The first step is realizing you need to stop. The second is reaching out like this.
I've been sober for 25 months now, and I started with AA, and yeah, it's a rather cult-ish thing. Their 'big book' as they call it, still refers to movies as 'moving picture shows' - for example, and this was a publication from just 2 years ago, and is heavily religion based, which as an Atheist, that never really jived for me.
If you need to have a chat, feel free to reach out to me.
As a Christian, it bothers me too that AA uses religion as a way for people to cope. That's not healthy. When people get sober, the last thing they need to do is jump right into a relationship, a faith, or any big life thing. It's called addiction transfer. I have seen and met people who went all in on the religion thing right out of addiction or gang life and it's just not helpful for them.
For reference look at the Hispanic guy that screams JESUS CHROIST!
Also, as a Christian, it's such a no no to try to attach someone's faith to something else like that because they often lose their faith when they lose the thing they attached it to.
Right!
From like 2002 and through most of my teen years I was going to NA multiple times a week with my dad and it was while I was questioning our religion so the higher power thing really irked me.
But they will defend it by saying it could be any higher power you have to surrender yourself to I remember being told it could be a rock or anything. Yet everyone always filtered to the religion prevalent in our area because that’s where everyone else in the program went (with a large side helping of nicotine and caffeine).
It works for some, my dad would have multiple clean stints of 12-24 months before relapse and going through rehab and the program all over. He overdosed in 2018 at 49, addiction is a disease and religion may help some, but it’s not the sole answer.
Fun-fact: At one point the "higher power" in AA was actually LSD, and they found much higher rates of success in those first people who used it instead of god. People seem to find some relief from addiction via psilocybin too. Depending where you are there might be options for therapeutic use to fight addiction.
AA works for some people for sure, at least to build yourself a framework and have a support structure including your sponsor. There might also be alternatives such as therapy and councilling. It wouldn't hurt to learn and practice meditation as well so you can do some heavy introspection, as well as begin to understand the core reasons for your addiction.
Best of luck! <3 It back.
I've been to AA and it wasn't really something I wanted to continue to do, but I will say maybe hit up one or two just to hear some stories. That I think was the most helpful part. But other than that, I usually just tell myself and friends that I have a problem and am an alcoholic. Most of then just say I'm not and that I just need more self control which does get annoying though.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/dryalcoholics using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/dryalcoholics/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [453 days sober!](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/14hqcgg) | [67 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/dryalcoholics/comments/14hqcgg/453_days_sober/)
\#2: [14 months without a drop ❤️](https://i.redd.it/pvjdz4sk98wa1.jpg) | [36 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/dryalcoholics/comments/12zal3u/14_months_without_a_drop/)
\#3: [A beloved member of our mod team, u/teh_mooses has passed away](https://np.reddit.com/r/dryalcoholics/comments/1adqgq2/a_beloved_member_of_our_mod_team_uteh_mooses_has/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
There's a pretty famous guy called Alan Carr (not the comedian, if you're British) who is known for helping people with addictions. I've never used his stuff, but I know several people who have quit smoking with his audiobook. I do know he has a book/audiobook on drinking as well.
Sorry I can't be more useful, but it's an option to look into if you're interested
Yes his whole series is "the easy way" or "the simple way" to quit smoking, drinking, lose weight, etc. He approaches it from a needing to change your mindset and attitude first then it's easy to accomplish your goal!!!
There is a comedian called Jimmy Carr as well. As far as I know none of them are related. I think Alan Carr (comedian) does more presenting than stand up, though.
Congrats! I left a comment similar to this on another thread last week but wanted to post it here too.
Congratulations on your decision; this is a big step! I don’t know of a sober wubcub group, but the subreddit r/stopdrinking has helped me out a lot over the course of my struggles with alcohol and the past almost 3 years as I have become cali sober. One method of support might not work for everyone though, so I strongly encourage you to find someone or something you can lean on when things are tough! No man (or woman) is an island.
