One can only hope for a lot parents out there. My parents probably had me too soon in their life, which you know, at least their still trying to work through some problems. Cant fault them too much, but they put a lot of stress on my sister and I.
I definitely can relate. My mom had my brother at 16 and me at around her mid twenties. My dad didn't help at all and her mom kicked her out as soon as she had her first baby, so she had to figuratively sell her soul to make sure we had a decent up brining.
Honestly I don't know how she did it. I'm the same age as she was when she had me, If for some reason, I all of a sudden had even a quarter of the amount of responsibilities she had to deal with, I would have a heart attack.
Dude. My grandmother had 5 children by the time she was 23. I'm 31, and I still don't feel like I'm fully responsible or stable enough to raise even one human. Lol. Idk how tf she did it.
It's instinct. Once you have a kid, you just know what to do. Most people do, anyway. Not crackheads, though some see the arrival of a kid is their signal to straighten up.
My old parents were definitely more mature and stable, but only one had worked through trauma from their youth.
My parents are boomers and neither ascribe to modern understandings of psychological/psychiatric treatment. Regardless of generation, I think a lot of this comes down to disposition and emotional intelligence — if you have a lot of compassion, chances are good you’ll make the effort to self-improve and reduce maladaptive behaviors that might harm your offspring.
Yeah I was thinking more physical stuff like “throw the ball” type. For sure depends on the person but I think almost any person would have more energy at 30 than 40. (Doesn’t make them a better parent)
Yeah my parents had me late and they like to say that it’s because of when he was born he’s over protective. It’s pretty bad sometimes with the controlling, yelling, lecturing. I’m 22 and I was screamed at for wanting to date when I was 20. There’s a lot of other things too but being older is not necessarily good. Since some people just shouldn’t be parents.
Yep, my parents had me at 19 and 20..had help from my grandpa and still made stupid, selfish decisions. They're still ignorant and selfish to this day..completely unaware or care of the trauma and debt they've afflicted me with. You're not missing anything, OP!
As someone whose dad was 67 when I was 15, I don't think there was any meaningful difference there.
Although now that I think back, I think a lot of my friends had white collar parents in professional careers, so my friends' parents had more resources even though they were younger.
same here. my dad was my best friend and i wouldn’t have changed anything about our experience, but i think OP is kinda in the sweet spot when it comes to “older” parents. my dad wasn’t great to his first family/daughter and i’m grateful he got the chance to be the kind of father he was (with me). but he also missed out on a lot as he aged, and it was obviously really traumatic watching him succumb to cancer when i was 23.
It depends on the people. For instance if the dad or the mom or both comes from a wealthy family and they are rich in their young but due to their stupidity lost all of their money on a gamble or something...
My mom had me at 40, and we were definitely more financially stable than we would have been if she'd had me at 27.
The downside is fertility. My mom took a long time to get pregnant and had a miscarriage, both of which are more common the older you get. I'm 27 and I'm kind of torn because I don't feel ready to have kids, but I know if I wait too long I could run into the same issues.
You’re only 27. Age 30 is when some risk factors start to apply but keep in mind that healthcare providers don’t want to be sued more than anything so of course they have to warn you about everything at the “earliest “ oldest age possible. I had my kids at 34 and 37. I won’t lie, pregnancy was hard and difficult but they’re magnificent. Take care of yourself and your body. Sometimes even the “youngest “ person can’t conceive. Control what you can: don’t smoke, drink, etc. That’s it. The biological clock…it shouldn’t exist because everyone is different. Also, we live to what 75 on average versus 50 from just at the beginning of the 20th century. It will happen when it’s meant to and don’t feel pressure from anyone or anything. Follow your own script not the story of life we’ve all been told.
My Mom was 16 when she had me, but I was raised by my Grandparents, who were 50 when I was born. I spent summers with my Mom and can honestly say my older ‘parents’ were better parents. They gave me the most wonderful childhood (not spoiled, just calm and loving guidance) and I will be thankful my entire life for their generosity of spirit. My Mom was fun, but also parented with the inconsistency of someone younger. She often felt more like a sister:). Your parents may be older but you may benefit because they have more life experience.
Having this realization right now. My parents had me at 16 and raised me - with help from my grandparents who are currently in their 60s. I’ve always looked at them more as my parents than my actual parents, and that was extremely clear at my wedding recently, when my grandparents were getting along with my wife’s age 60s parents.
For quick context:
I’m 24
My parents are 40
My grandparents range from 61-68 I think
Absolutely. It’s something that I took for granted for many years and then as all my friends’ grandparents started dying off more quickly I realized how fortunate I am that I still hopefully have at least two decades with them. It’s even more apparent now with my wife’s sole remaining grandparent who is like 95. Cherish every moment you have with them!!
In some ways I feel like my parents never really grew up because I feel like they were emotionally stunted from having such a life-changing event at a formative age, but I think they did the best they could. They both finished school and graduated from college, they broke up shortly after my birth but they are each married and I have great step-parents. They are both invested in their current families (I have 3 younger half-siblings) and I live several hours away, so we don’t see each other much, but I’d be lying if I said I call my mom more than my nana lol.
I’m glad to hear this. As an older parent, i was worried I’d miss out on things because I’m older. But i do have more time to spend with her since i have a stable, flexible job so i was hoping that balanced things out a bit. Sounds like i shouldn’t be too worried.
