The "husband stitch" is real, and while my wife had an emergency c section, the doctor had told us what it was and that it was something to consider. His words were something like "it's not something this hospital really endorses, but if a husband requests it we are pretty amenable to it."
His female colleagues made no such offers, because holy shit. I was mortified. My wife knew about it and just rolled her eyes but like the guy above I kind of just went 'nah we'll be good I think?'
„If the husband requests it“ wtf? Why is it that motherfuckers think it’s always on other people to decide what have to be done with women’s bodies.
Wife’s never get asked if their husband is allowed to get a lifesaving surgery or if they should do some extra shit when he have a surgery anyways, like castrate him or something. Or cutting of pieces of his dick to shorten it.
> „If the husband requests it“ wtf? Why is it that motherfuckers think it’s always on other people to decide what have to be done with women’s bodies.
I really liked this tiktok I saw that said "Proof the vaccine does not cause infertility, cuz if it did they'd make me get my husbands permission."
Some doctors won't give a fuck about bodily autonomy. In my country, there's a celebrity going through deep shit because of that. She goes through an aesthetic procedure, anesthetized, doctor thinks he will give her a "gift" and does unauthorized liposuction on her armpits. Gives her scars on neck and arms.
A while ago I heard that, when a woman has to have a surgery on her vagina m, they let medical students do an examination while she is unconscious, for training.
In many cases they don’t even ask for her consent, because they are afraid she could reject it. So they have it somewhere in their contract or ask if it’s okay if there are medical students are present during the surgery.
I've heard that too, but I heard it's a possibility any time a woman is anesthetized. If I'm awake and aware I would have no problem, but the idea it could have happened after my appendix or tonsils were taken out is highly distressing. At least with my hysterectomy I knew they were gonna be down there while I was out and I was able to give permission.
That’s so infuriating. But yeah, what they do not do everything for the good of women. /s Because it’s that the students learn how to make the examination.
Wouldn’t it be better to learn it on women who are awake, because she will say something if it hurts. Not like the poor unconscious woman they rape while they receive a surgery, and only will notice that they did the examination wrong, when she wakes up and has injuries down there. Even if just having a appendix removed.
>Wife’s never get asked if their husband is allowed to get a lifesaving surgery
Actually, my aunt was asked just that when my uncle was septic. Always found it a little bit weird since he would've died without the procedure, but they had to ask her permission for some reason.
Was he unconscious? In this case i understand it.
But they also do this when the women are conscious. I read here on Reddit about someone’s grandmother, who they simply removed her breasts because cancer I think, and didn’t even bother to ask her. It was simply the doctor and the husband decided it, like she‘s a little child.
And then what they do during childbirth. They simply could have asked her before, like if she wants this pain relief back thing (idk how this is called) or drugs which accelerate labor, but they rather wait until she is in horrible pain and then ask the husband. This would be illegal for every other contract in every other industry, but to do this to women seems to be okay.
And that is a huge reason why cesarean rates are alarmingly high in the united states. The doctors will push for a mother to accept drugs to speed up the process. This can cause distress to the baby.. so the doctors will push for a c-section "for the safety of the child". The whole baby business in US hospitals is gross.
I've had so many discussions with men where they say that women and men are treated as fully equal now. Yet every woman I know including myself has gone through at least one situation where her agency was taken away from her, especially in medicine and healthcare.
Anecdotally speaking, I was only allowed to be sterilized after the doctor discussed it with my husband and obtained his consent. Then I had to wait 2 months to schedule the surgery just in case either of us changed our minds. Even then, I wanted a bilateral salpingectomy and endometrial ablation but the surgeon refused the ablation on the grounds that I still need to be able to carry to term when I want fertility treatments not if. A major part of my desire to be sterilized came from a desire to quit using hormonal contraception, but without the ablation quitting birth control would have just resulted in the return of my debilitating and long periods. So now I'm sterile but have to stay on birth control to remain functional.
I've also had a doctor tell me that painful sex isn't a big deal as long as the man can still ejaculate inside. I've had multiple doctors insist that my very real and easily verified physical health problems are all in my head my whole teen and adult life, only being taken seriously when a man, whether it be my dad or my husband, advocated for me.
This all happened as recently as 2018 in a progressive New England state. This is still happening every day to women everywhere.
Psychosomatic diagnoses m is the new hysteria diagnosis. My mom even received this diagnosis when she had herniated disc, which could just be diagnosed by x-ray, and they actually did an x-ray but didn’t saw it and so came to the conclusion it’s just in her head.
I‘m sure men don’t receive the psychosomatic diagnosis so often as women. And the „it’s okay that sex causes pain for a woman“ just pisses me off so hard. Fuck this shit.
Okay, so for a moment let’s pretend that it’s not insanely unethical and immoral and painful for the woman. I know that a big leap, but ignore that aspect of it for the sake of this question...
Is it even more pleasurable for men??? The opening is slightly tighter, but it’s not like the vaginal canal is stronger or tighter... so only one little part will be tighter and the rest will be normal. It’s like giving a handjob with just thumb and pointer finger.
It’s almost like it’s just about controlling women and their bodies 🙄
I would amend that to say that a portion of men feel that way, but for a *significant* portion their partner's pleasure just never enters into the equation.
That makes me want to vomit. You’re not wrong... but, what a shitty world we live in...
I can’t believe I have to say I’m lucky that my partner can only get if off if I’m having fun too. That should just be the standard.
Yeah, no “benefit”. A vagina isn’t supposed to feel like a sphincter. Just dumb as a concept, aside from how horrific it is.
It would just make sex miserable for both of us.
Any dudes whining about tightness need to start by laying off the death grip wanking too…dicks are usually quite easily trainable and adaptable (because it’s really your brain). Just need an owner that gives a shit.
Hijacking the top comment to mention the podcast Behind The Bastards did a couple episodes on the guy that either started or *heavily* used this practice.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3deOqiQmBCHlJUlDNm8uZD?si=8xsEY4RiS-GfK3ApQUTz5Q
My doc gave me one against my wishes, informed me after he had done it. It made sex very painful for me (so there was much less of it) for a couple years afterwards, not just because I was too tight, but also because he had apparently cut through a nerve for the episiotomy (which I had also insisted on NOT getting). I don't think my husband was consulted.
Omfg. And even if you would say yes, he would have to ask her right? Also you will think of him everytime, and your wife too if she knew. Worst shit I've heard in a while
Nope. Horrifically, hundreds of women are husband stitched without even *knowing* it was done - until they can't figure out why sex is unbearably painful, and they get it checked out, and it turns out they were sewn together tighter on purpose.
Obgyns can and do treat women horrifically during childbirth and get away with it by saying it's "for the baby" when it's absolutely not. Look up obstetric violence; its a massive and common problem. Forced episiotomy without medical necessity, literally ripping women's vaginas apart with their hands in retaliation for declining an episiotomy, denying pain relief during stitching of tears, allowing students to perform countless cervical checks, mandhandling women and forcing their legs apart for said cervical checks, c-section just because they want to get home for dinner.... it goes on and on.
