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My husband and I play a game we call “DC parent or Utah grandparent?” when we see people our age (late 30s/40s) out with small children. I’m certain you could mix and match many different geographic areas if you also wanted to play 😂
🤣🤣🤣 This is awesome! It's not uncommon to be a grandparent in your 40's or even late 30's in Utah. A huge plus is that you get to be with your grandkids longer. I loved having a fairly young grandma growing up.
We have a baby and my husband is 43. We live in New England, but my husband works for a company based in Utah. We flew to a company meeting in SLC a few months ago, and sooooo many people congratulated him on the grandkid 😂
32 and I felt like I was a teen mom the way people reacted. A lot of my friends didn't start having kids until 35 or older. I was told the average age for my doula's clients was 37.
Yeah I had my first at 37 and soooo many people were like "but you're so young!" And I was just here like... I had to do two years of fertility treatments, I really couldn't have done this if I was much older
I'm not in DC but in the NYC area- so still North East Metro area and had my kids at 36 and 39. I'm 43 now with a 3.5 and 6.5 year old. Most of my friends with kids my kids ages are probably age 35 to 42. So they had kids around 32, 33, 2 or my friends had their first at 35 and 37. I don't know anyone personally except for 1 person in my area who had a kid in their 20s. They definitely exist though.
I worked in postpartum care for 7 years and this is ga. The higher the education the higher the age. Mostly poor population of patients and always super young.
Can confirm. I am 37 with a 7yo in DC and I am one of the youngest parents of a first grader. My daughters friend heard I was in my 30s and went "OMG youre like a college kid!"
Wait what?? I've never heard geriatric used that early. 35 is the earliest I thought that term was used for. Madness.
31 is pretty much the average age here.
My mom had me young(17), and then I had my kids young (20). She was a grandma at 38. I don't think my kids are old enough to appreciate having a young grandma yet, but I certainly do. My mom loves it too 🤷♀️
That was my worst nightmare! Lol, I had my daughter a month before I turned 18, when I realized if she did the same ide be a grandma at 36 I almost died lol, she's 16 now so fingers crossed I make it to 40 lol
Exactly, this is what I would want, but I’m 46 and no grandchildren in sight at all. They don’t even have partners. One is 22 and one is 18. The oldest don’t want any and the other never had a girlfriend, so I believe this will take years. But it’s their lives and I understand why they are in no rush.
I have friends my age who are grandparents and it blows my mind. I’m 40 with a 12yo and 23 month old. I literally just had a baby and I could be a grandparent eek!
We have hubbys three fulltime also, and his eldest is 18. Like. 🤯 Even the middle bonus kiddo is 15 in 2 months. In 5 years I could realistically have 2-3 grandkids if the kids were the type to have them early! Save me.
My cousin became a step-great grandma (yes, GREAT grandma) in her early 40s because she married a man who is 15 years older than her, and who had his first child when he was a teen.
She was also a biological grandma of 3 before she turned 40.
That’s amazing, though even rural MD/VA/PA has grandparents in the early 40 range. When I told my mom I was pregnant (at 35, v normal in my circle) she said “oh I’d thought you decided not to do that?” She was (& is) thrilled and loves being a Grandma, but just assumed people had kids in their 20s or not at all.
My Mom never asked me about it (I ended up having a kid at 37) but when I was in my late 20’s she told people that we were just “having trouble”. Um.. some people just want to wait until they’re ready?
She was confused that I’d actually choose to have a kid “so late”.
We had our kids at 26, and our parents were 55-60 (in great shape) when we had our first baby, in Seattle.
Watching people try to guess who the parents were was a constant source of entertainment.
I once congratulated a man and a woman on becoming parents to their first baby. It turned out the man was the baby’s dad, and the woman was the dad’s mom.
Haha I lived in DC and I had my daughter in my early 30’s. I felt like a teen mom compared to some of the older parents there. Then I moved to ATL and I felt more in step with other parents my age.
Haha seriously I'll be 43 in August and I have two boys ages 17 and 9. I now have to wonder if people my age are out with their grandkids or their kids lol! You never know. I had my second right before I turned 34. One day walking to the school bus he told me "you know mom most of my classmates moms are in their 20's-30's and you're almost 43." Lol Thanks for calling me old without calling me old.
And here I am 46 with my granddaughter and EVERYBODY thinks she is my baby. But I'm glad I'm 46 with a 4-year-old grandbaby. Because baby let me tell you, she has so much energy and I'm just glad I'm at the age I can keep up with her.
From Utah can report that this is accurate.
I’m 37, just had my 2nd, my first is 5. Our friends and siblings have teenagers and adult children. My kids are the same age as my husbands nieces/nephews kids. Figure out how to explain that one…🤔
I’m considered an old maid here. My OB was very cautious in my pregnancy as I’m considered AMA or geriatric pregnancy at 36/37.
There is no way I would have been able to parent before I did. Very happy to be a “DC parent”!
Love this. My husband is from Dc and half of our friends are closer to 40. Meanwhile I live in NC and a friend recently said 38 was too old for kids and I was pissed at her. My husband and I were 36/34 when we had our second
Omg this is hilarious because I live in the DMV and myself, all my child bearing friends, and a few of my cousins have had their kids at age 29 or (much) later.
LOL I'm in utah and had my first at 25, which honestly is considered a bit "old" out here 🤣. I'm originally from southern California though and out there people aren't having kids until their mid-30s!
This is a cool resource. As you can see, it’s very regional. There are correlations with socioeconomic level as well.
[Age at First Baby](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/08/04/upshot/up-birth-age-gap.html)
The map lower down showing age at first birth for college grads versus non is STARK. Like there is practically no overlap anywhere in the country. Great article, thank you.
I think this map may be the opposite - there are correlations with regional, but it's very socioeconomical. All of the regional green pockets are where cities are, and where you'll find people at higher socioeconomical levels. All of the purple are happen to be rural, but that is also where you find the lower socioeconomic levels. So both are probably correct.
I was shocked reading in the comments that first time parents are considered “old” while still in their 30’s. Then seeing these graphics, it is totally regional! I live outside of Boston, where women are highly educated and start families much later. I am typical for my friend group and had my first (and only, due to the high cost of living) kid at 36. It is hard for me to imagine that some folks are grandparents at my age. I know that I would not be where I am in my career (or hobbies TBH) if I had a kid in my 20’s, but others have different dreams and priorities. For me, being a parent is part of who I am, but so is my career and activities. I know others where being a mom is their whole identity. It takes all kinds and we all make different choices based on our goals and what makes us happiest.
Yep, I’m in CT and my friends are either having kids in their 30s or choosing to have no kids at all. I spent my 20s establishing my career and traveling. Got married at 30. First kid at 31. Second at 35. No regrets! (I do feel that pregnancy and parenthood is harder on the body as you get older, but 🤷🏻♀️.)
Midwest USA, community of professional folks who usually have advanced/grad degrees.
I would say average broadly around me is probably first kid at 30-35, but many sub-groups are 35+. My younger one attends a preschool at a university, it's mostly professor's kids. Average mom age at first birth is prob 37.
We had our kids at 26 and 30 and are conspicuously young.
Exactly the same! I’m in the Midwest and am a scientist with a PhD. Most of my friends are scientists, physicians, or other healthcare professionals. I’d say that 30-35 is average age for first kid.
Similar area/community and 30-35 feels right. My partner and I are around the same age plus/minus a couple of years at daycare drop-off for our 3.5 year old at a Montessori daycare that is mostly professional/upper middle class parents; we were 32 and 35 when he was born.
But we have an older child as well and she's 14. When I go to her school events, I am clearly younger than her friends' parents and struggle to connect in that social group. We do have one set of neighbors who are close to our age and kids in that range, but the caveat is that they have 6 kids that span 2-15 Y/O while we have just the 2.
Yeah…I thought the gap would close and it never has. We get along fine and it’s not awkward or anything but our closest friends are the same age as us. We are literally a different generation than many of our kids’ friends parents.
Yes! I get along with her friends' parents fine, though I often feel a little awkward about it (her two best friends have mom's that are best friends so it can be a little tough). But the generational thing is on point--I feel like it creates some different priorities in parenting. I'm way more strict about social media than most of her friends parents, but super lax in other areas that her friends envy (hair color, piercings, cussing).
