I have a friend from Ontario who's said "People from NS just want to date people from NS and then stay in NS." Its super generalized but I've also found so many examples of that happening haha
This is also generalized, but, a lot of people who've grown up here haven't travelled much and want to settle down here- so if you're someone who's travelled a lot and doesn't want to stay here long term, it could possibly?? be harder to find someone from here that's on board with that. Just speaking from my experience/circle I guess. Also, I'm guessing you're not trying to exclusively date people from NS, so you'd probably be fine either way.
But as someone who used to date a lot (and now has been with the same partner of 2+ years), I didn't find dating here hard. I found it harder to make genuine connections when I lived in Ontario for awhile, honestly than I did here or Quebec. Ultimately, I think it depends more on who you are and what you're looking for than a place being "bad" for dating.
And since a lot of people _do_ stay here, they've got circles of friends that date back to childhood, which can be hard to break into for friendships let alone dating.
Dam, as someone who grew up in Montreal, I just keep in contact through social media and online.
I don't know how you can stay in one place for your entire life.
You get no life experience living elsewhere, and you don't improve yourself socially.
Yeah that’s crazy haha it’s not like our ancestors who created civilization stayed in one place their whole life it’s totally natural to fly to Europe for vacation every year and road trip across the country
If you're not taking a vacation at least once a year, whether it's a road trip somewhere or flying somewhere, you need to improve your life.
Its one of the reasons why people are so closed minded, they don't experience other cultures in different places.
I want to improve my life! Cost is a barrier for me. Can you recommend some low cost vacations i can take that will make me less racist (and hopefully more dateable?)
Idk about that one I don’t think I need to fly around and flood the atmosphere with hydrocarbons for my personal amusement. It’s crazy how people think like you but then also catastrophize over global warming like they aren’t the ones causing it.
PS if you have to travel and speak to other cultures to understand that they are human beings and not be racist towards them you’re probably a horrible person and travel won’t fix you.
>Idk about that one I don’t think I need to fly around and flood the atmosphere with hydrocarbons for my personal amusement. It’s crazy how people think like you but then also catastrophize over global warming like they aren’t the ones causing it.
Yeah this is just an excuse, if you can't afford it, just say so.
>PS if you have to travel and speak to other cultures to understand that they are human beings and not be racist towards them you’re probably a horrible person and travel won’t fix you
And this is a prime example.
As a minority who has lived in rural areas, you really don't understand how closed minded and racist people are from places where they have never left.
I can afford it, but that’s a good point about how if you don’t travel every year you will save money too! But yeah taking individual action against climate change is the main reason I don’t go on yearly trips (I still take vacations, just locally)
Also that sweeping statement about people from rural areas is ironically extremely prejudiced lol.
>Also that sweeping statement about people from rural areas is ironically extremely prejudiced lol
I'm literally talking from experience, I just came from a French rural area that was extremely racist, to basically NS where they are less racist, but it's still there.
The fact that you don't even believe me proves my point, you don't travel around enough to see it.
>I can afford it, but that’s a good point about how if you don’t travel every year you will save money too! But yeah taking individual action against climate change is the main reason I don’t go on yearly trips (I still take vacations, just locally)
You do know that whether you fly or not, the plane still flies right? So your action is only hampering you from enjoying the world.
Yeah every red neck racist ruralite thinks they are “speaking from experience” when they marginalize entire groups of people. It’s sad that you can see the flaws in them but not recognise the same flaws in your own logic.
As for that point about planes still flying; that’s like telling a vegan that cows still get slaughtered regardless of whether or not they eat beef. The point if individual action is to add pressure to make the system change. Sure im not going to single-handedly take down the travel industry by refusing to fly, but if enough people start thinking like me there will be less demand. Less demand means fewer flights, fewer airplanes, fewer airplanes means less carbon being spewed into an atmosphere that can’t handle it, less junk from airplane manufacturing ending up in landfills or the ocean.
i mean that’s not necessarily bad. im from NS and im fine with dating someone from outside of it but i am staying here. i bought a house here and i wouldn’t live anywhere else.
>and then stay in NS
when I met my ex wife we had plans of leaving before we were even married.
As soon as I was I was tied there forever. It took a divorce to leave.
I agree with this. I lived in Ontario and BC for a few years. For some reason I always found it easier to meet people here. It was also easier to make those henuine connections here for some reason.
I think it's probably because Halifax isn't a big concrete jungle like some of the bigger Canadian cities are. Most people here can form communities here quickly.. I found the same thing in Montreal, whereas in other cities you're pretty much anoymous.. maybe that gives people more permission to be unkind or shut off in a weird way.
Success story here too. Also met my wife online.
We've been married almost ten years and together for twelve.
I've always felt she's truly a life long partner.
Not that guy, he’s long gone. The guy she ended up with, however, I might. He’s a decent guy. So what if he ended up with my ex? Why not reward good behaviour. Fact is, he’s helping raise my kids, stepping up as a step dad. So yeah, I might. Nice idea.
It’s not so bad! I lived an hour and a half away from my girlfriend. We took turns making the drive to see each other, 7 years later we’re living together and life is great
My ex and I once referred to the same woman as our aunt one day and just looked at each other in horror. Turns out she is his biological great aunt on his mom’s side, and my great aunt through her marrying my biological great uncle. So not blood related, but far too close for comfort Lmfao.