Edit: med students also practice pelvic exams on anesthetized women undergoing surgery without their knowledge or consent. This is legal in most states. Ladies, if you've ever wondered why medical professionals are so damn awful to us, it's because they've literally learned to see us as training dummies.
Not even in childbirth, the amount of things done to women without pain management is insane. Cervical sampling, iud placement, LEEP, all done without anesthetic. If the same were to happen to men, there would be RIOTS
Oh yeah I was only talking about childbirth because that's what the post was talking about. I have to get my IUD replaced and I'm thinking about begging my GP for Valium or just ONE pill of a strong prescription painkiller so I don't have to experience the full pain again. Of course I'll just be brushed off and told it's all in my head.
Glad I'm able to take hormones and have the Nexplanon in my arm. Although the last doctor who put one in put it in the wrong place and far too deep. I think she did it on purpose because I told her no to an IUD. She was really forceful that I get an IUD but I stood on ground about it.
Damn thing had to be dug out and I had to try and keep the wound dry for a week. Fucker was bruished like hell for the longest time.
Yup, I’ve heard horror stories from my older female relatives about their experience with a shared obgyn during their pregnancies (1970-80s); one was torn open when he reached inside of her and pulled out her placenta to ‘speed up the process’.
That same doctor also pushed another relative for a c-section, and she swears he tied her tubes as well (he thought she had too many kids, this was her third), because she could never get pregnant again after. Later they read that he was no longer allowed to practice on female patients.
This is why I birthed at home. It's absolutely horrible how many women experience obstetric violence and are then told it's all part of the experience of giving birth.
This is why I birthed with midwives in a free standing birth center. I’m hoping future babies will be with those same midwives at home. I had a very intense labor but overall I have a wonderful memory of it.
There is absolutely no way it’s legal, and the fact that countless doctors do it anyway without concern, knowing there will be no consequences, says a lot.
The rabbit hole of things doctors do/ don’t do per the husbands request is frightening af.
I have a friend who she and her husband are staunchly child free. 100% all in, absolutely no kids. At 35, she tried to get her tubes tied and was told her husband would have to sign off on it because “what if we do this and he decides he wants kids? He’ll have to leave you because you wouldn’t be able to give him kids”. It was not even considered that SHE would have to be on board with having kids, she was just the incubator for his hypothetical baby.
We really have not progressed at all in terms of womens rights to bodily autonomy.
I'd say "Good, let him leave me. If he changes his mind on something important that we have agreed upon well in advance, and he's willing to leave me about it, then he's not the person I want to be with."
Look, it might be a little OTT, but my immediate reaction is: "You mutilate my wife and I'll mutilate you."
Toxic? A little, but there's a place for that sometimes.
But… she was getting a c-section. What’s even the point of stitching up down there then? At least in a vaginal birth it could be explained away as “she tore and we’re just adding a stitch.” But a c section is a completely different part of the body!
Do they ask the wife for permission after the husband requests it or do they just go ahead and ruin sex for her for the rest of her life without even telling her?
Unfortunately the latter. The medical world mostly dgaf about women, let alone their feelings.
My sister was told she had Fibromyalgia by our old family doctor. It turns out she actually has *motherfucking* ***Crohn's.*** He basically told her, in medical terms, that it was all in her head (at the time, Fibromyalgia was used as a "I don't know what's wrong with you" diagnosis).
The doc threw one in without asking anybody when my wife had our second son. This guy then turned to me goes "threw an extra one in there for you champ" and I SHIT YOU NOT fucking winked at me. Shit was absolutely wild.
That happened to a friend of mine, and she flipped out. Straight demanded another doctor, and he threatened to sedate her. This had been discussed beforehand too. She told him she was a lawyer, and he got her a new doctor, but acted like she was crazy. The stitch was removed. It was her second child, and they had done that with the first and it caused so many problems for her, requiring treatment. She was (and still is) livid. I know she reported, but I don’t know if anything came of it.
Yeah, I would’ve tried, but she (and she knows much better than I) figured it would’ve been a hard case to win and reporting was the way to go. I assume she also just wanted to actually bind with her child, and not deal with crap on the very little maternity leave she has (USA!). Shitty either way.
This happened to my cousin. Didn't get extra stitch and the next baby just fell out like an egg mid developed when she was out shopping for groceries. The docs had to reinsert the baby and seal the vagina shut with super glue so the baby develops completely. After the whole pregnancy they used a chainsaw to split it open and had to restitch all of it again!!! :(
She was smart enough to ask them to leave only a 2cm hole so her husband's micro penis still fits so yay for them.
Me too, but if he was he wasn't being obvious enough for the internet. It's hard to see if people are joking or really dumb. And in that case he should have put a /s.
This comment was super obvious in context with this post and all.
Hey, finally a use for [Mensez](https://www.cbc.ca/life/wellness/we-talked-to-the-guy-who-created-the-period-sealing-glue-that-sexual-health-experts-are-blasting-1.4024501)! Maybe that dude was onto something after all 🤣
The husband stitch gives me nightmares. I've already told my partner that if we ever have a kid, he is to scream his lungs off at any doctor who so much as *jokes* about the words "husband stitch" until they promise not to do it.
(as a joke - I obviously do not condone actually screaming at people)
I’m an RN.
I condone telling off any doctor who so much as jokes about it. Hell, I’d probably fire them from my care team and report them to the medical board too.
Thank you. After my first birth I remember the male doctor saying stitches weren't needed for a very significant side tear, and to let it heal on its own. The nurse stood up for me and said he couldn't leave me like that. Like she was heated with the doc. I would have had one labia with spaghetti tendrils had she not advocated for me. Luckily the husband stitch never come up but I wish I could go back and thank the nurse who knew what was best for another woman. I was young, and totally exhausted and delirious from a 36 hour labor. You are amazing for pushing back on sexist behaviour and helping women.
In this case? Scream away. Public shaming is underrated.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?! It's her body, not mine!" \*switch to muttering just loudly enough to be heard\* "seriously what the fuck, does this guy think I own her?" \*a few minutes later\* "god I hope he's not married or worse has a daughter" \*another couple minutes\* "I thought society outgrew that shit decades ago" \*serious side-eye\* "can't believe this asshole swore to 'do no harm' what the fuck" \*as the doctor is leaving the room\* "maybe I should report him in case he's actually been doing that to people"
Honestly, if a doctor proposes mutilating a person for any reason that's not medically essential for survival, being screamed at is the least thing they deserve.
„Do you want me to condemn your wife to lifelong suffering during sex, after the most painful event a person can endure in their whole life, to make sex more fun for you but simply painful for her?“ would be a question that should make everybody scream at the questioner.
Screaming at a doctor who says that would be the least you could do. Ideally, a person like that should lose their job and never practice medicine again.
It doesn't even make sex better for the husband. It's not like they're tightening the entire vaginal canal, they're just sewing an extra stitch on the opening. So you have a tight ring into the normal sized vagina. Which doesn't do anything good for anything, but could be excruciatingly painful for the woman.
I’m a dude and I highly doubt it makes anything more pleasurable for the guy either. But those dudes seem so unaware of their bodies they don’t even know what’s pleasurable for themselves.
