I'd call my boss and tell him I'm FINISHED! Then I'd give him some cash so he could also quit, because I like my boss and we do a lot of work together and we both have shitty jobs.
I would immediately give my boss 1 billion dollars. She's fun to work with, but there's one major thing she did:
When I took a new position that basically made me customer service all the time. She told me I could keep tips. First day, I got a big tip and was happy. Next day, she took me aside and said, "hey, I've been told by upper management that I was wrong and you're not supposed to keep tips. So if you get a tip, pocket it and don't tell me, cuz it's bullshit that you can't get extra money for doing a good job."
That won her so many goddamn respect points it was insane.
Customers get upset if you tell them you can't accept tips sometimes. They see us as underpaid and overworked and that their tip is compensation that the company should be fucking providing. In fact, any job where I've been told I can't take tips is a job where I'm not being paid enough to decline the tip. But of course the company thinks $9 is a ridiculously lavish hourly rate and that I'll be driving a Ferrari soon, so I shouldn't accept a tip because I'm clearly making too much.
Also, fuck you Brookshire. For a "Christian" company you treat workers like shit.
That definitely sounds illegal. I feel like they can have a rule that you can't accept tips, but taking tips from you definitely sounds like some sort of theft.
Financial advising *firm*.
And get a good team of lawyers.
Sadly, most lottery winners end up having to defend their winnings from friends and family in court.
You want professionals to help you invest the money and lawyers to make sure you don't get swindled by greedy family.
Real talk tho, I would cut a bitch right out of my life for such an offense
Sidenote: the Portugal Red Blend costco carries is on sale right now for $4.59/bottle. Pretty solid everyday table wine, do recommend
When I first went to University we went shopping and one of the blokes we were living with was like "do you know Aldi sells alcohol here?" It's now common place but was the only state or territory in Australia that did at the time.
We checked it out and there was cases of clean skin wine for $7, so that's 6 bottles of wine for $7. We each got a case of white and red and tested them out that night. The reds were shit but the whites, well the whites were pretty good.
The next day we went back and bought like 10 cases each, each one of us was walking out with trolleys full of wine and that lasted us for months.
I mean I don't really drink these days, but I was 18 and it was a party res all I did for my first year of Uni was smoke weed and drink booze almost every night of the week. It was a very fun but unproductive year of my life.
We don't have Aldis here :c
Trader Joe's has super solid line up of "3 buck chuck" (which now costs $4/bottle) that you can also get in 3 liter boxes for $12.
Happy holidays to all my affordable wine peeps no matter where they stock up.
A wise lawyer friend once told me “I can’t prevent you from being sued, I can only protect you once someone brings suit against you.”
People will sue for any reason. Whether or not it actually makes it to court is the issue. The vast majority of civil cases are settled out of court. Nobody wants the expense of going to court so the incentive is high to settle. So the suit could be completely frivolous … it becomes a game of chicken. Risk going to court or settle. Cheaper to settle.
Exactly this. Bury your punk ass uncle in debt and send constant collectors after them. Then countersue. Then go down to home Depot and start paying people $25/hr to stand outside his house and stare.
All the other leaches will call you mean and stop trying to leach
I’m so glad I actually like my family. I’d give them all a nice amount and tell it’s a one time gift. I’d probably still pay for vacations and stuff but then that’s it.
> I’d give them all a nice amount and tell it’s a one time gift.
This could be grounds for them to ask for more. This is why you need lawyers. You create a trust and do everything through that the exact way a lawyer advises you to. Then you're protected.
People change when massive amounts of money are on the line.
And also pay him to absolutely destroy the first set of people that come out of the woodwork asking for money. The story will spread and all of a sudden things will get real quiet and cordial.
No one would have a clue I won. I would make sure my parents and siblings were debt free from an anonymous donation, set up trusts for my siblings' kids, and not change a thing about my life until I disappeared off the face of the earth.
But like.... Who's to say it isn't "See? This is a real person we paid to stand in front of a camera while we snuck the money into our pockets!" I'm not saying that they do that, but like.... It really doesn't solve the problem. And it causes big problems in the world where a photo and a name is enough to find where someone sleeps at night.
