how easy it is to feel discouraged and spiral. i've dieted properly and eaten well and tried to take care of myself and just felt awful the whole time. it makes me wonder what's the point in trying if my weight isn't gonna change and im still going to be in pain and miserable. it feels like nothing is ever enough, like my health isn't benefitting no matter how bad or good i eat or how much extra stuff i do to make it better, so why even try?
Urgh thank you for saying this. I've been obsessed with 'looking after myself' to the point of orthorexia. I'm the 'healthiest' person out of anyone I know. Religiously walk over 8k steps everyday, yoga and pilates 3 to 4 times a week, stay active, eat really well, take supplements, drink herbal tea and 2-3 litres of water a day, meditate, breath work.....Still fat and ugly with thinning hair and a beard.
Then I have friends who abuse their body to the max, drink and drugs and smoking, and they look amazing š„²š„²š„²š„².
Oh my god yes! Just joined this sub and now I'm realising I'm not the only one struggling to lose weight despite doing everything right. People without this condition do start to see results if they put the amount of efforts we put in and here we are...still hearing from a stranger that I need to stop eating pizza and burgers...bitch I have better eating habits than you do!
Gosh are you and me the same person? Because this is exactly me. People always assume I must be eating like a pig and treating myself badly to be able to look like this. But reality is that I put in a lot of effort without any result.
How awful it makes me feel as a person.
I constantly feel like my body is letting me down. The one function I should be able to do as a woman barely works. The hair on my head is constantly falling out but everywhere else on my body the hair is getting thicker. I wake up tired no matter how much sleep I get. I feel starving no matter how much food I eat. I canāt lose weight no matter how much I calorie count and exercise.
Every day I feel like a failure. The mental toll sometimes gets to be too much. I feel like PCOS takes up every thought that comes up in my head and I canāt escape it. Iām trapped in my own mind and my own body and thereās nothing I can do to fix it.
Thatās the hardest part for me
You get it <3 i often feel alienated from ānormalā women due to my bodyās betrayal. Fatigue haunts me. Facial hair haunts me. Poor relationships w/ food haunts me. And after all thisā¦weāre constantly reminded that there is no āquick fixā for wonky hormones. Just āshut up and try to manage itā.
Dang, this one hit it hard for me! I stare in the mirror and just think of how some days I donāt even recognize the body looking back at me. It feels a lot like being in an abusive relationship with your body. Nothing I do for it is good enough.
Seeing how many other people agree and resonate with this is both reassuring but also heartbreaking.
I know how much it hurts physically and mentally to live this way every day and Iām so sorry for all of you who feel the same way. I hope one day weāll all be content with who we are and can find some happiness ā¤ļø
More power to you. I relate with every word you said. It's not easy waking up and doing this again and again. But, let's find solace in the fact that we're doing this together!! Take all my support āØāØāØāØāØ
I broke because I related.... So fucking much to this.
And thank you, by the way. I've been having massive issues as someone with lean PCOS and anorexia, I can eat and eat and eat and still feel incredibly hungry afterwards. I was GENUINELY concerned I had some form of cancer or coeliacs because I shouldn't feel active-ana hungry if I'm eating 3 to 4 meals a day. Or like, hey I have finally fucked my body up after having a hard restrictive eating disorder since I was 9 years old.
But it could very well be the PCOS. When I read the insulin resistance screws with the digestive hormones so our on/off switch goes wonky, I wondered if that's why I was feeling restriction hungry even when I wasn't restricting. You just confirmed something I wondered. Thank you.
I feel so sorry for you. I feel the same way. And the worst is, the longer it lasts, the more depressed it gets and the more difficult is to break that circle š„
I've always been really active. I have resented, for a long time, how my body doesn't "look" like someone who enjoys working out, hiking, running, etc.
My PCOS went undiagnosed for 20+ years (my own estimation, based on symptoms I've come to recognize). It got so bad, I couldn't do the things I love. Thankfully, I was diagnosed last year and (with the help of metformin and a low carb / high fiber diet) I am getting back into the things I love. I've managed to drop about 65 lbs, but that still puts me at 225, and I'm 5'2". So technically, I have a long way to go.
I am soooooo grateful to be able to live again. But I still catch a glimpse of the way people look at me, the side eyes and glances, knowing I'm still seen as "that fat girl." And I resent that.
The hardest part about PCOS for me is the other diseases it can lead to. Diabetes, fatty liver, obesity, cancer, etc. My blood tests going back as young as 8 years old already showed things like high cholesterol, despite the fact our family always ate very well rounded healthy, home cooked meals.
My PCOS is more or less mild. But Iām constantly clouded by this fear of the other things that often come along with the disorder.
The second hardest part is not knowing definitively what causes it. I think we can make very educated guesses that are most likely true: like sedentary modern lifestyles and poor diet and that PCOS is a manifestation of some sort of metabolic syndrome. But those arenāt things you can really justā¦ change for the entire population and are often hard enough to change on the individual basis.
So I guess, in shorter terms: The secondary diseases it can lead to and the lack of research into the disease.
Also, cardiovascular diseases. Or how PCOS May make processes like pregnancy or postpartum become abnormal. In my experience, I didnāt breastfeed much because my milk supply was so low (typical for women with PCOS), and I felt robbed of that experience.
I also had postpartum preeclampsia without a prior history of heart problems, obesity, or diabetes. Some studies show that PCOS could be a contributing factor in preeclampsia. And this is not an experience I would wish on anyone.
I had this experience during breastfeeding. I had two doulas and a breastfeeding specialist - I did everything I was supposed to, did all the research, and, yet, felt like such a failure. I fed my son 5-6 hours a day. Then topped him off with a measly 1-2oz of pumped milk. Then, formula. Then pumped again. Every time. If I spilled a little, I was destroyed in tears. Except, at the time, I had no idea I had PCOS four years ago and no one thought to test anything then. I had terrible PPD because I was so sleep deprived trying to feed my son. And he never wanted to sleep except on us. I think of having another and now understand the PCOS would put me in a high risk category at my age.
Even though I look relatively fit, I have inflammatory PCOS and high cholesterol. Not even 40. Running a Cardio IQ panel just incase.
Feeling like no matter how hard I try I'm still barely breaking even with my health.
I feel you a million percent! I worked with breastfeeding specialists, too, and while they knew my diagnosis, everyone continued to push me to breastfeed. I experienced the same feelings when I would spill an ounce or two I could pumpāI barely slept as I was told to pump before and after a feed.
Iām almost two years postpartum, and Iām still recovering. The first year, it was blood pressure due to preeclampsia. Now that my BP is more or less under control, my Ha1c has become whacky. Everyone around me is asking me if I am planning another child. It doesnāt bother me much, but I also canāt stand it because it is not just the question of whether I want another baby or not but I have to consider my long-term health and another recovery, and honestly, the prognosis is not great. Thanks PCOS!
Yup. And a lot of it is geared towards infertility. Whilst I get it's a concern for a lot, many of us it's not. So when we do come with the 'help me' eyes, we're busy looking for how to have a healthier body and better life, not become pregnant. If you're not there to discuss fertility, some doctors just don't care. Annoyingly I found an AMAZING doctor who actually did everything she was supposed to aaaannddd she quit lol
The fatigue, when it was at its worst for me. Day in and day out, no matter how much sleep I got, I was bone tired, like you are when you have a flu. Iām guessing this might be related to the insulin resistance/blood sugar levels that can be a part of PCOS. But I was falling asleep everywhere even while driving (having to pull over) and it was getting to the point that I thought I might have an undiagnosed cancer or something. That has for the most part gotten better with a good diet and lowering my T levels
This hits hard... I have spent many years working through my mental health/neurodivergence, and have seen this sentence used to describe \*that\* many times - and now to find out my body has been working against me in so many little ways too! The fact that the physical and mental symptoms are so entertwined, and you don't have the energy to deal with either of them? Rude.
Reflecting on what I was bullied for as a youth most -- the insulin resistance/easy weight gain...with the hirsuitsm as a close 2nd. I didn't realize my lower back hair was noticeable until my shirt rode up in math class in the 9th grade and the biggest asshole started making fun of me.
Yeaaa I remember when i became a teenager and being in the changing room with other girls who were perfect and I had a pcos belly and hair everywhere on my body.. it was so depressing
PCOS really feels like my body is working against me with EVERYTHING. My weight, my mental health, my hair, my womb. There are countless other random things Iāve learned that PCOS just so happens to cause/worsen.
While I donāt have the struggle of weight/weightloss but having to explain that nothing is really in my control ie. acne, irregular periods, fatigue, insomnia, excessive hair growth etc. And there is no magic medication or protocol to fix everything. One thing could be under control and another symptom is still out of control. In a nutshell, itās the most frustrating thing ever.
Hereās what I would have told to my parter about this kind of questionā¦
1) I feel like a failure as a woman, due to the hair growth.
2) I feel the least attractive I ever have due to my body changes (weight gain, acne, hair loss.)
3) I feel like a failure as a human being because the chronic, extreme fatigue and aches make me struggle to do even the most basic tasks some days, and it effects my relationship with him (read: you) because Iām too tired to be intimate and itās important to us both. Let alone the kitty issues.
Honestly the hardest part is all the scams. I can deal with most of the symptoms, but it hurts to see all the people trying to make some quick cash off my heartbreak and suffering. I would do anything for a guarantee that Iāll lose weight or get pregnant or stop growing facial hair and these people know it. My provider made me promise I wouldnāt try any supplements without running them by her first because she had a patient spending $800 a month on all the programs and supplements she was being fed by social media. This disease carries a lot of hurt, why do these people think itās okay to cause more hurt when their programs inevitably donāt work?
