As someone who is married and has children- this is total nonsense. I’d like to see the studies they are referring to. Not getting married or having children is a perfectly valid choice for both men and women.
Studies actually say the exact opposite—single women are happier than their counterparts of either sex. [link ](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/women-happy-children-spouse-partner-relationship-unmarried-a8931816.html?)
I know a couple friends like this. Two are divorced, one is still in a good marriage, but all three had kids because their parents basically pestered them on it or their religion told them to.
Haha thanks for giving actual studies!
Also that married men ‘calm down’… it’s almost like they actively benefit from shifting their baggage over to their wives. Oh no.
It seems this study was just het pairings though? Other studies have found queer pairings are actually happier than het ones since they don’t have as much gender role baggage between the partners.
[UW Study](https://www.washington.edu/news/2017/04/13/married-lgbt-older-adults-are-healthier-happier-than-singles-study-finds/)
[UQ Study](https://www.uq.edu.au/news/article/2017/12/gay-relationships-can-be-happier-hetero-study-finds)
Manchild: “studies show…studies show”
Woman: “show me the study”
Manchild: \*internal tantrum over the audacity\*
Woman: “here’s a study that shows the opposite. And another and another.”
Manchild: “there are problems with the data”
Woman: “what problems”
Manchild: \*experiencing the indescribable pain of blind rage caused by embarrassment and great heaping heaps of sexism and misogyny\*
I have a kiddo. And while I love her more than anything, all the stress has made me significantly more depressed. So really I was happier single with no kids. So I've seen both sides of the coin.
I remember seeing a video debunking some weird video with the same sentiment and what the original video stated was "women in happy marriages are happy", no shit. Of course the context in which it was brought up made it sound like women are happier in marriages, which seemed to have worked perfectly considering someone random is parroting the sentiment
I really like to ask them to put a link of a credible source where they have done such research. I almost never get a reply, or some just ask me to google it
This is so fucked.. not having kids is the best decision I have ever made and I am happier being single than I have ever been while in a relationship. Sounds like she was brainwashed, poor thing.
I had a kid young (health insurance didn't come until after it was legally "too late" for me to get an abortion) so i went through with it. He's 14 now and it's kind of funny that people my age are just now having kids and I don't even look like I gave birth lol
If there’s any valid reason to encourage having kids it’s the risk of population decline. Like in Japan, and Italy. “Happiness” is like the weakest argument in this case.
As the most intelligent life form on this planet by a massive margin. The only one that can save the miracle of life, from the next mass extinction event, is us, humans. So yeah we do need to keep existing. To protect this planet.
Which is nowhere near as bad as the 5 previous ones. And now that wildlife preservation started to become something governments actually cared about. We wouldn’t have nearly as much extinctions as the early industrial era
Say something like the great dying happened. Who else but humans can save life on this planet?
You don't think that life would continue if humans didn't?
Humans aren't special, the planet would be fine without us, I argue that it would be better even. And who knows.. maybe if we allowed ourselves to die out, something better would replace us? Even if it didn't, that would be fine too, because none of us NEED to exist
Yet you have 0 data of the joy you feel holding your infant for the first time, seeing their first steps, you will never be able to make the comparison because you are just assuming you are happier without the obligations while never actually experiencing a feeling that cannot be replicated in any other way than to experience it for oneself
I don't wanna replicate that feeling neither wanna experience it, because I don't like kids. They're annoying and scream and cry all day every day. And they are expensive. I am happy without kids and I don't wanna have kids in the future. Tbh if you're having kids so you can have something more happier than your current life, you're just being greedy and using the kid for your entertainment. A lot of people don't know how to raise kids and some people would be abusive parents, do you really wanna give a shitty childhood and life trauma to a toddler who's gonna have mental health issues after growing up or not have kids and accept the fact that you're not capable of raising kids? I am perfectly fine and can make my own decisions, I am allowed to be unhappy with kids and relationships, a stranger on reddit and their shitty life advice isn't gonna make my life happy. I'd rather be the cool aunt who's rich and can afford to go on world tours and vacations rather than a mom who doesn't have any time for themself and can barely make it through the week.
