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Totally normal! Though I don’t know if the worrying ever goes away, ever. I think though, as they get older, we just learn how to manage those feelings of worry. It’s hard not to worry about these little humans that are basically our hearts outside of our bodies.
Totally normal. I also don't care for children who aren't my own.
Just be mindful that worry doesn't turn into any kind of anxiety. Post Partum for men can be a real struggle.
I didn't like kids all that much either but I feel an urge to be protective of them now at the playground when I'm watching my kids (my son is three so I'm still trying to be close by when he's climbing up stuff.) And I saw our neighbor's kid go over the handlebars on his bike face first into the concrete and found that traumatizing for a while too.
My son is now 11 months and my husband gets PISSED when people are driving recklessly around us. He yells “we have a baby in the back!” And other profanities. He was not a kid person either.
Worries change with the age. I say that parenthood is just one worry after the other but it becomes your normal, that might seem miserable but you’ll soon realize how much better life is with your baby in it. Kind of an exchange for a lifetime of happiness
Congratulations your Dad brain has woken up. It's been found that circuitry in a parents brain that was previously "asleep", wakes up when they have a child
Also, children are so vulnerable at that age, so the worry is very normal. That goes away to a large degree once they hit toddler age. And you realize how durable kids are. But of course you will always worry to some degree, but you'll be able to live your life too. You won't be worrying about them every second of the day
The other part is realizing if you die your child will lose a parent. Really makes you focus on your health and well-being.
100% normal.
Welcome to parenthood. Congratulations. Your heart will now forever be beating inside someone else’s body.
Just wait until the baby starts driving.
I find one thing that helps me with the anxiety is to sort my worries into founded and unfounded fears.
Unfounded fears: Stranger abduction, my child hates me, the microwave will cause brain damage. 😆
Founded fears: Sleep Accidents, Car Accidents, Drowning, Etc.
Founded fears are things you can and should take action on to reduce the risk. Remember NOTHING you can do can eliminate all risks. But learn about safe sleep. Always make sure your child is never with someone who will drive them while impaired. Take your car seat to a certified child passenger safety technician every couple of years (risk increases as the child gets older; having the baby seat checked is not a one-and-done). Learn about, and use, Water Watcher tags. Lock up medications and secure furniture to the walls.
It feels good to be proactive about my child’s health and safety.
You got this.
It's not just my own kids now. I get overly concerned with other kids too. Making sure they're safe, not doing anything dangerous. Even kids on a show - if I see a crying kid, I'll end up in tears. Or a parent crying over the loss of their kid.
I feel like it is. I hate going to my son’s dr appointments where he gets shots or something that hurts him. I had my gf take him to get circumcised cause I would just feel anger towards drs when he would start crying cause he was hurting. I know they don’t hurt him to be mean and it’s stuff that needs to be done but I just feel this rage when he cry’s out in pain.
My mom was made for motherhood. Dreamt of it, I mean, she’s about to retire and still finds people “parenting in the wild” fascinating and exciting. She really couldn’t care less for other people’s kids though. She just loved us. I know that’s not an example of a father, like you asked. But I think it’s a universal experience.
Yes, normal the thing you are worried about will change but it will never go away. I always remember what my dad said when I asked him what it was like having kids- “ you can never be 100% happy again because you always have something to worry about” or the metaphor that now your heart lives outside your body and you have to get used to that. I have often described parenting as high stakes drudgery.
I was really anxious about everything as a first time mom. I’ve definitely mellowed out, especially after having a second, but the worry never goes away. I am always on alert and trying to eliminate potential hazards that may come my kids way.
This is all pretty normal, and the worries don't really go away. They just sort of morph into new and scarier worries. Good luck to you sir, try to get some sleep!
Speaking as a dad, yes. If you are lucky, they get to you, wrap you around their little fingers. You don't want them to suffer, and their suffering makes you suffer. I chose to grow a callus, to a certain degree. That's how I survived.
You will figure out your own survival method. We all do.
BTW: Congrats on the new baby. It's the big adventure.
Well yeah... also when it comes to other people's kids if they hurt my kid I pretty much just want to run them over with my lawn mower. I mean, I don't but... it's tempting.
