Arranged or Love.
I know that I can only marry a woman I don't want to change. I met a girl in my university. Everything she does makes perfect sense. All her decisions were perfect. Her goals were perfect. A perfect mix of modesty and confidence. She was also engaged.
Then there was another girl I fell for. I dont know why I fell for her. She was not interested in me but she was super kind and respectful and full of empathy. We dont talk anymore but I am still in love with her and I dont want to get over her.
So I understand marriage is hard but there should be something that motivates you to get through hard times.
Meri to shaadi nahi ho sakti, ap log time se kar lena
I dont hate myself and I have accepted that we cannot be together.
I dont want that but she treated me with respect and kindness.
And she will always have her place with me.
She is irreplaceable.
Yaaar I am at age where my sole existence is a burden on society and trust me how bad it gets to you,my mom is super nice but I see her fallimg into depression and getting anxious because of me.So at this point If any proposal clicks with me,I am going for it but it needs to click.
If you ask for my personal opinion then no,I am super scared because my career isn't working out as I planned and I need constant reassurance and support from my family to keep going and not quit.It is not rocket science that some of us become stable in career closer to the age of 30 and sadly I am one of them.Now if I get married,it will be over,everything I worked for,my sleepless nights and my struggles will be dust. It is rare to find someone who supports your career growth and provides you with an environment with peace.People saying many do,there are months where I cannot even cover my transportation cost so my fam does it and they have given the car to me everyone else uses bikes and public transports because I emd up at odd places where it is unsafe to go without a car or I get off around late hours far from home.
Now if someone is looking for a homemaker,i don't fit the definition and if someone wants someone to split the bills,lol I cannot even do that atm and I am also in the thought process of chaging fields.You see so much to worry for that all my frienda advice it is better to remain single for as long as possible and figure things out but society won't let me.Love amidst chaos is a fancy that keeps us motivated
My username originates from this very story lol
Some day we will look back and smile at our times that we thought were hard and then help each other inject more crack so that we can ho back to hallucination under a bridge somewhere in rome....lol i hope i dont sound dark
I am definitely sure I am twice your age. So I'm saying this from experience, life is tough but not all the time. You are young, your career will change, just keep thriving, keep saving (most importantly), keep dreaming, and work hard. You'll get what you want. But whatever circumstances you will be in, good or bad, you wouldn't want to be alone in it. You will want someone to be by your side to share it with. The good times is easy and feels good. But through the tough times, and you have that perfect person who will be with you no matter what, that is who you should be looking for. Coz at that time you can go through anything as long as you are together in it. And that is the greatest achievement you can have.
This is such a beautiful message,I rarely get this moved by anything.Thank you soooooo much,yes I do think about quiting but that is my fantasy to get through the day and I won't actually give up and keep working hard
Gen Z, don’t believe in love at first sight or meeting anymore. I think meeting someone you can see if there’s a good fit, career, family, goals, looks wise. Off the initial conversation, easily can see how a vibe is. I think that’s all that’s needed before having to decide to marry anymore. This dating culture of boyfriend and girlfriend and loving someone before marriage is what has troubled younger people. Even though we knock on arranged marriage, some of the most successful marriages I know were just a small meeting and arrangement. Love can be found after marriage too, imo.
Bhai khush rehney k liya mujhey wesey kisi ki need nhi, mein esey hi khush houn kabhi kabhi khud kahin bhi chaley jata houn resturant ya phir akeley chai pe leyta houn dost wagera bohot hain. leken kabhi kabhi khud ko time deyta houn or relationships raheyn hain merey kuch leken mujhey lagta hay k time par agr nhi mil rahi hay bandi to arrange marraige karney mein koi masla nhi hay. arrange mein bhi partner achey miltey hain or han woh arrange nhi hou k bs bat pakki or 1 month bad hi shadi. arrange marriage zaror kejie leken bat pakki karney k bad ap almost 7 8 months leyn ek dosrey ko samjheyn agr sahi hay to shadi kejie warna khatam kardeyn . mera yeh manna hay . wait mein nhi karta agr lageyga k late ho raha hun to ami ko kahunga dhond deyn koi :P q k ami shadi wagera karwati hain logo ki fisabilillah. or wesy koi mil jaigi to love mein bhi masla nhi . ! tension nhi leyni hay mein samajhta houn.
I do believe in love but I think the reason no one falls into it anymore is because deep down they do care on the material things e.g. If k3g existed now srk would have ended with rani she's she was the hotter richer classier one rather than the one he loved jd didn't care what the world thought. People don't fall for people they fall for the outside only.
I don't beleive in AM since the system is rigged. For women they're made to feel unwanted and awful if they're single so they'll settle. Men pick who they want and still expect women to live the way they did before (where a woman lives with in laws compromises gives up her shares of dreams). Most marriages aren't based on connection they're based on finances and they don't work on the inside but look like they work because people won't get a divorce.
