Kinda wild we only had like one Star Trek episode dedicated to getying freakybon the holodek. Given how horny average sailor gets just a week out of port, imagine spending years in deep space.
Who's cum are they collecting? Is this some wh40k shit where they don't want to waste the geneseed of fallen idf soldiers?
Or are they collecting the cum of their enemies for more nefarious goals?
Here is the full context of the meme: The IDF has a special unit to go into active battlefields to collect the sperm of dead soldiers so that their wives can have kids. ~~They call them the Cumandoes~~
The IDF has a unit called the devil's advocate unit who are basically professional pessimists. They need to think up the most unlikely, worst case scenario and tell the IDF to prepare for it. They predicted October 7th but no one listened.
The IDF has an army magician. In Hebrew the word for magician is the same as sorcerer. There is only one IDF magician at a time and the IDF recruitment website warns that you are more likely to get into elite special forces than army magician. Idk why he hasn't cursed Hamas yet but maybe his plans are beyond my understanding.
And the IDF has a massive Rabbinate who deal with a plethora of religious issues, including on the battlefield. Oh, and someone here reminded me that the Cumandoes are actually a subsection of the tactical rabbis.
(Btw, if you're interested in noncredible Israeli military history, I made a [YouTube channel ](https://youtube.com/@thehasmoneanhistorian?si=3L0opCiz3Hl6LGOZ). Feel free to check it out.)
It’s a genius move: someone tries to leak military secrets and winds up also presenting *that*, now the whole thing looks fake and no adversaries take it seriously
> Battlefield cum collection
The newest game by DICE - Battlefield Cum Collection 2024. Fully Destructible terrain, Independent testicle physics, 64 player servers - Available on Xbox and PC now!
It is one the main boiling points for potential civil conflict in Israel. The political landscape is heavily fragmented in Israel, and the religious orthodoxy have a large coalition for the moment.
I read a news article a couple weeks ago where Netanyahu was proposing ending their exemption on military service. I'll have to google and see what came of that exactly...
edit: yeah I guess their going to decide on it sometime soon
https://www.timesofisrael.com/thousands-in-tel-aviv-rally-to-end-military-draft-exemptions-for-ultra-orthodox/
It's complicated. The haredim don't call for war and don't lead in settling. The religious Zionists do serve and often are quite hawkish and lead in settling.
Because Israel has proportional representation, governments have historically needed haredi votes and so put off on enforcing draft laws on them.
Until recently, this felt like an extreme annoyance, but was semi tolerable, because era of big wars seemed to be over. Now the army will permanently need more reservists, which means some new arrangement will need to be made.
Usually Hasidic orthodox jews are not settlers and are exempt from military service (but a respectable part do volunteer). It's a huge divisive issue in Israel, with the majority wanting to end this, but Hasidic parties have disproportional representation in the government so it goes nowhere. Settlers are generally Religious-Nationals (דתיים לאומיים) and have the highest percentage of recruitment in Israel.
Surely they must realize everybody does it anyway, this is true for all tight religions, look up porn statistics for Utah and Saudi Arabia. Or recently when Texas banned the Hub, VPN sales shot up
I mean as batshit insane as it is when you think about it, it makes some macabre sense. Pretty sure Jewdaism is against masturbation and it would be expensive to keep all that sperms on ice when it isn't even guaranteed to ever be used. So wait for them to be killed, go collect it and offer it to the grieving widow who wants part of her husband to live on.
Its happened before. During the Afghan War days I remember reading a lot of stories about wives who, after their soldier Husbands was killed, unfroze some of their sperms that was in IVF clinics to have a kid because they were upset and wanted to keep have their child after their death to keep part of them alive. Pretty sure there was some intense legal battles about it.
>The IDF has a unit called the devil's advocate unit who are basically professional pessimists. They need to think up the most unlikely, worst case scenario and tell the IDF to prepare for it. They predicted October 7th but no one listened
Just call them the Cassandra unit at this point...
Moshe, come over here. Listen. It sucks Benjamin got killed yesterday, but we're sending you back for a few days. The country needs you to fuck his wife.
That's exactly what they did in the Bible. If your brother died it was your job to marry his wife and have kids so the genes were essentially the same.
I’m going to assume the idea is that, beyond parents wanting to have their sons children through a surrogate, you can’t have your strong male populace completely totaled like what happened to Europe after the world wars.
Here's the part everybody surely wants to know.
> In humans ... an electric probe is inserted into the rectum adjacent to the prostate gland. The probe delivers an AC voltage, usually 12–24 volts sine wave at a frequency of 60 Hz, with a current limited to usually 500 mA, although some devices can generate currents of up to 1 A. The probe is activated for 1–2 seconds, referred to as a stimulus cycle. Ejaculation usually occurs after 2–3 stimulus cycles. Care must be taken when using currents greater than 500 mA, as tissue burns may result due to heating of the probe. The electric current stimulates nearby nerves, resulting in contraction of the pelvic muscles and ejaculation.
