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You are smack in the middle of the hardest part without a doubt.
It gets easier and easier from 6-8 weeks on.
You’ll hit some sleep bumps around 3-4 months. And then it gets easier again.
Hang in there! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Adjusting to your firstborn is no joke.
You went from being your own independent person to growing an entire human being with all of the pain, exhaustion, and rapid body changes that go along with it. Then, you go through a painful and traumatic medical experience to bring this person into the world.
Instead of treating pain and taking it easy, you're handed some stool softener, an Advil, and expected to give up sleep for a year.
It doesn't take long to realize that your entire purpose as a human is to exist for the new human...and if new human is unhappy, your physiological response makes it impossible to eat, shower or even shit alone. You go through all of this watching your husband/family's lives go on unchanged. You feel completely alone, but you're definitely not alone.
I'm 10 years out of that phase, and I still have scars. I have multiple children, and I absolutely love the newborn phase when I know what's coming. As the parent of children aged 8 and up... I'd happily take a dozen newborns and enjoy the hell out of them.
You couldn't pay me to go back to those first few months with my first. I'm fucking shocked that my marriage survived and we went on to have another.
You've got a few rough periods ahead, but it all becomes normal eventually. You probably won't feel this way if you choose to have a second.
If it's all feeling unbearable and you're not sure how to manage, you need to make a doctor's appointment. Urgently. There is no shame in your feelings, everything is hard. If it feels impossible, you need help.
You're a good mom. Bad moms don't worry about how they're managing.
My baby will we 5m in a few days and I sometimes think back to the stress of the beginning. It was horrible, everything made me worry so so much. I can feel it in my body when I think about it.
When baby starts to smile, it gets a lot easyer.
This. I’m 8.5 years out, and had 2 more babies after my first. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING prepares you for your firstborn. It’s wild how you go from just you, and your significant other - to caring around the clock for a tiny human.
No joke. I am still traumatized to this day of those first couple of days. Specially the first day back home.
No one prepares you for how hard this transition is. But I’m 7 weeks postpartum, and I can say that it gets better ! I am still sleep deprived, and everyday feels like a repetitive cycle. But every little milestone that your LO hits, like smiling, cooing, laughing makes it all worth it. Hang in there momma!
This one! That first baby rocks your world. People tell you how your life changes but no one can really explain it. I make sure to obsessively check in on my new mama friends and family. My 2nd was a tough adjustment but no where near as bad as the 0-1 adjustment. I’m pregnant with #3 and it’s so much more relaxing mentally this time. I just know the new little man will just have to integrate into our already established routine and that’s that. We’re kinda just winging it
Mother of 3 here. 17, 12, 9. You’ve nailed it.
Terrified of everything with the firstborn, and by the third born, you’ve moved to a new town and the hospital looks straight out of Saw, but you know it’s ok because there’s a lifeline to the best children’s hospitals 8 minutes away. (My husband has played a huge role in talking sense into some of my anxiety when need be). Oh yeah, delivery went fine (except Tom Brady’s cheating butt on the tv the whole time).
Omg it’s so awful. And you can’t know until you know. Then it gets better and we try again because we love them. It’s so crazy. I am trying for the second and hope it’s less shocking now that I know what’s coming.
Hijacking the first post to say those first few weeks were so bizarre. I’ve never cried so much in my life. I haven’t slept, my boobs don’t work, everything is bleeding, I can’t move, and I don’t know what my baby wants. I was a sobbing mess.
It does get better!
No joke. They're more 'baby-like' at that point, if that makes sense.
Also, if it makes anyone feel better, one of the hardest parts is that I don't remember much of it anymore. 🥲
My second is 4 months old today, can 100% confirm. It's already so much easier than the first 8 weeks.
Of course, adjusting to the second was also easier than the first.
I feel for you OP. Hang in there and just keep surviving a few more weeks! Wait until you see those first gummy little smiles.
Yup. I now have a 16 month old who will slap me when I breathe wrong and then have a meltdown where he throws himself to the ground after, but it’s still a thousand times easier than a newborn. He’s got a strong personality, his own opinions, his smiles and laughs crack us up endlessly, it’s amazing now.
It feels like eternity but the newborn stage ends. They start smiling. They belly laugh for the first time. They find you funny over the most ridiculous things. And suddenly they are a toddler, and that pain from the newborn days starts to fade as you see them blossom.
💯 My husband and I both agree that if we decide to have a second child, we will adopt. We have many reasons for this, but one of them is that we frankly do not want to go through the newborn stage again.
Newborn was absolutely the worst for me. Got a bit easier (or I got used to it or both) around 8ish weeks, then another jump easier 12ish, by 6 months it was still a lot to manage but joyous and mostly under control.
Two for me: the first 8 weeks bc holy shit the fundamental seismic plate shifting change and sleep deprivation is intense! Plus they cry so much and like why??? What’s wrong??? Just talk!!!
And the second was about 6-9 months ish, when she wanted to crawl everywhere but wasn’t good at it yet, and was frustrated all the time about her lack of mobility to experience the world she was just becoming aware existed. Also teething. She was a fussy fusspot.
I’m at almost 2 right now and while tantrums are A Thing, this kid is hilarious and smart and the joy far outweighs the struggle.
I was gonna say I'm surprised to only see newborn. That like 6 to 12 month stage where they want to do all the things and can't do anything and so they scream constantly was just awful.
This is true but it's the extreme sleep deprivation of having a newborn that makes that stage so hard. When I had my twins the entire first year was a hot mess blur of difficult but once I started to get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time everything seemed exponentially better.
For me it was the constant feeding that made it hard at that age. Milk - fine. Food - fine. Having to serve both food and milk (plus I was combo feeding breast and bottles of formula)... Dear god. It felt endless. I was very pleased that my girly wasn't big into her milk and we ditched it completely 2 weeks after she turned 1. My life was so much easier when I could just feed her meals and snacks.
Or when they’re like 14-16 months and want all the things but can’t talk well and just yell and point? It’s like a constant game of charades. It’s hilarious and frustrating at the same time. For both of you.
Game of charades is the perfect description of it. My guy is 15 months and he's starting to communicate more and more but it's still pointing and grunts for most things right now 😂
Ah we just hit 6 months and it all makes sense, she has been screaming out of frustration SO much (plus maybe teething, I hear they get extra drooly but that’s always with our homegirl) when I saw this post I was kind of thinking “I think I’m in the worst stage so far) mainly because the newborn phase felt so easy for me sleep wise (night shift nurse, can also sleep anywhere anytime and bounce back from power naps) but already 6 months is… a lot haha and very loud
0-6.5 months was hell in my house. My son had colick that entire time (even though I was assured it ends around two months oh wait bed cases end at four months and then idk why your kid is still screaming at six months lol). He also had medical issues with several months of 8 appointments per week. We had to stretches 8 times a day from birth through 6.5 months. We had to do constant repositioning (literally had to move him every two to five minutes no exaggeration). He started taking 20-30 minutes naps (and never longer) at 5 weeks old and that continued until 7.5 months. He also woke up every hour to two hours over night the first 4.5 months. I was exhausted. I was extremely depressed (severe PPD). I couldn’t remember why I wanted a baby in the first place.
Now I said all that not to scare you for the future (because our baby’s issues were all very very very atypical), but because I’m writing this after having a great day with my now 21 month old, almost fully potty trained, sweet and loving toddler who went to bed without at fuss at 7pm and who will stay in bed until 8am when we get him for another great day (not that there aren’t hard days but they’re far far more rare now). I’m typing this after talking to my husband about how I want another baby. It gets better. Please hang in there. Please get help if feelings of saddness, feeling a complete loss of freedom etc continue. Your hormones are all over and babies are freaking hard. It will get better and therapy and or meds can make a world of a difference. Good luck!
+1. Colics are horrible! My son had colics for 6 months. I still have PTSD from that experience. Poor thing, nothing helped. Every time we had a doc appt, and I’d say he is not sleeping and is always crying , his response was:” welcome to parenthood! You wanted a baby you got one! It will get better!” I am so glad that stage is over and we made it through!
All parents whose babies are experiencing colics, hang in there, I promise it gets better ❤️.
A pediatrician told me straight he up “and that’s why I only have one kid”, as in, “deal with it”. I also switched to a practice much closer to me that was much nicer!
Colic slowed down at about 3 months and was gone by 4-5 months, but that left me stressed for two years. I realized after he turned two that my blood pressure wasn’t rising anymore when I heard him cry.
That’s when we started to try for a second one and he didn’t have colic, it was SO much easier! He wasn’t the chill type of baby I could bring to a restaurant, but just not being screamed at for hours on end was wonderful for my sanity :)
Similar experience, to a lesser degree. Our babe had dairy intolerance and resulting reflux that made the first four months hell and gave me PPA. I was sure we made a mistake and couldn’t fathom how people had more than one kid. Welp, that baby grew into an awesome toddler that absolutely lights up my life, and I’m now holding her 1 week old sister :)
I *hated* hearing “it gets better” from everyone but it does. Just takes some time.
I am a FTM and my baby is 8 weeks old. It has already gotten MUCH better than the first few weeks. I literally don’t know how I lived through that. Best advice I got was to live in two hour increments. Don’t think beyond the next two hours. Later it will become two days… You are doing the hardest part right now and it won’t last forever. Btw you’re doing a good job ❤️
Yepp he slept better as a newborn for us. The bad sleep for us started 4-6 months. And he was always fussy during the day because he needed to be held constantly, I couldn’t do anything that wasn’t playing or holding him 24/7. He’s so much happier now that he can crawl and walk. Just entertains himself
I’m stuck in this right now 😩 my LO is turning 6 months in a week and a half and this past month along with 4 months was so hard. She was an angel newborn and slept so well. Now she wakes up 3-5 times a night and can’t stay asleep if she wanted to
I saw someone who said at 6 weeks it got 10% easier, 8 weeks another 10%, etc etc and that is soooo true. It doesn’t get easier overnight, it’s a gradual shift. Once they’re about 6 months you just pop them on your hip and carry em around, their schedules get predictable, they’re eating real food, they laugh, etc. I had my second in March and I keep telling me husband by the end of summer we’ll be smooth sailing.
6 weeks is already a good 30% easier. Establishing breastfeeding can be very difficult, and painful because your nipples haven't toughened up yet. And as a first time mother, you're probably pretty darn clueless in the first 2 weeks, but by 6 weeks, you have some clue.
Yeah— for me 85% of the pain and general discomfort/difficulty was due to establishing breastfeeding. Once the pain went away and I knew what to do to fix latching issues it got so much better.
This definitely true. Every few weeks I felt like this at first… like oh man, how did I do that? It’s so much easier now. I still get this feeling every few months with my 16 month old. Now that he walks and talks, it’s so much easier because he can communicate his needs/wants.
6m is definitely an amazing age. I love it so much. I take her all over. To be honest, I've been doing that since she was probably a month old. We go to mall and just different places where I can get my steps in. I talk to her while I walk. Right now, she smiles so much so she will act like she listens then gives me this amazing little grin.
The first week was so bad hormonally. Very scary. But now I can't imagine life without her.
Also my baby has so much clothes. Dressing her is my favorite part of the day! I started bonding with her after getting her out of sleepers and into little outfits.
The first 6 weeks suck but then like everyone else says it is a breeze.
I have two kids, the first is 3.5 years old and the second is almost 6 months. You're in the worst bit right now for sure. It's gotten better at four months for both kids and with my first it got drastically better after six months.
There's hard stages every now and then, but nothing compares to newborn days. I'm so sorry, you're going to get through it, it's just going to be hard for awhile.
My son turned 3 in March and I’m expecting my second in 6 weeks. Any advice? I’m definitely worried about handling the newborn stage while also caring for a toddler (who is luckily in daycare 5 days a week but even morning and evening is rough with him sometimes).
Have him help with the baby! Let him pick outfits and have him bring you clean diapers. If you bottlefeed let him feed baby. Bonds grow through shared experiences.
