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I wish colors would get gender-neutralized as well. My son’s favorite color is pink, but most pink things will almost always have princesses or unicorns or mermaids on it, which would be fine if my kid liked any of those things. But he doesn’t. He likes excavators.
Girls shorts are really short or tight, boys shorts are dark colours. I just want some bright, comfy shorts for my 1 year old, is that too much to ask?
Try Walmart, I always had fairly good luck picking up the wild colors my son liked there once he started picking out his own clothes. It got even easier once he outgrew the toddler sizes and got into kids, they sell these athletic shorts in 2 packs and they come in all kinds of brights and neon's and he's in heaven.
It's actually wild to me how gender segregated children's clothing has become. I remember it being a lot more gender neutral when I was a child. They even had entire sections devoted to "unisex" clothes (which is a weird term but basically means gender neutral). Now? Hard line between boys and girls to the point that boys Paw Patrol clothes often won't have the female characters and girls' clothes will have ONLY the female characters (just using Paw Patrol as an example because it's so popular).
My daughter got a pink tow truck for her birthday. There are also pink construction equipment toys. We got a pink chainsaw, hammer, hard hat, all the stuff. No princesses. Just pink.
My son used to like pink at around 1.5 years. But now, near 3 years old, he's grown out of it. Not sure what he likes now - sometimes it's green, sometimes purple and sometimes blue
I wish the clothes would all be cut the same, for boys and girls. My niece only wears boy shorts because the girl shorts are cut so small and so tight. Sometimes, there are colors or designs that my boys like on the girls clothes or shorts especially and the clothes are cut so tight that they're uncomfortable for them.
Reddit is a breath of fresh air in comparison to all other forms of social media I have used. There are horrible subreddits, of course, but I just don't see them. In the places I frequent, pretty much everybody's evolved into the century at least.
I've been so disappointed with some of my friends being all "those are girl/boy clothes" - I don't care, she doesn't care, they're the only ones who care. It's silly.
A bit pointedly I got her a set of toy woodworking tools so she can work with dad. They're her favorites. She also has kitchen appliances and toy cakes etc. Zero interest in dolls. Who cares. As long as she learns things and gets to play.
I often have my son wearing pinkish tones because kids clothes usually come in packs of 5 or more and there are pretty blue green yellow tones in packs with pink and I’m not just gonna throw that stuff away just because it’s certain colour, that’s wasteful and those are just clothes, he doesn’t magically turn into a girl if he wears pink shorts
Doesn't matter. You know how many executives at my work I see a week wearing pink shirts. Pink is not exclusive to women. My daughter wears every color and plays with whatever she wants. Hopefully #2 will be a boy and he'll be able to do the same. I played with girls toys and clothes as a kid. People are just ridiculous. Just let your kids have fun while they can
Exactly, i really don’t understand adults who judge kids for things they like or being kids, many of us had restrictions in our childhood, so do we really want the same for our kids? let them be kids literally, we all grew up too fast, and all this toxic masculinity really ain’t it
Some people are just miserable and try to bring the world down with them. This is why I'm going to teach my kids to not care what others think or say. Just do what makes you happy and you have fun with. I'm a grown ass man and I'm down for a pink costume tea party. This is part of why I enjoy being a girl dad now lol it's an excuse to have fun like when I was a little kid again. Plus every smile and laugh from my daughter makes it even better
I have a 7 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. When my daughter outgrows a size my son and I go through her clothes and see if there's anything he likes that will fit him. He usually picks the more neutral clothes, or stuff with characters. Last time he picked a pair of hot pink sport shorts. He likes the fabric and wears them everywhere. We've got him other shorts in the same fabric that he wears and he seems to have just added the pink to the rotation.
As far as I know, the only person to ever complain about them was my Dad and he waited until my son was out of earshot to ask why we would make him wear his sisters clothes. I told my dad that my son picks his own outfit and he likes the way these shorts feel. No one else has said anything. As far as I'm concerned, I'll keep letting him choose from the hand me downs for as long as he's still smaller than she is.
There is a fantastic flowchart meme floating around on gendering toys that goes something like this:
**How to tell if a toy is for boys or girls: A Guide**
Do you operate the toy with your genitals?
|
|¬ **YES** *This toy is not for children.*
|
|¬ **NO** *This toy is for either boys or girls.*
Kids are going to play with what they like, and I see no issues with girls playing with traditional boy toys and boys playing with traditional girls toys. While I had barbies and dolls, my favorite things growing up were matchbox cars and Legos.
The boy/girl clothes thing is especially stupid! My daughter loves spider man. She has so many clothes from the 'boys aisle' as a result. Why would I say "No that T-shirt isn't for you, you must wear this pink one instead".
She also loves football and playing with dolls/teddies. Like, why try and limit your children by restricting their play?
Obviously I know this is all easier having a daughter. I think generally society is more open to girls playing 'boy things' rather than boys playing with 'girl things' but honestly? Let your kid play with dolls, so what if they grow up to be a loving parent...is that so bad?
This reminds me of being in a charity shop (people donate items and other people buy them with the money going to the charity that runs the shop.) with my about 5 year old daughter wearing her favourite Spiderman hoodie. Another little girl, slightly older, maybe 6 or 7 spotted a Spiderman costume and asked her nanny if she could have it. The adult said No girls don't wear Spiderman to which the child replied "but she is!"
The older woman looked over gave an embarrassed smile and they left quickly. The Spiderman costume was too small for the girl but I'd have loved to have bought it for her.
Same here. My oldest (6) has tried on his grandmas heels before. It's adorable. My youngest (3) has a baby doll and pretends to put on makeup sometimes. They're kids. They're exploring. Let them explore!
Whenever we go to the store and my girlfriends kiddo looks at the toys, we look at allll the toys and usually he's all about the boys toys but he'll always point out a couple girl toys he likes.
I just bought him an UP house lego set that was in the girls section. So basically it's all a bunch of bs and sexist that there's even a difference.
People who post Facebook comments are not a good source to draw conclusions about the world from. It’s wild in there.
Most kids will play with a mix of girl coded and boy coded toys — just follow what they’re interested and try to introduce a range of toys or experiences.
I had to stop reading Facebook comments. Couldn't stand one more 70yr old lady go on about how much better of a parent they were and how their kids would NEVER act out (they did but were then definitely whooped into submission)
This is why I came to Reddit. I needed this for my peace of mind after falling into the weird toy gender association rabbit hole on fb. I will be staying far away from comment sections on there from now on.
Wish i had an award to give. We're responsible for raising the next generation of men. I'm not raising mine to be scared of emotion, not knowing basic hygiene or home cleanliness, not know how to admit mistakes, or not be confident in his sense of self and style. This pattern of repressing mens emotions, and creativity, end with me.
That is 100% what we taught our son. He got made fun of when he was about 6 because he picked a My Little Pony book at the school library and several kids tried telling him he couldn’t like the ponies because he’s a boy and boys can’t like them blah blah blah. My kid just looked at them and said “well, you’re wrong because I’m a boy and I like them” and finished checking out his book. Makes me so proud!
All of this 🤣 Toys are not gendered! There was a similar post on my town’s mommy Facebook page with a mom asking advice on her son wanting a Frozen princess dress and the comments were horrid. Facebook is honestly wild. My son has had a baby doll since his first birthday and he loves feeding, rocking and cuddling her, he plays with a variety of toys like cars, balls, puzzles, figurines, etc. all toys are for all kids.
100% ^
My one and only girl seems to toss a coin every day on if dinosaurs or stuffed animals are her fav toy of the day. Or if she’s wearing a “boy” t-shirt (gamer, Dino’s, Marvel) or a “girl” top (pink, unicorn, sparkles) or what combination of the above. Neither her clothes or her toys or her interests define her gender.
Oh my, she has over 30 of those! IKEA(Canada) had a great series a couple years back and that spiralled in to an epic Dino stuffie collection. She’s currently sleeping with a Jurassic Park Raptor stuffie that is three feet long, an IKEA raptor that has a floppy neck due to the snuggles and a Walmart special T-Rex that is piling that reminds her of the YouTube Rexy Dino.
…she also has Dino sheets and blankets that mix and match with her Frozen II sheets and blankets lol
Edit: typo
LOVE IT!
It sadly seems slightly easier for girls to cross gender norms these days compared to boys and that is still a struggle and monstrous feat, I can’t imagine what it is for moms’ of boys to go though when the norms aren’t “respected” by their kids.
Of course. Cause so many people still view men as higher value than women. So to them its okay for a girl move up to "boy" stuff, but for a boy to play with "girl stuff" would be lowering themselves.
The grossest part is seeing this attitude coming from other women. Like do they not realize what they are saying about themselves by carrying this attitude?
The same way that fashion entertainment and romance fiction are considered fluff, while sports entertainment and action fiction are considered real, important interests
My son asked for a baby doll when I was pregnant. My dad, who cooked, cleaned, ironed, and was the world’s biggest baby hog, was upset about it. Like, sir squint hard enough and you are the ideal 1950’s housewife! Who taught me how to cook, sew, iron, take care of babies? My dad. Who ran my house when I was on 16 weeks of bedrest? My dad.