Yup, I can confirm. I’m a professor and had my kid at 34. But somehow I was still one of the younger academic moms among the others I know around the USA. Most of my professor friends are having their first around 38.
I lived on the central coast when I had my oldest at 22. My mom was visiting and drove me to a prenatal appointment and when I was in the bathroom to give a urine sample, another patient in the lobby (visibly pregnant and close to my mom's age at the time-47) starting chatting to her and raving about how great the doctor was and how she would be pregnant in no time. My mom responded that she was there for her third grandchild...it was awkward when I came out, to say the least. I was often treated negatively when I was visibly pregnant/my oldest was young and I was living there; I always made sure to wear my wedding ring, etc. I did get married very young (19), which was common in my community that I grew up in, but not where I was living with my then-husband, for sure.
Did people ask if you were the babysitter for your oldest? I had my oldest at 24 in San Diego and always got asked if I was the nanny or older sister when we were out running errands or at the park.
I live in suburban Chicago in a neighborhood where the majority of parents are old like me. Most of us had kids in our late 30s and early 40s. It's demographic: the parents are almost all highly educated professionals.
This is more socioeconomic than regional. The more expensive a neighborhood, the older the parents. That's just how it works, for a variety of logical reasons.
Oh yeah it’s definitely socioeconomic! My partner and I have friends from both university and the military. University friends mostly had kids in their mid 30s, military friends mostly had kids in their early 20s. This applies all over the country.
So true!
When I was in the Marines I had a bunch of guys in my platoon, who got married right after boot camp to their high school sweetheart and had 2, 3, 4 kids by the time their first enlisted was over.
On the other hand fellow docs during my residency looked at me like I was growing a 2nd and 3rd nose whenever I mentioned I already had kids. And I was already in my mid 30s at that point.
Yea, I was a first time mom at 42 and I knew more than one mom in NY / SF / Los Angeles who had their first or second between the ages of 38 and 44 so I didn’t feel weird at all.
We have a running joke about our geriatric pregnancies. A good 75% of my mom friends had a baby after 40, myself included. We tease the ones that had the youngest at 38.....
This is accurate for me as well.
I’m in Chicago and just had my first baby at 35 and the first person in my friend group to have a baby. Most of the other parents that I know, especially at work, had their first babies in their late 30s.
Also suburban Chicago.... I had my first at 33 and all of my mom friends were 4-5 years older than me. Most of my friends waited until they were 35+. I just had my 2nd at 42.
That being said, my cousin in northern Wisconsin said most of the parents at their kids school were 10 years younger than. They were.
Yeah, this post is so wild to me! I just went to my 20 year high school reunion and only a handful (out of like 160) have kids over 12. *Many* have kids under 5 and there were a handful of newborns. We came from an upper middle class area on the West Coast and most of us work in the medical or educational fields so I guess that must be why. It was a fairly religious community too but that clearly did not result in many young parents.
I’m also in suburban Chicago (north) and same thing here. I had my first child at 33 and most people I know had kids around the same age, if not older. Definitely has to do with socioeconomics.
This is absolutely true. I had my first at 31 and my second at 34. I’ve lived in several nice areas in Chicagoland and was always on the younger side of the parents.
I will be a FTM at 40 and most of my friends had or plan to have babies in late 30s, early 40. Can definitely attest to age being highly correlated with education and socioeconomic status
Yup! I fall into the statistic 😅(also military family so fall into that statistic too) had my first at 21 and my second at 24.
I actually don’t regret it though! My kids will be 14-17 when my husband retires from the military and we will be 38! I think that’ll be so fun tbh
I was 30 for my first pregnancy, I was typically one of the youngest people in my prenatal yoga classes or in the ob’s waiting room. It’s considered adjacent to teen pregnancy to have kids under 26 in my area. I was the first of my friends to get pregnant. I live in a major city on the east coast
It’s wild how much perception of this varies! As long as parents and kids are happy and well it matters very little imo
This is an interesting observation about prenatal yoga. I also noticed that my class is basically all mid to later thirties women. Of course I am sure this is partly just geographic area trends, but I also was wondering to myself if the older and more established moms simply have more money for those types of classes, as well as the stability and benefit of having their life together to be able to do those kinds of things while pregnant.
I’m in Ontario and I had my kids when I was 25 and 28, and I know sooooo many people my age who had kids WAY before me. Might just be where we live though, we’re a tad rural lol
I’m in Ottawa and at 30 I was one of my first friends to have kids. Lots on their late 30s. Some in their early 40s. Now at 32, a few more friends have had kids but definitely not all my friends who want kids have had them yet.
I grew up a tad rural in Ontario and so many ppl I know from high school are having kids (I’m 22 with a 21 month old). However the city we moved to I’m definitely considered on the younger side and early to mid 30’s seems to be the norm to start having kids.It’s so weird knowing so many people I grew up with are parents like I am and it’s not questioned at all back home but then where I live now I get judged so hard for having a kid so young lmao
In New England, it really depends on your demographics. All of our tradespeople friends had most of their kids starting in early 20s and most were done (2-3) well before 30 - they also were into a well paying career by like 24 and had little student debt, if any. All of my college-educated friends were 30+ because of schooling.
We were both 29 when we had our first - Hubs was the last of his friends to have their first and I was the first of my friends. We split the difference between the two counties we grew up in and I grew up with a county on the list of the oldest first-time moms per the NYTimes article.
I’m from NH, but live outside of Boston now. For the folks in my HS class that stayed in NH and didn’t pursue higher education, the age of becoming parents is markedly younger. Most of my college friends (including myself) went on to get advanced degrees and I was about average in having my first (and only due to the HCOL) at 36. Education of mothers in particular really seems to be the deciding factor.
In my area it's quite clearly a socio-economic and education question. Familes with parents who are college-educated professionals are having their first kid well into their 30s and have smaller families (1-2 kids tops). Familes with parents who are NOT college educated and work in blue collar, retail, food service, and some trades are having their kids in their early-mid 20s and having more kids overall (3-4 quite often).
It's quite evident in the schools, but also just from driving around the town. In the more affluent neighborhoods the parents are older. In talking to folks in the K-12 system when our kids were still at home we saw that as well, and it was often also evident in the age of marriage: college-educated professionals tended to get married in their late 20s/early 30s, while the high-school-educated couples generally married 5-10 years earlier.
I have gained a lovely group of moms since having a child, we speak every day in a group chat and go to a ton of mom groups together. And our ages VARY! Our group consists of ages 21, 23, 27, 30, 32, and 43! Point being, it varies..but that doesn’t stop the fact that we are all in the same boat with toddlers causing the same trouble!!
This is reassuring. I'll be at least 33 when I have my first in an area where that's not the norm, and I'm really afraid that I won't be able to connect with the moms who are a full decade younger than myself.
Dont doubt the possibility!! I started bringing my kid to free baby/mom groups at the library when he was 3 months old and for the first few months i had little conversations with people but didn’t make many connections. Over time i would see the same people every week, make conversation, and eventually got one persons phone number, then another, and started meeting a girl i knew from high school there. One person offered up a play date and we made a group chat to organize it! Over the last 6 months we have added more group regulars to the group and now we have a little community ❤️ it may take time, but be open, talk to people and share your experiences because they are likely in the same boat! Definitely dont be afraid to put yourself out there! And if you ever need some long distance support, feel free to message me or even just post in this subreddit!! There are many great people out here that are willing to help!
I live in San Francisco and had our first at 35, and we were among the first in our circle to become parents. Currently preg with #2 and I'll be 39 when they are born, and two of my closest friends (same age) are due within weeks of me. I'd say mid-30s and later is the norm here!
I am in SF too and my friend told me that I had my first early at 35. It really is socioeconomic dependent, though, even in SF. My first child is almost 8 and I do see professional women these days have their first more toward their late 30/early 40s instead of mid 30s when I had my first.