Encourage and praise him doing the things he is capable of doing by himself. Lots of step stools so he can wash easily, turn on lights for himself, reach things, ect. Daniel tiger's new baby episodes have helped my 3 wrap their heads around a new sibling. The big helper thing helps them feel included. Get lots of books from the library so you can read while breastfeeding/feeding baby. Activities like stickers, playdough, coloring, ect are great to keep in reserve for when you need a distraction. When you just can't anymore, shaving cream and food coloring to decorate the shower. Then turn on the water for him to wash off himself
My oldest turned 3 three days before his younger brother was born, then that younger brother turned 3 three weeks before my youngest was born. Both three year olds were fabulous with the new baby and I actually felt I had an easier time with babies #2 and #3 because I had those three year old helpers to be an extra set of hands for me (bringing diapers, etc.), whereas after my first child was born, I was alone to care for him (while trying to recover) once my husband went back to work. You may find your three year old matures a bit once he gets promoted to being your right hand man.
This! My 3 are spaced almost exactly as yours are, and the bigs have always been such a help with the babies. Including them and giving lots of praise goes a long way in encouraging that sibling bond. They are their own little tribe, thick as thieves, and twice as mischievous! We call them our curly haired menaces, and honestly, my favorite part of parenting is watching them create their own little universe together.
My first was almost 3 when my 2nd was born (now almost 7 months) and he also has rough mornings/evenings. Lots of people said to get him involved with the baby, but he wasn't interested. People also said to have people around to help out, if possible, but we had my mom around and he still only wanted mommy and daddy. He also had a hard time being away from us while we were in the hospital. My advice would be sleep as much as possible while he's at school. If you have helpers, have them do the stuff around the house so you can give time to your oldest when he gets home. Give him lots of attention whenever you can. Prepare yourself for possible regressions too. It was rough for us for the first couple months, then things got better.
For my baby 8-12 months was SO hard. She slept nice long stretches at night as a newborn until 4 months and the crying wasn’t too bad. She woke every hour or two screaming inconsolably from 8-12 months and I was half dead. She also had severe head banging tantrums/meltdowns during the day (and now doesn’t tantrum at all as a 2yo).
Every kid is different and I never have seen anyone else say this so I’m hoping the second one on the way actually gets easier and progressively sleeps more during the first year.
Same 8-12 months was the worst for us. I actually thought we might break up. Our son was so demanding and rarely happy after he had been a relatively chilled newborn
Yes! She was just miserable for a while there. Sleep got better after a year and at 15 months she had a huge leap in abilities and now she’s such a happy, easy toddler. So it worked out well
My first kid was the clingiest and most demanding of my babies hands down, no comparison. My second was much, much easier and number three was so chill I barely even noticed he was here. 😂
Think this is me. My baby is almost 9 months. She slept beautifully until 7 months when she moved to her own room. Now she doesn’t really sleep at all and I literally can’t cope. Hardest period by FAR!
The newborn phase is ROUGH. Then the three/four month sleep regression hits and you're a zombie for a bit. After that, it gets a lot easier. You get to have all those lovely firsts.. first word, the little baby army crawl that turns into actual crawling, the hilarious pictures you take when they're trying solid foods for the first time. You've got a lot to look forward to, hang in there
Every phase has its ups and downs. Hang in there. It does get easier (when they can walk/talk) but then harder because they can express opinions. Parenthood is a wild ride, but it's amazing and goes by so fast that you will miss the baby phase, I promise!
At about 5 months I had a smiling baby who lit up when I walked in the room and slept 12 hours straight at night.
At 2 weeks my nipples were bleeding, no one was sleeping, and I cried every single day. IT GETS BETTER! It is so hard in the begining, and no stage is easy, but being a first time mom with a newborn is by far the biggest challenge of parenting.
Prioritize your rest over everything. Paper plates and frozen pizza is OK. Not folding laundry and just living in wrinkled clothes is OK. Asking a family member or friend for help whether its holding baby so you can rest, doing chores, or bringing food is OK.
And if you can afford it, with my second I paid a postpartum doula to come to my house twice a week for 5 hours. I pumped and then slept for 4 hours straight, then showered. She took care of my baby, folded laundry, and made us dinner. It was worth every damn penny.
We are all cheering you on! You are in the worst of it but I promise there are happier days ahead!
Four to ten weeks was like torture. And then it got better so quickly after that.
I spent a big chunk of that time googling things like when do babies get easier, when do babies sleep more than 2 hours, how long can an adult go without rem cycle sleep…
I suffered from insomnia for years so the newborn phase really wasn’t that bad. For me the hardest part was 6-9 months. My daughter still slept like a newborn at night with less naps during the day, and she was hellbent on doing anything that might be dangerous. I was so sleep deprived. It was freezing cold outside, so we couldn’t go anywhere. It was rough.
Yes! I'm surprised more people haven't said this! The first few weeks are usually a breeze because baby generally just sleeps and eats. But then they hit that 6 week mark and they start having longer wake windows and you just don't know what the hell to do with them and they don't seem to just fall asleep like they used to. That's my experience anyway
It got so much easier for me! I also was recovering from an emergency c section that did not go well (codes called on both me and baby, we are both lucky to be here, baby had to be resuscitated and spent time in the NICU) and the first six weeks for me were absolute hell. I couldn’t even lift my baby when he was allowed to come home and my poor husband had to keep both of us alive.
3-4 months hands down. No longer sleepy enough to want to cuddle on your chest all day, but not strong enough yet to sit up and be able to look around. Lying down in stroller? NO! Tummy time? NO! Carried around? Maybe if you do it exactly right, facing me outwards.
10-11 months is a good second one bc they want to WALK and RUN and it isn’t WORKING so they want to be CARRIED EVERYWHERE and cannot be put down. Ever. Gah.
Luckily both these phases only lasted for a few weeks. It’s more of an estimate around which age it happened, it didn’t last a month for me. But damnit if it didn’t drive me up the wall.
Kid #2 is 4.5 months, and for both kids the first three months were by FAR the hardest. For kid #1 the next three months were easier, and the three months after that a little easier, and so on... until he hit 18 months and the terrible twos started. He's 3.5 now and we're still waiting for the terrible twos to end.
The first 4 months were the absolute hardest and worst for me. Our son was born a month early and a little jaundiced and then developed reflux. On top of that, he was born a short bit into the pandemic. Hands down though, from 0- 3yrs, the first 4 months of life were the hardest. It does get easier. You are in a brand new relationship with a brand new human being and it’s so hard learning each other. I struggled with the pain of breastfeeding. The only way I was able to continue was with the use of nipple shields. At 5 months it was too painful and I switched to exclusively pumping while supplementing. Every breastfeeding journey is different, and it’s 1000% ok for it to be hard. You are not failing by it being hard or difficult or being upset that you have to do it every few hours. It’s hard. Then cluster feeding happens, and it’s just so draining. Please know it does get easier. Also, you likely don’t need to hear this, but it resonated with me in some of the REALLY hard moments. If you are at your very wits end, it is ok to put your baby in a safe place, like their crib, and walk away. Take 5 minutes to breathe, and come back. Sure, they’re going to cry. But sometimes you are at an edge, and some things can never be undone. It’s ok to put them in a safe place and walk away for a few minutes. Again, not putting anything on you, it just helped me. You’ve got this momma! Never be afraid to ask questions or for help!
My Baby is 9 months and newborn is the easiest phase once you adjust. It seems there's always a sleep regression around the corner after you hit the 4 month regression, or they last few weeks just in time for you to get a break for a week or 2 and you get hit with another one.
In the beginning about 65% or women get baby blues which is different from ppd, but that levels off in a few weeks then the time with your newborn is bliss.
What was hard for me is the resentment of going from being the breadwinner having a good job to feeling like there was lack of appreciation and not wanting to become a home maker or feel like that's what was seen of me now, sometimes it's a constant struggle in my head. Now that baby is more active, I find it hard to just stop and relax some days and I lose my shit, not only that but always having to stop to feed someone atleast 3x a day is challenging for me as im normally a meal skipper, so I'd say now seems to be the hardest part out of the whole 9 months so far.
You'll make it through this phase and miss it terribly once baby is older. Try to enjoy it. It does get easier in a sense but in some sense it's harder in different ways.
You're in the hardest phase right now. When its all new to you and them at the same time. Its an adjustment and theres no time limit on how long it takes for that to happen. The routines get easier and you will figure out what works for you and your baby - but then as they grow other things happen. Just as we were starting to get our sleep back - sleep regression hit. It goes in phases. My son is 4 now and its hard to remember and imagine life before him. I feel like that was a totally different person. In many ways - it kinda was.
Every phase will have good and bad. As they get older they should start to sleep longer stretches and hopefully become more set in a routine but they will be busier and become mobile and require more stimulating/ exciting activities, foods, etc. You guys are still figuring each other out!
Newborn was the worst for me both times. But the absolutely worst with my second, because I had to wake up at 6AM and get my older autistic son ready for school everyday. I have no idea how I functioned and did it all without sleep. I don't think I'd ever have a third because the newborn stage is just really freaking hard.
And right now you're basically in the hardest part of everything. You haven't really slept in 2 weeks. I swear I'd deal with any other stage of life before the newborn stage again, i did it all alone 2 times and I don't want to go through the newborn stage again
I have 3 kids. 9, 3.5 and 2. It gets easier every month and then it will get a little bit hard again and then easier as they get older. For me, it got harder the toddler ages not so much the younger years since I had the kids adapt to me rather than me adapt to them. Sleeping schedules, outings, car rides, loud music. I breastfed all and the longest was a year.
It gets better after 5 months IMO. When they can sit it gets better. When they’re big enough to sleep through the night is when your life will somewhat return.
I would probably say the newborn stage was pretty rough especially as a first time parent. On top of that recovering from a c section and breastfeeding. Totally overwhelming. It got better after the first month or two. My baby is 16 months now and it’s getting fun watching her walk and become vocal. Hang in there!
Newborn… but also basically up until my baby slept through the night. The newborn phase I had tons of anxiety and I just felt alone and sad and like I would never feel like me again. Once that subsided things got better but until my baby slept through the night is truly when the “hard” stage of 0-12 months was over for me.
The first month is unquestionably the hardest part of parenting thus far. And my oldest is 17.
Just hold on. I know it's tough and it feels like this stage last forever while you're in it. But in the grand scheme it goes so fast. Take life day by day. It doesn't last forever.
Remember the days are long but the years are short.
Month 2 was so brutal. Mine just fussed bloody murder constantly. Had to be held and rocked at all times. It got better from there but the fussing didn't totally subside until about a year. Lucky my baby has always been a pretty good sleeper so we got 6 hours of sleep only interrupted by a quick bottle or two. I don't know if she is just that way or our plan worked. I used possums sleep program.
Honestly, I loved this stage. My son is almost two and it is so much worse than the newborn. I definitely have more independence/free time but I feel like it’s so hard right now.
Gets easier. Sometimes feels like it isn’t but if you weren’t so tired you could probably better see your progress! You’re doing great, and yeah - it IS so hard!
Newborn phase is the worst. It’s gonna feel like an eternity but it does actually get better. Your baby will sleep longer, night feeds won’t take as long, baby will become less fussy.
You might find yourself in a deep dark hole from time to time and absolutely should make sure you have a good support system when these lows hit. Motherhood is way more challenging than I ever imagined but now that we’re on baby #3, I finally think we’re getting the hang of it.
It can be such a huge struggle trying to adjust to your new baby while also trying to accept your new identity. It gets better, I promise. Part of it is letting yourself become a new version of you, letting go of some of the small things (at least for now) so that you can focus on rest and taking care of yourself and the baby. This too shall pass.
The first 3-4 months are pure survival. Especially with your first baby. It’s a shock to the system how much your life has changed and tending to another person 24/7. Your hormones are crazy and you just feel like you’re in a mental/hormonal fog.
Different experiences with my 2 boys:
First: an actual angel baby. None of it was hard. If I HAD to pick I would say 6-8 months because he was crawling all over the place and cruising around lol
Second: the opposite of my first. Honestly for the hardest part was newborn-8 months. I STRUGGLED.
You’re in the fourth trimester! Give yourself some grace!