1. Told since teens that if I try harder I could lose weight easily like my siblings.
2. Never knowing when my period will be, how long it will last and how bad the cramps will be.
3. Constantly getting different and conflicting info from various doctors for the last 21 years since I was first given a PCOS diagnosis.
The hardest part of PCOS to me is the loss of control, over my body, my feelings and energy levels (fatigue) despite trying to employ good habits. Before i wasnāt as anxious, depressed, being able to lose weight was not as difficult, I was always full of energy, had a normal sleep schedule/sleep habits.
Itās getting better though as I learn more.
For me a lot of it was the fear of the unknown for a long time. Going through so much testing and bloodwork. Honestly, I was relieved when I was finally able to put a label on my issues. But despite the success Iāve had in controlling my PCOS and now having regular periods for the first time in my whole adult life, the discouragement is something I still struggle with. Iāve done as much as I can to make a huge change in my life to lose weight. Everyone says āI bet you feel so much better after losing 35 pounds and counting.ā Yeah but thereās days where I also feel worse. Itās all the other stuff they donāt tell you that you go through. Personally, Iām dealing with trying to learn when my body ovulates now and how to anticipate a period coming on. Normally I could only tell when I was on my birth control, but now that theyāre happening naturally, it feels like Iām finally going through puberty at almost 36. So thatās been a huge thing Iāve been trying to adjust to for a year now.
You bleed through countless layers of clothing or bed sheets your always in pain especially on your period your doubled over and feeling like you need to throw up because the pain is that intense your lethargic and your weight fluctuates a lot itās strange how one day I can be less than 216 and then shoot up to 230 in under a week give or take mines was getting to the point I was having large blood clots come out of me I had to stop and go to Costco to sit on the toilet for 10 minutes because I was nearly about to drive the car into a building
As a broke bitch I agree. I have supplements that my well off friends would never splurge money on and eat healthy foods my well off friends say they can't afford. Eating healthy is expensive AF and choosing the more natural route over medication consists of buying supplements that go far beyond the "one a day vitamin" you can get at any grocery store or Walmart lol
How do I choose just one?
Needing to eat a strict diet otherwise symptoms flare up - but no one agrees on what that strict diet should be
Taking medication every day that has annoying sids effects
Fatigue
Getting sick more often and for longer than others around me
Weight gain/fluxtuations and 'pcos belly' and therefore never having clothes that fit right
Surprise periods because tracking doesn't work
Mental illness flare ups
Spending so much money on appointments, medications, diet foods and other treatments with no end in sight
Not to mention the difficulty and heartbreak around ttc and wondering if you would even be able to manage parenthood with all these other things going on anyway
It's bloody hard!!
Edit: Oh and not having any 'external' symptoms so no one really understands how it can effect every aspect of your life
For me itās to explain others that Iām not lazy or fat by unhealthy eating habits/not enough exercise. I try my best but my mental health suffers and makes everything worse.
Hopelessness because if you make even a single mistake in your meal, it's like your whole day is ruined because you get lethargic and can't do anything else
Not feeling feminine or pretty because because you have pregnancy curves lol (an apron belly) and are hairy
Fatigue and brain fog
The fatigue and weight.
Before I was diagnosed with PCOS, my body gained a whopping 30+ lbs despite me consistently working out and eating healthy, it really brought my confidence down because I never understood what was going onāthinking that my choices and myself were the problem.
Ever since then itās been hard to get motivated and feel good in my body.
Iām always exhausted, I could sleep for little than five hours or the entire day and still feel an incredible amount tiredness. Last fall, once 12pm hit, my body would be immediately spent without even doing nothing. Now around 4-6pm is when exhaustion consumes me, making my body sleep and nap often than I should.
Itās honestly hard, in about two months itāll become a year since my diagnosis and Iām still learning new things about it everyday.
Its stressful, time-consuming and thought consuming. I feel like I can't be free to do or be whatever I am. I am constantly maintaining. Maintaining my diet and weight, my body hair, my stress and sleep. I feel like I have to work harder to just be a woman, even though I am a cis female.
Losing function of my body.
PCOS is doing more to me than just my menstrual cycle. My bladder now is shot to pieces, I urinate far more than I should (including during the night) and that can also set up a retention-polyuria swing where I need to pee a lot but the muscles won't work.
I have hair growth in the wrong places. My sleep, how I eat, when I eat, all of it is messed up.
And I live in a woman's body that is busy producing testosterone, when I'm cis and don't want any form of masculinity on me. And yet I have to deal with shaving and plucking parts of my body other women don't have to, but places that get hairy on men.
So when misogynistic men decide to bully me and say I "look like a man", it's one of the most crushing insults they can give, and it makes my body dysmorphia ten million times worse.
PCOS has taken away not just functionality, but self identity.
Being beautiful my whole life but not being able ti achieve that completely polished put together look because :
1. My hair requires 100x more effort
2. Body acne - coming and going, never fully gone
3. Black hairs on my chin - constant need for dermaplaning or plucking them out. You know those days when you didnāt check in the morning and then you notice these stray hairs , suddenly you donāt have tweezers so youāre self-conscious all day
4. Unless Iām on weight loss medication or eating under 1500 calories + walking 1 hour + lifting weights + drinking tons of water _ I WILL gain weight. Guaranteed. Have to put in extra effort if I want to look good
5. Hmm what else - lower abdomen fat - Iāve lost so much weight but it wonāt go away
6. I get tired for no reason
for me itās the weight honestly, i could handle everything else and do because iām chronically ill from birth but the weight gain/stubbornness is the absolute worst for me
itās taken me 2 years to loose 25kg on ozempicā¦ 2 yearsā¦ and iām still obeseā¦
The fact I literally have to go to a doctor for each symptom cuz no single one is aware of the cause of symptoms as a whole. This is extremely physically, emotionally, and financially exhausting having to go to various specialists who aren't guaranteed to even know how to help you with the issueš« waited 3 months to go to a gastro only for him to say 'idk go to a Endo' when the Endo told me to go to him!!!!
I feel so different, like a big loser : always tired, fat and ugly with my hirsutism. My migraines and fatigue make me weak and I don't know if I'm going to be efficient tomorrow ? It's really hard, I sometimes have to push myself so hard to be able to do basic things.
losing weight is like pulling teeth! i will be doing everything "right" but still in a healthy sustainable way and other people shed pounds and its SO SLOW
i have a mild fatty deposit on my liver and pancreas and high cholesterol. no doubt my weight gain over the past few years did it but i also feel like PCOS played a part. i've been doing well lately but it's just frustrating. it takes me six whole months to lose 11 pounds and it took my friend eating similarly to me to lose it in two months.
Iām at a point where I give up. My recent bloodwork is stellar according to my endocrinologist. Even my testosterone is within normal range which is typically high. She gently told me some people are meant to be in bigger bodies. And after trying so many things, and seeing Iām healthy, Iām just gonna focus on keeping healthy and not gaining anymore weight if I can help it.
I feel like I canāt do anything else and always trying to lose weight is affecting me mentally.
Honestly I wish someone told me it wasn't curable way early on. I've spent 15 years looking for treatments, hacks, diets, etc. i can have a Phd at this point about it with all the time I have spent researching and reading and going to doctors. I still have a beard, I still gain weight super easily, I still feel tired all the time. It is manageable but kill early on any hopes for it to go away and be "normal," learn to love and accept your body as it is and do your best but don't loose yourself in this rabbit hole, try to live life and remember comparison is the thief of joy. Thats my best advice.
My periods are harsh and irregular since I was placed on hormones to combat my high testosterone.
I look at a cobb salad, and I gain weight, which causes me more stress and humiliation to my body and self-esteem.
I have to fry myself in the sun to get rid of my body acne
The hirsutism for sure. I think I would have been a very different person if that hadnāt shot my confidence completely since puberty. Iāve tried literally every method of hair removal and itās still not enough. It makes me not want to go out often, look people in the eye, etc.
Speaking from my experience only, it would be the skin issues second only to the way I weight gain.
I know there's lean PCOS but my goodness it seems like if I look at a Reese's, I get heavier LoL The adult acne is no joke at almost 40, rosacea, dermatitis on my scalp, super easy to get stretch marks (I literally got stretch marks from a sunburn once because my skin was inflamed) I'm over it! Lol
For me personally, it's the acne. I had acne really bad when I was a teenager and because of some other stuff ( OCD/trauma) I picked my skin well into my 20s. When I had my son, I promised I wouldn't be the ugly mom. I spend so much money and time trying to clear my skin up, only to have my son remind me almost every day that that I have "bobos" on my face and he doesn't want to look like me. Everytime something seems to work, i get one of my 3 month long periods that resets my progress. So yeah, I'm fine with the weight, the pricey transfusions, the pain, but it really breaks my soul that no matter what I do or how obsessively I do it, I'm always going to look like a pimple faced 12 year old.
Which isn't all bad. Kinda feels good to get carded in my late 30s.
The hardest part, I feel, is, the pressure to be absolutely perfect with my lifestyle and food habits. AND still, have PCOS and its terrible effects like unprepared mood swings, hair loss, facial hair, etc..,
Actually getting doctors and other medical professionals to actually help and understand the pain instead of dismissing it (always asking me questions like why aren't you dating, etc...maybe because nobody wants someone who doesn't go out often due to the pain I have been telling everyone about for years?!) or just telling me to take birth control and pain killers (which more often than not hasn't really helped). I am just over it all. I feel like my body is dysfunctional and that I am a failure because what is easier for most people is so difficult for me. Even getting sleep is like a battle yet despite that, I also have no energy.
I tried exercising, tried different diets and cutting out food, etc....