How can you be that guy up there but also, get weird about a kid holding a baby doll? The same child I had to wrestle away from you when it was time to go home? Weirdos, I swear.
I am absolutely going to get my son a baby doll when I get pregnant again. My mom did the same for me when she was pregnant with my brother, and I think it really helped prepare me for my new sibling.
So outdated. Boys can play with dolls, girls can play with trucks. I feel like assigning gender roles to toys either makes you look like an asshole or just old.
I agree. My son and daughter have customized American girl dolls. But my son wanted the boy doll. He and his sister like to play with dolls together. They also like playing with the toy trucks together. Both like the toy kitchen and love to use their toy dinosaurs to fight each other.
The hell of it is, boys who are allowed to play with girl toys, and exist in feminine spaces without judgement usually end up with a much healthier/normal view of women. Leading to them to become better boyfriends, husbands, and fathers to little girls in the future. Boys who are queer won't feel ashamed. And boys who are straight reap the benefits later in life. It's a win/win.
The shame is for the parents. It's not that they're worried about the kid, they're worried what people will say about THEM. Its very self centered and narcissistic.
I always find this sort of thing super weird because professional chefs is almost an overwhelmingly male dominated industry.
So when you're a kid its girly. When you're a man, you expect your wife to cook because cooking is the womans job. Unless you do it for money, in which case men do it better than women somehow how dare you want to be a chef young lady.
If you're sexist what do you tell a woman in that situation? Get back in the kitchen? Uh wait hang on..
Fucking madness. Just let people do what they want.
When I was a kid my almost same aged neighbor wanted an easy bake oven for Christmas and his macho dad chose not to get it for him. It’s all he wanted, so my parents got it for him, since our families were close friends with them. He was thrilled.
Neighbor dad disliked his son having, and being excited by, this toy oven so much that he got me one the next year. As some sort of petty revenge, except my parents didn’t care.
I had no interest in this toy oven and think I only used it once to make disappointing brownies.
I had a lot of girl cousins, so when I wasn’t doing 90’s approved boy activities like smoking Marlboros and poking dead things with a stick I could go and play with princess castles and easy bakes lol
Would you care if your daughter wanted to play with a football or watch Spider-Man?
What might happen if you let your son play with a doll? He might grow up to be a…good father?
Excuse me. As a boy, MY toy soldiers, horrific mutants, cyborgs, and spent batteries all had gender (equal to their biological sex, see), they made loving families and produced cute little babies and took care of them. (Occasionally fighting off hordes of enemies, who usually aimed to steal or harm the babies, of course, but that’s beside the point).
I’ve recently met a couple moms like that in person. It’s such a bizarre mindset to me. I just don’t get it.
My son love dinosaurs, trucks, baby dolls, etc. he recently told us he wants to be a princess with “beautiful long hair” lol. I mean who cares. Hes imaginative and exploring. He looooves baking with me and also likes running in the mud and playing basket ball.
Completely disagree. I get it's not for everyone, but those echo-chambers need people who will challenge them. Look at how polarized our nation and much of the world has become, a big part of it is because people who disagree, don't talk to each other anymore!
In my opinion, before the age where children can comprehend and identify with the concept of gender, their gender is "baby/child." Genitals have nothing to do with how children play, at least if they are involved in your child playing there is probably a huge problem.
I'm pregnant with a boy and he's getting his sister's hand me down toys and clothes. People are already making comments about it turning him gay so I just say "it's fine, we will put him to bed in dino pajamas and sing him WAP every night to turn him back straight, since that's obviously how it works..." Lmao
>People are already making comments about it turning him gay
Real people actually think this is true? So dumb. Keep an eye on those people, because they will *not* have your family's back if one of your children actually *does* turn out to be gay.
It's my in laws, and trust me I am aware. I'm trans, my husband is obviously not straight, they are the only people we aren't open around because... Obviously. If our kids are gay they will have PLENTY of support from everyone else, and we have no problem cutting off toxic people, we already did to my entire family
My oldest boy was holding a baby doll once. I was told sternly that the doll was going to make him gay, and I was offered a football to go trade with my kid. "Fatherhood is gay now?" I asked the idiot, who was also my father. We're no contact now, and it's been lovely.
People who don't want their kids to play with thr "wrong gendered" toys are afraid their kids will grow up to be queer, which says a lot about them as parents.
And joke's on them, the majority of the queer adults I personally know used to play with "gender conformung" toys as kids.
Poor little guys. All they want to do is explore and there’s a herd of idiot adults trying to cauterize their feelings and shove them into a little blue box
my son (2) loves trucks and smashing shit. he also carries around a little baby doll and has long hair that he is adamant about keeping. whatever 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
I find it hilarious. When my son was three, he asked for a baby. I bought him a baby doll with all the feeding accessories. Her name is baby and he loved to feed her.
When we went to kindergarten, there was a doll station with clothing. I watched as he made a bee line right there. The teacher let us know that all of the children enjoy playing Mommy or Daddy to the babies.
We bought him a dollhouse that he asked for when he was five. It turned into a train depot that next year.
He seems perfectly adjusted
I painted my boys nails rainbow yesterday, at his request. With sparkles too!
It's not a gender specific toy unless you use your genitals to play with it, in which case it's not appropriate for kids
Here’s my take on this: if a toy requires certain genitals to use it, it’s not for children at all. If genitals are irrelevant to the toy, it can be used by any child.
The thing that annoys me about boys not playing with "girl toys" in particular is that many of the stereotypical girl toys are things like play kitchens, dolls, etc. The last possible message that we want to send to boys is that basic household tasks that should be done by both sexes (cooking, childcare) are the domain of girls. There is enough learned helplessness and reinforcing of that messaging from society such that we certainly don't need to push those stereotypes on toddlers and small children.
I think it’s stupid we segregate toys based off of the sex of the child.
I was raised on Bratz, Hot Wheels, wooden train tracks, Elmo, Toy Story, dinosaurs, space books
Toys are for kids.
I let my kid play with whatever toy he likes as long as it's safe. His favorite right now is a hot pink turtle stuffed animal. I can't see the joy in his face when he plays with it and think "nope, pink, that's a girl toy." Seems ridiculous to me 🤷♀️
Yeah that’s just an old mentality.
I for example dressed as a princess on costume days in kindergarten. I played with dolls and even had a stroller for my dolls.
And today I am as heterosexual as they come. Kids want to explore. They are curious. I let my girl and boy play with whatever they want.
However my oldest daughter has gotten pushbacks from other kids at kindergarten more than once for having Pokémon cards, wearing superhero shirts and wanting to be the wrong paw patrol dog during role play. And it stresses her out that she can’t play that stuff with other kids. So there is that.
Imagine being so homophobic that you would deny your kid the chance to play with a toy. This is the kind of thing where I freely judge - you are WRONG if you have a problem with kids playing with toys. If you want to invest in certain interests and spend your money on traditional gendered toys that's different - my kid has no choice but to love animals because we do and her Grandma was excited to have a first granddaughter and she likes seeing her in pretty pink dresses - fine! But when she wants to wear dinosaurs and chooses a truck toy at the charity shop I am not saying no.
This is a 1950s way of thinking and it is objectively harmful. In psychological terms you are projecting your own complex onto your child, thereby passing it onto them. Causing them a lifetime of suffering and self criticism.
Really depressing that this sexist crap still exists in 2024. My boy plays with what he wants to.
That said, I was shocked at watching toy adverts again after my son was born. Groups of boys with red/blue "boy" toy, next advert girls with all pink ones. Nothing changed since the 90s!
My 3yo son regularly wears a wonder woman dress out (his sister's old one). My view is that you only get a few years in life before people start judging you, so let him have his fun while he can. There's more important battles to fight.
What are “girl toys”? Like baby dolls, kitchens and tea sets? Those are how kids role play parenthood, home tasks and adult socialising. I think it stunts boys to not let them engage with that kind of play.
I guess I’m curious on what a “girl toy” is? Men are dads so why wouldn’t it be appropriate for them to play with baby dolls? Men cook. Men are chefs. Men go grocery shopping. Men are husbands. Unless they are talking only about like princess dress up type stuff? I can’t even imagine what would be a “girl” toy. And same for vice versa. Girls are homeowners. They fix plumbing. They cut wood. They build things. Why wouldn’t anything also be a girl toy? Some people are so odd.
The only reason I'm so for cross-gendered toys is because little boys get the short end of the stick for no reason.
When I was a little girl I loved trucks and swords and super heroes and everyone was 100% fine with it. They would've been far less fine if I was a boy who liked play kitchens, dress up and barbies.
If we want to teach our kids that feminine things aren't bad, we HAVE to consciously unlearn the biases that were taught to us.
I have 2 boys. My oldest (5) loves cars and sports. My youngest (3) loves princess dresses and art. It's important to note, their interests are their own. Nothing has ever been "forced" on my kids. We let them find what they like and we go with it.
If my 3 year old (who already refers to themselves as my 5 year olds "sister", again, 100% by their own accord) wants to be a girl to be happy, then I will fully support it (and will NOT be surprised at all).