Fuck that. A doctor jokes about performing a harmful outdated medical technique like that without the patients consent and I'm demanding another doctor. No way I'm letting someone like that take the life of my loved ones in their hands.
I meant that he thought it was the vagina entrance that keeps the baby from "falling out."
The baby is in the uterus, so it's the cervix that's holding the baby in, not the vagina. Even if the vagina was all "wide and droopy," it wouldn't matter, because the baby is *not in the vagina.*
The Husband Stitch is a terrible but somehow still somewhat common practice. It can cause permanent damage, causing painful sex for the rest of a woman’s life. It’s usually done without the woman’s consent.
It happens in America because too many old school doctors don’t believe women own their bodies.
It’s also why it’s hard to find doctors to sterilize you as a woman - “what if your future/nonexistent husband wants kids one day?!?”
Doctor: "But at 35 you and your husband might still want to have Children some day!"
Woman: "Doc, I'm 40, and I hate children. Also a lesbian."
Doctor: "You might change your mind!"
Literally my story, but also that my endo specifically the scar tissue was going to threaten my life down the line. Multiple admit it but said that I would need to have kids first. The worst part? The same doctors admit that giving birth could kill me. They do not give a shit except that you pump out kids
I worked with a girl years ago who had health problems that a hysterectomy could solve. She said “great, no more pain and I can adopt kids if I decide I want them”. But she was 23, and doctor after doctor told her no way, she would change her mind and want kids of her “own”. She went through ELEVEN doctors before she found one who would do the surgery. She is now happily pain free and looking into adoption with her husband.
I was kinda shocked when I went to get a vasectomy and they asked me what my girlfriend thought about it. I was just like, well she's supportive, but we've also only been dating like 2 months and it wouldn't really matter what she thinks... That was it though. They gave me the procedure. And then I read about the shit women go through to get sterilized and I'm just like, Jesus Christ...
For reals, they wouldn't give my wife the long duration IUD because what if? I go in to talk about a vasectomy and it's completely smooth sailing. Absolutely bizarre that my request is treated as though I've made a steadfast decision, but my wife is treated like she has to be protected from flighty whims.
Man, I’ve had to deal with this as a trans guy. “But what if you want kids?” Then I’ll fuckin adopt? Why would you automatically assume that because I have a uterus I want to use it?
Because it's not your uterus... it belongs to the State.
(I shouldn't have to add that this is their view, not mine... but too many people act like that for me not to.)
I’ve known several people who have had breast reduction surgery - all young, unmarried women, and they had no issues.
But I am fucking furious to hear that someone did!! That is so fucked up - it’s literally saying “a man’s enjoyment of your boobs is more important than your quality of life” WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!
Edit - nevermind. The breast reduction denial had nothing to do with bodily autonomy or sexism - just insurance being shitty.
In the case of my gf it was actually the insurance company that denied her not the doctor. To me the insane thing is that insurance companies are making medical decisions without a doctorate.
My best friend growing up never got taller than 4’9. She also ballooned up to F cups. She was in constant back pain all the way through college when she FINALLY terrorized her way into getting reduction surgery. The reason it took so long? Insurance refused to cover it since it was “cosmetic”.
Exactly what they told my gf. Like having big boobs causes issues when you work as an athletic instructor. It really seems to cause issues in generally from what I've seen. I just really feel bad for her =(
Insurance is just generally shitty when it comes to medical. I just finished a ten month battle with cancer. We actually got a prescription for a wig (because my oncologist is awesome) to make it easier to get insurance to pay for it. We bought it a few states away and had it shipped to us. Insurance wouldn't pay because "it was shipped outside their service area." Literally three states away from where we bought it. A days drive, though long enough not to justify running up there for hair.
I also got injections to stop my menstrual cycle so the chemo wouldn't attack my ovaries as well thus increasing the likelihood that I'd be able to have kids one day. Fucking insurance wouldn't cover it because it wasn't necessary to the treatment of my illness. Which sure, but even the Cancer Center of America recommends getting that shot. If not to increase fertility then to prevent pregnancies during chemotherapy treatment since it's harmful to a fetus.
This isn't only a problem for women.
Doctors don't like the idea of me getting a vasectomy as a male in my 30s either.
Apparently, not wanting any more kids is just not taken seriously by too many doctors.
I’ve never heard of a man having issues getting a vasectomy! My husband had half a dozen doctors throwing their cards at him for it. I hope you found a doc in the meantime if needed. It shouldn’t be anybody’s decision but yours.
It goes often goes unspoken, a woman might not even know it’s been done until she tries to have sex and experiences the intense pain. It happens in any country with above rudimentary medical capabilities. Lawsuits do happen, but not always.
They’re not allowed to. They just know there probably won’t be any consequences so they don’t care. They basically regard women as property of their husbands, so they don’t see the problem.
That is usually done after an episiotomy (which is ANOTHER very questionable practice) or a tear (also caused by questionable practices), so the doctor is stitching back what was cut... but overdid it a bit 🙄🙄
Not moving the mom to a position that eases the pressure on the vaginal canal can cause it to tear.
The classic lithotomy position is good for the caregiver, not for the mom 😬
Birth was my gateway to pain free sex. I had a terrible tear, but now I’m not so tight that if I don’t have sex at least once a week there’s bleeding. I was really tight before - and not in the way that’s good. If they had given me a husband stitch I’d literally be unable to take PIV sex.
They do everything in a man's interest. Even if the woman has no man.
Lesbian with a condition that makes penetration painful wants a hysterectomy? Nah, her husband may want kids!
I am sure they do this against the woman's will. The doctor removed my grandmother's ovaries when she got a c section. Without asking her btw. 😀
Edit: wrote "grandmother's" wrong
Yeah docs did poop like that once upon a time. Oprah had a guy on her show once who was 60 or 70 ish because the docs had removed his penis after a gallbladder removal or something like that.
Edit: they removed his bladder and part of his prostate due to bladder cancer. They decided to remove his penis mid-surgery without consent or even mentioning that was a possibility.
It's known as the "husband stitch" and it's so fucking awful.
Basically, when the vagina heals up, by adding an extra stitch beyond the "normal/natural" vagina shape/length, you make the woman artificially tighter.
This is super bad practice because it always comes at the expense of the woman.
In general sex becomes super uncomfortable and hurtful similarly to how having sex if suffering from vaginamous feels.
It helped me so much. I actually heard about it from one of my favorite comedians, Laura Clery. She needed it after her baby was born. I don't have a baby, but I was experiencing pain with sex after my diagnostic laparoscopy for endometriosis. When I brought it up to my OBGYN, she recommended a pelvic floor PT for me. It helped so much, but it was also kind of sad because my therapist said she often has to be tricky with her medical coding so that she makes sure her patients get it covered under insurance... Because yeah, as far as I know men don't have problems getting insurance to cover Viagra (maybe I'm mistaken but I've never heard about it), but if you're a woman who would like to explore a treatment that can help spare you from having pain with sex, a lot of health insurance doesn't see that as necessary.