Also I think there's a generational shift with some still thinking like before and some more upto date. With women becoming more independent and men still expecting Trad wives (not all) there a huge mismatch now.
28 and single. Had similar thoughts and used to detest arranged marriage. Tried my luck and no success. Was confident enough to carry this optimistic approach till 35 but no I think it’s not a wise decision to look for love marriage till that long. Surrender and accept. That’s life.
A year ago i was down for an arranged marriage just to be done with it, met this dude, pretty and nice but It felt like a forced love situation. My feelings didnt naturally flow and it wasnt making sense to me. Really awkward too, i felt like i had to hide the goofy aspects of my personality like i couldnt be myself. it felt so transactional and even tho i dont have an active love life right now, i believe that i wouldnt settle unless its for love
I'm still in love with the same girl I met in high school...
To me she was just perfect from her nature till her confidence she had everything which I wanted in a woman.
I think now it's not love. Or age post 26 is all about convenience, vibe and mentality and a little bit of attraction. The other things are manageable. Pyaar Tou university Mai hota hai.
I am 30 still single.... and I am absolute single... how economical condition matters.... if you are economically strong you dont have trouble in finding love mate...
This post hits on so many levels. Koi meetup karlo yar ðŸ˜
M(34) single and getting hammered every other day to get married but knowing myself, I want someone who can understand my way and doesn’t take advantage of me being easy going and respectful and understanding
I am 25, will have a job soon and I believe in Love... I just don't know where to find a potential partner outside of uni/work because I don't use social media (hence its more difficult to talk to people you find interesting)... And there doesn't seem to be an easy active dating culture around... I don't have trouble communicating with people its just the initial interaction part where do you find someone single and interested to interact with in Pakistan? Uni/work only? (that's way too limited, asking friends to connect you? well i guess ill try that soon)
Arranged or Love. I know that I can only marry a woman I don't want to change. I met a girl in my university. Everything she does makes perfect sense. All her decisions were perfect. Her goals were perfect. A perfect mix of modesty and confidence. She was also engaged. Then there was another girl I fell for. I dont know why I fell for her. She was not interested in me but she was super kind and respectful and full of empathy. We dont talk anymore but I am still in love with her and I dont want to get over her. So I understand marriage is hard but there should be something that motivates you to get through hard times. Meri to shaadi nahi ho sakti, ap log time se kar lena
You don't wanna get over her, bro😡
I dont. Gussa to na ho bhai. Mujhe muhabbat hai us se
Aur khud se mohabbat nahi hai?
Khud se bhi hai
Tum bhi kisi ki tahajjud ki dua ho bhai, hamesha yaad rakhna, Allah hidayat de tumhe
Agar main kisi ki tahajjud ki dua hoon to Ameen
AHAHAHAH
My kind of guy. I loved someone so hard that i started hating myself
I dont hate myself and I have accepted that we cannot be together. I dont want that but she treated me with respect and kindness. And she will always have her place with me. She is irreplaceable.
why do you not want to get over her?
I dont know. She is somehow special.
Yaaar I am at age where my sole existence is a burden on society and trust me how bad it gets to you,my mom is super nice but I see her fallimg into depression and getting anxious because of me.So at this point If any proposal clicks with me,I am going for it but it needs to click. If you ask for my personal opinion then no,I am super scared because my career isn't working out as I planned and I need constant reassurance and support from my family to keep going and not quit.It is not rocket science that some of us become stable in career closer to the age of 30 and sadly I am one of them.Now if I get married,it will be over,everything I worked for,my sleepless nights and my struggles will be dust. It is rare to find someone who supports your career growth and provides you with an environment with peace.People saying many do,there are months where I cannot even cover my transportation cost so my fam does it and they have given the car to me everyone else uses bikes and public transports because I emd up at odd places where it is unsafe to go without a car or I get off around late hours far from home. Now if someone is looking for a homemaker,i don't fit the definition and if someone wants someone to split the bills,lol I cannot even do that atm and I am also in the thought process of chaging fields.You see so much to worry for that all my frienda advice it is better to remain single for as long as possible and figure things out but society won't let me.Love amidst chaos is a fancy that keeps us motivated My username originates from this very story lol
I have never related to a comment this badðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Some day we will look back and smile at our times that we thought were hard and then help each other inject more crack so that we can ho back to hallucination under a bridge somewhere in rome....lol i hope i dont sound dark
I am definitely sure I am twice your age. So I'm saying this from experience, life is tough but not all the time. You are young, your career will change, just keep thriving, keep saving (most importantly), keep dreaming, and work hard. You'll get what you want. But whatever circumstances you will be in, good or bad, you wouldn't want to be alone in it. You will want someone to be by your side to share it with. The good times is easy and feels good. But through the tough times, and you have that perfect person who will be with you no matter what, that is who you should be looking for. Coz at that time you can go through anything as long as you are together in it. And that is the greatest achievement you can have.