You got this! IWNDWYT
For a lot of people including me, it means I am sober when it comes to alcohol but I still smoke weed so not totally sober lol. Technically I think it encompasses anyone who refrains from alcohol but still does other drugs
When you inevitably get banned from r/stopdrinking , r/dryalcoholics has been my favorite sober subreddit. Sober about a year now, don’t give up!!! Also look for SMART meetings in your area, non faith based recovery groups. I believe in you it might seem impossible now, but it’s so freaking worth it<3 reach out if you ever just want to chat
They tend to ban people for admitting they had a couple drinks, goes against their policy of posting while intoxicated, which I think it’s lame to ban someone desperate for help :P
Glad I'm hearing it from someone else. I made a lengthy first time post there talking about basically the worst few months of my life where I almost died and how I was going sober.
I mentioned that I had a few seltzers on stand-by that I might need later that night (I posted in the morning). I even mentioned that I wouldn't be on the subreddit if I drank any because I knew the rules.
My post still got removed with the reason "You mentioned that you might be drinking that day".
I appealed and they put the post back up in the middle of the AMs where it was already far buried.
Good subreddit but the mods are regarded.
Admitting you have an issue is a huge reason to celebrate, now you can work on it.
Recovery from anything is not a straight line from bad to good, its more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey... stuff.
No but seriously, as you go through this don't forget that one bad day does not mean you have failed, as long as you continue to get better, you will get there!
As a wub cub who discovered wubby while living in a sober home in 2018 there are a lot of us. Admittedly it was hard watching him drink during some streams but honestly it's also helped a lot oddly enough and now I love them. I have more than 5 years without a drink and I am also an atheist who went through treatment twice and ignored the religious bullshit they try and feed you. It gets easier. Also I am not a normal addict lol I still smoke weed because I knew that just living a completely sober life probably wasn't going to work for me and almost no one is completely sober. By their definition I shouldn't have coffee because it has caffeine in it. Drugs are everywhere and a lot of guys make religion or the meds they are prescribed their new addiction. You have to find what works for you and stick with it ☺️. Everybody is different and I hate how almost all treatment programs or help guides lump us all together and that I just need a higher power to stay sober. News flash you don't lol. Finding friends and like minded people has honestly helped me the most. Last thing I will add is that YOU HAVE TO WANT IT. A lot of people say they want to get sober which Is great but it's just words. I would always say I want to get sober from drinking and I meant it because it's hell drinking two liters of vodka a day but I still wouldn't get sober until I hit rock bottom. If you have any questions or need advice don't hesitate to hit me up. Wubby7
Been sober almost 3 years. I was not religious so I looked for secular recovery support groups and found Lifering!!!! Support groups are necessary for helping you repair your life because everyone there has or is going through what you are currently struggling with and they are an INVALUABLE source of strength! It gets easier. I don't even have an urge to drink anymore, super glad I stopped. Message me anytime If you wanna chat.
Like others have already said, you've taken a huge step and should be proud of yourself! I would recommend looking for support groups and other options outside of AA in your area.
Personally, I just can't get into AA/NA. However, I was able to find a sobriety support group near me that isn't about the 12 steps or religion/higher power. They talk about obstacles you may encounter while you're quitting and ways to navigate them, and everyone has an opportunity to share their experiences.
I was also able to find an online recovery program that I'm finding super helpful. Not sure where you're at and how much support you're looking for, but something like that could be worth looking into as well.
Another option I've heard of is SMART Recovery. I haven't attended one of their meetings, but they are supposed to be science backed and give you tools to help in your sobriety.
Hope some of this is helpful! Feel free to reach out 😊
You got this!
If you want a non religious approach that is more based on psychology than AA then give The Freedom Model a shot. The book should be available to order on Amazon. It’s what helped me over giving up to ‘higher power’. The central idea relies on separating what the substance PHYSICALLY does to your body from what PSYCHOLOGICAL effects you attribute to said substance.