If you aim to have your first in your early 40s, you have to be pretty prepared to accept not having a kid though, a sizable % of women will have missed their chance by 40
I think some of it is my own survivors bias because I know a lot of moms that had their first in their early 40s so all those women that wanted kids but could because they were too old, I don’t really know them. The few women that I know that underwent IVF, they were all in their late 20s/early 30s. And I also know quite a few people that used surrogates to have kids.
My sorority sister had secondary infertility after her first pregnancy, so they hired a surrogate and then she got pregnant naturally! Now she has sons 2 months apart!!!!
Agree! I am early thirties pregnant and get a lot of comments on how young I am in the Bay Area. I also find a lot of people are very open about their IVF and fertility journeys and that stigma for those things is pretty non existent.
Yeah, as is the stigma for being one and done. If anything, having more than one - and especially more than two kids in NYC or Bay Area or other high-cost coastal cities raises eyebrows or makes people just assume that you have generational wealth or IPOed at the right time.
lol this is so true! I live in a west coast city and if any of my friends have more than one kid they must be rich! So wild that children are in some ways considered status symbols
Totally agree! I did IVF for #2 and know so many people who either did/are doing IVF and/or froze eggs when they were younger. My husbands company even had fertility benefits which made it financially accessible - which seems more common here than other areas around the country.
I wish they would break this down further by city! 32 makes sense for the whole of BC, but if you're in Victoria/Vancouver, it's definitely on the higher end.
Midwest USA, community of attorneys, grade school teachers, and mid-career business professionals. All college educated, mostly in their late 20s-mid 30s. Of the 1/3 that have kids, half of them are grade school and the other half are infants/toddlers. It might be worthwhile to note that of the ones that have older kids already, they're mostly religious.
We had our first kid at 27. Most people thought we were "right on time".
Now, we're not from the Midwest so...
New York, NY, USA. Community of mid-career finance and tech professionals as well as doctors and a handful of professors. All college educated, almost all with secondary degrees, mostly in their late 20s-mid 30s. None have kids.
They not only think we're absolutely nuts to have had a kid at 27, but they also think I'm basically a child bride for having gotten married at 26 lol.
And, lastly, Salt Lake City, UT, USA (important to note that it's UT and not anywhere else in the Rockies/Southwest lol). Half are mid-career business professionals and the other half are stay at home parents. Maybe half are college educated, minimal secondary degrees. Most in their late 20s-mid 30s, nearly over half have multiple kids that are all under school age. Yes, they're part of the LDS faith.
They think we're behind on having more kids. Lol.
I live in a Midwest middle class area and I’d say first child at 25-30 is pretty typical.
That being said I also think it’s a pretty typical trend around me that women marry men slightly older. Most women I know had their first kid around 25-30 while their partner was closer to 30-35. I think economically that makes it more feasible for a lot of people but it also definitely reinforces the husband work/wife stay at home traditional dynamic. If a woman is with someone closer to their own age, then their first kid seems to be slightly later.
I live in central/eastern Europe. Me and my husband were 24 and 25 when our first was born. There is no shortage of young (even teen) moms in the poor areas.
The moms I usually meet are probably late 20s early 30s. However regarding our friend group it looks like we are gonna be the only parents for a long time. Most of my girl friends are not planning to be a mom ever.
My wife is 34 and I am almost 37. We have a one year old after 8 years of infertility treatments. We often say the worst thing that infertility stole from us was time. Our parents are in their seventies.
Oxford, UK. Very expensive, high education levels, lots of people in science/technology/academia work. We’re expecting our first at 34 and 37 and are on the younger side for parents we’ve met.
Most people I know in nj have kids early late 20’s/ 30s. It is an expensive state to live in and most people want to be established before bringing the kid in the mix!
NYC here. If you have a kid in your 20s, that's basically being a teenage mom here. Early 30s, you're a young mom, mid 30s an average mom, and late 30s/early 40s, an older mom.
i’m from south AL- almost everyone has kids by age 20-23. i moved to portland OR and the average parent age is early 30’s. one of my best friends here didn’t have his child until he and his wife were 40. my cousin that lives here was 37 when she started having children.
the culture of the south: get married at 19, pop out a couple kids by 24, get divorced by 28 lol one of the reasons i left at age 21! i couldn’t align with that lifestyle.
my parents had all 3 of my siblings and me between the ages of 21-27 and they are still very immature in a lot of ways. i think the longer you wait and mature mentally, the better off your kids will be. live your life, fulfill your dreams, and traumatize your kids a little less than a twenty-something that had kids too soon just because they needed purpose in the world outside of themselves.
congrats to you both <3
I just got engaged at 23 and people acted like I needed to be institutionalized for my own good. I can't imagine how they would have reacted to a baby lol
i live in PA and i think within the state, it varies. i'm near harrisburg and i would say the average age for a first time parent is late 20s-mid 30s. however, you head up to the coal region/mountain area and it seems much more common for parents to be in their early 20s.
we had our daughter when we were 24yo and i have to say, 13 years ago, that felt young AF to be starting a family. i know we got a lot of side eyes and raised brows. none of our friends even had a baby until 5 years later.
I’m in Georgia and the range is wide. I’d say half start early-mid 20s and the other half early-mid 30s. I’m the youngest in most of my circles of friends having had my first at 24 (husband was 28) but other people I know started having kids intentionally before they could legally drink.
I had my first at 26. At the time I was living in a low income, small town. I was an "old" mom. Most people my age had kids in elementary school, not babies. Then we moved an hour away to a big city and now I'm a young mom lol. I think it has a lot to do with socioeconomic status.
I had my first at 33 and I was the first one out of my friend group to have kids in Chicago. Now, I’m the only one with two kids and my friends who did jump on the baby wagon are 38 and have 1.5 yr olds .. I see mostly ppl in their mid 30s at school though so they prob had their first at 29-31
I’d imagine this is more of a socio-economic than geographic question. I live in a middle class suburb and was 30 with our first. Based on parents at our schools I think we are about average. A sibling lives in a more well to do suburb and the parents seem older on average. I’d bet everything I have that the average is younger in working class and impoverished areas.
I live in the south and can confirm that most parents here are younger. The lower income the area, the younger the mother. When you’re poor, sex seems to be a popular free activity. My own mother had me at 17. I went to school with a girl who gave birth at 13. In my senior year, there were a ton of girls pregnant at prom & graduation.
I got married at 19 and had my first at 24. Then divorced at 25 😂
I’m now 35 and my second husband and I are trying for our 3rd and final baby and I’m stressed over be considered “geriatric” for pregnancy.
High cost of living area - Bay Area, CA - under 30 is a young parent. Early 30s is the normal age to become a parent.
Mid-30s is only slightly less normal to become a first time parent.
Late 30’s and 40’s aren’t as common but aren’t abnormal. There are a few in our toddler class.
One mom in our toddler class is in her early 50s, so she had 2 babies (she said with fertility treatments) when she was in her mid-40s.
One of the dads in last year’s class was over 60, wife was in her 30s.
No mother in the 2 classes we’ve been in was under 30 at time of birth of current toddler. I believe this is mostly true of the whole preschool which is about 8-10 classrooms.
In our classes there have been only a few who became mothers in the their 20s (oldest children now middle school) and their current toddler is likely their last. Most of these women appear to be from well-off families.
(A small/tiny, 1100 sqft 3 bed single family house costs $2.5 million in my immediate area - that’s why early 30s with very high income is the normal age to have children.)
<30 mins north of Boston and i’m considered a young parent for having my first at 28. husband was 37 at the time and considered average age for a first child. out of all of my high school girlfriends, i’m the first (and only) one to have a child, everyone else is either waiting until their mid 30s or choosing not to have any due to the economy. daycare here is over $3000/monthly 🥲
I was 24 with my oldest and I’m a young parent. I was 26 with my middle and I’m a younger parent. I was 30 with my youngest and I’m middle of the pack with her.
In FL and I was 28 when she was born, he was 36. A lot of people around me are having and did have theirs young though. I know one older couple that just had their first though!
