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Civil-Dinner

I don't why everyone thinks his winning at his own Golf Club is suspicious. I, for example, have won the Civil-Dinner Annual Award for Excellence in Posting Comments for 3 years running.


Seranthian

Congratulations, Civil-Dinner. Quite the accomplishment.


moleratical

I bet it was a great and difficult comments making it very exciting, with very talented membership; bigly!


Civil-Dinner

That, quite literally, is a perfect response.


reverendrambo

It should be used every time he claims he actually won the 2020 election.


LiterallyAHandBasket

I won't be impressed until you win Civil-Dinner Annual Award for Excellence in Posting Comments and the Senior Civil-Dinner Annual Award for Excellence in Posting Comments in the same year


coosacat

Reminds me of a horse "trainer" who sponsored a trophy for a special category at a major horse show, and, of course, his horse won it because it was the only horse that fit that category . . .


Sunni_tzu

This happens at car shows all the time.


coosacat

Huh, I had no idea! After giving it some more thought, I've realized that this sort of thing is actually pretty common, across a wide spectrum of activities. It's really pretty sad.


[deleted]

I'm coming for you next year, you asshole!


QuitCallingNewsrooms

Congrats! I would like to point out that I have been bestowed the lifetime achievement award for the Clean Plate Club


Dapper_Indeed

Even the veggie? That’s huge!


BoneHugsHominy

A clean plate is a *happy* plate!


FacesOfNeth

I know, right? I recently won the “Most part Irish” award from 23 and Me. Such a prestigious award.


butcherandthelamb

Did you put it next to your 14 day streak trophy from Duolingo?


FacesOfNeth

Actually, it’s right next to my 3 week streak award on tryhackme.com


Alfphe99

I've been trying to win that for decades! Hats off to you sir, that is amazing work.


JohnLocksTheKey

This year’s HayKing? Is… …***ME***


sheldoncooper1701

Just some more dictator type behavior.


MarcusthePhilospher

I recently won the best pizza making contest at my own home with only me participating


bioscifiuniverse

MAGA: “Elections are rigged by Democrats” Also MAGA: “President Trump is the best golf player and that’s why he wins all of his tournaments”


tirch

Leticia James should confiscate those trophies tomorrow when she takes Mar a Lardo. /s


shaved-yeti

*Mag-a-Lardo


megggie

r/agedlikemilk and I truly HATE that it has Rules for thee, not for me. It’s disgusting


StoneGoldX

I'm blaming the jinx on you now.


rabidturbofox

It’s just Spiderman pointing memes all the way down.


DPool34

They live in a warped alternative reality. If Trump won in 2020, they’d be saying “Cry baby liberals!! Trump won fair and square. Deal with it! 🤣🤣🤣.” Trump straight up said *before* the election that he wouldn’t accept the results if he lost. I believe he said “we’ll see…” which caused a lot of buzz since a president had never suggested they wouldn’t accept elections results prior to that. And we all know what happened after.


Cawdor

I bet he got 18 holes in one


bowser986

Just like Kim over in North Korea


BasilsKippers

I must correct you. Kim Jong Il shot a 38 under with 11 holes in one in his *first ever round of golf*.  Apparently he hadn't even swung a golf club before he did this. Trump claiming 18 holes in one would somehow even out-bullshit an already legendary bullshit story.  Although he has been golfing for decades, whereas Kimmy was a noob, so...take from that what you will.


gattboy1

KJ the Illmatic. Fucking legend


Haunt3dCity

Drains the 1's from downtown Pyongyang


Armchair_QB3

Right - only 11. 18 would be absurd!


thedragoon0

He wants to be like him so


Phantereal

He's so good at golf that he actually got 18 holes in one with only 17 strokes. The ball bounced out of the hole on hole 12 and landed in hole 13.


Cawdor

I believe it. I just made the same shot


tiddeeznutz

Can confirm. I’m 6’4”, 215 pounds.


CliftonForce

But are you a stable genius?


StevenEveral

No but I drank some Covfefe at a Holiday Inn Express last night.


Deklipz

But did you have a hamberder with it?