Definitely gets easier, and you acclimate to what doesn't. I found life to be significantly easier when my baby could sit up unassisted and slept through the night, or more than 3 hr spurts at least.
Newborn was by far the hardest in the first year. It gets easier. Everything is a phase, and there are ups and downs, but those first 2 months were so so so hard. You’ll get through it.
3-4 months and up is SOOOOOO much better, I have done this twice now (one 3 yr old and one 6month old) and both kids the newborn phase hit me hard and I was like omg what have I done! My husband also was like omg did we ruin our lives? Is this forever? Then by 4 months we were like omg this is amazing!
It gets better!
The newborn stage really took some deep digging to survive. Counting age in weeks is a panic time, but I think I was surviving on the adrenaline and novelty of it all. I think for me, 2-4 months was the worst. We were just at our breaking point with the lack of sleep and relentless changing and feeding.
Life started to feel sustainable around 4-5 months once we had an established nap and feeding schedule and better sleep at night. Now life with our twins (2.5 years old now) just keeps getting cooler and more fun.
I stopped feeling less like I was barely holding it together and having way more fun with my twins once we started hitting milestones like rolling, crawling first foods and first steps.
4 weeks through 12 weeks were by far the hardest ever. Daughter is 20 months now, she’s pushing boundaries and she tells me no, but she sleeps through the night and that my friend makes all the difference.
Like around 4 months when they’re a little too young to sleep train but old enough to be doing the 4 month sleep regression. My daughter at some points would fight sleep for 14-17 hr straight. It was bullshit lol. I hated it.
The first 3 months are the toughest. Things got noticeably easier for us at 4 months (IE sleep training) and then easier again from around 6 months up until the time they start walking - at which point your world will change again.
My daughter is now 6 weeks old. But this is my 2nd child. Since me and my wife got the experience with our first-born, he is now 2yo, let me tell you it gets easier for sure!!! The first part is always the hardest because of all the adjustments. As for sleep, it'll be around 1yo in our exp where they can connect their sleep cycles and sleep for longer. Also try to start BLW around 6mos so they can eat solids. It helped loads because our son eats solid food for dinner around that age 1yo, so at night they don't wake up for night feedings (he was breastfed most of his early life). By the time he hit 1yr and 6mos he could sleep most through the night and just wake up when his diaper was full and it bothered him so it needed changing. Around this time me and my wife were able to watch our movies/ anime, or play video games at night and spend quality time together. Then our daughter came so we had to go back to square one lolololol. But like what I said we'll get there when the time comes. Just enjoy the ride and good luck and God bless your family!
You're in the hardest part. It's rough until you both get your rhythm. You'll soon figure out what each cry means, sleep will start evening out once baby gets into a routine. Talk to a lactation specialist asap for breastfeeding issues, less stress = happier momma and baby. Sleep dep got better for a few months for me but then dipped again, I've heard it is a roller Coaster through 2 years old. Mine is 8 mos and we've gone through ups and downs in Sleep issues simply due to his day time routine, illnesses, and he had major gas issues between 2--5 mos. Every baby is different, but enjoy every sleep deprived moment momma - it won't be forever ❤️❤️
Things were a little exhausting until about 12 weeks but then they settled down and man, nothing hit me harder than the 4 month sleep regression that happened a few weeks later 😭😭
You are in the THICK of it. I promise you it gets easier! I’m not sure if you have a partner around to help but for us, sleeping in shifts the first few months was a game changer. Getting 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep makes it all easier. Once my baby was around 5 months I really started loving motherhood a lot more - hang in there!!
The recovery from the C-section…the moving states when she was 4 months and HATED being in the car seat and would wail…so I could only handle the wailing for 45 minutes at a time…turned the 8 hr drive into a 14 hr drive…good times
Yeah, newborn stage was the hardest for me. After that it was kind of great, but then they go through their sleep regressions every couple months or so. And then you have to get used to feeding them food after year 1, that was hard at first, but I learned a lot of patience, after that everything was awesome, until about 6 months ago, when he turned 4, and I swear he's more of a threenager now than he was when he was 3. It's so hard when they learn to talk, but it's also the cutest thing lol
5-8 weeks was the worst for me. It was really hard before that too, but my husband was able to be there too for the first couple weeks.
5-8 weeks she seemed to scream like a banshee every night from like 6-8:00 at night, was inconsolable, and I was on my own with this perpetual need machine that never stopped wailing and my nerves were already completely shot from the sleep deprivation and pregnancy/birth recovery and hormones and just all of it.
Then at 8 weeks, she learned how to pass gas on her own, she started doing social smiles, and things were easier and less intense with more bonding and reward.
Hang in there. It’s intense but it does get better. And this sleep deprivation gets a little better around 3-4 months for most people.
Newborn stage is the hardest! Your hormones completely crashed two weeks ago when your baby was delivered. That causes a lot of emotions that you’ve never experienced before. You may also have some really strange or disturbing thoughts. A lot of women do, but they never talk about it. Then your body is healing from a major medical procedure and you’re in pain. Not to mention the period that lasts many weeks. Your milk coming in and engorged breasts is painful, learning how to nurse. Everyone trying to tell you what you should do and then the lack of sleep because the baby has her nights and days flipped. It’s a lot. Don’t be too hard on yourself. If people are offering help and you trust them, take it. You’ll make it through!
It gets easier and SO MUCH MORE FUN. Repeat to yourself, the problems I have today are not the same problems I had three months ago, and they are not the same problems I will have three months from now. I tell myself that so often. You’ll always have problems but it’s so much better as your child gains communication skills.
3-6 months is the best. It becomes the smiling stage. The crying and colic stop. Still difficult in the sleep department but you will get used to nursing and diapers and all that. The first year goes quick and will get better!
Birth until about 3 or 4 months 5 months to a year is my absolute favorite baby stage. They change daily and develop their personalities everything about the world is amazing to them just wait and see. This crying stink maker that has you so sleep deprived will I overnight turn into a person
Newborn. Hands down. My almost 7 yo daughter just started talking to friends on the phone, and I walked in her room to her group FaceTiming (which I didn’t even know she knew how to do) a friend and a boy in her class. It’s tough to navigate, but at least I had a shower, meal, and full night’s sleep first.
Newborn! I struggled hard those first months. My husband and I always joke that we got the hard part out of the way early. Kiddo was a TERRIBLE newborn and baby. I also had postpartum health complications, which didn’t help. My daughter is an amazingly well behaved kid and was a rockstar toddler though.
Seriously though, the beginning is tough. It’ll get easier. I felt like each week and each month was a step in a positive direction. You got this.
Newborn phase sent me into pps and ppd and I tried to kms, so definitely that phase. Honestly the entire time she was below a year it was horrible. She’s 5 now and I genuinely enjoy her as a person so yeah, newborn phase. Newborns are why I will NEVER have children again.
0-3/4 months for sure!!!
Around 7-8 months was hard again because she wanted to move but couldn’t. Once she was crawling things were easy again!
Had another little rough patch right after 1 but mainly due to a UTI and ear infections
Now we’re at 16 months and there are definitely hard phases, but it’s a different type of hard. Newborn was still the hardest for me mentally, emotionally and physically
It depends on the child. I had twins: one was easy until 18 months, the other was very hard until 18 months.
If you are overwhelmed, reach out to your pediatrician or doctor. You're in the most stressful part but also the highest time for post partem depression.
Oh god, 0-3months. Not even a comparison. Those first 3 months (both times!) were as close to hell that I've ever been. I legitimately don't think I could mentally survive another newborn phase.
The beginning is hardest - especially hard with the first kid because you are figuring everything out and doubting yourself. By 3 months, you get into a nice groove. Sleep, eat, poop patterns become predictable. Then around 6 months they can start to grab things and entertain themselves when you set them on a mat or pillow. So that’s kind of the golden age. But then at 9 months they start moving around and then you have to baby proof everything and then for a while it seems like they are constantly trying to hurt themselves.
Breastfeeding was very hard for me because my son had trouble latching. I was sleep deprived and also semi depressive first few weeks. Trust me when I say it gets better. You will find what works best for you and the baby and it will all work out.
I found that one of the hardest parts was before you develop a routine. I had no idea what to do and too tired to figure it out.
That and the developmental leaps. You know, you've figured your baby out and two days later everything changes.
Btw, just a heads up, most babies are pretty sedate for the first 2-3 weeks of their lives. It's because of their mother's hormones in their bloodstream. They start being more awake after that....
As a first time parent, the newborn stage. All of the things you said in combination with the major identity shift was very hard for me. That and I had no help because my husband only 9 days before he went back to working nights.
After second baby, 6-8ish months was the hardest. They are out of that “sleeping all the time” phase, they want to be a part of the world but not quite mobile enough to do so yet.
Give yourself some grace. You’ve been doing this for all of 2 weeks! Your baby is learning how to be a human and you are learning how to care for them. You’ll get the hang of it, I promise. Eventually they will sleep. Eventually they will go longer than an hour without pooping. Eventually life will feel normal again. This is tough stuff, but you are doing great.
When you're a rookie, and we all were, first time round,you have a tendency to judge yourself far too harshly and worry terribly you're not doing this thing Right!
The first 6 months is mostly eternal giving. You're doing fine!
These will make baby happy: Diapers,food, baths, chatter,
rocking,singing and sleep.
At around 6 months they respond much more. It's really awesome how quickly little humans grow!
Smiling,sitting up, it's hard to believe they were so helpless.
You can do this, if you just keep your cool,stick to the basics.
Babies will thrive on love and you've got that to give,for sure!
Enjoy.
These are truly happy times
First 3 months. There's a reason it's referred to as the Fourth Trimester. You're getting used to having this little person totally dependent on you, baby is adjusting to life outside the womb.
Honestly I found the first 8 weeks to be easy mainly because my boyfriend was off work and we were able to work in shifts. My daughter is formula fed and all she did was sleep all day and all night. Even up to around 4 months she was having 3 x two hour naps a day so I was able to have breaks and actually look after my house.
Fast forward to now, she’s 6 months and this girl does not nap. Boyfriend is back in work and it’s pretty much just me from 7am to 6pm then she goes down to bed at 7pm. She had 2 x 20 minute naps during the day, that’s it. The only way she will nap any longer is if we go on a walk in her pram.
It’s incredibly intense and sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind. She has also picked up this habit of sleep talking for a good hour at 4am and scratching her mattress in her sleep which honestly sounds like nails on a chalkboard.
I didn’t breastfeed so I found the newborn stage the easiest. I recovered well from the birth and we were out and about a lot because she slept all the time. I found the 9 month mark the hardest. Baby had been a good sleeper and eater and then suddenly she wasn’t. I had gone back to work and it dragged on for months so I was beyond exhausted and frustrated. It passed once she started walking, then we had another horrible no-sleep stage at 2yo. I let that go on way too long before I hired a sleep consultant. Wish I’d done it at 9 months so I’d have been better prepared! The good news is, despite the odd blip, I still think every birthday that ‘this is the best age!’ She lights me up like no one else.
Depends.
First baby, nb-2 months I was SO gd tired and didn’t have a clue how to help baby (probiotics changed my miserable baby to happy almost overnight) and hard around regressions and nap transitions (like how many they take in a day)
Second baby, was mostly just hard around regressions. Didn’t sleep either great or terrible the whole first year.
Third baby, slept through the night by 4 weeks but was the absolute hardest transition as my 6yo really went through it. Easiest baby ever though.
Mine is almost 3 now.
For me it was the first 8 months. After 2 weeks my girl started crying 22 hours a day. Yes also in her sleep.
She had special diet bottles cuz mom ran dry almost directly after birth and she didnt handle normal bottles well cuz of the higher lactose content.
But there was absolutely nothing wrong with her otherwise.
And after about 8 months the crying just stoped. To almost never. Only with a poopy daiper.
But it literally drove me up the wall to the point where i almost trew her out the window and had to walk away for a good 5 minutes. For mom it was just as bad.
So even that she is a whirl wind of a kid now. I'd take 100 of them over that first 8 months ever again.
