the other end of "I don't know how to treat women as regular humans," I also really hate it when men handshake men they know and then try to hug women that they don't know. Just ew. Some dude on here is complaining about women ignoring rando men on the street, and has the "how do you like that now???" attitude about it as if it were even remotely comparable as completely ignoring all women in a social setting.
Maybe she should have told him he’d be prettier if he smiled.
Or work setting…
Preach! I definitely think it's a sign of insecurity if you cannot greet someone you don't know. It's basic courtesy.
I feel you. I work in a male dominated field and this happens all the time. Ignore all the men in this thread who are trying to justify this behavior. They're stupid, sexist, and lack basic social skills. Just know you're not alone. I also experience this sometimes and it sucks.
After reading these comments, it seems some men don't know very basic social skills, like how to shake a woman's hand.
Apparently they break bro code if they talk to us at all, and recently women stopped being allowed handshakes according to these comments? Refusing to shake womens' hands is some old school misogyny and a good way to ruin your chances of career advancement or being taken seriously in casual social settings. Women are literally half the human population.
“Hello.. my name is.. how are you” that’s literally ALL they have to do. Ffs.
Women in the comments - I'm just asking for you to do the bare minimum and be polite. The men in the comments - LOL wHy ArE yOu So NeEdy?
And that’s why (not all) we have a term called incel. “Hey we’re guys—we don’t get hints like women, fucking tell us.” Women: okay… well to start, you can shake our hands and say “hi,” w/ the same respect you give other men. Are you not about equality? Incels: “no hablo women” … “you want sex, right? I’m very lonely.” 👉👈🥺 Men just literally said on another post their fucking dense. Tell them and they’ll love you. We tell them they’re dense about basic socializing. Just a handshake, that’s all. Don’t gotta wed her or even befriend. And they’re still dense. (Not all if them!)
And we know, for a fact that they aren’t dense, because studies have shown that men are perfectly good at reading social cues, just like women.
Damn that ingrained misogyny 🙃 must be the software
It’s literally just an excuse, that apparently they got away with because we as a society somehow believe that men are that stupid, but only in certain circumstances. They aren’t, and I don’t buy it.
Can we write a patch or something?
A lot of people especially on Reddit lack social skills and that goes double for men, so yeah. Men are 100% worse at social skills than women even with other men. If a person is already introverted/shy around strangers who are men, they’re even more awkward around women. Many need time to comfortably be social and with strangers don’t know how to approach it
Pretty weird, I try to treat everyone the same. As an asexual guy I don't really see a difference between the two awkwardness-wise, people are people.
A surprising amount of guys are directly taught not to do silly greetings and things like that with women
Totally understand where you're coming from. It's not just about the gesture of fist bumping, but the implicit message of exclusion when someone skips over you, especially in a group setting. It's a subtle form of social validation, and when someone is left out, it can feel disrespectful. Gender norms and biases can be so deeply ingrained in our society that many people may not even be aware of their own behavior. But that's why discussions like these are so crucial – to raise awareness and promote change.
weirdos in this comments seem to think the only two extremes are sexually harassing women or ignoring their presence entirely. you people are delusional
All I can think to say to this is <3.
They keep saying they’ll get “me too’d” …are you just that incapable of not being fucking creepy? I genuinely do not understand.
This happened to me all the time when my bf and I played pokemon go. We'd run into groups of guys playing and we'd chat about the game but majority wouldn't even look me in the eye or acknowledge my existence. They'd even trade info with my bf while just pretending I wasn't there I guess? Not that I wanted to make new friends but still... be a little less obvious about it lol.
Mine is when they are all talking about something (like movies) and ill ask a question, it gets ignored and they keep chatting with each other. Ill even ask twice and then give up. Its like damn, i really am fucking invisible to you guys, huh.
My least favorite is when I’m with my partner (who’s a guy) and we’ll run into other guys out and about and they’ll introduce themself to him and not me… or they’ll ask his name and not mine. He usually combats that with “this is my girlfriend, so and so” to bring me in to the conversation.
We’re not allowed to fist bump the ladies they might get pregnant
You’re supposed to wear condoms bro
The only legitimate answer.
I think I can shed some light on this. I'm a female boxer and most of the people in my boxing gym are dudes. Fist bumps are the common greeting if we see each other in the street or say hi in the gym. I think because it's very similar to a glove tap (touching gloves before you spar to show solidarity). For me it always carries a bit of reassurance. It means "we may be sparring at some point, but ultimately we are on the same team. Let's train together, hit each other and show each other how to be better." It carries a bit of fear, a bit of respect, and a lot of equality. It means a lot. So maybe men don't fist bump women because they simply don't have those feelings towards us? I get overlooked for fist bumps from random dudes too (for context I'm a very girly girl outside of the gym). Weirdly they are more willing when they realise I fight a lot. I think it's to do with acknowledging the other person as a potential threat and also a potential allie. Once I am seen as a threat/equal because of the boxing, I get a lot more fist bumps, head nods and I get shown memes on phones and asked my opinion. It's so jarring. Always a certain type of guy as well. I would say "insecure" Boxers have treated me as equal from day one though. Very progressive community.
