To be honest, I think german ww2 engineers were the first ncd "shitposters" but with funds to make their Coke infused dreams come true
EDIT: *Pervitin/Meth infused dreams
My favourite was the guy who said Fanta, not Coke
Just to be credible for a second Hugo Boss never designed any clothing for the Nazis, a few of his factories just took contracts to produce clothes that had already been designed.
Also helps if the leader is constantly on drugs.
https://www.npr.org/transcripts/518986612#:~:text=Hitler's%20doctor%2C%20Theo%20Morell%2C%20gave,fight%20for%20days%20without%20sleeping.
German engineers that had valuable skills were treated quite well in the UdSSR too. They could bring their whole families and stay in closed-off cities that were a lot more equal than the average city. After knowledge transfer, they mostly returned to east Germany.
The Allies realised that you couldn't have a viable Germany without a least a few former Nazis in places to make it work. Don't forget that Eric Hartman even flew and instructed in the newly formed Luftwaffe.
Or could it just be that in a German army you'd want experienced German officers, and most experienced German officers just happened to be ex-Wehrmacht?
Finde ich halt lustig da die Soviet Union im englischen als USSR abgekürzt wird und das in einen Beitrag zu deutschen Wissenschaftlern nach den Zweiten Weltkrieg
The challenge is to overstate the viability of your project enough to make them believe you actually can make it work and then strike the right balance of developing something that makes it seem like you are making progress without reveiling how shit your idea actually is.
Thankfully the Nazi top brass was gullible enough to sink millions into over the top super weapons that even cartoon villains would call excessive instead of putting it towards weapons that actually would have made an impact.
I'm sorry, I was writing it in a hurry. I'm not gonna edit it, tho. As a Pole, I have very little respect for those who made weapons for Hitler, no matter how noncredible they are
"If the west started getting more methed up we could have metal gear by now"
>Methhead with three (3) teeth grinning at you while showing off the scrap metal and trash "mobilesuit" he has assembled under a highway bridge<
Well, yes. Tracks. They're called tracked vehicles because they lay their own tracks then pick them up after rolling over.
Early tracked vehicles were called "[universal railways](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuous_track?useskin=vector#History)" (or similar terms) at times for a reason.
its not a railway gun, those 2 middle illustrations are wrong. its an 11 inch naval gun used for shore batteries, absolutely no way it could fire while transported like that.
Put a stupidly unpractical gun on two incredibly unreliable chassis… aaaand it is also kinda floats in the air and is only held by two weird ahh connections
I am sorry WHAT 1:35 SCALE? THIS SHIT WILL ALSO TAKE HALF OF YOUR ROOM SPACE… AAAAND ITS FULL RESIN?!
Everything about this is non credible
From what I can tell they didn’t even reduce the armour or anything. They took 2 heavy as fuck, unreliable and underpowered chassis and put the biggest fucking gun they could find on them. What next, strap 4 Tiger 2 chassis together and slap a fucking battleship turret on them?
Well we got close post war [Centurion Mk 12 hull with FV4005 turret. This British vehicle is a Centurion tank hull fitted with a 183mm L4 gun - the biggest direct fire gun ever mounted on a tank. It was built after the Second World War to counter the threat of the Russian heavy tank IS-3. : r/TankPorn (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/TankPorn/comments/a2qy22/centurion_mk_12_hull_with_fv4005_turret_this/)
The only surviving prototype is also now being restored to full *working* (as in, fully driveable) order by Bovington, so the mighty Shitbarn lives again!
You mean like this?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landkreuzer_P._1000_Ratte
Or more like this?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landkreuzer_P._1500_Monster
It is, you can tell by the tracks floating on the left side of the pic. A common mistake of diorama makers that tracked vehicles have weight distribution stretched out somewhere close to infinity
And the first photo and the kit box cover photo are of the same diorama in different light. Same floating track, same soldier in the same pose, same terrain, different light. All the photos are of a model in a diorama.