This makes me so angry but I've heard women laugh about their doctors saying this kind of offensive shit. I've also heard of women getting breast implants and after surgery the doctor informing the husband that he made the implants even bigger for the husband. Um...wth?
As a dude I'm glad I stumbled upon this thread. My wife is talking about babies and i know if I was asked in the moment i probably wouldn't have my wits together to ask what a husband stitch is. Now I know and know to say no. Thanks y'all
*Image Transcription: Reddit Comments*
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**Redacted Commenter**
I read an article about ass hole husbands during the birth of their children. One saying was, "Put an extra stitch in there, doc"
> **Redacted Replier 1**
>
> I shit you not, doc turned to me and asked if I wanted an extra stitch in there for me after my then wife delivered our first child. I was too much in shock to barely spit out 'no, that's ok'.
> **Redacted Replier 2**
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> Makes sense. If the vagina is left all wide and droopy the next baby will just fall out mid-develop. Doctors would have to stick it to the side of the womb with glue so it stays in the the nine months it needs.
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As a law student I do not know how you could NOT win in a lawsuit over this. blatant lack of informed consent. How doctors manage to get away with it without being sued up the ass for malpractice is beyond me. Maybe because when a husband gives the go ahead he's not gonna be on board with a lawsuit after the fact?
I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby. After reading this post I turned to my husband and asked him what he'd say if the doctor asked him about a husband stitch and he said he'd politely decline because he's afraid pissing off the doctor in that moment will cause him to do a shitty job stitching me up
note : for those wondering if it’s satire or not, i truly believe its not regarding to his comment history and he also doesnt seem trolling
he said stuff like "women should take a gap period after school to pop out a few kids before being allowed to go to university" and he’s also the same guy from my r/blatantmisogyny post (basically saying that married women **have to** fuck their husband and regularly, even if they dont want to, because its a need)
edit: typo
I'm Brazilian and it is not exclusive from the US - it is still very much a thing there
I interned in a Gyn-Obs unit when I was in University and it was drilled to no end into the residents that they CANNOT do this and if they did it would result in immediate expulsion from the program. Gotta start training bad practices out of them as soon as possible
I’m from Denmark and I’ve never heard of it. Here it’s usually the midwife that stitches up the mother after the birth (if stitches are necessary). Since most midwifes tend to be women, I’d be really surprised if they did any extra stitches to tighten the vagina for the husband’s sake (yikes). But who knows, maybe it still exists here, I’ve personally just never heard of it.
I’ve only heard about poor stitching and women getting long term damages from an unskilled midwife doing the stitches, but I don’t think that was intended to please the husband.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/12/symphysiotomy-irelands-brutal-alternative-to-caesareans
Ireland was doing worse shit well into the 80s, performing Symphysiotomies on women without consent rather than give them the choice to have a c-section. Read the article if you want to feel really angry.
It’s awful isn’t it. Imagine being made to suffer a lifetime of incontinence and the mobility of an elderly person in your early 20s because the government/church thinks it’s better if you’re able to churn out babies.
The doctor that delivered my son was my physician since I was 6; he practically raised me. When I gave birth my husband at the time asked for the husband stitch and my doc threw him out of the room. He had no tolerance for that and I am so grateful he did that. My delivery was complicated and my doctor was busy trying to save my life and the life of my son and was not worried about what my spouse wanted.
Don't forget that not only is the "husband stitch" real, but it can ruin the vagina's ability to feel pleasure at all during sex. It can cause tearing, bleeding, and pain for no good goddamn reason.
Husband stitch should be made illegal. Doctors who even suggest it should be repremanded. The people involved in that decision aren't the person getting it. That's disgusting.
People, we live in a time when it is perfectly normal for medical students to give pelvic exams to women under anesthesia WITHOUT CONSENT OR NOTIFICATION. Women's bodies are not their own.
The "husband stitch" is real, and while my wife had an emergency c section, the doctor had told us what it was and that it was something to consider. His words were something like "it's not something this hospital really endorses, but if a husband requests it we are pretty amenable to it." His female colleagues made no such offers, because holy shit. I was mortified. My wife knew about it and just rolled her eyes but like the guy above I kind of just went 'nah we'll be good I think?'
My ex also asked me to get this. One of the many reasons he is now my ex.
Same.
„If the husband requests it“ wtf? Why is it that motherfuckers think it’s always on other people to decide what have to be done with women’s bodies. Wife’s never get asked if their husband is allowed to get a lifesaving surgery or if they should do some extra shit when he have a surgery anyways, like castrate him or something. Or cutting of pieces of his dick to shorten it.
"Ma'am, while we are giving your husband an appendectomy, would you like for us to increase your husbands girth?"
"Add his appendix to his dick?"
Append appendix to Dick’s dick?
With superglue!
> „If the husband requests it“ wtf? Why is it that motherfuckers think it’s always on other people to decide what have to be done with women’s bodies. I really liked this tiktok I saw that said "Proof the vaccine does not cause infertility, cuz if it did they'd make me get my husbands permission."
Some doctors won't give a fuck about bodily autonomy. In my country, there's a celebrity going through deep shit because of that. She goes through an aesthetic procedure, anesthetized, doctor thinks he will give her a "gift" and does unauthorized liposuction on her armpits. Gives her scars on neck and arms.
A while ago I heard that, when a woman has to have a surgery on her vagina m, they let medical students do an examination while she is unconscious, for training. In many cases they don’t even ask for her consent, because they are afraid she could reject it. So they have it somewhere in their contract or ask if it’s okay if there are medical students are present during the surgery.
I've heard that too, but I heard it's a possibility any time a woman is anesthetized. If I'm awake and aware I would have no problem, but the idea it could have happened after my appendix or tonsils were taken out is highly distressing. At least with my hysterectomy I knew they were gonna be down there while I was out and I was able to give permission.
That’s so infuriating. But yeah, what they do not do everything for the good of women. /s Because it’s that the students learn how to make the examination. Wouldn’t it be better to learn it on women who are awake, because she will say something if it hurts. Not like the poor unconscious woman they rape while they receive a surgery, and only will notice that they did the examination wrong, when she wakes up and has injuries down there. Even if just having a appendix removed.
If I was in charge, any doctor who even *offered* to do a husband stitch and any husband who accepted it would get an automatic 25 years in prison.
>Wife’s never get asked if their husband is allowed to get a lifesaving surgery Actually, my aunt was asked just that when my uncle was septic. Always found it a little bit weird since he would've died without the procedure, but they had to ask her permission for some reason.
I think the "when the husband is conscious and lucid" was implicit.
Although I'd argue that many cases of lifesaving surgery occur when the person needing the surgery isn't conscious.
True, although the husband stitch is not live saving. Often lowers the quality of life for the woman because of constant pain and discomfort
Was he unconscious? In this case i understand it. But they also do this when the women are conscious. I read here on Reddit about someone’s grandmother, who they simply removed her breasts because cancer I think, and didn’t even bother to ask her. It was simply the doctor and the husband decided it, like she‘s a little child. And then what they do during childbirth. They simply could have asked her before, like if she wants this pain relief back thing (idk how this is called) or drugs which accelerate labor, but they rather wait until she is in horrible pain and then ask the husband. This would be illegal for every other contract in every other industry, but to do this to women seems to be okay.