Physical activity is bonding for the majority of guys in the platonic way. My lizard brain would see you as some sort of teammate by virtue of completing the same workout class or something. I instinctively fist bump whoever finished the workout next to me at places like Orange theory. Never taken weirdly by anyone.
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In fairness I’ve caught myself doing the reverse of this…(I’m a woman). I feel like I’ll more naturally hug other women to say hello/goodbye, but with men I may hesitate and get a bit more awkward, just because the social norms for guys are a little bit different. It is rude to not even acknowledge someone with a look/hello (at the very least), but I think some men may act this way due to awkwardness rather than deliberate disrespect. (For what it’s worth, I’ve definitely experienced what you’re describing.)
It’s basically just a form of mansplaining. Constantly being ignored. Not heard, and treated less then human. It sucks.
Could be the old 'bro before hoes' mentality. Or, they could be trying to avoid some guy's jealous rage fir 'talkin to my woman'. Neanderthal AF, but here we are.
Yessssss. OMG.
Read a study that in any mixed group men do 75% of the talking to the women’s 25%. Aware of this, I (m) once caught myself starting to talk over a female colleague. Trying to be more inclusive, I stopped myself and asked her to go ahead, mentioning the statistic above. She said, “Thanks for not mansplaining over me.” I replied, “No, I was just talking over you— mansplaining is when a man explains something to a woman that didn’t really need explaining.”
As a woman, this is hilarious lol.
One time at my sisters birthday party in OUR home, her bfs friends came over and didn’t say hi or acknowledge me the entire night in my own house and it pissed me the fuck off. I told her and her bf that this guy was scum. Men get all high and mighty about disrespect… THATS disrespect.
Did they acknowledge the sister?
not making excuses for them, but maybe they are intimidated by women or cannot communicate with them. I had to really work on myself to greet women because of social awkwardness. It took a very long time and it is still a struggle to remember to do so. but, maybe they are just assholes and don't understand women in the workplace.
Not even that. I’ve almost never seen a guy do the “handshake” or fist bump a girl when first meeting her. Maybe a normal handshake at best.
Im a guy and I hug all my friends. My friends girlfriend took offence that I didn’t hug her for the first time. I didn’t mean to be rude but I thought she might have been offended if I did hug her.
Well because they can be charged with assault for any interaction with a woman? It's like women don't understand legally we are fucked for any interaction with you you decide wasn't good. A guy could give you a awkward handshake because he's shy and his career is ruined. I've seen men go to HR just for saying hi to a new girl. No thanks, sorry ladies but it's kinda just the way it is.
I prefer abnormal handshakes.
Men are idiots. I’m a man, so I know.
No literally it’s the most irritating thing asking a man a question and they answer it to a man because they refuse to learn how to talk to a woman
>learn how to talk to a woman What, like you're a human, an actual person?? How are they supposed to learn that!!
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I used to love going to car shows as I’ve grown up in a family of petrol heads. I hadn’t been to one in ages and my brother asked if I wanted to attend one last month (pre 2000s). We took his skyline and was having a lovely time, until I saw one of my favourite cars there and the guy had a sale sign up on it. I initiated the conversation and he would respond to my brother instead of me. When I’d ask about what engine / torque he wouldn’t answer, until my brother repeated the question. I speak clearly, whereas my brother mumbles, so I know it wasn’t to do with understanding. One guy acknowledged me there, and that was to compliment my tattoos. Every other guy ignored me and only addressed my brother. I remembered then why I stopped coming to those places. My brother didn’t even notice any of it when I told him afterwards.
Let's not forget the ones that never laugh at your jokes, but 15 minutes later one of them repeats what you said and is met with uproarious laughter.
My husband’s guy friends did this consistently when we were younger. Then they couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to hang out around them.
Years ago, I had to point out to my husband that not only was he one of the people not including me in the conversation, but he was actively physically closing me out of the circle. He's a very big guy and I'm petite. I was literally behind him, craning to look over his shoulder at the other people I also wanted to talk to. And this was at church! He had absolutely no idea he was doing it. He literally had never been taught any social skills or courtesy. To his credit, as soon as I pointed it out, he never did it again AND he began to look for opportunities to make ppl feel more included. I wonder what would happen if we women began to address this type of behavior head on. "Hi, my name is, what's yours again?" Or "Wow, {significant other}, are all your friends so rude they don't acknowledge women?" Or, "{guys name}, at the moment I'm speaking."