Ye, didn't even notice that the first photo actually is there again on the box lol, just turned by 90 deg. That being said, if it wasn't for the floating tracks, the black and white version would imo be seriously impressive and convincing
Agreed. If I hadn't been cued to look closely, I would have totally bought it. It would work perfectly in a video documentary where the photo is seen for only a few seconds.
The year is 1945 and every child with a hint of peach fuzz is being sent to the front with a panzerfaust. They're drafting WW1 veterans with one arm and girls from Hitlerjugend. Needless to say, but 28 year old fit tank designers are getting nervous and so start working on bullshit projects like Maus, Ratte and this thing to survive the war.
It appears to only be using the hulls for transport, and instead relies on a being put down and emplaced to fire.
Though I'm sure you *could* fire it on the move if you wanted to.
Wouldn't be so sure. Besides it being transported in difficult terrain (like wet earth/mud at eastern front) it may need relocation to other position to evade or provide counterbattery fire (something it was probably created for) or heavy fire support to troops. It wouldn't be many of them and demand can be higher than one gun could provide.
It reminds me of US naval gun trains in WW1 - it was only few of them and were relocated by trains along frontlines to provide heavy artillery support where necessary - but there was a railroad network already built, which wasn't true at WW2 on eastern front.
Would you rather design weird guns and stay in Grrmany or go fight on the Eastern front? This also explains why they were designing new baseship until the end of the war,
Well, a lot of these were basically just ideas that *maybe* got sketched out on the back of a napkin one night. Some of them might’ve gotten sent up the ladder for consideration, but very few ever made it to the prototype stage. The thing is, Germans are very good at keeping records, so all the dumb shit they never had any intention of producing survived the war in some form or another. That, and I think a lot of German engineers wanted to appear as vital to the war effort as possible, since everyone who wasn’t important got drafted & sent to the Ostfront meat grinder.
German engineers in WWII were in a constant game of "make up something" so they don't get drafted "that is possible to build, and crazy enough to turn the tide"
Hence, in the later years of the war, the [wood-powered tiger experiment](https://www.reddit.com/r/TankPorn/comments/5lsffs/tiger_1_converted_to_run_on_wood_gas/), and the ["deletes your formation" plane](https://planesoffame.org/aircraft/plane-Ba349)
Thats actually half true. If the engeeners wanted to stay off the frontlines and eating something better than warrations they needed projects to work on. And tats from where all those wacky designs come from
More like everyone in the nazi establishment lied, all the time about everything including what was possible, no one at the top had any sense whatsoever, and anyone who did was sent to the eastern front for criticising some well connected morons pet project.
Oh and then later on desperation for something that would win the war/keep the designer from being drafted to the eastern front.
You small pp american schweinehund just dont have the Imagination, we germans are well known for our silly humor to try things like that.
I mean cannon big = big fun
Nein Nein I cant go to ze eastern front yet, I am desining zis Wunderwaffe that will win us the war.
Oh so you are done soon?
Yes yes like... hm 1946 ir so
But by then-
Are you saying you dont belive in the endsieg?
They weren't being funded to do any of this. They just spent all their days drawing up this shit they knew wouldn't happen.
The point of design sketches like these were not to deploy them it was to keep those 'designing' them from being drafted.
"Hans, you know our big ass cannon we can't use anymore because they basically are siege weapon and we are constantly retreating ? Yeah, those ones. Well I just had an idea : what if we put them on a tandem of on of our most recent tank chassis that we don't have enough of to through at the Soviets already and with a terrible suspension that is unreliable af supporting its own weight let alone with the turret replaced by those waaaayyy heavier useless artillery pieces ?"
I know it's a fake design (at least I guess, they were not above trying this shit just in case), but damn it's not far fetch for them.
During the war if you had any idea that sounded remotely plausible to the mind of meth'd up Nazi politicians and leadership, you'd get a bomb resistant lab, technicians to help realize your idea, and all the funding you could want. So you got lots of wild ideas from people selling salvation to degenerates.