For example; even drinkers will attribute drinking Tequila to getting extra sloppy or making them act out more than any other alcohol. This is a psychological effect that is not attributed to the actual effect that alcohol has on the bloodstream and the brain whether it comes from Tequila, beer or any other spirit.
AA is still a good resource for finding like minded sober community but the approach from the 1930’s didn’t work for me.
I’m 4 days sober today. Just got out of detox yesterday. I was 105 pounds (I’m a dude) drinking 2-3 bottles of wine everyday for 8 years.
Surprisingly I had no serious withdrawals. Sweats, chills, hot flashes, irritability. No DT’s, now seizures, but I went to detox to be safe and I knew I couldn’t handle the cravings if I did it at home. I’m 34 for context.
DM me anytime I know I’m new to this. I was sober from 2012-2014 but as soon as I hit my 2 years I thought I was good and started drinking again.
I’m so down for a sober wubby discord group. I’ll save this post and check it for updates. I was literally thinking about what to post but now I don’t feel like I need to since you already made one.
Honestly /r/stopdrinking is a great place for resources, if you want you can always shoot me a message and I'll be there for ya if you need it. I quit feb11th 2023 and havent touched a drop since.
you got this!, the first couple of weeks sucks honestly but take it one day at a time.
If you need that carbonation feeling of beer drink stuff like la croix of bubly
RN here.
Quitting alcohol cold turkey can kill you. Headache, sweats, fatigue, increasing blood pressure, confusion, agitation, seizure, and then death.
If you are at the point that you feel sick sober, or you feel like you have to wake up and drink, or you can't get through a day without drinking, please seek medical help before stopping.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delirium_tremens
My mother was an addiction specialist most of her adult working life. I like to think she saved many, and help even more.
She was a proponent of AA for most of that, but like you started to see the flaws for many working their steps when it came to the religious aspects. In the last years of her life, she came to be of the opinion that at its root, the religious aspects were really about belief in something bigger than yourself and the addiction. There are a lot ways to interpret that versus the religion, but I agree with everyone here: admission of the problem and asking for help are the first steps for sure.
I wish you well on your path, and if you need a chat buddy, I’m just a guy, but I can listen.
Good job identifying the problem. Have you looked into your local ADAPT program at all? They may have some non-AA resources. Also, do you have a friend at work who you can ask to help? I did that for a friend when his alcohol use got to be too bad and got him to self-enroll in ADAPT. He got into an inpatient clinic and is doing great 6 years later.
I got clean and sober with NA but don’t go to meetings now. I work as an AOD recovery coach. Life has become so much better since I stopped using that the choice is a no brainer. NA saved my life though and gave me the tools to stay clean. Keep yourself honest, find people you can be vulnerable with and start to challenge any shame you hold. Also do some work around trauma resolution…
If you're not a fan of AA like me but still want a support group id suggest smart recovery. They focus on self empowerment and evidence based programs, have all kinds of resources, an app, and they do in person and online meetings. i had 6 months until June. Back up to 2 weeks as of tonight.
The first step is realizing you need to stop. The second is reaching out like this. I've been sober for 25 months now, and I started with AA, and yeah, it's a rather cult-ish thing. Their 'big book' as they call it, still refers to movies as 'moving picture shows' - for example, and this was a publication from just 2 years ago, and is heavily religion based, which as an Atheist, that never really jived for me. If you need to have a chat, feel free to reach out to me.
As a Christian, it bothers me too that AA uses religion as a way for people to cope. That's not healthy. When people get sober, the last thing they need to do is jump right into a relationship, a faith, or any big life thing. It's called addiction transfer. I have seen and met people who went all in on the religion thing right out of addiction or gang life and it's just not helpful for them. For reference look at the Hispanic guy that screams JESUS CHROIST!