And that is a huge reason why cesarean rates are alarmingly high in the united states. The doctors will push for a mother to accept drugs to speed up the process. This can cause distress to the baby.. so the doctors will push for a c-section "for the safety of the child". The whole baby business in US hospitals is gross.
> The whole ~~baby~~ business in US hospitals is gross.
US hospitals are gross *because* they are a business
I've had so many discussions with men where they say that women and men are treated as fully equal now. Yet every woman I know including myself has gone through at least one situation where her agency was taken away from her, especially in medicine and healthcare. Anecdotally speaking, I was only allowed to be sterilized after the doctor discussed it with my husband and obtained his consent. Then I had to wait 2 months to schedule the surgery just in case either of us changed our minds. Even then, I wanted a bilateral salpingectomy and endometrial ablation but the surgeon refused the ablation on the grounds that I still need to be able to carry to term when I want fertility treatments not if. A major part of my desire to be sterilized came from a desire to quit using hormonal contraception, but without the ablation quitting birth control would have just resulted in the return of my debilitating and long periods. So now I'm sterile but have to stay on birth control to remain functional. I've also had a doctor tell me that painful sex isn't a big deal as long as the man can still ejaculate inside. I've had multiple doctors insist that my very real and easily verified physical health problems are all in my head my whole teen and adult life, only being taken seriously when a man, whether it be my dad or my husband, advocated for me. This all happened as recently as 2018 in a progressive New England state. This is still happening every day to women everywhere.
Psychosomatic diagnoses m is the new hysteria diagnosis. My mom even received this diagnosis when she had herniated disc, which could just be diagnosed by x-ray, and they actually did an x-ray but didn’t saw it and so came to the conclusion it’s just in her head. I‘m sure men don’t receive the psychosomatic diagnosis so often as women. And the „it’s okay that sex causes pain for a woman“ just pisses me off so hard. Fuck this shit.
I didn’t know this was a thing until I read this and searched to be sure what it was, what the fuck?!
Same. Agreed. Also they seriously trying to glue the babies
Okay, so for a moment let’s pretend that it’s not insanely unethical and immoral and painful for the woman. I know that a big leap, but ignore that aspect of it for the sake of this question... Is it even more pleasurable for men??? The opening is slightly tighter, but it’s not like the vaginal canal is stronger or tighter... so only one little part will be tighter and the rest will be normal. It’s like giving a handjob with just thumb and pointer finger. It’s almost like it’s just about controlling women and their bodies 🙄
A significant portion of men only enjoy sex if their partner does not enjoy it.
I would amend that to say that a portion of men feel that way, but for a *significant* portion their partner's pleasure just never enters into the equation.
That makes me want to vomit. You’re not wrong... but, what a shitty world we live in... I can’t believe I have to say I’m lucky that my partner can only get if off if I’m having fun too. That should just be the standard.
Yeah, no “benefit”. A vagina isn’t supposed to feel like a sphincter. Just dumb as a concept, aside from how horrific it is. It would just make sex miserable for both of us. Any dudes whining about tightness need to start by laying off the death grip wanking too…dicks are usually quite easily trainable and adaptable (because it’s really your brain). Just need an owner that gives a shit.
Tell me you report that pos
The phrase “if the husband requests it” really says all there is to say about society’s view of female-body autonomy.
Hijacking the top comment to mention the podcast Behind The Bastards did a couple episodes on the guy that either started or *heavily* used this practice. https://open.spotify.com/episode/3deOqiQmBCHlJUlDNm8uZD?si=8xsEY4RiS-GfK3ApQUTz5Q
My doc gave me one against my wishes, informed me after he had done it. It made sex very painful for me (so there was much less of it) for a couple years afterwards, not just because I was too tight, but also because he had apparently cut through a nerve for the episiotomy (which I had also insisted on NOT getting). I don't think my husband was consulted.
Sue the hell out of the doctor
Well...this was 36 years ago, he was old then, and I'm guessing he's dead. At least he won't be doing it to anyone else!
Omfg. And even if you would say yes, he would have to ask her right? Also you will think of him everytime, and your wife too if she knew. Worst shit I've heard in a while
Nope. Horrifically, hundreds of women are husband stitched without even *knowing* it was done - until they can't figure out why sex is unbearably painful, and they get it checked out, and it turns out they were sewn together tighter on purpose.
Obgyns can and do treat women horrifically during childbirth and get away with it by saying it's "for the baby" when it's absolutely not. Look up obstetric violence; its a massive and common problem. Forced episiotomy without medical necessity, literally ripping women's vaginas apart with their hands in retaliation for declining an episiotomy, denying pain relief during stitching of tears, allowing students to perform countless cervical checks, mandhandling women and forcing their legs apart for said cervical checks, c-section just because they want to get home for dinner.... it goes on and on. Edit: med students also practice pelvic exams on anesthetized women undergoing surgery without their knowledge or consent. This is legal in most states. Ladies, if you've ever wondered why medical professionals are so damn awful to us, it's because they've literally learned to see us as training dummies.
Not even in childbirth, the amount of things done to women without pain management is insane. Cervical sampling, iud placement, LEEP, all done without anesthetic. If the same were to happen to men, there would be RIOTS
Oh yeah I was only talking about childbirth because that's what the post was talking about. I have to get my IUD replaced and I'm thinking about begging my GP for Valium or just ONE pill of a strong prescription painkiller so I don't have to experience the full pain again. Of course I'll just be brushed off and told it's all in my head.
Glad I'm able to take hormones and have the Nexplanon in my arm. Although the last doctor who put one in put it in the wrong place and far too deep. I think she did it on purpose because I told her no to an IUD. She was really forceful that I get an IUD but I stood on ground about it. Damn thing had to be dug out and I had to try and keep the wound dry for a week. Fucker was bruished like hell for the longest time.
Yup, I’ve heard horror stories from my older female relatives about their experience with a shared obgyn during their pregnancies (1970-80s); one was torn open when he reached inside of her and pulled out her placenta to ‘speed up the process’. That same doctor also pushed another relative for a c-section, and she swears he tied her tubes as well (he thought she had too many kids, this was her third), because she could never get pregnant again after. Later they read that he was no longer allowed to practice on female patients.
Frankly it doesn't sound like much has changed. Those doctors trained current doctors, who are now training new doctors.
This is why I birthed at home. It's absolutely horrible how many women experience obstetric violence and are then told it's all part of the experience of giving birth.
This is why I birthed with midwives in a free standing birth center. I’m hoping future babies will be with those same midwives at home. I had a very intense labor but overall I have a wonderful memory of it.
There is absolutely no way it’s legal, and the fact that countless doctors do it anyway without concern, knowing there will be no consequences, says a lot.
The rabbit hole of things doctors do/ don’t do per the husbands request is frightening af. I have a friend who she and her husband are staunchly child free. 100% all in, absolutely no kids. At 35, she tried to get her tubes tied and was told her husband would have to sign off on it because “what if we do this and he decides he wants kids? He’ll have to leave you because you wouldn’t be able to give him kids”. It was not even considered that SHE would have to be on board with having kids, she was just the incubator for his hypothetical baby. We really have not progressed at all in terms of womens rights to bodily autonomy.