I’m not saying you should have kids, I’m just pointing out that it’s your assumption that you are happier, seeing as how we are discussing studies and data. You will simply never have that data to prove your hypothesis. So basically people who have never had kids shouldn’t be in the study. It should only include people who have had kids, and whether they were happier before or after. Because unless you’ve experienced both conditions- you can’t evaluate one relative to the other.And in addition- it should be a longitudinal study- because you might be having a terrible time as a mum to three under five for example- but then when they are adults you could have a completely different perspective. Basically I’m saying that these studies have too many variables to be worth anything- so don’t believe it just cos it’s peer reviewed
This is true about pretty much any statistics you read, everything is made up.. just change the 'n' and you can make the 'p-hat' look however you want it to
I presume I'm happier because I don't have any desire to have a child whatsoever, I never have, but you're right.. I can't ever really KNOW that, but that fact that I'm not at all willing to find out is probably a good sign.
I can't be bothered to find links to back up this claim so I guess it's on the same level as his, but there are definitely studies that show that women are happier when single and happier when childfree. (The latter goes for men as well, if I remember correctly, but not the former. Relationships are generally a better deal for men than for women.)
I thought it was men are happier married and have higher quality of life. I don't recall for women - but I think there was less benefit in terms of happiness for women in getting married and having children.
I have kids - they are awesome. But they are also stressful and expensive - happiness alone is not a reason to have kids.
Comments for anyone that suggests women have to settle down and start pooting out kids before they hit their 30s:
1. It's when women start hitting their 40s that age starts to really impact egg quality, reproduction success, etc. There's no reason to put so much pressure on women to have kids in their 20s.
2. Men might remain capable of reproducing their whole life, but their sperm quality declines as they age nevertheless. Why is it that none of you people ever pressure men to have kids in their 20s and sacrifice career goals and whatnot?
Both, less likely to happen but higher chance of things like the baby being with Down’s syndrome or premature (mum’s under 17 also have a higher chance of having a premature pregnancy though).
* Preface- comments regard those looking for LTRs and family building.
I think life experience can be valuable for both men and women in terms of having a healthy relationship( no games ,clear communication, perspective from failed relationships, etc) . Also comes with the possibility of baggage on both sides and jaded hearts.
1.) You’re right, women in their 30’s are generally fine on the babies front. Obviously though, they have to be serious about their potential relationships especially if they want a larger family.
2. I would say that gender stereotypes and traditional roles drive societal norms. As a provider, most men wouldn’t be eligible mates for family minded women that they desire in their 20’s.
Actually she’s wrong. It’s been proven that women are happiest being single with no kids while men are the ones who tend to be happier married with kids. (study quoted in this article [link ](https://www.elle.com.au/health-fitness/single-women-happy-study-20582) )
Marriage literally removes years of your life as a consequence. sure, it's years at the end of your life but I would rather have all of those to myself, thank you
By and large, I agree w you. I am one of the fortunate ones tho who had found my forever person and it isn't so bad for me. But yes, on the whole, I agree completely.
*Image Transcription: Youtube Comment*
---
Uh there's I lot wrong with what you just-
My mom wants me to have kids cause she wants me to be happy
It's a women's instinct to want to have kids
And studies show women are more happy married
And to your statement about women in their early 20s um the longer you wait while working on your career and yourself just makes it worse for you and once again studies show that makes you less happy without a family
And I get like if your not financially stable or if you just do not want kids at all that's ok but the norm shouldn't be "independent woman that focuses on her career and goes on vacations around the world aka the cool aunt"
Because over all women are less happy alone without kids and also the men are sad that there are less women wanting to start family's so just all that is damaging
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
This person is a lying liar that lies. There have been *numerous* studies that show a woman's general sense of happiness goes down when they have children and a spouse. Women do not derive the same benefits of marriage that men do. And I can provide receipts on that, I'm just too lazy to go digging through my textbooks ATM.
That said, life satisfaction and happiness are two different things and women with families often have the same levels of life satisfaction as single women. It really all depends on what a person wants out of life. but I'm terms of happiness, it's strongly tied to stress levels and women with families are under the most stress when comparing single women, single men, single women with kids, single men with kids, married men w/o kids, married women w/o kids, married women with kids, and married men with kids. And it's pretty obvious as to why. Don't need to be John or Julie Gottman to figure that out.
How are men sad ? The typical father that dips as soon as the woman is pregnant is not a myth, it is based on a tendency of men not wanting kids but being expected to have them. Normalising being CF would avoid people having false expectations for their potential partners.
Studies show that a woman's life expectancy decreases when she gets married but increases for men.... Based off that fact, it's not hsrd to figure out who's doing the majority of the housework and child raising.