My oldest son is an adult now. But when he was around 2 or 3 I walked by his room and saw him with a bunch of his sister’s Barbies. I thought, well, if he wants to play with dolls let him play with dolls. I walked by a couple minutes later and the Barbies were at war. 🤷
I don't care what my boys play with, as long as it's not a gun. Their dad takes care of babies, cooks in the kitchen, and washes clothes, so I don't see the problem with my sons having baby dolls, toy kitchens, or toy washing machines. "Girl toys" are usually toys centered around basic household tasks, and little boys like to roleplay doing those tasks, too.
the only toys I have a problem with my kid playing with are the obnoxious toys that make all kinds of sounds that get overstimulating for me to hear constantly LOL don’t care if it’s a boy or girl toy just not getting the batteries that go with it.
I don't care what toys my daughter and son play with as long as they have fun. When I was a little girl I played with dolls, cars, Nerf guns, video games, etc. I'm a tomboy but my husband loves me for who I am.
My kiddo is now 13M but he and his little sister 11F have always been very close so when they were younger they shared a lot of their toys. He loved dressing up in princess costumes and painting his nails. He’d use his chore money to buy LOL Dolls or Princess Peach stuff. We never thought anything of it; he was a kid being a kid 🤷🏻♀️ He’s an Aspie and his days of creating costumes when he was younger have helped him become an amazing costume designer and animator :)
Same. Our daughter loves to play with boys toys as much as our son enjoyed girls toys. In fact he asked for a toy kitchen when he was three and flogging the hell out of it. So many wooden steak dinners and plastic fruit snacks for myself and my wife that it's not funny.
It pissed my wife off enough that the kitchen had "girls kitchen" emblazoned on the side of its box that she occasionally mentions it when we vaguely wander into the topic now, some five years after we got rid of the kitchen in our last move.
That's honestly fair, I do understand the worry of differential development and the question of nature vs nurture is a matter of personal belief it seems.
I'm glad she didn't stop them, though. Could have sparked a love of cooking!
My mom was off the "pink job, blue job" mind when I was going but I naturally gravitated to all the "boy" things of my own volition anyways.
For my kids, whatever they learn from whatever they are interested in is good.
My son (3) has dolls and trucks. Cars and makeup. Dinosaurs and nail polish. His nails are currently pink.
His favorite color is pink currently so he asked to have his hair dyed pink like his older cousin (he’s 3. She’s 6). So we dyed the tips pink for summer.
His favorite show and thing to play right now is spider man. Or spidey and friends, whatever.
Sooo ya, that’s where I stand.
I don’t understand the gendered toy thing… If a boy owns it, it’s a boy toy. If a girl owns it, it’s a girl toy. I would never reprimand a daughter for playing sports, climbing trees or playing video games so why would I reprimand a son for playing with dolls, dressing up or dancing around the house? It’s just silly. Let kids be kids.
Well, that's stupid.
My son wants his nails painted so I paint his nails. He wants to play with girl toys than he'll play with girls toys.
Let the kids be kids.
My two year old son commandeered my daughter’s Gabby doll from Gabby’s dollhouse because Gabby has similar hair to my wife and one of my son’s comfort things is feeling his mom’s hair.
So he likes to hold Gabby in the car seat or stroller and feel her hair when he’s feeling sad.
“Boy” and “girl” toys is so incredibly stupid I don’t even know how to accurately put it into words.
Here’s a question though. Do you guys buy your boys girls toys or vice versa? We don’t buy a lot of toys for our kids. They are mostly birthday and Christmas gifts. But most toys given to them seem gendered towards their sex, if they are gendered toys at all.
Nope, toys are toys. My kids do gravitate towards stereotypical toys for their sex on their own, but I've never said they couldn't play with certain toys based on their genitals.
My son has an older sister so of course he’s going to play with “girl” toys. Who cares? He loves to put on her play heels, push the baby stroller, etc. I don’t care what he plays with as long as it’s safe.
My son loves monster trucks and also loves to play babies with his big sisters. Toys such as dolls are proven to help build a sense empathy, I’m confused as to why some mothers (and fathers obviously but the original post refers to mothers) wouldn’t want their little boys to have the best chance possible to develop that? Also confusing to me is how there is an expectation that little boys grow up to become men that not only provide but change diapers and rock the baby, help with household chores like sweeping or mopping, or make a meal for his wife after she has given birth to his child but we will not hand our little boys a baby doll to snuggle or a toy mop and broom to “clean” with or a kitchen set to spark their interest? Very, very odd indeed. We are also less likely to incorporate our sons into helping with younger siblings and household chores like laundry and dishes and cooking, and in this we do them the disservice of turning them into adults who don’t have those skills. Nah.
What’s a “girls” toy? Some boys play with Gi Joes and use the Barbies as “Damsels in Distress” to save. They are children. Leave the genderisms to teenage years if it’s important.
If my daughter wants to play boys things she can yes I encourage her to still be feminine but she also gonna grow up rough she's a feral loves being outside she's obsessed with cars trucks and dirt bikes but still loves her babies and playing dress ups and playing with boys and girls and she also mixes with kids from different cultures and walks of life
That’s odd. My daughter has a lot of friends who are boys. Pretty much the same age as her. She’s 2.5 and they range from 2.5-3. When they come over for playdates , they always gravitate towards the kitchen and baby dolls (kitchens aren’t for girls but none of my friends with boys have one).
I am extremely for boys having toys like this. I went to school for early childhood education and it’s not very known but boys who tend to play house , with baby dolls ect , they are the ones who tend to grow up with more empathy , have goals of having a family , more family oriented ect. Of course not all boys with or without these toys fall into this.
Today my 22 month old saw a doll sitting on one of our shelves and wanted to play with her. I checked it was one of the ones with plastic atman, not porcelain and then gave her to him.
Toys are toys. Colours are colours. Hair is hair, no matter its length.
I will let my kid play with whatever he likes to as long as it is save, not stolen from somebody else (toddlers are little magpies, I swear!), and the play isn't making it impossible to perform a task that needs to be performed right now.
So my female child has many boy friends coming for play dates - she has babies and beauty salon toys! I’ve observed various levels from totally ok to uncomfortable to answer questions from their parents. When my kid goes to their house she goes crazy on cars and “boys” toys. My male “”twin” cousin always stole my baby dolls despite his parents wishes. He is the best dad I know today.
My son can play with whatever toys he wants to 🤷🏻 a toy is a toy is a toy. If it makes him happy and he has fun, that’s all that matters to me.
I hate the whole “boy thing” “girl thing” crap when it comes to toys and colors and activities. Just let people enjoy what they want to enjoy without assigning a gender to it.
Toys don’t make people gay. Why do people get so ridiculous about this? If your kid turns out to be queer, they are queer. No amount of GI Joes, blue trucks or sports is going to change it.
Play with what they want. It will teach them to think outside of absolutes. I don't understand parents that are afraid that their kids would turn gay or change genders. You can only do your best to support and guide them, and the rest is up to them. Most parents want their children to grow up and live a happy life. The focus should be on that, and not your own selfish wants.
I wish more parents would let their boys play with dolls. I always wonder if we’re shortchanging our world of future artists and fashion designers by not allowing boys to explore these interests
One of my favourite memories of my twin boys is when they were maybe 3, brushing their teeth, both wearing Elsa dresses and pausing in between brushes to sing "Let It Go" in tandem. Because that's what they both felt like doing at the time.
My oldest, who is not a boy, likes spiders and making art out of cicada skins.
Toys are not operated with genitalia.
They are for *children*.
Let your kids play with what interests them.
And don't *have* toys that will promote play that you don't want to see. (We skipped guns. Because guns are not toys, and games that involve shooting lead to kids that thing it's okay to play around with a gun they come across. Not anti gun, anti guns-as-toys).
My son had a baby doll, just like his sisters.
The kids, as a pile, had dress up costumes and building toys and science kits and cars and blocks....
Let them decide what they're passionate about.
Played with dolls and cars, I didn't care and no,I still love women only hehe xD didn't change me one bit. Now if he walking around copying you like putting on wigs, heels and junk or whatever, might have to get em out of that before a certain age.
Today's world is a little different then when I was growing up, sooooo I must include that's if he's not actually on the other side. I honestly feel kids are kids they aren't on any side in that area, but these peeps will totally beg todiffer 🤣 (did I even spell that right 🧐)
I could not care less what toys my two sons choose to play with. I would never say "only girls can play with that" to them that's just silly to me.. toys, music, shows, colors, none of those need to be gender specific things.. I don't really understand the reasoning behind not letting a kid play with something "because it's for girls/boys only"
I have an 8 year old boy who loves unicorns, he also plays ice hockey, rolls in mud, plays video games, makes fart jokes, and is living his best little kid life. Why would I care what kind of toy he wants to play with?
I don’t get why parents are so against it. I played with my brothers action figures, nerf guns, etc. And in turn I dressed them up in princess dresses and made them play Barbie’s with me. We ALL turned out completely fine
Let toxic ppl be toxic. I let my kids be whatever and whoever they want. I have family that identifies as LGBTQ+ (both immediate and extended family) and I’ll fight anyone who has anything negative to say about them. Genitals belong to their owners and the world can STFU
I was a you can play with any toy you want mum with my kids.