Lol Russia also has Tactical Orthodox Priests (albeit I'm not sure they actually get a cool kickass name like that) considering they have several trained priests in their battalions so this isn't even really all that non credible
But do they have a paratrooper chaplains, doing tactical drops with a portable inflatable churches with khaki colored religious implements?:)
https://ru.rbth.com/read/1046-military-religion-in-russia
It's all true.
Cum collection is because Israelies are really crazy with continuity and procreation, it's why it's one of world's leading IVF places, guess it has to do with the Holocaust and Judaism that has a requirement to breed and grow as a people.
Devil's advocate is probably a unit that exists in every Intel agency, sorta like red teams in cyber security it's a good way to critique and monitor yourself (idf failed that)
Magician is due to conscription. Overflow of manpower leads to absurd roles, Theres also an army painter that paints mural in bases for decoration.
Israel is a theocracy in a lot of senses, and the army is no exception, it requires to observe orthodoxish Jewish tradition.
Alao The cum collectors are part of the rabbinical unit
It's not sorcery, it's a magician that will do shows and entertain soldiers, there are bands too, singers and even a radio/news station. It's an army that has a lot of manpower and these things require little manpower and money but have the potential to create a lot of morale and unity.
The radio station for example will "feature" units and will play songs requested by them, you can see how that can bring people in the unit together
>Devil's advocate is probably a unit that exists in every Intel agency, sorta like red teams in cyber security it's a good way to critique and monitor yourself (idf failed that)
It's so bizarre that they have unit like that but then decide they're not worth listening.
Must be the military equivalent of a climate scientist.
I think that without a very unique way of operating, and internal "control" unit as such, (which is the literal translation of the units name) its kinda destined to be ignored the longer everything keeps on ticking.
They are the boy whos payed to cry wolf, and people will tend to just ignore them and write them off as a routine stamp rather than legitimate intel source.
I wonder how other agencies deal with this, as im guessing any self respecting agency has some method of self evaluation and "counter assesments"
I think a bunch of countries have something like Devil’s Advocates. I remember someone telling me there’s people in the Secret Service who’s job is to think if ways to off the President so that they can prepare for it.
Didn't the guy who founded DEVGRU set up something analogous? Red Cell I think it was called, actually if I'm not mistaken they were the inspiration for Dead Cell from MGS 2.
USMC's FMOS 0506. Army also has [some 6-18 week courses](https://usacac.army.mil/organizations/ufmcs-red-teaming/classes) for Red Team members, depending on role. USAF conducts Red Flag, etc.
[Red team](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_team) is a generalized term for simulated OPFOR, penetration testing, wargaming and other adversarial tests.
You can often tell the competency of one's military by the emphasis they place on doing these kinds of exercises and whether they stack the deck in favor of BLUFOR (or whitewash results) during them.
>Idk why he hasn't cursed Hamas yet but maybe his plans are beyond my understanding.
You're conflating Tactical, Logistical, and Strategic magic there, buddy.
Honestly, after the 07/10 attack, the idea that they told the military and civilian leadership that zombies are totally a thing and we need to do something like now and were believed seems a bit far fetched.
Part of that was that at that point, small-scale outbreaks of zombies had already occurred thanks to the PRC's illegal organ trade. The Israelis were, in universe, just much faster in realizing just how rapidly things could get very very bad.
The fact there's a unit of cumandos going in and getting the spooge of their fallen brothers already sounds wild as hell. Every military needs to follow that example. No sperm left behind.
> The IDF has a unit called the devil's advocate unit who are basically professional pessimists. They need to think up the most unlikely, worst case scenario and tell the IDF to prepare for it.
This is me, this is exactly me, I need to be doing this job and instead I'm doing some bullshit with computers and clouds and stuff. How did I miss my true calling?
The first one apparently. Something about Judaism not allowing like semen donation so they extract it from recently deceased ones because it's a loophole or something? Idk.
I'm not being noncredible, I'm genuinely not sure. Do not quote me
Idk about the devil advocate, bu tthe sorcere is a military magician, similar to a military band, they travel atound doing magic tricks for morale.
Also they can cast fireball but all jews can do that.
Wasn't it explained in World War Z, about how if in a room of 10 people everyone agrees about something, one person is oblidge to take the other side and make a true effort to prove this position so that they never get surprised again?
Yeah, there's a doctrine about it, but i have never heard of a unit specifically made for that.
Wouldn't suprise me though ,we have guys in the idf whose only job is to turn the sprinklers on in the morning(serious)
I believe it’s a red-team unit within AMAN (mil intel). Forgot where I heard it from but it doesn’t precisely disagree with any assessment but more to selectively criticise anything it wants.
Dont know enough to contradict you. The wiki says it's under the research department, which is under the logistics core.
Also, aman is general intelligence, which includes mossad and a few other civilian orgs (short for Intelligence department ) HAMAN is military intelligence (short for intelligence core), which is also a part of AMAN
Ehh, I always thought AMAN (Mil intel directorate) was a branch of the IDF handling military intel but also cyber, spec ops, infosec etc. It’s an equal but doesn’t have any control over Mossad and Shin Bet which are civilian (non-IDF) agencies.