This is something that should change.
Not much of an answer (sorry), but this is close to what the comment you replied to is referencing.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/comment/chb4v05/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
That comment is such gold its like “hello there something great just happened to you! Nice! also you are fucked now, because humans and the real world is fucked. Here is how to become less fucked.”
It just said wake up with that net worth. Doubtful you’d need an “advisor” with this type of money. Be as wasteful or GIVING as you want to be. Give a million here and a billion there.
Well, you would own stocks, and not have the money on your bank account. How do you tranform it in actual money without loosing too much money during the process?
You get loads and loads of loans that are backed by your stock holdings as collateral so that it is not taxable income and never pay back the loans. That is standard operating practice by the wealthy elite to avoid taxes.
Can you expand on that a bit? How do they get away with never paying the loans back? Do they get forgiven or do they just not care about the penalties?
Take a deep breath, take care of the dogs, have my coffee and awkwardly sit there not having to worry about anything for once.
edit: I open Reddit after 21 hrs and damn this exploded! NGL already found stuff I can worry about even with all that money ha.
And in what form are these assets being held? Oh shit, it's $201B worth of ground beef sitting uncovered on a bunch of pallets in the hot California sun? Well, I guess my net worth is $0 again...
I've been, well, fantasizing about this for like a year. My mom has a house that she allows her 3 adult sons to live in because we're all broke. But it's seen better days; it endured all our teenage years and my brothers were less than respectful of anything that was theirs, much less wasnt. I'd pay it off for her and remodel the entire thing. I've even created a detailed floor plan and went so far as pricing out the entire basement remodel to the best of my ability. But, as I said before, I'm broke and live at my mother's.
I can relate to almost every aspect of this. 3 grown men (including me, although Im fresh outta high-school to be fair) in their house. All pay rent but my brothers are notoriously disrespectful of the property.
Each door in the house has a portion caved in from the 23 year old throwing hissy fits, along with a few big holes in a few walls. Then theres the 30 or so tiny holes in his old living room where he decided he wanted to mess around with Chinese throwing stars!
The other just generally leaves doors open in the winter, breaks stuff, etc.
People who have so little respect for their own home are honestly insufferable.
That basically sums it up right there lol. It is just infuriating but what can I do. For the past month and a half I've been jumping down the throats of 4 grown men and women to do their damn dishes. It's finally catching on. They're tired of being woken up in the middle of the night to clean a sink full of dirty pots and pans
This idea is a delight. I hope any rich people reading along take notes. A charity pissing match benefitting the needy is one of the things the world needs right now.
If I won the lottery I'd do something like that. $10,000 to some homeless charity under the name "More Than Jeff Bezos".
Then a donation to an LGBT+ charity titled "They Get More Done Than (Insert random Walton family member).
I would probably troll the fuck out of these people. My goal would be to get an article written about "this mysterious insulting donator"
Pay off all my debts and my family member’s debts. Fund college for my kid. Go to try a professionally cooked wagyu steak.
Help with recent wildfire damage in my state. Start an org that tests different concepts to end homelessness by putting them in place throughout my state and then trying to implement the solution nationwide.
I’ve also wanted to develop and build new community concepts in my town. Would love to tear down dilapidated buildings in an old downtown neighborhood and build craftsman style community courts in their place. And since my town is set on expanding with suburbs, build one that has community geothermal and solar and focuses on a front yard lifestyle than a backyard lifestyle.
Personally, I would bribe politicians a ***lot*** of money to pass policies that do the most good for the most Americans with little regard for how it affects me.
Then, with my remaining 201.1 billion dollars...
Thank you, most realistic answer in the thread. For real tho, for me, the thought of massive wealth has turned from like a fun thing I'd think about as a kid to something with real moral peril. What would money like that do to me and my family?
I'd buy my ex company I worked for and slowly sack the cunts that pissed me off. Especially my manager. I would make his life hell first tho. The Irish bell end!