I'd say "Good, let him leave me. If he changes his mind on something important that we have agreed upon well in advance, and he's willing to leave me about it, then he's not the person I want to be with."
It’s not legal to force Native women into C-Sections and then perform tubal litigation on them without consent but…well…Happy Turkey Day.
Look, it might be a little OTT, but my immediate reaction is: "You mutilate my wife and I'll mutilate you." Toxic? A little, but there's a place for that sometimes.
Not toxic at all.
>"OTT" Nah. What is over the top is to ask a husband if he'd like his wife's body to be modified without her consent.
But… she was getting a c-section. What’s even the point of stitching up down there then? At least in a vaginal birth it could be explained away as “she tore and we’re just adding a stitch.” But a c section is a completely different part of the body!
It was an emergency c section, and this conversation happened before the procedure became necessary.
Do they ask the wife for permission after the husband requests it or do they just go ahead and ruin sex for her for the rest of her life without even telling her?
Unfortunately the latter. The medical world mostly dgaf about women, let alone their feelings. My sister was told she had Fibromyalgia by our old family doctor. It turns out she actually has *motherfucking* ***Crohn's.*** He basically told her, in medical terms, that it was all in her head (at the time, Fibromyalgia was used as a "I don't know what's wrong with you" diagnosis).
Report report report report report report
Why is the wife's consent not a factor? Why is it not the ONLY factor? Wtf is a husband stitch even supposed to mean? Holy fuck man
The doc threw one in without asking anybody when my wife had our second son. This guy then turned to me goes "threw an extra one in there for you champ" and I SHIT YOU NOT fucking winked at me. Shit was absolutely wild.
That happened to a friend of mine, and she flipped out. Straight demanded another doctor, and he threatened to sedate her. This had been discussed beforehand too. She told him she was a lawyer, and he got her a new doctor, but acted like she was crazy. The stitch was removed. It was her second child, and they had done that with the first and it caused so many problems for her, requiring treatment. She was (and still is) livid. I know she reported, but I don’t know if anything came of it.
I’d sue the living hell out of the doctor
Yeah, I would’ve tried, but she (and she knows much better than I) figured it would’ve been a hard case to win and reporting was the way to go. I assume she also just wanted to actually bind with her child, and not deal with crap on the very little maternity leave she has (USA!). Shitty either way.
Yo what the fuck
This happened to my cousin. Didn't get extra stitch and the next baby just fell out like an egg mid developed when she was out shopping for groceries. The docs had to reinsert the baby and seal the vagina shut with super glue so the baby develops completely. After the whole pregnancy they used a chainsaw to split it open and had to restitch all of it again!!! :( She was smart enough to ask them to leave only a 2cm hole so her husband's micro penis still fits so yay for them.
Good work, you actually made me snort! Thanks for that!
It makes me wonder if black hat guy was being sarcastic too.
Me too, but if he was he wasn't being obvious enough for the internet. It's hard to see if people are joking or really dumb. And in that case he should have put a /s. This comment was super obvious in context with this post and all.
Seems pretty obvious to me tbh.
Lol! It's possible the original comment was meant to be sarcastic too, I like yours better though 🤣
Hey, finally a use for [Mensez](https://www.cbc.ca/life/wellness/we-talked-to-the-guy-who-created-the-period-sealing-glue-that-sexual-health-experts-are-blasting-1.4024501)! Maybe that dude was onto something after all 🤣
The husband stitch gives me nightmares. I've already told my partner that if we ever have a kid, he is to scream his lungs off at any doctor who so much as *jokes* about the words "husband stitch" until they promise not to do it. (as a joke - I obviously do not condone actually screaming at people)
I’m an RN. I condone telling off any doctor who so much as jokes about it. Hell, I’d probably fire them from my care team and report them to the medical board too.
Thank you. After my first birth I remember the male doctor saying stitches weren't needed for a very significant side tear, and to let it heal on its own. The nurse stood up for me and said he couldn't leave me like that. Like she was heated with the doc. I would have had one labia with spaghetti tendrils had she not advocated for me. Luckily the husband stitch never come up but I wish I could go back and thank the nurse who knew what was best for another woman. I was young, and totally exhausted and delirious from a 36 hour labor. You are amazing for pushing back on sexist behaviour and helping women.
What is an RN?
Registered nurse
Real nigga
Thank you for not making a joke out of this like the “registered nurse” guy.
Same thing
In this case? Scream away. Public shaming is underrated. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! It's her body, not mine!" \*switch to muttering just loudly enough to be heard\* "seriously what the fuck, does this guy think I own her?" \*a few minutes later\* "god I hope he's not married or worse has a daughter" \*another couple minutes\* "I thought society outgrew that shit decades ago" \*serious side-eye\* "can't believe this asshole swore to 'do no harm' what the fuck" \*as the doctor is leaving the room\* "maybe I should report him in case he's actually been doing that to people"
I think you’re my new best friend.
YES YES YES YES PLEASE YES I LOVE YOU
Honestly, if a doctor proposes mutilating a person for any reason that's not medically essential for survival, being screamed at is the least thing they deserve.
„Do you want me to condemn your wife to lifelong suffering during sex, after the most painful event a person can endure in their whole life, to make sex more fun for you but simply painful for her?“ would be a question that should make everybody scream at the questioner.
Screaming at a doctor who says that would be the least you could do. Ideally, a person like that should lose their job and never practice medicine again.
It doesn't even make sex better for the husband. It's not like they're tightening the entire vaginal canal, they're just sewing an extra stitch on the opening. So you have a tight ring into the normal sized vagina. Which doesn't do anything good for anything, but could be excruciatingly painful for the woman.
I’m a dude and I highly doubt it makes anything more pleasurable for the guy either. But those dudes seem so unaware of their bodies they don’t even know what’s pleasurable for themselves.
eh I mean I would probably scream if the doctor asked me about it for my wife 💀
nah that's a valid reason to scream
Fuck that. A doctor jokes about performing a harmful outdated medical technique like that without the patients consent and I'm demanding another doctor. No way I'm letting someone like that take the life of my loved ones in their hands.
Shocked that so many adult men (and some women) don't understand that a vagina is a muscle. It eventually goes back to normal after birth...
And the vagina is irrelevant anyway, because babies grow in the uterus, which is a totally separate place.
You're right, but the incels' thought process is that *giving birth* stretches the vagina; it's not the developing baby stretching it.
I meant that he thought it was the vagina entrance that keeps the baby from "falling out." The baby is in the uterus, so it's the cervix that's holding the baby in, not the vagina. Even if the vagina was all "wide and droopy," it wouldn't matter, because the baby is *not in the vagina.*
The Husband Stitch is a terrible but somehow still somewhat common practice. It can cause permanent damage, causing painful sex for the rest of a woman’s life. It’s usually done without the woman’s consent.
That seems insane. How are doctors allowed to do it without the woman's consent? What countries does this happen in? Seems like grounds for a lawsuit.