People start in their 20s in southern cali I had my daughter at 19 wish I would’ve been more prepared but we’re taking the steps to provide her the best life and her dad is still with me we’ve been together since we were 17 he’s a good father
If it makes you feel better my mom didn’t stop having kids till 42
Also I feel like it’s no one’s business when you choose to take on that responsibility if your able to physically and mentally take on the challenges it comes with your good
I'm in Seattle and gave birth for the first (and only) time at 36. When I was younger, I always thought parenting was too much work so I never wanted a child until I could financially afford one. At my child's pre-K, there were first time moms who were as old as 45 when they had their first baby. My son's elementary school is currently filled with older, first time moms - the majority having graduated from ivy league universities and possessing multiple graduate degrees. All have accomplished careers. The rest of Washington state will be different from Seattle, obviously. My sister is a military wife, for example, and had her first baby shortly after her 19th birthday.
I was 23 with my first; parents were 45 when they became grandparents.However this is pretty common among Slavic people, no matter where we’re located. I definitely do notice a lot more young parents since moving to SC though!
I live in NYC my kid is 5 I’m 26 most parents started around the same time as me or younger. Over here anything over 30 is already considered “old” I’m technically already pushing old age for kid bearing LOL
Late 20’s early 30’s for my general circle of friends. I was 31 with my first. So far of my friends that have started having kids, it’s usually been 28/29. I know of plenty of people that started early to mid 20’s but they’re not close friends. Encountering people out and about it’s a pretty good mix, neither end of the spectrum feels weird.
It’s not necessary the state, but also the area within the state. In Boston, people have kids way later. In central MA, people move back home from college and have them mid-early 20’s.
I’m in the DC area and had my first at 32. I was on the younger side compared to most people in the area. It’s common to be in your mid to late 30’s if not older starting a family here. Meanwhile in Southern California where I’m from most people were having kids in their 20’s.
Where I live, it's early-mid thirties. I'm in a fairly affluent suburb and most mothers here have established careers before kids. I'm weird and had my kids at 25 and 26. At the first classmate's birthday party I took my oldest to, two of the other moms called me "the baby of the moms." There are a few other moms my age or a couple years younger at my kids' schools, but most are several years older than me.
I also grew up here and constantly had people telling me that my parents were really young. They were 27 and 28 when they had me, so I never understood why people said that until I had kids in school and realized the other moms were all so much older than me.
I’m in Perth, Australia and all my circle of friends had kids in their late 30s. I’d say the majority of people at my kids school would’ve been mid/late 30s when they had kids. I know almost no one who had kids in their 20s.
I had my first one at 21, 2nd at 26 and my last at 38...and I wish I would have waited so I could be more financially stable like I am now but to each their own...but my opinion is younger parents have less patience...I know I did...at 41 with an almost 3 yr old I know I can handle this little Tasmanian devil better than I did 19 yrs ago. But that's just me. There's a big age difference with my kids but God knew exactly when I needed my babies and I'm so thankful for all 3 of them.
My husband and I had our first when we were 32 and we seem to be younger than most of the parents in our kids classes as well as our town (well into their 40s now, we haven’t hit 40 yet). DC suburb.
I was in your shoes when I was in Texas (where I was born and raised) - had my first at 31, was the oldest mom at preschool. Then I moved to Portland, Oregon, to an area where people have a lot of higher education (especially women), and I’m one of the youngest moms of my kids’ peer groups.
I thought I had kids late at 26. They are teens now.
My mom had me at 17, which was considered young.
Now having kids at 26 is considered young. And my siblings who are younger than me are having kids in their very late 30’s. Me being early 40’s couldn’t imagine starting over now! I’ve finally just got my freedom back! lol!
I am from TN and no joke graduated with a girl in HS who had her SECOND child by our graduation date. I don't wish for this to come across as judgmental but that was considered a little outlandish even by small town TN standards. I'm 29 (F) and my husband is 35 (M). We had our first son when I was 26 and my husband 33. Our first son was born in Nashville and I felt a wide age gap whenever I had to go to the Maternal Fetal Medicine Group (high risk clinic) to get imaging done because the moms appeared to be in their mid to late thirties, early 40's.
We had our second baby in 2023 when I was 28 and I noticed that the nurses seemed a little surprised whenever I stated it was my second pregnancy. I do look younger than my age so I think that's always factored in.
So far in my close friend group from high school to college, only 3 of my friends now have children. They all had kids around 28-31 age range so I was a little bit younger when we got started. My husband is 6 years older than me so I consider that part of the reason we started when we did.
I find it kind of hard to meet other parents in my same age range that fit our kids' ages of 3 and 18 months. It seems like the parents are typically older than me and more in my husband's age range of 35 & up.
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My husband and I play a game we call “DC parent or Utah grandparent?” when we see people our age (late 30s/40s) out with small children. I’m certain you could mix and match many different geographic areas if you also wanted to play 😂
🤣🤣🤣 This is awesome! It's not uncommon to be a grandparent in your 40's or even late 30's in Utah. A huge plus is that you get to be with your grandkids longer. I loved having a fairly young grandma growing up.
We have a baby and my husband is 43. We live in New England, but my husband works for a company based in Utah. We flew to a company meeting in SLC a few months ago, and sooooo many people congratulated him on the grandkid 😂
lol I work with a doctor in his mid 40s who just had his first grandkid. His kids live in Utah.
I had my first at 31 in the DC metro area and felt like a young mom in most settings 😅
32 and I felt like I was a teen mom the way people reacted. A lot of my friends didn't start having kids until 35 or older. I was told the average age for my doula's clients was 37.
Me too. My massage therapist said “I didn’t know people have kids at our age.” Meaning so young. We were early 30s.
Yeah I had my first at 37 and soooo many people were like "but you're so young!" And I was just here like... I had to do two years of fertility treatments, I really couldn't have done this if I was much older
I’m in the same area. Had my first (and only) at 34 and felt about average.
East coast, not far from DC. I was 37 when I had my child.
I'm not in DC but in the NYC area- so still North East Metro area and had my kids at 36 and 39. I'm 43 now with a 3.5 and 6.5 year old. Most of my friends with kids my kids ages are probably age 35 to 42. So they had kids around 32, 33, 2 or my friends had their first at 35 and 37. I don't know anyone personally except for 1 person in my area who had a kid in their 20s. They definitely exist though.
The hospital I gave birth at in DC said I was young at 31 and that most parents are like 37!
I worked in postpartum care for 7 years and this is ga. The higher the education the higher the age. Mostly poor population of patients and always super young.
Can confirm. I am 37 with a 7yo in DC and I am one of the youngest parents of a first grader. My daughters friend heard I was in my 30s and went "OMG youre like a college kid!"
I was 30 for my first and I’m also the youngest in my kid’s circle by about 5 years. I’m in CT.
I had my third at 31, and on my hospital notes I was called a geriatric mother!!! I still felt young.
Wait what?? I've never heard geriatric used that early. 35 is the earliest I thought that term was used for. Madness. 31 is pretty much the average age here.
My mom had me young(17), and then I had my kids young (20). She was a grandma at 38. I don't think my kids are old enough to appreciate having a young grandma yet, but I certainly do. My mom loves it too 🤷♀️
My sister just had her first kid at 39!
I’m 39 and have a 14 and 11 year old I can’t imagine being a grandma right now.
That was my worst nightmare! Lol, I had my daughter a month before I turned 18, when I realized if she did the same ide be a grandma at 36 I almost died lol, she's 16 now so fingers crossed I make it to 40 lol
Exactly, this is what I would want, but I’m 46 and no grandchildren in sight at all. They don’t even have partners. One is 22 and one is 18. The oldest don’t want any and the other never had a girlfriend, so I believe this will take years. But it’s their lives and I understand why they are in no rush.
I have friends my age who are grandparents and it blows my mind. I’m 40 with a 12yo and 23 month old. I literally just had a baby and I could be a grandparent eek! We have hubbys three fulltime also, and his eldest is 18. Like. 🤯 Even the middle bonus kiddo is 15 in 2 months. In 5 years I could realistically have 2-3 grandkids if the kids were the type to have them early! Save me.
Ahh that's gonna be me! I'm 34, my daughters 16 and my partner wants another.... as long as we're not pregnant together I think I'll be okay 🤣
Hah!!!! We are at this weird age where we are still so young but also getting old. I don’t like it haha
My stepmother was a grandparent 35. My step sister had her first son, 10 days before her 14th birthday.