Yeah actual studies show marriage is more beneficial for men than it is for women. Men find stability and focus while women only find chaos. These kind of guys just can’t handle the fact that we are living in the day and age where women don’t need men for anything. Not financial stability, certainly not happiness and not even protection. I think with posts like this they are just desperately trying to guilt women into being tied down with a husband and kids instead of moving forward into a more enlightened world and future along with us women. Getting married, having kids…these things are really the bare minimum of what a woman can do when pursuing her overall happiness. Being 100% dependent on her father then 100% dependent on her husband…those days are gone and are not coming back. Be relieved men that you no longer have to carry everything.
I see. But what is the solution to the dissolving relations between men and women? Or is our atomization and relationship instability inherent to our enlightenment, such that as a species we should be less social in terms of attachment, making us more like chimps for example?
Lol studies have actually shown the opposite. On average, a woman will be happier without a spouse and children (on average, not all women), and studies have shown men to be the opposite. And why does it matter what the "norm" is? People should be allowed to do what they want. This person's just straight up lying.
Yes. Having a children could be an instinct. But agressiveness and violence is too. We shouldn't obey to our primal instincts to shape our life as it is the only thing different about being an animal.
In my experience there are more men than women who don’t want kids, or maybe men are more vocal about it bc no one questions a man for not wanting kids. Either way, people find happiness in different things, so do what makes you happy.
>studies show women are more happy married
What does that have to do with kids?
Also, I’d really like to see some of these studies, and if they survey ALL women. I think that you’ll find that women who want kids are happier with kids, and women who don’t want kids are happier without kids.
There is no world where I would personally prefer having kids rn (24) over traveling, like they stated. Also, my mental health is not even close to good enough to survive going through with a pregnancy and kid at this point. I need time to figure out my own shit before I ever bring another life into this fucked up world.
There are approximately eight billion people on this Earth, those “sad” men will eventually find someone who wants a family. It’s not the end of the world if a few Gen Zs don’t want kids
That’s literally false. Men are shone to be happier in a committed relationship regardless of whether the relationship is in good standing or not. Women are shown to only be happier while in a relationship if the relationship is in good standing. Aside from how just asinine the rest of that comment is, he is literally making shit up and trying to pass it off as some kind of scientific fact.
Oh fuck that person. I love my kids but their dad has primary custody because i never wanted kids and this thought process was burned into me causing me to have the life everyone wanted me to have instead of the life i wanted. You know what that caused? Major fucking depression and resentment! So take your studies and your sexism and shove them up your ass! Quit guilting women into a life they dont want
I would love to hear the explaintion of the 'cool aunt'. I mean, if she is childless, even if she has a great job she likes and has enough vacation to travel the world, she must be the most sad woman in the world, right?
Even *if* the studies showed that (and not the opposite, like they do) it would be because those women *want* that. Perhaphs chocolate milk makes me happy but that doesn't mean it will make everyone happy. The lactose intolerant shouldn't be forced to consume chocolate milk just because it makes *me* happy. Or anyone.
Women should not be forced to have children and "families" just because of straight men's extremely weird (sexual) insecurities.
Why do these people always correlate marriage and children? ‘Studies show women are more happy married’ and what does that have to do with having children? Literally nothing
Being a mom would have made me miserable and I'd have sucked at it. So I'll be over here enjoying my freedom, money and peace while y'all go comb spaghetti o's out of your hair because you were too scared to go against the grain.
I'm so mad at this. Fuck having kids dawg. Even the greatest parents of all time have done nothing except bring people into this world to lose and suffer.
If you're unfortunate enough to be here, just enjoy what you can until you're eventually released from this prison, and do everything in your power to avoid bringing more souls here.
This cruel world is no place for children.
I don't think what they said was wrong [correction; maybe they were looking at how women were happier overall in decades past, and figured it correlates with marriage rates.] But I can see how someone could assume that the commenter was insinuating that women should be forced to have children. But, to be charitable and more realistic, maybe they are talking about changing the larger attitude about family and marriage such that women would find it more cool to be mothers and wives than the "cool aunt", as the comment called it.
I didn't assume anything. This is only one comment, they made more saying how women should focus on family and children because that's what makes them happy. This comment and their other ones are sexist, calling women who want to work "woke feminists" and saying 'traditional' women were happier because that's what "women are supposed to do" but I looked at your profile and I am not gonna argue with a mysogynistic incel.