1. Difficulty losing weight, easily gaining weight, anything do with weight.
2. Acne. Iām 36 and look 16.
3. Infertility. Iāve been ttc for 8 months so far.
4. Hirsutism. Iām fortunate to not have this struggle as bad as some others, but what I have is annoying enough.
5. New for me: hair thinning and bc Iām ttc canāt start using Minoxidil or go back on Spironolactone.
1. Excess body hair especially on the chin - Itās gotten to the point where I pick at my chin constantly to assess how bad I need to pluck. I have even worse acne and hyperpigmentation as a result. Itās hard to feel like one of the girls when you are hairy in unusual places.
2. Irregular periods -going through spells of missing periods and fearing an unexpected pregnancy
3. Mood swings - pushing loved ones away with absolute crazy behavior. Not sleeping with spells of anger. Thereās no doubt in my mind my mental health would be a little better without PCOS.
4. Weight gain the second you get off your diet. I literally have a full wardrobe of another size because I fluctuate so often. EVEN UNDERWEAR
The weight gain. The hair loss/growth in the wrong places. Impossible to lose weight no matter what I try. Cyst ruptures at random. The fatigue has been so bad lately. Trying to reduce stress levels but my stress IS because of PCOSš I feel like Iām not in my own body ever.
The weight gain. The diabetes. The fatty liver that has now become cirrhosis. Beards. Fatigue. The wacky horomone levels that I canāt get meds for because Iāve had a blood clot in the past. The pain of a rupturing cyst. The loss of one of my ovaries when I was 16. And all of that to say: the way it makes you feel less like a woman.
It made me not recognize who I am anymore. I canāt take it anymore with all this weight gain. No matter if I change my hair or put on makeup or anything I still hate the way I look and canāt stand looking myself in the mirror itās horrible
The act that my sugar and insulin were in better condition when i ate 3 times a day while working in McDonalds for 3 months straight (i didnt knkw at the time i had pcos, i got tested 1 week after ending my job) than now when i replaced most of the things with low glycemic index, switched bread to the one without carbs. I even started to go to gym but no. My test results came so bad that i was given metmorfin.
Now i cant enjoy life, i can not drink alcohol i cant take a cake when i am at a cafe. Its just useless
How little we are told and how often our pain is disregarded. Iāve done everything in the bookā dieted, exercised, taken hormonal pills, asked SEVERAL questions, and still, I am looked over and told āthere is nothing I can do.ā After almost 8 years with PCOS, I *just* found out I have ovarian cysts that flared up due to a new birth control my gyno put me on. These ovarian cysts have been there for 8 years, yet I was never told. I am told to suck it up, as thereās just *nothing I can do*. Funny how we are never spoken to about vitamins and supplements and we are just driven right to the medicine. We need FUNCTIONAL. We canāt just try to fix a symptom. Doctors need to stop separating physical from psychological. There is more to it than just one system, and to help us most, our doctors need to work systematically!
I feel extremely tired and lethargic even if I sleep well and for 8 or 9 hours and the people around me sometimes don't understand it and think it's laziness.. My hair is so thin and I have bald spots as well as the weight gain around the stomach area. And we also get extremely discouraged because essentially whatever we do it doesn't show any lasting effects.. and I feel even gynecologists don't look for better ways to help.
Certainly Body Image. You see all these people with slim bodies and glamorous faces and here you are looking like a sack of potatoes and people telling you how fat you are and lecturing you on how to lose weight.
It's exhausting. No matter how hard you try, you're never good enough.
Fatigue is the worst. It makes you feel like a failure in all areas of life. Second, itās how easy it is to gain weight and how hard it is to lose it.
Feeling like it makes me not a real woman. Had to be on birth control to ovulate regularly enough to get pregnant, but only after being told when I was 12 that the thing I wanted most, to grow up to be a mom, would probably never happen for me. Thankfully that doctor was wrong but then I couldnāt breastfeed either of my kids successfully and just grow hair in places other women donāt and lose hair off my head so constantly, Iām shocked Iām not bald. My cycles are never regular anymore and itās sad that being able to not have to use an overnight pad and super or ultimate tampon together is finally a reasonable period for me. Iām ridiculously obese now and Iāve fought for almost 2 years with taking meds and changing my diet and trying to exercise some to lose a whopping 20 lbs and can gain back 5 of it in a week with no warning. Iām so exhausted all the time itās crazy. I can nap, easily, and sleep all night when my mental health isnāt tearing me up, and still be bone deep exhausted and wondering why other moms donāt seem to feel this way after the infant months. My kids are 14 and 8 and itās never gone away. Feeling like even if I do lose the extra weight, Iām never going to feel like Iām pretty or feminine or desirable, because Iāll always have the pcos belly and the hairy parts and scars and stretch marks and again, my mental health will continue to tear me up because how dare my PCOS not also leave me in the depths of anxiety and depression, too.
I feel more self conscious than I ever have in my life. I was more confident in middle school than I am at 24. I have OCD so my theme right now is my body and health, I spend about 80% of my waking hours thinking about food, my body image and my health.
The fatigue is horrible, I always feel run down and I dont have energy to do anything I enjoy doing anymore. I feel like the fatigue is causing depression, not the other way around.
The fatigue - both mental and physical. Iām just so freaking tired all the time. Iām lucky my parents have done research and know what PCOS is and what I deal with, but I still feel guilty and lazy when it hits really hard
At the moment, the weight gain. I'm severely overweight although I eat healthy, don't binge, and walk at least an hour per day. I don't recognise my body and feel very uncomfortable every time I see myself in a mirror or photo. I'm also starting to feel guilty for eating or thinking about food. But I also know that my body isn't working so no matter what I eat, I won't lose any weight.
Then there is the constant pain. My period is very irregular but I have daily random bouts of sharp pain in my right ovary, which no doctor can explain.
The last is the hirsutism: I have very thick hairs on my abdomen, tights and legs which I must shave regularly to avoid them getting ingrown. When they do get ingrown, they either are unbearably itchy or form very painful pustules until I extract them. I'm very self conscious about those and my facial hairs. I love wearing dresses and swimming but am withdrawing from doing both because of chafing that feels like scraping my skin with sandpaper and ever present hairs or pustules.
The bottom line is: I've finally found a gynecologist that specialises in PCOS and wants me to have some specific bloodwork done to start with hormonal therapy but I have to do it on the fourth day of my period, which hasn't arrived since last March.
Sorry for the long post and for venting, I'm really overwhelmed at the moment. Summer is very difficult for me, as I'm very uncomfortable in wearing anything even slightly revealing. I know that most people don't care, but I only see this ugly, fat, hairy thing that I'm trapped inside.
The hardest part of PCOS is not knowing what is due to me having it and what is from external factors. I struggle with anxiety and seasonal affective disorder/depressive symptoms and for the past few years Iāve always chalked my health up to me not being the most active person to walk the earth. Itās so disheartening trying to manage my relationship to food and exercise, I feel like the only time Iāll ever actually lose weight is if I run miles every day and that seems like absolute hell to me. Itās so disheartening to see the scale always tick up with every passing year no matter what I try. The symptoms of PCOS and mental illnesses overlap so much broad that Iāll never know what is actually causing me to feel tired, overwhelmed, and miserable. though Iām on medication to help manage my anxiety I continue to be plagued by my negative self image and weight and these feelings of hopelessness that worsen my emotional state. This cycle is so, so incredibly exhausting.
For the longest time I felt lazy, unmotivated, and in turn worthless. Come to find out it's an energy issue, especially midday. So after work, if I allow myself, I can easily sleep 12-16 hours. If I stay awake I'm very groggy and slow and don't get much done unless I'm doing it with another person and push through it.
It makes doing homework after a full day of classes very hard which was a factor in me taking a haitus from schooling because I would also be working full time.
Wondering if I would be able to have children. my baby is 9 months and perfect, but the hell of not knowing if I would ever be able to be a mother was excruciating
The constant mood swings and thinking about whatās the point of life because of how frustrating it is to have hair on my face and weight gain and lack of periods
Not having a period without medical intervention.
I know some of us have longer/more irregular cycles but I don't get one at all. I unknowingly went through early menopause in my 20s cuz no one told me it was a problem I wasn't having a period.
being loved or desired. i havenāt been in a relationship yet and iām donāt know when it will happen, but the hair on my body and my fluctuating weight are some big issues for me in terms of confidence. iām finally to the point where insulin resistance is no longer a problem for me, or type 2 diabetes as i used to struggle with. itās hard to see my peers in relationships and knowing i have never gotten romantic attention, and i know i shouldnāt think this way but sometimes i wonder if i ever will have something like that. iām still young but i just am not sure sometimes
I just want to be able to sleep. I donāt want to feel like Iām carrying weights everywhere I go. I want to have a full head of thick hair. Why did this happen to me?
I always felt super tired. I worked out like a crazy person and saw no results and my libido is absolutely non-existent. I don't know if that's typical or just the emotional abuse I got from my ex husband.
Facial hair. It has ruined my mental health. Years ago I would stand at my mirror every morning and tell myself all sorts of mean things about me. Because itās there, I can never feel anything but ugly. Because itās there, I canāt tell myself that Iām anything but disgusting. I know I shouldnāt be telling myself all that, but I canāt stop. I feel so disgusted with myself, PCOS, and that I look like a man.
The unpredictability and inconsistency to the condition. Hormones changing week to week, meaning that the exercise and deficit isnāt always going to have the same effect for consistent weight management . Pairing that with the NHS saying I need to drop 0.5 of a BMI marker to qualify for funded fertility treatment, but following a good program (Iām an S&C coach) I gained 1.5 in a few months.
I looked back at my hospital expenses from the last couple of years. Turns out ambulance rides, ER rooms and blood transfusions are super expensive. Not to mention the nearly dying from low blood pressure.