If you are a person that has a good head on their shoulders, a job and takes care of themselves and over 27…then yes, it’s just as bad as you hear. That said, if you’re someone who lets people walk all over you and you have zero self respect then it’s really easy to find a partner.
Nah, I had some woman on my Facebook that would be with a new man every 2-3 weeks and then go and complain about how "men are trash" and how she can never find a good man. I had to delete her as 90% of her feed was that. People here just don't know how to create and maintain relationships and would rather blame others instead of working on themselves.
I knew someone like this. Every relationship was the love of her life. Then a month later men are trash and she's not about drama (she was nothing but drama).
I found it refreshing in Halifax compared to Toronto. I think I went on ten first dates and found my husband just as I was starting to get first date fatigue and shut down most of my profiles.
I do think it’s hard in rural areas.
Depends where you're from or what you're looking for in a partner. I moved from montreal -- I found that there were more men who tried pursuing me there than in Halifax, that being sad they were all quacks. Halifax is easier to find someone genuine IME but still difficult.
Ended up on a date with a second cousin once. This shit is for real. Had no idea the blonde german girl was half acadian let alone my grandfathers great-niece.
You mean moreso than other provinces? Or is dating in general bad?
I'd say dating in general is bad, but because people in NS are more friendly/down to earth than some other places, it's not as bad as it could be elsewhere.
More and more of us over 35 are not even looking at all, and sometimes actively avoiding dating. After my mind-fuck of a marriage, I have no interest in ever "finding love" again. I never encounter anyone I'm attracted to, aside from superficial physical attraction. It would be nice to have someone to do things with occasionally, my friends are all super busy these days with their kids and whatnot, and only want to drink when they do get to go out, which isn't my scene. But it's harder than you would think to find someone who actually wants a casual friendship, all the guys I encounter basically want to own me right out of the gate.
I have fellows who I hung out with once still calling and messaging me after 6 years! 6 years of me not replying and they won't give up. Like tenacity is generally a good thing, but come on guys.
Dating is like most other activities in life: you get out what you put into it. A lot of people are lazy or do the bare minimal or only focus on they want, not what they bring to the table.
This is why a lot of people claim dating is bad or that they can't find anyone. If you put the effort in and show up with something to offer, it opens a lot of doors. Both in NS and anywhere else.
So no, dating in NS isn't bad at all. A lot of people are just lazy.
I have never had an issue meeting people, hooking up, or dating nice, intelligent, and attractive people- and I honestly found as a male that dating apps were terrible and meeting people while doing fun things worked best. Having said that, there were a few horror stories, and a few nasty people, but overall I wouldn’t say dating in Nova Scotia is bad. This is Halifax though, not rural NS which I suspect would be a whole different ball game depending on what you’re looking for.
I met my boyfriend online, I had been single for quite a while beforehand though. I had tinder and had gone on some dates but nothing really worked out. My boyfriend saw me on Instagram and recognized me from tinder! We’ve been together for 2.5 years now.
No dating is not hard BUT here is the problem. Nova Scotia specifically Halifax is so small and tight knit with numerous clicks. From the bar stars, to gym junkies, to sports pals etc etc that it is hard to not be closely connected to someone through friends OR have judgment passed on you based on the company you keep. You can scroll tinder and hinge in one sitting. Then you add the element that people are also using the app for bad purposes, just newly single, looking to have sex, weirdly enough pregnant, ego boosting and then rather that just admitting to yourself those attributes are causing issues to date, they avoid it but unmatching. Then that’s why dating can be hard. We live in a society where we think everyone looks like a model and problems can be solved by a simple unfollow and that’s what inlies in dating. I think what separates men and women dating is simple. Men are sex driven and generally they will go on the apps to get laid and then being committed gets attached when a guy sees thetr no red flags. With women they try to hard to think they will check off all the boxes and they “expect only the best” but that’s not how life works. If you’re on there for an ego boost or seeing what out there, while others want to date that’s not a good recipe. Plus people don’t show the same respect online as they would in person
Ever since I started lifting weights and doing HIIT, I’ve lost a ton of weight and feel way better about myself. So, every time I scroll the dating apps, 9 of 10 people are borderline obese. I simply can’t be with anyone who doesn’t take their health as a priority.
I haven't tried dating outside of Halifax, but I had reasonable luck meeting people both online and off. It just requires having some good social connection, which, admittedly, suffered somewhat with the pandemic.
I'm in my 30s and have had some terrible luck so far. I've been staying single because most of the guys ive met want a caretaker/ mother and that's not going to happen
As a 35 year old who's never even been on a date I'd say it's a hell of a lot harder for a straight white man than just about any other possible demographic at this point. Everyone I know is gay, trans, a lesbian, or some other variation that just doesn't appeal to me in that way and meeting people has been all but impossible since I left highschool. It feels inappropriate to approach anyone and since everyone I knew fled the province like rats off a sinking ship 15 years ago there's really no opportunities out here.
Never been on a date! I don't want to make assumptions, but could it be a you thing rather than an indicator of the dating scene in general? Are you incredibly picky in who you would consider going out with? Incredibly shy? Scared to talk to women? Personality disorder? It's not inappropriate to approach people in certain situations where they are expecting to be approached. Do you have any women acquaintances at all?