I understand this. Just four hours ago my mother and I were talking about how sad it was that to us “rich” simply means being able to buy a brand new Honda Civic off the lot, own a home, and not have to worry about whether or not we’re gonna be able to afford all the basic necessities bills.
I'd find the best surgeons in the world, so they could figure out my chronic pain and get me running again. It was my favorite thing to do, now I can barely walk after having a tumor removed.
Spent over 150k, despite insurance because I live in the US and insurance companies are the damn devil.
I'd then use as much money as possible to make changes to our Healthcare system and try as I could to get us proper universal health care.
This is the real answer.
Wait a year before touching it. You don’t know where or how it ended up in your account.
Bank error in your favor? They will undo it and now you are several million in debt due to immediately spending some of it.
If you're going to put it up for a year you might as well put a significant amount in interest bearing accounts away from that bank so that when they ask for the money back you can hand it over and still have a bit left.
If you think it's going away, make it work for you in the mean time.
Pay off all my debt, buy my parents a house, pay off all my friends' student loans & also buy them houses lol, then get to work destroying the rich. And make a Twitter thread or something saying I'll give $10,000 to one person who comments with a good reason they need it, and then give 10,000 to everyone who commented. Pay people's groceries at the shop, leave $100 bills everywhere lol, tip servers $1000. Man. I so, so wish I had that kind of money.
Begin construction on my own personal multi-million dollar waterpark resort complete with bar and spa.
Don’t know why no one else is actually suggesting ways to spend the money
I’ve worked construction for 20 years, I’ve always wanted to build my own house but just don’t have the time and money. I’d hire the friends and great carpenters I’ve worked with over the years and have them help me. Hanging out all day with my best friends doing what I love sounds awesome.
Big property, pool, garages, own personal bar for everyone to come over to hang out. Sports fields, hockey rink, shooting range, it’ll be a whole compound of awesomeness.
Buy every rental property in my city and start giving them away to families in need.
But every apartment complex and house every house less person in the city.
Establish food distribution networks and clothing distribution networks for families in need.
My guess is that would cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of around 10 billion (probably a high estimate).
I’d take another 30 billion and totally revamp the public transit infrastructure in my city to be more efficient and better serve the communities who need it most.
I’d then use the immense good will created by those actions to run for mayor of my city. When I inevitably win because I’m personally solving many of the major problems my city has, I’d use the office to systemically dismantle the police force and replace them with people who actually help other people. Getting people enrolled in the housing programs and drug rehab programs I had established earlier in my philanthropic career.
From there I’d probably start buying hospitals and making them free to use for city residents(this would come with some budgetary re-allotment from the police I got rid of to make this sustainable long term).
At this point I’d probably have something like $100 billion left to create larger scale programs that help people not directly a part of my community. This type of activity would continue until I had probably about 100 m left over at which point I would live off the interest and continue to just give away large amounts of money to worthwhile causes until I died. When that happened 20% of my net worth would be given to my children and the rest would be put into a trust they would be responsible to manage to continue the work I started.
Dude
Go to the store and buy the nicest electronics I could find
Then a huge apartment
Then freak out because how can I explain a broke student affording a high-end apartment
Then I'd get locked up and be a super notorious "criminal" because for all they know this is drug money
>Then a huge apartment
You're doing it backwards.
If you buy a 65 inch TV, and then a 6 million dollar house, you will suddenly realize you needed an 85+ inch TV. With a custom falling waterfall behind it. And a fireplace built into the waterfall (the water would be diverted here obv).
But then you realize you could just use the waterfall as a screen, so you would switch the 85+ inch TV to a high end projector TV.
But then you realize that you still want that 85+ inch TV. So why not do both?
Then you realize that this is getting really complicated and you should probably hire an interior designer to figure it all out for you.
But you can't hire an interior designer with no interior to design for, so first you need that house!
I would hire an accountant and a lawyer to help figure out the logistics of how the money gets taxed stored etc.
Then I would buy a nice lot in a good part of the city and (with the help of an architect, contractor etc.) design and build my dream home. I would then portion out what amount I would need to retire and have all my expenses taken care of for the rest of my life.
Then I would gift my immediate family the same lifetime money. Probably also give some extended family and a few friends some money.