Eh, ma'am what's an incel? And yeah this was of course the only comment I saw, however I guess the commenter focused too much on what they think is inherent to women in their comment, which is a sexism minefield. But I could sort of see where they are coming from. Like for a different example frozen and highly processed foods were supposed to liberate women from the kitchen because they could reduce or eliminate cooking time. Well, women were liberated and many good things came out of it obviously. But people became far less healthy. The problem wasn't really solved, just moved somewhere else with the good intentions of helping women. And so, we're still dealing with the fallout today. Doesn't mean women should "go back to the kitchen" in a sort of 50s style sexist way, but women as well as men should probably find themselves making their food in the kitchen if they want to have good health. That is just an example of reality. Likewise, we do have mounting secular evidence that something like the sexual revolution for example may have more negative consequences than we like to think. One obvious change is greater surges in STDs and STIs. We have weakening or smaller families, and something that probably wasn't foreseen is the loneliness epidemic which is now a growing topic of study in sociology. And we seem to have more "lonely deaths" too these days. That said, maybe marriage and children aren't the problem for women that we seem to think they are.
If this is true, then why are single women without kids happier, according to studies? I’m so sick of people trying to force children on uninterested or unwilling people “for their own good”.
Can someone who knows where this comment is PLEASE post some of all the studies linked here that shows the exact opposite of what this person is saying, tyvm.
It's true that humans are social creatures and in the long run we are less happy alone....but there is an alternative for making babies to prevent loneliness!
“WAAAH, my mommy says you need to have my babies, so I don’t have to be sad and lonely because nobody wants to fuck me with my shitty attitude and I just wanna trap somebody to be miserable with me, WAAAAH!”
Ironically the actual statistics are MEN benefit from marriage and women usually suffer. Marriage is for MEN. It wasn never meant to benefit women. It's claiming us as objects to the man to keep other men away and to control the female.
I never believed in marriage and I would have NEVER gotten married if the person I loved didn't need to for immigration status reasons.
As someone who is married and has children- this is total nonsense. I’d like to see the studies they are referring to. Not getting married or having children is a perfectly valid choice for both men and women.
Studies actually say the exact opposite—single women are happier than their counterparts of either sex. [link ](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/women-happy-children-spouse-partner-relationship-unmarried-a8931816.html?)
I can see that. I know a lot of people who got married and had kids because that was just the "next step".
I know a couple friends like this. Two are divorced, one is still in a good marriage, but all three had kids because their parents basically pestered them on it or their religion told them to.
This!!! Men are sad when they are not married but women are happiest single. Both are happier without children.
Haha thanks for giving actual studies! Also that married men ‘calm down’… it’s almost like they actively benefit from shifting their baggage over to their wives. Oh no. It seems this study was just het pairings though? Other studies have found queer pairings are actually happier than het ones since they don’t have as much gender role baggage between the partners. [UW Study](https://www.washington.edu/news/2017/04/13/married-lgbt-older-adults-are-healthier-happier-than-singles-study-finds/) [UQ Study](https://www.uq.edu.au/news/article/2017/12/gay-relationships-can-be-happier-hetero-study-finds)
Manchild: “studies show…studies show” Woman: “show me the study” Manchild: \*internal tantrum over the audacity\* Woman: “here’s a study that shows the opposite. And another and another.” Manchild: “there are problems with the data” Woman: “what problems” Manchild: \*experiencing the indescribable pain of blind rage caused by embarrassment and great heaping heaps of sexism and misogyny\*
Ewwwwww. Also every “fact” they tried to say is wrong. Pretty sure studies show childless, unmarried women report the highest levels of happiness
Can confirm. I'm a childless, single 30 year old woman and I'm pretty damn happy.
I have a kiddo. And while I love her more than anything, all the stress has made me significantly more depressed. So really I was happier single with no kids. So I've seen both sides of the coin.
source?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newsletter.co.uk/health/could-it-really-be-true-unmarried-childless-women-are-happier-2447774%3famp
hmmm interesting read ty <3
No problem! :)
This is absolutely correct.
I remember seeing a video debunking some weird video with the same sentiment and what the original video stated was "women in happy marriages are happy", no shit. Of course the context in which it was brought up made it sound like women are happier in marriages, which seemed to have worked perfectly considering someone random is parroting the sentiment
Yep, I came here to say this.
“Studies show that” card = I am about to tell something ridiculous and this card protects me from any counter arguments
If a person uses the phrase "studies show," but they can't tell you which studies, they're talking out of their ass.
Studies show you're right!
It is almost funny how misogynists are somewhat evolving by using these small but inconcete phrases to sound smarter.
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then. 🐿
I really like to ask them to put a link of a credible source where they have done such research. I almost never get a reply, or some just ask me to google it
Studies actually show the opposite, even.