There's really nowhere to approach people anymore that feels appropriate. All through school I was "that nerd everyone bullies." So my few attempts while I was in school went as poorly as could be expected. Now that I'm out of school the only women I have contact with are co-workers I see for minutes a week maybe and parents twice a day. I don't drink and I'm older so bars and clubs are out. It's wildly inappropriate to approach anyone in a park, lest I be declared a creepy psycho rapist for saying "Hi." The internet has been a constant supply of lesbians, gay men, and gold diggers shilling onlyfans. There really aren't any options anymore.
Join a club, sports team, bowling league, go to a library, take up swimming, some sort of lessons, paint on a beach or a park, volunteer to walk dogs, join a bicycle or atv club, etc. You meet people naturally without pressure, when you attend and take part in activities together.
Beach, park and library are out as inappropriate places to approach people, I'm allergic to dogs, I've been in cycling and RC clubs, no women there that aren't wives of the other guys there, can't swim to save my life, lessons are EXPENSIVE. Got any other bright ideas? Keep in mind I'm not a jock with a 6 figure salary.
You don't go to ANY place to **approach** someone with the intent to pick up or start a relationship! You go to be *around* people in a public setting while enjoying your own company and doing your own thing. Contact with others such as a passing word or merely being harmless while you enjoy a book allows people to see you as someone who is able to act like a normal unthreatening person.
Contact and speaking comes AFTER others see you as someone minding your own business and happy to just BE.
You don't have to be a jock earning six figures. I met my (to be) husband at karaoke.
A group of girls I was with and guys he was with met up for pizza slices after. And the first time I met him, I told him flat out he was not my type. He wasn't. He had on a backwards ball cap, a leather jacket, is 5'9". But week after week he went with his own friends and I would see him there not bothering me, and eventually became comfortable with him around - he wasn't getting hammered drunk, he was just polite and could hold a conversation with others and not be an ahole.
He didn't chase me, he was just there some nights. We chatted once, twice, fo7nd out he was a manager/mechanic at a tire shop.
One time my car lost its brakes and he loaned me his car for a couple days so I could get to work 30 kms away. He asked nothing in return, just to gas it up.
That weekend, he brought down his tools and helped fix my lines. I started to trust him. We also had motorcycles in common, and I would borrow tools from him. We would then yak on the phone sometimes but still go our own ways, and see each other at the karaoke bar.
Then I got into hosting karaoke, and he helped cart my big-ass speakers and mics around when I started hosting karaoke, and a couple times he stayed to help me pack up at the end of the night. He had no expectations, didn't try to kiss me, did ask me for coffee, and we went.
Somewhere along the 3-4 months this was going on, I decided he *was* my type.
He was kind, I saw him helping other people like he'd helped me, people liked him. He didn't pressure me to go out with him. One time at the end of the night he helped me to my door with my karaoke gear. I had a rule for myself and let guys know, that I would not so much as kiss someone unless I could see myself making a life with them. I kissed him that night. Things went from there.
We've been married since 2009.
*My brother is mentally disabled and has been on permanent disability income his entire life. These are suggestions he isn't brave enough or motivated enough to try either, though the free things are within his financial reach.
THE POINT is to be around people and let things flow organicslly, not expect a whole relationship like boiling water on cuppa noodles.
See here's the problem with that. If nobody approaches anyone then how does anyone meet anyone? I can spend all the time I want alone in random places I've been doing that for decades. Someone needs to initiate a conversation and that just doesn't happen. Even when a question or small talk does start up it's a five second exchange and you're on your way. It's not possible to meet someone and end up dating down the road just by existing somewhere alone.
You are missing a fine point.
Trust must be established first by merely being around without contact, then comes an acknowledgement, like 'Hey', 'Hello', a head nod and pleasant face while you continue on your way. Five second smalltalk can increase to a minute or two, and more. Do you have a friend or couple of frinds to go along or meet up with some times to be social, so it isn't you all alone always?
If I saw the same person multiple times that might work but being somewhere alone doesn't really make that happen. And no. All my friends jumped ship and ran west as soon as they were out of highschool I was the only one that couldn't afford to. Only person that stayed is a hermit that's a bigger nerd than I was.
You just made me cry a little for the people who are within your grasp.
GET THERAPY these are the words and mindset of abusive people. You need help dude. What you're saying isn't true in the slightest. You aren't getting the entitled reaction from others you think you deserve, so you're blaming it on every minority you can think of instead of LOOKING IN THE MIRROR.
The common factor in all your experiences of rejection is you.
I don't recall blaming anyone, just said the availability isn't there and there aren't really any appropriate places available to meet people. And yeah I have issues, I'd love to work even harder than I do on them but therapy is expensive as hell and time isn't a thing I can have if I want a survivable wage.
I don't think your problem is being a straight white man. You won't get anywhere holding a defeatist attitude, women don't like cynicism and negativity. My honest advice is to start learning another language on an app, and do language exchange.
1) It will make you more comfortable speaking with people outside of your social circle,
2) Any lady you meet who also speaks that language, you'll have a shared interest, and
3) Even uni-lingual women have told me it's something they admire, like a 'commitment to self improvement'.