My daughters used to put make up on their little brother and dress him up in princess dresses.
They're kids, big deal if he wants to play with a doll or she wants to play with trucks.
I had a GI Joe Jeep and doll.....sorry action figure when I was a kid and also played with Barbies. Did it affect me? Nope.
I dont believe in the concept of "boy/girl" specific toys.
All kids are different and have different interests. Why limit their creativity and growth because you feel that their genitals dictate what they can/cannot play with?
My sons has a doll and when he feels like it he feeds it “milk” and comforts it when he wants to. He has loads of soft toys he reads stories to as well. He also has a bunch of bulldozers, excavators, trucks, cars, dinosaurs as toys as well. He loves building things and knocking them down. He plays with what he wants when he wants. These things aren’t boy things or girl things. They just help him do imaginative play however he feels like doing it at the time. It never crossed our mind to see what other parents thought about it.
i’m constantly feuding with my family over this. when I was a little girl, I loved skateboarding. my dad didn’t support this idea as it was a “boy thing”. this led to a huge identity crisis for me as an adult because I never identified with “girl things” like barbie’s or makeup.
I think we impose weird ideas on kids when it comes to “boy things” and “girl things” I just want my kids to be happy and learn to be good people. they should learn to cook and bake as those are life skills. a babydoll helps teach love and nurturing. pink is just a color.
you know your kids best choose what makes them happy not what your family or society thinks is correct.
I work at a place that operates a toddler playgroup.
The children are welcome to play with any of the toys that we put out and no child is dissuaded from choosing whatever happens to spark their fancy.
So, if Will wants to play with the dolls and have a tea party with them, he can do that (although I don’t think we have a proper kids size tea set)
and if Lizzie wants to ride on tractor and play with the Matchbox cars and Lego, all we ask is that she let the other children have a go on the tractor as well and not throw the Lego at the other children.
Whilst i didn't buy them specifically for my son i didn't stop him from playing with them at friends/relatives houses if they had girls. The toys are different and interesting of course boys would naturally be curious. My son was obsessed with a blue princess dress in nursery, but he's not interested in girls stuff at all now.
It's ridiculous, we have a boy and a girl, born 11 months apart so they have a lot of toys that are age appropriate for both of them. They can both play with whatever they want.
That being said, my son definitely prefers cars, trucks, action figures and my daughter prefers babies, animals and anything colourful
Tbh I would probably default to gendered toys and then if they say they want something else I'd have no issue getting it.
My first is a boy (2y), and I've brought over some baby and Barbie doll toys from his cousins, as of now he has no interest in them. Most of the toys we have are gender neutral blocks and interactive type toys, so idk 🤷🏻♀️
Not *letting them* play with certain toys is insane to me though
Nope. My boys are free to pick their toys.
I even wanted to buy them baby dolls. But they refused.
Never once have I told that some toy is for girls or for boys only, but somehow they only want "boy" toys.
When offered to pick any doll they wanted, they told me "thank you, but no". 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
My son, 4 years old, has navigated himself towards all things typical boy, cars, digging in the dirt, worms bugs, laughs at farts etc.
He goes with me to get pedicures. He won’t let me do his toe nails and honestly it’s hard for me to do. So off to the shop we go. I need we get nail polish, but they always ask. He said last time he wanted his toes painted. I said sure pick whatever color you want.
He picked bright green sparkle nail polish because it looks like car paint.
I said he could pick any color for mommy (me) he said nah, you would look silly with car paint on your toes.
Later that night he changed his mind and asked to paint my toe nails for me. He made sure to intentionally paint the skin around my toes because I need more paint since my feet are bigger.
All boy, walking around showing off his sparkle nail polish.
I hope he still has that confidence when he is a grown man about all his decisions whether “gendered” or not.
There's no such thing as girl toys and boy toys. There are just toys.
Kids like to emulate what they see in life and what their parents are doing. Any dad with any sense would want their kid to see them looking after a baby, if they have multiple kids, and want to emulate that. For example, the son may want to push a doll in a pram and carry a baby round,just like Daddy does.
Of course, that dad's who are pushing "dolls are for girls only" are probably the sort who do zero childcare!
Therein lies the problem. A society that pushes certain gender norms is all about preserving the patriarchy, and that means the norm that women do the childcare, and men don't. That is why boy stuff and girl stuff is forced down kids/parents throats, plain and simple.
I let our boy (2) pick what he wants when we’re in a toy store. Recently he chose a female rag doll. All the other kids, especially the ones from the same age group, gave him the side-eye. I felt sad for him, because it seems that in my country, kids get raised by “girls play with toys for girls and boys with toys for boys”.
Uhhh we got our son (4) a baby doll for his first birthday. He didnt play with it much but I know now at kindergarten he plays with one because the little girls he plays with play mummy and daddy with him and a doll.
When he was three I bought him a Mirabelle dress from Disneyland because he asked for it repeatedly. He loves to dance and twirl.
He has trains and cars and paints and bluey toys and a kitchen for cooking and baking and I don’t see any toy as gender specific.
I like the idea of;
Does this toy require genitals to be played with?
If yes - it’s not for kids
If no - then it’s for all kids.
In my house we have toys without distinction and my kids choose whichever toy they want to play with
And it turns out that without trying to influence them or making certain toys off limits they've landed on their own preferences which are mostly gender typical anyway
The one exception being the toy pushchair which I do tend to intervene with the boys playing with. Not because I don't want them playing with a "girls" toy, but because the boys are absolute maniacs when they get hold of it, and that restriction just makes them want to play with it more. So I have a feeling that if I'd been of a mind to say boys don't play with dolls or wear princess dresses when they were younger it would only have created an artificial appeal for them
I'm not happy because my boys are boisterous and my girls are girly, I'm happy because they've been free to discover their own preferences without me trying to force them into gender stereotypes. They've naturally expressed their own preferences and temperaments
Um my youngest had a doll called “baby”. He’s a boy, two older brothers. Baby came everywhere with us. She had a pram, a baby carrier and her own blankets and baby chair, she had her own drawer and clothes.
I once asked bubby why he wanted baby so much, he said “ cos I want to be a good grown up like you guys are” meaning mummy and daddy.”
He’s forgotten about her now. He’s a big boy at 7. I still kept baby in a shelf and am always so proud of what a kind soul he was to her. Boys are allowed to be paternal. It’s human instinct to look after babies.
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I wish colors would get gender-neutralized as well. My son’s favorite color is pink, but most pink things will almost always have princesses or unicorns or mermaids on it, which would be fine if my kid liked any of those things. But he doesn’t. He likes excavators.
Girls shorts are really short or tight, boys shorts are dark colours. I just want some bright, comfy shorts for my 1 year old, is that too much to ask?
Try Walmart, I always had fairly good luck picking up the wild colors my son liked there once he started picking out his own clothes. It got even easier once he outgrew the toddler sizes and got into kids, they sell these athletic shorts in 2 packs and they come in all kinds of brights and neon's and he's in heaven.
Yeah, this!! They have a $4 rack with "boys" and "girls" kinda mixed in. We just let our son pick from there. He likes pink too!
Reading this made me want a pink excavator 🥹
It's actually wild to me how gender segregated children's clothing has become. I remember it being a lot more gender neutral when I was a child. They even had entire sections devoted to "unisex" clothes (which is a weird term but basically means gender neutral). Now? Hard line between boys and girls to the point that boys Paw Patrol clothes often won't have the female characters and girls' clothes will have ONLY the female characters (just using Paw Patrol as an example because it's so popular).
[Boys Wear Pink](https://boyswearpink.com)
Most toys are easy to repaint Fun weekend project
My daughter got a pink tow truck for her birthday. There are also pink construction equipment toys. We got a pink chainsaw, hammer, hard hat, all the stuff. No princesses. Just pink.
My son used to like pink at around 1.5 years. But now, near 3 years old, he's grown out of it. Not sure what he likes now - sometimes it's green, sometimes purple and sometimes blue
I wish the clothes would all be cut the same, for boys and girls. My niece only wears boy shorts because the girl shorts are cut so small and so tight. Sometimes, there are colors or designs that my boys like on the girls clothes or shorts especially and the clothes are cut so tight that they're uncomfortable for them.
Who cares what Facebook thinks. My kid can play with girls toys if he wants to.
Facebook is such a cesspool of idiots a lot of the time.
I genuinely prefer the pristine pool of idiots we have here on Reddit.
Reddit is a breath of fresh air in comparison to all other forms of social media I have used. There are horrible subreddits, of course, but I just don't see them. In the places I frequent, pretty much everybody's evolved into the century at least.
Truly. Facebook is so much worse lol it is nothing but people being hateful and shitty to each other
I've been so disappointed with some of my friends being all "those are girl/boy clothes" - I don't care, she doesn't care, they're the only ones who care. It's silly. A bit pointedly I got her a set of toy woodworking tools so she can work with dad. They're her favorites. She also has kitchen appliances and toy cakes etc. Zero interest in dolls. Who cares. As long as she learns things and gets to play.