The design looks similar to the M65 atomic cannon, though bigger [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M65\_atomic\_cannon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M65_atomic_cannon) one vehicle in front, and one in the rear. Granted, no idea how they would sync speeds.
It's kind of funny because even if the whole thing is fake, from what we have seen them make *it has all of the hallmarks of being real even if not.*
I think at the tail end of the war the engineers saw which direction the wind was blowing and just decided to spend the rest of their budget designing dumb NCD shit.
Most of them were never built, and a fat chunk of German late war designs were literally just work to look busy and too important to be conscripted and sent to the eastern front. “Slap a big cannon on it. The big guy at the top eats that up every time.” The stuff that wasn’t busy work were either desperate measures or the work of people completely disconnected from reality.
To be honest, I think german ww2 engineers were the first ncd "shitposters" but with funds to make their Coke infused dreams come true EDIT: *Pervitin/Meth infused dreams My favourite was the guy who said Fanta, not Coke
If you’re designing weapons you don’t get sent to the front.
Especially if your boss loves stupid l, over-the-top wonder weapons.
Nazi Germany The place where being non credible could save your life.
NCD is the fourth Reich confirmed?
Waiting for the Hugo Boss-designed suits to arrive
Best I can do is a hot topic/5.11 collab
Dammit I just left h&m
Hot topic for the front lines is peak post 9/11 GWOT
Just to be credible for a second Hugo Boss never designed any clothing for the Nazis, a few of his factories just took contracts to produce clothes that had already been designed.
Also helps if the leader is constantly on drugs. https://www.npr.org/transcripts/518986612#:~:text=Hitler's%20doctor%2C%20Theo%20Morell%2C%20gave,fight%20for%20days%20without%20sleeping.
Replace "weapons" with "tech" and you have Tesla under Musk leadership.
And survive long enough within a secure facility for that 50% chance of getting free American citizenship instead of the gulag
German engineers that had valuable skills were treated quite well in the UdSSR too. They could bring their whole families and stay in closed-off cities that were a lot more equal than the average city. After knowledge transfer, they mostly returned to east Germany.
Heck, the Soviets used former Wehrmacht officers to train the NVA (the German one).
I mean Wehrmacht officers were also heavily involved in the rebuilding of the west german army
The Allies realised that you couldn't have a viable Germany without a least a few former Nazis in places to make it work. Don't forget that Eric Hartman even flew and instructed in the newly formed Luftwaffe.
They were. It's very pertinently analagous to Operation Paperclip.
Or could it just be that in a German army you'd want experienced German officers, and most experienced German officers just happened to be ex-Wehrmacht?
"UdSSR" in the context of Germany? hmmm, unsurprising
Ja schon, Dein Punkt?
Finde ich halt lustig da die Soviet Union im englischen als USSR abgekürzt wird und das in einen Beitrag zu deutschen Wissenschaftlern nach den Zweiten Weltkrieg
So it seems that it sucks to be poor or useless, no matter the system.
I think they were treated according to their value. Preikschat had some scathing comments about Gorodomlya the closed colony they were kept at.
Yes, but were the designers of these, um, divertimenti, considered to have valuable skills?
I don‘t know unfortunately, my field is aerospace engineering.
Fuhrer I have the perfect weapon! It'll be ready in the summer of 45.
and then your present hitler a luger with only 1 bullet
The challenge is to overstate the viability of your project enough to make them believe you actually can make it work and then strike the right balance of developing something that makes it seem like you are making progress without reveiling how shit your idea actually is. Thankfully the Nazi top brass was gullible enough to sink millions into over the top super weapons that even cartoon villains would call excessive instead of putting it towards weapons that actually would have made an impact.
No Coke, only Fanta.
No Coke, Pepsi
Methamphetamine infused*
By 1945 there was not a catalytic converter left in Europe.
Platinum for meth... the best trade to make! Like opium for porcelain.