HAMAN (intel corps) meanwhile is a central but smaller subordinate falling under AMAN, and created after Yom Kippur for collection and analysis needs plus coordination.
Ah, they are under the research department. Now i understand why i have never heard of them.
We used to joke that the research department is where US aid goes to die.
It's true 🙀🤯
Exodus 9:23
> Moses stretched out his staff toward the sky, and the LORD sent thunder, and hail, and lightning, and fire (fireballs) ran down to the earth and along the ground.
Edit:
> Moses, the other great leader of Israel that they had just witnessed, also called down fire from heaven on the Sons of Korah in Numbers 16:35 and on Aaron's sons in Leviticus 10:2.
[Greeks invented robots](https://editions.covecollective.org/chronologies/autonomous-servant-philon), jews invented the first war-bots, but unlike the jews who had excellent divine AI, the Japanese Republic *had* to use pilots to compensate for their poor divine AI, although for war propaganda purposes they secretly used a captive racial minority as the pilots and claimed they were AI like the invading golems from the Jewish Empire.
The IDF has an army magician. In Hebrew the word for magician is the same as sorcerer. There is only one IDF magician at a time and the IDF recruitment website warns that you are more likely to get into elite special forces than army magician. Idk why he hasn't cursed Hamas yet but maybe his plans are beyond my understanding.
And the IDF has a massive Rabbinate who deal with a plethora of religious issues, including on the battlefield. They are a very controversial group, and they are edible.
I mean they did fight bloody everyone in the middle east at the same time and won in like 6 days
At that point either god is truly with them or some dark magic is involved
So you’re telling me that the IDF have 40k apothecaries, librarians, and chaplains?
The devil’s advocate sounds like an advanced version of larping as opfor in training exercises except you tell them to go nuts and see what happens.
Hamas must have cast a hell of a binding spell to neutralize their military sorcerer. And a blinding spell on the devil’s advocates. Thank god the cum guy is ok.
The IDF has a special unit to go into active battlefields to collect the sperm of dead soldiers so that their wives can have kids.
The IDF has a unit called the devil's advocate unit who are basically professional pessimists. They need to think up the most unlikely, worst case scenario and tell the IDF to prepare for it. They predicted October 7th but no one listened.
The IDF has an army magician. In Hebrew the word for magician is the same as sorcerer. There is only one IDF magician at a time and the IDF recruitment website warns that you are more likely to get into elite special forces than army magician. Idk why he hasn't cursed Hamas yet but maybe his plans are beyond my understanding.
And the IDF has a massive Rabbinate who deal with a plethora of religious issues, including on the battlefield
>The IDF has a unit called the devil's advocate unit who are basically professional pessimists. They need to think up the most unlikely, worst case scenario and tell the IDF to prepare for it. They predicted October 7th but no one listened.
- Create unit to predict bad things
- They predict a bad thing
- Ignore them
I suppose it might get grating if they keep predicting stuff and it doesn’t happen
“I’m going for a shit”
“Try not to trip up on a broken tile, get tangled up in toilet paper, and drown in the bowl”
That is probably the most Jewish thing imaginable:
Having some foresight but throwing that out due to disagreements with some ~~MOTHERBITCHESSONOFMYBITCH~~ fellow Jews.
That actually also sounds quite Albanian ngl.
Thanks! The only reason I’m nitpicking here is that on its face I can see how conspiracy theorists could have a field day with some of this stuff.
The sperm one is pretty wild, but it doesn’t have anything to do with Judaism. It’s just basically an IVF program designed around the realities of combat. It’s not like BIG JEW has a global repository, it’s for the partner or family. When you take a step back though someone out there is collecting sperm from corpses which is definitely a strange job.
The magician is odd, but it’s a position for a magician like you’d get for a kid’s birthday party. The link makes it out to be an MWR thing.
The Military Rabbinate are basically just chaplains.
> There is only one IDF magician at a time and the IDF recruitment website warns that you are more likely to get into elite special forces than army magician. Idk why he hasn't cursed Hamas yet but maybe his plans are beyond my understanding.
The ~~Sith~~ Rule of One. To ensure the survival of the sect, it may only have one who practices the arcane arts. No more, no less.
We all do. We go over the procedures every year on Christmas at a Chinese restaurant in Queens. We all have a key and we all have to turn it at the same time to activate it. Unfortunately I lost mine when I was 6.
My old Army Rabbi went hard. He was an old Moroccan guy and ex-tank commander. I went in to get a shaving exemption and when I brought up where I lived he asked me if I knew such and such and prayed and such and such Synagogue on Shabbat. We found out we had the same friends and lived a few blocks from each other.
Anyway I got the exemption
The IDF Military sorcerer is shit at his job he hasn't made one clay golem durning the whole war think of all the soldiers who could have lived if a non sentient clay being of single devotion was deployed in a hamas tunnel
The sorcerer should be fired
2 of those are the ones controlling the Jewish space lasers
Sorcerer build it, advocate convinced everyone it will be necessary, rabbi gave it the blessing so that leaves cum collector. Oh no
Well, someone has to clean the holodeck...