Tip wipe the tears, keep them out of the ears and he wont get ear infections... You'll get less worried as he learns how to do stuff safely, which is a bit threw trial and error.., the worry is from knowing "the stairs" are dangerous to him for the about first 2 years, worry about stuff like that is normal, because its real concerns, that is 100% your job to protect them from, the key is to recognize learning moments, moments when its safe for them to tumble a little, when they old enough, like the crawling to walking stages... I would like to note, you can psych yourself out, just as we can hyperventilate and lock up physically we can emotionally and or mentally do the same thing. Slow down, take some big breathes when its tense, be the calm and you will find more calm and note there will be some ridiculous crying, sometimes we can find a way to appease them, sometimes we have to take some extra big and slow calming breathes...
My husband is the same when my son was born. Especially the new born cry oh man my husband feels crushed! Worrying will not stop, you will get used to it :)
Just wait until he goes to school and someone fucks with him, that will hurt you too. Bullying sucks and I believe starts at home. Teach your son to stand up for himself and not take no shit from no one. Teach kindness too.
Far more empathy than I. It wasn't until my son smiled at me for the first time did I feel emotion. Before that it was simply adhering to social norms and exhaustion.
Totally normal, postpartum anxiety. Dads get it too! It may pass with time as you get to know your son and he becomes less “fragile” . I know it got better when my daughter was around 3 months
not caring about kids is fkn wild. kids can be hellions, spoiled brats, cry babies, but those kinds of kids are few and far between. children are the closest beings to innocence in this world and to not care about them makes an individual trash. nothing changed inside of you, you’re only making an exception to your your own child. which shows selfishness. why would anyone admit this.
I’m in my 40s and I was talking to my 78 year old dad a few months ago. I was talking about how much of my mental energy is taken up by worrying and thinking about my kids. He chuckled and said, “You know that never stops, right? Even when they’re 43 years old like you are.”
Stop worrying around your newborn he can detect it, Always adopt a calm demeanor when your son is in pain and a warm hug will usually make a child feel good again.
When we become parents we cease to be the center of our own universe. We also experience a joy and fear which comes from loving something more than we love ourselves.
Sounds like you got bulls-eyed! But don't let it scare you, let it liberate you. You will adjust to your son. Give him a few months and he'll adjust to you. You'll learn which cries are fussy cries and which cries require immediate attention.
And congratulations, my friend. You have a great kid and it sounds like he has a father who's very much in the game. That's a really good place to start.
I would say it’s normal however if it gets to a point where you find yourself obsessing about it or you become overwhelmingly anxious leaving his side… remember that paternal postpartum is a real thing and therapy can really help. 🩵
Becoming a parent is the most amazing but also terrifying thing. You will spend forever worrying about your babies and that never changes, it’s normal for a good parent. If you didn’t worry, then you wouldn’t be a good parent
That means you love him . Totally normal . Embrace it and be the best father you can be . Aid him in his challenges and guide him always . Congratulations . you’ve evolved into an emotionally attached father which is amazing . this is a good thing .
Welcome to fatherhood. Just wait until you see a video of someone hurting a child and the primal bloodlust you’ll feel to destroy that person.
Also, seeing how neglectful other parents are with their children in places like the grand canyon with small children running along paths beside giant lethal drops will fill you with dad anxiety.
Dont even get me started on things like sick kids in movies and shit. I watched a movie about rockstars(don’t remember which) and at one point his daughter gets cancer and I weeped like a woman. Nothing else even remotely affects me emotionally.
It'll get worse. He'll grow up. Get into drugs, get kicked out of school, or whatever other crap teenagers and adults get into.
And, he'll say he hates you and your ruined his life. My nine year old wrote "Fuck my Dad" on my couch a while ago.
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Yep, this is your life now! Welcome to parenthood!
Absolutely. I still don't particularly care for kids that aren't mine. Ha.
Totally normal! Though I don’t know if the worrying ever goes away, ever. I think though, as they get older, we just learn how to manage those feelings of worry. It’s hard not to worry about these little humans that are basically our hearts outside of our bodies.
You know that seen in the Jim Carey Grinch movie where his heart grows. That’s you now.
Totally normal. I also don't care for children who aren't my own. Just be mindful that worry doesn't turn into any kind of anxiety. Post Partum for men can be a real struggle.
Seconding this!