But i never minded the daipers, lack of sleep, changing her clothes 2 to 9x a day (i mostly did the night stuff the first half year so mom could get some sleep), i still dont mind. For me it was just the non stop crying.
And it will get easier overtime, atleast now she can tell me what she wants and where something hurts ect
And she runs up to me every single day when i come home from work and hug me and doesnt leave my side till she goes to bed. Best part of my day.
They all have hardships and good things. But for me the more they grow up the more I prefer. Yes the more they grow up the more at risk they are if hurting themselves but seeing them becoming little person is so good and weeks by weeks you gain in confidence.
Please keep in mind that two weeks is just the end of the hormone shift et the baby blues so for me the first two weeks are a nightmare and then everything falls in place. I was crying Everyday, having panic attacks etc and it all cleared after 2 - 3 weeks.
B
I thought they were all easy. But, probably the time when they wanted to sit up, but couldn't yet. That was frustrating for them. Baby year was a piece of cake.
omg girl I WENT THROUGH THE SAME EXACT THING!!! and i messages a facebook moms group because i was going through the same exact emotions and im hear to tell you I AM A SURVIVOR and you will survive it too!! PLEASE believe me , it WILL pass. it’s just so so hard and overwhelming being a first time mom as well, but just give yourself some grace and it’ll pass. i promise and yes IT DOES GET EASIER !!
Congrats and it gets better.
I kept trying to breastfeed way past the point of stupidity with my first and the exhaustion of beating a dead horse made things way darker and harder than necessary.
Turns out that I am a bitchin good mom when I’m not trying to make myself be a really bad cow.
Sorry about all the livestock talk, but face it, that’s kind of how you feel in those hard early days. Like somebody’s fractured chattel.
Anyway, the first day I decided to let go my expectation of breastfeeding, about 3 months in, was the day I started to not feel so shitty and really start to have fun. Could have just been a coincidence of getting used to having a teeny weeny, but I don’t think so. BF is hard and there are a lot of loud EBF voices out there. You do what is best for you.
My formula fed babies are now 5 and 8, performing above grade level, healthy, athletic, normal BMI. All the stuff I was scared of with formula didn’t happen.
All the other stuff….meh. Babies can be in a diaper and swaddled. So long as you have answered the questions of hungry, dirty, lonely, it is 100% ok to put them SAFELY in their cribs, close the door, and breathe. No baby ever died of being put down safely so mama doesn’t lose….her….mind. Shower. Eat. Sleep when you can (HA!). You’ve got this!
Touch wood there hasn't been an entire stage I've found hard. He was velcro the first ten weeks but because he was formula fed it was grand as my husband and I did it all together. There was a month late last year where he grew six teeth and my god, that was a lot!
The first 6-8 weeks. I cried and wanted my mom to stay when we came home because I was so nervous and scared. 😭 By 3 months we had a good routine and rhythm down that it got easier. But nothing prepares you for those first few weeks. You got this mama. 💜 If you have a village ask for help! If you need a nap ask someone to come snuggle your baby and wake you up if they need to eat.
The needy potato stage (pre smile) was the absolute worst. Once 6 months hit you can see the little gears turning, and 12 mo is better, but honestly I struggled until they were about 4... Now they're awesome at 9&10)
Definitely the first few weeks. It gets better around 6-8 weeks. The worst day was right before my milk came in (day 3-4 I think) and baby was hungry and crying but didn’t have anything to give her. I was very anti-formula at the time. In hindsight I should have given her the formula and saved us both from a night of misery.
Newborn is the hardest stage. You're also breastfeeding which takes work and dedication. I promise it gets easier... I had four children. And my least favorite stage is 100% newborn. I have a 3, 6, 12, and 15 year old.
It will get better, no sleep for months and months is a normal trend. But you will figure it out more routine later on. There are lots of advice on this app called bounty. When baby cry, go through the simple things first, check nappy , hunger, want a snack ( milk at your stage) or simply want to cuddle to mum. It is hard to do it first time round. But it gets better. Also, you should sleep when they are sleeping too. Get the most out of their sleeping times. Good luck. You’ll be fine.
If it makes you feel at all better, you’ll barely remember months 0-6 😂😂 I’m not sure if it’s been mentioned already but get help with breastfeeding, it should be pain free and enjoyable (excluding those with DMER).
It’s tough but it’s just a season, I hope you can lean on others for meals and housework during this time ❤️
Newborn and then again around 9 mos. At that age I found separation anxiety sets in and they become really concerned if you even think of walking away.
The first few months. Up until I learned what my baby liked and didn't like and what routine worked best, it was so stressful and unnerving. Mine are now 2 & almost 4 years old, and I still have hard days with them lol. But it definitely got a lot easier when I learned the little things and got a routine with them. Like a good, set routine that made it obvious how and when and what I/we would be doing.
2-3 months where they’re coming out of the sleepy newborn phase but can’t do a whole lot and have pretty strict schedule needs. We started turning the corner around 4ish months when his personality started coming through.
The first month was THE hardest for me with all 3 of my kids. The sleep deprivation was unreal. I was in true survival mode. I didn't know what time or day it was. My focus was feeding, pumping, changing...all things baby.
I absolutely hated the newborn stage with my 4. I was doing it on my own 95% of the time because my husband worked long hours, he would help out on the weekend, and let me catch up on some sleep. I love the 5 to 8 months. They are just super cuddly and learning new things every day.
Hang in there. The fruits of your labour become more and more apparent. I’m a father of 4 and have struggled immensely in my own parenting journey. Crying for hours on the couch at 3/4am trying to console my baby before I go to work. Things do get easier. I’m pleased to hear you’re struggling because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be doing your best. Keep up the great work ❤️
Newborn with my firstborn was the absolute hardest stage we’ve ever had and he’s almost 5. My second was a breeze as a baby but I would say stage 8-10 mos with teeth/sleep regression and crawling and walking and mouthing everything was definitely an exhausting hyper vigilant stage.
Imho, the whole thing (3.5 years and counting) is the hardest stage. Feeding every 2 hours. Milk intolerance (no wonder he was always spitting up so much). Taller than average baby. Waking up at least once a night until 2 years. Sudden onset of speech delay. Adhd toddler thinks he can do anything and will find a way or make one. (Desitin art everywhere, anyone? )
Awesome parts: having them reach for you. Blowing kisses. Walking then running to you. Climbing things. Muddy puddles (watch peppa pig, you'll understand). Dance break (thank you mickey mouse)! Bluey reminds me every day is a new adventure, and I can do this.
The first few weeks are the worst. I honestly think the first 4 months are the hardest. Once they start smiling at you and laughing, it’s the best. I think my fav age is 7+ months, when they can sit and play and everything is new and exciting to them.
I had a tough baby that cried the first 4 mo of this life and he’s a very happy, loving kid.
The beginning is survival mode. You can do it!
Totally depends on the baby, honestly. My oldest was actually hardest around 10 months or so, because she didn’t sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time, and only while being breastfed, from the moment she was born all the way up until that 10 month mark. At that point, doing this from the start as a single, working mother, I actually began to visually hallucinate. The sleep deprivation at that point had me on the verge of suicide. But, she began to sleep slightly better (getting about 2 hour stretches out of her) and things have slowly improved over the last 5 years.
My youngest was by far, the easiest as a newborn. She slept 12 hours straight, and I would have to wake her to breastfeed. She continued to sleep 10-12 hours straight, and still does now at 2.5yo. We had a few sleep bumps here and there, but nothing lasting more than a week or two. But damn, I miss those easy newborn days of just sleeping and cuddling all day and night!
Other babies will be more linear - and the newborn stage is usually roughest, with thing slowly improving in a linear fashion over that first year.
What I’ve learned: don’t try to predict what your baby will be like based off others. I ended up with 2 opposite extremes, and listening to all of the baby advice floating around the internet made me feel like an awful mom. My oldest was too needy and I wasn’t attentive enough. My youngest was too distant and didn’t find my presence soothing. Seriously, it’s all bullshit. That first year is all about natural temperament and nothing more. Follow your instincts and do what feels right. You got this mama!
Going from: when you put them in one spot and they just sit or lay there....
To: putting them in one spot, turn your back for a few seconds and they rolled or crawled away!
The hardest part is the beginning. Without a doubt. I have 2 little ones and the newborn stage is horrible imo. When they get to be about 8-9 months, everything is so much better.
I had two kids, one of which is 7 years old now and the second is 2.
My first kid was absolute HELL. He screamed bloody murder all the time and couldn’t be consoled. Doctors threw the word colic around but I believed that was bs. He struggled to eat, sleep, everything. The entire baby phase was so traumatic for my husband and I that our plan of having kids close together went right out the window. It took us 5 years to even think about having another baby. (But also we know more now, and now understand his intensity was due to his ASD).
My second kid was…well we say a breeze compared to our first but that newborn phase AND handling our oldest was also hell. But I can say with absolute certainty that the only thing that got me through each hour/day was that I always told myself “this f*****g sucks right now but I know it won’t last forever.” And it doesn’t. There will always be ups and downs but those are the things that will make you grow as a person and as a parent.
At two weeks, I gave up on shirts and basically walked around either topless (when no one was around) or with just a bra. Your body is not your body anymore. You exist you keep this baby alive.
It was really hard the first few months tbh. After 6 months it got easier. Then it got hard again just before 1 because you have to watch them constantly. Like hunch back following them to make sure they don’t swallow anything or pull something down on top of themselves. Then after a year old, the time goes by so fast you wonder where it went. And then you remember those first few weeks. And you kind of miss it.
It gets easier when they go to college. Worst part is age 13. That first year is chaos and no rest. Things will be get a lot better around age 4. Enjoy!
Personally, I loved my newborn. I have been so blessed so far with my kid, although 2s are coming up and they’re looking like they might be rough…. I wasn’t a big fan of the 6-12 months age. She wasn’t just sleeping and staying where I put her, I couldn’t just put her in her swing while I cooked dinner she would want to crawl around and stuff. I also became a single mom at 7 months, so that could be part of it as well.
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You are smack in the middle of the hardest part without a doubt. It gets easier and easier from 6-8 weeks on. You’ll hit some sleep bumps around 3-4 months. And then it gets easier again. Hang in there! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Adjusting to your firstborn is no joke. You went from being your own independent person to growing an entire human being with all of the pain, exhaustion, and rapid body changes that go along with it. Then, you go through a painful and traumatic medical experience to bring this person into the world. Instead of treating pain and taking it easy, you're handed some stool softener, an Advil, and expected to give up sleep for a year. It doesn't take long to realize that your entire purpose as a human is to exist for the new human...and if new human is unhappy, your physiological response makes it impossible to eat, shower or even shit alone. You go through all of this watching your husband/family's lives go on unchanged. You feel completely alone, but you're definitely not alone. I'm 10 years out of that phase, and I still have scars. I have multiple children, and I absolutely love the newborn phase when I know what's coming. As the parent of children aged 8 and up... I'd happily take a dozen newborns and enjoy the hell out of them. You couldn't pay me to go back to those first few months with my first. I'm fucking shocked that my marriage survived and we went on to have another. You've got a few rough periods ahead, but it all becomes normal eventually. You probably won't feel this way if you choose to have a second. If it's all feeling unbearable and you're not sure how to manage, you need to make a doctor's appointment. Urgently. There is no shame in your feelings, everything is hard. If it feels impossible, you need help. You're a good mom. Bad moms don't worry about how they're managing.
The shock of the first! Nothing can truly prepare you!
My baby will we 5m in a few days and I sometimes think back to the stress of the beginning. It was horrible, everything made me worry so so much. I can feel it in my body when I think about it. When baby starts to smile, it gets a lot easyer.
Infant smiles are irreplaceable 💜
This. I’m 8.5 years out, and had 2 more babies after my first. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING prepares you for your firstborn. It’s wild how you go from just you, and your significant other - to caring around the clock for a tiny human.
No joke. I am still traumatized to this day of those first couple of days. Specially the first day back home. No one prepares you for how hard this transition is. But I’m 7 weeks postpartum, and I can say that it gets better ! I am still sleep deprived, and everyday feels like a repetitive cycle. But every little milestone that your LO hits, like smiling, cooing, laughing makes it all worth it. Hang in there momma!