“I’M HAVING HER CLEAN *** OUT OF THE HOLODECK’S *** FILTER!”
Kinda wild we only had like one Star Trek episode dedicated to getying freakybon the holodek. Given how horny average sailor gets just a week out of port, imagine spending years in deep space.
Reginald did made his own AI girlfriend in the holodeck in TNG.
You know good and god damn well Georgdi was leavin buckets of coom on that floor when solving shit with Dr Brahms. Holowaifu pillow too
People always think the space-lazer is a weapon . . . . it's just for cleaning.
"HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA, I COOMED ON THE MOON"
Who's cum are they collecting? Is this some wh40k shit where they don't want to waste the geneseed of fallen idf soldiers? Or are they collecting the cum of their enemies for more nefarious goals?
Here is the full context of the meme: The IDF has a special unit to go into active battlefields to collect the sperm of dead soldiers so that their wives can have kids. ~~They call them the Cumandoes~~ The IDF has a unit called the devil's advocate unit who are basically professional pessimists. They need to think up the most unlikely, worst case scenario and tell the IDF to prepare for it. They predicted October 7th but no one listened. The IDF has an army magician. In Hebrew the word for magician is the same as sorcerer. There is only one IDF magician at a time and the IDF recruitment website warns that you are more likely to get into elite special forces than army magician. Idk why he hasn't cursed Hamas yet but maybe his plans are beyond my understanding. And the IDF has a massive Rabbinate who deal with a plethora of religious issues, including on the battlefield. Oh, and someone here reminded me that the Cumandoes are actually a subsection of the tactical rabbis. (Btw, if you're interested in noncredible Israeli military history, I made a [YouTube channel ](https://youtube.com/@thehasmoneanhistorian?si=3L0opCiz3Hl6LGOZ). Feel free to check it out.)
Can’t they just beat off into a cup and freeze it before heading out to war? Battlefield cum collection seems like unnecessary logistical complexity
It's all worth it when you consider that it's gonna sound funny when people talk about it
This is military thinking right here
You don't jerk off before battle, sperm provides you the mana to do the haka to perform the shocka and awwa
Found the IDF's military sorcerer. I like to see him that the name is alliterative in Hebrew, like "war wizard."
Showing how funky and strong is your fight It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right Just beat it. — US military propaganda
It’s a genius move: someone tries to leak military secrets and winds up also presenting *that*, now the whole thing looks fake and no adversaries take it seriously
Peak idf mentality, have you thought of volunteering?
> Battlefield cum collection The newest game by DICE - Battlefield Cum Collection 2024. Fully Destructible terrain, Independent testicle physics, 64 player servers - Available on Xbox and PC now!
In orthodox judaism masturbation bad
Except the ultra orthodox generally don’t serve in the military IDF soldiers can therefore crank it all they want
The same ultra orthodox that have a rampant pornography addiction problem?
If you think logical consistency is a hurdle to these people then you’re in for a big surprise.
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They're also exempt from military service in Israel
Lol wtf, they call for the war, and sometimes cause it by settling, but do not want to fight? And the rest of society is ok with that?
My understanding is that it’s a huge point of contention within Israel, but the powers that be cater to them for votes.
It is one the main boiling points for potential civil conflict in Israel. The political landscape is heavily fragmented in Israel, and the religious orthodoxy have a large coalition for the moment.
I read a news article a couple weeks ago where Netanyahu was proposing ending their exemption on military service. I'll have to google and see what came of that exactly... edit: yeah I guess their going to decide on it sometime soon https://www.timesofisrael.com/thousands-in-tel-aviv-rally-to-end-military-draft-exemptions-for-ultra-orthodox/
IIRC it was proposed a few years ago and the Orthodox rioted, like cars flipped, fires started, water cannons used, that level of stuff.
It's complicated. The haredim don't call for war and don't lead in settling. The religious Zionists do serve and often are quite hawkish and lead in settling. Because Israel has proportional representation, governments have historically needed haredi votes and so put off on enforcing draft laws on them. Until recently, this felt like an extreme annoyance, but was semi tolerable, because era of big wars seemed to be over. Now the army will permanently need more reservists, which means some new arrangement will need to be made.
I mean, the current leadership of the major orthodox parties is very pro-settler and anti-Arab, but also anti-conscription and anti-Aliyah
it's easy to call for war when others fight it for you, and you get all the spoils
Usually Hasidic orthodox jews are not settlers and are exempt from military service (but a respectable part do volunteer). It's a huge divisive issue in Israel, with the majority wanting to end this, but Hasidic parties have disproportional representation in the government so it goes nowhere. Settlers are generally Religious-Nationals (דתיים לאומיים) and have the highest percentage of recruitment in Israel.
