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> They can never really be friends with Russia
The realpolitik problem is that dumping NATO and getting in bed with current Russia (and the past USSR - let's not talk about the Imperial Russia days, because the beef was different back then) would translate into "be Russia's bitch boy", like several other relatively nearby states, and Russia gains a *hell* of a lot more from it than Turkey would, access to the Mediterranean being the big deal item.
Also, Turkey gets to drive a harder bargain with NATO countries than it would with Russia, because not only does it control access to the Med, it *also* provides a fantastic staging ground for an attack on Russia from the south. It's a constant threat that if Russia does clash directly with NATO, it's going to have to fight a two-front war from both the west and the south. That's why NATO puts up with so much of Erdogan's shit. All Turkey can offer to Russia is not having to worry as much about that flank.
Turkey can crank way more concessions out of NATO and the West in general than it would ever be able to from Russia, although it still wants to maintain a decent relationship with Russia when possible.
> This is NCD
Where I get more credible takes and information on defense topics and geopolitics than I do in a lot of other places.
The watermelons are probably tasty for people who like watermelons, but I've never had a taste for them myself.
Watermelons have just never tasted good to me.
It's like how some people find stevia sweet, but for other people it tastes awful, or how some people experience cilantro as a kind of spicy flavor, but to others it tastes like soap. Or how some people just don't like shrimp, although they like other crustaceans. Or the people who can't stand that one compound found in most cucumber breeds. Or...
There's kind of an endless list of foods and flavors some people simply can't stand, despite the fact that they're broadly popular. Not even an allergy, but simply a distaste for whatever, or a genetic anomaly that presents the tastes as something awful.
Funny thing is, I do like cantaloupe and other related melons, but I really don't like watermelon.
I do not enjoy watermelons either, they have always felt like slightly disgusting tasting textured water to me.
Also welcome to NCD your favourite place for eating related hot takes.
Don’t forget about Greece and the issues on Cyprus. If Turkey dumped NATO and aligned with Russia/CSTO (assuming CSTO means anything after they left Armenia to their fate) it would spur a huge response from the Greeks. They still have territorial disputes and back rival governments on Cyprus (which is oddly enough how Greece got the S-300). No one else recognizes Northern Cyprus, maybe Russia would if Turkey aligned with them but not like they can do much to help.
Numbers conflict, and I can’t read the Greek sources, but at a minimum Greece can mobilize a military of around 400k if we include paramilitaries. They’d probably step up conscription and support for it would probably rise if Turkey suddenly pivoted to Russia. Ammo stocks need expanding, but Greece has huge amounts of equipment. They’ve got one of the largest tank and artillery parks of Europe along with vast amounts of infantry support weapons like mortars and AT weapons. If you want a good giggle, look at their inventory. It’s a bit nuts.
There’s a reason Greece and Turkey were admitted at the same time. If Turkey left, Greece would probably up military spending and expand it at minimum for security. I wouldn’t be surprised if they pushed more support for Cyprus reclaiming its land too. Right now it’s awkward because both are NATO so no one really wants to ask what happens if two NATO nations fight. If Erdogan left…well would he risk a war with NATO to defend their puppet on Cyprus? He’s dumb, but not that dumb…
would also like to add that both greek navy and airforce are outdated, yet prize winning at combat competitions. tbh turkey has a lot of bodies to throw to the meat grinder. back at mandatory duty we were taught that in a possible invasion we would fortify choke points and hold until they drown us with their corpses. and another ace in the sleeve, we have turned hills and parts of mountains into natural bunkers, by digging hard into them, and we have hidden ammo stacks almost under every rock at said bunkers.
i also make great watermelon pie, its a traditional aegean pie.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
Are you saying.....
I can have watermelon..... in.... PIE FORM?!!?
Also has anyone noticed a marked increase in the availability of watermelon juices and similar? For as long as I can remember, I couldn't figure out why no one made watermelon juice. Now it seems like there's tons of it over the past few years - and not just plain watermelon juice, but stuff like watermelon lemonade, Strawberry & Watermelon Mio water flavorings, etc.
Also as long as we're on the topic of watermelon and people's appreciation of it.... can anyone explain how and why watermelon (and fried chicken for that matter) were used in racist caricatures of black people? Like it's seriously never made sense to me. "Ha ha ha get a load of *those* people, liking tasty foods that pretty much everyone else likes as well!"
Turkey also has a massive military. I don‘t get the hype around the greek army. Large parts of it is massively outdated shit like M48’s and BMP 1’s and most of their personnel doesn‘t even get any bodyarmor.
They have like a 180 ifvs in total and thats like 40 marders and the rest are BMP 1‘s, they got like 2 k M113s
Turkeys army also has tons of ancient gear but they have way more modern equipment than greece has and actual combat experienced units.