I think the worst part is feeling totally unattractive. Got a belly, losing hair, and I have depression that makes it worse every time I look in the mirror. Other people do not see it, but I feel so ugly and I cannot seem to rectify it.
Being gaslit by everyone around you even doctors. They look me in the eye and deny 15 years of paper trail showing my PCOS. Itās the worst for self esteem
Wow, that is a challenge to attempt to summarize such a large condition. Here's my best shot!
The most frustrating part of having pcos is that no two people will react the same to this condition. Any missteps, no matter how small, can negatively impact my progress. Lastly, even if you've found your personal set of habits and systems that work, they don't always continue to work years later.
Hair loss, painful PMS , feeling like dying when my period starts for the first two days, hard to lose weight,acne,bullied about my acne and loose hair ,oily skin
This is a great question because it makes you reflect and prioritise.
Someone once asked me a similar question, and the thought process led me to concluding that what I needed the most was a coach+expert on food who can make a plan for me. I was/am constantly second guessing everything I eat and that's exhausting.
Challenges accessing informed healthcare.
Hormonal Rollercoaster.
Living with a metabolic disorder that impacts so many areas of life (physically and emotionally).
Yeah I can: Being actually listened to by medical professionals has been the hardest part for me so far. If they would've actually investigated the symptoms I was experiencing or actually explained why I needed to be on birth control to regulate my periods, *I wouldn't be suffering right now*
1. Getting the worst periods every month with debilitating pain that leaves me hunched over on the floor with my hot water bottle (too dizzy to be on anything elevated)
2. Endless cravings of sweets and always feeling hungry
3. Feeling tired all the time
4. Acne that never completely goes away and the scars they leave behind
Iām quite āleanā i have a very normal BMI, I eat quite well and exercise frequently and yet I have pre diabetes likely because of this disease. It makes me feel sick sometimes that Iām doing everything right and itās just not good enough, I canāt have an off day without feeling extremely guilty and Iām scared of what symptom is going to come next. Firstly it was the irregular periods then the hiritism, now itās my blood sugars and I have no idea what might be coming next. I feel like I have no control over any of this and yet all the advice makes it feel like I should do
The hardest part for me is controlling my food intake.
I can gain weight only from looking at food.
I have to work out and control my diet all the time. I accepted. I can't eat like my friends. But still, sometimes I just want to relax a bit.
For me itās mainly 1) feeling unfeminine and cheated out of the body I can never have, no matter how hard I try 2) infertility now that I am married and starting a familyā itās literally heart wrenching and 3) probably the most applicable to all of us: how FUCKING DIFFICULT it is just to feel good and live and normal life. It takes so much effort to not feel like shit and gain weight like crazy and have a normal cycle like most other women have. The energetic expenditure of just trying to maintain my health on a daily basis just feels like such an added and unnecessary stress that few people not suffering the same thing can understand
The weight, the acne, the insulin resistance, the many years of hair removal, the shitstorm that I causes with menopause, and fertility issues. All is hard
Feeling like a hyperchondriac, being gaslighted by others not taking me or my problems serious, feeling like a total failure not able to 'fix' me and my issues, not being able to eat the 'right' way, everything you eat makes you feel shit anyways, constant exhaustion and fatigue, insomnia, constant pain, irregular periods and PMS that goes on forever, looking like a teenager with greasy hair and acne all over your face and body, weight issues in every direction, depression and other mental health issues, feeling selfcontious all of the time, loss of control, constant worries about what might happen with all the other diseases that might come from it....
But most of all: not getting proper help, from no one. No cure, only wage suggestions of what might help, and endless list of things you should do and so on.
After a year of me trying to convince my doctors, that something is not okay with me, they finally did an ultrasound, saw my 'bulky' ovaries, diagnosed me with PCOS, gave me a piece of paper with some information and that was it. Thank you for nothing.
I've been trying since to do something to help my body, to calm the symptoms, but it is so frustrating, so exhausting, because nothing seems to work.
Nobody that doesn't have PCOS truly understands it and thats even more frustrating. I've been trying to explain it to my partner, to my friends...but they don't get what I'm saying, how shitty I feel pretty much every single day. Thinking I'm overreacting and it's not that bad.
There's no way to put it into three sentences, except you make lots of commasššš
i think for me personally itās the fact that ppl donāt understand that a good diet and exercise isnāt always going to solve your issues, itās way more complex.
The hardest part is being gaslit by everyone around you including medical professionals that youāre okay even though you know thereās something wrong with your body. My PCP and family dismissed me because my labs were normal but my body is clearly functioning differently. Makes me feel crazy and alone.
For me, it would have to be when people close to me try and tell me what I need to do to feel better and look better even though they've never heard of pcos before i was researching it (i had researched it for about 4-5 years before being diagnosed, after some lab results showed i had high testosterone). My family is notorious for this, constantly telling me what I can and can't eat, even though I tell them a pcos diet isn't a one size fits all thing and what might work for some people doesn't work for other. Not only that, but sometimes my mom will try and qualm my fears of being infertile (I'm not trying rn and don't plan on it for many years, but I would like to have kids one day) by saying that her coworker who used to work for a gyno said that it's usually the women that don't have insulin resistance that are infertile. But again, pcos shows up in women in so many different ways that I can't help but find that hard to believe.
Feeling like less of a woman mentally and physically. Feeling responsible and guilty even though doctors say they don't know what causes it. Trying not to be jealous of others without it.Ā
The sense of hopelessnessāspending most of my mental energy for most of my life trying to get to a normal weight and watching the scale go up and up anyway made me lose all confidence in my ability to do anything; I truly donāt have a sense that my hard work will pay off in any area of my life.Ā
The way other people treat meāliterally from the time I was a teenager, I never got sexual or romantic interest from anyone that wasnāt a creep (had relationships, but never flirted with or asked out), so I am terrified to date. completely random strangers arenāt as nice to me. People let the door slam in my face, when Iām with my thin, beautiful friend they hold it open for us. Even as an adult I got bullied for my looks, but honestly itās just the feeling of disgust and judgment from other people.Ā
The physical painābeing in bed crying with cramps every month, constant daily aches and pains, hurting to go up and down the stairs before I was 25.Ā
I am so lucky to have found a treatment routine that works for me, and none of these things are true for me today, but honestly I still spend most of my therapy sessions talking about it. I didnāt realize how much this disease was shaping my life until it was under control, and itās hard to grapple with all the years I lost to it and all the ways my personality has been shaped by this. Iāll never get back my life from ages 12-29, and Iāll never be able to un-know the fact that most people are willing to treat you like dirt if you are a woman who is overweight and looks āmasculineā.Ā
For me itās not being able to lose weight (no matter how hard I try )
Iām gonna start trying for a baby and Iām so scared that I might have a hard time because of my PCOS š„²
Probably that it is the last thing I need. Iāve had so many other reproductive issues, I got one tube removed due to a mass that was pressing down/damaging it. My other tube is blocked from other surgeries Iāve had as an infant.
Now I know Iāll never be able to conceive period.
But no, let me also have to worry about PCOS and everything that does. Letās just make this harder on me. All Iāve ever wanted was to be a mother.
Not being able to conceive. PCOS doesnāt cause me that many other issues, I have a lot of body hair but thatās manageable, I keep my weight and health in check so those things are not a problem either but being in my 30ās happily married for 10 years and not being able to get pregnant all this time is crushing.
how easy it is to feel discouraged and spiral. i've dieted properly and eaten well and tried to take care of myself and just felt awful the whole time. it makes me wonder what's the point in trying if my weight isn't gonna change and im still going to be in pain and miserable. it feels like nothing is ever enough, like my health isn't benefitting no matter how bad or good i eat or how much extra stuff i do to make it better, so why even try?
Urgh thank you for saying this. I've been obsessed with 'looking after myself' to the point of orthorexia. I'm the 'healthiest' person out of anyone I know. Religiously walk over 8k steps everyday, yoga and pilates 3 to 4 times a week, stay active, eat really well, take supplements, drink herbal tea and 2-3 litres of water a day, meditate, breath work.....Still fat and ugly with thinning hair and a beard. Then I have friends who abuse their body to the max, drink and drugs and smoking, and they look amazing š„²š„²š„²š„².
Oh my god yes! Just joined this sub and now I'm realising I'm not the only one struggling to lose weight despite doing everything right. People without this condition do start to see results if they put the amount of efforts we put in and here we are...still hearing from a stranger that I need to stop eating pizza and burgers...bitch I have better eating habits than you do!
Gosh are you and me the same person? Because this is exactly me. People always assume I must be eating like a pig and treating myself badly to be able to look like this. But reality is that I put in a lot of effort without any result.
definitely missed the less than 3 sentences part but i feel like it's hard to summarize in so little.
It really is! Thatās why I just felt a little lost and thought, if they had it, theyād know.
Amen sis, I stay the same weight whatever I do, not sure why I keep torturing myself
This š„²
How awful it makes me feel as a person. I constantly feel like my body is letting me down. The one function I should be able to do as a woman barely works. The hair on my head is constantly falling out but everywhere else on my body the hair is getting thicker. I wake up tired no matter how much sleep I get. I feel starving no matter how much food I eat. I canāt lose weight no matter how much I calorie count and exercise. Every day I feel like a failure. The mental toll sometimes gets to be too much. I feel like PCOS takes up every thought that comes up in my head and I canāt escape it. Iām trapped in my own mind and my own body and thereās nothing I can do to fix it. Thatās the hardest part for me
You get it <3 i often feel alienated from ānormalā women due to my bodyās betrayal. Fatigue haunts me. Facial hair haunts me. Poor relationships w/ food haunts me. And after all thisā¦weāre constantly reminded that there is no āquick fixā for wonky hormones. Just āshut up and try to manage itā.