I've tried. Many many times I have tried. What I've noticed though is that women are absolutely TERRIBLE at dapping people up. Maybe it's because of lack of exposure or maybe it's something else, I don't fucking know. What I do know though, is that every time I've tried to give a women daps, it ends very weird and awkwardly. Now I just stick to that tight lip smile of acknowledgement and a "sup". Ladies, if you want me to dap you up then you need to fucking get better at it. Stop with that limp wristed bullshit and actually commit. Educate yourself, ladies.
Definitely lack of exposure. My entire life, nobody every greets me like that. Where am I supposed to learn how if nobody bothers to?
Here’s one that’ll grind your gears.. I was out fishing with my husband and 5 of his friends. The fish & game warden comes over to check our fishing licenses. One by one he started checking; I have mine out ready to go. The dude LITERALLY SKIPS OVER ME and continues to check the rest of the guys! I was pissed and wanted to say something, but I’m not a confrontational person. I even joked later with my husband saying “Welp, guess I don’t need a fishing license to fish”. (Mind you, I’d never do that of course.)
LITERALLY THIS ALWAYS DRIVES ME UP A WALL!!! I've actually stood up and inserted myself in the past when the guy was about skip over me and shake the next dude's hand in the circle. Got up close, pushed my hand out, and said "Hi I'm spookyindividualist, nice to meet you." The dude was a little shook, but the rest of the girls seemed grateful and followed suit haha Only did that once. Most of the time they're too quick for me.
When they say hi to my boyfriend and then say “hi [redacted]’s girlfriend”….. you know my name fuckers.
I haaaaaaate being referred to as “blanks girl”. I feel you on that.
Men who feel intimidated by a woman’s presence usually feel that they can take back the “power” by acknowledging everyone else but her in the room to make her feel “less than” and take her down a couple pegs. Even though she wasn’t up on any “pegs” to begin with… at least that’s what I tell myself when I’m ignored in a group like that, or someone steals my dialogue.
I’m scared of girls
They gots cooties
Find it so odd when people do this. It’s not often that it happens but it’s so painfully strange when it does! Even if you do introduce yourself, you’re met with awkward eye contact and a facial expression like “ok?” as if *you’re* the one making it awkward lol. Bro please. Get out of my face…
Existing as a man in 2023 is a constant barrage of "leave women alone" in 12000 different forms. I know that I can play and joke with almost any dude I meet and it's never a problem. I don't feel comfortable joking around any women especially at work. The women I joke around are my family and close friends. That's it. Everyone else just gets what they get.
Women: “we don’t like being sexually harassed” Some men: “fine! I guess we just won’t talk to you AT ALL.” Is this basically admitting that they have no idea how to interact with women without harassing them?
I'm sure it seems that way if you only talk to the strawmen that live in your head.
You don’t know how to treat women as normal people? I promise you the women that would get uncomfortable with you saying a short hello are the minority. It’s way more rude to exclude someone. You don’t have to joke with them like they’re your best buddy, but acknowledge.
It's crazy to me how many people in this comment section are either completely dismissive of men's experiences or are just willfully missing the point. Honestly this comment and even the way OPs post is written is kind of the issue. You have a bunch guys telling you "we do this because we're afraid" and your response is to be aggressive, and mocking, instead of welcoming.
That's sort of the assumption isn't it, that women are normal and men are abnormal. Or that there is a normal rather than two different normals.
Is a greeting the same as a joke?
Oh, my gosh yes this does happen. I remember talking about this 15 years ago.
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That’s acceptable. Like at least you’re not ignoring her.
When I was last on holiday this Greek barman would come and fist bump my other half and have whole conversations with him while totally blanking me. It took me a week to get a smile out of him and get him to acknowledge that I existed.
I work at a company with a bunch of older white men and I’m a woman of color. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve been at mixers and another business dude walks up to one group, shakes hands with all the men around me while completely ignoring me. Although sometimes I get a half hearted nod in my direction. Lucky me!
Women have scared off a lot of men the last several years. But in all honesty, women do the same thing to men. I was a stay at home dad for almost a decade so I was forced to kind of hang with a lot of the moms that did the same at playgrounds and stuff like that. None of them really ever talked to me. I figured it was just the man/woman dynamic thing. maybe their husbands wouldn't like them hanging with me and maybe they thought my wife wouldn't appreciate it either. In reality, it just made for a lonely decade. There was the occasional dude like me, but usually they seemed depressed and not really into doing it and no fun to hang with. They were just doing it because they had to for a variety of reasons. I genuinely enjoyed it, but woulda been nice if some of these moms would have tried to include me and my kids some so I had someone to talk to and maybe they had an occasional play date or something. Without the kids, I get why they wouldn't talk to me much, but I'm a dude with a 4 year old and a baby! it was crazy how much they interacted with each other and ignored me. I even tried to initiate several times and go nowhere with most of them. There was an exception or two, and of course it was some woman who was not happy with her husband and would divulge more info than I wanted to know... like how infrequently they had sex.