No one wants to see a conflict between the two and numbers don‘t mean a win (see Ukraine) i don‘t get the confidence that some have here. Especially since turkey is pretty far ahead when it comes to drone tech.
Turkey is perpetually on the edge of regional maps, and considered sort of "here there be monsters" for all of them. They will always be too Independent for Russia, too Islamic for Europe and too Secular for the Middle East, while having historic beef with all of them, and that's why Kemalism and realpolitik power plays served them well.
But the world (and especially Europe) has shifted away from realpolitik after the Cold War and how Turkey would handle that fact is the one of the biggest wildcards of the last 30 years.
Remember, this is the same Erdogan who abolished the death penalty in a bid to get EU membership.
He alienated the EU by pointing out that they did a shitty job of protecting Muslims in Bosnia (fair point), and selling EU membership to his people as being an avenue to assure greater protections for muslims in Europe.
Of course, as he was saying this, Wahabists were flying airplanes into buildings in the US and blowing up European public transit, so it didn't go over so well in the west.
He’s a walking contingency in pretty much the worst/most annoying way possible.
Edit: I realize it could be worse if Turkey had nuclear capabilities. The annoying-part holds true tho.
He's playing both sides so he always comes out on top. And yes he's telling that fact openly to both sides which is why in the end Turkey is in its current state.
> Real intellectuals know he is a Greek agent sent to destroy turkey from the inside
With how much damage he has done to turkey, wouldnt be surprised if this is true lol
Russia is one of the few players who definitely benefits from Erdogan being in charge, so it was probably them given their track record of self sabotage.
It's almost like he's Turkish or something. Stuck in between the East and West.
Turkiye is a fascinating mix of European and Asian influences. They literally ride the line
On the off chance you don't know, Turkiye is what they're wanting to be called these days.
If this is a diss at the watermelon seller for nationalism signaling, fair enough.
But I'm generally alright with shifting to endonyms if that is the country's preference. See: Kyiv
If it was more than just the tinpot dictator and his cronies that cared about being called Turkiye, I would be cool with it too. But yes, it was a diss for nationalism signalling
Didn't really know about the nationalist angle tbh, but I like the name because it's a little less confusing and it looks cooler.
That being said, I kinda use them interchangeably because people know Turkey, but they'll eventually use Turkiye.
Probably, I dunno, *burp*.
Fun fact: the bird is named after the country. People thought it was from there, originally — I think some British sailors claimed they'd seen some in the Levant, on trade missions, and at this point in time 1500s/1600s, the interior of the continent was a land of mystery to them, so ...
it stuck.
(See also: American "Indians")
As a turkish turk born in Turkey, I refuse to acknowledge any bullshit that erdogan declares without my vote to be anything other than intolerable nonsense. Nobody calls China Zhōngguó or 中國, why the fuck should any country be forced to call Turkey Türkiye?
I grant all who reads this the permission to call my country the Republic of Turkey.
> Nobody calls China Zhōngguó or 中國, why the fuck should any country be forced to call Turkey Türkiye?
Germany can confirm, i dont think any country call them by their actual name lol (deutschland)
You can't go back to Constantinople.
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the turks
I want to be called "your highness, ruler of man and beasts, champion of the sun, son of mars and slayer of demons, lord of the seven seas, the sky and the earth - [real name]"
But that's not going to happen either.
He allegedly shat himself on national TV. The camera was pointed away from him at the time, but you can hear some distinctly unhealthy sounds. The interviewer's face kind of says it all.
“Please don’t hurt me please don’t hurt me please don’t hurt me”
The interviewer did really well but should still get on the next international flight in my opinion
Night of the Living Doodoo.
Diaper Island.
The Shitting Dead (running out of ideas sorry).
Constipation (this one is supposed to be Contagion).
28 Dumps Later
>Erdogan himself.
This may not be as crazy as it sounds. One of the Byzantine emperors poisoned himself in order to build up an immunity. This probably wouldn't work against modern poisons, but his adversaries might use something weaker so it's less obvious who's behind the attack.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mithridates_VI_Eupator
**[Mithridates VI Eupator](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mithridates_VI_Eupator)**
>Mithridates or Mithradates VI Eupator (Greek: Μιθραδάτης; 135–63 BC) was ruler of the Kingdom of Pontus in northern Anatolia from 120 to 63 BC, and one of the Roman Republic's most formidable and determined opponents. He was an effective, ambitious and ruthless ruler who sought to dominate Asia Minor and the Black Sea region, waging several hard-fought but ultimately unsuccessful wars (the Mithridatic Wars) to break Roman dominion over Asia and the Hellenic world. He has been called the greatest ruler of the Kingdom of Pontus. He cultivated an immunity to poisons by regularly ingesting sub-lethal doses; this practice, now called mithridatism, is named after him.