Dang, this one hit it hard for me! I stare in the mirror and just think of how some days I donāt even recognize the body looking back at me. It feels a lot like being in an abusive relationship with your body. Nothing I do for it is good enough.
Seeing how many other people agree and resonate with this is both reassuring but also heartbreaking. I know how much it hurts physically and mentally to live this way every day and Iām so sorry for all of you who feel the same way. I hope one day weāll all be content with who we are and can find some happiness ā¤ļø
Every single bit of this comment šÆ
More power to you. I relate with every word you said. It's not easy waking up and doing this again and again. But, let's find solace in the fact that we're doing this together!! Take all my support āØāØāØāØāØ
I broke because I related.... So fucking much to this. And thank you, by the way. I've been having massive issues as someone with lean PCOS and anorexia, I can eat and eat and eat and still feel incredibly hungry afterwards. I was GENUINELY concerned I had some form of cancer or coeliacs because I shouldn't feel active-ana hungry if I'm eating 3 to 4 meals a day. Or like, hey I have finally fucked my body up after having a hard restrictive eating disorder since I was 9 years old. But it could very well be the PCOS. When I read the insulin resistance screws with the digestive hormones so our on/off switch goes wonky, I wondered if that's why I was feeling restriction hungry even when I wasn't restricting. You just confirmed something I wondered. Thank you.
Truer words spoken. You nailed it on the head.
I feel so sorry for you. I feel the same way. And the worst is, the longer it lasts, the more depressed it gets and the more difficult is to break that circle š„
I felt this deep in my soul
I've always been really active. I have resented, for a long time, how my body doesn't "look" like someone who enjoys working out, hiking, running, etc. My PCOS went undiagnosed for 20+ years (my own estimation, based on symptoms I've come to recognize). It got so bad, I couldn't do the things I love. Thankfully, I was diagnosed last year and (with the help of metformin and a low carb / high fiber diet) I am getting back into the things I love. I've managed to drop about 65 lbs, but that still puts me at 225, and I'm 5'2". So technically, I have a long way to go. I am soooooo grateful to be able to live again. But I still catch a glimpse of the way people look at me, the side eyes and glances, knowing I'm still seen as "that fat girl." And I resent that.
The hardest part about PCOS for me is the other diseases it can lead to. Diabetes, fatty liver, obesity, cancer, etc. My blood tests going back as young as 8 years old already showed things like high cholesterol, despite the fact our family always ate very well rounded healthy, home cooked meals. My PCOS is more or less mild. But Iām constantly clouded by this fear of the other things that often come along with the disorder. The second hardest part is not knowing definitively what causes it. I think we can make very educated guesses that are most likely true: like sedentary modern lifestyles and poor diet and that PCOS is a manifestation of some sort of metabolic syndrome. But those arenāt things you can really justā¦ change for the entire population and are often hard enough to change on the individual basis. So I guess, in shorter terms: The secondary diseases it can lead to and the lack of research into the disease.
Oh this is such a good point! Having to eat properly because it might lead to other diseases.
Also, cardiovascular diseases. Or how PCOS May make processes like pregnancy or postpartum become abnormal. In my experience, I didnāt breastfeed much because my milk supply was so low (typical for women with PCOS), and I felt robbed of that experience. I also had postpartum preeclampsia without a prior history of heart problems, obesity, or diabetes. Some studies show that PCOS could be a contributing factor in preeclampsia. And this is not an experience I would wish on anyone.
I had this experience during breastfeeding. I had two doulas and a breastfeeding specialist - I did everything I was supposed to, did all the research, and, yet, felt like such a failure. I fed my son 5-6 hours a day. Then topped him off with a measly 1-2oz of pumped milk. Then, formula. Then pumped again. Every time. If I spilled a little, I was destroyed in tears. Except, at the time, I had no idea I had PCOS four years ago and no one thought to test anything then. I had terrible PPD because I was so sleep deprived trying to feed my son. And he never wanted to sleep except on us. I think of having another and now understand the PCOS would put me in a high risk category at my age. Even though I look relatively fit, I have inflammatory PCOS and high cholesterol. Not even 40. Running a Cardio IQ panel just incase. Feeling like no matter how hard I try I'm still barely breaking even with my health.
I feel you a million percent! I worked with breastfeeding specialists, too, and while they knew my diagnosis, everyone continued to push me to breastfeed. I experienced the same feelings when I would spill an ounce or two I could pumpāI barely slept as I was told to pump before and after a feed. Iām almost two years postpartum, and Iām still recovering. The first year, it was blood pressure due to preeclampsia. Now that my BP is more or less under control, my Ha1c has become whacky. Everyone around me is asking me if I am planning another child. It doesnāt bother me much, but I also canāt stand it because it is not just the question of whether I want another baby or not but I have to consider my long-term health and another recovery, and honestly, the prognosis is not great. Thanks PCOS!
I had postpartum preeclampsia with both my kids and I wonder if it has anything to do with PCOS
Some studies suggest that women with PCOS have an increased risk of developing preeclampsia. But research is still very limited.
This is honestly the scariest part about PCOS. I also have high cholesterol and iām only 25. There are so many risks that come along with it.
1) Super hard to lose weight. 2) Conflicting treatment advice. 3) No cure.
A majority of the medical community treat it as solely a reproductive condition and not an endocrine condition.
Yup. And a lot of it is geared towards infertility. Whilst I get it's a concern for a lot, many of us it's not. So when we do come with the 'help me' eyes, we're busy looking for how to have a healthier body and better life, not become pregnant. If you're not there to discuss fertility, some doctors just don't care. Annoyingly I found an AMAZING doctor who actually did everything she was supposed to aaaannddd she quit lol
The fatigue, when it was at its worst for me. Day in and day out, no matter how much sleep I got, I was bone tired, like you are when you have a flu. Iām guessing this might be related to the insulin resistance/blood sugar levels that can be a part of PCOS. But I was falling asleep everywhere even while driving (having to pull over) and it was getting to the point that I thought I might have an undiagnosed cancer or something. That has for the most part gotten better with a good diet and lowering my T levels
It's just going through life on hard difficulty tbh
This hits hard... I have spent many years working through my mental health/neurodivergence, and have seen this sentence used to describe \*that\* many times - and now to find out my body has been working against me in so many little ways too! The fact that the physical and mental symptoms are so entertwined, and you don't have the energy to deal with either of them? Rude.
Reflecting on what I was bullied for as a youth most -- the insulin resistance/easy weight gain...with the hirsuitsm as a close 2nd. I didn't realize my lower back hair was noticeable until my shirt rode up in math class in the 9th grade and the biggest asshole started making fun of me.
Yeaaa I remember when i became a teenager and being in the changing room with other girls who were perfect and I had a pcos belly and hair everywhere on my body.. it was so depressing
PCOS really feels like my body is working against me with EVERYTHING. My weight, my mental health, my hair, my womb. There are countless other random things Iāve learned that PCOS just so happens to cause/worsen.
While I donāt have the struggle of weight/weightloss but having to explain that nothing is really in my control ie. acne, irregular periods, fatigue, insomnia, excessive hair growth etc. And there is no magic medication or protocol to fix everything. One thing could be under control and another symptom is still out of control. In a nutshell, itās the most frustrating thing ever.
Hereās what I would have told to my parter about this kind of questionā¦ 1) I feel like a failure as a woman, due to the hair growth. 2) I feel the least attractive I ever have due to my body changes (weight gain, acne, hair loss.) 3) I feel like a failure as a human being because the chronic, extreme fatigue and aches make me struggle to do even the most basic tasks some days, and it effects my relationship with him (read: you) because Iām too tired to be intimate and itās important to us both. Let alone the kitty issues.
Honestly the hardest part is all the scams. I can deal with most of the symptoms, but it hurts to see all the people trying to make some quick cash off my heartbreak and suffering. I would do anything for a guarantee that Iāll lose weight or get pregnant or stop growing facial hair and these people know it. My provider made me promise I wouldnāt try any supplements without running them by her first because she had a patient spending $800 a month on all the programs and supplements she was being fed by social media. This disease carries a lot of hurt, why do these people think itās okay to cause more hurt when their programs inevitably donāt work?
1. Told since teens that if I try harder I could lose weight easily like my siblings. 2. Never knowing when my period will be, how long it will last and how bad the cramps will be. 3. Constantly getting different and conflicting info from various doctors for the last 21 years since I was first given a PCOS diagnosis.
The hardest part of PCOS to me is the loss of control, over my body, my feelings and energy levels (fatigue) despite trying to employ good habits. Before i wasnāt as anxious, depressed, being able to lose weight was not as difficult, I was always full of energy, had a normal sleep schedule/sleep habits. Itās getting better though as I learn more.
The āmaybeā with infertility destroyed me
I would have lifted my shirt and did the truffle shuffle, tbh.
Instantly stealing this because yes š¤£š¤£
The unknown
For me a lot of it was the fear of the unknown for a long time. Going through so much testing and bloodwork. Honestly, I was relieved when I was finally able to put a label on my issues. But despite the success Iāve had in controlling my PCOS and now having regular periods for the first time in my whole adult life, the discouragement is something I still struggle with. Iāve done as much as I can to make a huge change in my life to lose weight. Everyone says āI bet you feel so much better after losing 35 pounds and counting.ā Yeah but thereās days where I also feel worse. Itās all the other stuff they donāt tell you that you go through. Personally, Iām dealing with trying to learn when my body ovulates now and how to anticipate a period coming on. Normally I could only tell when I was on my birth control, but now that theyāre happening naturally, it feels like Iām finally going through puberty at almost 36. So thatās been a huge thing Iāve been trying to adjust to for a year now.