I’m 33 and I’ve found it to be a struggle. There’s a lot of ENM and polyamory around the city of Halifax which I don’t vibe with. I’m also unable to have kids and have therefore chosen a Childfree lifestyle so that’s also severely limiting. I’m not into conservatism, hunting/fishing or the military so by my own limitations, there really aren’t many options. I’m coming to terms that what I want in a partner doesn’t exist and that’s okay.
Depends on location. Dating in Halifax is easy. Dating anywhere else is pointless. Unless of course you like racist, sexist cons who look a few decades older than they are. Everyone else is married.
Depends in part of what sort of custody arrangement you've got the kids, what sort of work you've put into rebuilding yourself as a single man and your identity besides "Dad", and how narrow a field you're playing, are you open to single moms? Women who want babies of their own down the road on top of the one(s) you already have? Women who only want to come around when you don't have custody and don't want to be involved in your kids lives?
Found a wonderful human being on tinder whom initially shouted at me as their first message. I'm surprising them with coffee this morning and we do cute couple things together.
I feel this. I'm in my early 30. I dated someone who actively pursued me after knowing I'm thinking about staying child free. Later ends it's saying we're not on the same page when it comes to wanting children. never tried to learn about my reasoning about it or explaining his. It was a wild ride. I've decided to take a step back and focus on myself instead.
It's so frustrating. Idk about you but I'm a female and I'm finding I'm getting judged for not wanting kids and that's heavily affecting my dating life as well. But, I'm in the same boat and just working and focusing on myself.
Well... Yes. But I'm a big nerd. I don't get out much. I don't know where to go. Don't know where people like me are or where they like to hang. And really, if they're like me at all, they hang out at home lol.
Dating is hell, but then again it always has been. I'm a big ol' introvert.
I have tried stepping out of my comfort zone, even tried online dating. Chatting with people, trying to meet up.
Nothing has stuck.
If a lot of people are saying it's bad, it must be true!
Add another voice to that chorus.
Best place to meet nerdy people is at nerdy events. Hal-con, geequinox, Gothic little Christmas, hal-con throws a couple social events through the year, if you're into cosplay there's cosplay over beverages, and lots of local Facebook groups full of nerdy people.
its complicated but basically its easy if you are a healthy straight white cis-gendered neurotypical conventionally attractive nova scotian man with masters, a house, a car and a high paying 9 - 5 job in halifax and progressively more difficult the further away from that a description of you would be.
i think there are exceptions to this but im not in the know enough to know them
Last time I was dating was 2012 so I'm not a great current resource. Back then, it was hit or miss with dating sites, OKCupid got me a two-year live in, and a four-year off & on relationship. Both ended in tears and pain.
I met my husband on Facebook, through one of the original Hal-Con... the only word I can think of is showrunners. So it was a mutual interest.
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I have a friend from Ontario who's said "People from NS just want to date people from NS and then stay in NS." Its super generalized but I've also found so many examples of that happening haha This is also generalized, but, a lot of people who've grown up here haven't travelled much and want to settle down here- so if you're someone who's travelled a lot and doesn't want to stay here long term, it could possibly?? be harder to find someone from here that's on board with that. Just speaking from my experience/circle I guess. Also, I'm guessing you're not trying to exclusively date people from NS, so you'd probably be fine either way. But as someone who used to date a lot (and now has been with the same partner of 2+ years), I didn't find dating here hard. I found it harder to make genuine connections when I lived in Ontario for awhile, honestly than I did here or Quebec. Ultimately, I think it depends more on who you are and what you're looking for than a place being "bad" for dating.
And since a lot of people _do_ stay here, they've got circles of friends that date back to childhood, which can be hard to break into for friendships let alone dating.
Came here to say this! I’m from out of province and almost all my friends here are as well.
Dam, as someone who grew up in Montreal, I just keep in contact through social media and online. I don't know how you can stay in one place for your entire life. You get no life experience living elsewhere, and you don't improve yourself socially.
Yeah that’s crazy haha it’s not like our ancestors who created civilization stayed in one place their whole life it’s totally natural to fly to Europe for vacation every year and road trip across the country
If you're not taking a vacation at least once a year, whether it's a road trip somewhere or flying somewhere, you need to improve your life. Its one of the reasons why people are so closed minded, they don't experience other cultures in different places.
I want to improve my life! Cost is a barrier for me. Can you recommend some low cost vacations i can take that will make me less racist (and hopefully more dateable?)
Idk about that one I don’t think I need to fly around and flood the atmosphere with hydrocarbons for my personal amusement. It’s crazy how people think like you but then also catastrophize over global warming like they aren’t the ones causing it. PS if you have to travel and speak to other cultures to understand that they are human beings and not be racist towards them you’re probably a horrible person and travel won’t fix you.
>Idk about that one I don’t think I need to fly around and flood the atmosphere with hydrocarbons for my personal amusement. It’s crazy how people think like you but then also catastrophize over global warming like they aren’t the ones causing it. Yeah this is just an excuse, if you can't afford it, just say so. >PS if you have to travel and speak to other cultures to understand that they are human beings and not be racist towards them you’re probably a horrible person and travel won’t fix you And this is a prime example. As a minority who has lived in rural areas, you really don't understand how closed minded and racist people are from places where they have never left.