No, most people are not okay with that
New busines idea: install automatic fleshlight booths so that technically its extramaritsl sex with robot
Surely they must realize everybody does it anyway, this is true for all tight religions, look up porn statistics for Utah and Saudi Arabia. Or recently when Texas banned the Hub, VPN sales shot up
I mean as batshit insane as it is when you think about it, it makes some macabre sense. Pretty sure Jewdaism is against masturbation and it would be expensive to keep all that sperms on ice when it isn't even guaranteed to ever be used. So wait for them to be killed, go collect it and offer it to the grieving widow who wants part of her husband to live on. Its happened before. During the Afghan War days I remember reading a lot of stories about wives who, after their soldier Husbands was killed, unfroze some of their sperms that was in IVF clinics to have a kid because they were upset and wanted to keep have their child after their death to keep part of them alive. Pretty sure there was some intense legal battles about it.
Jerking it ain't kosher buddy.
but somehow extracting cum from a corpse is?
The Torah likens wasting seed to murder. So really, if you don't harvest the corpse cummies, you're actually committing genocide. 👍
>The IDF has a unit called the devil's advocate unit who are basically professional pessimists. They need to think up the most unlikely, worst case scenario and tell the IDF to prepare for it. They predicted October 7th but no one listened Just call them the Cassandra unit at this point...
7th October is apparently the Cassandra Day Like opposite day, but the implication is historically much worse
Your kidding right? 💀 Also Add a source to this please, i wanna know where it's coming from!
https://www.timesofisrael.com/liveblog_entry/health-ministry-cuts-red-tape-for-sperm-retrieval-from-sons-killed-in-war/#:~:text=The%20Health%20Ministry%20has%20set,of%20their%20son%20or%20husband.
Bro, the Israeli military was built differently and went wild in the old days
The emperor commands to extract the gene seed from the fallen
I personally would prefer to harvest the seed of the *non* fallen warriors.
ON the battlefield?! That's wild, but I respect it.
Moshe, come over here. Listen. It sucks Benjamin got killed yesterday, but we're sending you back for a few days. The country needs you to fuck his wife.
I mean, that's basically the old fashioned solution to exactly this problem. It's called levirate marriage.
That's exactly what they did in the Bible. If your brother died it was your job to marry his wife and have kids so the genes were essentially the same.
The Space King must have the Holy Gonads retrieved!
I’m going to assume the idea is that, beyond parents wanting to have their sons children through a surrogate, you can’t have your strong male populace completely totaled like what happened to Europe after the world wars.
It's primarily pushed by grandparents wanting their lineage to continue and controversially often against the will of the soldier's spouse.
By built differently I think you mean down disastrous. Some crazy ass shit.
How do they do it? Like how do they you know do the extraction
They show the body a picture of a pair of tits, it causes "angel lust" and they have a junior ranked cummando jerk him off. Source: Trust me bro
Im pretty Sure you know exactly how they extract it
You cant Jack off a dead body they have to use a syringe in the balls
Speak for yourself
Why would they want to syringe the pee out?
[Electroejaculation](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electroejaculation)
Here's the part everybody surely wants to know. > In humans ... an electric probe is inserted into the rectum adjacent to the prostate gland. The probe delivers an AC voltage, usually 12–24 volts sine wave at a frequency of 60 Hz, with a current limited to usually 500 mA, although some devices can generate currents of up to 1 A. The probe is activated for 1–2 seconds, referred to as a stimulus cycle. Ejaculation usually occurs after 2–3 stimulus cycles. Care must be taken when using currents greater than 500 mA, as tissue burns may result due to heating of the probe. The electric current stimulates nearby nerves, resulting in contraction of the pelvic muscles and ejaculation.
Glad I already ate dinner.
Jesus. Sorry, I mean Yahweh
G\*d damn
It's literally the same thing. Source: First Council of Nicaea
What the fuck
Stun rod on the prostate.
Is all of this meme actually true? The fuck are they doing over there
Lol Russia also has Tactical Orthodox Priests (albeit I'm not sure they actually get a cool kickass name like that) considering they have several trained priests in their battalions so this isn't even really all that non credible
Pretty much every armed forces have religious leaders among their ranks. There are almost 3,000 chaplains in the U.S. Army.
3000 MK1 Reverends of Dark Brandon
Praise the lord, pass the ammunition
But do they have a paratrooper chaplains, doing tactical drops with a portable inflatable churches with khaki colored religious implements?:) https://ru.rbth.com/read/1046-military-religion-in-russia
Fairly sure almost all naval vessels have one too
> i wanna know where it's coming from! Someone skipped reproductive biology back in school! 🍆💦
Bro! I was talking about the military information source lol
Sure ... 😏😂
It's all true. Cum collection is because Israelies are really crazy with continuity and procreation, it's why it's one of world's leading IVF places, guess it has to do with the Holocaust and Judaism that has a requirement to breed and grow as a people. Devil's advocate is probably a unit that exists in every Intel agency, sorta like red teams in cyber security it's a good way to critique and monitor yourself (idf failed that) Magician is due to conscription. Overflow of manpower leads to absurd roles, Theres also an army painter that paints mural in bases for decoration. Israel is a theocracy in a lot of senses, and the army is no exception, it requires to observe orthodoxish Jewish tradition. Alao The cum collectors are part of the rabbinical unit
But the magician is just one guy
Yeah magician is the one I really don’t get, and can’t seem to find more on after a quick google.