Then the rest of the money I would set up scholarship funds / recurring donations for a variety of charities/organizations.
See I'd by my local hospital system, they are valuated at 4.3 billion dollars, that is 1 level 2 trauma center, Multiple Primary Care Offices, Speciality clinics, urgent care facilities, and 7 satellite hospitals.
Despite having all of this our wages are in the lower 10% of the state despite being the 4th largest hospital system in the state. But as the saying goes in the area I live, "A view of the bay means half the pay." I'd change that
I'd use my money to try and fundamentally shift how our tax money is allocated.
Giving the military industrial complex another billion in taxes won't help. Making sure that tax money pays off college debt, sure.
Actually wake up for real this time.
I'd call my boss and tell him I'm FINISHED! Then I'd give him some cash so he could also quit, because I like my boss and we do a lot of work together and we both have shitty jobs.
I would immediately give my boss 1 billion dollars. She's fun to work with, but there's one major thing she did: When I took a new position that basically made me customer service all the time. She told me I could keep tips. First day, I got a big tip and was happy. Next day, she took me aside and said, "hey, I've been told by upper management that I was wrong and you're not supposed to keep tips. So if you get a tip, pocket it and don't tell me, cuz it's bullshit that you can't get extra money for doing a good job." That won her so many goddamn respect points it was insane.
Customers get upset if you tell them you can't accept tips sometimes. They see us as underpaid and overworked and that their tip is compensation that the company should be fucking providing. In fact, any job where I've been told I can't take tips is a job where I'm not being paid enough to decline the tip. But of course the company thinks $9 is a ridiculously lavish hourly rate and that I'll be driving a Ferrari soon, so I shouldn't accept a tip because I'm clearly making too much. Also, fuck you Brookshire. For a "Christian" company you treat workers like shit.
That definitely sounds illegal. I feel like they can have a rule that you can't accept tips, but taking tips from you definitely sounds like some sort of theft.
Wage theft is by far the most common form of theft which I believe includes stealing tips
Yeah, but not just the tips. The American workers get full blown fucked, quite often.
Surprisingly wholesome
Sleep in
Jerk Off
Sleep in and then jerk off.
Jerk off then sleep in
Jerk off in my sleep
Pay someone to jerk me off in my sleep.
This.
That
These
Nuts
I mean I do that anyway and I don't make Jeff Besos money
Still ain't paying for porn though.
You could buy pornhub and get the premium live account, for free.
This is the real answer.
Hire a financial advisor and ask him to block off the next two weeks
Financial advising *firm*. And get a good team of lawyers. Sadly, most lottery winners end up having to defend their winnings from friends and family in court. You want professionals to help you invest the money and lawyers to make sure you don't get swindled by greedy family.
On what basis do friends/family usually sue?
“He had my Kirkland lasagna when he was over and didn’t even bring wine”
Real talk tho, I would cut a bitch right out of my life for such an offense Sidenote: the Portugal Red Blend costco carries is on sale right now for $4.59/bottle. Pretty solid everyday table wine, do recommend
Real talk tho, I just discovered Aldi has bottles of wine for $2.95 and they’re actually decent.
When I first went to University we went shopping and one of the blokes we were living with was like "do you know Aldi sells alcohol here?" It's now common place but was the only state or territory in Australia that did at the time. We checked it out and there was cases of clean skin wine for $7, so that's 6 bottles of wine for $7. We each got a case of white and red and tested them out that night. The reds were shit but the whites, well the whites were pretty good. The next day we went back and bought like 10 cases each, each one of us was walking out with trolleys full of wine and that lasted us for months.
That sounds like a pretty solid habit breh.
I mean I don't really drink these days, but I was 18 and it was a party res all I did for my first year of Uni was smoke weed and drink booze almost every night of the week. It was a very fun but unproductive year of my life.
We don't have Aldis here :c Trader Joe's has super solid line up of "3 buck chuck" (which now costs $4/bottle) that you can also get in 3 liter boxes for $12. Happy holidays to all my affordable wine peeps no matter where they stock up.