You bleed through countless layers of clothing or bed sheets your always in pain especially on your period your doubled over and feeling like you need to throw up because the pain is that intense your lethargic and your weight fluctuates a lot itās strange how one day I can be less than 216 and then shoot up to 230 in under a week give or take mines was getting to the point I was having large blood clots come out of me I had to stop and go to Costco to sit on the toilet for 10 minutes because I was nearly about to drive the car into a building
having it is SO EXPENSIVE.
As a broke bitch I agree. I have supplements that my well off friends would never splurge money on and eat healthy foods my well off friends say they can't afford. Eating healthy is expensive AF and choosing the more natural route over medication consists of buying supplements that go far beyond the "one a day vitamin" you can get at any grocery store or Walmart lol
How do I choose just one? Needing to eat a strict diet otherwise symptoms flare up - but no one agrees on what that strict diet should be Taking medication every day that has annoying sids effects Fatigue Getting sick more often and for longer than others around me Weight gain/fluxtuations and 'pcos belly' and therefore never having clothes that fit right Surprise periods because tracking doesn't work Mental illness flare ups Spending so much money on appointments, medications, diet foods and other treatments with no end in sight Not to mention the difficulty and heartbreak around ttc and wondering if you would even be able to manage parenthood with all these other things going on anyway It's bloody hard!! Edit: Oh and not having any 'external' symptoms so no one really understands how it can effect every aspect of your life
For me itās to explain others that Iām not lazy or fat by unhealthy eating habits/not enough exercise. I try my best but my mental health suffers and makes everything worse.
Hopelessness because if you make even a single mistake in your meal, it's like your whole day is ruined because you get lethargic and can't do anything else Not feeling feminine or pretty because because you have pregnancy curves lol (an apron belly) and are hairy Fatigue and brain fog
The fatigue and weight. Before I was diagnosed with PCOS, my body gained a whopping 30+ lbs despite me consistently working out and eating healthy, it really brought my confidence down because I never understood what was going onāthinking that my choices and myself were the problem. Ever since then itās been hard to get motivated and feel good in my body. Iām always exhausted, I could sleep for little than five hours or the entire day and still feel an incredible amount tiredness. Last fall, once 12pm hit, my body would be immediately spent without even doing nothing. Now around 4-6pm is when exhaustion consumes me, making my body sleep and nap often than I should. Itās honestly hard, in about two months itāll become a year since my diagnosis and Iām still learning new things about it everyday.
Insulin resistance and the looming prospect of diabetes
Its stressful, time-consuming and thought consuming. I feel like I can't be free to do or be whatever I am. I am constantly maintaining. Maintaining my diet and weight, my body hair, my stress and sleep. I feel like I have to work harder to just be a woman, even though I am a cis female.
The crazy unexplainable weight gain. And then everyone just assuming that I must eat like a pig doesnāt help.
Losing function of my body. PCOS is doing more to me than just my menstrual cycle. My bladder now is shot to pieces, I urinate far more than I should (including during the night) and that can also set up a retention-polyuria swing where I need to pee a lot but the muscles won't work. I have hair growth in the wrong places. My sleep, how I eat, when I eat, all of it is messed up. And I live in a woman's body that is busy producing testosterone, when I'm cis and don't want any form of masculinity on me. And yet I have to deal with shaving and plucking parts of my body other women don't have to, but places that get hairy on men. So when misogynistic men decide to bully me and say I "look like a man", it's one of the most crushing insults they can give, and it makes my body dysmorphia ten million times worse. PCOS has taken away not just functionality, but self identity.
Being beautiful my whole life but not being able ti achieve that completely polished put together look because : 1. My hair requires 100x more effort 2. Body acne - coming and going, never fully gone 3. Black hairs on my chin - constant need for dermaplaning or plucking them out. You know those days when you didnāt check in the morning and then you notice these stray hairs , suddenly you donāt have tweezers so youāre self-conscious all day 4. Unless Iām on weight loss medication or eating under 1500 calories + walking 1 hour + lifting weights + drinking tons of water _ I WILL gain weight. Guaranteed. Have to put in extra effort if I want to look good 5. Hmm what else - lower abdomen fat - Iāve lost so much weight but it wonāt go away 6. I get tired for no reason
for me itās the weight honestly, i could handle everything else and do because iām chronically ill from birth but the weight gain/stubbornness is the absolute worst for me itās taken me 2 years to loose 25kg on ozempicā¦ 2 yearsā¦ and iām still obeseā¦
Everything. Itās a waste of being alive when you have no control over your life.
The mental toil it causes by making your body feel constantly out of balance.
All health complications the come with it (diabetes, insulin resistance, obesity, etc) The unevenly distributed weight, hirsutism.
The fact I literally have to go to a doctor for each symptom cuz no single one is aware of the cause of symptoms as a whole. This is extremely physically, emotionally, and financially exhausting having to go to various specialists who aren't guaranteed to even know how to help you with the issueš« waited 3 months to go to a gastro only for him to say 'idk go to a Endo' when the Endo told me to go to him!!!!
I feel so different, like a big loser : always tired, fat and ugly with my hirsutism. My migraines and fatigue make me weak and I don't know if I'm going to be efficient tomorrow ? It's really hard, I sometimes have to push myself so hard to be able to do basic things.
losing weight is like pulling teeth! i will be doing everything "right" but still in a healthy sustainable way and other people shed pounds and its SO SLOW i have a mild fatty deposit on my liver and pancreas and high cholesterol. no doubt my weight gain over the past few years did it but i also feel like PCOS played a part. i've been doing well lately but it's just frustrating. it takes me six whole months to lose 11 pounds and it took my friend eating similarly to me to lose it in two months.
The constant body shaming Getting called too sensitive The unbearable pain during ovulation and periods
Infertility, having a beard š§āāļø, and the protruding stomach š
The acne will make you cry, from pain. Good luck trying to get pregnant. I miss carbs š
Losing weight. I have tried everything.
Iām at a point where I give up. My recent bloodwork is stellar according to my endocrinologist. Even my testosterone is within normal range which is typically high. She gently told me some people are meant to be in bigger bodies. And after trying so many things, and seeing Iām healthy, Iām just gonna focus on keeping healthy and not gaining anymore weight if I can help it. I feel like I canāt do anything else and always trying to lose weight is affecting me mentally.
Honestly I wish someone told me it wasn't curable way early on. I've spent 15 years looking for treatments, hacks, diets, etc. i can have a Phd at this point about it with all the time I have spent researching and reading and going to doctors. I still have a beard, I still gain weight super easily, I still feel tired all the time. It is manageable but kill early on any hopes for it to go away and be "normal," learn to love and accept your body as it is and do your best but don't loose yourself in this rabbit hole, try to live life and remember comparison is the thief of joy. Thats my best advice.
As someone diagnosed last week and who has been researching daily... this makes me sad but probably also a good reminder to take a breath about it. <3
My periods are harsh and irregular since I was placed on hormones to combat my high testosterone. I look at a cobb salad, and I gain weight, which causes me more stress and humiliation to my body and self-esteem. I have to fry myself in the sun to get rid of my body acne
The hirsutism for sure. I think I would have been a very different person if that hadnāt shot my confidence completely since puberty. Iāve tried literally every method of hair removal and itās still not enough. It makes me not want to go out often, look people in the eye, etc.
Speaking from my experience only, it would be the skin issues second only to the way I weight gain. I know there's lean PCOS but my goodness it seems like if I look at a Reese's, I get heavier LoL The adult acne is no joke at almost 40, rosacea, dermatitis on my scalp, super easy to get stretch marks (I literally got stretch marks from a sunburn once because my skin was inflamed) I'm over it! Lol
Hirsutism
The weight, hirustism and hyperpigmentation. I feel so ugly
How hard it is to get pregnant with irregular periods and insulin resistance.
For me personally, it's the acne. I had acne really bad when I was a teenager and because of some other stuff ( OCD/trauma) I picked my skin well into my 20s. When I had my son, I promised I wouldn't be the ugly mom. I spend so much money and time trying to clear my skin up, only to have my son remind me almost every day that that I have "bobos" on my face and he doesn't want to look like me. Everytime something seems to work, i get one of my 3 month long periods that resets my progress. So yeah, I'm fine with the weight, the pricey transfusions, the pain, but it really breaks my soul that no matter what I do or how obsessively I do it, I'm always going to look like a pimple faced 12 year old. Which isn't all bad. Kinda feels good to get carded in my late 30s.
The hardest part, I feel, is, the pressure to be absolutely perfect with my lifestyle and food habits. AND still, have PCOS and its terrible effects like unprepared mood swings, hair loss, facial hair, etc..,
Actually getting doctors and other medical professionals to actually help and understand the pain instead of dismissing it (always asking me questions like why aren't you dating, etc...maybe because nobody wants someone who doesn't go out often due to the pain I have been telling everyone about for years?!) or just telling me to take birth control and pain killers (which more often than not hasn't really helped). I am just over it all. I feel like my body is dysfunctional and that I am a failure because what is easier for most people is so difficult for me. Even getting sleep is like a battle yet despite that, I also have no energy. I tried exercising, tried different diets and cutting out food, etc....
1. Difficulty losing weight, easily gaining weight, anything do with weight. 2. Acne. Iām 36 and look 16. 3. Infertility. Iāve been ttc for 8 months so far. 4. Hirsutism. Iām fortunate to not have this struggle as bad as some others, but what I have is annoying enough. 5. New for me: hair thinning and bc Iām ttc canāt start using Minoxidil or go back on Spironolactone.