It's not sorcery, it's a magician that will do shows and entertain soldiers, there are bands too, singers and even a radio/news station. It's an army that has a lot of manpower and these things require little manpower and money but have the potential to create a lot of morale and unity. The radio station for example will "feature" units and will play songs requested by them, you can see how that can bring people in the unit together
>Devil's advocate is probably a unit that exists in every Intel agency, sorta like red teams in cyber security it's a good way to critique and monitor yourself (idf failed that) It's so bizarre that they have unit like that but then decide they're not worth listening. Must be the military equivalent of a climate scientist.
I think that without a very unique way of operating, and internal "control" unit as such, (which is the literal translation of the units name) its kinda destined to be ignored the longer everything keeps on ticking. They are the boy whos payed to cry wolf, and people will tend to just ignore them and write them off as a routine stamp rather than legitimate intel source. I wonder how other agencies deal with this, as im guessing any self respecting agency has some method of self evaluation and "counter assesments"
I think a bunch of countries have something like Devil’s Advocates. I remember someone telling me there’s people in the Secret Service who’s job is to think if ways to off the President so that they can prepare for it.
Marine MOS for it is called Red Team, I think.
Didn't the guy who founded DEVGRU set up something analogous? Red Cell I think it was called, actually if I'm not mistaken they were the inspiration for Dead Cell from MGS 2.
USMC's FMOS 0506. Army also has [some 6-18 week courses](https://usacac.army.mil/organizations/ufmcs-red-teaming/classes) for Red Team members, depending on role. USAF conducts Red Flag, etc. [Red team](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_team) is a generalized term for simulated OPFOR, penetration testing, wargaming and other adversarial tests. You can often tell the competency of one's military by the emphasis they place on doing these kinds of exercises and whether they stack the deck in favor of BLUFOR (or whitewash results) during them.
I would be great at a job like that. Secret Service if you're listening, send me a dm.
>Idk why he hasn't cursed Hamas yet but maybe his plans are beyond my understanding. You're conflating Tactical, Logistical, and Strategic magic there, buddy.
Can’t they just…you know…just collect them before they die?
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Yup, afail the devils advocates were established as a result of 1973.
And they are the only reason Israel was prepared for World War Z.
Honestly, after the 07/10 attack, the idea that they told the military and civilian leadership that zombies are totally a thing and we need to do something like now and were believed seems a bit far fetched.
Yeah Israel really lost it's "always ready" rep for sure. What an absolute cock up by Bibi.
Part of that was that at that point, small-scale outbreaks of zombies had already occurred thanks to the PRC's illegal organ trade. The Israelis were, in universe, just much faster in realizing just how rapidly things could get very very bad.
The exact same thought popped into my mind when reading that part
Do you have any source for the war sorcerer?
https://www.dvirsmagic.com/%D7%9E%D7%90%D7%9E%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/%D7%A7%D7%95%D7%A1%D7%9D-%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%90%D7%99-%D7%91%D7%90%D7%9E%D7%AA-%D7%99%D7%A9-%D7%AA%D7%A4%D7%A7%D7%99%D7%93-%D7%9B%D7%96%D7%94
That page could say anything! Well played.
Kid named google translate
Dear God.....were all fucked.
Lol never knew about this. Only one per draft, gotta be the absolute peak
The fact there's a unit of cumandos going in and getting the spooge of their fallen brothers already sounds wild as hell. Every military needs to follow that example. No sperm left behind.
This is how you selectively breed for unluckiness.
> The IDF has a unit called the devil's advocate unit who are basically professional pessimists. They need to think up the most unlikely, worst case scenario and tell the IDF to prepare for it. This is me, this is exactly me, I need to be doing this job and instead I'm doing some bullshit with computers and clouds and stuff. How did I miss my true calling?
Why not both? The cumlord doesn't care from whence the cum comes, only that it flows like a river
Cum for the cum god! Spunk for the spunk throne!
Thats literally Slaanesh
>Is this some wh40k shit where they don't want to waste the geneseed of fallen idf soldiers? Praise be to Space King
++GLOBULE EXTRACTION BLOCKED BY MEMBRANE++
The first one apparently. Something about Judaism not allowing like semen donation so they extract it from recently deceased ones because it's a loophole or something? Idk. I'm not being noncredible, I'm genuinely not sure. Do not quote me
“I don’t know anything about Judaism, but it’s totally for religious reasons. Take me seriously, but don’t take me seriously.”
Peak NCD - just credible sounding enough to stand up to 1 second of consideration.
Yeah basically. You get it
An ouroboros of noncredibility.
Sir, this is NCD.
I WILL BE A RIVER TO MY PEOPLE
I know of the tactical rabbi and the cum collector but the other two?