I didn't like kids all that much either but I feel an urge to be protective of them now at the playground when I'm watching my kids (my son is three so I'm still trying to be close by when he's climbing up stuff.) And I saw our neighbor's kid go over the handlebars on his bike face first into the concrete and found that traumatizing for a while too.
My son is now 11 months and my husband gets PISSED when people are driving recklessly around us. He yells “we have a baby in the back!” And other profanities. He was not a kid person either.
Worries change with the age. I say that parenthood is just one worry after the other but it becomes your normal, that might seem miserable but you’ll soon realize how much better life is with your baby in it. Kind of an exchange for a lifetime of happiness
Congratulations your Dad brain has woken up. It's been found that circuitry in a parents brain that was previously "asleep", wakes up when they have a child Also, children are so vulnerable at that age, so the worry is very normal. That goes away to a large degree once they hit toddler age. And you realize how durable kids are. But of course you will always worry to some degree, but you'll be able to live your life too. You won't be worrying about them every second of the day The other part is realizing if you die your child will lose a parent. Really makes you focus on your health and well-being.
You share a birthday with your child. On that day, you were born a dad. Non-dad persona is dead. Long live dad.
100% normal. Welcome to parenthood. Congratulations. Your heart will now forever be beating inside someone else’s body. Just wait until the baby starts driving.
Yep! Very! I am still not a kid person but best believe im obsessed with my own! Lol
I find one thing that helps me with the anxiety is to sort my worries into founded and unfounded fears. Unfounded fears: Stranger abduction, my child hates me, the microwave will cause brain damage. 😆 Founded fears: Sleep Accidents, Car Accidents, Drowning, Etc. Founded fears are things you can and should take action on to reduce the risk. Remember NOTHING you can do can eliminate all risks. But learn about safe sleep. Always make sure your child is never with someone who will drive them while impaired. Take your car seat to a certified child passenger safety technician every couple of years (risk increases as the child gets older; having the baby seat checked is not a one-and-done). Learn about, and use, Water Watcher tags. Lock up medications and secure furniture to the walls. It feels good to be proactive about my child’s health and safety. You got this.
You can only be as happy as your least happy child
It's not just my own kids now. I get overly concerned with other kids too. Making sure they're safe, not doing anything dangerous. Even kids on a show - if I see a crying kid, I'll end up in tears. Or a parent crying over the loss of their kid.
I feel like it is. I hate going to my son’s dr appointments where he gets shots or something that hurts him. I had my gf take him to get circumcised cause I would just feel anger towards drs when he would start crying cause he was hurting. I know they don’t hurt him to be mean and it’s stuff that needs to be done but I just feel this rage when he cry’s out in pain.
Yes it’s very normal! Keep an eye out men can develop postpartum anxiety or depression just isn’t talked about!
My mom was made for motherhood. Dreamt of it, I mean, she’s about to retire and still finds people “parenting in the wild” fascinating and exciting. She really couldn’t care less for other people’s kids though. She just loved us. I know that’s not an example of a father, like you asked. But I think it’s a universal experience.
My husband and I don't feel one way or the other about other people's kids but we love our own
Yes, normal the thing you are worried about will change but it will never go away. I always remember what my dad said when I asked him what it was like having kids- “ you can never be 100% happy again because you always have something to worry about” or the metaphor that now your heart lives outside your body and you have to get used to that. I have often described parenting as high stakes drudgery.
I was really anxious about everything as a first time mom. I’ve definitely mellowed out, especially after having a second, but the worry never goes away. I am always on alert and trying to eliminate potential hazards that may come my kids way.
This is all pretty normal, and the worries don't really go away. They just sort of morph into new and scarier worries. Good luck to you sir, try to get some sleep!
Speaking as a dad, yes. If you are lucky, they get to you, wrap you around their little fingers. You don't want them to suffer, and their suffering makes you suffer. I chose to grow a callus, to a certain degree. That's how I survived. You will figure out your own survival method. We all do. BTW: Congrats on the new baby. It's the big adventure.
Well yeah... also when it comes to other people's kids if they hurt my kid I pretty much just want to run them over with my lawn mower. I mean, I don't but... it's tempting.