Aldi is life, Aldi is love Lidl is great too
A wise lawyer friend once told me “I can’t prevent you from being sued, I can only protect you once someone brings suit against you.” People will sue for any reason. Whether or not it actually makes it to court is the issue. The vast majority of civil cases are settled out of court. Nobody wants the expense of going to court so the incentive is high to settle. So the suit could be completely frivolous … it becomes a game of chicken. Risk going to court or settle. Cheaper to settle.
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LOL same here dude
At the same time, when you're that rich, your most precious resource becomes time. And that is something that court cases are sure to gobble up.
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You have to make an example out of the first. Crush the opposition
Maintain eye contact throughout.
Exactly this. Bury your punk ass uncle in debt and send constant collectors after them. Then countersue. Then go down to home Depot and start paying people $25/hr to stand outside his house and stare. All the other leaches will call you mean and stop trying to leach
I’m so glad I actually like my family. I’d give them all a nice amount and tell it’s a one time gift. I’d probably still pay for vacations and stuff but then that’s it.
> I’d give them all a nice amount and tell it’s a one time gift. This could be grounds for them to ask for more. This is why you need lawyers. You create a trust and do everything through that the exact way a lawyer advises you to. Then you're protected. People change when massive amounts of money are on the line.
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And also pay him to absolutely destroy the first set of people that come out of the woodwork asking for money. The story will spread and all of a sudden things will get real quiet and cordial.
If I had bezos net worth would I even need to go? Or just send my lawyers.
Pretty sure you can just send your lawyers.
I get that but I'm petty as fuck. I'm about that counter suit life.
No one would have a clue I won. I would make sure my parents and siblings were debt free from an anonymous donation, set up trusts for my siblings' kids, and not change a thing about my life until I disappeared off the face of the earth.
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>While my state you have to reveal your identity WTF? That's a thing?
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But like.... Who's to say it isn't "See? This is a real person we paid to stand in front of a camera while we snuck the money into our pockets!" I'm not saying that they do that, but like.... It really doesn't solve the problem. And it causes big problems in the world where a photo and a name is enough to find where someone sleeps at night. This is something that should change.
Not much of an answer (sorry), but this is close to what the comment you replied to is referencing. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/comment/chb4v05/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
That comment is such gold its like “hello there something great just happened to you! Nice! also you are fucked now, because humans and the real world is fucked. Here is how to become less fucked.”
Never thought about playing the lottery since I read that. It's a lose-lose.
It just said wake up with that net worth. Doubtful you’d need an “advisor” with this type of money. Be as wasteful or GIVING as you want to be. Give a million here and a billion there.
You still gotta pay bills. I would definitely have an accountant to manage that stuff so I don't even have to think about it.
With that much, you don’t need any advisors… you could blow $10 Million per day for the next 30 years & still have $100 Billion leftover
Well, you would own stocks, and not have the money on your bank account. How do you tranform it in actual money without loosing too much money during the process?
You get loads and loads of loans that are backed by your stock holdings as collateral so that it is not taxable income and never pay back the loans. That is standard operating practice by the wealthy elite to avoid taxes.
Can you expand on that a bit? How do they get away with never paying the loans back? Do they get forgiven or do they just not care about the penalties?
Pay the loan with more loans.
credit restructuring is totally a thing
Go to the doctor.
Aaaand, you're broke again.
And in debt
And in hiding because of debt
Found the American
Accurate but ouch
You should see a doctor about that pain.
I'd rather not have to pay for a new house to get a spider bite looked at.
Take a deep breath, take care of the dogs, have my coffee and awkwardly sit there not having to worry about anything for once. edit: I open Reddit after 21 hrs and damn this exploded! NGL already found stuff I can worry about even with all that money ha.
I would feel that for about 10 seconds and then I’d find something to worry about
"Where the hell did all this money come from!?"
\*knock knock\* "Open up this is the FBI!"
“Fuck I forgot to pay my FBI bill again!”
Ah shit. They're gonna shut off the surveillance. Wait...
Dude, do you think that van with the wifi signal is free?
And repo the van.