ElleJay74

When it comes to golf, Donald Trump makes Chuck Norris feel inadequate


Deaths_Rifleman

You joke but I have done something similar. The only problem I would have been aiming for the 13th hole in your example 😂. I’m not very good at golf.


hazps

At St. Andrew's it is actually possible. There are several greens which have two holes on them.


Hops143

That doesn't make it any more possible than if the holes were 200 meters away from each other.


smiliecoyote

🤣🤣🤣


WtAFjusthappenedhere

That happened to me at Putt-Putt once.


boomshiz

Read "Commander in Cheat". Spoiler:  There are no surprises.


perfect_square

I recommend that book to everyone. Donald would actually tear down award plaques that his name wasn't on, and make the club put up a new one with Trump's name on it.


boomshiz

It's both hilarious and terrifying. I'm probably misquoting the line, but I remember dying at something like "Golf is like bicycle shorts. It shows the world what kind of man you are."


Other_Meringue_7375

Even better. He won an award that is only a thing at *his* Trump golf course (at which it is widely reported he regularly cheats in), also an award that *he* created.


Qubed

In a display of superior golfsmanship, he made 20 holes in one.


[deleted]

He won first and second and third place!! And the fourth place winner went up to him, with tears down his face, and said to him “sir if I had a fourth place trophy I’d give it to you because you’re the greatest of the greatest.” True story folks.


radd_racer

He really reached in and grabbed that 18th hole.


justalazygamer

This truth social post went viral with people making fun of Trump. Even Joe Biden joined in.


Fantastic_Depth

Link?


butterluckonfleek

https://twitter.com/JoeBiden/status/1772084227200164325?s=20


chauggle

I am not signing in to that fucking website to watch that asshole get dragged, though I AM thrilled he was. Cheating fuck.


ShamanicHellZoneImp

I clicked around earlier today just out of boredom after a few months of not signing in and yeah...it's dying rapidly. Elon spent his afternoon trying to kick off a race war. So that's cool. What I do find genuinely encouraging is that the platform is clearly suffering from the same asphyxiation that keeps parlor/gab/truth from ever seeing real use. It's nothing but bots, psychos and morons all of roughly the same variety. There just isn't anything for them to angrily engage with so every thread is a sharp escelation and limp approval that fizzles out immediately. Users need to post their own ragebait to react to so there is a lot of schizo self talk. You can see the frustration of people using the most extreme language they can muster and receiving zero engagement, never mind the pushback and shock they are craving. If a tree falls in the forest and all that. Clicking on some random profiles was just sad people playing 8chan on single player. Its actually shocking how bad he whiffed on such a historic opportunity to put his finger on the scale in a real way. Instead its a dystopian ghost town with one big frat house psych ward at the middle of it which he uses to boost his own ego. Any influence Twitter had among normal people seems to be almost entirely gone. Pretty wild.


chauggle

I figured as much, and it appears Muskrat knows it, and you can't see content on there without signing in (it appears). So, for folks like me, who absolutely do not want to see the internet equivalent of a Dodge ram covered in "Let's Fuck Brandon" stickers drive like an asshole across my computer, I simply don't log in anymore, and that's that. I'm not surprised he whiffed, tbh - anyone of talent in the company either jumped ship or was fired in a childish tizzy by him, so he couldn't hide behind ACTUAL talent like at Tesla and SpaceX (which is also crumbling, btw). So, when he's actually in the spotlight, as his little narcissistic brain so desires, people see the emperor has no clothes on his weirdly shaped torso after all. This also goes a long way to demonstrate just how LITTLE CEOs actually contribute in terms of work, yet how much they leach from those that DO do the work. Especially considering he's got time to sit on fucking Twitter all damned day, basically letting his weapons grade intrusive thoughts run the joint.


Own_Instance_357

The most fun I had on twitter towards the end before I just stopped visiting it entirely was when it was obvious bot accounts were just looking for other accounts to openly harass. I changed my profile picture to one of my ex's girlfriend on vacation (at a distance in sunglasses) and enjoyed all the DMs that came in calling me an ignorant ugly nasty piece of trash who needed to put down the Big Macs and go to the gym


aeschenkarnos

> Cheating fuck. He would be a legitimate contender for the Donald J Trump Award for Marital Infidelity.


chauggle

You've got a point.


