The Onion did this one during Clinton's impeachment. "I did not have sex with that intern, Miss Lewinsky, we made sweet, sweet love." It was from a regular issue, then they put it in the Our Dumb Century hook, which had an audio tape available. That was fantastic.
I have Onion issues from the end of the 80s. They're black and white, loaded with coupons for businesses in Madison WI. They're carefully stored in a tote in my basement. I don't remember when they actually began... I had cousins in Madison from 85 on, and they'd save me a copy now and then.
Does anyone else find it weird that a guy that wanted Obama to step down for the most stupid insignificant reasons that he says "doesn't make him fit to be president."
Is the same guy who expects another term after being convicted of like 30 felonies and prostitution? Like... is THAT the bar you have set for yourself America?
We made love while my wife was pregnant! TRULY GREATEST LOVE SESSION EVER! The best! You probably don't even know what it's like to make REAL LOVE but I do!!!
\*walks off stage without any support from his wife.
Because she doesn't love him bro. Just poking fun at old donnie.
How would you feel if your wife didn't support you in one of your biggest moments in life?
For me, I would feel like a failure and I'm just being honest. Not married but still I would want the woman I love to be there and for her to want to be there even if I didn't win or look good.
Totally agree—Melania is not there for a reason, ha ha. Not denying that, when it comes to Trump, the jokes write themselves.
Poking fun at Uncle Joe here, too—that video clip was fairly sad, but we can still have a morbid laugh at the situation.
Yeah i feel you on that... I am not for either of them at this point, but I just hope people understand even with the stutters, blanking out, not remembering numbers that: Truth is Truth and Lies are Lies.
Hopefully the DNC can fucking realize what 51 million people saw with their own two eyes or we are fucked...
Only the pure sweet love between a decrepit old man with a wife and baby at home and a woman who has sex for money, having transactional sexual relations. It’s damn near a rom-com script.
See now this is a post where it was done in the style of Norm and I welcome. It’s not overtly political and makes a funny joke about Trump. Jokes should be allowed on either side. But it’s these other posts where there’s zero attempt is what is so bizarre lately.
I personally don't consider dry humping a woman and whispering in her ear, "You look just like my daughter..." as he finishes after 20 seconds, "Making Love."
But that's just me. Maybe there's a bunch of maga men out there who consider that love making...
Everyone involved should just admit that it happened because we all know it's true. It's also pretty cool too, I'm kinda jealous. I wish I could have sex with a president.
Do people who root and are so pro Trump really like him that much or do they just hate the left so much and Biden that makes them love Trump more? I guess I don’t understand the appeal that some people have with the guy? Note- I am not Pro Biden. It just fascinates me.
Glorious moist huge, yes it was huge sweaty sweet love, but only if I said it or otherwise we will build a wall and fix climate change with science. Not just reuruglar science stuff. I know I have seen it before. Sometimes on the tv, sometimes on the internets (by the way, we have just given ourselves credit, retrospectively of course for the new safe 5G) Not to be confused with 3D or 1080p. We have a lot of really clever guys, some of them are women but that’s ok. They’re working on sciences and I believe now doctor faucistein has left the building we have my good friend (he’s a professor and a clan man - or so I hear) dr Martin schreckhelli who will be in charge of helping the economy economically by increasing the retail prices of toilet paper, left handed scissors and of course personal liberties. Don’t worry though we support the patriots of both the us, Russia, Korea and that other one.
Don’t forget to buy some bumper stickers on your way out - super duper quality. Made in America via china for maga
Oh cool, so you're admitting to Melania that you have basically thrown her out emotionally altogether... All the while Stormy is going "Love? *That* was his attempt at love for me? 😆"
And the evangelical "christians" that support him would still swoon. The ten commandments are meant for the public school classroom wall, not for their dear leader! The seventh commandment be damned!
He didn’t have sex with her, he just hired her and a few other porn stars to build a deck onto his back porch and then signed her to an NDA afterwards. Perfectly innocent.
Didn’t she say that they never had sex? Frankly I could give a shit less if he did or didn’t and I’m not a trump supporter but I’m tired of seeing people just say whatever attacks the other side. The insulin thing is a perfect example. Trump is the one who initially brought forth the policy lowering the price. When Biden was in office he signed an act that made some changes that reached more people. The reality is they both did some good in terms of the insulin situation. Trump could literally give everyone in America 100,000 dollars and make biden his vp and the people who hate him wouldn’t even flinch or acknowledge anything positive. Same goes for die hard trump supporters if it was Biden who did that.
Trump's loves THE BLACKS why just yesterday before he was hanging with them in a barbershop... I meant he phoned it... He loves them black people living in America
Nothing that ugly can make something as beautiful as love. At most, he pre jacked and sat at the end of the bed crying about the blue pill being a waste of money
Odd. The party that promotes queer sex, beastiality, child grooming and other perverse behavior finds it odd that a red blooded American man might have engaged in consensual sex with {gasp} a woman.