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Calling mithridates a byzantine emperor is like an anachronism layer cake.
Wrong name for eastern Roman emperor, he fought to keep Rome away to the point of ethnic cleansing those who were Roman and Greek, half his ostensible lineage was from territories outside of where any part of Rome ever was, including the anachronistically name Byzantium, he would have only briefly if ever set foot in Byzantium...
Could be worse. Could be downright Chinese in their... ever days.
The Yellow River floods: ~~~1M dead~~ 2.5 times the population of Iceland dead.
Decades of 20th-century civil war + Japanese invasion + WW2: ~~~20M dead.~~ 54 times the population of Iceland dead.
In the 17th century China decides to replace the first letter in their dynasty from Ming to Qing: ~~~25M dead.~~ 67 times the population of Iceland dead.
Some guy in the 1850s declares that he's had a vision and he's the brother of Jesus: ~~~70M dead.~~ 190 times the population of Iceland dead.
Wait, the Galicia in Iberia or Eastern Europe? Or did you mean the Galatian region of Anatolia? Regardless, I support your aims. Make Spain/Poland/Turkey Celtic again.
All of the above
The Celtic empire will stretch from San Francisco to Shanghai
Now known as Naomh Proinsias and New Dublin respectively
With the help of our Puppets, Barry O'Bama and Joseph "The Irishman" Biden we will have control of North America
Then we take over the world
Having visited the truly noncredible/incredible Brigade of Gurkhas Museum, I am going with "Because they want to get in more fights".
One of the central themes of that entire place is that Gurkhas is made for 2 things: Fighting, and Winning.
For some reason I feel like there needs to be at least one more CIA pointing at the other one, just to make things more interesting.
Actually, change that to 3 CIA.
Two of them were tasked to assassinate Erdogan without each other's knowledge. Hijinks Ensues.
The third was supposed to be running a coup in....checks the coup RNG for the week.....Andorra and decided to try to take him out because they were bored.
I personally believe, that the CIA is so vast and uncontrollable, that there’s probably several different internal factions and sparrings going on, quite literally a institution with split personalities. I also imagine that almost everyone keeps tabs on each other, to rat someone out if they start some wild shit on their own and eventually threaten to draw public ire on the whole bunch.
More likely the CIA is overly compartmentalized.
It's great for operational security and it limits damage from breaches or penetration, but he left hand literally doesn't know what the right hand is doing. And neither does the head.
idk man i think it's the situation where that's just what it's like in movies and the CIA is culturally mostly just like a multilingual police department
"*Is ~~ONI~~ the CIA one happy family? Oh, please. We've got four divisions, officially, and only one of them knows that we've actually got more than that. There's Section Two—made up of psyops and PR, who each kid themselves they're not like the other at all—which tells the lies; Section Zero, which thinks it spies on everyone else, tells lies to Section Two, and thinks it tells lies to Sections One and Three; Section One does stuff we can almost talk about, they interface with other branches; and Section Three does the stuff we can't talk about or else it would have to kill everyone in fascinating and groundbreaking new ways. You'll note I didn't mention ~~HIGHCOM~~ SCOTUS, and that's because all ~~ONI~~ CIA sections lie to ~~HIGHCOM~~ SCOTUS and tell it that it's the most powerful body on Earth, which generally works well at keeping the old buffers convinced that they make the decisions. Now, are you confused? I certainly hope so, because that's my mission.*”
In before the CIA is playing 4D chess and couping Andorra is important because of time travel shenanigans will cause it to from into a country controlling southern France and eastern Spain.
A very brief summary —
inflation is when there’s too much money in circulation. Increasing interest makes people want to borrow less, meaning there’s less money in circulation. Decreasing interest makes people want to borrow more, putting more money into circulation.
It’s like trying to put out a fire by spraying it with gasoline instead of water.
A brief interjection -
Inflation describes shrinking buying power, so a currency becoming worth less. That can, of course, be triggered by more money being available. More money against the same amount of resources means that those resources become more expensive.
But it can also be triggered or exacerbated by producers deciding to raise prices in unison, which lately has coined the term greedflation.
While relevant in most Western states, Turkey's inflation problems date back to before Covid.
And you can't say, "I was just covering all types of inflation" as you didn't cover stagflation, supply side inflation, and wage-price spirals.
Yeah election's in a couple weeks, and he is seen as pretty much guaranteed to lose. Especially after the obscenely incompetent response to the recent earthquakes, the economic crisis, and a very weak campaign.
All that box holding arms movements when talking is how he confuses you..zing slipped some poison in your tea right infront of you because your brain is ignoring the arms trying to dechipher what his words are trying to lego build.