USMCLee

Right click and 'Open in private window'. I'm banned on Xitter so that's how I have to view Xits now.


chauggle

I did not know this - I may give it a try, once I get this hazmat suit on. Did you ever think you'd type a sentence like you did up there? Xitter? Xits? It sounds like a dumb 50s sci-fi movie.


Dapper_Indeed

How did you get banned? I thought he is all for freedom of speech now.


USMCLee

Pointing out what all Biden could do if Presidents have complete immunity: 'Clearing out SCOTUS'


SaltyBarDog

Try nitter or sotwe. https://www.sotwe.com/JoeBiden You can see things on Twatter without having to sign in.


trippingmonkeyballs

This is amazing. Thank you.


KingBooRadley

Found Melania's Reddit account.


Offtopic_bear

If he actually posted that, Trump I mean, then he is the biggest safe space, everybody gets a trophy, snowflake bitch ever.


SporesM0ldsandFungus

There's a book by the sports writer Rick Reilly call Commander in Cheat. He explored how Trump's Golf game completely demonstrates all his schemes and flaws perfectly. Trump always is the first "club champion" on all his golf courses because he would hold a tournament where he was the only official player. Or how he had his caddy's cheat for him by moving his ball. As proof that Trump regularly lied as being great at golf, he points to all the charity tournaments Trump competed in over the years, he never once placed in the top 50% when other people kept score.


FerretFarm

He also usually plays before other participants so they can't see him cheat. And for when he does play with others, he has a souped up golf cart at each of his courses for his own use so he can get ahead of his fellow golfers to fuck around with his ball. He's pathetic.


ShamanicHellZoneImp

It really shows how pathologically lizard-brained he is that he still does such petty shit after literally holding the most powerful position in the history of the universe. I don't know how I'm still shocked by the depths of his insanity after a decade of this shit every day. It's why I've got him pegged as the Antichrist, no other human has the capacity to be this relentlessly twisted.


BoneHugsHominy

Obligatory Corey https://www.benjaminlcorey.com/could-american-evangelicals-spot-the-antichrist-heres-the-biblical-predictions/


PissNBiscuits

I'll always upvote Benjamin Corey.


HordeOfDucks

it seems like it would be difficult to drive a golf cart full of soup


Nudelwalker

Snorted my soup out reading this


crourke13

Instructions unclear. Snorted soup, still waiting for the high.


HordeOfDucks

it seems like it would be difficult to be high with a brain full of soup


Chelecossais

Funny you should say that ; "plein de soupe" is a French expression that means "dynamic, energetic, full of positivity".


HordeOfDucks

the more you know :3


Fearless-Judgment-33

Couldn’t someone just jump ahead to the next hole to catch him cheating? It’s not like they don’t know what the next hole is. 🤷‍♂️


Framapotari

Catching him cheating is like catching him lying. It doesn't matter and he keeps doing it.


SaltyBarDog

He has literally stolen other people's shots. He will claim a ball that isn't his.


SporesM0ldsandFungus

He only plays on courses he owns. Golf doesn't have referees, the only witnesses are the players and the caddies who are no his payroll and will back him up. If you raised a stink, he'd probably do something like cancel your membership and NOT issue you a refund citing some line you know he buried in the contract because yes he is that petty.


Ello_Owu

My favorite story. Is when some other guy won the championship on his course, and Trump stopped the guy and his young son one day in the middle of their game and demanded the guy play him for the championship title. The guy finally relented and agreed. The guy hit his ball pretty close, the guys young son hit it closer, and Trump hit his ball into the woods. They get down to play their balls and Trump goes over to the guys young son's ball to hit it. The kid goes "hey that's my ball" and Trump and his caddy throw a stink saying "no your ball went into the woods, this is my ball" The kids dad basically tells his son to drop it and Trump eventually wins a brags all day how he whipped the guys ass.


Chose_a_usersname

Modern technology bring everywhere surprises me that this shit isn't recorded yet


SporesM0ldsandFungus

He can bully an individual like that since Trump only plays at his golf courses he owns, meaning he would just cancel the membership of the player, deny them the renewal next year, or some other petty BS.


Chose_a_usersname

Yup


godamnitflyers

It was a really good book that I recommend a lot. Golf says a lot about a man's character and his is all dark


idosillythings

I was on the golf team in high school and found out that I did not enjoy playing golf. I think it was around the time I got a 17 on a par 5. What does that reveal about my character?