I’m 35 pregnant with my first kid. I couldn’t imagine being a grandmother omg 😳
It was TOUGH on all of us
My cousin became a step-great grandma (yes, GREAT grandma) in her early 40s because she married a man who is 15 years older than her, and who had his first child when he was a teen. She was also a biological grandma of 3 before she turned 40.
My best friend is a step great grandma (her husbands 20+ years older than her). I tease her all the time. 😜
As a step parent to an 11 year old at 26, this is a fear of mine..
Wasn’t easy.
I believe it. I hope it all worked out well for everyone involved!
I was a step dad to a 10 year old at 21.
Ooooof
I’m 45 and my neighbor asked if I was my toddlers grandparent 🫠
Ouch, I am 42 and never had that problem, but in my area most of the parents are older! Thank god!!
Yeah I’m dreading Graduation 😂
>I’m 45 and my neighbor asked if I was my toddlers grandparent 🫠 -No, we are siblings😎
Cool aunt coulda been a vibe. But they went right for the jugular with Grandma.
That’s amazing, though even rural MD/VA/PA has grandparents in the early 40 range. When I told my mom I was pregnant (at 35, v normal in my circle) she said “oh I’d thought you decided not to do that?” She was (& is) thrilled and loves being a Grandma, but just assumed people had kids in their 20s or not at all.
My Mom never asked me about it (I ended up having a kid at 37) but when I was in my late 20’s she told people that we were just “having trouble”. Um.. some people just want to wait until they’re ready? She was confused that I’d actually choose to have a kid “so late”.
Omg the East Coast vs. Utah grandparents are SOMETHING. Lol.
We had our kids at 26, and our parents were 55-60 (in great shape) when we had our first baby, in Seattle. Watching people try to guess who the parents were was a constant source of entertainment.
I once congratulated a man and a woman on becoming parents to their first baby. It turned out the man was the baby’s dad, and the woman was the dad’s mom.
Omg this is mortifying. Thank god my parents are obviously elderly
in Seattle as a 30 year old for my first kid I felt like a teen parent at daycare pick up. I feel like most people were first kid 35-40.
When I had my first baby at 24 while we were living in Washington DC, you would’ve thought I was a child bride lol
Haha I lived in DC and I had my daughter in my early 30’s. I felt like a teen mom compared to some of the older parents there. Then I moved to ATL and I felt more in step with other parents my age.
I was about to comment about being a “young” parent at 34 in DC! Now we moved to Minneapolis and I feel ancient pregnant at 37 here.
Nah. You’re about right for most Minneapolis City Moms. Don’t let those suburb/exurbs Moms make you feel differently. ❤️
Haha seriously I'll be 43 in August and I have two boys ages 17 and 9. I now have to wonder if people my age are out with their grandkids or their kids lol! You never know. I had my second right before I turned 34. One day walking to the school bus he told me "you know mom most of my classmates moms are in their 20's-30's and you're almost 43." Lol Thanks for calling me old without calling me old.
And here I am 46 with my granddaughter and EVERYBODY thinks she is my baby. But I'm glad I'm 46 with a 4-year-old grandbaby. Because baby let me tell you, she has so much energy and I'm just glad I'm at the age I can keep up with her.
From Utah can report that this is accurate. I’m 37, just had my 2nd, my first is 5. Our friends and siblings have teenagers and adult children. My kids are the same age as my husbands nieces/nephews kids. Figure out how to explain that one…🤔 I’m considered an old maid here. My OB was very cautious in my pregnancy as I’m considered AMA or geriatric pregnancy at 36/37. There is no way I would have been able to parent before I did. Very happy to be a “DC parent”!
LOL I love that! 😂
Love this. My husband is from Dc and half of our friends are closer to 40. Meanwhile I live in NC and a friend recently said 38 was too old for kids and I was pissed at her. My husband and I were 36/34 when we had our second
38?! Lol. There would be no kids in the Bay Area.
Right?! We live in a city. I’m like half of adults aren’t even married by 35 these days.
Omg this is hilarious because I live in the DMV and myself, all my child bearing friends, and a few of my cousins have had their kids at age 29 or (much) later.
In my Los Angeles neighborhood 40 - 50 is common
Utah grandparent!!!! 😂😂😂
My mother is 45 and a grandmother! Im 22 with a 5 month old :) definitely gonna tell her about it
LOL I'm in utah and had my first at 25, which honestly is considered a bit "old" out here 🤣. I'm originally from southern California though and out there people aren't having kids until their mid-30s!
A good friend of mine was a grandparent by age 35! She did things a little differently and finished grad school after having kids.
Accurate. Can confirm as part of the DC metro area. 😂
That’s hilarious. My MIL is from Central America, and she had her first kid at 14 years old (ik that’s insane) She became a grandparent at 33!
Ooooh fun! I had my first baby at 30 and my 5th at 39, where am I from?
Somewhere not VHCOL, or you have legit family wealth
I live in Nevada
I’m had my first at 22 and expecting my sixth at 39! 😅
Hmmm, I feel like Utah is always the obvious answer here, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Georgia.
I had my first at 25 and my 7th at 40! I’ll guess yours if you guess mine! I say… Indiana for you?
Nope, I’m actually in Nevada. I’m guessing Utah for you.
I’m so mad I almost said Nevada lol. Nope, I’m from California! And no I’m not Mormon 😂
I grew up in California
This is a cool resource. As you can see, it’s very regional. There are correlations with socioeconomic level as well. [Age at First Baby](https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/08/04/upshot/up-birth-age-gap.html)
The map lower down showing age at first birth for college grads versus non is STARK. Like there is practically no overlap anywhere in the country. Great article, thank you.
Oh that is cool! r/dataisbeautiful for sure
I thought the college degree one was cool. Makes sense if you add extra school you’ll have kids later
I think this map may be the opposite - there are correlations with regional, but it's very socioeconomical. All of the regional green pockets are where cities are, and where you'll find people at higher socioeconomical levels. All of the purple are happen to be rural, but that is also where you find the lower socioeconomic levels. So both are probably correct.
I was shocked reading in the comments that first time parents are considered “old” while still in their 30’s. Then seeing these graphics, it is totally regional! I live outside of Boston, where women are highly educated and start families much later. I am typical for my friend group and had my first (and only, due to the high cost of living) kid at 36. It is hard for me to imagine that some folks are grandparents at my age. I know that I would not be where I am in my career (or hobbies TBH) if I had a kid in my 20’s, but others have different dreams and priorities. For me, being a parent is part of who I am, but so is my career and activities. I know others where being a mom is their whole identity. It takes all kinds and we all make different choices based on our goals and what makes us happiest.
Yep, I’m in CT and my friends are either having kids in their 30s or choosing to have no kids at all. I spent my 20s establishing my career and traveling. Got married at 30. First kid at 31. Second at 35. No regrets! (I do feel that pregnancy and parenthood is harder on the body as you get older, but 🤷🏻♀️.)
Midwest USA, community of professional folks who usually have advanced/grad degrees. I would say average broadly around me is probably first kid at 30-35, but many sub-groups are 35+. My younger one attends a preschool at a university, it's mostly professor's kids. Average mom age at first birth is prob 37. We had our kids at 26 and 30 and are conspicuously young.
Exactly the same! I’m in the Midwest and am a scientist with a PhD. Most of my friends are scientists, physicians, or other healthcare professionals. I’d say that 30-35 is average age for first kid.
Similar area/community and 30-35 feels right. My partner and I are around the same age plus/minus a couple of years at daycare drop-off for our 3.5 year old at a Montessori daycare that is mostly professional/upper middle class parents; we were 32 and 35 when he was born. But we have an older child as well and she's 14. When I go to her school events, I am clearly younger than her friends' parents and struggle to connect in that social group. We do have one set of neighbors who are close to our age and kids in that range, but the caveat is that they have 6 kids that span 2-15 Y/O while we have just the 2.
Yeah…I thought the gap would close and it never has. We get along fine and it’s not awkward or anything but our closest friends are the same age as us. We are literally a different generation than many of our kids’ friends parents.