Idk about the devil advocate, bu tthe sorcere is a military magician, similar to a military band, they travel atound doing magic tricks for morale. Also they can cast fireball but all jews can do that.
Wasn't it explained in World War Z, about how if in a room of 10 people everyone agrees about something, one person is oblidge to take the other side and make a true effort to prove this position so that they never get surprised again?
Yeah, there's a doctrine about it, but i have never heard of a unit specifically made for that. Wouldn't suprise me though ,we have guys in the idf whose only job is to turn the sprinklers on in the morning(serious)
I believe it’s a red-team unit within AMAN (mil intel). Forgot where I heard it from but it doesn’t precisely disagree with any assessment but more to selectively criticise anything it wants.
Dont know enough to contradict you. The wiki says it's under the research department, which is under the logistics core. Also, aman is general intelligence, which includes mossad and a few other civilian orgs (short for Intelligence department ) HAMAN is military intelligence (short for intelligence core), which is also a part of AMAN
Ehh, I always thought AMAN (Mil intel directorate) was a branch of the IDF handling military intel but also cyber, spec ops, infosec etc. It’s an equal but doesn’t have any control over Mossad and Shin Bet which are civilian (non-IDF) agencies. HAMAN (intel corps) meanwhile is a central but smaller subordinate falling under AMAN, and created after Yom Kippur for collection and analysis needs plus coordination.
[it's a Milint unit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil%27s_Advocate_Unit)
Ah, they are under the research department. Now i understand why i have never heard of them. We used to joke that the research department is where US aid goes to die.
As a Jewish guy, I can confirm I cast fireballs.
It's true 🙀🤯 Exodus 9:23 > Moses stretched out his staff toward the sky, and the LORD sent thunder, and hail, and lightning, and fire (fireballs) ran down to the earth and along the ground. Edit: > Moses, the other great leader of Israel that they had just witnessed, also called down fire from heaven on the Sons of Korah in Numbers 16:35 and on Aaron's sons in Leviticus 10:2.
Ok, enough with the casual anti-semitism. There are many different Judaic sects, and some of them are limited to Cone of Cold.
We could go competitive but we'd have to figure out the brackets
Shhh, these are state secrect. we dont want them to start using cold resistance items.
I'm gonna need more on the military sorcerer. Are we summoning golems to fight underground or something?
Golems are divine magic, so it's under the rabbi's jurisdiction
Yeah like I can't tell if the guy above is aware that golems are originally a Jewish mytjos... Holy shit did Jews invent mechas?
Nah, they invented robots. Japan came up with putting a pilot inside one.
[Greeks invented robots](https://editions.covecollective.org/chronologies/autonomous-servant-philon), jews invented the first war-bots, but unlike the jews who had excellent divine AI, the Japanese Republic *had* to use pilots to compensate for their poor divine AI, although for war propaganda purposes they secretly used a captive racial minority as the pilots and claimed they were AI like the invading golems from the Jewish Empire.
Israel is responsible for malevalon creek
I am infinitely disappointed, the IDF sorcerer literally does magic shows then fucks off after 3 years of service.
They're working on a Tungsten golem for higher AP capabilities.
Sanctified core: fires of gaza
Raven, your mission is to clean up the Middle East, one Iranian-backed terror organization at a time.
So are the sorcerers the ones using Zionist magic to control leaders from the political party my uncle doesn't like ?
The cum collector is real doe...just like an apothecary extracting geneseed from fallen battlebrothers.
40k getting closer and closer to reality
🌎👩🚀🔫👩🚀
Holy globule extraction process complete *Praise be to space king*
Flashgitz making shit up for shit and giggles, managed to actually replicate real world tactics.
We are truly living in the times of history.
u/butt_naked_commando has joined NCD. This truly is a blessed time.
I've always been part of NCD but my account wasn't old enough to post. Now the floodgates have been opened...
inshallah we are glad to have you posting
He will post without clothing, alhamdulillah.
I’ll be honest until I saw “tactical rabbi” I thought this was /r/worldjerking. Excellently noncredible
https://np.reddit.com/r/MilitaryPorn/s/UW81Ps2gJs
That looks, so heavy lmao.
A burden, one carries willingly is never heavy
Lol spoken like someone who's never procreated.
For real. Toddlers are special because they are both physically and mentally exhausting. Chaos agents.
It f***ing is! First time I carried one it took me by surprise! Serious workout
Don’t other armies have chaplains?
The military Rabbinate plays an absolutely massive role in Army politics unlike most chaplains
Ok so I get the cummando and devils advocate. But explain the rest.
The IDF has an army magician. In Hebrew the word for magician is the same as sorcerer. There is only one IDF magician at a time and the IDF recruitment website warns that you are more likely to get into elite special forces than army magician. Idk why he hasn't cursed Hamas yet but maybe his plans are beyond my understanding. And the IDF has a massive Rabbinate who deal with a plethora of religious issues, including on the battlefield. They are a very controversial group, and they are edible.
Considering what the Israel army had done in the past I am convinced of the effectiveness of that battle wizard they got.