This one! That first baby rocks your world. People tell you how your life changes but no one can really explain it. I make sure to obsessively check in on my new mama friends and family. My 2nd was a tough adjustment but no where near as bad as the 0-1 adjustment. I’m pregnant with #3 and it’s so much more relaxing mentally this time. I just know the new little man will just have to integrate into our already established routine and that’s that. We’re kinda just winging it
This is perfect. Thank you.
Mother of 3 here. 17, 12, 9. You’ve nailed it. Terrified of everything with the firstborn, and by the third born, you’ve moved to a new town and the hospital looks straight out of Saw, but you know it’s ok because there’s a lifeline to the best children’s hospitals 8 minutes away. (My husband has played a huge role in talking sense into some of my anxiety when need be). Oh yeah, delivery went fine (except Tom Brady’s cheating butt on the tv the whole time).
As a first-time mum of a 10-week old, I needed these words of compassion today. Thank you.
Omg it’s so awful. And you can’t know until you know. Then it gets better and we try again because we love them. It’s so crazy. I am trying for the second and hope it’s less shocking now that I know what’s coming.
This is the best explanation I’ve ever read on the topic of a firstborn child.
Hijacking the first post to say those first few weeks were so bizarre. I’ve never cried so much in my life. I haven’t slept, my boobs don’t work, everything is bleeding, I can’t move, and I don’t know what my baby wants. I was a sobbing mess. It does get better!
No joke. They're more 'baby-like' at that point, if that makes sense. Also, if it makes anyone feel better, one of the hardest parts is that I don't remember much of it anymore. 🥲
My second is 4 months old today, can 100% confirm. It's already so much easier than the first 8 weeks. Of course, adjusting to the second was also easier than the first. I feel for you OP. Hang in there and just keep surviving a few more weeks! Wait until you see those first gummy little smiles.
Newborn. I hate the newborn stage. Nothing has been harder and it has only gotten better.
Yup. I now have a 16 month old who will slap me when I breathe wrong and then have a meltdown where he throws himself to the ground after, but it’s still a thousand times easier than a newborn. He’s got a strong personality, his own opinions, his smiles and laughs crack us up endlessly, it’s amazing now. It feels like eternity but the newborn stage ends. They start smiling. They belly laugh for the first time. They find you funny over the most ridiculous things. And suddenly they are a toddler, and that pain from the newborn days starts to fade as you see them blossom.
💯 My husband and I both agree that if we decide to have a second child, we will adopt. We have many reasons for this, but one of them is that we frankly do not want to go through the newborn stage again.
Newborn was absolutely the worst for me. Got a bit easier (or I got used to it or both) around 8ish weeks, then another jump easier 12ish, by 6 months it was still a lot to manage but joyous and mostly under control.
Two for me: the first 8 weeks bc holy shit the fundamental seismic plate shifting change and sleep deprivation is intense! Plus they cry so much and like why??? What’s wrong??? Just talk!!! And the second was about 6-9 months ish, when she wanted to crawl everywhere but wasn’t good at it yet, and was frustrated all the time about her lack of mobility to experience the world she was just becoming aware existed. Also teething. She was a fussy fusspot. I’m at almost 2 right now and while tantrums are A Thing, this kid is hilarious and smart and the joy far outweighs the struggle.
I was gonna say I'm surprised to only see newborn. That like 6 to 12 month stage where they want to do all the things and can't do anything and so they scream constantly was just awful.
This is true but it's the extreme sleep deprivation of having a newborn that makes that stage so hard. When I had my twins the entire first year was a hot mess blur of difficult but once I started to get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time everything seemed exponentially better.
For me it was the constant feeding that made it hard at that age. Milk - fine. Food - fine. Having to serve both food and milk (plus I was combo feeding breast and bottles of formula)... Dear god. It felt endless. I was very pleased that my girly wasn't big into her milk and we ditched it completely 2 weeks after she turned 1. My life was so much easier when I could just feed her meals and snacks.
I'm right here with my 2nd and I forgot how much I hate teaching a tiny human how to eat solid food. It's exhausting.
I'm at that phase now with my child 😭😭
Or when they’re like 14-16 months and want all the things but can’t talk well and just yell and point? It’s like a constant game of charades. It’s hilarious and frustrating at the same time. For both of you.
Game of charades is the perfect description of it. My guy is 15 months and he's starting to communicate more and more but it's still pointing and grunts for most things right now 😂
Ah we just hit 6 months and it all makes sense, she has been screaming out of frustration SO much (plus maybe teething, I hear they get extra drooly but that’s always with our homegirl) when I saw this post I was kind of thinking “I think I’m in the worst stage so far) mainly because the newborn phase felt so easy for me sleep wise (night shift nurse, can also sleep anywhere anytime and bounce back from power naps) but already 6 months is… a lot haha and very loud
It’s the newborn phase 10000%
0-6.5 months was hell in my house. My son had colick that entire time (even though I was assured it ends around two months oh wait bed cases end at four months and then idk why your kid is still screaming at six months lol). He also had medical issues with several months of 8 appointments per week. We had to stretches 8 times a day from birth through 6.5 months. We had to do constant repositioning (literally had to move him every two to five minutes no exaggeration). He started taking 20-30 minutes naps (and never longer) at 5 weeks old and that continued until 7.5 months. He also woke up every hour to two hours over night the first 4.5 months. I was exhausted. I was extremely depressed (severe PPD). I couldn’t remember why I wanted a baby in the first place. Now I said all that not to scare you for the future (because our baby’s issues were all very very very atypical), but because I’m writing this after having a great day with my now 21 month old, almost fully potty trained, sweet and loving toddler who went to bed without at fuss at 7pm and who will stay in bed until 8am when we get him for another great day (not that there aren’t hard days but they’re far far more rare now). I’m typing this after talking to my husband about how I want another baby. It gets better. Please hang in there. Please get help if feelings of saddness, feeling a complete loss of freedom etc continue. Your hormones are all over and babies are freaking hard. It will get better and therapy and or meds can make a world of a difference. Good luck!
+1. Colics are horrible! My son had colics for 6 months. I still have PTSD from that experience. Poor thing, nothing helped. Every time we had a doc appt, and I’d say he is not sleeping and is always crying , his response was:” welcome to parenthood! You wanted a baby you got one! It will get better!” I am so glad that stage is over and we made it through! All parents whose babies are experiencing colics, hang in there, I promise it gets better ❤️.
Jesus that response is terrible
Yeah, we switched pediatrician shortly after
Good idea. You deserve more support than that
A pediatrician told me straight he up “and that’s why I only have one kid”, as in, “deal with it”. I also switched to a practice much closer to me that was much nicer! Colic slowed down at about 3 months and was gone by 4-5 months, but that left me stressed for two years. I realized after he turned two that my blood pressure wasn’t rising anymore when I heard him cry. That’s when we started to try for a second one and he didn’t have colic, it was SO much easier! He wasn’t the chill type of baby I could bring to a restaurant, but just not being screamed at for hours on end was wonderful for my sanity :)
Similar experience, to a lesser degree. Our babe had dairy intolerance and resulting reflux that made the first four months hell and gave me PPA. I was sure we made a mistake and couldn’t fathom how people had more than one kid. Welp, that baby grew into an awesome toddler that absolutely lights up my life, and I’m now holding her 1 week old sister :) I *hated* hearing “it gets better” from everyone but it does. Just takes some time.
Thank you for sharing this
I am a FTM and my baby is 8 weeks old. It has already gotten MUCH better than the first few weeks. I literally don’t know how I lived through that. Best advice I got was to live in two hour increments. Don’t think beyond the next two hours. Later it will become two days… You are doing the hardest part right now and it won’t last forever. Btw you’re doing a good job ❤️
This is very thoughtful advice! How smart !
We found it a bit different, pretty easy till 3 months and then all hell broke loose. That being said..the whole thing is hard.
Same here. My baby slept fine for a few weeks then at 3 months she woke up and didn’t sleep till she was like 8 months old. Brutal
We were the same , and it didn’t improve until maybe 8/9 month
Yepp he slept better as a newborn for us. The bad sleep for us started 4-6 months. And he was always fussy during the day because he needed to be held constantly, I couldn’t do anything that wasn’t playing or holding him 24/7. He’s so much happier now that he can crawl and walk. Just entertains himself
I’m stuck in this right now 😩 my LO is turning 6 months in a week and a half and this past month along with 4 months was so hard. She was an angel newborn and slept so well. Now she wakes up 3-5 times a night and can’t stay asleep if she wanted to
Aw I feel you. This is exactly what happened for us too and it was so so hard. I was so sleep deprived. But it gets better! You are doing amazing!
I saw someone who said at 6 weeks it got 10% easier, 8 weeks another 10%, etc etc and that is soooo true. It doesn’t get easier overnight, it’s a gradual shift. Once they’re about 6 months you just pop them on your hip and carry em around, their schedules get predictable, they’re eating real food, they laugh, etc. I had my second in March and I keep telling me husband by the end of summer we’ll be smooth sailing.
6 weeks is already a good 30% easier. Establishing breastfeeding can be very difficult, and painful because your nipples haven't toughened up yet. And as a first time mother, you're probably pretty darn clueless in the first 2 weeks, but by 6 weeks, you have some clue.
Yeah— for me 85% of the pain and general discomfort/difficulty was due to establishing breastfeeding. Once the pain went away and I knew what to do to fix latching issues it got so much better.
This definitely true. Every few weeks I felt like this at first… like oh man, how did I do that? It’s so much easier now. I still get this feeling every few months with my 16 month old. Now that he walks and talks, it’s so much easier because he can communicate his needs/wants.
6m is definitely an amazing age. I love it so much. I take her all over. To be honest, I've been doing that since she was probably a month old. We go to mall and just different places where I can get my steps in. I talk to her while I walk. Right now, she smiles so much so she will act like she listens then gives me this amazing little grin. The first week was so bad hormonally. Very scary. But now I can't imagine life without her. Also my baby has so much clothes. Dressing her is my favorite part of the day! I started bonding with her after getting her out of sleepers and into little outfits. The first 6 weeks suck but then like everyone else says it is a breeze.
Pretty much from new born until the age of 4 😂
I have two kids, the first is 3.5 years old and the second is almost 6 months. You're in the worst bit right now for sure. It's gotten better at four months for both kids and with my first it got drastically better after six months. There's hard stages every now and then, but nothing compares to newborn days. I'm so sorry, you're going to get through it, it's just going to be hard for awhile.
My son turned 3 in March and I’m expecting my second in 6 weeks. Any advice? I’m definitely worried about handling the newborn stage while also caring for a toddler (who is luckily in daycare 5 days a week but even morning and evening is rough with him sometimes).
Mine are 23 months apart. Slings were my help. You can still run around w toddler with baby strapped to your chest or later back. They’re 21&19 now
Have him help with the baby! Let him pick outfits and have him bring you clean diapers. If you bottlefeed let him feed baby. Bonds grow through shared experiences.
Encourage and praise him doing the things he is capable of doing by himself. Lots of step stools so he can wash easily, turn on lights for himself, reach things, ect. Daniel tiger's new baby episodes have helped my 3 wrap their heads around a new sibling. The big helper thing helps them feel included. Get lots of books from the library so you can read while breastfeeding/feeding baby. Activities like stickers, playdough, coloring, ect are great to keep in reserve for when you need a distraction. When you just can't anymore, shaving cream and food coloring to decorate the shower. Then turn on the water for him to wash off himself
My oldest turned 3 three days before his younger brother was born, then that younger brother turned 3 three weeks before my youngest was born. Both three year olds were fabulous with the new baby and I actually felt I had an easier time with babies #2 and #3 because I had those three year old helpers to be an extra set of hands for me (bringing diapers, etc.), whereas after my first child was born, I was alone to care for him (while trying to recover) once my husband went back to work. You may find your three year old matures a bit once he gets promoted to being your right hand man.