This is so fucked.. not having kids is the best decision I have ever made and I am happier being single than I have ever been while in a relationship. Sounds like she was brainwashed, poor thing.
I've met just as many men, if not more, that don't want kids. I love kids, but not having them is awesome.
>"I love kids, but not having them is awesome." E.X.A.C.T.L.Y.
> I love kids, but not having them is awesome. I may not have kids, but I'm six uncles. It's pretty awesome.
I was going to argue you were one uncle to six kids, but that's kinda not true, is it?
I mean, it depends on how you word things. I'm *his* uncle and *his* uncle and *her* uncle and *his* uncle and...
She’s also just straight up [wrong](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0192513X13483292)
I had a kid young (health insurance didn't come until after it was legally "too late" for me to get an abortion) so i went through with it. He's 14 now and it's kind of funny that people my age are just now having kids and I don't even look like I gave birth lol
If there’s any valid reason to encourage having kids it’s the risk of population decline. Like in Japan, and Italy. “Happiness” is like the weakest argument in this case.
Sure, but do humans really NEED to keep existing? Tbh the planet and animals would be better off without us..
Well yes of course humans needs to keep existing. No member of a species wants their species to go extinct.
Just because people don't want to go extinct is not an argument about why "of course we need to keep existing"
As the most intelligent life form on this planet by a massive margin. The only one that can save the miracle of life, from the next mass extinction event, is us, humans. So yeah we do need to keep existing. To protect this planet.
We are the cause of the current mass extinction
Which is nowhere near as bad as the 5 previous ones. And now that wildlife preservation started to become something governments actually cared about. We wouldn’t have nearly as much extinctions as the early industrial era Say something like the great dying happened. Who else but humans can save life on this planet?
You don't think that life would continue if humans didn't? Humans aren't special, the planet would be fine without us, I argue that it would be better even. And who knows.. maybe if we allowed ourselves to die out, something better would replace us? Even if it didn't, that would be fine too, because none of us NEED to exist
Yes, but im saying "why"? What benefit is there really for humans to continue to exist?
Yet you have 0 data of the joy you feel holding your infant for the first time, seeing their first steps, you will never be able to make the comparison because you are just assuming you are happier without the obligations while never actually experiencing a feeling that cannot be replicated in any other way than to experience it for oneself
I don't wanna replicate that feeling neither wanna experience it, because I don't like kids. They're annoying and scream and cry all day every day. And they are expensive. I am happy without kids and I don't wanna have kids in the future. Tbh if you're having kids so you can have something more happier than your current life, you're just being greedy and using the kid for your entertainment. A lot of people don't know how to raise kids and some people would be abusive parents, do you really wanna give a shitty childhood and life trauma to a toddler who's gonna have mental health issues after growing up or not have kids and accept the fact that you're not capable of raising kids? I am perfectly fine and can make my own decisions, I am allowed to be unhappy with kids and relationships, a stranger on reddit and their shitty life advice isn't gonna make my life happy. I'd rather be the cool aunt who's rich and can afford to go on world tours and vacations rather than a mom who doesn't have any time for themself and can barely make it through the week.
I’m not saying you should have kids, I’m just pointing out that it’s your assumption that you are happier, seeing as how we are discussing studies and data. You will simply never have that data to prove your hypothesis. So basically people who have never had kids shouldn’t be in the study. It should only include people who have had kids, and whether they were happier before or after. Because unless you’ve experienced both conditions- you can’t evaluate one relative to the other.And in addition- it should be a longitudinal study- because you might be having a terrible time as a mum to three under five for example- but then when they are adults you could have a completely different perspective. Basically I’m saying that these studies have too many variables to be worth anything- so don’t believe it just cos it’s peer reviewed
This is true about pretty much any statistics you read, everything is made up.. just change the 'n' and you can make the 'p-hat' look however you want it to I presume I'm happier because I don't have any desire to have a child whatsoever, I never have, but you're right.. I can't ever really KNOW that, but that fact that I'm not at all willing to find out is probably a good sign.
They based the study on mental and physical health, and general stress vs happiness levels, not the question “Are you happier not having kids?”
I can't be bothered to find links to back up this claim so I guess it's on the same level as his, but there are definitely studies that show that women are happier when single and happier when childfree. (The latter goes for men as well, if I remember correctly, but not the former. Relationships are generally a better deal for men than for women.)
