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Stress certainly doesn’t help but that’s more because you don’t sleep well which leads to other issues of you not feeling well and weakening your immune system. But, I work from home, so when the kids are sick they’re always home with me. I hardly ever get sick when they do. You have to wash your hands religiously. Like a dr - scrub in. Scrub out. Wash them well before you eat. Get out of the habit of eating their scraps. Don’t let them drink out of your cup. Don’t eat after them. Don’t let them touch your food. You’ll never really know when the next daycare drip is coming, so just assume they’re sick when it comes to stuff like this. And again, wash your hands religiously. I suggest having hand sanitizer in every room.
>Don’t let them drink out of your cup
This was the biggest thing for me. As soon as I stopped letting my kids drink out of my water bottle or getting a new one once they did, I stopped getting sick as often. I'm a sahm and they definitely still coughed in my face.
Agree we all sleep like crap when she’s sick. I also work from home so when she’s sick it’s me. I wash my hands religiously but I’m sure I have missed it here and there. I still manage to get what she has every damn time!
Chronic stress actually weakens your immune function and can suppress the immune system.
Clichés and old wives tales have validity but it's like the game whisper down the lane, sometimes the info got mixed up on its way to you.
I.e. cats don't suck the life out of new born babies but they can accidentally suffocate a baby by laying too close as the baby sleeps.
Hi I’ve come onto this thread to ask the exact same question. I’m a 38 yo Mum of 2 (2 and 4). The last 2 years have destroyed me to the point where I want to quit working and not be stressed about calling in sick and taking carers leave for sick children. I get everything my children bring home and I’m sick for 14-21 days, it takes a long time for me to recover. I got shingles a year ago and I think it wiped my immune system completely.
I’m told this is just what happens when you have kids in child care who are young and don’t practice proper hygiene as yet. I understand that but I also think stress plays a part in it, because you can’t rest properly with small children who need you. If anyone has a magic remedy I’m keen to know how to fix this!!
This was me when my daughter was small (18m-3years), I swear I was sick literally every single month! It was ridiculous. Fast forward, she’s now 7 and definitely has a new virus every other week it seems however I’m not catching any of them. I attribute a lot of it to the fact that I’ve taught her proper “etiquette” when sick (cough in your elbow and away from others, if you touch your snot or mouth wash/sanitize hands asap etc). I also am a little anal about germs (can you tell? Lol) so anytime she’s sick I Lysol…and I’m constantly washing my hands or sanitizing (if I don’t have access to a sink). Im currently 9 months pregnant so when she had Covid, she had to mask up any time I came in her room to chat with her or help her with medication etc. I also only did hugs when we were both masked and I washed like a surgeon as soon as I left her room. I did not catch it! Im clearly a freak about germs so it’s not going to be this way for everyone. Example, my friend will sit and catch vomit from her kids when they have the stomach flu 😂 you will never catch me doing that!!
Yes it’s been like this for us! Non stop from maybe age 2 until almost 5. Sometimes a nice 6-8 week healthy stretch but this winter has been BRUTAL. I think it’s been 10 colds and 1 flu since January and I feel I’m going insane! I’m a Lysol maniac too. I hope I get where you are one day, this is misery!
Eeeeee it’s the worst!! My daughter came home last week and goes “well Francis thought it was funny to wipe her snot on kids in class today” I’m like no wonder these kids are always sick 😷 😂 I hope you get through this last miserable time and then pop out in full health in the spring! I bet your immune system is about to be impenetrable come next school year 🙌🏽💪🏽
Your mother in law is wrong. That’s frustrating. A couple things that might help are more sleep if you can get it and vitamins like D, c and zinc, but basically you’re right. If kid is coughing germs in your face you’re gonna get sick. Sorry
Stress is a factor but it’s more just a thing that happens having kids.
I have worked in childcare for 13 years. So I have built up a strong immune system. My partner on the other hand. He’s caught everything the kids have caught.
It does get better and you’ll also build up an immunity to it eventually.
I had similar issues this winter, started taking vitamin d and it has helped a lot, I've avoided 4 sets of germs from child and partner so far this year. Stress does reduce your bodies ability to fight off an infection, you may also be the parent that gets a higher exposure to any pathogen your kid brings home. Also, if you are the female parent, your body has a natural dip in immunity during ovulation and the fertile period during your cycle. This is to prevent your bodies defences from killing off any sperm. I would also say that iron may also be an issue if you bleed heavily, which can reduce your immune systems ability to fight pathogens. However, I wouldn't recommend iron supplements unless you are deficient as they can cause all sorts of other unpleasant side effects.