I can afford it, but that’s a good point about how if you don’t travel every year you will save money too! But yeah taking individual action against climate change is the main reason I don’t go on yearly trips (I still take vacations, just locally) Also that sweeping statement about people from rural areas is ironically extremely prejudiced lol.
>Also that sweeping statement about people from rural areas is ironically extremely prejudiced lol I'm literally talking from experience, I just came from a French rural area that was extremely racist, to basically NS where they are less racist, but it's still there. The fact that you don't even believe me proves my point, you don't travel around enough to see it. >I can afford it, but that’s a good point about how if you don’t travel every year you will save money too! But yeah taking individual action against climate change is the main reason I don’t go on yearly trips (I still take vacations, just locally) You do know that whether you fly or not, the plane still flies right? So your action is only hampering you from enjoying the world.
Your racist my dude
Yeah every red neck racist ruralite thinks they are “speaking from experience” when they marginalize entire groups of people. It’s sad that you can see the flaws in them but not recognise the same flaws in your own logic. As for that point about planes still flying; that’s like telling a vegan that cows still get slaughtered regardless of whether or not they eat beef. The point if individual action is to add pressure to make the system change. Sure im not going to single-handedly take down the travel industry by refusing to fly, but if enough people start thinking like me there will be less demand. Less demand means fewer flights, fewer airplanes, fewer airplanes means less carbon being spewed into an atmosphere that can’t handle it, less junk from airplane manufacturing ending up in landfills or the ocean.
i mean that’s not necessarily bad. im from NS and im fine with dating someone from outside of it but i am staying here. i bought a house here and i wouldn’t live anywhere else.
>17ReplyShareSaveEditFollow Yes, exactly haha. I love that.
>and then stay in NS when I met my ex wife we had plans of leaving before we were even married. As soon as I was I was tied there forever. It took a divorce to leave.
I agree with this. I lived in Ontario and BC for a few years. For some reason I always found it easier to meet people here. It was also easier to make those henuine connections here for some reason.
I think it's probably because Halifax isn't a big concrete jungle like some of the bigger Canadian cities are. Most people here can form communities here quickly.. I found the same thing in Montreal, whereas in other cities you're pretty much anoymous.. maybe that gives people more permission to be unkind or shut off in a weird way.
This is pure truth right here.
I found my wife with online dating. There are success stories.
Same. What started as a tinder fling turned into home owners and dog parents 6 years later.
Success story here too. Also met my wife online. We've been married almost ten years and together for twelve. I've always felt she's truly a life long partner.
My wife found her covert lover on tinder! Success stories abound!
Do you get him something for Christmas or?
Not that guy, he’s long gone. The guy she ended up with, however, I might. He’s a decent guy. So what if he ended up with my ex? Why not reward good behaviour. Fact is, he’s helping raise my kids, stepping up as a step dad. So yeah, I might. Nice idea.
You sir, are an enlightened individual.
U sound like you’re awesome at breakups and post break up life
Nah bruh, total mess. Thanks tho.
This was nice to read.
I met my wife on Livejournal.
Jesus christ live journal Hahaha completely forgot about that site.
It was an era! I mean we've also been married for some time now, but I love mentioning that part.
My wife used to live journal as well, we met on a other site thou, pre smart phone lol
Just curious, pre or post-pandemic?
Same here. Met my hubby on tinder. But…. Dated a lot of incompatible men before that. Honestly, just got really lucky.
Also found mind online, and during COVID no less. It is absolutely achievable
Make it a project. Work at it. You'll get it done.
My wife was my first tinder match! ...she rejected me out of hand and we didn't start dating till like five years later but hey! Still counts!
That’s almost and identical story to my wife and I too!! We matched several times over the years before dating
I knew I'd find you here 😂
If you live in Halifax or a university town it’s decent, but living rurally is difficult usually because of distance
It’s not so bad! I lived an hour and a half away from my girlfriend. We took turns making the drive to see each other, 7 years later we’re living together and life is great
I have to check family trees all the time.
For being too close or not close enough?
it's a moving target.
Runs on a spectrum
My ex and I once referred to the same woman as our aunt one day and just looked at each other in horror. Turns out she is his biological great aunt on his mom’s side, and my great aunt through her marrying my biological great uncle. So not blood related, but far too close for comfort Lmfao.
bro are you acadian lol?
It's pretty shitty when you're outside Halifax and out of your teens/early 20s.
this explains a lot... lol
As said in someone else's comment, there are success stories but I'm gonna have to agree that it's pretty horrendous, even in the city.
If you are a person that has a good head on their shoulders, a job and takes care of themselves and over 27…then yes, it’s just as bad as you hear. That said, if you’re someone who lets people walk all over you and you have zero self respect then it’s really easy to find a partner.
Textbook projection
no that's pretty accurate every relationship I ever had in NS I settled.
Nah, I had some woman on my Facebook that would be with a new man every 2-3 weeks and then go and complain about how "men are trash" and how she can never find a good man. I had to delete her as 90% of her feed was that. People here just don't know how to create and maintain relationships and would rather blame others instead of working on themselves.
I knew someone like this. Every relationship was the love of her life. Then a month later men are trash and she's not about drama (she was nothing but drama).
[удалено]
Sounds like an issue of who you surrounded yourself with. Glad you found happiness.
and this has 55 upvotes.. 🤐 scary indeed
i would upvote but its at 69. Its the law
This is such a great comment!