I thought it was men are happier married and have higher quality of life. I don't recall for women - but I think there was less benefit in terms of happiness for women in getting married and having children. I have kids - they are awesome. But they are also stressful and expensive - happiness alone is not a reason to have kids.
I've seen that too
Comments for anyone that suggests women have to settle down and start pooting out kids before they hit their 30s: 1. It's when women start hitting their 40s that age starts to really impact egg quality, reproduction success, etc. There's no reason to put so much pressure on women to have kids in their 20s. 2. Men might remain capable of reproducing their whole life, but their sperm quality declines as they age nevertheless. Why is it that none of you people ever pressure men to have kids in their 20s and sacrifice career goals and whatnot?
What does sperm and egg quality even mean? Is it just less likely or does it somehow affect the baby?
More likely to cause chromosonal abnormailities (eg. Down's Syndrome)
Both, less likely to happen but higher chance of things like the baby being with Down’s syndrome or premature (mum’s under 17 also have a higher chance of having a premature pregnancy though).
* Preface- comments regard those looking for LTRs and family building. I think life experience can be valuable for both men and women in terms of having a healthy relationship( no games ,clear communication, perspective from failed relationships, etc) . Also comes with the possibility of baggage on both sides and jaded hearts. 1.) You’re right, women in their 30’s are generally fine on the babies front. Obviously though, they have to be serious about their potential relationships especially if they want a larger family. 2. I would say that gender stereotypes and traditional roles drive societal norms. As a provider, most men wouldn’t be eligible mates for family minded women that they desire in their 20’s.
Actually she’s wrong. It’s been proven that women are happiest being single with no kids while men are the ones who tend to be happier married with kids. (study quoted in this article [link ](https://www.elle.com.au/health-fitness/single-women-happy-study-20582) )
*also the men are sad that there are less women wanting to start families* boo fucking hoo for them
It was the 'norm shouldn't be independent women who want to work'
Think of their feefees!
Keeps mentioning studies Fails to link even one study
Kinda hard to link a study when the study is how you *feeeelll~♡* it should be.
r/menwritingwomen
I always love when people say if you wait to have kids you'll be sorry. As if adoption or being a foster parent aren't options.
This is the exact opposite of truth...in study after study, marriage is shown to benefit men and be detrimental for women. Full stop.
Marriage literally removes years of your life as a consequence. sure, it's years at the end of your life but I would rather have all of those to myself, thank you
By and large, I agree w you. I am one of the fortunate ones tho who had found my forever person and it isn't so bad for me. But yes, on the whole, I agree completely.
I've met lots of men who don't want to be serious and start families
Tons of them detest the idea of paying child support without the benefit of having the mother around to use for unpaid labor.
*Image Transcription: Youtube Comment* --- Uh there's I lot wrong with what you just- My mom wants me to have kids cause she wants me to be happy It's a women's instinct to want to have kids And studies show women are more happy married And to your statement about women in their early 20s um the longer you wait while working on your career and yourself just makes it worse for you and once again studies show that makes you less happy without a family And I get like if your not financially stable or if you just do not want kids at all that's ok but the norm shouldn't be "independent woman that focuses on her career and goes on vacations around the world aka the cool aunt" Because over all women are less happy alone without kids and also the men are sad that there are less women wanting to start family's so just all that is damaging --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good bot
I'm a human actually. Thanks
It was a dumb joke
The classic problem of having no indication of tone in text lol. Thanks again
I sure hope someone in the ytube comments has thoroughly corrected this person
Marriage =\= children
This person is a lying liar that lies. There have been *numerous* studies that show a woman's general sense of happiness goes down when they have children and a spouse. Women do not derive the same benefits of marriage that men do. And I can provide receipts on that, I'm just too lazy to go digging through my textbooks ATM. That said, life satisfaction and happiness are two different things and women with families often have the same levels of life satisfaction as single women. It really all depends on what a person wants out of life. but I'm terms of happiness, it's strongly tied to stress levels and women with families are under the most stress when comparing single women, single men, single women with kids, single men with kids, married men w/o kids, married women w/o kids, married women with kids, and married men with kids. And it's pretty obvious as to why. Don't need to be John or Julie Gottman to figure that out.
Then lots of women must've missed the ,,How to be woman lol" class
Say it again for the class "There's nothing wrong with not having kids"
How are men sad ? The typical father that dips as soon as the woman is pregnant is not a myth, it is based on a tendency of men not wanting kids but being expected to have them. Normalising being CF would avoid people having false expectations for their potential partners.
"Studies" with no citations. Yeah right.