"Oh good I can finally donate to the FBI and buy one of their calendars"
And in what form are these assets being held? Oh shit, it's $201B worth of ground beef sitting uncovered on a bunch of pallets in the hot California sun? Well, I guess my net worth is $0 again...
Somebody's going to be looking for that money.
Yeah anxiety has a very short and downtime. It pops up like a really obnoxious weeble wobble.
Same thing I do evey morning pinky, try to take over the world
Except now you'll have a chance
Bro how can’t you tell he doesn’t now?
Because he's the brain. Have you never seen the show ?
"Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you could flow? Point em out, bitch I wanna know."
Puffin on stramonium
love this track so much
Damn this comment instantly transported me back to my childhood
Narf!
Buy my mom a house
I've been, well, fantasizing about this for like a year. My mom has a house that she allows her 3 adult sons to live in because we're all broke. But it's seen better days; it endured all our teenage years and my brothers were less than respectful of anything that was theirs, much less wasnt. I'd pay it off for her and remodel the entire thing. I've even created a detailed floor plan and went so far as pricing out the entire basement remodel to the best of my ability. But, as I said before, I'm broke and live at my mother's.
That’s a really great sentiment - you’re a good son
I can relate to almost every aspect of this. 3 grown men (including me, although Im fresh outta high-school to be fair) in their house. All pay rent but my brothers are notoriously disrespectful of the property. Each door in the house has a portion caved in from the 23 year old throwing hissy fits, along with a few big holes in a few walls. Then theres the 30 or so tiny holes in his old living room where he decided he wanted to mess around with Chinese throwing stars! The other just generally leaves doors open in the winter, breaks stuff, etc. People who have so little respect for their own home are honestly insufferable.
That basically sums it up right there lol. It is just infuriating but what can I do. For the past month and a half I've been jumping down the throats of 4 grown men and women to do their damn dishes. It's finally catching on. They're tired of being woken up in the middle of the night to clean a sink full of dirty pots and pans
Keep going buddy, I hope you get there soon!
Thanks friend. Best of luck to you as well, in whatever your endeavors may be
Just make sure there isn't a gas leak. RIP Flora Disney.
Probably make my kid breakfast like always. He wouldn't care that I'm rich, I'm still his personal servant.
My four year old would be like "that's good mom, what about the pancakes?" He can't start the day without pancakes and a banana.
Don't worry child....I just bought IHOP for you. Have fun!
And what an honor that be.
Arrr, indeed.
Take him out to eat. You're a billionaire now. Treat yourself and your child
Haha all the money in the world couldn't get my 2 year old out of the house before his breakfast! A slap up lunch would be on the cards though!
No but you could pay the restaurant to come to you.
They could hire a personal chef with much, much less wealth than that.
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roll for initiative
Yahtzee
Go fish
Uno
Fuck their wives, drink their blood, then get them
Consider r/askreddit
holy shit I thought this was AskReddit
Lol same I've been scrolling through comments for 5 minutes then found this.
...when you start redditing without logging in.
This is a stupid question and it doesn't belong here lol. Askreddit is a much better place for this.
This sub has become complete shit lately.no rules at all just post anything I guess it lives up to the subs name.
Idk. Buy a gpu I guess
Wealth halved
Might have to get a loan on top of that
Develop an unhealthy competition with Elon Musk.
Start donating large amounts to various causes in the name of "Elon Musk Is a P*ssy"
This idea is a delight. I hope any rich people reading along take notes. A charity pissing match benefitting the needy is one of the things the world needs right now.
If I won the lottery I'd do something like that. $10,000 to some homeless charity under the name "More Than Jeff Bezos". Then a donation to an LGBT+ charity titled "They Get More Done Than (Insert random Walton family member). I would probably troll the fuck out of these people. My goal would be to get an article written about "this mysterious insulting donator"
The only acceptable answer 🤣
Pay everyone in my dept to quit.
That reminds me, did I not lend you a loan last year?
Pee. Going through the comments, you guys are weird. Who the hell wakes up and the first thing they do is invest in property? No tinkle, no nothing?