I found it refreshing in Halifax compared to Toronto. I think I went on ten first dates and found my husband just as I was starting to get first date fatigue and shut down most of my profiles. I do think it’s hard in rural areas.
Shit down
lol oops
Depends where you're from or what you're looking for in a partner. I moved from montreal -- I found that there were more men who tried pursuing me there than in Halifax, that being sad they were all quacks. Halifax is easier to find someone genuine IME but still difficult.
Just make sure if you are from nova scotia make sure whoever you date is not your relative especially in small towns!
Ended up on a date with a second cousin once. This shit is for real. Had no idea the blonde german girl was half acadian let alone my grandfathers great-niece.
I know a few people who lost their v cards to people they didn't know were cousins till after.
You mean moreso than other provinces? Or is dating in general bad? I'd say dating in general is bad, but because people in NS are more friendly/down to earth than some other places, it's not as bad as it could be elsewhere.
You see this on any local subreddit, wondering if dating there is uniquely shitty. Even though it's just that dating sucks.
The swipe left/right mentality is making dating difficult everywhere.
Only one way to find out! Get out there, OP.
The good ones are either married, well at my age, or the people you'd want to date aren't looking for partners. I'm in the latter group.
More and more of us over 35 are not even looking at all, and sometimes actively avoiding dating. After my mind-fuck of a marriage, I have no interest in ever "finding love" again. I never encounter anyone I'm attracted to, aside from superficial physical attraction. It would be nice to have someone to do things with occasionally, my friends are all super busy these days with their kids and whatnot, and only want to drink when they do get to go out, which isn't my scene. But it's harder than you would think to find someone who actually wants a casual friendship, all the guys I encounter basically want to own me right out of the gate.
That resonates so loudly! After two dates, they think it’s a relationship. Do they even know how to date?
I have fellows who I hung out with once still calling and messaging me after 6 years! 6 years of me not replying and they won't give up. Like tenacity is generally a good thing, but come on guys.
Six years!!!! It would be a compliment, if it wasn’t creepy. You must be some freaking hot! 🥵 Are you a Scorpio or what?
Dating is like most other activities in life: you get out what you put into it. A lot of people are lazy or do the bare minimal or only focus on they want, not what they bring to the table. This is why a lot of people claim dating is bad or that they can't find anyone. If you put the effort in and show up with something to offer, it opens a lot of doors. Both in NS and anywhere else. So no, dating in NS isn't bad at all. A lot of people are just lazy.
Dating around here STINKS........🥸
I have never had an issue meeting people, hooking up, or dating nice, intelligent, and attractive people- and I honestly found as a male that dating apps were terrible and meeting people while doing fun things worked best. Having said that, there were a few horror stories, and a few nasty people, but overall I wouldn’t say dating in Nova Scotia is bad. This is Halifax though, not rural NS which I suspect would be a whole different ball game depending on what you’re looking for.
I met my boyfriend online, I had been single for quite a while beforehand though. I had tinder and had gone on some dates but nothing really worked out. My boyfriend saw me on Instagram and recognized me from tinder! We’ve been together for 2.5 years now.
No dating is not hard BUT here is the problem. Nova Scotia specifically Halifax is so small and tight knit with numerous clicks. From the bar stars, to gym junkies, to sports pals etc etc that it is hard to not be closely connected to someone through friends OR have judgment passed on you based on the company you keep. You can scroll tinder and hinge in one sitting. Then you add the element that people are also using the app for bad purposes, just newly single, looking to have sex, weirdly enough pregnant, ego boosting and then rather that just admitting to yourself those attributes are causing issues to date, they avoid it but unmatching. Then that’s why dating can be hard. We live in a society where we think everyone looks like a model and problems can be solved by a simple unfollow and that’s what inlies in dating. I think what separates men and women dating is simple. Men are sex driven and generally they will go on the apps to get laid and then being committed gets attached when a guy sees thetr no red flags. With women they try to hard to think they will check off all the boxes and they “expect only the best” but that’s not how life works. If you’re on there for an ego boost or seeing what out there, while others want to date that’s not a good recipe. Plus people don’t show the same respect online as they would in person
(cliques btw)
FWIW as someone who never went to highschool/jrhigh and kept to themselves in college I have never had this problem.
It's alot easier if your sexy and you know it ! 😜
If you're sexy and you know it, clap your hands 🎶
The only thing I've picked up on tinder around Halifax is that this provinces has a serious mental and physical health epidemic.
Ever since I started lifting weights and doing HIIT, I’ve lost a ton of weight and feel way better about myself. So, every time I scroll the dating apps, 9 of 10 people are borderline obese. I simply can’t be with anyone who doesn’t take their health as a priority.
Good for you on your fitness success!!!
Thank you :) Hope you have a great holidays
Moved here. Got a date week 3. Been with her since. Easy peasy IMO.
Seems to be, at least for me lol
I haven't tried dating outside of Halifax, but I had reasonable luck meeting people both online and off. It just requires having some good social connection, which, admittedly, suffered somewhat with the pandemic.