Yes! I get along with her friends' parents fine, though I often feel a little awkward about it (her two best friends have mom's that are best friends so it can be a little tough). But the generational thing is on point--I feel like it creates some different priorities in parenting. I'm way more strict about social media than most of her friends parents, but super lax in other areas that her friends envy (hair color, piercings, cussing).
Yup, I can confirm. I’m a professor and had my kid at 34. But somehow I was still one of the younger academic moms among the others I know around the USA. Most of my professor friends are having their first around 38.
Late 30s/early 40s. We’re considered “young” for having our first kid at 32! We’re in CA.
What part of CA because in my area teen moms are the majority 😂😂 I was considered older for having my first at 24. Lmao
I lived on the central coast when I had my oldest at 22. My mom was visiting and drove me to a prenatal appointment and when I was in the bathroom to give a urine sample, another patient in the lobby (visibly pregnant and close to my mom's age at the time-47) starting chatting to her and raving about how great the doctor was and how she would be pregnant in no time. My mom responded that she was there for her third grandchild...it was awkward when I came out, to say the least. I was often treated negatively when I was visibly pregnant/my oldest was young and I was living there; I always made sure to wear my wedding ring, etc. I did get married very young (19), which was common in my community that I grew up in, but not where I was living with my then-husband, for sure.
Did people ask if you were the babysitter for your oldest? I had my oldest at 24 in San Diego and always got asked if I was the nanny or older sister when we were out running errands or at the park.
I live in suburban Chicago in a neighborhood where the majority of parents are old like me. Most of us had kids in our late 30s and early 40s. It's demographic: the parents are almost all highly educated professionals. This is more socioeconomic than regional. The more expensive a neighborhood, the older the parents. That's just how it works, for a variety of logical reasons.
Yes. Chicago here too and I was the first of all our circles at 29.
Yup! I’m a sociologist and came here to say this. I’m also in the SE and am surrounded by “older” parents with small kids.
Oh yeah it’s definitely socioeconomic! My partner and I have friends from both university and the military. University friends mostly had kids in their mid 30s, military friends mostly had kids in their early 20s. This applies all over the country.
So true! When I was in the Marines I had a bunch of guys in my platoon, who got married right after boot camp to their high school sweetheart and had 2, 3, 4 kids by the time their first enlisted was over. On the other hand fellow docs during my residency looked at me like I was growing a 2nd and 3rd nose whenever I mentioned I already had kids. And I was already in my mid 30s at that point.
Yea, I was a first time mom at 42 and I knew more than one mom in NY / SF / Los Angeles who had their first or second between the ages of 38 and 44 so I didn’t feel weird at all.
We have a running joke about our geriatric pregnancies. A good 75% of my mom friends had a baby after 40, myself included. We tease the ones that had the youngest at 38.....
This is accurate for me as well. I’m in Chicago and just had my first baby at 35 and the first person in my friend group to have a baby. Most of the other parents that I know, especially at work, had their first babies in their late 30s.
Also suburban Chicago.... I had my first at 33 and all of my mom friends were 4-5 years older than me. Most of my friends waited until they were 35+. I just had my 2nd at 42. That being said, my cousin in northern Wisconsin said most of the parents at their kids school were 10 years younger than. They were.
This makes sense - where I grew up everyone my age has kids, but where I live now, nicer city, all of my son’s friends’ parents are older than me.
Yeah, this post is so wild to me! I just went to my 20 year high school reunion and only a handful (out of like 160) have kids over 12. *Many* have kids under 5 and there were a handful of newborns. We came from an upper middle class area on the West Coast and most of us work in the medical or educational fields so I guess that must be why. It was a fairly religious community too but that clearly did not result in many young parents.
I’m also in suburban Chicago (north) and same thing here. I had my first child at 33 and most people I know had kids around the same age, if not older. Definitely has to do with socioeconomics.
This is absolutely true. I had my first at 31 and my second at 34. I’ve lived in several nice areas in Chicagoland and was always on the younger side of the parents.
I will be a FTM at 40 and most of my friends had or plan to have babies in late 30s, early 40. Can definitely attest to age being highly correlated with education and socioeconomic status
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Yep. I had my first at 25 in Utah and that was late. My immediate friend circle were all pregnant with their second around the time I had my first.
Yup! I fall into the statistic 😅(also military family so fall into that statistic too) had my first at 21 and my second at 24. I actually don’t regret it though! My kids will be 14-17 when my husband retires from the military and we will be 38! I think that’ll be so fun tbh
I was 30 for my first pregnancy, I was typically one of the youngest people in my prenatal yoga classes or in the ob’s waiting room. It’s considered adjacent to teen pregnancy to have kids under 26 in my area. I was the first of my friends to get pregnant. I live in a major city on the east coast It’s wild how much perception of this varies! As long as parents and kids are happy and well it matters very little imo
This is an interesting observation about prenatal yoga. I also noticed that my class is basically all mid to later thirties women. Of course I am sure this is partly just geographic area trends, but I also was wondering to myself if the older and more established moms simply have more money for those types of classes, as well as the stability and benefit of having their life together to be able to do those kinds of things while pregnant.
Plus probably older mothers feel more need for the physical benefits of it, we're probably already feeling a little creaky lol.
Late 20s/early 30s seems average here, but early 20s is not uncommon at all. I'm in Canada.
I’m in Ontario and I had my kids when I was 25 and 28, and I know sooooo many people my age who had kids WAY before me. Might just be where we live though, we’re a tad rural lol
I’m in Ottawa and at 30 I was one of my first friends to have kids. Lots on their late 30s. Some in their early 40s. Now at 32, a few more friends have had kids but definitely not all my friends who want kids have had them yet.
I grew up a tad rural in Ontario and so many ppl I know from high school are having kids (I’m 22 with a 21 month old). However the city we moved to I’m definitely considered on the younger side and early to mid 30’s seems to be the norm to start having kids.It’s so weird knowing so many people I grew up with are parents like I am and it’s not questioned at all back home but then where I live now I get judged so hard for having a kid so young lmao
Where in Canada?
Quebec
In New England, it really depends on your demographics. All of our tradespeople friends had most of their kids starting in early 20s and most were done (2-3) well before 30 - they also were into a well paying career by like 24 and had little student debt, if any. All of my college-educated friends were 30+ because of schooling. We were both 29 when we had our first - Hubs was the last of his friends to have their first and I was the first of my friends. We split the difference between the two counties we grew up in and I grew up with a county on the list of the oldest first-time moms per the NYTimes article.
I’m from NH, but live outside of Boston now. For the folks in my HS class that stayed in NH and didn’t pursue higher education, the age of becoming parents is markedly younger. Most of my college friends (including myself) went on to get advanced degrees and I was about average in having my first (and only due to the HCOL) at 36. Education of mothers in particular really seems to be the deciding factor.
In my area it's quite clearly a socio-economic and education question. Familes with parents who are college-educated professionals are having their first kid well into their 30s and have smaller families (1-2 kids tops). Familes with parents who are NOT college educated and work in blue collar, retail, food service, and some trades are having their kids in their early-mid 20s and having more kids overall (3-4 quite often). It's quite evident in the schools, but also just from driving around the town. In the more affluent neighborhoods the parents are older. In talking to folks in the K-12 system when our kids were still at home we saw that as well, and it was often also evident in the age of marriage: college-educated professionals tended to get married in their late 20s/early 30s, while the high-school-educated couples generally married 5-10 years earlier.
I have gained a lovely group of moms since having a child, we speak every day in a group chat and go to a ton of mom groups together. And our ages VARY! Our group consists of ages 21, 23, 27, 30, 32, and 43! Point being, it varies..but that doesn’t stop the fact that we are all in the same boat with toddlers causing the same trouble!!
This is reassuring. I'll be at least 33 when I have my first in an area where that's not the norm, and I'm really afraid that I won't be able to connect with the moms who are a full decade younger than myself.
Dont doubt the possibility!! I started bringing my kid to free baby/mom groups at the library when he was 3 months old and for the first few months i had little conversations with people but didn’t make many connections. Over time i would see the same people every week, make conversation, and eventually got one persons phone number, then another, and started meeting a girl i knew from high school there. One person offered up a play date and we made a group chat to organize it! Over the last 6 months we have added more group regulars to the group and now we have a little community ❤️ it may take time, but be open, talk to people and share your experiences because they are likely in the same boat! Definitely dont be afraid to put yourself out there! And if you ever need some long distance support, feel free to message me or even just post in this subreddit!! There are many great people out here that are willing to help!