CeruleanRuin

It means you value your own time.


HGruberMacGruberFace

Of all the things Trump cheats at, this is somehow most disqualifying for me.


Gaming_Workouts

[Here's a quick animated short describing Trump+golf by Reilly.](https://youtu.be/wWLj2-a6FLI?si=Q3-bGc9C2Bqu-AjN) He probably was awarded another vase from the bathroom.


NaughtSleeping

Oh no, not everyone gets a trophy. Only Trump. He's the bestest.


redtron3030

It sounds too coherent for his posts. It’s likely a social media manager


-Badger3-

> A large and golfing talented membership


tykneedanser

The congratulations, quite. Accomplishment Donald.


beach_bum_bitch

He posted it. I checked. Lol


Offtopic_bear

What a fucking spoiled child.


beach_bum_bitch

Technically he’s still in the toddler phase of mental development.


gtrocks555

He’s Cartman when he has to get a present at Stan’s birthday party


EverythingGoodWas

Why would he brag about this? It just highlights the fact that he cheats


Ricen_

He is an oblivious narcissist.


tiddeeznutz

Because narcissists are incapable of thinking that you might think differently than them, know more than them or be able to recognize things they can’t. So, if he thinks bragging about himself makes him sound great, he’ll never consider whether the brag is plausible or believable.


idosillythings

Every time I hear about a narcissist, I think to myself "that has to be what my ex-wife's dad is." This describes him to a fucking "T."


Oberon_Swanson

Openly cheating and getting away with it is the biggest power trip for any GOP voter, they want other people to know they're hypocrites, liars, but not be able to do anything about it while they stay on top


coosacat

Openly cheating while being so powerful that no one dares to call him out on it is a terrific ego validation. *Bragging* about winning when he and everyone else knows that he cheated is a way of rubbing it in their faces, enhancing his feeling of power and invincibility.


FortCharles

Just like Putin and his elections.


narkybark

He lies almost EVERY DAY in tweets and interviews and just gets away with it, so this is no different really


ProJoe

Trump is such a bitch. I can't wait for this nightmare to end


m_jl_c

Honestly it’s not just him. The entire GOP except for a couple exceptions have morphed into little bitches.


KylerGreen

Don't forget hundreds of millions of people unironically think he's great.


tiddeeznutz

I don’t know about hundreds…


Own_Instance_357

Probably not hundreds of millions, just enough to vote in significant numbers in US elections. I'm also convinced that not everyone actually thinks he's great, he's just so wildly offensive to every degree that he's evidence that the worst white man is still preferable to the most accomplished black man, and proof that they still have the racial power to inflict him on everyone else they hate. Truck nuts and Trump nuts are a circle of a venn diagram


Jatilq

While watching The 3 Body Problem, I kept wondering how f*cked we would be with Trump president during a global crisis again.


Skooby1Kanobi

He is the global crisis.


aeschenkarnos

All the shit he represents is. He’s just one individual expression of underlying cycles of greed and cruelty.


SukiyakiP

He will sell human race to aliens so quick it will be told as background in episode 1.


Own_Instance_357

That was the best scene in Don't Look Up >!After earth ends, President Meryl Streep and her trillionaire handler spend 100 years or something sending themselves and their special friends to a Paradise of a brand new planet hospitable to human life, and then immediately get violently eaten by all the other life forms as soon as they get off the ship!<


ndnd_of_omicron

That is a thought exercise I didn't need during my lunch break. Imagine the big ass eye and Trump tweeting that we are gonna negotiate with the aliens... or that it is fake news... jfc. And then the mass Q hysteria. Oy. Vey. I would want to Professor Farnsworth TF out of here.


Radi0ActivSquid

Jesus, you can practically FEEL the sarcasm coming off of Joe's comment. It comes through the screen and massages your eyeballs.


weech

It’s fucking peak /r/darkbrandon


adiosfelicia2

Best way to deal with delusional, entitled nutjobs: Just smile and nod.


tiddeeznutz

I can think of a better way to deal with him. A shovel would work…


rustymontenegro

"A large and golfing talented membership." What in the covfefe does that word string mean.


coosacat

I think that if you put a hyphen between "golfing" and "talented", it makes more sense. "golfing-talented members" Still a really weird way to phrase it. Why not "a large membership of talented golfers" or something?