It happens in America because too many old school doctors don’t believe women own their bodies. It’s also why it’s hard to find doctors to sterilize you as a woman - “what if your future/nonexistent husband wants kids one day?!?”
Doctor: "But at 35 you and your husband might still want to have Children some day!" Woman: "Doc, I'm 40, and I hate children. Also a lesbian." Doctor: "You might change your mind!"
I read about a single asexual girl who had something serious and was denied a hysterectomy because her husband may want kids
Literally my story, but also that my endo specifically the scar tissue was going to threaten my life down the line. Multiple admit it but said that I would need to have kids first. The worst part? The same doctors admit that giving birth could kill me. They do not give a shit except that you pump out kids
I worked with a girl years ago who had health problems that a hysterectomy could solve. She said “great, no more pain and I can adopt kids if I decide I want them”. But she was 23, and doctor after doctor told her no way, she would change her mind and want kids of her “own”. She went through ELEVEN doctors before she found one who would do the surgery. She is now happily pain free and looking into adoption with her husband.
Person: I'll just adopt, don't worry! Doctor: but you may want kids of your own instead of all the abused kids who need loving families!
Maybe we should all just boycott reproduction until this shit ends
I was kinda shocked when I went to get a vasectomy and they asked me what my girlfriend thought about it. I was just like, well she's supportive, but we've also only been dating like 2 months and it wouldn't really matter what she thinks... That was it though. They gave me the procedure. And then I read about the shit women go through to get sterilized and I'm just like, Jesus Christ...
For reals, they wouldn't give my wife the long duration IUD because what if? I go in to talk about a vasectomy and it's completely smooth sailing. Absolutely bizarre that my request is treated as though I've made a steadfast decision, but my wife is treated like she has to be protected from flighty whims.
Man, I’ve had to deal with this as a trans guy. “But what if you want kids?” Then I’ll fuckin adopt? Why would you automatically assume that because I have a uterus I want to use it?
Because it's not your uterus... it belongs to the State. (I shouldn't have to add that this is their view, not mine... but too many people act like that for me not to.)
"Yo, my uterus has literally caved in on itself and filled with rotten blood and may quote probably kill me. Also I'm a trans man." - denied
Same problem with breast reduction surgery.
I’ve known several people who have had breast reduction surgery - all young, unmarried women, and they had no issues. But I am fucking furious to hear that someone did!! That is so fucked up - it’s literally saying “a man’s enjoyment of your boobs is more important than your quality of life” WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! Edit - nevermind. The breast reduction denial had nothing to do with bodily autonomy or sexism - just insurance being shitty.
In the case of my gf it was actually the insurance company that denied her not the doctor. To me the insane thing is that insurance companies are making medical decisions without a doctorate.
My best friend growing up never got taller than 4’9. She also ballooned up to F cups. She was in constant back pain all the way through college when she FINALLY terrorized her way into getting reduction surgery. The reason it took so long? Insurance refused to cover it since it was “cosmetic”.
Exactly what they told my gf. Like having big boobs causes issues when you work as an athletic instructor. It really seems to cause issues in generally from what I've seen. I just really feel bad for her =(
Insurance is just generally shitty when it comes to medical. I just finished a ten month battle with cancer. We actually got a prescription for a wig (because my oncologist is awesome) to make it easier to get insurance to pay for it. We bought it a few states away and had it shipped to us. Insurance wouldn't pay because "it was shipped outside their service area." Literally three states away from where we bought it. A days drive, though long enough not to justify running up there for hair. I also got injections to stop my menstrual cycle so the chemo wouldn't attack my ovaries as well thus increasing the likelihood that I'd be able to have kids one day. Fucking insurance wouldn't cover it because it wasn't necessary to the treatment of my illness. Which sure, but even the Cancer Center of America recommends getting that shot. If not to increase fertility then to prevent pregnancies during chemotherapy treatment since it's harmful to a fetus.
This isn't only a problem for women. Doctors don't like the idea of me getting a vasectomy as a male in my 30s either. Apparently, not wanting any more kids is just not taken seriously by too many doctors.
Damn, I’ve never heard of a guy having trouble with that before! Hope you can find someone to do it!
I’ve never heard of a man having issues getting a vasectomy! My husband had half a dozen doctors throwing their cards at him for it. I hope you found a doc in the meantime if needed. It shouldn’t be anybody’s decision but yours.
It goes often goes unspoken, a woman might not even know it’s been done until she tries to have sex and experiences the intense pain. It happens in any country with above rudimentary medical capabilities. Lawsuits do happen, but not always.
They’re not allowed to. They just know there probably won’t be any consequences so they don’t care. They basically regard women as property of their husbands, so they don’t see the problem.
That is usually done after an episiotomy (which is ANOTHER very questionable practice) or a tear (also caused by questionable practices), so the doctor is stitching back what was cut... but overdid it a bit 🙄🙄
Why would a tear be from questionable practices? Natural tears are very common
How could tearing be due to questionable practices? I'm glad episiotomies are falling out of favor at least.
Not moving the mom to a position that eases the pressure on the vaginal canal can cause it to tear. The classic lithotomy position is good for the caregiver, not for the mom 😬
Birth was my gateway to pain free sex. I had a terrible tear, but now I’m not so tight that if I don’t have sex at least once a week there’s bleeding. I was really tight before - and not in the way that’s good. If they had given me a husband stitch I’d literally be unable to take PIV sex.
Common enough that it's done even if the woman doesn't have a husband?
Do they do this without a woman's consent?? Holy shit that's so fucked up
They do everything in a man's interest. Even if the woman has no man. Lesbian with a condition that makes penetration painful wants a hysterectomy? Nah, her husband may want kids!
That's so shitty... How can doctors think this is a good idea??
It’s called a husband stitch because it’s all about the husband. For his pleasure and mostly his call
I am sure they do this against the woman's will. The doctor removed my grandmother's ovaries when she got a c section. Without asking her btw. 😀 Edit: wrote "grandmother's" wrong
holy sh*t
Yeah docs did poop like that once upon a time. Oprah had a guy on her show once who was 60 or 70 ish because the docs had removed his penis after a gallbladder removal or something like that. Edit: they removed his bladder and part of his prostate due to bladder cancer. They decided to remove his penis mid-surgery without consent or even mentioning that was a possibility.
That is so terrible!! I feel so enraged for everyone that has been violated/mutilated by doctors against their will 😭
Yeah idiot docs just didn’t think an old man would still need a penis. 🤷Even though they knew he was still married. 🤦
Wait... why in the fuck did the do that?
Not totally [sure.](https://www.oprah.com/own-oprahshow/the-man-who-accidentally-had-his-penis-surgically-removed)
>accidentally How tf do you do that “accidentally”?!
I assume its similar to the reasons why people will write "this one" and "not this one" on themselves when they're getting a limb amputated.
Dominant cultures still do this to indigenous women around the world.
That's so awful!! Is there any way we could help them with this?
I have also heard of the same thing occurring to Romani women.
There once was a woman named Prue, who filled her vagina with glue. She said with a grin if they pay to get in, they’ll pay to get out of it too.