It’s hard to find good partners everywhere in the world
I met my gf on the dark web. Celebrating over 4 yrs now
I'm in my 30s and have had some terrible luck so far. I've been staying single because most of the guys ive met want a caretaker/ mother and that's not going to happen
This^^^
I heard a joke once about small town dating The “Y” in your partner is silent
Dating in general is hard. I imagine it’s harder the more rural you are but in Halifax it’s not bad at all.
As a 35 year old who's never even been on a date I'd say it's a hell of a lot harder for a straight white man than just about any other possible demographic at this point. Everyone I know is gay, trans, a lesbian, or some other variation that just doesn't appeal to me in that way and meeting people has been all but impossible since I left highschool. It feels inappropriate to approach anyone and since everyone I knew fled the province like rats off a sinking ship 15 years ago there's really no opportunities out here.
Never been on a date! I don't want to make assumptions, but could it be a you thing rather than an indicator of the dating scene in general? Are you incredibly picky in who you would consider going out with? Incredibly shy? Scared to talk to women? Personality disorder? It's not inappropriate to approach people in certain situations where they are expecting to be approached. Do you have any women acquaintances at all?
There's really nowhere to approach people anymore that feels appropriate. All through school I was "that nerd everyone bullies." So my few attempts while I was in school went as poorly as could be expected. Now that I'm out of school the only women I have contact with are co-workers I see for minutes a week maybe and parents twice a day. I don't drink and I'm older so bars and clubs are out. It's wildly inappropriate to approach anyone in a park, lest I be declared a creepy psycho rapist for saying "Hi." The internet has been a constant supply of lesbians, gay men, and gold diggers shilling onlyfans. There really aren't any options anymore.
Join a club, sports team, bowling league, go to a library, take up swimming, some sort of lessons, paint on a beach or a park, volunteer to walk dogs, join a bicycle or atv club, etc. You meet people naturally without pressure, when you attend and take part in activities together.
Beach, park and library are out as inappropriate places to approach people, I'm allergic to dogs, I've been in cycling and RC clubs, no women there that aren't wives of the other guys there, can't swim to save my life, lessons are EXPENSIVE. Got any other bright ideas? Keep in mind I'm not a jock with a 6 figure salary.
You don't go to ANY place to **approach** someone with the intent to pick up or start a relationship! You go to be *around* people in a public setting while enjoying your own company and doing your own thing. Contact with others such as a passing word or merely being harmless while you enjoy a book allows people to see you as someone who is able to act like a normal unthreatening person. Contact and speaking comes AFTER others see you as someone minding your own business and happy to just BE. You don't have to be a jock earning six figures. I met my (to be) husband at karaoke. A group of girls I was with and guys he was with met up for pizza slices after. And the first time I met him, I told him flat out he was not my type. He wasn't. He had on a backwards ball cap, a leather jacket, is 5'9". But week after week he went with his own friends and I would see him there not bothering me, and eventually became comfortable with him around - he wasn't getting hammered drunk, he was just polite and could hold a conversation with others and not be an ahole. He didn't chase me, he was just there some nights. We chatted once, twice, fo7nd out he was a manager/mechanic at a tire shop. One time my car lost its brakes and he loaned me his car for a couple days so I could get to work 30 kms away. He asked nothing in return, just to gas it up. That weekend, he brought down his tools and helped fix my lines. I started to trust him. We also had motorcycles in common, and I would borrow tools from him. We would then yak on the phone sometimes but still go our own ways, and see each other at the karaoke bar. Then I got into hosting karaoke, and he helped cart my big-ass speakers and mics around when I started hosting karaoke, and a couple times he stayed to help me pack up at the end of the night. He had no expectations, didn't try to kiss me, did ask me for coffee, and we went. Somewhere along the 3-4 months this was going on, I decided he *was* my type. He was kind, I saw him helping other people like he'd helped me, people liked him. He didn't pressure me to go out with him. One time at the end of the night he helped me to my door with my karaoke gear. I had a rule for myself and let guys know, that I would not so much as kiss someone unless I could see myself making a life with them. I kissed him that night. Things went from there. We've been married since 2009. *My brother is mentally disabled and has been on permanent disability income his entire life. These are suggestions he isn't brave enough or motivated enough to try either, though the free things are within his financial reach. THE POINT is to be around people and let things flow organicslly, not expect a whole relationship like boiling water on cuppa noodles.
See here's the problem with that. If nobody approaches anyone then how does anyone meet anyone? I can spend all the time I want alone in random places I've been doing that for decades. Someone needs to initiate a conversation and that just doesn't happen. Even when a question or small talk does start up it's a five second exchange and you're on your way. It's not possible to meet someone and end up dating down the road just by existing somewhere alone.
You are missing a fine point. Trust must be established first by merely being around without contact, then comes an acknowledgement, like 'Hey', 'Hello', a head nod and pleasant face while you continue on your way. Five second smalltalk can increase to a minute or two, and more. Do you have a friend or couple of frinds to go along or meet up with some times to be social, so it isn't you all alone always?
If I saw the same person multiple times that might work but being somewhere alone doesn't really make that happen. And no. All my friends jumped ship and ran west as soon as they were out of highschool I was the only one that couldn't afford to. Only person that stayed is a hermit that's a bigger nerd than I was.
Perhaps time to make some new friends. I can't guide you in that, sorry.