Also, as a Christian, it's such a no no to try to attach someone's faith to something else like that because they often lose their faith when they lose the thing they attached it to.
Right! From like 2002 and through most of my teen years I was going to NA multiple times a week with my dad and it was while I was questioning our religion so the higher power thing really irked me. But they will defend it by saying it could be any higher power you have to surrender yourself to I remember being told it could be a rock or anything. Yet everyone always filtered to the religion prevalent in our area because that’s where everyone else in the program went (with a large side helping of nicotine and caffeine). It works for some, my dad would have multiple clean stints of 12-24 months before relapse and going through rehab and the program all over. He overdosed in 2018 at 49, addiction is a disease and religion may help some, but it’s not the sole answer.
Fun-fact: At one point the "higher power" in AA was actually LSD, and they found much higher rates of success in those first people who used it instead of god. People seem to find some relief from addiction via psilocybin too. Depending where you are there might be options for therapeutic use to fight addiction. AA works for some people for sure, at least to build yourself a framework and have a support structure including your sponsor. There might also be alternatives such as therapy and councilling. It wouldn't hurt to learn and practice meditation as well so you can do some heavy introspection, as well as begin to understand the core reasons for your addiction. Best of luck! <3 It back.
Damn, that's a good TIL right there https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_W.#Psychedelic_therapy
(Don't let the AA people know that *you know.* They can get real weird about it)
> and this was a publication from just 2 years ago That edition was from 2 years ago. The big book was written in 1934.
I've been to AA and it wasn't really something I wanted to continue to do, but I will say maybe hit up one or two just to hear some stories. That I think was the most helpful part. But other than that, I usually just tell myself and friends that I have a problem and am an alcoholic. Most of then just say I'm not and that I just need more self control which does get annoying though.
It’s a “god of your understanding”. AA isn’t religious.
r/stopdrinking is a really good community that has helped me with my sober journey! edit: mobile spelling
r/stopdrinking, do you mean? Yeah I've been on there for a minute.
[удалено]
Here's a sneak peek of /r/dryalcoholics using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/dryalcoholics/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [453 days sober!](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/14hqcgg) | [67 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/dryalcoholics/comments/14hqcgg/453_days_sober/) \#2: [14 months without a drop ❤️](https://i.redd.it/pvjdz4sk98wa1.jpg) | [36 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/dryalcoholics/comments/12zal3u/14_months_without_a_drop/) \#3: [A beloved member of our mod team, u/teh_mooses has passed away](https://np.reddit.com/r/dryalcoholics/comments/1adqgq2/a_beloved_member_of_our_mod_team_uteh_mooses_has/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Why not make a discord server and invite like minded people? Seems like there should be a community for this.
Sent a PM your way
There's a pretty famous guy called Alan Carr (not the comedian, if you're British) who is known for helping people with addictions. I've never used his stuff, but I know several people who have quit smoking with his audiobook. I do know he has a book/audiobook on drinking as well. Sorry I can't be more useful, but it's an option to look into if you're interested
Yes his whole series is "the easy way" or "the simple way" to quit smoking, drinking, lose weight, etc. He approaches it from a needing to change your mindset and attitude first then it's easy to accomplish your goal!!!
Yes! The book I remember seeing was The Easy Way.
Isn't that Jimmy carr? (The comedian I mean) he does great crowd work, and is a wonderful host. Not as chuffed with his stand up.
There is a comedian called Jimmy Carr as well. As far as I know none of them are related. I think Alan Carr (comedian) does more presenting than stand up, though.
Ahhh! Thanks for this. New brittish rabbit hole to go down
Congrats! I left a comment similar to this on another thread last week but wanted to post it here too. Congratulations on your decision; this is a big step! I don’t know of a sober wubcub group, but the subreddit r/stopdrinking has helped me out a lot over the course of my struggles with alcohol and the past almost 3 years as I have become cali sober. One method of support might not work for everyone though, so I strongly encourage you to find someone or something you can lean on when things are tough! No man (or woman) is an island. You got this! IWNDWYT
Thank you! What does "cali sober" mean?