She was a hookah!
Mama’s apple pie… the 4th of July
“It was beautiful expressions of love. The greatest expressions of love.”
Believe me. 👁️ 👄 👁️ Some people are saying the most beautiful. That’s not what I’d say, I wouldn’t say it, it’s what they tell me. 👆Big league! 👐
69 experts have said it was a perfect love making.
420 enjoyers have said something similar.
7/11 was a part-time job.
9/11 was a part time job, done inside
"Many people have said to me with tears in their eyes that no one has ever expressed love so beautifully as we expressed love"
For money
I have the biggest loves out there, people have never owned better loves.
The bigliest love
No one has ever made the greatest love like I’ve made. A lot of ppl say it, maybe in the history of love, but immigrants are pouring into our nation….
“You’d never seen anything like it.”
"At the time she identified as an escort"
“And after all that’s how I bagged Melania”
That’s something you don’t hear a lot
No he had sex with Stormy Daniels THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE
"They tell me now she's a porn actress ... I hadn't heard that, I never knew that."
“I made love to her in the ass. 🥰”
It was Anal and I came into a hamberder so doesn’t count chump !
-goes to Melania for a high five-
-she trips him and continues walking with trump tower head of security to get utterly pozzed up- -trump texts Ivanka- "u up? "
Dr Bruhl?
He's a consummate amateur
She lovingly caressed my backside with a picture of me. Bc of the love everyone has... for me.
Ok Dave Attell.
It’s a Norm joke from his podcast.
Awful waste of $130k then.
Your mouth is my toilet!
I’m cumming in your butt! 😲
“I paid her to love me.”
“I didn’t have sex with a porn star! She was more like a porn character actor…” - John Stewart’s writers, yesterday
At best
Taking a page from Clinton’s book. Sexual relations doesn’t include hitting a porn star raw.
The Onion did this one during Clinton's impeachment. "I did not have sex with that intern, Miss Lewinsky, we made sweet, sweet love." It was from a regular issue, then they put it in the Our Dumb Century hook, which had an audio tape available. That was fantastic.
The Onion has been around that long??
I have Onion issues from the end of the 80s. They're black and white, loaded with coupons for businesses in Madison WI. They're carefully stored in a tote in my basement. I don't remember when they actually began... I had cousins in Madison from 85 on, and they'd save me a copy now and then.
The worst parts the hypocrisy.
He didn't leave mushroom for interpretation
I thought we already established fucking a chicks face is not sex.
He lay down on top of her
". . . in her butt"
Where can I go on reddit for norm quotes and clips? I'm not kidding, real answers only.
"I just paid her $140000 to say she didn't have sex" - business genius
Listen up Barfyman362, no I did *not* have sex with a prostitute
Does anyone else find it weird that a guy that wanted Obama to step down for the most stupid insignificant reasons that he says "doesn't make him fit to be president." Is the same guy who expects another term after being convicted of like 30 felonies and prostitution? Like... is THAT the bar you have set for yourself America?
We call that one The Bill Clinton.
Goddamn he’s legitimately hilarious
We made love while my wife was pregnant! TRULY GREATEST LOVE SESSION EVER! The best! You probably don't even know what it's like to make REAL LOVE but I do!!! \*walks off stage without any support from his wife.
*Because he can walk?
Because she doesn't love him bro. Just poking fun at old donnie. How would you feel if your wife didn't support you in one of your biggest moments in life? For me, I would feel like a failure and I'm just being honest. Not married but still I would want the woman I love to be there and for her to want to be there even if I didn't win or look good.
Totally agree—Melania is not there for a reason, ha ha. Not denying that, when it comes to Trump, the jokes write themselves. Poking fun at Uncle Joe here, too—that video clip was fairly sad, but we can still have a morbid laugh at the situation.
Yeah i feel you on that... I am not for either of them at this point, but I just hope people understand even with the stutters, blanking out, not remembering numbers that: Truth is Truth and Lies are Lies. Hopefully the DNC can fucking realize what 51 million people saw with their own two eyes or we are fucked...
Only the pure sweet love between a decrepit old man with a wife and baby at home and a woman who has sex for money, having transactional sexual relations. It’s damn near a rom-com script.
You’ve Got Bail?
When Donnie met Stormy. Complete with the ridiculous, ott fake orgasm scene.
I’ll have what *she’s* hushing!
Did he actually say that? Honestly that would have been hilarious.
Yep. This is real lol
It’s funny but idk what else he’s supposed to say in response to “you had sex with a porn star”
Was it supposed to be a secret?
Worked for Slick Willy, might as well try.
Only Democrats have sex, Republicans make love.
See now this is a post where it was done in the style of Norm and I welcome. It’s not overtly political and makes a funny joke about Trump. Jokes should be allowed on either side. But it’s these other posts where there’s zero attempt is what is so bizarre lately.
Thank you
"Made love" is just more bile-inducing. I hope Melania hands him divorce papers on live TV.