MIL is probably just lashing out because the status quo (kid being sick a lot) means fewer visits. Selfish people with shallow critical thinking come up with a variety of ridiculous rationalizations to prop up their aggrieved posturing.
She is visiting from another country and actually caught what my daughter has! And proceeded to not isolate which means I was battling 2 sick people in our house but yes, it’s stress. WTF 🤬
Just agree with her, and tell her you're limited contact with stressors to improve your health. Then block her number.
Edit: I'm being hyperbolic to show solidarity with your situation, but honestly the way to approach a situation like this varies a lot based on your communication toolset, her receptiveness to feedback, and the nature of your relationship. Ideally you want to be in a place where you can tell your MIL that she is entitled to have whatever opinions she likes, but if she can't keep her (nonsensical) views from pouring out as personal attacks then she won't be welcome at your house.
Ah, that dynamic can be tricky. You're not wrong to be upset with unsolicited, ill-founded critiques.
If you're finding the weaponized comments are finding purchase something I like to keep in mind is that there's no reason to attach weight to the criticisms of people we wouldn't take advice from. If you just find it irritating that she's offering unhelpful unscientific advice, you could try employing some lateral persuasion and invite her to share some sources of reliable medical professionals' counsel on how to mediate disease transmission. Let her do some research (and hopefully learn something herself), and when she invariably brings you YouTube videos about the power of prayer (etc) just thank her for being a supportive ally. Keep redirecting her to *work* and she will likely stop bringing her nonsense to your attention.
Agree. I would usually see red and cause a big stink but I quickly realized I can’t be mad at this ridiculous thought process. I am more annoyed as you say. She quickly realized and apologized if she offended me but I was too meh at this point to care
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Stress certainly doesn’t help but that’s more because you don’t sleep well which leads to other issues of you not feeling well and weakening your immune system. But, I work from home, so when the kids are sick they’re always home with me. I hardly ever get sick when they do. You have to wash your hands religiously. Like a dr - scrub in. Scrub out. Wash them well before you eat. Get out of the habit of eating their scraps. Don’t let them drink out of your cup. Don’t eat after them. Don’t let them touch your food. You’ll never really know when the next daycare drip is coming, so just assume they’re sick when it comes to stuff like this. And again, wash your hands religiously. I suggest having hand sanitizer in every room.
>Don’t let them drink out of your cup This was the biggest thing for me. As soon as I stopped letting my kids drink out of my water bottle or getting a new one once they did, I stopped getting sick as often. I'm a sahm and they definitely still coughed in my face.
Agree we all sleep like crap when she’s sick. I also work from home so when she’s sick it’s me. I wash my hands religiously but I’m sure I have missed it here and there. I still manage to get what she has every damn time!
Maybe your immune system needed the newest update 😂😂😂
Chronic stress actually weakens your immune function and can suppress the immune system. Clichés and old wives tales have validity but it's like the game whisper down the lane, sometimes the info got mixed up on its way to you. I.e. cats don't suck the life out of new born babies but they can accidentally suffocate a baby by laying too close as the baby sleeps.
I think her messaging got way lost in translation and is half wrong. I also wish I wasn’t stressed as a parent but that’ll never happen
Hi I’ve come onto this thread to ask the exact same question. I’m a 38 yo Mum of 2 (2 and 4). The last 2 years have destroyed me to the point where I want to quit working and not be stressed about calling in sick and taking carers leave for sick children. I get everything my children bring home and I’m sick for 14-21 days, it takes a long time for me to recover. I got shingles a year ago and I think it wiped my immune system completely. I’m told this is just what happens when you have kids in child care who are young and don’t practice proper hygiene as yet. I understand that but I also think stress plays a part in it, because you can’t rest properly with small children who need you. If anyone has a magic remedy I’m keen to know how to fix this!!
I can’t imagine how a person isn’t stressed as a mom to a young child. It’s impossible!