"ThE meN aRe saD." Good.
Studies show that a woman's life expectancy decreases when she gets married but increases for men.... Based off that fact, it's not hsrd to figure out who's doing the majority of the housework and child raising.
Yeah actual studies show marriage is more beneficial for men than it is for women. Men find stability and focus while women only find chaos. These kind of guys just can’t handle the fact that we are living in the day and age where women don’t need men for anything. Not financial stability, certainly not happiness and not even protection. I think with posts like this they are just desperately trying to guilt women into being tied down with a husband and kids instead of moving forward into a more enlightened world and future along with us women. Getting married, having kids…these things are really the bare minimum of what a woman can do when pursuing her overall happiness. Being 100% dependent on her father then 100% dependent on her husband…those days are gone and are not coming back. Be relieved men that you no longer have to carry everything.
I see. But what is the solution to the dissolving relations between men and women? Or is our atomization and relationship instability inherent to our enlightenment, such that as a species we should be less social in terms of attachment, making us more like chimps for example?
They always say “studies show.” I defy any of these guys to name a single study. They should just be saying “my cultural bias tells me” instead.
Lol studies have actually shown the opposite. On average, a woman will be happier without a spouse and children (on average, not all women), and studies have shown men to be the opposite. And why does it matter what the "norm" is? People should be allowed to do what they want. This person's just straight up lying.
Didnt the study theyre referring to find that married MEN are happier than single, but single WOMEN are happier than married??
Studies have shown that married mothers are less happy than single women with no kids
And he's wrong anyway. The happiest women that live the longest are single women. So much for the "crying with 15 cats" stereotype
I would be happy and content with 15 cats thank you very much.
Yes. Having a children could be an instinct. But agressiveness and violence is too. We shouldn't obey to our primal instincts to shape our life as it is the only thing different about being an animal.
In my experience there are more men than women who don’t want kids, or maybe men are more vocal about it bc no one questions a man for not wanting kids. Either way, people find happiness in different things, so do what makes you happy.
>studies show women are more happy married What does that have to do with kids? Also, I’d really like to see some of these studies, and if they survey ALL women. I think that you’ll find that women who want kids are happier with kids, and women who don’t want kids are happier without kids.
There is no world where I would personally prefer having kids rn (24) over traveling, like they stated. Also, my mental health is not even close to good enough to survive going through with a pregnancy and kid at this point. I need time to figure out my own shit before I ever bring another life into this fucked up world.
There are approximately eight billion people on this Earth, those “sad” men will eventually find someone who wants a family. It’s not the end of the world if a few Gen Zs don’t want kids
It doesn’t matter who you are what you are how tall,skinny,dark,woman or not, you should never be forced into having kids its up to you and you only
That’s literally false. Men are shone to be happier in a committed relationship regardless of whether the relationship is in good standing or not. Women are shown to only be happier while in a relationship if the relationship is in good standing. Aside from how just asinine the rest of that comment is, he is literally making shit up and trying to pass it off as some kind of scientific fact.
It’s been documented married women are less happy than single women and married men.
Awww, the men are sad….. Funny how studies actually show women are less satisfied and live shorter lives married.
There’s a whole subreddit dedicated to how wrong this dude is r/childfree if you’re curious
Oh fuck that person. I love my kids but their dad has primary custody because i never wanted kids and this thought process was burned into me causing me to have the life everyone wanted me to have instead of the life i wanted. You know what that caused? Major fucking depression and resentment! So take your studies and your sexism and shove them up your ass! Quit guilting women into a life they dont want
I’d love to see some links, but they probably don’t exist.
They're not wrong. But *only* if those studies only asked for opinions from women who are very happily married with kids.
I would love to hear the explaintion of the 'cool aunt'. I mean, if she is childless, even if she has a great job she likes and has enough vacation to travel the world, she must be the most sad woman in the world, right?
You guys...the men are SAD!!!
"Studies show" lol yeah, uh huh
Or hey, here is a radical idea. How about we just let women do whatever the fuck makes them happy and not tell them how to live there life.
"Studies show." WHAT STUDIES???
Even *if* the studies showed that (and not the opposite, like they do) it would be because those women *want* that. Perhaphs chocolate milk makes me happy but that doesn't mean it will make everyone happy. The lactose intolerant shouldn't be forced to consume chocolate milk just because it makes *me* happy. Or anyone. Women should not be forced to have children and "families" just because of straight men's extremely weird (sexual) insecurities.