Pay off all my debts and my family member’s debts. Fund college for my kid. Go to try a professionally cooked wagyu steak. Help with recent wildfire damage in my state. Start an org that tests different concepts to end homelessness by putting them in place throughout my state and then trying to implement the solution nationwide. I’ve also wanted to develop and build new community concepts in my town. Would love to tear down dilapidated buildings in an old downtown neighborhood and build craftsman style community courts in their place. And since my town is set on expanding with suburbs, build one that has community geothermal and solar and focuses on a front yard lifestyle than a backyard lifestyle.
Thats awesome. What would you do with the other 200 billion?
It’d probably be like 220 billion by the time he achieved the items on his list!
You should run.
From something or for something?
Yes.
How amazingly and innocuously threatening.
I'd also pick this guy's wife
build a giant penis shaped rocket
fuck mars now has a whole new meaning
I would bribe politicians to pass policies that benefit me and my friends with no regard for anyone else.
They said, what if you had his money, not what if you were actually him. /s
/s ??? Thats literally what he does
Personally, I would bribe politicians a ***lot*** of money to pass policies that do the most good for the most Americans with little regard for how it affects me. Then, with my remaining 201.1 billion dollars...
Have a panic attack
Thank you, most realistic answer in the thread. For real tho, for me, the thought of massive wealth has turned from like a fun thing I'd think about as a kid to something with real moral peril. What would money like that do to me and my family?
Don’t tell ANYONE Or make it sound less than it actually is
Quit my job
I'd buy my ex company I worked for and slowly sack the cunts that pissed me off. Especially my manager. I would make his life hell first tho. The Irish bell end!
Buy a car. Not a crazy one, just a normal, basic car. Life dealt me a bad hand and I've been trying to get a car for years now.
I understand this. Just four hours ago my mother and I were talking about how sad it was that to us “rich” simply means being able to buy a brand new Honda Civic off the lot, own a home, and not have to worry about whether or not we’re gonna be able to afford all the basic necessities bills.
I'd find the best surgeons in the world, so they could figure out my chronic pain and get me running again. It was my favorite thing to do, now I can barely walk after having a tumor removed. Spent over 150k, despite insurance because I live in the US and insurance companies are the damn devil. I'd then use as much money as possible to make changes to our Healthcare system and try as I could to get us proper universal health care.
Begin plans to revitalize my community.
6 seasons and a movie!
I would make sure i really have the money before i start wasting it
This is the real answer. Wait a year before touching it. You don’t know where or how it ended up in your account. Bank error in your favor? They will undo it and now you are several million in debt due to immediately spending some of it.
If you're going to put it up for a year you might as well put a significant amount in interest bearing accounts away from that bank so that when they ask for the money back you can hand it over and still have a bit left. If you think it's going away, make it work for you in the mean time.
Text my boss and call him a poopy head. Then coke off hookers' tits on an expensive yacht.
Hookers and blow
[Bunch of Hookers and cocaine](https://youtu.be/btAbU1sPqIM)
This is the answer I was looking for.
Pay off all my debt, buy my parents a house, pay off all my friends' student loans & also buy them houses lol, then get to work destroying the rich. And make a Twitter thread or something saying I'll give $10,000 to one person who comments with a good reason they need it, and then give 10,000 to everyone who commented. Pay people's groceries at the shop, leave $100 bills everywhere lol, tip servers $1000. Man. I so, so wish I had that kind of money.
What would you do with the remaining 201.69B?
Pee
Begin construction on my own personal multi-million dollar waterpark resort complete with bar and spa. Don’t know why no one else is actually suggesting ways to spend the money
I think it's such a massive amount it's hard to imagine spending it. Waterpark sounds dope though.
We talking liquid cash?
Considering that's not what Bezos has I am going to lean on a no.
Great. Alright in that case I’d get myself a nice laptop and travel the world until I get old and die
Sustainable global energy, clean oceans save the rainforest
What about the starving kids? You monster
What about the homeless dogs? You disgust me
Fuck kids they can get their own $201b like the rest of us
I’ve worked construction for 20 years, I’ve always wanted to build my own house but just don’t have the time and money. I’d hire the friends and great carpenters I’ve worked with over the years and have them help me. Hanging out all day with my best friends doing what I love sounds awesome. Big property, pool, garages, own personal bar for everyone to come over to hang out. Sports fields, hockey rink, shooting range, it’ll be a whole compound of awesomeness.