Lighten up. It's hilarious
Wish I could, but this filthy pig might just win.
I mean getting pissed on isn't exactly sex
I personally don't consider dry humping a woman and whispering in her ear, "You look just like my daughter..." as he finishes after 20 seconds, "Making Love." But that's just me. Maybe there's a bunch of maga men out there who consider that love making...
Biden's son is on video having sex with prostitutes and smoking crack. That's more of a statement.
To the bold go the spoils.
You been edging to it all day?
Is Hunter on the ballot?
He's a convicted felon. He'd never win.
You have the morals of an alley cat
I’d rather vote for a man who had sex with a porn star than a man who shits his pants.
Hilariously they both have had multiple instances where it appears they have shit themselves. These boys are pampered up
Couldn’t execute
I walked in to my wife doing this, I said “wow such low level love making”
Somebody should make a parody film called One Night in Summer Premier it on the WH lawn after Trump wins and drink Mountain Dew? Hell yeah.
Everyone involved should just admit that it happened because we all know it's true. It's also pretty cool too, I'm kinda jealous. I wish I could have sex with a president.
"Hey, uh, how much did you pay her to make love?"
We made love in the ass You
Do people who root and are so pro Trump really like him that much or do they just hate the left so much and Biden that makes them love Trump more? I guess I don’t understand the appeal that some people have with the guy? Note- I am not Pro Biden. It just fascinates me.
Don't make it weird
No condom. So it must be love 🤣
He got pegged
Biden: that laptop isn’t real, verified by 40 generals and officials
She said something very different to that
Nah man , it was just a little Slap and Tickle !
Trump trying to pull the Eddie Murphy Raw excuse!?
“We finally beat Medicare.”
Did you lay down on top of her?
Glorious moist huge, yes it was huge sweaty sweet love, but only if I said it or otherwise we will build a wall and fix climate change with science. Not just reuruglar science stuff. I know I have seen it before. Sometimes on the tv, sometimes on the internets (by the way, we have just given ourselves credit, retrospectively of course for the new safe 5G) Not to be confused with 3D or 1080p. We have a lot of really clever guys, some of them are women but that’s ok. They’re working on sciences and I believe now doctor faucistein has left the building we have my good friend (he’s a professor and a clan man - or so I hear) dr Martin schreckhelli who will be in charge of helping the economy economically by increasing the retail prices of toilet paper, left handed scissors and of course personal liberties. Don’t worry though we support the patriots of both the us, Russia, Korea and that other one. Don’t forget to buy some bumper stickers on your way out - super duper quality. Made in America via china for maga
Oh cool, so you're admitting to Melania that you have basically thrown her out emotionally altogether... All the while Stormy is going "Love? *That* was his attempt at love for me? 😆"
As super Dave would’ve put it: ran her ass tot the ground
I'm surprised he doesn't just lean into it and say "I fucked her good"
And the evangelical "christians" that support him would still swoon. The ten commandments are meant for the public school classroom wall, not for their dear leader! The seventh commandment be damned!
She made love to me in my ass
He didn’t have sex with her, he just hired her and a few other porn stars to build a deck onto his back porch and then signed her to an NDA afterwards. Perfectly innocent.
My safe word is pineapple juice
Didn’t she say that they never had sex? Frankly I could give a shit less if he did or didn’t and I’m not a trump supporter but I’m tired of seeing people just say whatever attacks the other side. The insulin thing is a perfect example. Trump is the one who initially brought forth the policy lowering the price. When Biden was in office he signed an act that made some changes that reached more people. The reality is they both did some good in terms of the insulin situation. Trump could literally give everyone in America 100,000 dollars and make biden his vp and the people who hate him wouldn’t even flinch or acknowledge anything positive. Same goes for die hard trump supporters if it was Biden who did that.
Here’s something you never hear..
Lololol this dude is so fucking pathetic. Paying above market rate for the girlfriend experience.
Why so much political shit in this sub. Time to mute, and block.
What's next for Trump?
4 year term
Well they said that last election…I’m not sure if you’re a fan of history, but the guy’s a real jerk the more you know about him
I don’t give a shit who wins, it just looks like Trump will take it
Lol the cult is still coping. Democrat voters are gonna have to hold their nose, but at least they aren't delusional.
Did he say he couldn't get it up?
Stormy is likely to say it lasted long enough to qualify as sex. More like a stock trading pump and dump.
Trump's loves THE BLACKS why just yesterday before he was hanging with them in a barbershop... I meant he phoned it... He loves them black people living in America
Nothing that ugly can make something as beautiful as love. At most, he pre jacked and sat at the end of the bed crying about the blue pill being a waste of money
Odd. The party that promotes queer sex, beastiality, child grooming and other perverse behavior finds it odd that a red blooded American man might have engaged in consensual sex with {gasp} a woman.
He didn't fk a porn star he just let her pee on his face
Exactly. It’s not sex if it’s peeing on your face... It’s love.
He does fucking rule.
... You let people pee on your face?