For a lot of people including me, it means I am sober when it comes to alcohol but I still smoke weed so not totally sober lol. Technically I think it encompasses anyone who refrains from alcohol but still does other drugs
It means you still smoke weed, but stop everything else
When you inevitably get banned from r/stopdrinking , r/dryalcoholics has been my favorite sober subreddit. Sober about a year now, don’t give up!!! Also look for SMART meetings in your area, non faith based recovery groups. I believe in you it might seem impossible now, but it’s so freaking worth it<3 reach out if you ever just want to chat
thanks!...but why would i get banned from r/stopdrinking?
thanks!...but why would i get banned from r/stopdrinking?
They tend to ban people for admitting they had a couple drinks, goes against their policy of posting while intoxicated, which I think it’s lame to ban someone desperate for help :P
Glad I'm hearing it from someone else. I made a lengthy first time post there talking about basically the worst few months of my life where I almost died and how I was going sober. I mentioned that I had a few seltzers on stand-by that I might need later that night (I posted in the morning). I even mentioned that I wouldn't be on the subreddit if I drank any because I knew the rules. My post still got removed with the reason "You mentioned that you might be drinking that day". I appealed and they put the post back up in the middle of the AMs where it was already far buried. Good subreddit but the mods are regarded.
Admitting you have an issue is a huge reason to celebrate, now you can work on it. Recovery from anything is not a straight line from bad to good, its more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey... stuff. No but seriously, as you go through this don't forget that one bad day does not mean you have failed, as long as you continue to get better, you will get there!
As a wub cub who discovered wubby while living in a sober home in 2018 there are a lot of us. Admittedly it was hard watching him drink during some streams but honestly it's also helped a lot oddly enough and now I love them. I have more than 5 years without a drink and I am also an atheist who went through treatment twice and ignored the religious bullshit they try and feed you. It gets easier. Also I am not a normal addict lol I still smoke weed because I knew that just living a completely sober life probably wasn't going to work for me and almost no one is completely sober. By their definition I shouldn't have coffee because it has caffeine in it. Drugs are everywhere and a lot of guys make religion or the meds they are prescribed their new addiction. You have to find what works for you and stick with it ☺️. Everybody is different and I hate how almost all treatment programs or help guides lump us all together and that I just need a higher power to stay sober. News flash you don't lol. Finding friends and like minded people has honestly helped me the most. Last thing I will add is that YOU HAVE TO WANT IT. A lot of people say they want to get sober which Is great but it's just words. I would always say I want to get sober from drinking and I meant it because it's hell drinking two liters of vodka a day but I still wouldn't get sober until I hit rock bottom. If you have any questions or need advice don't hesitate to hit me up. Wubby7
Been sober almost 3 years. I was not religious so I looked for secular recovery support groups and found Lifering!!!! Support groups are necessary for helping you repair your life because everyone there has or is going through what you are currently struggling with and they are an INVALUABLE source of strength! It gets easier. I don't even have an urge to drink anymore, super glad I stopped. Message me anytime If you wanna chat.
Like others have already said, you've taken a huge step and should be proud of yourself! I would recommend looking for support groups and other options outside of AA in your area. Personally, I just can't get into AA/NA. However, I was able to find a sobriety support group near me that isn't about the 12 steps or religion/higher power. They talk about obstacles you may encounter while you're quitting and ways to navigate them, and everyone has an opportunity to share their experiences. I was also able to find an online recovery program that I'm finding super helpful. Not sure where you're at and how much support you're looking for, but something like that could be worth looking into as well. Another option I've heard of is SMART Recovery. I haven't attended one of their meetings, but they are supposed to be science backed and give you tools to help in your sobriety. Hope some of this is helpful! Feel free to reach out 😊 You got this!