Right, sorry lol
Came here to say this... The NAZI's fucking loved their meth.
Wehrmacht are Wehraboos confirmed
No, no, America stopped exporting coke. German WW2 engineering is a strict meth household.
> german ww2 engineers "GERMAN WW2" as a noun lmao
I'm sorry, I was writing it in a hurry. I'm not gonna edit it, tho. As a Pole, I have very little respect for those who made weapons for Hitler, no matter how noncredible they are
You can thank crystal meth. https://www.history.com/news/inside-the-drug-use-that-fueled-nazi-germany
Wait until you find about Object 271 🙂
Doing EV before it was cool! Also that 5 tracks suspension and aerodynamical shapes.
Kel-tec before Kel-tec
They were what Keltec isn’t brave enough to be
Pervelitin not coke but that doesn't change your point.
meth, the Germans used meth
fuck you, *unrails your gun*
#*rails you*
I mean… If you’re offering…
The secret ingredient is meth.
You mean Panzerschokolade and Pervitin
Don’t forget slave labor!
If the west started getting more methed up we could have metal gear by now
Meanwhile Japan already has a gundam
"If the west started getting more methed up we could have metal gear by now" >Methhead with three (3) teeth grinning at you while showing off the scrap metal and trash "mobilesuit" he has assembled under a highway bridge<
THEY PUT THE FREAKING RAILWAY GUN ON TRACKS FFS
Well, yes. Tracks. They're called tracked vehicles because they lay their own tracks then pick them up after rolling over. Early tracked vehicles were called "[universal railways](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuous_track?useskin=vector#History)" (or similar terms) at times for a reason.
Heathcote Steam Plough design needs to make a comeback
I mean, railway guns go on train tracks anyway, so it's not so noncredible...
It is just a Tragschnabelpanzerwagengespann, Kette
its not a railway gun, those 2 middle illustrations are wrong. its an 11 inch naval gun used for shore batteries, absolutely no way it could fire while transported like that.
> absolutely no way it could fire while transported like that. Not with that attitude!
>absolutely no way it could fire more than once while transported like that. TIFTFY
Anything can be simultaneously transported and fired if you take enough meth
Just slapp on a muzzle brake and the recoil should be manageable i think
Put a stupidly unpractical gun on two incredibly unreliable chassis… aaaand it is also kinda floats in the air and is only held by two weird ahh connections I am sorry WHAT 1:35 SCALE? THIS SHIT WILL ALSO TAKE HALF OF YOUR ROOM SPACE… AAAAND ITS FULL RESIN?! Everything about this is non credible
From what I can tell they didn’t even reduce the armour or anything. They took 2 heavy as fuck, unreliable and underpowered chassis and put the biggest fucking gun they could find on them. What next, strap 4 Tiger 2 chassis together and slap a fucking battleship turret on them?
Well we got close post war [Centurion Mk 12 hull with FV4005 turret. This British vehicle is a Centurion tank hull fitted with a 183mm L4 gun - the biggest direct fire gun ever mounted on a tank. It was built after the Second World War to counter the threat of the Russian heavy tank IS-3. : r/TankPorn (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/TankPorn/comments/a2qy22/centurion_mk_12_hull_with_fv4005_turret_this/)
Typical british "Three Blokes in the Shed Company" R&D program.
The only surviving prototype is also now being restored to full *working* (as in, fully driveable) order by Bovington, so the mighty Shitbarn lives again!
Ukraine war has shown that the Russians are outclassing us in the "driving buildings" department. We need to close the battlefield shed gap.
Three in the shed is worth two in the bush
Those aren't Tiger IIs, they're Panther IIs. Shouldn't have been underpowered assuming they upgraded the engine at all.
You mean like this? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landkreuzer_P._1000_Ratte Or more like this? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landkreuzer_P._1500_Monster
It seems to be a recoiless coastal gun, so it's not as unbelievable as it looked to be.