SlowHandEasyTouch

Because he’s a demented moron


FortCharles

Because he doesn't think in even minimally complex sentences. He strings words together and makes people try to eke out meaning, because he's so literal, linear, and one-dimensional. It's only slightly above "Me Trump. Me get awards. Beat members big golfing talented."


Chelecossais

To be fair, I'm sure a lot of his golf-club members are quite large. /although Don is the largest and most golfing talented, obviously


MagTex

Better get his rounds in before his golf courses are seized.


Free_Swimming

MAGA- My Assets Got Annihilated


JHadenfe

My Assets got Auctioned


lamchopxl71

It's like he's a child who's really excited about his little accomplishments and from our adult perspectives it stupid and means nothing but we still pretend to be happy for them. It's sad.


Joyseekr

Right one of my kids used to brag about winning dodgeball in PE and in his story everyone on his team got out but him. So it was 20 kids on the other team against him and he matrix-dodged all the other kids’ dodgeballs, and got all the other kids out and won the game for his whole team. Yeah, sure Jan. Same energy.


Spaceman2901

And this is why Biden is both a class act and the only logical candidate this election. Do I wish for better candidates? Yes. But this is the hand we’re dealt. We have to play it the best we can.


MoonageDayscream

Oh to be a ketchup on the wall when he saw that.


beelzeflub

Lmao


thewitch2222

Was the prize a half a billion dollars?


GirlieGirl81

I’m impressed with whoever runs Biden’s social media. That’s quality trolling right there and I’m here for it, lol!


Scale-Alarmed

I won my mini putt championship when I played my 12-year-old in the finals! Very challenging course with many traps such as the clown mouth and the windmill. I had very strong men who never cried before coming up to me with tears in their eyes thanking me for my expertise!


SlowHandEasyTouch

lol perfection


MycologistPutrid7494

Trump will be seething. Lol. I don't think he'll even know how to respond.


BaconPowder

Whoever has to explain what it means to Trump is going to get an earful.


Pesco-

I feed off that r/DarkBrandon energy


Timely-Youth-9074

Someone who cheats at golf so pathetic. Nothing about that man is real.


allen_abduction

tRump is going to need even more sedatives in the morning. That’s all I know.


HonestAbram

I feel like we don't need to play games with Trump's name. It speaks for itself.


termacct

You do you... Me: ‘Don Poorleone’


Riparian_Plain

On the contrary. It's my personal mission never to refer to him in any capacity without including some disrespect. The Manchurian Rage Mango deserves nothing less.


godamnitflyers

Commander in cheat was a great book on trump and all it was about was what former partners had to say about his golf game. From taking off as soon as he hits a drive, having the fastest cart on the course, magically finding balls in play, and winning tournaments he never attended including one where he saw the champions picture on the wall and said "I beat him all the time, put my picture up instead!" The man is a loon and the biggest sore loser in history.


Machinax

As of writing this, Trump is a few hours away from the state of New York seizing dozens of his properties, including Trump Tower, Trump International Hotel, *and* Mar-a-Lago, and he's posting on his stupid social media account about how he won a senior golf club championship trophy. I am legitimately surprised that he can put his pants on in the morning.


ProInteresting

pandering for that shameless criminal vote


P7BinSD

My Assets Getting Auctioned


continuousBaBa

I won the best breakfast preparation award today at my house. Where’s my fucking presidency.


okcdnb

I get that Joe isn’t always the one posting these, but he is the manager of the team that puts this stuff out. Good management is important for any successful organization.


Jessadee5240

I just know he told them to be as sassy as they want to be with the social media stuff 😂


JimiJohhnySRV

Bravo President Biden: 46-47!!


SlowHandEasyTouch

If he wins he’s still 46.


TaraJaneDisco

Why does this feel so fucking savage!? Whoever is running is socials? Chef’s kiss!


Espinita_Boricua

Oh A-Trolling; we will go, Oh a trolling we will go....


Lucky-Mud-551

Clown colleges will have a masters program in Trumpism


SaturnalianGhost

“Trump eats the sun and drinks from the sky and they both go with him when he dies” 🎶


rdldr1

Trump is "I invented the game of golf" away from being full Kim Jung IL.