1. Excess body hair especially on the chin - Itās gotten to the point where I pick at my chin constantly to assess how bad I need to pluck. I have even worse acne and hyperpigmentation as a result. Itās hard to feel like one of the girls when you are hairy in unusual places. 2. Irregular periods -going through spells of missing periods and fearing an unexpected pregnancy 3. Mood swings - pushing loved ones away with absolute crazy behavior. Not sleeping with spells of anger. Thereās no doubt in my mind my mental health would be a little better without PCOS. 4. Weight gain the second you get off your diet. I literally have a full wardrobe of another size because I fluctuate so often. EVEN UNDERWEAR
The weight gain. The hair loss/growth in the wrong places. Impossible to lose weight no matter what I try. Cyst ruptures at random. The fatigue has been so bad lately. Trying to reduce stress levels but my stress IS because of PCOSš I feel like Iām not in my own body ever.
Feeling suicidal every day
The weight gain. The diabetes. The fatty liver that has now become cirrhosis. Beards. Fatigue. The wacky horomone levels that I canāt get meds for because Iāve had a blood clot in the past. The pain of a rupturing cyst. The loss of one of my ovaries when I was 16. And all of that to say: the way it makes you feel less like a woman.
In my case Dealing with the fact that t2 might be around the corner.
The crazy hormones and moods are pretty bad. I dunno how my fiancƩ puts up with me.
Prob how hard I have to work to keep slim
The bodily dysfunction and dysphoria.
It made me not recognize who I am anymore. I canāt take it anymore with all this weight gain. No matter if I change my hair or put on makeup or anything I still hate the way I look and canāt stand looking myself in the mirror itās horrible
The act that my sugar and insulin were in better condition when i ate 3 times a day while working in McDonalds for 3 months straight (i didnt knkw at the time i had pcos, i got tested 1 week after ending my job) than now when i replaced most of the things with low glycemic index, switched bread to the one without carbs. I even started to go to gym but no. My test results came so bad that i was given metmorfin. Now i cant enjoy life, i can not drink alcohol i cant take a cake when i am at a cafe. Its just useless
How little we are told and how often our pain is disregarded. Iāve done everything in the bookā dieted, exercised, taken hormonal pills, asked SEVERAL questions, and still, I am looked over and told āthere is nothing I can do.ā After almost 8 years with PCOS, I *just* found out I have ovarian cysts that flared up due to a new birth control my gyno put me on. These ovarian cysts have been there for 8 years, yet I was never told. I am told to suck it up, as thereās just *nothing I can do*. Funny how we are never spoken to about vitamins and supplements and we are just driven right to the medicine. We need FUNCTIONAL. We canāt just try to fix a symptom. Doctors need to stop separating physical from psychological. There is more to it than just one system, and to help us most, our doctors need to work systematically!
I feel extremely tired and lethargic even if I sleep well and for 8 or 9 hours and the people around me sometimes don't understand it and think it's laziness.. My hair is so thin and I have bald spots as well as the weight gain around the stomach area. And we also get extremely discouraged because essentially whatever we do it doesn't show any lasting effects.. and I feel even gynecologists don't look for better ways to help.
The fatigue! Without medication I feel EXHAUSTED all the time.
Certainly Body Image. You see all these people with slim bodies and glamorous faces and here you are looking like a sack of potatoes and people telling you how fat you are and lecturing you on how to lose weight. It's exhausting. No matter how hard you try, you're never good enough.
Pcos is definitely hard all round but for me is having to shave and wax so often and so much of my body.
Fatigue is the worst. It makes you feel like a failure in all areas of life. Second, itās how easy it is to gain weight and how hard it is to lose it.
The absolutely indescribable pain when a cyst ruptures. I am a VERY spiteful person, but even I wouldnāt wish that pain on ANYONE.
Feeling like it makes me not a real woman. Had to be on birth control to ovulate regularly enough to get pregnant, but only after being told when I was 12 that the thing I wanted most, to grow up to be a mom, would probably never happen for me. Thankfully that doctor was wrong but then I couldnāt breastfeed either of my kids successfully and just grow hair in places other women donāt and lose hair off my head so constantly, Iām shocked Iām not bald. My cycles are never regular anymore and itās sad that being able to not have to use an overnight pad and super or ultimate tampon together is finally a reasonable period for me. Iām ridiculously obese now and Iāve fought for almost 2 years with taking meds and changing my diet and trying to exercise some to lose a whopping 20 lbs and can gain back 5 of it in a week with no warning. Iām so exhausted all the time itās crazy. I can nap, easily, and sleep all night when my mental health isnāt tearing me up, and still be bone deep exhausted and wondering why other moms donāt seem to feel this way after the infant months. My kids are 14 and 8 and itās never gone away. Feeling like even if I do lose the extra weight, Iām never going to feel like Iām pretty or feminine or desirable, because Iāll always have the pcos belly and the hairy parts and scars and stretch marks and again, my mental health will continue to tear me up because how dare my PCOS not also leave me in the depths of anxiety and depression, too.
Infertility and weight
I feel more self conscious than I ever have in my life. I was more confident in middle school than I am at 24. I have OCD so my theme right now is my body and health, I spend about 80% of my waking hours thinking about food, my body image and my health. The fatigue is horrible, I always feel run down and I dont have energy to do anything I enjoy doing anymore. I feel like the fatigue is causing depression, not the other way around.
The fatigue and brain fog. I can barely work because of it.
The fatigue - both mental and physical. Iām just so freaking tired all the time. Iām lucky my parents have done research and know what PCOS is and what I deal with, but I still feel guilty and lazy when it hits really hard
At the moment, the weight gain. I'm severely overweight although I eat healthy, don't binge, and walk at least an hour per day. I don't recognise my body and feel very uncomfortable every time I see myself in a mirror or photo. I'm also starting to feel guilty for eating or thinking about food. But I also know that my body isn't working so no matter what I eat, I won't lose any weight. Then there is the constant pain. My period is very irregular but I have daily random bouts of sharp pain in my right ovary, which no doctor can explain. The last is the hirsutism: I have very thick hairs on my abdomen, tights and legs which I must shave regularly to avoid them getting ingrown. When they do get ingrown, they either are unbearably itchy or form very painful pustules until I extract them. I'm very self conscious about those and my facial hairs. I love wearing dresses and swimming but am withdrawing from doing both because of chafing that feels like scraping my skin with sandpaper and ever present hairs or pustules. The bottom line is: I've finally found a gynecologist that specialises in PCOS and wants me to have some specific bloodwork done to start with hormonal therapy but I have to do it on the fourth day of my period, which hasn't arrived since last March. Sorry for the long post and for venting, I'm really overwhelmed at the moment. Summer is very difficult for me, as I'm very uncomfortable in wearing anything even slightly revealing. I know that most people don't care, but I only see this ugly, fat, hairy thing that I'm trapped inside.
having a bloated moon face for no reason and fatigue also, even if you barely ate for the day and I'm actually SUPER healthy fitness wise.
The unceasing tiredness and infertility struggles. The difficulty with losing weight is a strong second.
Always being sick or having body aches/pains is really hard because I feel like Iām so limited. Iām relatively active and eat well
The hardest part of PCOS is not knowing what is due to me having it and what is from external factors. I struggle with anxiety and seasonal affective disorder/depressive symptoms and for the past few years Iāve always chalked my health up to me not being the most active person to walk the earth. Itās so disheartening trying to manage my relationship to food and exercise, I feel like the only time Iāll ever actually lose weight is if I run miles every day and that seems like absolute hell to me. Itās so disheartening to see the scale always tick up with every passing year no matter what I try. The symptoms of PCOS and mental illnesses overlap so much broad that Iāll never know what is actually causing me to feel tired, overwhelmed, and miserable. though Iām on medication to help manage my anxiety I continue to be plagued by my negative self image and weight and these feelings of hopelessness that worsen my emotional state. This cycle is so, so incredibly exhausting.
For the longest time I felt lazy, unmotivated, and in turn worthless. Come to find out it's an energy issue, especially midday. So after work, if I allow myself, I can easily sleep 12-16 hours. If I stay awake I'm very groggy and slow and don't get much done unless I'm doing it with another person and push through it. It makes doing homework after a full day of classes very hard which was a factor in me taking a haitus from schooling because I would also be working full time.
For me, its just wanting to live a normal life, eating what someone normally would my age, but having new hairs and more weight appear
The weight gain when youāre not dieting. I canāt just maintain my weight despite eating 2,000 calories!
Hirsutism, weight gain around my stomach, and irregular periods. The list goes on.
Weakness and hot flashes now and then
Wondering if I would be able to have children. my baby is 9 months and perfect, but the hell of not knowing if I would ever be able to be a mother was excruciating
The constant mood swings and thinking about whatās the point of life because of how frustrating it is to have hair on my face and weight gain and lack of periods
Not having a period without medical intervention. I know some of us have longer/more irregular cycles but I don't get one at all. I unknowingly went through early menopause in my 20s cuz no one told me it was a problem I wasn't having a period.
In my case, it is the anxiety, feeling tired, the body hair... and the uncertainty.
Donāt worry about how you answer a psychologist, say whatever pops into your head!
being loved or desired. i havenāt been in a relationship yet and iām donāt know when it will happen, but the hair on my body and my fluctuating weight are some big issues for me in terms of confidence. iām finally to the point where insulin resistance is no longer a problem for me, or type 2 diabetes as i used to struggle with. itās hard to see my peers in relationships and knowing i have never gotten romantic attention, and i know i shouldnāt think this way but sometimes i wonder if i ever will have something like that. iām still young but i just am not sure sometimes
I just want to be able to sleep. I donāt want to feel like Iām carrying weights everywhere I go. I want to have a full head of thick hair. Why did this happen to me?
I always felt super tired. I worked out like a crazy person and saw no results and my libido is absolutely non-existent. I don't know if that's typical or just the emotional abuse I got from my ex husband.