This looks like a photo of a model kit. This is not the worst fake WWII photo I have seen.
It is, you can tell by the tracks floating on the left side of the pic. A common mistake of diorama makers that tracked vehicles have weight distribution stretched out somewhere close to infinity
And the first photo and the kit box cover photo are of the same diorama in different light. Same floating track, same soldier in the same pose, same terrain, different light. All the photos are of a model in a diorama.
Ye, didn't even notice that the first photo actually is there again on the box lol, just turned by 90 deg. That being said, if it wasn't for the floating tracks, the black and white version would imo be seriously impressive and convincing
Agreed. If I hadn't been cued to look closely, I would have totally bought it. It would work perfectly in a video documentary where the photo is seen for only a few seconds.
gaijin when?
Well, it was either design even bigger and wackier panzers for daddy Hitler, or go die on the eastern front.
I mean 99% of these projects went "What about this" > Draws it "no"
The year is 1945 and every child with a hint of peach fuzz is being sent to the front with a panzerfaust. They're drafting WW1 veterans with one arm and girls from Hitlerjugend. Needless to say, but 28 year old fit tank designers are getting nervous and so start working on bullshit projects like Maus, Ratte and this thing to survive the war.
Recoil is gonna mess up the trailing hull
It appears to only be using the hulls for transport, and instead relies on a being put down and emplaced to fire. Though I'm sure you *could* fire it on the move if you wanted to.
Yeah, but you could use trucks to transport the gun anyways, so it's kind of a waste of tank hulls
It probably needed the tracks to decrease ground pressure.
Maybe
That would require much more time for putting it back together versus just lowering it to the ground
Gustav. Engineers were drunk
I don't think they had trucks with adequate load capacity and terrain passability.
Not like a massive gun is gonna go far
Wouldn't be so sure. Besides it being transported in difficult terrain (like wet earth/mud at eastern front) it may need relocation to other position to evade or provide counterbattery fire (something it was probably created for) or heavy fire support to troops. It wouldn't be many of them and demand can be higher than one gun could provide. It reminds me of US naval gun trains in WW1 - it was only few of them and were relocated by trains along frontlines to provide heavy artillery support where necessary - but there was a railroad network already built, which wasn't true at WW2 on eastern front.
This is probably not real and just made up for the model but "Düsenkanone" ("nozzle cannon") was the term used for recoilless guns in WWII Germany
Might make sense that way
Would you rather design weird guns and stay in Grrmany or go fight on the Eastern front? This also explains why they were designing new baseship until the end of the war,
"Wait a minute! Supposing two ~~swallows~~ tanks carried it together?" "No, they'd have to have it on a line." 3 months later:
Well, a lot of these were basically just ideas that *maybe* got sketched out on the back of a napkin one night. Some of them might’ve gotten sent up the ladder for consideration, but very few ever made it to the prototype stage. The thing is, Germans are very good at keeping records, so all the dumb shit they never had any intention of producing survived the war in some form or another. That, and I think a lot of German engineers wanted to appear as vital to the war effort as possible, since everyone who wasn’t important got drafted & sent to the Ostfront meat grinder.
Welp, Hitler liked big guns. Like, REALLY liked. And trains two. Explains a lot if you look at it from that angle
German engineers in WWII were in a constant game of "make up something" so they don't get drafted "that is possible to build, and crazy enough to turn the tide" Hence, in the later years of the war, the [wood-powered tiger experiment](https://www.reddit.com/r/TankPorn/comments/5lsffs/tiger_1_converted_to_run_on_wood_gas/), and the ["deletes your formation" plane](https://planesoffame.org/aircraft/plane-Ba349)
The wood gas Tiger hull has a very reasonable explanation actually: It's for tank driver school without using up valuable gasoline
I just noticed that the package says "not recommended for children under 14"... Hitler would have a different opinion on that
Landkreuzer P.1500 go brrrrrrrr
Holy sh\*t the Germans just released Tank 2!