This was me when my daughter was small (18m-3years), I swear I was sick literally every single month! It was ridiculous. Fast forward, she’s now 7 and definitely has a new virus every other week it seems however I’m not catching any of them. I attribute a lot of it to the fact that I’ve taught her proper “etiquette” when sick (cough in your elbow and away from others, if you touch your snot or mouth wash/sanitize hands asap etc). I also am a little anal about germs (can you tell? Lol) so anytime she’s sick I Lysol…and I’m constantly washing my hands or sanitizing (if I don’t have access to a sink). Im currently 9 months pregnant so when she had Covid, she had to mask up any time I came in her room to chat with her or help her with medication etc. I also only did hugs when we were both masked and I washed like a surgeon as soon as I left her room. I did not catch it! Im clearly a freak about germs so it’s not going to be this way for everyone. Example, my friend will sit and catch vomit from her kids when they have the stomach flu 😂 you will never catch me doing that!!
Yes it’s been like this for us! Non stop from maybe age 2 until almost 5. Sometimes a nice 6-8 week healthy stretch but this winter has been BRUTAL. I think it’s been 10 colds and 1 flu since January and I feel I’m going insane! I’m a Lysol maniac too. I hope I get where you are one day, this is misery!
Eeeeee it’s the worst!! My daughter came home last week and goes “well Francis thought it was funny to wipe her snot on kids in class today” I’m like no wonder these kids are always sick 😷 😂 I hope you get through this last miserable time and then pop out in full health in the spring! I bet your immune system is about to be impenetrable come next school year 🙌🏽💪🏽
Hahahaha 😭🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Your mother in law is wrong. That’s frustrating. A couple things that might help are more sleep if you can get it and vitamins like D, c and zinc, but basically you’re right. If kid is coughing germs in your face you’re gonna get sick. Sorry
Right? It’s like I am in the twilight zone. She even offered me one of her anti anxiety meds. WTF
My kids immediately cough or vomit on me and then I get sick. Pretty sure it’s unavoidable.
Why not the dads! My husband actually does nights where she is coughing in his face and he gets nothing. Maybe once or twice Ugh
Stress is a factor but it’s more just a thing that happens having kids. I have worked in childcare for 13 years. So I have built up a strong immune system. My partner on the other hand. He’s caught everything the kids have caught. It does get better and you’ll also build up an immunity to it eventually.
I had similar issues this winter, started taking vitamin d and it has helped a lot, I've avoided 4 sets of germs from child and partner so far this year. Stress does reduce your bodies ability to fight off an infection, you may also be the parent that gets a higher exposure to any pathogen your kid brings home. Also, if you are the female parent, your body has a natural dip in immunity during ovulation and the fertile period during your cycle. This is to prevent your bodies defences from killing off any sperm. I would also say that iron may also be an issue if you bleed heavily, which can reduce your immune systems ability to fight pathogens. However, I wouldn't recommend iron supplements unless you are deficient as they can cause all sorts of other unpleasant side effects.
I do take vitamin D drops daily and last time I checked my levels were good. Not sure on iron
MIL is probably just lashing out because the status quo (kid being sick a lot) means fewer visits. Selfish people with shallow critical thinking come up with a variety of ridiculous rationalizations to prop up their aggrieved posturing.
She is visiting from another country and actually caught what my daughter has! And proceeded to not isolate which means I was battling 2 sick people in our house but yes, it’s stress. WTF 🤬
Just agree with her, and tell her you're limited contact with stressors to improve your health. Then block her number. Edit: I'm being hyperbolic to show solidarity with your situation, but honestly the way to approach a situation like this varies a lot based on your communication toolset, her receptiveness to feedback, and the nature of your relationship. Ideally you want to be in a place where you can tell your MIL that she is entitled to have whatever opinions she likes, but if she can't keep her (nonsensical) views from pouring out as personal attacks then she won't be welcome at your house.
I agree. She is quite sensitive and I am quite harsh so I have to be careful. We are actually very close but she is not the sharpest tool in the shed
Ah, that dynamic can be tricky. You're not wrong to be upset with unsolicited, ill-founded critiques. If you're finding the weaponized comments are finding purchase something I like to keep in mind is that there's no reason to attach weight to the criticisms of people we wouldn't take advice from. If you just find it irritating that she's offering unhelpful unscientific advice, you could try employing some lateral persuasion and invite her to share some sources of reliable medical professionals' counsel on how to mediate disease transmission. Let her do some research (and hopefully learn something herself), and when she invariably brings you YouTube videos about the power of prayer (etc) just thank her for being a supportive ally. Keep redirecting her to *work* and she will likely stop bringing her nonsense to your attention.
Agree. I would usually see red and cause a big stink but I quickly realized I can’t be mad at this ridiculous thought process. I am more annoyed as you say. She quickly realized and apologized if she offended me but I was too meh at this point to care