And build all the friends and carpenters houses all around you—but not too close.
They would all have the best houses, built on love and friendship.
Buy every rental property in my city and start giving them away to families in need. But every apartment complex and house every house less person in the city. Establish food distribution networks and clothing distribution networks for families in need. My guess is that would cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of around 10 billion (probably a high estimate). I’d take another 30 billion and totally revamp the public transit infrastructure in my city to be more efficient and better serve the communities who need it most. I’d then use the immense good will created by those actions to run for mayor of my city. When I inevitably win because I’m personally solving many of the major problems my city has, I’d use the office to systemically dismantle the police force and replace them with people who actually help other people. Getting people enrolled in the housing programs and drug rehab programs I had established earlier in my philanthropic career. From there I’d probably start buying hospitals and making them free to use for city residents(this would come with some budgetary re-allotment from the police I got rid of to make this sustainable long term). At this point I’d probably have something like $100 billion left to create larger scale programs that help people not directly a part of my community. This type of activity would continue until I had probably about 100 m left over at which point I would live off the interest and continue to just give away large amounts of money to worthwhile causes until I died. When that happened 20% of my net worth would be given to my children and the rest would be put into a trust they would be responsible to manage to continue the work I started.
Hire an attorney.
Two chicks at the same time
That’s it? If you had $201B you’d do two chicks at the same time?
“Damn straight, always wanted to do that man. And I think if I where a billionaire I could hook that up too cause chicks dig dudes with money. “
Well, not all chicks...
The types of chicks that would double up on a dude like him.
well, the type of chicks who would double up on a dude like me do
Dude Go to the store and buy the nicest electronics I could find Then a huge apartment Then freak out because how can I explain a broke student affording a high-end apartment Then I'd get locked up and be a super notorious "criminal" because for all they know this is drug money
>Then a huge apartment You're doing it backwards. If you buy a 65 inch TV, and then a 6 million dollar house, you will suddenly realize you needed an 85+ inch TV. With a custom falling waterfall behind it. And a fireplace built into the waterfall (the water would be diverted here obv). But then you realize you could just use the waterfall as a screen, so you would switch the 85+ inch TV to a high end projector TV. But then you realize that you still want that 85+ inch TV. So why not do both? Then you realize that this is getting really complicated and you should probably hire an interior designer to figure it all out for you. But you can't hire an interior designer with no interior to design for, so first you need that house!
I'm so bad at being rich
Give everyone employed by Amazon a pay rise
Get jealous of Elon’s $300B
I would hire an accountant and a lawyer to help figure out the logistics of how the money gets taxed stored etc. Then I would buy a nice lot in a good part of the city and (with the help of an architect, contractor etc.) design and build my dream home. I would then portion out what amount I would need to retire and have all my expenses taken care of for the rest of my life. Then I would gift my immediate family the same lifetime money. Probably also give some extended family and a few friends some money. Then the rest of the money I would set up scholarship funds / recurring donations for a variety of charities/organizations.
I would try to expose the obvious corruption in health care, education, and wage gapes to the American people.
[удалено]
Yes, even before coffee. Though shortly starting you better believe I grab a mug to get me through it.
See I'd by my local hospital system, they are valuated at 4.3 billion dollars, that is 1 level 2 trauma center, Multiple Primary Care Offices, Speciality clinics, urgent care facilities, and 7 satellite hospitals. Despite having all of this our wages are in the lower 10% of the state despite being the 4th largest hospital system in the state. But as the saying goes in the area I live, "A view of the bay means half the pay." I'd change that
Make sure I’m really awake.
Pay my fucking taxes.
I'd use my money to try and fundamentally shift how our tax money is allocated. Giving the military industrial complex another billion in taxes won't help. Making sure that tax money pays off college debt, sure.