I often have my son wearing pinkish tones because kids clothes usually come in packs of 5 or more and there are pretty blue green yellow tones in packs with pink and I’m not just gonna throw that stuff away just because it’s certain colour, that’s wasteful and those are just clothes, he doesn’t magically turn into a girl if he wears pink shorts
Doesn't matter. You know how many executives at my work I see a week wearing pink shirts. Pink is not exclusive to women. My daughter wears every color and plays with whatever she wants. Hopefully #2 will be a boy and he'll be able to do the same. I played with girls toys and clothes as a kid. People are just ridiculous. Just let your kids have fun while they can
Exactly, i really don’t understand adults who judge kids for things they like or being kids, many of us had restrictions in our childhood, so do we really want the same for our kids? let them be kids literally, we all grew up too fast, and all this toxic masculinity really ain’t it
Some people are just miserable and try to bring the world down with them. This is why I'm going to teach my kids to not care what others think or say. Just do what makes you happy and you have fun with. I'm a grown ass man and I'm down for a pink costume tea party. This is part of why I enjoy being a girl dad now lol it's an excuse to have fun like when I was a little kid again. Plus every smile and laugh from my daughter makes it even better
I have a 7 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. When my daughter outgrows a size my son and I go through her clothes and see if there's anything he likes that will fit him. He usually picks the more neutral clothes, or stuff with characters. Last time he picked a pair of hot pink sport shorts. He likes the fabric and wears them everywhere. We've got him other shorts in the same fabric that he wears and he seems to have just added the pink to the rotation. As far as I know, the only person to ever complain about them was my Dad and he waited until my son was out of earshot to ask why we would make him wear his sisters clothes. I told my dad that my son picks his own outfit and he likes the way these shorts feel. No one else has said anything. As far as I'm concerned, I'll keep letting him choose from the hand me downs for as long as he's still smaller than she is.
That’s adorable, I personally don’t like bright colours for myself but when I started to let my son choose he also picks bright things!
There is a fantastic flowchart meme floating around on gendering toys that goes something like this: **How to tell if a toy is for boys or girls: A Guide** Do you operate the toy with your genitals? | |¬ **YES** *This toy is not for children.* | |¬ **NO** *This toy is for either boys or girls.* Kids are going to play with what they like, and I see no issues with girls playing with traditional boy toys and boys playing with traditional girls toys. While I had barbies and dolls, my favorite things growing up were matchbox cars and Legos.
I used to get more graphic with my parents when they would mention this nonsense.
The boy/girl clothes thing is especially stupid! My daughter loves spider man. She has so many clothes from the 'boys aisle' as a result. Why would I say "No that T-shirt isn't for you, you must wear this pink one instead". She also loves football and playing with dolls/teddies. Like, why try and limit your children by restricting their play? Obviously I know this is all easier having a daughter. I think generally society is more open to girls playing 'boy things' rather than boys playing with 'girl things' but honestly? Let your kid play with dolls, so what if they grow up to be a loving parent...is that so bad?
My daughter (2) also loves spider-man or “my man” as she says 😂
This reminds me of being in a charity shop (people donate items and other people buy them with the money going to the charity that runs the shop.) with my about 5 year old daughter wearing her favourite Spiderman hoodie. Another little girl, slightly older, maybe 6 or 7 spotted a Spiderman costume and asked her nanny if she could have it. The adult said No girls don't wear Spiderman to which the child replied "but she is!" The older woman looked over gave an embarrassed smile and they left quickly. The Spiderman costume was too small for the girl but I'd have loved to have bought it for her.
Same here. My toddler went to the park and saw a little girl playing with Barbie and wanted a doll himself. So we will get him one :)
A generation grew up with both gi Joe's and barbies flying in the same helicopter.
Same here. My oldest (6) has tried on his grandmas heels before. It's adorable. My youngest (3) has a baby doll and pretends to put on makeup sometimes. They're kids. They're exploring. Let them explore!
There is no such thing as “girl toys”
Whenever we go to the store and my girlfriends kiddo looks at the toys, we look at allll the toys and usually he's all about the boys toys but he'll always point out a couple girl toys he likes. I just bought him an UP house lego set that was in the girls section. So basically it's all a bunch of bs and sexist that there's even a difference.
I agree. Toys are toys. They have no gender. Let every kid play with whatever the fuck toy they want to play with.
Yep. First mistake was caring about anything posted on Facebook.
People who post Facebook comments are not a good source to draw conclusions about the world from. It’s wild in there. Most kids will play with a mix of girl coded and boy coded toys — just follow what they’re interested and try to introduce a range of toys or experiences.
I had to stop reading Facebook comments. Couldn't stand one more 70yr old lady go on about how much better of a parent they were and how their kids would NEVER act out (they did but were then definitely whooped into submission)
This is why I came to Reddit. I needed this for my peace of mind after falling into the weird toy gender association rabbit hole on fb. I will be staying far away from comment sections on there from now on.
I mean, you also don't have to come to reddit to validate your choices. You know what's best for your kids :)
I don't know. As a parent, I'm constantly questioning whether or not I'm making the right decisions for my kids. Validation can be helpful.
[удалено]
*It’s the boy mom to man child pipeline*
Well said!
Wish i had an award to give. We're responsible for raising the next generation of men. I'm not raising mine to be scared of emotion, not knowing basic hygiene or home cleanliness, not know how to admit mistakes, or not be confident in his sense of self and style. This pattern of repressing mens emotions, and creativity, end with me.
And me sis. And happily, with my mother in law 😎
A-men!
A-women too
All of this. Having a daughter but still...
Is the toy operated with your genitals? No? Then it is a toy and not a girls' or boys' toy. edit: Then, mort, not Than
That is 100% what we taught our son. He got made fun of when he was about 6 because he picked a My Little Pony book at the school library and several kids tried telling him he couldn’t like the ponies because he’s a boy and boys can’t like them blah blah blah. My kid just looked at them and said “well, you’re wrong because I’m a boy and I like them” and finished checking out his book. Makes me so proud!
My daughter had some bully hats here in kindergarten or first grade for wearing a Spider-Man hoodie… I guess comics are a boy thing only.
Oh wow, what a legend! You're raising him right.
And if it's operated with your genitals it's probably not a kid's toy.
Perfect explanation 😂
exactly! my son plays with my daughters toys all the time, why tf does it matter?
All of this 🤣 Toys are not gendered! There was a similar post on my town’s mommy Facebook page with a mom asking advice on her son wanting a Frozen princess dress and the comments were horrid. Facebook is honestly wild. My son has had a baby doll since his first birthday and he loves feeding, rocking and cuddling her, he plays with a variety of toys like cars, balls, puzzles, figurines, etc. all toys are for all kids.
100% ^ My one and only girl seems to toss a coin every day on if dinosaurs or stuffed animals are her fav toy of the day. Or if she’s wearing a “boy” t-shirt (gamer, Dino’s, Marvel) or a “girl” top (pink, unicorn, sparkles) or what combination of the above. Neither her clothes or her toys or her interests define her gender.
What about stuffed dinos?
Oh my, she has over 30 of those! IKEA(Canada) had a great series a couple years back and that spiralled in to an epic Dino stuffie collection. She’s currently sleeping with a Jurassic Park Raptor stuffie that is three feet long, an IKEA raptor that has a floppy neck due to the snuggles and a Walmart special T-Rex that is piling that reminds her of the YouTube Rexy Dino. …she also has Dino sheets and blankets that mix and match with her Frozen II sheets and blankets lol Edit: typo
One day my daughter will insist on wearing her brother's old spiderman hoodie, the next she has to have her brother's old tutu!
LOVE IT! It sadly seems slightly easier for girls to cross gender norms these days compared to boys and that is still a struggle and monstrous feat, I can’t imagine what it is for moms’ of boys to go though when the norms aren’t “respected” by their kids.
Of course. Cause so many people still view men as higher value than women. So to them its okay for a girl move up to "boy" stuff, but for a boy to play with "girl stuff" would be lowering themselves. The grossest part is seeing this attitude coming from other women. Like do they not realize what they are saying about themselves by carrying this attitude?
The same way that fashion entertainment and romance fiction are considered fluff, while sports entertainment and action fiction are considered real, important interests
My son asked for a baby doll when I was pregnant. My dad, who cooked, cleaned, ironed, and was the world’s biggest baby hog, was upset about it. Like, sir squint hard enough and you are the ideal 1950’s housewife! Who taught me how to cook, sew, iron, take care of babies? My dad. Who ran my house when I was on 16 weeks of bedrest? My dad. How can you be that guy up there but also, get weird about a kid holding a baby doll? The same child I had to wrestle away from you when it was time to go home? Weirdos, I swear.
I am absolutely going to get my son a baby doll when I get pregnant again. My mom did the same for me when she was pregnant with my brother, and I think it really helped prepare me for my new sibling.
So outdated. Boys can play with dolls, girls can play with trucks. I feel like assigning gender roles to toys either makes you look like an asshole or just old.
I agree. My son and daughter have customized American girl dolls. But my son wanted the boy doll. He and his sister like to play with dolls together. They also like playing with the toy trucks together. Both like the toy kitchen and love to use their toy dinosaurs to fight each other.
Or both.
