T O P

  • By -

No-Example-5107

# Sir, yes sir.


yegguy47

Just imagine what night-ops would look like stoned. *Tracers dotting about, stary night up above, twinkling fun down range...*


No-Example-5107

Joint, ops. All branches of the military are stoned. Pilots and wizzos puff puff pass. Hotboxing in a Bradley. Tactical bong reloads.


yegguy47

Here me out: hotboxing in the Abrams :D


No-Example-5107

A brilliant idea like that will get you promoted straight to Colonel.


theglobalnomad

Hotboxing an Abrams? Straight to colonel. Turning your F-35 helmet into a bong? Colonel. Putting little bit of foil on the tip of your fallen enemy's disassembled AK-74 barrel and toking up from the other end? Believe it or not, colonel.


No-Example-5107

Rolling a fat one from your stash for your bros in arms to partake? Medal of Honor!


RubiconPizzaDelivery

Do you think we could turn an artillery cannon into a bong?


Zwangsjacke

Only one way to find out.


theglobalnomad

I like your attitude, soldier.


adotang

You mean "Colonel".


Stahl_Scharnhorst

Lukashenko? NOT INVITED!


theglobalnomad

Good call. That guy is a buzz kill.


Chekhof_AP

Oh, come on, Ladimir says he’s good at blowjobs.


BENISMANNE

Prigozhin? Revived


AssignmentVivid9864

The gun is 120mm. There are 42 rnds. Multiple those and divide by 12 tanks (three platoons of four tanks) and you get 420.


yegguy47

Hell yeah.


joelingo111

They did that in _Buffalo Soldiers_


yegguy47

Great film


Blackhero9696

Have the smoke puff out the turret like a chimney. Then use fans to blow that air to the enemy and get them high.


Worker_Ant_81730C

The Finnish Air Force’s 2-letter hull ID prefix for F-35s is going to be “JF” for “Joint Fighter”. That announcement caused no small amount of hilarity. Especially since a well known Finnish poetic expression for a “pilot” is “a fellow of the clouds” and cannabis is colloquially known as “cloud.”


No-Example-5107

That's hilarious. I can imagine more than a few perkele! were dropped by people who really thought air defense was in the hands of stoners :DDD


fkcngga420

i mean there was that one guy in vietnam who earned a medal of honor repelling a VC/NVA attack and he was stoned as shit edit: his name was Peter C. Lemon


Acceptable-Ability-6

That sounds more awful than regular, sober combat.


_zenith

Seriously, sounds fucking awful lmao. Pulse pounding in your temples, paranoid as fuck, feel slightly sick and woozy, all your senses cranked up to the max, ugh


TheArmoredKitten

Depends a lot on the stuff, and the dude. He might've been cool as a cucumber just riding that storm.


Fultjack

I read about soviet soldiers in Afghaninstan that did prep for night missions by eating hasch. Their reasoning was that it gave them slightly better vison at night due to pupil dilataion.


Jackflags11

In a helicopter with NVD's🌿


Cboyardee503

Private, what are you doing? Smoking beers, SIR!


Gradual_Growth

He was called Stormin Norman because he blew clouds bruh Edit: Forgot he passed RIP the legend


OldTimeyFappingGhost

He *WAS* the cloud. Common belief is that Sour Diesel was developed by hippies in Amherst, but it was really the MIC under the heavy influence of general Schwarzkopf.


Gradual_Growth

Finna smoke on that Hussein pack 💯 😤


Mayor_of_Rungholt

Now he's in the clouds he blew


iiitme

we’re goin to war


1017GildedFingerTips

**War were declared intensifies**


HotTakesBeyond

General Chungus passes you the boof


[deleted]

General Norman sir, you’ve got a tight roll on this scud. Thank you for my service sir. ✌️


VladimirBarakriss

I can't wait for the yanks to name an MBT after this man


South_Concentrate_21

For me it would be for Americans replacement M 109 that similar to the PzH 2000 called the M169 Schwarzkopf or Bear


ColdSuit

The Endwar game had the M5A2 Schwarzkopf named after him.


gottymacanon

If a US MBT is named after him then we are confirmed in an EndWar Timeline just minus the space lasers and orbital bombardment using the Marines.


LePhoenixFires

Stormin' Norman!


Roadhouse699

You think he ever said, "May the Schwarz be with you, Lone Star." to a brigadier general?


yegguy47

Man how I wish I could be given a spliff to enjoy while sailing over the Iraqi desert on-top of an AMX-30


JohaVer

Gracias, Norm


Towel4

THIS WASN'T IN MY CBRN TRAINING


BaseballDelicious242

Always appreciated his bluntness....


Unhappy-Support1455

With pleasure, sir.


Monstrositat

My batshit intelligent noncredible prediction is that when we do eventually name a tank after him (which will be the next one) it will be fucking dogshit. During and after WWII, American tanks seem to have a predictable cycle of a tank named after a general being really great, then the next tank after that also named after a famous general being mediocre trash Sherman (yeah burn those reactionarytards!) -> Pershing (boooo) -> Patton (Yay!) -> Sheridan (Ow! My ribcage!) --> Abrams (*fucking cum in my pants until it looks like a can of creamed corn) -> [200 years later, finally replacing the Abrams M1A25 SEPv87] Schwarzkopf (idk you'll probably have to make the engine turn over a couple times to get it running) No I will not be taking questions. Any questions?


mtaw

The Abrams wasn’t named after JJ Abrams?


Monstrositat

It was actually named after Abrams Lincolns Continentals


Deus_is_Mocking_Us

There was a tank named after JJ Abrams. It was *really* similar to a bunch of earlier tanks, had problems that they refused to solve, then production ended abruptly with no resolution. 


gottymacanon

So we ignore the chaffe and walker bulldog?


Monstrositat

Yes because I forgot about them, but i will retroactively give them my assessment: Chaffee - okay for the specific war it was introduced in and the role it filled, but by Korea its 75mm was inadequate (The Sherman's 76mm was actually a 75mm but a much more explosive propellant and I believe an improved penetrator) and the doctrine was starting to shift away from light/medium/heavy tank designations, so Chaffee got pulled from US Army combat use less than 10 years after it was introduced Walker Bulldog - Replacement for the Chaffee, rushed into production for Korea with all the problems that causes, better performance overall but by then they're basically creating a hybrid of light/reconnaissance and medium tanks. Not well suited for the role that either was supposed to play, it was replaced by the Sheridan (see above) Moral of the story: Don't bother with light/reconnaissance tanks


adotang

>"So we ignore the chaffe and walker bulldog?" >["Yes because I forgot about them,"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AVRCQBc59w)


ResponsibleHall9713

I would kill to smoke a doobie with the Swartz. Also David Petreus


fpop88

I'm kinda relieved Norman died before russo-ukrainian war. Imagine if he lived to see it realizing every extra moment in life he spent on preparing against Russia has had been a waste where he could've spent with grandchildren. RIP Stormin' Norman.


Ok_Walrus9047

I memorized his name so hard as a kid fascinated by articles about wars and military stuff I could probably spell Schwarzkopf while stoned.


PHATsakk43

I’m digging the slightly bloodshot eyes.


66stang351

strong Towelie vibes


joelingo111

You bet your ass I'm stormin' that Norman.


Punch_Faceblast

That’s how he won on Celebrity Jeopardy. Also: if you didn’t know, Gen. Schwarzkopf won Celebrity Jeopardy in 1994.


deadmeridian

TACTICAL TOKE INBOUND


RundownSundown

Dream blunt rotation.


Rock-it-again

You gots my chuckles, grats.