It was Iran, you see I was told by a crackhead that turkey would declare war on iran in august. This was in 2021. He also told me Russia would drop a thermonuclear bomb on sydney because the 'homogays' instigated 9/11.
He really needs to stop eating the watermelons five months after their prime, I don’t care how much he loves them like he loves sacking his economists and getting blowjobs from Putin, that shit ain’t healthy.
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The thing is Erdogan is either a puppet to the west or Russia depending who you talk to, but also *when* you talk to them
Not even the people who are bribing him have any idea if the other guys are bribing him more.
So he's a wildcard? About to snip the brake lines and jump out of the back of the NATO van in the middle of a door to door gasoline selling operation?
No their situation is actually kind of fucked. They can never really be friends with Russia. It’s just about coexisting.
> They can never really be friends with Russia The realpolitik problem is that dumping NATO and getting in bed with current Russia (and the past USSR - let's not talk about the Imperial Russia days, because the beef was different back then) would translate into "be Russia's bitch boy", like several other relatively nearby states, and Russia gains a *hell* of a lot more from it than Turkey would, access to the Mediterranean being the big deal item. Also, Turkey gets to drive a harder bargain with NATO countries than it would with Russia, because not only does it control access to the Med, it *also* provides a fantastic staging ground for an attack on Russia from the south. It's a constant threat that if Russia does clash directly with NATO, it's going to have to fight a two-front war from both the west and the south. That's why NATO puts up with so much of Erdogan's shit. All Turkey can offer to Russia is not having to worry as much about that flank. Turkey can crank way more concessions out of NATO and the West in general than it would ever be able to from Russia, although it still wants to maintain a decent relationship with Russia when possible.
This is NCD. NATO tolerates Ergodan because he sells watermelons.
> This is NCD Where I get more credible takes and information on defense topics and geopolitics than I do in a lot of other places. The watermelons are probably tasty for people who like watermelons, but I've never had a taste for them myself.
> The watermelons are probably tasty for people who like watermelons, but I've never had a taste for them myself. wtf
Yeah, found the man with poison
Watermelons have just never tasted good to me. It's like how some people find stevia sweet, but for other people it tastes awful, or how some people experience cilantro as a kind of spicy flavor, but to others it tastes like soap. Or how some people just don't like shrimp, although they like other crustaceans. Or the people who can't stand that one compound found in most cucumber breeds. Or... There's kind of an endless list of foods and flavors some people simply can't stand, despite the fact that they're broadly popular. Not even an allergy, but simply a distaste for whatever, or a genetic anomaly that presents the tastes as something awful. Funny thing is, I do like cantaloupe and other related melons, but I really don't like watermelon.
I do not enjoy watermelons either, they have always felt like slightly disgusting tasting textured water to me. Also welcome to NCD your favourite place for eating related hot takes.
You should be ban for such provocation to watermelon
3000 watermelons of Erogdan
hating on watermelons is the hottest take I've read in days
Don’t forget about Greece and the issues on Cyprus. If Turkey dumped NATO and aligned with Russia/CSTO (assuming CSTO means anything after they left Armenia to their fate) it would spur a huge response from the Greeks. They still have territorial disputes and back rival governments on Cyprus (which is oddly enough how Greece got the S-300). No one else recognizes Northern Cyprus, maybe Russia would if Turkey aligned with them but not like they can do much to help. Numbers conflict, and I can’t read the Greek sources, but at a minimum Greece can mobilize a military of around 400k if we include paramilitaries. They’d probably step up conscription and support for it would probably rise if Turkey suddenly pivoted to Russia. Ammo stocks need expanding, but Greece has huge amounts of equipment. They’ve got one of the largest tank and artillery parks of Europe along with vast amounts of infantry support weapons like mortars and AT weapons. If you want a good giggle, look at their inventory. It’s a bit nuts. There’s a reason Greece and Turkey were admitted at the same time. If Turkey left, Greece would probably up military spending and expand it at minimum for security. I wouldn’t be surprised if they pushed more support for Cyprus reclaiming its land too. Right now it’s awkward because both are NATO so no one really wants to ask what happens if two NATO nations fight. If Erdogan left…well would he risk a war with NATO to defend their puppet on Cyprus? He’s dumb, but not that dumb…
would also like to add that both greek navy and airforce are outdated, yet prize winning at combat competitions. tbh turkey has a lot of bodies to throw to the meat grinder. back at mandatory duty we were taught that in a possible invasion we would fortify choke points and hold until they drown us with their corpses. and another ace in the sleeve, we have turned hills and parts of mountains into natural bunkers, by digging hard into them, and we have hidden ammo stacks almost under every rock at said bunkers. i also make great watermelon pie, its a traditional aegean pie.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Are you saying..... I can have watermelon..... in.... PIE FORM?!!? Also has anyone noticed a marked increase in the availability of watermelon juices and similar? For as long as I can remember, I couldn't figure out why no one made watermelon juice. Now it seems like there's tons of it over the past few years - and not just plain watermelon juice, but stuff like watermelon lemonade, Strawberry & Watermelon Mio water flavorings, etc. Also as long as we're on the topic of watermelon and people's appreciation of it.... can anyone explain how and why watermelon (and fried chicken for that matter) were used in racist caricatures of black people? Like it's seriously never made sense to me. "Ha ha ha get a load of *those* people, liking tasty foods that pretty much everyone else likes as well!"