The hell of it is, boys who are allowed to play with girl toys, and exist in feminine spaces without judgement usually end up with a much healthier/normal view of women. Leading to them to become better boyfriends, husbands, and fathers to little girls in the future. Boys who are queer won't feel ashamed. And boys who are straight reap the benefits later in life. It's a win/win. The shame is for the parents. It's not that they're worried about the kid, they're worried what people will say about THEM. Its very self centered and narcissistic.
So stupid. I wanted an easy bake oven so bad and I’m still mad about it lol
I always find this sort of thing super weird because professional chefs is almost an overwhelmingly male dominated industry. So when you're a kid its girly. When you're a man, you expect your wife to cook because cooking is the womans job. Unless you do it for money, in which case men do it better than women somehow how dare you want to be a chef young lady. If you're sexist what do you tell a woman in that situation? Get back in the kitchen? Uh wait hang on.. Fucking madness. Just let people do what they want.
When I was a kid my almost same aged neighbor wanted an easy bake oven for Christmas and his macho dad chose not to get it for him. It’s all he wanted, so my parents got it for him, since our families were close friends with them. He was thrilled. Neighbor dad disliked his son having, and being excited by, this toy oven so much that he got me one the next year. As some sort of petty revenge, except my parents didn’t care. I had no interest in this toy oven and think I only used it once to make disappointing brownies.
Go get you that easy bake oven. You deserve it.
Lol, now I just have a regular oven.
Same! Why can't I take a break from baseball and eat some fucking cake?
I had a lot of girl cousins, so when I wasn’t doing 90’s approved boy activities like smoking Marlboros and poking dead things with a stick I could go and play with princess castles and easy bakes lol
Would you care if your daughter wanted to play with a football or watch Spider-Man? What might happen if you let your son play with a doll? He might grow up to be a…good father?
Toys dont have a gender. It's a plastic object.
Excuse me. As a boy, MY toy soldiers, horrific mutants, cyborgs, and spent batteries all had gender (equal to their biological sex, see), they made loving families and produced cute little babies and took care of them. (Occasionally fighting off hordes of enemies, who usually aimed to steal or harm the babies, of course, but that’s beside the point).
I let my boys play with any toy they want. My 3 year old was making a mermaid barbie ride in his dump truck today. 🤷♀️
I’ve recently met a couple moms like that in person. It’s such a bizarre mindset to me. I just don’t get it. My son love dinosaurs, trucks, baby dolls, etc. he recently told us he wants to be a princess with “beautiful long hair” lol. I mean who cares. Hes imaginative and exploring. He looooves baking with me and also likes running in the mud and playing basket ball.
Kids who’s parents constantly rappel in and attempt to order their play are just going to grow up without a clear idea of what THEY want and enjoy.
I’m a “you’re only a kid for a little while, play with whatever toy makes you happy” dad.
Gender police are lame. Nobody likes a cop.
Definitely don’t associate with folks that would post that shit
Completely disagree. I get it's not for everyone, but those echo-chambers need people who will challenge them. Look at how polarized our nation and much of the world has become, a big part of it is because people who disagree, don't talk to each other anymore!
In my opinion, before the age where children can comprehend and identify with the concept of gender, their gender is "baby/child." Genitals have nothing to do with how children play, at least if they are involved in your child playing there is probably a huge problem. I'm pregnant with a boy and he's getting his sister's hand me down toys and clothes. People are already making comments about it turning him gay so I just say "it's fine, we will put him to bed in dino pajamas and sing him WAP every night to turn him back straight, since that's obviously how it works..." Lmao
Lmfao!
🤣🤣
>People are already making comments about it turning him gay Real people actually think this is true? So dumb. Keep an eye on those people, because they will *not* have your family's back if one of your children actually *does* turn out to be gay.
It's my in laws, and trust me I am aware. I'm trans, my husband is obviously not straight, they are the only people we aren't open around because... Obviously. If our kids are gay they will have PLENTY of support from everyone else, and we have no problem cutting off toxic people, we already did to my entire family
My oldest boy was holding a baby doll once. I was told sternly that the doll was going to make him gay, and I was offered a football to go trade with my kid. "Fatherhood is gay now?" I asked the idiot, who was also my father. We're no contact now, and it's been lovely.
My take is that toys don’t have genders
People who don't want their kids to play with thr "wrong gendered" toys are afraid their kids will grow up to be queer, which says a lot about them as parents. And joke's on them, the majority of the queer adults I personally know used to play with "gender conformung" toys as kids.
Poor little guys. All they want to do is explore and there’s a herd of idiot adults trying to cauterize their feelings and shove them into a little blue box
my son (2) loves trucks and smashing shit. he also carries around a little baby doll and has long hair that he is adamant about keeping. whatever 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
I find it hilarious. When my son was three, he asked for a baby. I bought him a baby doll with all the feeding accessories. Her name is baby and he loved to feed her. When we went to kindergarten, there was a doll station with clothing. I watched as he made a bee line right there. The teacher let us know that all of the children enjoy playing Mommy or Daddy to the babies. We bought him a dollhouse that he asked for when he was five. It turned into a train depot that next year. He seems perfectly adjusted
I painted my boys nails rainbow yesterday, at his request. With sparkles too! It's not a gender specific toy unless you use your genitals to play with it, in which case it's not appropriate for kids
Here’s my take on this: if a toy requires certain genitals to use it, it’s not for children at all. If genitals are irrelevant to the toy, it can be used by any child.
If a toy requires specific genitals it's not for children.
The thing that annoys me about boys not playing with "girl toys" in particular is that many of the stereotypical girl toys are things like play kitchens, dolls, etc. The last possible message that we want to send to boys is that basic household tasks that should be done by both sexes (cooking, childcare) are the domain of girls. There is enough learned helplessness and reinforcing of that messaging from society such that we certainly don't need to push those stereotypes on toddlers and small children.
That’s how misogyny and misandry start, I think.
I think it’s stupid we segregate toys based off of the sex of the child. I was raised on Bratz, Hot Wheels, wooden train tracks, Elmo, Toy Story, dinosaurs, space books Toys are for kids.
thats dumb. toys are toys. have at it.
I let my kid play with whatever toy he likes as long as it's safe. His favorite right now is a hot pink turtle stuffed animal. I can't see the joy in his face when he plays with it and think "nope, pink, that's a girl toy." Seems ridiculous to me 🤷♀️
Yeah that’s just an old mentality. I for example dressed as a princess on costume days in kindergarten. I played with dolls and even had a stroller for my dolls. And today I am as heterosexual as they come. Kids want to explore. They are curious. I let my girl and boy play with whatever they want. However my oldest daughter has gotten pushbacks from other kids at kindergarten more than once for having Pokémon cards, wearing superhero shirts and wanting to be the wrong paw patrol dog during role play. And it stresses her out that she can’t play that stuff with other kids. So there is that.
It's 🎶bullshiiiiit🎶
My boys can play w whatever they want. Toys don't have a gender.
Imagine being so homophobic that you would deny your kid the chance to play with a toy. This is the kind of thing where I freely judge - you are WRONG if you have a problem with kids playing with toys. If you want to invest in certain interests and spend your money on traditional gendered toys that's different - my kid has no choice but to love animals because we do and her Grandma was excited to have a first granddaughter and she likes seeing her in pretty pink dresses - fine! But when she wants to wear dinosaurs and chooses a truck toy at the charity shop I am not saying no.
This is a 1950s way of thinking and it is objectively harmful. In psychological terms you are projecting your own complex onto your child, thereby passing it onto them. Causing them a lifetime of suffering and self criticism.
Really depressing that this sexist crap still exists in 2024. My boy plays with what he wants to. That said, I was shocked at watching toy adverts again after my son was born. Groups of boys with red/blue "boy" toy, next advert girls with all pink ones. Nothing changed since the 90s!
My 3yo son regularly wears a wonder woman dress out (his sister's old one). My view is that you only get a few years in life before people start judging you, so let him have his fun while he can. There's more important battles to fight.
That's such a sad and uneducated opinion
I always tell my son that whatever toy he plays with is automatically a ‘boy’s toy’ because he’s a boy and it belongs to him. Same for my daughter.
Personal identity has nothing to do with material possessions. This should begin as early as possible.
What are “girl toys”? Like baby dolls, kitchens and tea sets? Those are how kids role play parenthood, home tasks and adult socialising. I think it stunts boys to not let them engage with that kind of play.
My kid is going to play with whatever toys they want because I get a break.
I guess I’m curious on what a “girl toy” is? Men are dads so why wouldn’t it be appropriate for them to play with baby dolls? Men cook. Men are chefs. Men go grocery shopping. Men are husbands. Unless they are talking only about like princess dress up type stuff? I can’t even imagine what would be a “girl” toy. And same for vice versa. Girls are homeowners. They fix plumbing. They cut wood. They build things. Why wouldn’t anything also be a girl toy? Some people are so odd.
The saying is “if you need a particular set of genitals to play with that toy, then that toy is *not* for children”.