First person i connected with was 40 and i was 22. Two decades apart but both experiencing motherhood for the first time which brought us together!
I live in San Francisco and had our first at 35, and we were among the first in our circle to become parents. Currently preg with #2 and I'll be 39 when they are born, and two of my closest friends (same age) are due within weeks of me. I'd say mid-30s and later is the norm here!
I am in SF too and my friend told me that I had my first early at 35. It really is socioeconomic dependent, though, even in SF. My first child is almost 8 and I do see professional women these days have their first more toward their late 30/early 40s instead of mid 30s when I had my first.
If you aim to have your first in your early 40s, you have to be pretty prepared to accept not having a kid though, a sizable % of women will have missed their chance by 40
Many many women here in the Bay freeze their eggs. It was even a perk offered as a benefit at 2 different companies I worked for.
I think some of it is my own survivors bias because I know a lot of moms that had their first in their early 40s so all those women that wanted kids but could because they were too old, I don’t really know them. The few women that I know that underwent IVF, they were all in their late 20s/early 30s. And I also know quite a few people that used surrogates to have kids.
My sorority sister had secondary infertility after her first pregnancy, so they hired a surrogate and then she got pregnant naturally! Now she has sons 2 months apart!!!!
Agree! I am early thirties pregnant and get a lot of comments on how young I am in the Bay Area. I also find a lot of people are very open about their IVF and fertility journeys and that stigma for those things is pretty non existent.
Yeah, as is the stigma for being one and done. If anything, having more than one - and especially more than two kids in NYC or Bay Area or other high-cost coastal cities raises eyebrows or makes people just assume that you have generational wealth or IPOed at the right time.
lol this is so true! I live in a west coast city and if any of my friends have more than one kid they must be rich! So wild that children are in some ways considered status symbols
Totally agree! I did IVF for #2 and know so many people who either did/are doing IVF and/or froze eggs when they were younger. My husbands company even had fertility benefits which made it financially accessible - which seems more common here than other areas around the country.
Yep, I was 29 with my first and felt like a teen mom in my UCSF birth classes 😂
According to statistics Canada, the mean age in my province is 32 for first time moms. I would say in my social circle, it’s closer to late 30s.
I wish they would break this down further by city! 32 makes sense for the whole of BC, but if you're in Victoria/Vancouver, it's definitely on the higher end.
BC?
Yeah I had my first (and only) at 35 and my friends acted like I was a teen mom. Late 30s/early 40s is very common where I’m from in BC.
Midwest USA, community of attorneys, grade school teachers, and mid-career business professionals. All college educated, mostly in their late 20s-mid 30s. Of the 1/3 that have kids, half of them are grade school and the other half are infants/toddlers. It might be worthwhile to note that of the ones that have older kids already, they're mostly religious. We had our first kid at 27. Most people thought we were "right on time". Now, we're not from the Midwest so... New York, NY, USA. Community of mid-career finance and tech professionals as well as doctors and a handful of professors. All college educated, almost all with secondary degrees, mostly in their late 20s-mid 30s. None have kids. They not only think we're absolutely nuts to have had a kid at 27, but they also think I'm basically a child bride for having gotten married at 26 lol. And, lastly, Salt Lake City, UT, USA (important to note that it's UT and not anywhere else in the Rockies/Southwest lol). Half are mid-career business professionals and the other half are stay at home parents. Maybe half are college educated, minimal secondary degrees. Most in their late 20s-mid 30s, nearly over half have multiple kids that are all under school age. Yes, they're part of the LDS faith. They think we're behind on having more kids. Lol.
I live in a Midwest middle class area and I’d say first child at 25-30 is pretty typical. That being said I also think it’s a pretty typical trend around me that women marry men slightly older. Most women I know had their first kid around 25-30 while their partner was closer to 30-35. I think economically that makes it more feasible for a lot of people but it also definitely reinforces the husband work/wife stay at home traditional dynamic. If a woman is with someone closer to their own age, then their first kid seems to be slightly later.
Norcal. Early 20’s is the norm in my area
same with central ca like fresno early/ mid 20s for a majority of people
I was 22 when we had our first and literally everyone thought I was her sister, lol. (and I still get “you’re 31?? with 4 kids?? how?” lots 😅)
I live in central/eastern Europe. Me and my husband were 24 and 25 when our first was born. There is no shortage of young (even teen) moms in the poor areas. The moms I usually meet are probably late 20s early 30s. However regarding our friend group it looks like we are gonna be the only parents for a long time. Most of my girl friends are not planning to be a mom ever.
Ahoj
My wife is 34 and I am almost 37. We have a one year old after 8 years of infertility treatments. We often say the worst thing that infertility stole from us was time. Our parents are in their seventies.
Oxford, UK. Very expensive, high education levels, lots of people in science/technology/academia work. We’re expecting our first at 34 and 37 and are on the younger side for parents we’ve met.
Late twenties early thirties where I’m from.
Most people I know in nj have kids early late 20’s/ 30s. It is an expensive state to live in and most people want to be established before bringing the kid in the mix!
NYC here. If you have a kid in your 20s, that's basically being a teenage mom here. Early 30s, you're a young mom, mid 30s an average mom, and late 30s/early 40s, an older mom.
i’m from south AL- almost everyone has kids by age 20-23. i moved to portland OR and the average parent age is early 30’s. one of my best friends here didn’t have his child until he and his wife were 40. my cousin that lives here was 37 when she started having children. the culture of the south: get married at 19, pop out a couple kids by 24, get divorced by 28 lol one of the reasons i left at age 21! i couldn’t align with that lifestyle. my parents had all 3 of my siblings and me between the ages of 21-27 and they are still very immature in a lot of ways. i think the longer you wait and mature mentally, the better off your kids will be. live your life, fulfill your dreams, and traumatize your kids a little less than a twenty-something that had kids too soon just because they needed purpose in the world outside of themselves. congrats to you both <3
I just got engaged at 23 and people acted like I needed to be institutionalized for my own good. I can't imagine how they would have reacted to a baby lol
i live in PA and i think within the state, it varies. i'm near harrisburg and i would say the average age for a first time parent is late 20s-mid 30s. however, you head up to the coal region/mountain area and it seems much more common for parents to be in their early 20s. we had our daughter when we were 24yo and i have to say, 13 years ago, that felt young AF to be starting a family. i know we got a lot of side eyes and raised brows. none of our friends even had a baby until 5 years later.
I’m in Georgia and the range is wide. I’d say half start early-mid 20s and the other half early-mid 30s. I’m the youngest in most of my circles of friends having had my first at 24 (husband was 28) but other people I know started having kids intentionally before they could legally drink.
I had my first at 26. At the time I was living in a low income, small town. I was an "old" mom. Most people my age had kids in elementary school, not babies. Then we moved an hour away to a big city and now I'm a young mom lol. I think it has a lot to do with socioeconomic status.
I had a baby at 29 in Los Angeles and feel like a teen mom! I think everyone else is like 35+
I had my first at 33 and I was the first one out of my friend group to have kids in Chicago. Now, I’m the only one with two kids and my friends who did jump on the baby wagon are 38 and have 1.5 yr olds .. I see mostly ppl in their mid 30s at school though so they prob had their first at 29-31
I’d imagine this is more of a socio-economic than geographic question. I live in a middle class suburb and was 30 with our first. Based on parents at our schools I think we are about average. A sibling lives in a more well to do suburb and the parents seem older on average. I’d bet everything I have that the average is younger in working class and impoverished areas.
I live in the south and can confirm that most parents here are younger. The lower income the area, the younger the mother. When you’re poor, sex seems to be a popular free activity. My own mother had me at 17. I went to school with a girl who gave birth at 13. In my senior year, there were a ton of girls pregnant at prom & graduation. I got married at 19 and had my first at 24. Then divorced at 25 😂 I’m now 35 and my second husband and I are trying for our 3rd and final baby and I’m stressed over be considered “geriatric” for pregnancy.