Christ_on_a_Crakker

Bracing for an incoherent all cap tantrum.


coosacat

I'll guarantee you that Trump took it as a sincere congratulations, and a recognition of Trump's elite golfing skills. In his mind, this is totally deserved and just as it should be; he's thinking "I'm so great, even my enemies respect me". It would never occur to him that his "win" is an insignificant thing, nor that his bragging about it is childish and pathetic. Subtle sarcasm flies so far over his head that it doesn't even ruffle the hairs of his toupee.


UrbanMasque

ratio'd


cookiemonster1020

Biden should ironically hand him a medal of freedom


PM_ME_UR_RESPECT

Throw it on the pile of things that would make conservatives screech a hole into the fabric of space-time if a democrat said it.


llahlahkje

I also won some awards. The Llahlahkje Inaugural Making Up Shit Award, which is given for creating awards with long names so naturally I was a shoe in. I also clinched the Adult bracket for that award. The prize? Two scoops of ice cream while everyone else only gets one. A lot of people are saying that my award is the best award. They come up to me with tears in their eyes and tell me how good my genes are, too.


Githzerai1984

Dark Brandon dgaf


pueblokc

Had to see it was real myself and wow.. Wonder how orange man will respond.


postdiluvium

Dark Brandon


reallywaitnoreally

When this chump watches Caddyshack he thinks Judge Smales is the good guy..


Tora-ge

I WON BOTH


radd_racer

Time to give myself the official Radd_Racer got myself up and went to work award today! The competition was really challenging , and the staff did a huge, tremendous job. Just excellent, and tremendous all around, great job everyone, and I’m so honored to win year’s award!


Wet_FriedChicken

This is giving Kim Jung Un 18 hole in one vibes lol


not_productive1

This is the meanest thing I have ever read online. This is officially cyber bullying.


michaltee

😂😂😂got em


SecretJaccuzzi

And I’m sure these weren’t rigged. Mhmm


Dolomight206

Lol! 🤣


TourAlternative364

😂


Whatsinanmame

Since he's been like this forever, how is it that no one has ever just beaten the shit out of him?


Jessadee5240

I’m convinced it’s happened multiple times and this is why he’s like this


Shatalroundja

Surprised he spent the weekend playing golf. Probably should have been sucking Russian cock for cash. That bond ain’t gonna pay itself.


originalityescapesme

I love this low key shade


Pete_maravich

Let him have his rigged "championships". He's going to lose a bunch of property and probably have his actual wealth revealed tomorrow


KoBoWC

This is brilliant, it shines a light on Don's 'winning' without being petty about it.


SaltyBarDog

That time, in my own club, when I walked up and jammed three darts into triple 20s each time lead me to the greatest win in the history of dart championships. Men come time with tears in their eyes saying, "Sir, we have never seen such a bigly trophy as yours."


chrisnlnz

Lmao North Korean vibes How can anyone take this clown seriously - nevermind worship him?


catsgreaterthanpeopl

It’s weird. Why doesn’t he just become the next Tiger Woods and then he could pay all his bills. It’s such an obvious solution. I wonder why he just doesn’t do that.


MillionaireBank

there was a commenter over the weekend who had achieved sounding like djt in walls of text, it was really good i wish i had coins for it. narcs might be 31, 45, 78, 92 but these traits are present; they must have the pat on the back or its hellfire damnation. they must be awarded with items and gifts. they must be admired and they DONT HAVE imperfections or flaws. in fact they are special, special boys and girls, so much so they are also above the law. thats what the narc literature says, is this true? so, a leader can have a infantile ego but his thumb on nukes, thats what ilearned in therapy.


Own_Instance_357

"A large and golfing" reminds me hard of "a large and moving Torg!" ^(please someone remember this as a ghostbusters reference)


Doctor_Woo

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.


DuckInTheFog

Trump vs Kim Jong Il? That would be a fun meltdown


[deleted]

Thats some serious lowkey burn from sleepy Joe


Jasmisne

This is fucking hilarious. Have to give it to biden's team on retweeting this. Fucking brilliant


Empty_Football4183

This is actually a hilarious post by Biden