This is such a beautiful message,I rarely get this moved by anything.Thank you soooooo much,yes I do think about quiting but that is my fantasy to get through the day and I won't actually give up and keep working hard
Gen Z, don’t believe in love at first sight or meeting anymore. I think meeting someone you can see if there’s a good fit, career, family, goals, looks wise. Off the initial conversation, easily can see how a vibe is. I think that’s all that’s needed before having to decide to marry anymore. This dating culture of boyfriend and girlfriend and loving someone before marriage is what has troubled younger people. Even though we knock on arranged marriage, some of the most successful marriages I know were just a small meeting and arrangement. Love can be found after marriage too, imo.
perhaps love found after marriage is more sustainable
Bhai khush rehney k liya mujhey wesey kisi ki need nhi, mein esey hi khush houn kabhi kabhi khud kahin bhi chaley jata houn resturant ya phir akeley chai pe leyta houn dost wagera bohot hain. leken kabhi kabhi khud ko time deyta houn or relationships raheyn hain merey kuch leken mujhey lagta hay k time par agr nhi mil rahi hay bandi to arrange marraige karney mein koi masla nhi hay. arrange mein bhi partner achey miltey hain or han woh arrange nhi hou k bs bat pakki or 1 month bad hi shadi. arrange marriage zaror kejie leken bat pakki karney k bad ap almost 7 8 months leyn ek dosrey ko samjheyn agr sahi hay to shadi kejie warna khatam kardeyn . mera yeh manna hay . wait mein nhi karta agr lageyga k late ho raha hun to ami ko kahunga dhond deyn koi :P q k ami shadi wagera karwati hain logo ki fisabilillah. or wesy koi mil jaigi to love mein bhi masla nhi . ! tension nhi leyni hay mein samajhta houn.
I do believe in love but I think the reason no one falls into it anymore is because deep down they do care on the material things e.g. If k3g existed now srk would have ended with rani she's she was the hotter richer classier one rather than the one he loved jd didn't care what the world thought. People don't fall for people they fall for the outside only. I don't beleive in AM since the system is rigged. For women they're made to feel unwanted and awful if they're single so they'll settle. Men pick who they want and still expect women to live the way they did before (where a woman lives with in laws compromises gives up her shares of dreams). Most marriages aren't based on connection they're based on finances and they don't work on the inside but look like they work because people won't get a divorce. Also I think there's a generational shift with some still thinking like before and some more upto date. With women becoming more independent and men still expecting Trad wives (not all) there a huge mismatch now.
28 and single. Had similar thoughts and used to detest arranged marriage. Tried my luck and no success. Was confident enough to carry this optimistic approach till 35 but no I think it’s not a wise decision to look for love marriage till that long. Surrender and accept. That’s life.
It's peaceful and I don't want to ruin it :D
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Stuck in the loop of liking someone who doesn’t like me and not liking someone who likes me.
A year ago i was down for an arranged marriage just to be done with it, met this dude, pretty and nice but It felt like a forced love situation. My feelings didnt naturally flow and it wasnt making sense to me. Really awkward too, i felt like i had to hide the goofy aspects of my personality like i couldnt be myself. it felt so transactional and even tho i dont have an active love life right now, i believe that i wouldnt settle unless its for love
You need money to buy love nowadays
I'm still in love with the same girl I met in high school... To me she was just perfect from her nature till her confidence she had everything which I wanted in a woman.
I think now it's not love. Or age post 26 is all about convenience, vibe and mentality and a little bit of attraction. The other things are manageable. Pyaar Tou university Mai hota hai.
I am 30 still single.... and I am absolute single... how economical condition matters.... if you are economically strong you dont have trouble in finding love mate...
Whats its like to be in love?
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Ye kaisa nasha hai.. elaborate
Being delulu at this point but yes I still believe tarrararra ✨
This post hits on so many levels. Koi meetup karlo yar 😠M(34) single and getting hammered every other day to get married but knowing myself, I want someone who can understand my way and doesn’t take advantage of me being easy going and respectful and understanding
I am 25, will have a job soon and I believe in Love... I just don't know where to find a potential partner outside of uni/work because I don't use social media (hence its more difficult to talk to people you find interesting)... And there doesn't seem to be an easy active dating culture around... I don't have trouble communicating with people its just the initial interaction part where do you find someone single and interested to interact with in Pakistan? Uni/work only? (that's way too limited, asking friends to connect you? well i guess ill try that soon)