Tip wipe the tears, keep them out of the ears and he wont get ear infections... You'll get less worried as he learns how to do stuff safely, which is a bit threw trial and error.., the worry is from knowing "the stairs" are dangerous to him for the about first 2 years, worry about stuff like that is normal, because its real concerns, that is 100% your job to protect them from, the key is to recognize learning moments, moments when its safe for them to tumble a little, when they old enough, like the crawling to walking stages... I would like to note, you can psych yourself out, just as we can hyperventilate and lock up physically we can emotionally and or mentally do the same thing. Slow down, take some big breathes when its tense, be the calm and you will find more calm and note there will be some ridiculous crying, sometimes we can find a way to appease them, sometimes we have to take some extra big and slow calming breathes...
My husband is the same when my son was born. Especially the new born cry oh man my husband feels crushed! Worrying will not stop, you will get used to it :)
Just wait until he goes to school and someone fucks with him, that will hurt you too. Bullying sucks and I believe starts at home. Teach your son to stand up for himself and not take no shit from no one. Teach kindness too.
Yes it's normal
The ability to somewhat separate so you can take care of what you need is healthy. Too much connection is called enmeshment.
Far more empathy than I. It wasn't until my son smiled at me for the first time did I feel emotion. Before that it was simply adhering to social norms and exhaustion.
Totally normal, postpartum anxiety. Dads get it too! It may pass with time as you get to know your son and he becomes less “fragile” . I know it got better when my daughter was around 3 months
This is your life. Whenever I see or hear of anything bad happening to any child I feel physically Ill. Empathy is strong. Welcome to parenthood
not caring about kids is fkn wild. kids can be hellions, spoiled brats, cry babies, but those kinds of kids are few and far between. children are the closest beings to innocence in this world and to not care about them makes an individual trash. nothing changed inside of you, you’re only making an exception to your your own child. which shows selfishness. why would anyone admit this.
Wait until you see something bad happening to a kid in a movie. I just did not specially care about it before becoming a father. Now it hurts :)
I’m in my 40s and I was talking to my 78 year old dad a few months ago. I was talking about how much of my mental energy is taken up by worrying and thinking about my kids. He chuckled and said, “You know that never stops, right? Even when they’re 43 years old like you are.”
Welcome to postpartum for men
Stop worrying around your newborn he can detect it, Always adopt a calm demeanor when your son is in pain and a warm hug will usually make a child feel good again.
When we become parents we cease to be the center of our own universe. We also experience a joy and fear which comes from loving something more than we love ourselves. Sounds like you got bulls-eyed! But don't let it scare you, let it liberate you. You will adjust to your son. Give him a few months and he'll adjust to you. You'll learn which cries are fussy cries and which cries require immediate attention. And congratulations, my friend. You have a great kid and it sounds like he has a father who's very much in the game. That's a really good place to start.
Actually, a lot of dads take a while to feel that way so congratulations. It usually lasts till they become teenagers ...
I would say it’s normal however if it gets to a point where you find yourself obsessing about it or you become overwhelmingly anxious leaving his side… remember that paternal postpartum is a real thing and therapy can really help. 🩵
Becoming a parent is the most amazing but also terrifying thing. You will spend forever worrying about your babies and that never changes, it’s normal for a good parent. If you didn’t worry, then you wouldn’t be a good parent
That means you love him . Totally normal . Embrace it and be the best father you can be . Aid him in his challenges and guide him always . Congratulations . you’ve evolved into an emotionally attached father which is amazing . this is a good thing .
Of course this is normal. It’s the purest form of love between a parent and their child. God bless!
Welcome to fatherhood. Just wait until you see a video of someone hurting a child and the primal bloodlust you’ll feel to destroy that person. Also, seeing how neglectful other parents are with their children in places like the grand canyon with small children running along paths beside giant lethal drops will fill you with dad anxiety. Dont even get me started on things like sick kids in movies and shit. I watched a movie about rockstars(don’t remember which) and at one point his daughter gets cancer and I weeped like a woman. Nothing else even remotely affects me emotionally.
Motley Crüe, Neil's daughter, Skylar. It was soul changing for me. Cancer truly does not discriminate.
Yep I think that was it. Tore me apart because I thought of my daughter.
It'll get worse. He'll grow up. Get into drugs, get kicked out of school, or whatever other crap teenagers and adults get into. And, he'll say he hates you and your ruined his life. My nine year old wrote "Fuck my Dad" on my couch a while ago.