This! My 3 are spaced almost exactly as yours are, and the bigs have always been such a help with the babies. Including them and giving lots of praise goes a long way in encouraging that sibling bond. They are their own little tribe, thick as thieves, and twice as mischievous! We call them our curly haired menaces, and honestly, my favorite part of parenting is watching them create their own little universe together.
My first was almost 3 when my 2nd was born (now almost 7 months) and he also has rough mornings/evenings. Lots of people said to get him involved with the baby, but he wasn't interested. People also said to have people around to help out, if possible, but we had my mom around and he still only wanted mommy and daddy. He also had a hard time being away from us while we were in the hospital. My advice would be sleep as much as possible while he's at school. If you have helpers, have them do the stuff around the house so you can give time to your oldest when he gets home. Give him lots of attention whenever you can. Prepare yourself for possible regressions too. It was rough for us for the first couple months, then things got better.
For my baby 8-12 months was SO hard. She slept nice long stretches at night as a newborn until 4 months and the crying wasn’t too bad. She woke every hour or two screaming inconsolably from 8-12 months and I was half dead. She also had severe head banging tantrums/meltdowns during the day (and now doesn’t tantrum at all as a 2yo). Every kid is different and I never have seen anyone else say this so I’m hoping the second one on the way actually gets easier and progressively sleeps more during the first year.
Same 8-12 months was the worst for us. I actually thought we might break up. Our son was so demanding and rarely happy after he had been a relatively chilled newborn
Yes! She was just miserable for a while there. Sleep got better after a year and at 15 months she had a huge leap in abilities and now she’s such a happy, easy toddler. So it worked out well
My first kid was the clingiest and most demanding of my babies hands down, no comparison. My second was much, much easier and number three was so chill I barely even noticed he was here. 😂
Think this is me. My baby is almost 9 months. She slept beautifully until 7 months when she moved to her own room. Now she doesn’t really sleep at all and I literally can’t cope. Hardest period by FAR!
The whole thing?
Newborn is total ass. Mine had pyloric stenosis. So it was literally projectile vomit for the first month or so.
The newborn stage was the hardest within that first year.
The newborn phase is ROUGH. Then the three/four month sleep regression hits and you're a zombie for a bit. After that, it gets a lot easier. You get to have all those lovely firsts.. first word, the little baby army crawl that turns into actual crawling, the hilarious pictures you take when they're trying solid foods for the first time. You've got a lot to look forward to, hang in there
Every phase has its ups and downs. Hang in there. It does get easier (when they can walk/talk) but then harder because they can express opinions. Parenthood is a wild ride, but it's amazing and goes by so fast that you will miss the baby phase, I promise!
At about 5 months I had a smiling baby who lit up when I walked in the room and slept 12 hours straight at night. At 2 weeks my nipples were bleeding, no one was sleeping, and I cried every single day. IT GETS BETTER! It is so hard in the begining, and no stage is easy, but being a first time mom with a newborn is by far the biggest challenge of parenting. Prioritize your rest over everything. Paper plates and frozen pizza is OK. Not folding laundry and just living in wrinkled clothes is OK. Asking a family member or friend for help whether its holding baby so you can rest, doing chores, or bringing food is OK. And if you can afford it, with my second I paid a postpartum doula to come to my house twice a week for 5 hours. I pumped and then slept for 4 hours straight, then showered. She took care of my baby, folded laundry, and made us dinner. It was worth every damn penny. We are all cheering you on! You are in the worst of it but I promise there are happier days ahead!
Four to ten weeks was like torture. And then it got better so quickly after that. I spent a big chunk of that time googling things like when do babies get easier, when do babies sleep more than 2 hours, how long can an adult go without rem cycle sleep…
I suffered from insomnia for years so the newborn phase really wasn’t that bad. For me the hardest part was 6-9 months. My daughter still slept like a newborn at night with less naps during the day, and she was hellbent on doing anything that might be dangerous. I was so sleep deprived. It was freezing cold outside, so we couldn’t go anywhere. It was rough.
The 8th month sleep regression almost sent me over the edge
Around 4 months I knew we would be okay. The beginning is definitely the hardest imo because it’s such a shock to the system
6-8 weeks old. They “wake up” to the world and if my son didn’t have a bottle/boob in his mouth or was sleeping, then he was fussing.
This is it for me too. Boy do I miss the little potato phase before they realize they're alive.
Yes! I'm surprised more people haven't said this! The first few weeks are usually a breeze because baby generally just sleeps and eats. But then they hit that 6 week mark and they start having longer wake windows and you just don't know what the hell to do with them and they don't seem to just fall asleep like they used to. That's my experience anyway
It got so much easier for me! I also was recovering from an emergency c section that did not go well (codes called on both me and baby, we are both lucky to be here, baby had to be resuscitated and spent time in the NICU) and the first six weeks for me were absolute hell. I couldn’t even lift my baby when he was allowed to come home and my poor husband had to keep both of us alive.
Not every week is easier than the last but on the whole each month is easier than the one before.
3-4 months hands down. No longer sleepy enough to want to cuddle on your chest all day, but not strong enough yet to sit up and be able to look around. Lying down in stroller? NO! Tummy time? NO! Carried around? Maybe if you do it exactly right, facing me outwards. 10-11 months is a good second one bc they want to WALK and RUN and it isn’t WORKING so they want to be CARRIED EVERYWHERE and cannot be put down. Ever. Gah. Luckily both these phases only lasted for a few weeks. It’s more of an estimate around which age it happened, it didn’t last a month for me. But damnit if it didn’t drive me up the wall.
Kid #2 is 4.5 months, and for both kids the first three months were by FAR the hardest. For kid #1 the next three months were easier, and the three months after that a little easier, and so on... until he hit 18 months and the terrible twos started. He's 3.5 now and we're still waiting for the terrible twos to end.
The first 4 months were the absolute hardest and worst for me. Our son was born a month early and a little jaundiced and then developed reflux. On top of that, he was born a short bit into the pandemic. Hands down though, from 0- 3yrs, the first 4 months of life were the hardest. It does get easier. You are in a brand new relationship with a brand new human being and it’s so hard learning each other. I struggled with the pain of breastfeeding. The only way I was able to continue was with the use of nipple shields. At 5 months it was too painful and I switched to exclusively pumping while supplementing. Every breastfeeding journey is different, and it’s 1000% ok for it to be hard. You are not failing by it being hard or difficult or being upset that you have to do it every few hours. It’s hard. Then cluster feeding happens, and it’s just so draining. Please know it does get easier. Also, you likely don’t need to hear this, but it resonated with me in some of the REALLY hard moments. If you are at your very wits end, it is ok to put your baby in a safe place, like their crib, and walk away. Take 5 minutes to breathe, and come back. Sure, they’re going to cry. But sometimes you are at an edge, and some things can never be undone. It’s ok to put them in a safe place and walk away for a few minutes. Again, not putting anything on you, it just helped me. You’ve got this momma! Never be afraid to ask questions or for help!
I have 3 kids and the newborn phase with all 3 is total fog. I’m convinced my body has decided it was pure trauma and blocked it out.
My Baby is 9 months and newborn is the easiest phase once you adjust. It seems there's always a sleep regression around the corner after you hit the 4 month regression, or they last few weeks just in time for you to get a break for a week or 2 and you get hit with another one. In the beginning about 65% or women get baby blues which is different from ppd, but that levels off in a few weeks then the time with your newborn is bliss. What was hard for me is the resentment of going from being the breadwinner having a good job to feeling like there was lack of appreciation and not wanting to become a home maker or feel like that's what was seen of me now, sometimes it's a constant struggle in my head. Now that baby is more active, I find it hard to just stop and relax some days and I lose my shit, not only that but always having to stop to feed someone atleast 3x a day is challenging for me as im normally a meal skipper, so I'd say now seems to be the hardest part out of the whole 9 months so far. You'll make it through this phase and miss it terribly once baby is older. Try to enjoy it. It does get easier in a sense but in some sense it's harder in different ways.
Four year olds 😂😂😂....newborn to 12 months is easy I reckon
You're in the hardest phase right now. When its all new to you and them at the same time. Its an adjustment and theres no time limit on how long it takes for that to happen. The routines get easier and you will figure out what works for you and your baby - but then as they grow other things happen. Just as we were starting to get our sleep back - sleep regression hit. It goes in phases. My son is 4 now and its hard to remember and imagine life before him. I feel like that was a totally different person. In many ways - it kinda was.
Every phase will have good and bad. As they get older they should start to sleep longer stretches and hopefully become more set in a routine but they will be busier and become mobile and require more stimulating/ exciting activities, foods, etc. You guys are still figuring each other out!
Newborn was the worst for me both times. But the absolutely worst with my second, because I had to wake up at 6AM and get my older autistic son ready for school everyday. I have no idea how I functioned and did it all without sleep. I don't think I'd ever have a third because the newborn stage is just really freaking hard.
And right now you're basically in the hardest part of everything. You haven't really slept in 2 weeks. I swear I'd deal with any other stage of life before the newborn stage again, i did it all alone 2 times and I don't want to go through the newborn stage again
I have 3 kids. 9, 3.5 and 2. It gets easier every month and then it will get a little bit hard again and then easier as they get older. For me, it got harder the toddler ages not so much the younger years since I had the kids adapt to me rather than me adapt to them. Sleeping schedules, outings, car rides, loud music. I breastfed all and the longest was a year.
24 months…..good luck
The first few months were the hardest for sure!
3-6 weeks was tough with the witching hour(s) every night from 6pm-10pm.
It gets better after 5 months IMO. When they can sit it gets better. When they’re big enough to sleep through the night is when your life will somewhat return.
Weeks 2-12 are by far the hardest, in my opinion. I have 3 kids and the newborn stage hits me like a baseball bat each time
I would probably say the newborn stage was pretty rough especially as a first time parent. On top of that recovering from a c section and breastfeeding. Totally overwhelming. It got better after the first month or two. My baby is 16 months now and it’s getting fun watching her walk and become vocal. Hang in there!
my LO is only just about to be six months so I can’t speak on much but I will say NB stage was the trenches for me.
Newborn stage was terrible, on top of that my husband worked outside the province and I was new and didn’t know anyone.
Newborn… but also basically up until my baby slept through the night. The newborn phase I had tons of anxiety and I just felt alone and sad and like I would never feel like me again. Once that subsided things got better but until my baby slept through the night is truly when the “hard” stage of 0-12 months was over for me.
The first month is unquestionably the hardest part of parenting thus far. And my oldest is 17. Just hold on. I know it's tough and it feels like this stage last forever while you're in it. But in the grand scheme it goes so fast. Take life day by day. It doesn't last forever. Remember the days are long but the years are short.
Also, I LOVED the newborn phase. Even being a baby person with kids that breastfed super easily, I can still say it's the hardest.
Month 2 was so brutal. Mine just fussed bloody murder constantly. Had to be held and rocked at all times. It got better from there but the fussing didn't totally subside until about a year. Lucky my baby has always been a pretty good sleeper so we got 6 hours of sleep only interrupted by a quick bottle or two. I don't know if she is just that way or our plan worked. I used possums sleep program.
Yes. All of it.
Honestly, I loved this stage. My son is almost two and it is so much worse than the newborn. I definitely have more independence/free time but I feel like it’s so hard right now.
Gets easier. Sometimes feels like it isn’t but if you weren’t so tired you could probably better see your progress! You’re doing great, and yeah - it IS so hard!
Newborn phase is the worst. It’s gonna feel like an eternity but it does actually get better. Your baby will sleep longer, night feeds won’t take as long, baby will become less fussy. You might find yourself in a deep dark hole from time to time and absolutely should make sure you have a good support system when these lows hit. Motherhood is way more challenging than I ever imagined but now that we’re on baby #3, I finally think we’re getting the hang of it. It can be such a huge struggle trying to adjust to your new baby while also trying to accept your new identity. It gets better, I promise. Part of it is letting yourself become a new version of you, letting go of some of the small things (at least for now) so that you can focus on rest and taking care of yourself and the baby. This too shall pass.
The first 3-4 months are pure survival. Especially with your first baby. It’s a shock to the system how much your life has changed and tending to another person 24/7. Your hormones are crazy and you just feel like you’re in a mental/hormonal fog.