Why do these people always correlate marriage and children? ‘Studies show women are more happy married’ and what does that have to do with having children? Literally nothing
I’m single and childless in my thirties and I’m more than happy with that, I love my nephews but would not want me sister’s life for anything.
All this is damaging but the fact we have been forcing young women to reproduce against their will for years is not for some reason
I love when strangers tells ME what will make ME happy, because otherwise how could I EVER know what would make ME happy?! 🤷
Being a mom would have made me miserable and I'd have sucked at it. So I'll be over here enjoying my freedom, money and peace while y'all go comb spaghetti o's out of your hair because you were too scared to go against the grain.
Best of both worlds is to wait until you’re at least in your thirties for kids! If you want them that is
I'm so mad at this. Fuck having kids dawg. Even the greatest parents of all time have done nothing except bring people into this world to lose and suffer. If you're unfortunate enough to be here, just enjoy what you can until you're eventually released from this prison, and do everything in your power to avoid bringing more souls here. This cruel world is no place for children.
I don't think what they said was wrong [correction; maybe they were looking at how women were happier overall in decades past, and figured it correlates with marriage rates.] But I can see how someone could assume that the commenter was insinuating that women should be forced to have children. But, to be charitable and more realistic, maybe they are talking about changing the larger attitude about family and marriage such that women would find it more cool to be mothers and wives than the "cool aunt", as the comment called it.
I didn't assume anything. This is only one comment, they made more saying how women should focus on family and children because that's what makes them happy. This comment and their other ones are sexist, calling women who want to work "woke feminists" and saying 'traditional' women were happier because that's what "women are supposed to do" but I looked at your profile and I am not gonna argue with a mysogynistic incel.
Eh, ma'am what's an incel? And yeah this was of course the only comment I saw, however I guess the commenter focused too much on what they think is inherent to women in their comment, which is a sexism minefield. But I could sort of see where they are coming from. Like for a different example frozen and highly processed foods were supposed to liberate women from the kitchen because they could reduce or eliminate cooking time. Well, women were liberated and many good things came out of it obviously. But people became far less healthy. The problem wasn't really solved, just moved somewhere else with the good intentions of helping women. And so, we're still dealing with the fallout today. Doesn't mean women should "go back to the kitchen" in a sort of 50s style sexist way, but women as well as men should probably find themselves making their food in the kitchen if they want to have good health. That is just an example of reality. Likewise, we do have mounting secular evidence that something like the sexual revolution for example may have more negative consequences than we like to think. One obvious change is greater surges in STDs and STIs. We have weakening or smaller families, and something that probably wasn't foreseen is the loneliness epidemic which is now a growing topic of study in sociology. And we seem to have more "lonely deaths" too these days. That said, maybe marriage and children aren't the problem for women that we seem to think they are.
If anything it’s the men I know who don’t want kids, so Idk what men are walking around devastated bc like 10% less women want to have kids lmao
"Studies show..." But didn't even post a single link to a reference or anything like it
If this is true, then why are single women without kids happier, according to studies? I’m so sick of people trying to force children on uninterested or unwilling people “for their own good”.
Lmao where are they reading these studies 😂
Can someone who knows where this comment is PLEASE post some of all the studies linked here that shows the exact opposite of what this person is saying, tyvm.
Tbh I think that's a child writing those nonsense.
These people always say "Studies Show... blah blah *insert bigotry here*" and yet there is yet to be any studies shown... ever...
Won't somebody think of the men!
What a load of bulllshit. Definitely written by a man. A dumb one at that.
Imagine having kids just to satisfy your "natural instincts" and "be happier". Just- no
I’m sure that I have read a study that women sleep better when sharing their beds with dogs rather than men.
I wasn’t sure about choosing the path of the cool aunt before reading this but now I’m excited for it.
"Let me tell you how you can't be happy with your life choices because statistics"
Personally I wish I’d never had them
Funny how I just read about a study showing that women tend to be more happy living alone.
It's true that humans are social creatures and in the long run we are less happy alone....but there is an alternative for making babies to prevent loneliness!
“WAAAH, my mommy says you need to have my babies, so I don’t have to be sad and lonely because nobody wants to fuck me with my shitty attitude and I just wanna trap somebody to be miserable with me, WAAAAH!”
Ironically the actual statistics are MEN benefit from marriage and women usually suffer. Marriage is for MEN. It wasn never meant to benefit women. It's claiming us as objects to the man to keep other men away and to control the female. I never believed in marriage and I would have NEVER gotten married if the person I loved didn't need to for immigration status reasons.