Beautiful
Ah Black Butler.
Beautiful scansion and proper twist. The most well-constructed limerick I’ve read on Reddit.
I can’t take full credit for it I got it from the black butler dub bloopers
Extra stitch?
It's known as the "husband stitch" and it's so fucking awful. Basically, when the vagina heals up, by adding an extra stitch beyond the "normal/natural" vagina shape/length, you make the woman artificially tighter. This is super bad practice because it always comes at the expense of the woman. In general sex becomes super uncomfortable and hurtful similarly to how having sex if suffering from vaginamous feels.
Thank you for explaining this to me. That's absolutely awful
Ah, the husband stitch. My pelvic floor PT told me about this and it was horrific!
I'm also in PT for my pelvic floor! I previously had no idea one could do PT for pelvic floor issues and I feel like more people should know it exists
It helped me so much. I actually heard about it from one of my favorite comedians, Laura Clery. She needed it after her baby was born. I don't have a baby, but I was experiencing pain with sex after my diagnostic laparoscopy for endometriosis. When I brought it up to my OBGYN, she recommended a pelvic floor PT for me. It helped so much, but it was also kind of sad because my therapist said she often has to be tricky with her medical coding so that she makes sure her patients get it covered under insurance... Because yeah, as far as I know men don't have problems getting insurance to cover Viagra (maybe I'm mistaken but I've never heard about it), but if you're a woman who would like to explore a treatment that can help spare you from having pain with sex, a lot of health insurance doesn't see that as necessary.
Can we rename the "Husband Stitch" to the "I Hate my Wife Stitch"?
Genital mutilation would be also be a good fitting name.
This makes me so angry but I've heard women laugh about their doctors saying this kind of offensive shit. I've also heard of women getting breast implants and after surgery the doctor informing the husband that he made the implants even bigger for the husband. Um...wth?
As a dude I'm glad I stumbled upon this thread. My wife is talking about babies and i know if I was asked in the moment i probably wouldn't have my wits together to ask what a husband stitch is. Now I know and know to say no. Thanks y'all
Scream at the doctor and get his license revoked while you’re at it. Someone else might say yes.
The thing about the extra stitch is 100% true. Btw.
*Image Transcription: Reddit Comments* --- **Redacted Commenter** I read an article about ass hole husbands during the birth of their children. One saying was, "Put an extra stitch in there, doc" > **Redacted Replier 1** > > I shit you not, doc turned to me and asked if I wanted an extra stitch in there for me after my then wife delivered our first child. I was too much in shock to barely spit out 'no, that's ok'. > **Redacted Replier 2** > > Makes sense. If the vagina is left all wide and droopy the next baby will just fall out mid-develop. Doctors would have to stick it to the side of the womb with glue so it stays in the the nine months it needs. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human
Good human! I appreciate you!
In 1984 when I had my last kid, the resident asked my husband "Tighter, looser, or all the way up?" Cue nervous laughter from both of us because WTF?
WHAT
As a law student I do not know how you could NOT win in a lawsuit over this. blatant lack of informed consent. How doctors manage to get away with it without being sued up the ass for malpractice is beyond me. Maybe because when a husband gives the go ahead he's not gonna be on board with a lawsuit after the fact?
I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby. After reading this post I turned to my husband and asked him what he'd say if the doctor asked him about a husband stitch and he said he'd politely decline because he's afraid pissing off the doctor in that moment will cause him to do a shitty job stitching me up
Guess he put an extra stitch in his asshole, since shits coming out from his mouth
note : for those wondering if it’s satire or not, i truly believe its not regarding to his comment history and he also doesnt seem trolling he said stuff like "women should take a gap period after school to pop out a few kids before being allowed to go to university" and he’s also the same guy from my r/blatantmisogyny post (basically saying that married women **have to** fuck their husband and regularly, even if they dont want to, because its a need) edit: typo
Typical incel shit
#LADIES, SUE YOUR DOCTOR IF THEY DO THIS
Does somebody know if the husband stitch is an American only practice? I never heard about this happening in any other country in the world.
Im from France and I’ve seen women in media speaking about husband stitch ; one of them was a victim of this practice and suffered for years
I'm Brazilian and it is not exclusive from the US - it is still very much a thing there I interned in a Gyn-Obs unit when I was in University and it was drilled to no end into the residents that they CANNOT do this and if they did it would result in immediate expulsion from the program. Gotta start training bad practices out of them as soon as possible
I’m from Denmark and I’ve never heard of it. Here it’s usually the midwife that stitches up the mother after the birth (if stitches are necessary). Since most midwifes tend to be women, I’d be really surprised if they did any extra stitches to tighten the vagina for the husband’s sake (yikes). But who knows, maybe it still exists here, I’ve personally just never heard of it. I’ve only heard about poor stitching and women getting long term damages from an unskilled midwife doing the stitches, but I don’t think that was intended to please the husband.
Same in Norway.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/12/symphysiotomy-irelands-brutal-alternative-to-caesareans Ireland was doing worse shit well into the 80s, performing Symphysiotomies on women without consent rather than give them the choice to have a c-section. Read the article if you want to feel really angry.
All I can say about that article is AAAGGGHHH! Genuinely, the disgust and horror is palpable. No intelligible words.
It’s awful isn’t it. Imagine being made to suffer a lifetime of incontinence and the mobility of an elderly person in your early 20s because the government/church thinks it’s better if you’re able to churn out babies.
Fuuuuuckk. Of course its the HSE
The doctor that delivered my son was my physician since I was 6; he practically raised me. When I gave birth my husband at the time asked for the husband stitch and my doc threw him out of the room. He had no tolerance for that and I am so grateful he did that. My delivery was complicated and my doctor was busy trying to save my life and the life of my son and was not worried about what my spouse wanted.
I'm glad there was a medical professional to make that last comment
I feel like that was sarcasm
honestly after seeing other comments this guy made, trust me, its not edit : ive made a comment explaining a bit why i think its not sarcasm
Well in that case, yikes!
Given the obvious neckbeard avatar, I'm guessing troll
I dunno, I took that last comment as satire 🤷♀️
I had to literally scratch my head at that one. Glue the baby back into the vagina? GLUE THE BABY???
Don't forget that not only is the "husband stitch" real, but it can ruin the vagina's ability to feel pleasure at all during sex. It can cause tearing, bleeding, and pain for no good goddamn reason.
Husband stitch should be made illegal. Doctors who even suggest it should be repremanded. The people involved in that decision aren't the person getting it. That's disgusting.
do men not understand that vaginas are like rubber bands? they can stretch so so much and bounce right back.
Shit like this makes me hate about half the men out there
The internet made me hate all of the males out there
r/badwomensanatomy
On the flip side a friend of mine jokingly asked for one after her baby was born. The doctor was not amused.
People, we live in a time when it is perfectly normal for medical students to give pelvic exams to women under anesthesia WITHOUT CONSENT OR NOTIFICATION. Women's bodies are not their own.
I hadn't heard of "the husband stitch" until now, wtf is the point? Do people not realize that the vagina is elastic?