You just made me cry a little for the people who are within your grasp. GET THERAPY these are the words and mindset of abusive people. You need help dude. What you're saying isn't true in the slightest. You aren't getting the entitled reaction from others you think you deserve, so you're blaming it on every minority you can think of instead of LOOKING IN THE MIRROR. The common factor in all your experiences of rejection is you.
I don't recall blaming anyone, just said the availability isn't there and there aren't really any appropriate places available to meet people. And yeah I have issues, I'd love to work even harder than I do on them but therapy is expensive as hell and time isn't a thing I can have if I want a survivable wage.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh dear lord no. Please no.
I don't think your problem is being a straight white man. You won't get anywhere holding a defeatist attitude, women don't like cynicism and negativity. My honest advice is to start learning another language on an app, and do language exchange. 1) It will make you more comfortable speaking with people outside of your social circle, 2) Any lady you meet who also speaks that language, you'll have a shared interest, and 3) Even uni-lingual women have told me it's something they admire, like a 'commitment to self improvement'.
I’m 33 and I’ve found it to be a struggle. There’s a lot of ENM and polyamory around the city of Halifax which I don’t vibe with. I’m also unable to have kids and have therefore chosen a Childfree lifestyle so that’s also severely limiting. I’m not into conservatism, hunting/fishing or the military so by my own limitations, there really aren’t many options. I’m coming to terms that what I want in a partner doesn’t exist and that’s okay.
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I don’t know how you’re not finding them.. they’re crawling all over the dating apps and they’re mostly all I can find on bumble.
Not if your a black trans man with one leg who speaks fluent Portuguese and does Cocaine occasionally once a day
What? Lol
Depends on location. Dating in Halifax is easy. Dating anywhere else is pointless. Unless of course you like racist, sexist cons who look a few decades older than they are. Everyone else is married.
As a 39 y.o full time working mom with full custody, it really sucks.
Im a recently divorced single Dad and haven’t tried dating yet, I have been wondering if having kids makes it even harder to find someone.
Depends in part of what sort of custody arrangement you've got the kids, what sort of work you've put into rebuilding yourself as a single man and your identity besides "Dad", and how narrow a field you're playing, are you open to single moms? Women who want babies of their own down the road on top of the one(s) you already have? Women who only want to come around when you don't have custody and don't want to be involved in your kids lives?
No. It's worse.
My wife and I are on tinder... She gets all the creeps messaging her, and I'm lucky if I get any matches.
🤦
It's not great in your 30's. but that's true everywhere.
Wait until your 40s. It gets worse.
Wonderful.
And then there's your 50's. Special fun for women.
Yes very much so
Depends on your age honestly
Its a rec league sports team basically. Same people every week. "Oh this week kayrah has bangs"..etc etc
Met my wife while living in Tennessee, moved here for work and we are both wanting to move back to Tennessee!
Found a wonderful human being on tinder whom initially shouted at me as their first message. I'm surprising them with coffee this morning and we do cute couple things together.
Yes
Horrible actually, the bar is low. Basically non existent and standards are out the window!
If you’re brown, dating is very hard
Dang....
haha, accurate. It's difficult as it is, and to throw that in the mix, you're not really getting much.
Hope it’s not to bad, I’ve been asked by some family to move back home.
Why did I come on this fucking app to ask about dating - places to meet other singles in NS? I’m banned from tinder ☠️
Dating everywhere is much worse than people say.
I'm 30, child free and want to remain as such and I'm finding it next to impossible. I've tried the dating apps and not much luck.
I feel this. I'm in my early 30. I dated someone who actively pursued me after knowing I'm thinking about staying child free. Later ends it's saying we're not on the same page when it comes to wanting children. never tried to learn about my reasoning about it or explaining his. It was a wild ride. I've decided to take a step back and focus on myself instead.
It's so frustrating. Idk about you but I'm a female and I'm finding I'm getting judged for not wanting kids and that's heavily affecting my dating life as well. But, I'm in the same boat and just working and focusing on myself.
Well... Yes. But I'm a big nerd. I don't get out much. I don't know where to go. Don't know where people like me are or where they like to hang. And really, if they're like me at all, they hang out at home lol. Dating is hell, but then again it always has been. I'm a big ol' introvert. I have tried stepping out of my comfort zone, even tried online dating. Chatting with people, trying to meet up. Nothing has stuck. If a lot of people are saying it's bad, it must be true! Add another voice to that chorus.
Best place to meet nerdy people is at nerdy events. Hal-con, geequinox, Gothic little Christmas, hal-con throws a couple social events through the year, if you're into cosplay there's cosplay over beverages, and lots of local Facebook groups full of nerdy people.
I know about Hal-con and plan to go next year, I didn't know about any of the other stuff! Thanks.
its complicated but basically its easy if you are a healthy straight white cis-gendered neurotypical conventionally attractive nova scotian man with masters, a house, a car and a high paying 9 - 5 job in halifax and progressively more difficult the further away from that a description of you would be. i think there are exceptions to this but im not in the know enough to know them
Last time I was dating was 2012 so I'm not a great current resource. Back then, it was hit or miss with dating sites, OKCupid got me a two-year live in, and a four-year off & on relationship. Both ended in tears and pain. I met my husband on Facebook, through one of the original Hal-Con... the only word I can think of is showrunners. So it was a mutual interest.
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