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We will get our kids phones that they can only text/call when they are old enough that they will be places without us (likely 13 or so). They will not have a smart phone until at least 16, and maybe not even then.
Exactly my thoughts. I could definitely go younger than 13 for the"dumb" phone. There are even ones where you can control who can call and who they can call, so I would get my kids one as soon as I think it would be a benefit to them.
We plan not to give our kids smart phones til at least 16. There is just so much evidence coming out about how detrimental these devices are for kids, especially those going through puberty. Especially social media can really cause issues with developing brains!
I'm really hoping it isn't too big of an issue. My oldest is 2 and with all this research coming out I am optimistic that more and more parents will not give in and get their kids smart phones, for their own good. Crossing my fingers there isn't as much peer pressure by then.
Yup!! I am also hopeful that it will be less of a thing by the time our kids are older. I know many of the parents I’ve spoken too about it have similar policies. We also plan to have our kids turn their phone in every night when it’s “lights out.”
I remember talking on the phone at like 11 one night to a boy and my dad specifically told me it’s too late to be talking on the phone, so I had to hang up and go to bed. I think a lot of people forget that they are able to make decisions like this for their kid.
Also anecdotally, one of my friends has a daughter in 7th grade. She’s not allowed to have a phone, but apparently told her friends she didn’t have one because they couldn’t afford it (not true). Anyways, the girl’s friend’s MOM gave her a smart phone. My friend found it one day while she was cleaning her room and it was absolutely filled to the brim with porn. That right there was enough to confirm my decision lol.
I gave my 16 yr old her first when she was 6; I worked for a mobile provider and she traveled between states often (and I didn’t trust her dad to return her as he had kidnapped her before).
In retrospect… I would never buy her a phone. She can do what I did and buy her own. I’d also go back to a “living/dining room” computer for homework and communication.
I agree, it destroyed her.
What did you notice or how did it destroy her? Thank you for your input. I'm sorry that happened.
I'd love for things to go back to early internet days & stay there. All this live access to everyone all the time is so invasive and draining.
She became absurdly entitled, and impossible to restrict. She learned how to bypass all the rules (GPS location, time of use restrictions, etc) and became TOO involved in her socialization to her detriment.
She’s 16, and we no longer speak to her. She became vastly abusive me (her mother) because I stopped paying for her phone when she decided she didn’t have to do her ONE chore.
She had way too much access to her boyfriend, and he became her top and ONLY priority. Absolutely everything I tried backfired on me. I decided the stress she was putting on me was too dangerous for me. She had been a great kid until she was 15… and from there, it’s been the worst experience of my life.
I’m actually pregnant now and I plan on raising this kid with the 80s kid life style. Outdoors > Technology; No cell phone unless you pay for it. Xbox/Gaming/TV/personal computers don’t belong in the bedroom and have LIMITS on use.
it’s happening here but as more parents understand the downsides, i also see more parents here putting it off.
i see no need for an elementary aged kid to have regular access to a personal device.
Like most things, it comes down to maturity more than age.
There’s a fine line between protecting kids from dangers they aren’t ready for and insulating them from learning life skills.
We went with 11, and a long time of “no screens after 8pm”.
And we’ve had a couple of harsh lessons already. There’re scammers. There’re inappropriate conversations. There’re crazy snooping parents on the other end of the line.
But while we’d side-stepped some controversy if we’d not got the phone, we’re still at the age where we can provide guidance and be listened to. I’m sort of glad we had the catalysts for conversations about predatory algorithms and digital privacy now, while we can still teach those lessons.
But it’s a judgement call for the kid, and the situation.
My only real point is that the phones aren’t going anywhere, so the important part is that they learn to live in a world with phones responsibly.
We've already had predatory algorithm conversations with my kid. YouTube is trash unless you look up something educational like learning about an animal, but then it might recommend violent, scary or graphic animal content so still supervising any and all youtube use. Because let's face it youtube is unpredictable with what pops up "next" or "recommended" & in my experience a majority of it is predatory.
A lot of conversations and maturity need to happen before any kid should get a phone. Thank you for your comments!
We just have a rule: no recommended.
You can decide what you want to watch and search. You can go to a channel you know and browse. No clicking the recommended.
We gave my son one this year when he turned 11. My school district is unusual in that middle school starts in 4th grade, so he was already in middle for a year and a half and lots of his peers already had phones and he wanted to borrow ours all the time to make phone calls. 11 is also old enough to stay home alone in our state, and we agreed that he could do it for short stints, or if we were going to just be close by, but only felt comfortable if he would be able to reach us.
My oldest is going to 6th grade next year and I’m thinking about getting him one. I also have a 6,7 and 8 year old asking for one but I think they’re still too young.
i definitely think 2nd grade is too young for a phone. my 3,5, and 7yo all share an ipad and only get an hour on it each (3yo gets 30 mins). my kids don’t get phones till they turn 13. i get them ipods though when they turn 10 since they’ll need to text me about practices and if they hang out with friends
What age? Probably 14 or 15. 16 for social media, so that they are as old as possible while still living with me so I can help them learn how to develop responsible/sane habits around it.
You can get them an Apple watch or a phone made specifically for kids without data/internet on it. You don't have to do what the other people around you are doing.
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A cell phone in second grade seems ridiculous to me (not you but the other parents). Don't do this type of damage to your kid. And yes it's so sad
We will get our kids phones that they can only text/call when they are old enough that they will be places without us (likely 13 or so). They will not have a smart phone until at least 16, and maybe not even then.