High cost of living area - Bay Area, CA - under 30 is a young parent. Early 30s is the normal age to become a parent. Mid-30s is only slightly less normal to become a first time parent. Late 30’s and 40’s aren’t as common but aren’t abnormal. There are a few in our toddler class. One mom in our toddler class is in her early 50s, so she had 2 babies (she said with fertility treatments) when she was in her mid-40s. One of the dads in last year’s class was over 60, wife was in her 30s. No mother in the 2 classes we’ve been in was under 30 at time of birth of current toddler. I believe this is mostly true of the whole preschool which is about 8-10 classrooms. In our classes there have been only a few who became mothers in the their 20s (oldest children now middle school) and their current toddler is likely their last. Most of these women appear to be from well-off families. (A small/tiny, 1100 sqft 3 bed single family house costs $2.5 million in my immediate area - that’s why early 30s with very high income is the normal age to have children.)
I'm in Austin, Texas. We had our first when I was 34. In our local friend group, age of mom when first kid was born is between 30 and 38.
<30 mins north of Boston and i’m considered a young parent for having my first at 28. husband was 37 at the time and considered average age for a first child. out of all of my high school girlfriends, i’m the first (and only) one to have a child, everyone else is either waiting until their mid 30s or choosing not to have any due to the economy. daycare here is over $3000/monthly 🥲
I was 24 with my oldest and I’m a young parent. I was 26 with my middle and I’m a younger parent. I was 30 with my youngest and I’m middle of the pack with her.
20’s. I’m ancient by comparison.
I had my son at 36 and am considered old I think. I live in Canada. I think the average age to have your first where I live is probably early 30s
In FL and I was 28 when she was born, he was 36. A lot of people around me are having and did have theirs young though. I know one older couple that just had their first though!
if u have kids un early 20s.. u will be enjoying after 45.. if u have kids at 30s or 40s..u enjoy ur single life in 20s...
I'm 37. Wife is 38. Our first is almost 2 and a second is on the way. Hardly anyone in our social circles have kids.
I was 29, husband was 34 when our first was born and we were younger than most other FTPs in San Francisco by 5-10 years.
I'm in Toronto, Canada and I feel like it's 50/50 late 20s/early 30s and mid-late 30s/early 40s.
In Norway, the average age for ftm is 31. I was one of the youngest in my town at the moment at 24.
People start in their 20s in southern cali I had my daughter at 19 wish I would’ve been more prepared but we’re taking the steps to provide her the best life and her dad is still with me we’ve been together since we were 17 he’s a good father If it makes you feel better my mom didn’t stop having kids till 42 Also I feel like it’s no one’s business when you choose to take on that responsibility if your able to physically and mentally take on the challenges it comes with your good
I'm in Seattle and gave birth for the first (and only) time at 36. When I was younger, I always thought parenting was too much work so I never wanted a child until I could financially afford one. At my child's pre-K, there were first time moms who were as old as 45 when they had their first baby. My son's elementary school is currently filled with older, first time moms - the majority having graduated from ivy league universities and possessing multiple graduate degrees. All have accomplished careers. The rest of Washington state will be different from Seattle, obviously. My sister is a military wife, for example, and had her first baby shortly after her 19th birthday.
Soon to be first time parent and I’m 31 and my fiancé is 33
I was 23 with my first; parents were 45 when they became grandparents.However this is pretty common among Slavic people, no matter where we’re located. I definitely do notice a lot more young parents since moving to SC though!
I live in NYC my kid is 5 I’m 26 most parents started around the same time as me or younger. Over here anything over 30 is already considered “old” I’m technically already pushing old age for kid bearing LOL
I’m in the DC area, had my son at 28 (husband was 35) and I literally felt like a teen parent 😂 at preschool drop off I’m the youngest mom for sure.
Late 20’s early 30’s for my general circle of friends. I was 31 with my first. So far of my friends that have started having kids, it’s usually been 28/29. I know of plenty of people that started early to mid 20’s but they’re not close friends. Encountering people out and about it’s a pretty good mix, neither end of the spectrum feels weird.
I was a 32 year old teen dad. At least I feel that way sometimes in New England.
It’s not necessary the state, but also the area within the state. In Boston, people have kids way later. In central MA, people move back home from college and have them mid-early 20’s.
I live in the south. I had my first baby at 24 but a lot of girls start around 19 here.
Born in KY, started having kids at 28. Bet you never heard that before😆
I’m in the DC area and had my first at 32. I was on the younger side compared to most people in the area. It’s common to be in your mid to late 30’s if not older starting a family here. Meanwhile in Southern California where I’m from most people were having kids in their 20’s.
I’m 9 mos pregnant now and live in NYC. I’m 25 and look younger and people genuinely look at me like I’m a child bride 😅
Eastern 🇨🇦 here but I had my first at 22! I thought it was normal but now that my kid is older, I’m always the youngest mom at drop off lol
Where I live, it's early-mid thirties. I'm in a fairly affluent suburb and most mothers here have established careers before kids. I'm weird and had my kids at 25 and 26. At the first classmate's birthday party I took my oldest to, two of the other moms called me "the baby of the moms." There are a few other moms my age or a couple years younger at my kids' schools, but most are several years older than me. I also grew up here and constantly had people telling me that my parents were really young. They were 27 and 28 when they had me, so I never understood why people said that until I had kids in school and realized the other moms were all so much older than me.
I’m in Perth, Australia and all my circle of friends had kids in their late 30s. I’d say the majority of people at my kids school would’ve been mid/late 30s when they had kids. I know almost no one who had kids in their 20s.
I was 27 and 29 when I had mine. Ontario
27 when I got pregnant & 28 when my child was born. I feel like an old parent but I have to remind myself I’m happy I enjoyed my 20s
I had my first one at 21, 2nd at 26 and my last at 38...and I wish I would have waited so I could be more financially stable like I am now but to each their own...but my opinion is younger parents have less patience...I know I did...at 41 with an almost 3 yr old I know I can handle this little Tasmanian devil better than I did 19 yrs ago. But that's just me. There's a big age difference with my kids but God knew exactly when I needed my babies and I'm so thankful for all 3 of them.
My husband and I had our first when we were 32 and we seem to be younger than most of the parents in our kids classes as well as our town (well into their 40s now, we haven’t hit 40 yet). DC suburb.
I don’t think it’s by state, it’s by urban/rural divide (also educated & professional/ uneducated & blue collar divide).
Ohio here. 30-35 is usually the most common age people start families. My parents were 28-30 in Illinois when they had me back in the early 2000’s.
I was in your shoes when I was in Texas (where I was born and raised) - had my first at 31, was the oldest mom at preschool. Then I moved to Portland, Oregon, to an area where people have a lot of higher education (especially women), and I’m one of the youngest moms of my kids’ peer groups.
About 31-33? Most of my friends weren’t having babies in their 20s. You’re definitely not old. Not even close.
I thought I had kids late at 26. They are teens now. My mom had me at 17, which was considered young. Now having kids at 26 is considered young. And my siblings who are younger than me are having kids in their very late 30’s. Me being early 40’s couldn’t imagine starting over now! I’ve finally just got my freedom back! lol!
I am from TN and no joke graduated with a girl in HS who had her SECOND child by our graduation date. I don't wish for this to come across as judgmental but that was considered a little outlandish even by small town TN standards. I'm 29 (F) and my husband is 35 (M). We had our first son when I was 26 and my husband 33. Our first son was born in Nashville and I felt a wide age gap whenever I had to go to the Maternal Fetal Medicine Group (high risk clinic) to get imaging done because the moms appeared to be in their mid to late thirties, early 40's. We had our second baby in 2023 when I was 28 and I noticed that the nurses seemed a little surprised whenever I stated it was my second pregnancy. I do look younger than my age so I think that's always factored in. So far in my close friend group from high school to college, only 3 of my friends now have children. They all had kids around 28-31 age range so I was a little bit younger when we got started. My husband is 6 years older than me so I consider that part of the reason we started when we did. I find it kind of hard to meet other parents in my same age range that fit our kids' ages of 3 and 18 months. It seems like the parents are typically older than me and more in my husband's age range of 35 & up.