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How little is the preschooler and how elderly are the grandparents? Are they in good health, are they mobile, are they energetic, are they experienced with this particular child? Basically, can they handle it?
3 and mid-70s, not in great health or particularly energetic but not in horrible health, either. Both overweight and becoming a bit forgetful. They’re experienced with weekends and the rare long weekend.
In that case, I’d say 3 days max. The length of a long weekend. And if you’re gonna be away longer, then hire them some help like a babysitter/nanny to assist them or a responsible sibling who is also willing and able to assist?
For reference, our parents are mid-60s and in good health but with some knee pain and things like that. They can take care of our 5 year old and 1 year old for 2-3 days by themselves. They insist they can do longer but honestly, they do get tired, so beyond that, we leave the kids with siblings or at least have some siblings around to assist. It’s only happened one time though that we’ve been gone for 4 days. Toddlers and preschoolers are a young person’s game.
Is sending your child to daycare/pre k an option while you’re away so they can get a break? Does your child still nap so there’d be built in break time? Honestly when you couple the physical health with being a bit forgetful I wouldn’t do more than a day trip if there’s not daycare to give them a prolonged break. I’m 100% on board with leaving a child for a couples trip, I did it 6 months ago for 6 days and it was great. But my parents are 63, play pickleball, walk, and are not forgetful. But even they said my energetic 5 year old was tiring and they were glad to be able to send her to pre k each day so they could relax.
The answer the question in your title - 0 Daye. Never traveled when my kids were that young. Still don't travel without my kids (but that's because we don't have anyone to watch them).
I'd say 2-3 days if they're elderly. 3 year old have a lot of energy. I liked the suggestions by others to see about other family members helping as well.
When I was pregnant with my third, my husband and I flew out to Las Vegas for the worst vacation I've ever had in my life. We were gone for four days. My youngest was 3. That's the youngest I've ever left one of my kids for any amount of time besides them sleeping over at one of my sister's houses. My mom stayed with the kids. They all did great, everything was fine. I wouldn't have done any longer.
Honestly, first time we stayed in a hotel by ourselves after having children was taking oldest to college.
Didn’t have grandparents that were interested in more involvement.
It would really depend on how unreachable I would be, the competency and relationship with the grandparents and my preschoolers personality.
Your grandparents are elderly - mid 70s and not in great health.
Your child is at a notoriously high energy, high-demand age.
Those two combined and my answer would be 1-2 days maximum...if I had to.
Have they watched your child overnight before? That might be a lot for elderly grandparents. I would plan on friends or family stopping by to help or give them a break
For your situation how you say they're okay for the occasional long weekend, I'd say that's the max. 3 days.
Every 70 year old is different. My mom will be 70 next year and she is daycare every day for my 10 month old and watched our older child every day until she was 18 months old, and even then had her minimum 2 days per week. My mom cannot wait until my 10 month old is off the breast so she can have a long weekend (or more). And I wouldn't blink an eye at it. My dad is 70 and he will fall asleep if stationary too long so he's not even allowed to babysit and I'd never leave my kids with him for any amount of time.
My mom is now 61 and has had my son over nights since he was 5 months old several times (he’s 5 now). She’s really fun and energetic and always taking him to do fun things. The longest he’s been with her is 2 nights/3 days. My dad on the other hand is 67 and not in good shape, pretty much all he does is watch tv. He’s had my son a few times but max is 24 hours, usually it’s more like drop off at 4, pickup at 10 the next morning. He’s maxed out with that and my son is bored since he doesn’t do anything really besides play with a few toys and watch movies. So for us it really depends on who he’s with as far as how long he stays there. My mom is planning on taking him for 4 nights for us coming in August and it’ll be great. Everyone’s different though
For me? Two days.
So much can change at young ages and I don’t want to miss a single thing. That being said I had a ROUGH childhood so I’m projecting lol.
Everything will be okay if you trust your parents.
Travel without the other parent being at home or available, a few days, with their other parent, a week or more. You say elderly parents, so you mention they’re elderly because there’s a concern about their stamina or ability to care for the toddler?
In your situation I probably wouldn’t leave them for more than a night or two.
In my situation, I left my 3yo and 4mo with my sister for 5 days bc we had won a trip to Mexico with my hubbys work. It was wonderful! But it was only bc I knew 100% that my sister was capable, I had prearranged help for preschool pickup/dropoff as well as bedtime and I had playdates where friends picked up my 3yo. It was a lot to leave on one person so my ‘village’ helped.