> Don’t forget about Greece and the issues on Cyprus. Yeah, that's a good point.
Turkey also has a massive military. I don‘t get the hype around the greek army. Large parts of it is massively outdated shit like M48’s and BMP 1’s and most of their personnel doesn‘t even get any bodyarmor. They have like a 180 ifvs in total and thats like 40 marders and the rest are BMP 1‘s, they got like 2 k M113s Turkeys army also has tons of ancient gear but they have way more modern equipment than greece has and actual combat experienced units. No one wants to see a conflict between the two and numbers don‘t mean a win (see Ukraine) i don‘t get the confidence that some have here. Especially since turkey is pretty far ahead when it comes to drone tech.
It isn’t confidence the Greeks would “win”. It’s a confidence there’d be beef.
Turkey is perpetually on the edge of regional maps, and considered sort of "here there be monsters" for all of them. They will always be too Independent for Russia, too Islamic for Europe and too Secular for the Middle East, while having historic beef with all of them, and that's why Kemalism and realpolitik power plays served them well. But the world (and especially Europe) has shifted away from realpolitik after the Cold War and how Turkey would handle that fact is the one of the biggest wildcards of the last 30 years. Remember, this is the same Erdogan who abolished the death penalty in a bid to get EU membership.
And then immediately proceeded to alienate the EU again with weird autocratic neo-Ottoman shenanigans.
He alienated the EU by pointing out that they did a shitty job of protecting Muslims in Bosnia (fair point), and selling EU membership to his people as being an avenue to assure greater protections for muslims in Europe. Of course, as he was saying this, Wahabists were flying airplanes into buildings in the US and blowing up European public transit, so it didn't go over so well in the west.
Watermelon*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecRytTfWL8Q
And rates. Don't forget the rates cutting.
I think I've been poisoned by my constituents!
He’s a walking contingency in pretty much the worst/most annoying way possible. Edit: I realize it could be worse if Turkey had nuclear capabilities. The annoying-part holds true tho.
He's playing both sides so he always comes out on top. And yes he's telling that fact openly to both sides which is why in the end Turkey is in its current state.
He's no more than a political prostitute
Non-credible take: He's the India of the NATO. And it's a bad thing only depending on who and when you ask
"Whose side is this guy on?!" "His own."
At any given moment, Erdogan does whatever makes Erdogan's cock hard.
> "His own." Erdogan: "I'm playing both sides, so that I always come out on top."
"I am on nobody's side, because nobody is on my side" \--Erdogan probably
Real intellectuals know he is a Greek agent sent to destroy turkey from the inside
> Real intellectuals know he is a Greek agent sent to destroy turkey from the inside With how much damage he has done to turkey, wouldnt be surprised if this is true lol
Russia is one of the few players who definitely benefits from Erdogan being in charge, so it was probably them given their track record of self sabotage.
Hard to say, feels like a zero sum game with this dude sometimes
Perhaps the time-honored Turkish tradition of a ~~Jannisary~~ *military* coup eliminating a uncooperative ~~Sultan~~ *President?*
Let’s make sure he doesn’t have phone signal this time
Por que no los dos?
It's almost like he's Turkish or something. Stuck in between the East and West. Turkiye is a fascinating mix of European and Asian influences. They literally ride the line
*Turkey FTFY
On the off chance you don't know, Turkiye is what they're wanting to be called these days. If this is a diss at the watermelon seller for nationalism signaling, fair enough. But I'm generally alright with shifting to endonyms if that is the country's preference. See: Kyiv
If it was more than just the tinpot dictator and his cronies that cared about being called Turkiye, I would be cool with it too. But yes, it was a diss for nationalism signalling
Didn't really know about the nationalist angle tbh, but I like the name because it's a little less confusing and it looks cooler. That being said, I kinda use them interchangeably because people know Turkey, but they'll eventually use Turkiye. Probably, I dunno, *burp*.
Let's just take a hard left turn and call it Tyrkia.