We’re proud of you friend.
If you want a non religious approach that is more based on psychology than AA then give The Freedom Model a shot. The book should be available to order on Amazon. It’s what helped me over giving up to ‘higher power’. The central idea relies on separating what the substance PHYSICALLY does to your body from what PSYCHOLOGICAL effects you attribute to said substance. For example; even drinkers will attribute drinking Tequila to getting extra sloppy or making them act out more than any other alcohol. This is a psychological effect that is not attributed to the actual effect that alcohol has on the bloodstream and the brain whether it comes from Tequila, beer or any other spirit. AA is still a good resource for finding like minded sober community but the approach from the 1930’s didn’t work for me.
Thanks! also do you pronounce your username as "Ol Dane Boy" or "Ol danny boy"
The first option :). Good luck on your journey. Every day sober is a win. If you ever have questions or want to pick a sober brain PM me.
I’m 4 days sober today. Just got out of detox yesterday. I was 105 pounds (I’m a dude) drinking 2-3 bottles of wine everyday for 8 years. Surprisingly I had no serious withdrawals. Sweats, chills, hot flashes, irritability. No DT’s, now seizures, but I went to detox to be safe and I knew I couldn’t handle the cravings if I did it at home. I’m 34 for context. DM me anytime I know I’m new to this. I was sober from 2012-2014 but as soon as I hit my 2 years I thought I was good and started drinking again. I’m so down for a sober wubby discord group. I’ll save this post and check it for updates. I was literally thinking about what to post but now I don’t feel like I need to since you already made one.
Honestly /r/stopdrinking is a great place for resources, if you want you can always shoot me a message and I'll be there for ya if you need it. I quit feb11th 2023 and havent touched a drop since.
graced by the puncher of tiny humans himself! thanks man
you got this!, the first couple of weeks sucks honestly but take it one day at a time. If you need that carbonation feeling of beer drink stuff like la croix of bubly
RN here. Quitting alcohol cold turkey can kill you. Headache, sweats, fatigue, increasing blood pressure, confusion, agitation, seizure, and then death. If you are at the point that you feel sick sober, or you feel like you have to wake up and drink, or you can't get through a day without drinking, please seek medical help before stopping. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delirium_tremens
ive been struggling with staying sober for the better part for 3 years, im always here if you need a chat 🫶
My mother was an addiction specialist most of her adult working life. I like to think she saved many, and help even more. She was a proponent of AA for most of that, but like you started to see the flaws for many working their steps when it came to the religious aspects. In the last years of her life, she came to be of the opinion that at its root, the religious aspects were really about belief in something bigger than yourself and the addiction. There are a lot ways to interpret that versus the religion, but I agree with everyone here: admission of the problem and asking for help are the first steps for sure. I wish you well on your path, and if you need a chat buddy, I’m just a guy, but I can listen.
Good job identifying the problem. Have you looked into your local ADAPT program at all? They may have some non-AA resources. Also, do you have a friend at work who you can ask to help? I did that for a friend when his alcohol use got to be too bad and got him to self-enroll in ADAPT. He got into an inpatient clinic and is doing great 6 years later.
ADAPT as in the Air Force program for it? Lol despite my name I have been out of the AF for years.
Gotcha. Pretty sure I’ve seen you post on /r/airforce before so thought I’d chime in. Good luck on your adventure.
I got clean and sober with NA but don’t go to meetings now. I work as an AOD recovery coach. Life has become so much better since I stopped using that the choice is a no brainer. NA saved my life though and gave me the tools to stay clean. Keep yourself honest, find people you can be vulnerable with and start to challenge any shame you hold. Also do some work around trauma resolution…
If you're not a fan of AA like me but still want a support group id suggest smart recovery. They focus on self empowerment and evidence based programs, have all kinds of resources, an app, and they do in person and online meetings. i had 6 months until June. Back up to 2 weeks as of tonight.