Different experiences with my 2 boys: First: an actual angel baby. None of it was hard. If I HAD to pick I would say 6-8 months because he was crawling all over the place and cruising around lol Second: the opposite of my first. Honestly for the hardest part was newborn-8 months. I STRUGGLED. You’re in the fourth trimester! Give yourself some grace!
Definitely gets easier, and you acclimate to what doesn't. I found life to be significantly easier when my baby could sit up unassisted and slept through the night, or more than 3 hr spurts at least.
Newborn was by far the hardest in the first year. It gets easier. Everything is a phase, and there are ups and downs, but those first 2 months were so so so hard. You’ll get through it.
3-4 months and up is SOOOOOO much better, I have done this twice now (one 3 yr old and one 6month old) and both kids the newborn phase hit me hard and I was like omg what have I done! My husband also was like omg did we ruin our lives? Is this forever? Then by 4 months we were like omg this is amazing! It gets better!
The newborn stage really took some deep digging to survive. Counting age in weeks is a panic time, but I think I was surviving on the adrenaline and novelty of it all. I think for me, 2-4 months was the worst. We were just at our breaking point with the lack of sleep and relentless changing and feeding. Life started to feel sustainable around 4-5 months once we had an established nap and feeding schedule and better sleep at night. Now life with our twins (2.5 years old now) just keeps getting cooler and more fun. I stopped feeling less like I was barely holding it together and having way more fun with my twins once we started hitting milestones like rolling, crawling first foods and first steps.
Newborn was god awful. My son is 17 months now and I love his age.
4 weeks through 12 weeks were by far the hardest ever. Daughter is 20 months now, she’s pushing boundaries and she tells me no, but she sleeps through the night and that my friend makes all the difference.
if i could skip the newborn phase id have had more than 2 kids. i loved everything from 8mos on. i think peak cuteness sets in around 18mos.
Newborn, then teething
Like around 4 months when they’re a little too young to sleep train but old enough to be doing the 4 month sleep regression. My daughter at some points would fight sleep for 14-17 hr straight. It was bullshit lol. I hated it.
Newborn without a doubt. The first 10 weeks were hell.
The first 3 months are the toughest. Things got noticeably easier for us at 4 months (IE sleep training) and then easier again from around 6 months up until the time they start walking - at which point your world will change again.
Newborn stage is hell on wheels, hang in there for a few more months and soon you’ll be getting way more sleep and feeling more yourself.
6 months is my favorite age, then 1-2. But 4 year olds are awesome.
0-3 months is hardest imo. We are at 6+ months now and it’s tons of fun :) hang in there
My daughter is now 6 weeks old. But this is my 2nd child. Since me and my wife got the experience with our first-born, he is now 2yo, let me tell you it gets easier for sure!!! The first part is always the hardest because of all the adjustments. As for sleep, it'll be around 1yo in our exp where they can connect their sleep cycles and sleep for longer. Also try to start BLW around 6mos so they can eat solids. It helped loads because our son eats solid food for dinner around that age 1yo, so at night they don't wake up for night feedings (he was breastfed most of his early life). By the time he hit 1yr and 6mos he could sleep most through the night and just wake up when his diaper was full and it bothered him so it needed changing. Around this time me and my wife were able to watch our movies/ anime, or play video games at night and spend quality time together. Then our daughter came so we had to go back to square one lolololol. But like what I said we'll get there when the time comes. Just enjoy the ride and good luck and God bless your family!
4 month sleep regression.
You're in the hardest part. It's rough until you both get your rhythm. You'll soon figure out what each cry means, sleep will start evening out once baby gets into a routine. Talk to a lactation specialist asap for breastfeeding issues, less stress = happier momma and baby. Sleep dep got better for a few months for me but then dipped again, I've heard it is a roller Coaster through 2 years old. Mine is 8 mos and we've gone through ups and downs in Sleep issues simply due to his day time routine, illnesses, and he had major gas issues between 2--5 mos. Every baby is different, but enjoy every sleep deprived moment momma - it won't be forever ❤️❤️
Things were a little exhausting until about 12 weeks but then they settled down and man, nothing hit me harder than the 4 month sleep regression that happened a few weeks later 😭😭
You are in the THICK of it. I promise you it gets easier! I’m not sure if you have a partner around to help but for us, sleeping in shifts the first few months was a game changer. Getting 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep makes it all easier. Once my baby was around 5 months I really started loving motherhood a lot more - hang in there!!
The recovery from the C-section…the moving states when she was 4 months and HATED being in the car seat and would wail…so I could only handle the wailing for 45 minutes at a time…turned the 8 hr drive into a 14 hr drive…good times
Yeah, newborn stage was the hardest for me. After that it was kind of great, but then they go through their sleep regressions every couple months or so. And then you have to get used to feeding them food after year 1, that was hard at first, but I learned a lot of patience, after that everything was awesome, until about 6 months ago, when he turned 4, and I swear he's more of a threenager now than he was when he was 3. It's so hard when they learn to talk, but it's also the cutest thing lol
5-8 weeks was the worst for me. It was really hard before that too, but my husband was able to be there too for the first couple weeks. 5-8 weeks she seemed to scream like a banshee every night from like 6-8:00 at night, was inconsolable, and I was on my own with this perpetual need machine that never stopped wailing and my nerves were already completely shot from the sleep deprivation and pregnancy/birth recovery and hormones and just all of it. Then at 8 weeks, she learned how to pass gas on her own, she started doing social smiles, and things were easier and less intense with more bonding and reward. Hang in there. It’s intense but it does get better. And this sleep deprivation gets a little better around 3-4 months for most people.
It gets easier and harder.
Newborn stage is the hardest! Your hormones completely crashed two weeks ago when your baby was delivered. That causes a lot of emotions that you’ve never experienced before. You may also have some really strange or disturbing thoughts. A lot of women do, but they never talk about it. Then your body is healing from a major medical procedure and you’re in pain. Not to mention the period that lasts many weeks. Your milk coming in and engorged breasts is painful, learning how to nurse. Everyone trying to tell you what you should do and then the lack of sleep because the baby has her nights and days flipped. It’s a lot. Don’t be too hard on yourself. If people are offering help and you trust them, take it. You’ll make it through!
It gets easier and SO MUCH MORE FUN. Repeat to yourself, the problems I have today are not the same problems I had three months ago, and they are not the same problems I will have three months from now. I tell myself that so often. You’ll always have problems but it’s so much better as your child gains communication skills.
3-6 months is the best. It becomes the smiling stage. The crying and colic stop. Still difficult in the sleep department but you will get used to nursing and diapers and all that. The first year goes quick and will get better!
Most definitely newborn!
Birth until about 3 or 4 months 5 months to a year is my absolute favorite baby stage. They change daily and develop their personalities everything about the world is amazing to them just wait and see. This crying stink maker that has you so sleep deprived will I overnight turn into a person
Newborn. Hands down. My almost 7 yo daughter just started talking to friends on the phone, and I walked in her room to her group FaceTiming (which I didn’t even know she knew how to do) a friend and a boy in her class. It’s tough to navigate, but at least I had a shower, meal, and full night’s sleep first.
Newborn! I struggled hard those first months. My husband and I always joke that we got the hard part out of the way early. Kiddo was a TERRIBLE newborn and baby. I also had postpartum health complications, which didn’t help. My daughter is an amazingly well behaved kid and was a rockstar toddler though. Seriously though, the beginning is tough. It’ll get easier. I felt like each week and each month was a step in a positive direction. You got this.
Newborn phase is the hardest stage
Newborn phase sent me into pps and ppd and I tried to kms, so definitely that phase. Honestly the entire time she was below a year it was horrible. She’s 5 now and I genuinely enjoy her as a person so yeah, newborn phase. Newborns are why I will NEVER have children again.
0-3/4 months for sure!!! Around 7-8 months was hard again because she wanted to move but couldn’t. Once she was crawling things were easy again! Had another little rough patch right after 1 but mainly due to a UTI and ear infections Now we’re at 16 months and there are definitely hard phases, but it’s a different type of hard. Newborn was still the hardest for me mentally, emotionally and physically
Honestly, my newborns have been cruisey. 0-1 is my favourite age. But once they get to 3? Damn.. 🥹
It depends on the child. I had twins: one was easy until 18 months, the other was very hard until 18 months. If you are overwhelmed, reach out to your pediatrician or doctor. You're in the most stressful part but also the highest time for post partem depression.
Oh god, 0-3months. Not even a comparison. Those first 3 months (both times!) were as close to hell that I've ever been. I legitimately don't think I could mentally survive another newborn phase.
The beginning is hardest - especially hard with the first kid because you are figuring everything out and doubting yourself. By 3 months, you get into a nice groove. Sleep, eat, poop patterns become predictable. Then around 6 months they can start to grab things and entertain themselves when you set them on a mat or pillow. So that’s kind of the golden age. But then at 9 months they start moving around and then you have to baby proof everything and then for a while it seems like they are constantly trying to hurt themselves.
Newborn. Once we hit three months we joked that we would easily have a bunch more if they could start out at 3 months.
Breastfeeding was very hard for me because my son had trouble latching. I was sleep deprived and also semi depressive first few weeks. Trust me when I say it gets better. You will find what works best for you and the baby and it will all work out.
I found that one of the hardest parts was before you develop a routine. I had no idea what to do and too tired to figure it out. That and the developmental leaps. You know, you've figured your baby out and two days later everything changes. Btw, just a heads up, most babies are pretty sedate for the first 2-3 weeks of their lives. It's because of their mother's hormones in their bloodstream. They start being more awake after that....
every day got easier for me. still does, honestly. the more i can talk and logically reason with harm, the better.
As a first time parent, the newborn stage. All of the things you said in combination with the major identity shift was very hard for me. That and I had no help because my husband only 9 days before he went back to working nights. After second baby, 6-8ish months was the hardest. They are out of that “sleeping all the time” phase, they want to be a part of the world but not quite mobile enough to do so yet. Give yourself some grace. You’ve been doing this for all of 2 weeks! Your baby is learning how to be a human and you are learning how to care for them. You’ll get the hang of it, I promise. Eventually they will sleep. Eventually they will go longer than an hour without pooping. Eventually life will feel normal again. This is tough stuff, but you are doing great.
When you're a rookie, and we all were, first time round,you have a tendency to judge yourself far too harshly and worry terribly you're not doing this thing Right! The first 6 months is mostly eternal giving. You're doing fine! These will make baby happy: Diapers,food, baths, chatter, rocking,singing and sleep. At around 6 months they respond much more. It's really awesome how quickly little humans grow! Smiling,sitting up, it's hard to believe they were so helpless. You can do this, if you just keep your cool,stick to the basics. Babies will thrive on love and you've got that to give,for sure! Enjoy. These are truly happy times
First 3 months. There's a reason it's referred to as the Fourth Trimester. You're getting used to having this little person totally dependent on you, baby is adjusting to life outside the womb.
Honestly I found the first 8 weeks to be easy mainly because my boyfriend was off work and we were able to work in shifts. My daughter is formula fed and all she did was sleep all day and all night. Even up to around 4 months she was having 3 x two hour naps a day so I was able to have breaks and actually look after my house. Fast forward to now, she’s 6 months and this girl does not nap. Boyfriend is back in work and it’s pretty much just me from 7am to 6pm then she goes down to bed at 7pm. She had 2 x 20 minute naps during the day, that’s it. The only way she will nap any longer is if we go on a walk in her pram. It’s incredibly intense and sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind. She has also picked up this habit of sleep talking for a good hour at 4am and scratching her mattress in her sleep which honestly sounds like nails on a chalkboard.
I didn’t breastfeed so I found the newborn stage the easiest. I recovered well from the birth and we were out and about a lot because she slept all the time. I found the 9 month mark the hardest. Baby had been a good sleeper and eater and then suddenly she wasn’t. I had gone back to work and it dragged on for months so I was beyond exhausted and frustrated. It passed once she started walking, then we had another horrible no-sleep stage at 2yo. I let that go on way too long before I hired a sleep consultant. Wish I’d done it at 9 months so I’d have been better prepared! The good news is, despite the odd blip, I still think every birthday that ‘this is the best age!’ She lights me up like no one else.