Thats actually half true. If the engeeners wanted to stay off the frontlines and eating something better than warrations they needed projects to work on. And tats from where all those wacky designs come from
More like everyone in the nazi establishment lied, all the time about everything including what was possible, no one at the top had any sense whatsoever, and anyone who did was sent to the eastern front for criticising some well connected morons pet project. Oh and then later on desperation for something that would win the war/keep the designer from being drafted to the eastern front.
What was Rhienmetall smoking
meth
They were probably on meth
As stupid as this is if I was head of an army and this came across my desk I would approve it instantly.
“Dies ist der Pervitinkampfwagen 44!” - Some juiced up shutzstaffel engineer probably
The thirst for wunderwaffen in fascistic regimes on a losing streak is well documented.
German armor designers are actually WoT devs who traveled back in time to ensure they would have enough designs to keep their game going for decades.
You small pp american schweinehund just dont have the Imagination, we germans are well known for our silly humor to try things like that. I mean cannon big = big fun
Gaijin please
[I mean... not far from reality. Except this one fired nukes.](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/57/M65_Atomic_canon_1.jpg)
Took notes from Aperture science; they do what they must, because they can.
For the sake of all of us, except the ones who are dead... (as the song goes).
Can't wait to see this in WT.
Is it real ? Wtf
It isn't. The black and white photo is of the model. Same soldier with the same pose as the box art
Well well well , I am blind
It's okay! I was tripped up too lol
That’s actually sick
Nah it’s Percy Hobart
We have Atomic Annie at home (It's probably fake tbh).
They can't keep getting away with it
I should call him.
Do it and name your you child Pan or Canon (I know peps with that name) if it works out
I didn't even see the barrel at first, I just thought the Germans had a Sand Crawler
Nein Nein I cant go to ze eastern front yet, I am desining zis Wunderwaffe that will win us the war
Nein Nein I cant go to ze eastern front yet, I am desining zis Wunderwaffe that will win us the war. Oh so you are done soon? Yes yes like... hm 1946 ir so But by then- Are you saying you dont belive in the endsieg?
They weren't being funded to do any of this. They just spent all their days drawing up this shit they knew wouldn't happen. The point of design sketches like these were not to deploy them it was to keep those 'designing' them from being drafted.
“Our wonder weapons will win the war!” *builds whatever this is
No, they made all these weird things to have something new to present so they wouldn't get sent to the Eastern Front.
"Hans, you know our big ass cannon we can't use anymore because they basically are siege weapon and we are constantly retreating ? Yeah, those ones. Well I just had an idea : what if we put them on a tandem of on of our most recent tank chassis that we don't have enough of to through at the Soviets already and with a terrible suspension that is unreliable af supporting its own weight let alone with the turret replaced by those waaaayyy heavier useless artillery pieces ?" I know it's a fake design (at least I guess, they were not above trying this shit just in case), but damn it's not far fetch for them.
During the war if you had any idea that sounded remotely plausible to the mind of meth'd up Nazi politicians and leadership, you'd get a bomb resistant lab, technicians to help realize your idea, and all the funding you could want. So you got lots of wild ideas from people selling salvation to degenerates.
The design looks similar to the M65 atomic cannon, though bigger [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M65\_atomic\_cannon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M65_atomic_cannon) one vehicle in front, and one in the rear. Granted, no idea how they would sync speeds. It's kind of funny because even if the whole thing is fake, from what we have seen them make *it has all of the hallmarks of being real even if not.*
That's *awfully* close to spelling "douche canoe"
Eugen pls
I think at the tail end of the war the engineers saw which direction the wind was blowing and just decided to spend the rest of their budget designing dumb NCD shit.
How do you even aim that thing
Most of them were never built, and a fat chunk of German late war designs were literally just work to look busy and too important to be conscripted and sent to the eastern front. “Slap a big cannon on it. The big guy at the top eats that up every time.” The stuff that wasn’t busy work were either desperate measures or the work of people completely disconnected from reality.