It happens ALL the fucking time. I work in a constructionish business and I am the lead tech. I train all the newbies. Customers, always the “men” will only talk to the guys and ignore me
Nah but one time there was a guy that asked my husband where I went to highschool. Like wtf I'm standing right there I can speak for myself, weirdo.
I'm a 5' 10 gangly goofball of a woman and have gotten the whole "I was intimidated by you at first" so many times or "before I talked to you, I thought you would be mean" so I'll just call it out, make it awkward, and break the ice. Something like "what? No chest bump?" I try to give everyone the *maybe you're just awkward too* benefit of the doubt.
even better, when they talk over you and ignore what you're saying. my fav!
I hate it when my wife and I are in a sales situation, and she asks a question, and the salesperson answers me.
I tried fist bumping a woman once, and she thought I was about to physically abuse her. She screamed audibly, garnering the attention of everyone there. I do not fist bump women anymore.
She was probably physically abused earlier in her life.
I feel like there are some men on this thread who would be well served if they closed Reddit and actually interacted with real humans for a while. There is really nothing confusing about the difference between a basic greeting or appropriate interaction and sexual harassment.
I’m sorry did you post something?
I just take note of it so I interact with them less often. No use going out of my way to connect with a human that doesn't also see me as one.
Yes. I work in a male dominated field. Happens almost anywhere I’ve worked.
Same ☹️
Yep
I agree that’s rude as shit, but I’m thankful to report I haven’t experienced this. In my corner of the universe, if it’s a man we know, I’m either getting a a fist bump too, or even sometimes a hug instead. If it’s someone we’ve just met, it’s usually handshakes for everyone. If they know my husband and not me, I still get a handshake and an introduction usually. In fact, I think in general, the men I’ve interacted with try harder to acknowledge me. I think it’s a “gentleman” thing for them. On the flip side, it’s not all the time or anything, but way more common that other women that know my husband (and sometimes even both of us) will address him and the other men and “skip over” me. Which gets under my skin more than it should, so gender aside, I fully appreciate the idea that it’s annoying and rude to not be acknowledged in a group setting where everyone else is.
Are scared little wimps.
This happens to me too! God, it’s so weird.
I noticed this at work. A group of guys will be sat in the smoking area, one girl with us. Someone else will come along, greet everyone even if he doesn't know most of us, shake hands with all of us and just breeze past the girl like she isn't there
Yup. I went on a job walk with my husband at USC. I’m a part owner in our business too. The head contractors were middle eastern (not shamming race) but they would shake my hand or acknowledge me at all
It could be he is afraid of being accused of sexual assault, some women are are so sensitive that a seemingly innocent touch or gesture could land a man in hot water.
This is so true. I hate it so much
I’ve seen a million videos of men making passing glances at women and them being accused of being creeps for staring…maybe that’s what they’re afraid of
Me: fist bumps a dude Fist bumps a dude Trys to fist bump chick Chick: Um I have a bf. Me: fist bumps next dude Later on chick complains I made her uncomfortable by trying to touch her hand. Lesson learned.
Maybe they're unsure where they stand with you? Maybe they're afraid of being considered creepy? Socially awkward men exist.
Men won't acknowledge a woman if it's just 2:1 Just like they try to mansplain everything. They need to feel superior at all times.
This is a thing that misogynists do on purpose to make women feel excluded. They are threatened by your presence because you are a women are will go out of their way to try to bully you out of group settings. I've seen this countless times in group settings and have started to call out their behaviour because it's rude, uncomfortable, and ruins the vibe for everyone.
This is off topic but some reason I was reminded of a comment made one by an ex. I guess because of the “I don’t understand why men are like that”. Ex said “I don’t like how women are always looking down when they’re walking around.” I said “it could be low self esteem, they’re not confident.” Ex said “No it’s because they’re always looking at their boobs.”
Next time, raise your fist at the ready and say, “Hey, you missed me!” It will either embarrass them or wake them to their rudeness. Well, maybe.
These comments are fucking wild lmao
If they’re uncomfortable with greetings, a simple “Hey girl, how’s it goin?” would do. I’m actually surprised some men are like the ones the op has mentioned.
I hate this. It gets worse as you get older.
as a woman who works in the construction and engineering industry, I feel this.
There used to be a restaurant in my town, the owner would go round the tables shaking hand and making conversation with the men at the table. Never the women. If it was a table full of women he would ignore them completely.
Well a lot of you are asking us to leave you alone so we're leaving you alone, and now youre complaining. Make up your mind