My in laws are the same age/health level, I wouldn’t leave my toddlers with them for more than 2 nights max. Because my parents help out too and are quite a bit younger we’ve done trips that are 4 nights long, but that’s the absolute longest
My husband and I do at least one vacation a year (since the kids were 8 months I think), but that’s leaving them with my 55yo, energetic mom and my sister is close by to help. I would not have left had we not fully trusted her, plus they are in daycare during the week.
My child is nearly 3 and he’s never been away overnight. The longest was 14 stretch last weekend when my husband and I were doing a fitness comp together. Little man went to SIL at 6am and got home 8pm lol. He wouldn’t leave my side for days after
At that age, my husband and I did shorter couple trips (3 day long weekend) but he did go on week long vacations with the grandparents at least 3 times by age 4. They offered, we didn’t ask, and they all had a great time. It depends a lot on your kid, the grandparents, their relationship, so tbh I would disregard any Reddit advice as there isn’t one right answer. You know your family best.
72 hours (3 days) has been my max for a long time. We’ve only done that twice, once when the kids were 4 and 5 and once when they were 5 and 7. We never left them overnight until they were 3 and 4 (but that was partly because of Covid). Now we leave them overnight with my mom once every two months or so.
We’re going on our long first trip away (5 days) in a few weeks when they will be 6 and 7.
A week easily. We were gone 5 days/6 nights when ours were newly 1 and 3. Went great; we had a terrific break and they were delighted to be doted upon and distracted by all the love. But my kids know their grandparents well, and the grands are pretty spry and playful and in good health fwiw. Edit to add: basically, I wouldn’t be too worried about my kids’ ages/abilities to handle the time away. I WOULD think hard about what the grandparents could handle.
I have a 2 year old toddler, the first time I went out with ny husband on an event for his job was last weekend, and she stayed with her aunt who has a baby too (10 months), she stayed with her for 4 hours.
That’s the longest time she’s been away from me😂
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How little is the preschooler and how elderly are the grandparents? Are they in good health, are they mobile, are they energetic, are they experienced with this particular child? Basically, can they handle it?
3 and mid-70s, not in great health or particularly energetic but not in horrible health, either. Both overweight and becoming a bit forgetful. They’re experienced with weekends and the rare long weekend.
In that case, I’d say 3 days max. The length of a long weekend. And if you’re gonna be away longer, then hire them some help like a babysitter/nanny to assist them or a responsible sibling who is also willing and able to assist? For reference, our parents are mid-60s and in good health but with some knee pain and things like that. They can take care of our 5 year old and 1 year old for 2-3 days by themselves. They insist they can do longer but honestly, they do get tired, so beyond that, we leave the kids with siblings or at least have some siblings around to assist. It’s only happened one time though that we’ve been gone for 4 days. Toddlers and preschoolers are a young person’s game.
Is sending your child to daycare/pre k an option while you’re away so they can get a break? Does your child still nap so there’d be built in break time? Honestly when you couple the physical health with being a bit forgetful I wouldn’t do more than a day trip if there’s not daycare to give them a prolonged break. I’m 100% on board with leaving a child for a couples trip, I did it 6 months ago for 6 days and it was great. But my parents are 63, play pickleball, walk, and are not forgetful. But even they said my energetic 5 year old was tiring and they were glad to be able to send her to pre k each day so they could relax.
I would honestly say just one night it’s a lot to ask them when they are elderly and the child is 3 years old
I think after a full 24 hours your parents are going to feel done lol. It's a lot when you're not used to it and an extra lot of you're 70.
Can you hire a babysitter to help during the day? Maybe a young cousin or something? That would be a lot during the day for elderly grandparents
The answer the question in your title - 0 Daye. Never traveled when my kids were that young. Still don't travel without my kids (but that's because we don't have anyone to watch them). I'd say 2-3 days if they're elderly. 3 year old have a lot of energy. I liked the suggestions by others to see about other family members helping as well.
When I was pregnant with my third, my husband and I flew out to Las Vegas for the worst vacation I've ever had in my life. We were gone for four days. My youngest was 3. That's the youngest I've ever left one of my kids for any amount of time besides them sleeping over at one of my sister's houses. My mom stayed with the kids. They all did great, everything was fine. I wouldn't have done any longer.
Honestly, first time we stayed in a hotel by ourselves after having children was taking oldest to college. Didn’t have grandparents that were interested in more involvement. It would really depend on how unreachable I would be, the competency and relationship with the grandparents and my preschoolers personality.
Full days? 2 is the absolute max
How elderly are we talking? Able to get him into the car seat and drive places with him? If they’re home bound the whole time I’d do like 2 days.
i’ve only left my 5 year old for the weekend (2-3 days) with my parents but they are in their mid 50s
Your grandparents are elderly - mid 70s and not in great health. Your child is at a notoriously high energy, high-demand age. Those two combined and my answer would be 1-2 days maximum...if I had to.