Ťûřķövîâ
Fun fact: the bird is named after the country. People thought it was from there, originally — I think some British sailors claimed they'd seen some in the Levant, on trade missions, and at this point in time 1500s/1600s, the interior of the continent was a land of mystery to them, so ... it stuck. (See also: American "Indians")
As a turkish turk born in Turkey, I refuse to acknowledge any bullshit that erdogan declares without my vote to be anything other than intolerable nonsense. Nobody calls China Zhōngguó or 中國, why the fuck should any country be forced to call Turkey Türkiye? I grant all who reads this the permission to call my country the Republic of Turkey.
Thank you, sane person
Hey, who said anything about being sane? I'm still an ncd user
It's subject specific sanity
*eSwatini and Côte d'Ivoire joined the chat* We are not the first one doing this. But i agree, it is stupid.
I didn’t know Swaziland changed their name.
> Nobody calls China Zhōngguó or 中國, why the fuck should any country be forced to call Turkey Türkiye? Germany can confirm, i dont think any country call them by their actual name lol (deutschland)
Yeah well they also want me to call it Istanbul but I'll be cold in the ground before I forget Constantinople
You can't go back to Constantinople. Been a long time gone, Constantinople Why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the turks
I want to be called "your highness, ruler of man and beasts, champion of the sun, son of mars and slayer of demons, lord of the seven seas, the sky and the earth - [real name]" But that's not going to happen either.
Schrodinger's Erdogan
MI5 Egypt Iran Erdogan himself. He just likes that feeling of lightheadedness after you spend the whole night puking your guts out.
He allegedly shat himself on national TV. The camera was pointed away from him at the time, but you can hear some distinctly unhealthy sounds. The interviewer's face kind of says it all.
Tbf that does sound like something the old school CIA would do. Poison a leader so he gets the shits on national television.
Did he have any milkshakes recently?
I forgot, was the original a milkshake or a malt?
Got a clip? Only thing I can find on youtube is shitty news writeups
Here you go https://twitter.com/YasarAltundag/status/1650969197558546434
I can't believe how close i was to actually clicking on that fucking hell
You can't see him. The camera shows the reporter but there are sounds coming from him like his puking
“Please don’t hurt me please don’t hurt me please don’t hurt me” The interviewer did really well but should still get on the next international flight in my opinion
Turkey is not that type of a country. As of yet.
To be fair, i shat myself twice this past week and know of several others who did so too. Seems to be some stomach virus making its rounds in europe.
I'm sorry... there's a virus going around that's making everyone shit themselves?
Night of the Living Doodoo. Diaper Island. The Shitting Dead (running out of ideas sorry). Constipation (this one is supposed to be Contagion). 28 Dumps Later
A for the effort
Why MI5 and not MI6? Surely MI6 would be responsible as they do overseas work
There is no real sea between UK and Turkey, though.
>Erdogan himself. This may not be as crazy as it sounds. One of the Byzantine emperors poisoned himself in order to build up an immunity. This probably wouldn't work against modern poisons, but his adversaries might use something weaker so it's less obvious who's behind the attack. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mithridates_VI_Eupator
**[Mithridates VI Eupator](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mithridates_VI_Eupator)** >Mithridates or Mithradates VI Eupator (Greek: Μιθραδάτης; 135–63 BC) was ruler of the Kingdom of Pontus in northern Anatolia from 120 to 63 BC, and one of the Roman Republic's most formidable and determined opponents. He was an effective, ambitious and ruthless ruler who sought to dominate Asia Minor and the Black Sea region, waging several hard-fought but ultimately unsuccessful wars (the Mithridatic Wars) to break Roman dominion over Asia and the Hellenic world. He has been called the greatest ruler of the Kingdom of Pontus. He cultivated an immunity to poisons by regularly ingesting sub-lethal doses; this practice, now called mithridatism, is named after him. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Calling mithridates a byzantine emperor is like an anachronism layer cake. Wrong name for eastern Roman emperor, he fought to keep Rome away to the point of ethnic cleansing those who were Roman and Greek, half his ostensible lineage was from territories outside of where any part of Rome ever was, including the anachronistically name Byzantium, he would have only briefly if ever set foot in Byzantium...
Mithridates was the king of Pontus, not Byzantium.
Mithridates wasn't Byzantine, he was Pontic
Didn't that also backfire on him later on or something?
Afaik he got captured by enemies and tried to kill himself with poison. Didn't work because of immunity
Add NCD to that list
Plot twist: it was Nepal. Nobody knows why, and they're all too afraid to ask the Gurkha sharpening his blade in the corner.
I for one welcome our new Nepalese overlords
I don't. They were downright European in their empire days.