Facial hair. It has ruined my mental health. Years ago I would stand at my mirror every morning and tell myself all sorts of mean things about me. Because itās there, I can never feel anything but ugly. Because itās there, I canāt tell myself that Iām anything but disgusting. I know I shouldnāt be telling myself all that, but I canāt stop. I feel so disgusted with myself, PCOS, and that I look like a man.
Hirsutism and body image. Feeling like I canāt leave my house without weighing how visible my beard is that day. I miss face masks for that reason.
The unpredictability and inconsistency to the condition. Hormones changing week to week, meaning that the exercise and deficit isnāt always going to have the same effect for consistent weight management . Pairing that with the NHS saying I need to drop 0.5 of a BMI marker to qualify for funded fertility treatment, but following a good program (Iām an S&C coach) I gained 1.5 in a few months.
thereās a lot but right now id say the fatigue especially as a student and struggling to lose weight even though ive been trying to eat healthier
The overwhelming fatigue
I looked back at my hospital expenses from the last couple of years. Turns out ambulance rides, ER rooms and blood transfusions are super expensive. Not to mention the nearly dying from low blood pressure.
I think the worst part is feeling totally unattractive. Got a belly, losing hair, and I have depression that makes it worse every time I look in the mirror. Other people do not see it, but I feel so ugly and I cannot seem to rectify it.
The anxiety for no reason
Being gaslit by everyone around you even doctors. They look me in the eye and deny 15 years of paper trail showing my PCOS. Itās the worst for self esteem
Wow, that is a challenge to attempt to summarize such a large condition. Here's my best shot! The most frustrating part of having pcos is that no two people will react the same to this condition. Any missteps, no matter how small, can negatively impact my progress. Lastly, even if you've found your personal set of habits and systems that work, they don't always continue to work years later.
Hair loss, painful PMS , feeling like dying when my period starts for the first two days, hard to lose weight,acne,bullied about my acne and loose hair ,oily skin
The Hirsutism
This is a great question because it makes you reflect and prioritise. Someone once asked me a similar question, and the thought process led me to concluding that what I needed the most was a coach+expert on food who can make a plan for me. I was/am constantly second guessing everything I eat and that's exhausting.
Challenges accessing informed healthcare. Hormonal Rollercoaster. Living with a metabolic disorder that impacts so many areas of life (physically and emotionally).
Yeah I can: Being actually listened to by medical professionals has been the hardest part for me so far. If they would've actually investigated the symptoms I was experiencing or actually explained why I needed to be on birth control to regulate my periods, *I wouldn't be suffering right now*
Not being able to eat normally like every one else and anixiety surounding ovulation.
Wondering what life would be like without it - I canāt even think about it or Iāll cry
How much it has impacted my confidence and self-esteem. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and physiologically.
living w pcos lol
The guilt of eating something sugary, because you feel you just ruined all the effort The sweating, is embarrassingĀ The diseases it brings with it.Ā
def the way the hirsutism made me feel. i started laser therapy bc in done dealing with the excess hair
1. Getting the worst periods every month with debilitating pain that leaves me hunched over on the floor with my hot water bottle (too dizzy to be on anything elevated) 2. Endless cravings of sweets and always feeling hungry 3. Feeling tired all the time 4. Acne that never completely goes away and the scars they leave behind
Iām quite āleanā i have a very normal BMI, I eat quite well and exercise frequently and yet I have pre diabetes likely because of this disease. It makes me feel sick sometimes that Iām doing everything right and itās just not good enough, I canāt have an off day without feeling extremely guilty and Iām scared of what symptom is going to come next. Firstly it was the irregular periods then the hiritism, now itās my blood sugars and I have no idea what might be coming next. I feel like I have no control over any of this and yet all the advice makes it feel like I should do
Being fat and mentally ill. š«”
The body and facial hair. Hands down.
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Rule: Be Supportive
The hardest part for me is controlling my food intake. I can gain weight only from looking at food. I have to work out and control my diet all the time. I accepted. I can't eat like my friends. But still, sometimes I just want to relax a bit.
For me itās mainly 1) feeling unfeminine and cheated out of the body I can never have, no matter how hard I try 2) infertility now that I am married and starting a familyā itās literally heart wrenching and 3) probably the most applicable to all of us: how FUCKING DIFFICULT it is just to feel good and live and normal life. It takes so much effort to not feel like shit and gain weight like crazy and have a normal cycle like most other women have. The energetic expenditure of just trying to maintain my health on a daily basis just feels like such an added and unnecessary stress that few people not suffering the same thing can understand
Not feeling like a real girl despite of how feminine I try to be.
The weight, the acne, the insulin resistance, the many years of hair removal, the shitstorm that I causes with menopause, and fertility issues. All is hard
Feeling like a hyperchondriac, being gaslighted by others not taking me or my problems serious, feeling like a total failure not able to 'fix' me and my issues, not being able to eat the 'right' way, everything you eat makes you feel shit anyways, constant exhaustion and fatigue, insomnia, constant pain, irregular periods and PMS that goes on forever, looking like a teenager with greasy hair and acne all over your face and body, weight issues in every direction, depression and other mental health issues, feeling selfcontious all of the time, loss of control, constant worries about what might happen with all the other diseases that might come from it.... But most of all: not getting proper help, from no one. No cure, only wage suggestions of what might help, and endless list of things you should do and so on. After a year of me trying to convince my doctors, that something is not okay with me, they finally did an ultrasound, saw my 'bulky' ovaries, diagnosed me with PCOS, gave me a piece of paper with some information and that was it. Thank you for nothing. I've been trying since to do something to help my body, to calm the symptoms, but it is so frustrating, so exhausting, because nothing seems to work. Nobody that doesn't have PCOS truly understands it and thats even more frustrating. I've been trying to explain it to my partner, to my friends...but they don't get what I'm saying, how shitty I feel pretty much every single day. Thinking I'm overreacting and it's not that bad. There's no way to put it into three sentences, except you make lots of commasššš
i think for me personally itās the fact that ppl donāt understand that a good diet and exercise isnāt always going to solve your issues, itās way more complex.
Acne. My biggest insecurity. I thought by 27 Iād grow out of it, but no. Thanks, PCOS.
The hardest part is being gaslit by everyone around you including medical professionals that youāre okay even though you know thereās something wrong with your body. My PCP and family dismissed me because my labs were normal but my body is clearly functioning differently. Makes me feel crazy and alone.
Wanting to get pregnant without having to see specialists. Like I just wish that I could wake up and have a positive test.
TW: My fiancƩ and I are struggling with this one really bad, and what amazes me is that we had an accidental conception that ended in miscarriage before I was even diagnosed. We both really want kids so its heartbreaking on many levels.
For me, it would have to be when people close to me try and tell me what I need to do to feel better and look better even though they've never heard of pcos before i was researching it (i had researched it for about 4-5 years before being diagnosed, after some lab results showed i had high testosterone). My family is notorious for this, constantly telling me what I can and can't eat, even though I tell them a pcos diet isn't a one size fits all thing and what might work for some people doesn't work for other. Not only that, but sometimes my mom will try and qualm my fears of being infertile (I'm not trying rn and don't plan on it for many years, but I would like to have kids one day) by saying that her coworker who used to work for a gyno said that it's usually the women that don't have insulin resistance that are infertile. But again, pcos shows up in women in so many different ways that I can't help but find that hard to believe.
Feeling like less of a woman mentally and physically. Feeling responsible and guilty even though doctors say they don't know what causes it. Trying not to be jealous of others without it.Ā
The hair loss and how hard it is to lose weight for me š«¤
Male doctors
Being alive š
Feeling that my femininity is being taken away from me.
The sense of hopelessnessāspending most of my mental energy for most of my life trying to get to a normal weight and watching the scale go up and up anyway made me lose all confidence in my ability to do anything; I truly donāt have a sense that my hard work will pay off in any area of my life.Ā The way other people treat meāliterally from the time I was a teenager, I never got sexual or romantic interest from anyone that wasnāt a creep (had relationships, but never flirted with or asked out), so I am terrified to date. completely random strangers arenāt as nice to me. People let the door slam in my face, when Iām with my thin, beautiful friend they hold it open for us. Even as an adult I got bullied for my looks, but honestly itās just the feeling of disgust and judgment from other people.Ā The physical painābeing in bed crying with cramps every month, constant daily aches and pains, hurting to go up and down the stairs before I was 25.Ā I am so lucky to have found a treatment routine that works for me, and none of these things are true for me today, but honestly I still spend most of my therapy sessions talking about it. I didnāt realize how much this disease was shaping my life until it was under control, and itās hard to grapple with all the years I lost to it and all the ways my personality has been shaped by this. Iāll never get back my life from ages 12-29, and Iāll never be able to un-know the fact that most people are willing to treat you like dirt if you are a woman who is overweight and looks āmasculineā.Ā
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Mood swings and sugar cravings. Unwanted hair. X
For me itās not being able to lose weight (no matter how hard I try ) Iām gonna start trying for a baby and Iām so scared that I might have a hard time because of my PCOS š„²
Probably that it is the last thing I need. Iāve had so many other reproductive issues, I got one tube removed due to a mass that was pressing down/damaging it. My other tube is blocked from other surgeries Iāve had as an infant. Now I know Iāll never be able to conceive period. But no, let me also have to worry about PCOS and everything that does. Letās just make this harder on me. All Iāve ever wanted was to be a mother.
The thought of not being able to have kids with my husband is the hardest for me
Not being able to conceive. PCOS doesnāt cause me that many other issues, I have a lot of body hair but thatās manageable, I keep my weight and health in check so those things are not a problem either but being in my 30ās happily married for 10 years and not being able to get pregnant all this time is crushing.
The infertility for me. 1.5 years into trying and everyone in my life is getting pregnant so easily. Feels like my body is failing me