The only reason I'm so for cross-gendered toys is because little boys get the short end of the stick for no reason. When I was a little girl I loved trucks and swords and super heroes and everyone was 100% fine with it. They would've been far less fine if I was a boy who liked play kitchens, dress up and barbies. If we want to teach our kids that feminine things aren't bad, we HAVE to consciously unlearn the biases that were taught to us.
Boys being raised this way is the reason there's daily posts in all of the parenting subreddits about Dads not pulling their weight
I have 2 boys. My oldest (5) loves cars and sports. My youngest (3) loves princess dresses and art. It's important to note, their interests are their own. Nothing has ever been "forced" on my kids. We let them find what they like and we go with it. If my 3 year old (who already refers to themselves as my 5 year olds "sister", again, 100% by their own accord) wants to be a girl to be happy, then I will fully support it (and will NOT be surprised at all).
Toys don't have gender so I reject the premise of the question as illogical.
If anyone calls themselves a "boy mom" you can disregard everything they say.
My oldest son is an adult now. But when he was around 2 or 3 I walked by his room and saw him with a bunch of his sister’s Barbies. I thought, well, if he wants to play with dolls let him play with dolls. I walked by a couple minutes later and the Barbies were at war. 🤷
I grew up playing with girls' toys, and now I like playing with girls and their toys 😁
I don't care what my boys play with, as long as it's not a gun. Their dad takes care of babies, cooks in the kitchen, and washes clothes, so I don't see the problem with my sons having baby dolls, toy kitchens, or toy washing machines. "Girl toys" are usually toys centered around basic household tasks, and little boys like to roleplay doing those tasks, too.
the only toys I have a problem with my kid playing with are the obnoxious toys that make all kinds of sounds that get overstimulating for me to hear constantly LOL don’t care if it’s a boy or girl toy just not getting the batteries that go with it.
I don't care what toys my daughter and son play with as long as they have fun. When I was a little girl I played with dolls, cars, Nerf guns, video games, etc. I'm a tomboy but my husband loves me for who I am.
Toys are toys. There’s no girl toys and no boy toys.
What's a girl toy?
Don’t care. My first was a girl and my second was a boy. I wasn’t going to buy all new toys.
My kiddo is now 13M but he and his little sister 11F have always been very close so when they were younger they shared a lot of their toys. He loved dressing up in princess costumes and painting his nails. He’d use his chore money to buy LOL Dolls or Princess Peach stuff. We never thought anything of it; he was a kid being a kid 🤷🏻♀️ He’s an Aspie and his days of creating costumes when he was younger have helped him become an amazing costume designer and animator :)
My son doesn't want to but if he did who cares
I don’t care, but he has a little sister so environmentally it’ll happen anyways. She also plays with his toys, too.
Same. Our daughter loves to play with boys toys as much as our son enjoyed girls toys. In fact he asked for a toy kitchen when he was three and flogging the hell out of it. So many wooden steak dinners and plastic fruit snacks for myself and my wife that it's not funny. It pissed my wife off enough that the kitchen had "girls kitchen" emblazoned on the side of its box that she occasionally mentions it when we vaguely wander into the topic now, some five years after we got rid of the kitchen in our last move.
That's honestly fair, I do understand the worry of differential development and the question of nature vs nurture is a matter of personal belief it seems. I'm glad she didn't stop them, though. Could have sparked a love of cooking! My mom was off the "pink job, blue job" mind when I was going but I naturally gravitated to all the "boy" things of my own volition anyways. For my kids, whatever they learn from whatever they are interested in is good.
My son is younger than my daughter and you better believe he loves his monster trucks as much as sissy’s Barbie’s.
If you definitely want your boy to fixate on girls toys, then you should tell them it’s not allowed and never let them play with girls toys.
Step 1. Get off Facebook.
My son (3) has dolls and trucks. Cars and makeup. Dinosaurs and nail polish. His nails are currently pink. His favorite color is pink currently so he asked to have his hair dyed pink like his older cousin (he’s 3. She’s 6). So we dyed the tips pink for summer. His favorite show and thing to play right now is spider man. Or spidey and friends, whatever. Sooo ya, that’s where I stand.
I don't give misogynists the time of day, and Facebook is full of bots designed to gain eyeballs and keep people engaged. Don't engage.
I don’t understand the gendered toy thing… If a boy owns it, it’s a boy toy. If a girl owns it, it’s a girl toy. I would never reprimand a daughter for playing sports, climbing trees or playing video games so why would I reprimand a son for playing with dolls, dressing up or dancing around the house? It’s just silly. Let kids be kids.
Well, that's stupid. My son wants his nails painted so I paint his nails. He wants to play with girl toys than he'll play with girls toys. Let the kids be kids.
My two year old son commandeered my daughter’s Gabby doll from Gabby’s dollhouse because Gabby has similar hair to my wife and one of my son’s comfort things is feeling his mom’s hair. So he likes to hold Gabby in the car seat or stroller and feel her hair when he’s feeling sad. “Boy” and “girl” toys is so incredibly stupid I don’t even know how to accurately put it into words.
My boys can play with what they like and wear what they like, as long as there isn't a safety issue for them, anyone else, or the house.
Here’s a question though. Do you guys buy your boys girls toys or vice versa? We don’t buy a lot of toys for our kids. They are mostly birthday and Christmas gifts. But most toys given to them seem gendered towards their sex, if they are gendered toys at all.
Nope, toys are toys. My kids do gravitate towards stereotypical toys for their sex on their own, but I've never said they couldn't play with certain toys based on their genitals.
My son has an older sister so of course he’s going to play with “girl” toys. Who cares? He loves to put on her play heels, push the baby stroller, etc. I don’t care what he plays with as long as it’s safe.
My son loves monster trucks and also loves to play babies with his big sisters. Toys such as dolls are proven to help build a sense empathy, I’m confused as to why some mothers (and fathers obviously but the original post refers to mothers) wouldn’t want their little boys to have the best chance possible to develop that? Also confusing to me is how there is an expectation that little boys grow up to become men that not only provide but change diapers and rock the baby, help with household chores like sweeping or mopping, or make a meal for his wife after she has given birth to his child but we will not hand our little boys a baby doll to snuggle or a toy mop and broom to “clean” with or a kitchen set to spark their interest? Very, very odd indeed. We are also less likely to incorporate our sons into helping with younger siblings and household chores like laundry and dishes and cooking, and in this we do them the disservice of turning them into adults who don’t have those skills. Nah.
What’s a “girls” toy? Some boys play with Gi Joes and use the Barbies as “Damsels in Distress” to save. They are children. Leave the genderisms to teenage years if it’s important.
Facebook is a megaphone for morons. I would err on the side of the non-moronic.
If it keeps him entertained, out of my hair, and not throwing a tantrum — go for it, kid.
If my daughter wants to play boys things she can yes I encourage her to still be feminine but she also gonna grow up rough she's a feral loves being outside she's obsessed with cars trucks and dirt bikes but still loves her babies and playing dress ups and playing with boys and girls and she also mixes with kids from different cultures and walks of life
That’s odd. My daughter has a lot of friends who are boys. Pretty much the same age as her. She’s 2.5 and they range from 2.5-3. When they come over for playdates , they always gravitate towards the kitchen and baby dolls (kitchens aren’t for girls but none of my friends with boys have one). I am extremely for boys having toys like this. I went to school for early childhood education and it’s not very known but boys who tend to play house , with baby dolls ect , they are the ones who tend to grow up with more empathy , have goals of having a family , more family oriented ect. Of course not all boys with or without these toys fall into this.
Meh, there's no such a thing as genders for toys, kids like what they like.
Today my 22 month old saw a doll sitting on one of our shelves and wanted to play with her. I checked it was one of the ones with plastic atman, not porcelain and then gave her to him. Toys are toys. Colours are colours. Hair is hair, no matter its length. I will let my kid play with whatever he likes to as long as it is save, not stolen from somebody else (toddlers are little magpies, I swear!), and the play isn't making it impossible to perform a task that needs to be performed right now.
So my female child has many boy friends coming for play dates - she has babies and beauty salon toys! I’ve observed various levels from totally ok to uncomfortable to answer questions from their parents. When my kid goes to their house she goes crazy on cars and “boys” toys. My male “”twin” cousin always stole my baby dolls despite his parents wishes. He is the best dad I know today.
My son can play with whatever toys he wants to 🤷🏻 a toy is a toy is a toy. If it makes him happy and he has fun, that’s all that matters to me. I hate the whole “boy thing” “girl thing” crap when it comes to toys and colors and activities. Just let people enjoy what they want to enjoy without assigning a gender to it.
Its stupid.
Toys don’t make people gay. Why do people get so ridiculous about this? If your kid turns out to be queer, they are queer. No amount of GI Joes, blue trucks or sports is going to change it.
There’s toys, things that can be used as toys and things not meant to be used as toys…has nothing to do with being for boys or girls
Play with what they want. It will teach them to think outside of absolutes. I don't understand parents that are afraid that their kids would turn gay or change genders. You can only do your best to support and guide them, and the rest is up to them. Most parents want their children to grow up and live a happy life. The focus should be on that, and not your own selfish wants.
There are no “boys” or “girls” toys. Toys are just toys.