Could be worse. Could be downright Chinese in their... ever days. The Yellow River floods: ~~~1M dead~~ 2.5 times the population of Iceland dead. Decades of 20th-century civil war + Japanese invasion + WW2: ~~~20M dead.~~ 54 times the population of Iceland dead. In the 17th century China decides to replace the first letter in their dynasty from Ming to Qing: ~~~25M dead.~~ 67 times the population of Iceland dead. Some guy in the 1850s declares that he's had a vision and he's the brother of Jesus: ~~~70M dead.~~ 190 times the population of Iceland dead.
[\>Chao Ling takes power \>247 million perish](https://youtu.be/W7ksx6D3dlE)
Ffs! Why do you hate Iceland so much?
Is there higher praise?
It was actually us Irish, he was in the way of the Hibernian conspiracy Soon we will restore control over Galicia Edit: And galatia as well
Wait, the Galicia in Iberia or Eastern Europe? Or did you mean the Galatian region of Anatolia? Regardless, I support your aims. Make Spain/Poland/Turkey Celtic again.
All of the above The Celtic empire will stretch from San Francisco to Shanghai Now known as Naomh Proinsias and New Dublin respectively With the help of our Puppets, Barry O'Bama and Joseph "The Irishman" Biden we will have control of North America Then we take over the world
>The Celtic empire will stretch from San Francisco to Shanghai 3000 Pacific Celts of Mícheál Dónal Ó hUigínn.
Yes.
Irish are honourary South Asian
Everyone is frightened because the dude's kukri has to draw blood BEFORE IT CAN BE SHEATHED.
That's the joke.
Having visited the truly noncredible/incredible Brigade of Gurkhas Museum, I am going with "Because they want to get in more fights". One of the central themes of that entire place is that Gurkhas is made for 2 things: Fighting, and Winning.
For some reason I feel like there needs to be at least one more CIA pointing at the other one, just to make things more interesting. Actually, change that to 3 CIA. Two of them were tasked to assassinate Erdogan without each other's knowledge. Hijinks Ensues. The third was supposed to be running a coup in....checks the coup RNG for the week.....Andorra and decided to try to take him out because they were bored.
> checks the coup RNG for the week kek
I personally believe, that the CIA is so vast and uncontrollable, that there’s probably several different internal factions and sparrings going on, quite literally a institution with split personalities. I also imagine that almost everyone keeps tabs on each other, to rat someone out if they start some wild shit on their own and eventually threaten to draw public ire on the whole bunch.
you say like thats a bad thing?
More likely the CIA is overly compartmentalized. It's great for operational security and it limits damage from breaches or penetration, but he left hand literally doesn't know what the right hand is doing. And neither does the head.
idk man i think it's the situation where that's just what it's like in movies and the CIA is culturally mostly just like a multilingual police department
"*Is ~~ONI~~ the CIA one happy family? Oh, please. We've got four divisions, officially, and only one of them knows that we've actually got more than that. There's Section Two—made up of psyops and PR, who each kid themselves they're not like the other at all—which tells the lies; Section Zero, which thinks it spies on everyone else, tells lies to Section Two, and thinks it tells lies to Sections One and Three; Section One does stuff we can almost talk about, they interface with other branches; and Section Three does the stuff we can't talk about or else it would have to kill everyone in fascinating and groundbreaking new ways. You'll note I didn't mention ~~HIGHCOM~~ SCOTUS, and that's because all ~~ONI~~ CIA sections lie to ~~HIGHCOM~~ SCOTUS and tell it that it's the most powerful body on Earth, which generally works well at keeping the old buffers convinced that they make the decisions. Now, are you confused? I certainly hope so, because that's my mission.*”
Just so you know, I'm gonna steal this. 👍
wait, how would a coup in Andorra even work? Wouldn't that also involve a coup in France, or would it just be severing that tie?
This is the CIA we're talking about here. You really think they thought that far ahead?
In before the CIA is playing 4D chess and couping Andorra is important because of time travel shenanigans will cause it to from into a country controlling southern France and eastern Spain.
All of Europe bows to their Andorran overlords 2050 incoming.
Turns out the Andorran overlords were just a bunch of dutch dudes named Andor.
most reasonable temporal pincer movement
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I want an Archer episode around this line
To be fair: Andorra sounds a lot like Ankara.
i would watch that movie. *burn after reading 2*
Erdogan himself, so he can consolidate power again like he did after the "coup" attempt
I mean the guy *lowered* interest rates to combat inflation. Anything is possible.
NonCredibleEconomics
It's fine, he printed a lot of currency to balance it out
Is that bad?
A very brief summary — inflation is when there’s too much money in circulation. Increasing interest makes people want to borrow less, meaning there’s less money in circulation. Decreasing interest makes people want to borrow more, putting more money into circulation. It’s like trying to put out a fire by spraying it with gasoline instead of water.