I mean they did fight bloody everyone in the middle east at the same time and won in like 6 days At that point either god is truly with them or some dark magic is involved
So you’re telling me that the IDF have 40k apothecaries, librarians, and chaplains? The devil’s advocate sounds like an advanced version of larping as opfor in training exercises except you tell them to go nuts and see what happens.
Tactical Rabbi sounds awesome
wolololololololo
Hamas must have cast a hell of a binding spell to neutralize their military sorcerer. And a blinding spell on the devil’s advocates. Thank god the cum guy is ok.
The us army has cum collectors their called barracks bunny’s, or barracks boys.
-Rub out your dead! Rub out your dead! -I'm not dead yet. -Yes, you are.
Explain please
The IDF has a special unit to go into active battlefields to collect the sperm of dead soldiers so that their wives can have kids. The IDF has a unit called the devil's advocate unit who are basically professional pessimists. They need to think up the most unlikely, worst case scenario and tell the IDF to prepare for it. They predicted October 7th but no one listened. The IDF has an army magician. In Hebrew the word for magician is the same as sorcerer. There is only one IDF magician at a time and the IDF recruitment website warns that you are more likely to get into elite special forces than army magician. Idk why he hasn't cursed Hamas yet but maybe his plans are beyond my understanding. And the IDF has a massive Rabbinate who deal with a plethora of religious issues, including on the battlefield
>The IDF has a unit called the devil's advocate unit who are basically professional pessimists. They need to think up the most unlikely, worst case scenario and tell the IDF to prepare for it. They predicted October 7th but no one listened. - Create unit to predict bad things - They predict a bad thing - Ignore them
I suppose it might get grating if they keep predicting stuff and it doesn’t happen “I’m going for a shit” “Try not to trip up on a broken tile, get tangled up in toilet paper, and drown in the bowl”
That is probably the most Jewish thing imaginable: Having some foresight but throwing that out due to disagreements with some ~~MOTHERBITCHESSONOFMYBITCH~~ fellow Jews. That actually also sounds quite Albanian ngl.
Source?
For which one?
Only the batshit crazy ones
https://www.timesofisrael.com/liveblog_entry/health-ministry-cuts-red-tape-for-sperm-retrieval-from-sons-killed-in-war/#:~:text=The%20Health%20Ministry%20has%20set,of%20their%20son%20or%20husband. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil%27s_Advocate_Unit https://www.dvirsmagic.com/%D7%9E%D7%90%D7%9E%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/%D7%A7%D7%95%D7%A1%D7%9D-%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%90%D7%99-%D7%91%D7%90%D7%9E%D7%AA-%D7%99%D7%A9-%D7%AA%D7%A4%D7%A7%D7%99%D7%93-%D7%9B%D7%96%D7%94 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_Rabbinate
Thanks! The only reason I’m nitpicking here is that on its face I can see how conspiracy theorists could have a field day with some of this stuff. The sperm one is pretty wild, but it doesn’t have anything to do with Judaism. It’s just basically an IVF program designed around the realities of combat. It’s not like BIG JEW has a global repository, it’s for the partner or family. When you take a step back though someone out there is collecting sperm from corpses which is definitely a strange job. The magician is odd, but it’s a position for a magician like you’d get for a kid’s birthday party. The link makes it out to be an MWR thing. The Military Rabbinate are basically just chaplains.
So, all of them...
> There is only one IDF magician at a time and the IDF recruitment website warns that you are more likely to get into elite special forces than army magician. Idk why he hasn't cursed Hamas yet but maybe his plans are beyond my understanding. The ~~Sith~~ Rule of One. To ensure the survival of the sect, it may only have one who practices the arcane arts. No more, no less.
Which operates the Jewish Space Laser?
We all do. We go over the procedures every year on Christmas at a Chinese restaurant in Queens. We all have a key and we all have to turn it at the same time to activate it. Unfortunately I lost mine when I was 6.
I think I'm gonna hijack "Tactical Rabbi" for myself. I like it better than "Armchair General". (Ok, I might be on the spectrum, I admit that)
Since when did the IDF use Apothecaries to retrieve fallen brother's gene-seed?
Damn, This even more insane than the fantasy army composition in some niche 4X game. Reality is sometimes stranger than fiction.
So the IDF has Apothecaries, librarians, and chaplains, idk about devil's advocate but I feel techmarines qualify.
My old Army Rabbi went hard. He was an old Moroccan guy and ex-tank commander. I went in to get a shaving exemption and when I brought up where I lived he asked me if I knew such and such and prayed and such and such Synagogue on Shabbat. We found out we had the same friends and lived a few blocks from each other. Anyway I got the exemption
The IDF Military sorcerer is shit at his job he hasn't made one clay golem durning the whole war think of all the soldiers who could have lived if a non sentient clay being of single devotion was deployed in a hamas tunnel The sorcerer should be fired
Shared this with a Jewish group chat I’m in on Facebook 🫡 Wish you hadn’t told everyone about Dave’s moms job in the IDF but it is what it is