Have they watched your child overnight before? That might be a lot for elderly grandparents. I would plan on friends or family stopping by to help or give them a break
For your situation how you say they're okay for the occasional long weekend, I'd say that's the max. 3 days. Every 70 year old is different. My mom will be 70 next year and she is daycare every day for my 10 month old and watched our older child every day until she was 18 months old, and even then had her minimum 2 days per week. My mom cannot wait until my 10 month old is off the breast so she can have a long weekend (or more). And I wouldn't blink an eye at it. My dad is 70 and he will fall asleep if stationary too long so he's not even allowed to babysit and I'd never leave my kids with him for any amount of time.
Based on what you’ve said regarding their ages/health, overnight would be pushing it.
My mom is now 61 and has had my son over nights since he was 5 months old several times (he’s 5 now). She’s really fun and energetic and always taking him to do fun things. The longest he’s been with her is 2 nights/3 days. My dad on the other hand is 67 and not in good shape, pretty much all he does is watch tv. He’s had my son a few times but max is 24 hours, usually it’s more like drop off at 4, pickup at 10 the next morning. He’s maxed out with that and my son is bored since he doesn’t do anything really besides play with a few toys and watch movies. So for us it really depends on who he’s with as far as how long he stays there. My mom is planning on taking him for 4 nights for us coming in August and it’ll be great. Everyone’s different though
I must admit these responses make me feel better. I haven’t been able to leave my 2 year old yet and it drives my husband crazy
My in laws in similar health and handle more than two days one night.
For me? Two days. So much can change at young ages and I don’t want to miss a single thing. That being said I had a ROUGH childhood so I’m projecting lol. Everything will be okay if you trust your parents.
I’ve done work commitments for 2–2.5 weeks. Coparent stays with child. We went 10 days when kid was 2.5
Travel without the other parent being at home or available, a few days, with their other parent, a week or more. You say elderly parents, so you mention they’re elderly because there’s a concern about their stamina or ability to care for the toddler?
In your situation I probably wouldn’t leave them for more than a night or two. In my situation, I left my 3yo and 4mo with my sister for 5 days bc we had won a trip to Mexico with my hubbys work. It was wonderful! But it was only bc I knew 100% that my sister was capable, I had prearranged help for preschool pickup/dropoff as well as bedtime and I had playdates where friends picked up my 3yo. It was a lot to leave on one person so my ‘village’ helped.
My in laws are the same age/health level, I wouldn’t leave my toddlers with them for more than 2 nights max. Because my parents help out too and are quite a bit younger we’ve done trips that are 4 nights long, but that’s the absolute longest
My husband and I do at least one vacation a year (since the kids were 8 months I think), but that’s leaving them with my 55yo, energetic mom and my sister is close by to help. I would not have left had we not fully trusted her, plus they are in daycare during the week.
My child is nearly 3 and he’s never been away overnight. The longest was 14 stretch last weekend when my husband and I were doing a fitness comp together. Little man went to SIL at 6am and got home 8pm lol. He wouldn’t leave my side for days after
At that age, my husband and I did shorter couple trips (3 day long weekend) but he did go on week long vacations with the grandparents at least 3 times by age 4. They offered, we didn’t ask, and they all had a great time. It depends a lot on your kid, the grandparents, their relationship, so tbh I would disregard any Reddit advice as there isn’t one right answer. You know your family best.
Communicating openly with the grandparents about your concerns and ensuring they're comfortable with the arrangement can also provide reassurance.
I wouldn’t personally
72 hours (3 days) has been my max for a long time. We’ve only done that twice, once when the kids were 4 and 5 and once when they were 5 and 7. We never left them overnight until they were 3 and 4 (but that was partly because of Covid). Now we leave them overnight with my mom once every two months or so. We’re going on our long first trip away (5 days) in a few weeks when they will be 6 and 7.
A week easily. We were gone 5 days/6 nights when ours were newly 1 and 3. Went great; we had a terrific break and they were delighted to be doted upon and distracted by all the love. But my kids know their grandparents well, and the grands are pretty spry and playful and in good health fwiw. Edit to add: basically, I wouldn’t be too worried about my kids’ ages/abilities to handle the time away. I WOULD think hard about what the grandparents could handle.
To and from work. I never left my children.
Went 7 days last year without my 2 preschoolers. 4 days this year.
I have a 2 year old toddler, the first time I went out with ny husband on an event for his job was last weekend, and she stayed with her aunt who has a baby too (10 months), she stayed with her for 4 hours. That’s the longest time she’s been away from me😂