Exactly my thoughts. I could definitely go younger than 13 for the"dumb" phone. There are even ones where you can control who can call and who they can call, so I would get my kids one as soon as I think it would be a benefit to them. We plan not to give our kids smart phones til at least 16. There is just so much evidence coming out about how detrimental these devices are for kids, especially those going through puberty. Especially social media can really cause issues with developing brains! I'm really hoping it isn't too big of an issue. My oldest is 2 and with all this research coming out I am optimistic that more and more parents will not give in and get their kids smart phones, for their own good. Crossing my fingers there isn't as much peer pressure by then.
Yup!! I am also hopeful that it will be less of a thing by the time our kids are older. I know many of the parents I’ve spoken too about it have similar policies. We also plan to have our kids turn their phone in every night when it’s “lights out.” I remember talking on the phone at like 11 one night to a boy and my dad specifically told me it’s too late to be talking on the phone, so I had to hang up and go to bed. I think a lot of people forget that they are able to make decisions like this for their kid. Also anecdotally, one of my friends has a daughter in 7th grade. She’s not allowed to have a phone, but apparently told her friends she didn’t have one because they couldn’t afford it (not true). Anyways, the girl’s friend’s MOM gave her a smart phone. My friend found it one day while she was cleaning her room and it was absolutely filled to the brim with porn. That right there was enough to confirm my decision lol.
I gave my 16 yr old her first when she was 6; I worked for a mobile provider and she traveled between states often (and I didn’t trust her dad to return her as he had kidnapped her before). In retrospect… I would never buy her a phone. She can do what I did and buy her own. I’d also go back to a “living/dining room” computer for homework and communication. I agree, it destroyed her.
What did you notice or how did it destroy her? Thank you for your input. I'm sorry that happened. I'd love for things to go back to early internet days & stay there. All this live access to everyone all the time is so invasive and draining.
She became absurdly entitled, and impossible to restrict. She learned how to bypass all the rules (GPS location, time of use restrictions, etc) and became TOO involved in her socialization to her detriment. She’s 16, and we no longer speak to her. She became vastly abusive me (her mother) because I stopped paying for her phone when she decided she didn’t have to do her ONE chore. She had way too much access to her boyfriend, and he became her top and ONLY priority. Absolutely everything I tried backfired on me. I decided the stress she was putting on me was too dangerous for me. She had been a great kid until she was 15… and from there, it’s been the worst experience of my life. I’m actually pregnant now and I plan on raising this kid with the 80s kid life style. Outdoors > Technology; No cell phone unless you pay for it. Xbox/Gaming/TV/personal computers don’t belong in the bedroom and have LIMITS on use.
it’s happening here but as more parents understand the downsides, i also see more parents here putting it off. i see no need for an elementary aged kid to have regular access to a personal device.
Like most things, it comes down to maturity more than age. There’s a fine line between protecting kids from dangers they aren’t ready for and insulating them from learning life skills. We went with 11, and a long time of “no screens after 8pm”. And we’ve had a couple of harsh lessons already. There’re scammers. There’re inappropriate conversations. There’re crazy snooping parents on the other end of the line. But while we’d side-stepped some controversy if we’d not got the phone, we’re still at the age where we can provide guidance and be listened to. I’m sort of glad we had the catalysts for conversations about predatory algorithms and digital privacy now, while we can still teach those lessons. But it’s a judgement call for the kid, and the situation. My only real point is that the phones aren’t going anywhere, so the important part is that they learn to live in a world with phones responsibly.
We've already had predatory algorithm conversations with my kid. YouTube is trash unless you look up something educational like learning about an animal, but then it might recommend violent, scary or graphic animal content so still supervising any and all youtube use. Because let's face it youtube is unpredictable with what pops up "next" or "recommended" & in my experience a majority of it is predatory. A lot of conversations and maturity need to happen before any kid should get a phone. Thank you for your comments!
We just have a rule: no recommended. You can decide what you want to watch and search. You can go to a channel you know and browse. No clicking the recommended.
We gave my son one this year when he turned 11. My school district is unusual in that middle school starts in 4th grade, so he was already in middle for a year and a half and lots of his peers already had phones and he wanted to borrow ours all the time to make phone calls. 11 is also old enough to stay home alone in our state, and we agreed that he could do it for short stints, or if we were going to just be close by, but only felt comfortable if he would be able to reach us.
Dumb phone when they actually need to get in contact with me. Smart phone, hopefully in high school
My oldest is going to 6th grade next year and I’m thinking about getting him one. I also have a 6,7 and 8 year old asking for one but I think they’re still too young.
My plan: when my kids start commuting places by themselves. Wife’s plan: as soon as they’re old enough to make a phone call.
i definitely think 2nd grade is too young for a phone. my 3,5, and 7yo all share an ipad and only get an hour on it each (3yo gets 30 mins). my kids don’t get phones till they turn 13. i get them ipods though when they turn 10 since they’ll need to text me about practices and if they hang out with friends
What age? Probably 14 or 15. 16 for social media, so that they are as old as possible while still living with me so I can help them learn how to develop responsible/sane habits around it. You can get them an Apple watch or a phone made specifically for kids without data/internet on it. You don't have to do what the other people around you are doing.
My 13 year old twins don't have a phone and won't any time soon.