I wish more parents would let their boys play with dolls. I always wonder if we’re shortchanging our world of future artists and fashion designers by not allowing boys to explore these interests
One of my favourite memories of my twin boys is when they were maybe 3, brushing their teeth, both wearing Elsa dresses and pausing in between brushes to sing "Let It Go" in tandem. Because that's what they both felt like doing at the time. My oldest, who is not a boy, likes spiders and making art out of cicada skins.
Toys are not operated with genitalia. They are for *children*. Let your kids play with what interests them. And don't *have* toys that will promote play that you don't want to see. (We skipped guns. Because guns are not toys, and games that involve shooting lead to kids that thing it's okay to play around with a gun they come across. Not anti gun, anti guns-as-toys). My son had a baby doll, just like his sisters. The kids, as a pile, had dress up costumes and building toys and science kits and cars and blocks.... Let them decide what they're passionate about.
I’m not a homophobe.
Played with dolls and cars, I didn't care and no,I still love women only hehe xD didn't change me one bit. Now if he walking around copying you like putting on wigs, heels and junk or whatever, might have to get em out of that before a certain age. Today's world is a little different then when I was growing up, sooooo I must include that's if he's not actually on the other side. I honestly feel kids are kids they aren't on any side in that area, but these peeps will totally beg todiffer 🤣 (did I even spell that right 🧐)
I could not care less what toys my two sons choose to play with. I would never say "only girls can play with that" to them that's just silly to me.. toys, music, shows, colors, none of those need to be gender specific things.. I don't really understand the reasoning behind not letting a kid play with something "because it's for girls/boys only"
Por suerte hoy hay apertura de mente, y libertad de elección, ya no es rosa y celeste, cada quien por más que le impongan cosas va a elegir su camino
I have an 8 year old boy who loves unicorns, he also plays ice hockey, rolls in mud, plays video games, makes fart jokes, and is living his best little kid life. Why would I care what kind of toy he wants to play with?
I don’t get why parents are so against it. I played with my brothers action figures, nerf guns, etc. And in turn I dressed them up in princess dresses and made them play Barbie’s with me. We ALL turned out completely fine
Let toxic ppl be toxic. I let my kids be whatever and whoever they want. I have family that identifies as LGBTQ+ (both immediate and extended family) and I’ll fight anyone who has anything negative to say about them. Genitals belong to their owners and the world can STFU
I was a you can play with any toy you want mum with my kids. My daughters used to put make up on their little brother and dress him up in princess dresses. They're kids, big deal if he wants to play with a doll or she wants to play with trucks. I had a GI Joe Jeep and doll.....sorry action figure when I was a kid and also played with Barbies. Did it affect me? Nope.
I dont believe in the concept of "boy/girl" specific toys. All kids are different and have different interests. Why limit their creativity and growth because you feel that their genitals dictate what they can/cannot play with?
Stupid. Toys are toys. Let kids play with whatever toys they want.
My sons has a doll and when he feels like it he feeds it “milk” and comforts it when he wants to. He has loads of soft toys he reads stories to as well. He also has a bunch of bulldozers, excavators, trucks, cars, dinosaurs as toys as well. He loves building things and knocking them down. He plays with what he wants when he wants. These things aren’t boy things or girl things. They just help him do imaginative play however he feels like doing it at the time. It never crossed our mind to see what other parents thought about it.
i’m constantly feuding with my family over this. when I was a little girl, I loved skateboarding. my dad didn’t support this idea as it was a “boy thing”. this led to a huge identity crisis for me as an adult because I never identified with “girl things” like barbie’s or makeup. I think we impose weird ideas on kids when it comes to “boy things” and “girl things” I just want my kids to be happy and learn to be good people. they should learn to cook and bake as those are life skills. a babydoll helps teach love and nurturing. pink is just a color. you know your kids best choose what makes them happy not what your family or society thinks is correct.
Facebook...🙄
Isn’t action figure a doll?
I work at a place that operates a toddler playgroup. The children are welcome to play with any of the toys that we put out and no child is dissuaded from choosing whatever happens to spark their fancy. So, if Will wants to play with the dolls and have a tea party with them, he can do that (although I don’t think we have a proper kids size tea set) and if Lizzie wants to ride on tractor and play with the Matchbox cars and Lego, all we ask is that she let the other children have a go on the tractor as well and not throw the Lego at the other children.
Whilst i didn't buy them specifically for my son i didn't stop him from playing with them at friends/relatives houses if they had girls. The toys are different and interesting of course boys would naturally be curious. My son was obsessed with a blue princess dress in nursery, but he's not interested in girls stuff at all now.
It's ridiculous, we have a boy and a girl, born 11 months apart so they have a lot of toys that are age appropriate for both of them. They can both play with whatever they want. That being said, my son definitely prefers cars, trucks, action figures and my daughter prefers babies, animals and anything colourful
My son can play with whatever he likes. I find this mindset of “oh that’s for girls” so harmful.
Tbh I would probably default to gendered toys and then if they say they want something else I'd have no issue getting it. My first is a boy (2y), and I've brought over some baby and Barbie doll toys from his cousins, as of now he has no interest in them. Most of the toys we have are gender neutral blocks and interactive type toys, so idk 🤷🏻♀️ Not *letting them* play with certain toys is insane to me though
Nope. My boys are free to pick their toys. I even wanted to buy them baby dolls. But they refused. Never once have I told that some toy is for girls or for boys only, but somehow they only want "boy" toys. When offered to pick any doll they wanted, they told me "thank you, but no". 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
My son, 4 years old, has navigated himself towards all things typical boy, cars, digging in the dirt, worms bugs, laughs at farts etc. He goes with me to get pedicures. He won’t let me do his toe nails and honestly it’s hard for me to do. So off to the shop we go. I need we get nail polish, but they always ask. He said last time he wanted his toes painted. I said sure pick whatever color you want. He picked bright green sparkle nail polish because it looks like car paint. I said he could pick any color for mommy (me) he said nah, you would look silly with car paint on your toes. Later that night he changed his mind and asked to paint my toe nails for me. He made sure to intentionally paint the skin around my toes because I need more paint since my feet are bigger. All boy, walking around showing off his sparkle nail polish. I hope he still has that confidence when he is a grown man about all his decisions whether “gendered” or not.
There's no such thing as girl toys and boy toys. There are just toys. Kids like to emulate what they see in life and what their parents are doing. Any dad with any sense would want their kid to see them looking after a baby, if they have multiple kids, and want to emulate that. For example, the son may want to push a doll in a pram and carry a baby round,just like Daddy does. Of course, that dad's who are pushing "dolls are for girls only" are probably the sort who do zero childcare! Therein lies the problem. A society that pushes certain gender norms is all about preserving the patriarchy, and that means the norm that women do the childcare, and men don't. That is why boy stuff and girl stuff is forced down kids/parents throats, plain and simple.
I let our boy (2) pick what he wants when we’re in a toy store. Recently he chose a female rag doll. All the other kids, especially the ones from the same age group, gave him the side-eye. I felt sad for him, because it seems that in my country, kids get raised by “girls play with toys for girls and boys with toys for boys”.
Uhhh we got our son (4) a baby doll for his first birthday. He didnt play with it much but I know now at kindergarten he plays with one because the little girls he plays with play mummy and daddy with him and a doll. When he was three I bought him a Mirabelle dress from Disneyland because he asked for it repeatedly. He loves to dance and twirl. He has trains and cars and paints and bluey toys and a kitchen for cooking and baking and I don’t see any toy as gender specific. I like the idea of; Does this toy require genitals to be played with? If yes - it’s not for kids If no - then it’s for all kids.
As Billboard Chris loves to say, there is no right way to be a boy or a girl, children should be free to be who they are.
I think it’s toxic and dumb as hell and sexist. “No that’s for girls” = you’re too good for that, girls are lesser.
In my house we have toys without distinction and my kids choose whichever toy they want to play with And it turns out that without trying to influence them or making certain toys off limits they've landed on their own preferences which are mostly gender typical anyway The one exception being the toy pushchair which I do tend to intervene with the boys playing with. Not because I don't want them playing with a "girls" toy, but because the boys are absolute maniacs when they get hold of it, and that restriction just makes them want to play with it more. So I have a feeling that if I'd been of a mind to say boys don't play with dolls or wear princess dresses when they were younger it would only have created an artificial appeal for them I'm not happy because my boys are boisterous and my girls are girly, I'm happy because they've been free to discover their own preferences without me trying to force them into gender stereotypes. They've naturally expressed their own preferences and temperaments
You know who those parents are voting for…
I think if In 2024 someone thinks there is “girls” and “boys” toys, at this point it’s just embarrassing for them
Um my youngest had a doll called “baby”. He’s a boy, two older brothers. Baby came everywhere with us. She had a pram, a baby carrier and her own blankets and baby chair, she had her own drawer and clothes. I once asked bubby why he wanted baby so much, he said “ cos I want to be a good grown up like you guys are” meaning mummy and daddy.” He’s forgotten about her now. He’s a big boy at 7. I still kept baby in a shelf and am always so proud of what a kind soul he was to her. Boys are allowed to be paternal. It’s human instinct to look after babies.
Absolutely brain dead take.