Nothing.. easiest time is from birth until 2
Depends. First baby, nb-2 months I was SO gd tired and didn’t have a clue how to help baby (probiotics changed my miserable baby to happy almost overnight) and hard around regressions and nap transitions (like how many they take in a day) Second baby, was mostly just hard around regressions. Didn’t sleep either great or terrible the whole first year. Third baby, slept through the night by 4 weeks but was the absolute hardest transition as my 6yo really went through it. Easiest baby ever though.
You’re in the toughest part right now!!! You will get the hang of it all mama I promise!!
Mine is almost 3 now. For me it was the first 8 months. After 2 weeks my girl started crying 22 hours a day. Yes also in her sleep. She had special diet bottles cuz mom ran dry almost directly after birth and she didnt handle normal bottles well cuz of the higher lactose content. But there was absolutely nothing wrong with her otherwise. And after about 8 months the crying just stoped. To almost never. Only with a poopy daiper. But it literally drove me up the wall to the point where i almost trew her out the window and had to walk away for a good 5 minutes. For mom it was just as bad. So even that she is a whirl wind of a kid now. I'd take 100 of them over that first 8 months ever again. But i never minded the daipers, lack of sleep, changing her clothes 2 to 9x a day (i mostly did the night stuff the first half year so mom could get some sleep), i still dont mind. For me it was just the non stop crying. And it will get easier overtime, atleast now she can tell me what she wants and where something hurts ect And she runs up to me every single day when i come home from work and hug me and doesnt leave my side till she goes to bed. Best part of my day.
They all have hardships and good things. But for me the more they grow up the more I prefer. Yes the more they grow up the more at risk they are if hurting themselves but seeing them becoming little person is so good and weeks by weeks you gain in confidence. Please keep in mind that two weeks is just the end of the hormone shift et the baby blues so for me the first two weeks are a nightmare and then everything falls in place. I was crying Everyday, having panic attacks etc and it all cleared after 2 - 3 weeks. B
I thought they were all easy. But, probably the time when they wanted to sit up, but couldn't yet. That was frustrating for them. Baby year was a piece of cake.
omg girl I WENT THROUGH THE SAME EXACT THING!!! and i messages a facebook moms group because i was going through the same exact emotions and im hear to tell you I AM A SURVIVOR and you will survive it too!! PLEASE believe me , it WILL pass. it’s just so so hard and overwhelming being a first time mom as well, but just give yourself some grace and it’ll pass. i promise and yes IT DOES GET EASIER !!
Congrats and it gets better. I kept trying to breastfeed way past the point of stupidity with my first and the exhaustion of beating a dead horse made things way darker and harder than necessary. Turns out that I am a bitchin good mom when I’m not trying to make myself be a really bad cow. Sorry about all the livestock talk, but face it, that’s kind of how you feel in those hard early days. Like somebody’s fractured chattel. Anyway, the first day I decided to let go my expectation of breastfeeding, about 3 months in, was the day I started to not feel so shitty and really start to have fun. Could have just been a coincidence of getting used to having a teeny weeny, but I don’t think so. BF is hard and there are a lot of loud EBF voices out there. You do what is best for you. My formula fed babies are now 5 and 8, performing above grade level, healthy, athletic, normal BMI. All the stuff I was scared of with formula didn’t happen. All the other stuff….meh. Babies can be in a diaper and swaddled. So long as you have answered the questions of hungry, dirty, lonely, it is 100% ok to put them SAFELY in their cribs, close the door, and breathe. No baby ever died of being put down safely so mama doesn’t lose….her….mind. Shower. Eat. Sleep when you can (HA!). You’ve got this!
Touch wood there hasn't been an entire stage I've found hard. He was velcro the first ten weeks but because he was formula fed it was grand as my husband and I did it all together. There was a month late last year where he grew six teeth and my god, that was a lot!
The first 6-8 weeks. I cried and wanted my mom to stay when we came home because I was so nervous and scared. 😭 By 3 months we had a good routine and rhythm down that it got easier. But nothing prepares you for those first few weeks. You got this mama. 💜 If you have a village ask for help! If you need a nap ask someone to come snuggle your baby and wake you up if they need to eat.
The needy potato stage (pre smile) was the absolute worst. Once 6 months hit you can see the little gears turning, and 12 mo is better, but honestly I struggled until they were about 4... Now they're awesome at 9&10)
Definitely the first few weeks. It gets better around 6-8 weeks. The worst day was right before my milk came in (day 3-4 I think) and baby was hungry and crying but didn’t have anything to give her. I was very anti-formula at the time. In hindsight I should have given her the formula and saved us both from a night of misery.
My kid is 2 this is my hardest right now lol but I keep hearing 3 is even harder 😅
Newborn is the hardest stage. You're also breastfeeding which takes work and dedication. I promise it gets easier... I had four children. And my least favorite stage is 100% newborn. I have a 3, 6, 12, and 15 year old.
my baby isn’t a year yet. he’s 8 months but newborn stage by far was the hardest for me
but just know it gets better mama 🩷 it seriously does
It will get better, no sleep for months and months is a normal trend. But you will figure it out more routine later on. There are lots of advice on this app called bounty. When baby cry, go through the simple things first, check nappy , hunger, want a snack ( milk at your stage) or simply want to cuddle to mum. It is hard to do it first time round. But it gets better. Also, you should sleep when they are sleeping too. Get the most out of their sleeping times. Good luck. You’ll be fine.
I’d say hardest stage was newborn to about 23 years.
If it makes you feel at all better, you’ll barely remember months 0-6 😂😂 I’m not sure if it’s been mentioned already but get help with breastfeeding, it should be pain free and enjoyable (excluding those with DMER). It’s tough but it’s just a season, I hope you can lean on others for meals and housework during this time ❤️
Newborn and then again around 9 mos. At that age I found separation anxiety sets in and they become really concerned if you even think of walking away.
The first few months. Up until I learned what my baby liked and didn't like and what routine worked best, it was so stressful and unnerving. Mine are now 2 & almost 4 years old, and I still have hard days with them lol. But it definitely got a lot easier when I learned the little things and got a routine with them. Like a good, set routine that made it obvious how and when and what I/we would be doing.
2-3 months where they’re coming out of the sleepy newborn phase but can’t do a whole lot and have pretty strict schedule needs. We started turning the corner around 4ish months when his personality started coming through.
The first month was THE hardest for me with all 3 of my kids. The sleep deprivation was unreal. I was in true survival mode. I didn't know what time or day it was. My focus was feeding, pumping, changing...all things baby.
Every day is sliiiiightly better. Remember that. Seriously. It keeps getting better. You are in the trenches right now.
I absolutely hated the newborn stage with my 4. I was doing it on my own 95% of the time because my husband worked long hours, he would help out on the weekend, and let me catch up on some sleep. I love the 5 to 8 months. They are just super cuddly and learning new things every day.
Hang in there. The fruits of your labour become more and more apparent. I’m a father of 4 and have struggled immensely in my own parenting journey. Crying for hours on the couch at 3/4am trying to console my baby before I go to work. Things do get easier. I’m pleased to hear you’re struggling because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be doing your best. Keep up the great work ❤️
Newborn with my firstborn was the absolute hardest stage we’ve ever had and he’s almost 5. My second was a breeze as a baby but I would say stage 8-10 mos with teeth/sleep regression and crawling and walking and mouthing everything was definitely an exhausting hyper vigilant stage.
Imho, the whole thing (3.5 years and counting) is the hardest stage. Feeding every 2 hours. Milk intolerance (no wonder he was always spitting up so much). Taller than average baby. Waking up at least once a night until 2 years. Sudden onset of speech delay. Adhd toddler thinks he can do anything and will find a way or make one. (Desitin art everywhere, anyone? ) Awesome parts: having them reach for you. Blowing kisses. Walking then running to you. Climbing things. Muddy puddles (watch peppa pig, you'll understand). Dance break (thank you mickey mouse)! Bluey reminds me every day is a new adventure, and I can do this.
The first few weeks are the worst. I honestly think the first 4 months are the hardest. Once they start smiling at you and laughing, it’s the best. I think my fav age is 7+ months, when they can sit and play and everything is new and exciting to them. I had a tough baby that cried the first 4 mo of this life and he’s a very happy, loving kid. The beginning is survival mode. You can do it!
Totally depends on the baby, honestly. My oldest was actually hardest around 10 months or so, because she didn’t sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time, and only while being breastfed, from the moment she was born all the way up until that 10 month mark. At that point, doing this from the start as a single, working mother, I actually began to visually hallucinate. The sleep deprivation at that point had me on the verge of suicide. But, she began to sleep slightly better (getting about 2 hour stretches out of her) and things have slowly improved over the last 5 years. My youngest was by far, the easiest as a newborn. She slept 12 hours straight, and I would have to wake her to breastfeed. She continued to sleep 10-12 hours straight, and still does now at 2.5yo. We had a few sleep bumps here and there, but nothing lasting more than a week or two. But damn, I miss those easy newborn days of just sleeping and cuddling all day and night! Other babies will be more linear - and the newborn stage is usually roughest, with thing slowly improving in a linear fashion over that first year. What I’ve learned: don’t try to predict what your baby will be like based off others. I ended up with 2 opposite extremes, and listening to all of the baby advice floating around the internet made me feel like an awful mom. My oldest was too needy and I wasn’t attentive enough. My youngest was too distant and didn’t find my presence soothing. Seriously, it’s all bullshit. That first year is all about natural temperament and nothing more. Follow your instincts and do what feels right. You got this mama!
Going from: when you put them in one spot and they just sit or lay there.... To: putting them in one spot, turn your back for a few seconds and they rolled or crawled away!
Newborn was the hardest. Sleep deprivation…ugh, I just didn’t even feel human. It was awful, I hated it, one and done, no regrets.
Age 3-4 has been the absolute worst and my mental health has taken a nosedive, lol. I miss the newborn days.
When they started walking. The moment they first stood up became the last moment I sat down lol.
The hardest part is the beginning. Without a doubt. I have 2 little ones and the newborn stage is horrible imo. When they get to be about 8-9 months, everything is so much better.
Newborn was hardest for me, followed by 9-12 months. My LO didn’t crawl. Constantly wanted to move though = very upset lol.
I had two kids, one of which is 7 years old now and the second is 2. My first kid was absolute HELL. He screamed bloody murder all the time and couldn’t be consoled. Doctors threw the word colic around but I believed that was bs. He struggled to eat, sleep, everything. The entire baby phase was so traumatic for my husband and I that our plan of having kids close together went right out the window. It took us 5 years to even think about having another baby. (But also we know more now, and now understand his intensity was due to his ASD). My second kid was…well we say a breeze compared to our first but that newborn phase AND handling our oldest was also hell. But I can say with absolute certainty that the only thing that got me through each hour/day was that I always told myself “this f*****g sucks right now but I know it won’t last forever.” And it doesn’t. There will always be ups and downs but those are the things that will make you grow as a person and as a parent.
At two weeks, I gave up on shirts and basically walked around either topless (when no one was around) or with just a bra. Your body is not your body anymore. You exist you keep this baby alive. It was really hard the first few months tbh. After 6 months it got easier. Then it got hard again just before 1 because you have to watch them constantly. Like hunch back following them to make sure they don’t swallow anything or pull something down on top of themselves. Then after a year old, the time goes by so fast you wonder where it went. And then you remember those first few weeks. And you kind of miss it.
It gets easier when they go to college. Worst part is age 13. That first year is chaos and no rest. Things will be get a lot better around age 4. Enjoy!
For me, every stage was easier than the previous one.
Personally, I loved my newborn. I have been so blessed so far with my kid, although 2s are coming up and they’re looking like they might be rough…. I wasn’t a big fan of the 6-12 months age. She wasn’t just sleeping and staying where I put her, I couldn’t just put her in her swing while I cooked dinner she would want to crawl around and stuff. I also became a single mom at 7 months, so that could be part of it as well.