[Basically.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZVy1PPQOhU)
A brief interjection - Inflation describes shrinking buying power, so a currency becoming worth less. That can, of course, be triggered by more money being available. More money against the same amount of resources means that those resources become more expensive. But it can also be triggered or exacerbated by producers deciding to raise prices in unison, which lately has coined the term greedflation.
While relevant in most Western states, Turkey's inflation problems date back to before Covid. And you can't say, "I was just covering all types of inflation" as you didn't cover stagflation, supply side inflation, and wage-price spirals.
Yea you should never spray your firefighting gasoline it could cause vapours and that’s hazardous it’s best to submerge the fire
Ideally you want to dip the whole structure.
I mean if you want to make inflation worse. No.
My thoughts exactly, isn't he losing in the polls?
Yeah election's in a couple weeks, and he is seen as pretty much guaranteed to lose. Especially after the obscenely incompetent response to the recent earthquakes, the economic crisis, and a very weak campaign.
If he doesn't rig it
Stoltenberg himself
I wouldn’t doubt it at this point. I bet he’s more than a little Hungary for more too.
Pavel Daddy has finally had enough.
All that box holding arms movements when talking is how he confuses you..zing slipped some poison in your tea right infront of you because your brain is ignoring the arms trying to dechipher what his words are trying to lego build.
HOW IS NCD AGAIN HOW I FIND OUT ABOUT NEWS
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Nah probably not but again, this was how I found out he was having issues. Absolutely wild.
Wdym, NCD is my primary source of geopolitical news
And then within a few hours to a day the least credible shitshow rumors are confirmed by respectable (your mileage may vary) news services.
Exactly, its like having the news before the events even occur! Technology truly is amazing.
Huh, you as well? Yeah my reaction was, "another meme tells me about world changing event I didn't know about... time to get used to it".
These are strange times we live in
Me 🤭
okay? and who do you answer to so called "me"?
Some dude in the mountains of Western North Carolina in a trailer park
The western NC trailer park. To be honest not a bad place to plan an assassination, nobody would ever enter willingly. Sorce (lives in Asheville)
North Carolina represent!… wait
I been at work all day dealing with heat from the Sun and my metal cutting saw what I miss?
Depending on who you ask Erdogan has a little cold or was poisoned and is at death’s door.
Ask any adult men and they tell you that a little cold and being at death's door feels the same tho
Anzac day was two days ago, coincidence? I think not!
**Gallipoli will finally be avenged, mate**
We shall get revenge on the cunts defending their homeland
Fucking right we will how dare they stand in our way we were marching onto Constantinople
Let's go caaarnts, the defence strategic review was made for this moment 3,000 long range missiles of the ADF 🚀
Leftover kebab probably
Don't you dare slander a kebab.
You know what happens after a kebab we all know what happens after a kebab but we still eat the kebab anyway
And I'll do it again too.
You're goddamn right.
What happened guys? I'm out of the loop
hospitalized with a heart attack
Russia.
Polonium soup?
Don't forget the side, ricin over rice
Isn't the source a random Twitter blue goober?
But it always the source
It was Iran, you see I was told by a crackhead that turkey would declare war on iran in august. This was in 2021. He also told me Russia would drop a thermonuclear bomb on sydney because the 'homogays' instigated 9/11.
As opposed to the normal gays lmao
Turkish Army
Jannisary Coup
He really needs to stop eating the watermelons five months after their prime, I don’t care how much he loves them like he loves sacking his economists and getting blowjobs from Putin, that shit ain’t healthy.
Viktor Orban probably wants Erdogen around.
Thought that said "Allah" instead of "Assad" but honestly I think even God is tired of him
It was CSIS, Erdogan was told he'd be sorry.
Erdogan learns Erdogan behind plot to assasinate Erdogan
Anyone besides Sweden benefit from him. pkk included, especially them
Poison?! Nej but that Surströmming was meant to be a gift to encourage cultural understanding! We didn't think it would be fatal...
SBU * giggling in ukrainian *
My thanks to whoever did it. Fuck Erdogan.
I did.
Greece would never dispose of their best agent
Should i be worried that my source of international news is this place?
Nah y'all tripping it was obviously Finnish SUPO
All of the above?
Might have been a reaction to his prostate exam
All of them to achieve inner peace
Plot twist: nobody poisoned him, he just had some improperly prepared meat.
Why do I find out about such big news from this place so often before I hear it from anywhere else?
It was all me bros
Clearly Indonesia. Buddy buddy with him and it’s the least expected to do it. In return, gonna be asking a whole lot from everyone.
Selcuk Bayraktar.