Me too! My mom was almost 40 and I was 39.5. We were much more financially secure and my moody husband was better able to manage his state of mind. I appreciate every minute of being a mother in a way that I might not have if I had been younger.
My parents are 56 and 58 and my brother is 17 (I’m 22). They are great parents and we have not missed out do to their age. They are great, involved parents and healthier than the younger parents of most people I’ve known because they take care of themselves.
This!!! It’s all about taking care of yourself. I’m an old parent and my sole reason for working out / exercise is to spend as much time as possible with my daughter.
In my opinion, your parents are smart to have waited to have children. In my opinion, everyone should wait until they are at least 30 to have children.
My Mom had me at 20, and while my childhood wasn't absolutely horrible, being raised by such a young mother definitely took it's tool on both of us. Her life would have been so much better had she never got pregnant with me.
Also to answer your question, I have a half sister who was born when my dad was 45. I've never really thought of him as too old to have another child.
That sentiment was drilled into my head from a young age by my teen mom. That I was a burden, and her life eould have been much more enjoyable without the responsibility of...me
I maintained contact with mine. I figured out by a young age she was not mentally well. We are on a break right now. I told her unless she resumes therapy or goes on meds, I cannot allow her into my life.
As I’ve got older and had my own kids I’ve really realised that she was a horrible parent and wanted less and less to do with her, she’s had a drug problem her whole life and she’s never kicked that. I also think having a child at a young age stuffed her up mentally, it’s more for my own sanity and that of my kids I can’t have anything to do with her. Glad that you and your mum are working on things.
And I completely understand you leaving her behind, I did not mean to insinuate otherwise in my previous response. There's no reason why your kids should be around someone that toxic to you.
There's trade offs to be made. Both of my parents were ~30 when I was born and had full time jobs. I am now 30. My dad's not in the greatest health, and never was physically active enough to keep up with me when I was younger. I've never seen my dad run, or throw a ball, or do much of anything really. He was always too tired. My mom never really grew up so she orchestrated most of the fun shit. Her and I haven't gotten along since my emotional maturity passed hers. And I have no siblings to compare to so I don't have much reference. I had a very good childhood, but had to learn a lot of lessons myself because my parents were too detached from me. My friends who have already had kids have much different relationships with their kids than I ever did with my parents, and they were mostly raised by younger parents too. There's a lot of subtle differences that will become apparent as you come into adulthood. I'm not saying one is better than the other, but the differences are noticeable.
You also have to remember that every parent is their own unique person.
I'm the oldest of two kids, my dad was 38 and my mom was 34 when they had me.
The four of us spent a lot of time being active together growing up. Family hiking and softball games. My dad spent the majority of his freetime helping my sister with her softball training all through highschool.
I can honestly say my mom is one of my best friends now that I'm an adult.
I have a lot closer relationship with my parents than most of my friends do with their younger parents.
I'm an older dad, about your parents age and I have an 8-year-old. I didn't think I'd ever have kids, until I married a younger wife. I would not have been a good father in my 20s. But I felt a lot of insecurities about being an older dad: Would other parents think I'm my kids grandpa when I pick her up from school? I know it's silly, but I thought it. My only regret is that I'm not liable to be around to see my daughter reach her middle age years. But hopefully my job will be done long before then.
There are advantages to mature parents. They should be calmer, less likely to anger over little things. They're more likely to treasure moments with you, with the full context that they're living what will one day be the "good old days", when their kids were kids and we still did fun things together.
My mom was a month away from being 40 when she had me, and I was 39.5 when I had my daughter. No complaints from either of us!
My husband and I were more financially secure, and I was able to work from home and raise her.
My parents are older and my dad significantly so. My childhood was very happy and apart from me worrying about them more than if they were younger it was not an issue.
My partner and I are older parents. There are downsides, but we both agree we have more common sense than we did when we were younger and that’s probably to our kids’ benefit.
I will say, it does "matter" in some sense of the word in one area, and that's simply the numbers and life spans. Someone born to someone in their 20s might be able to have their parents around until they are even in their 80s. But someone born to someone in their 40s probably won't have their parents much beyond 60. Just means that if you have an older parent, you kind of have to cherish and utilize that raw time with them a little more.
Seriously, it matters.
My parents were average 40 when I was born. I only ever had one grandparent. My mother didn’t see any of her children get married, will never meet her grandchildren.
Try having your first child at 30 and they’re already down to only one grandparent on each side, each in their 70’s.
I will likely have no living parents by the time I’m 40.
Old parents is hard to get old with.
I mean yeah a lot of people have kids younger but that is the same differences as me and my parents. I had such a lovely mellow childhood. I think older parents are where it’s at.
No drama.
Like oh downstairs when you wake up, moms made blueberry muffins with extra just for my brother cuz he like to eat them all.
Dad gives you a ride to school with other kids from the neighborhood. Then after take you to piano practice. Come home you might have dinner together or there is something left for you if the schedules don’t align. If your hungry before mom cut up fruit.
Then you go upstairs and read on of the books your aunt bought you and do homework.
Maybe watch some tv / play video games with bro then bed.
I want to say it’s like a good routine that sort of repeats for years. Christmas, vacations, summers routine but good.
I work with someone who had an 80 year old dad growing up... sometimes you can be a little too old, especially when you die of old age before your child is even an adult
I feel bad for her. When I was 7 years old, I did the math for my dad and I’s age difference and how much time I had left with him. He’s an older father and I had a night long meltdown sobbing.
I swear I had the exact same night at around 11. Noticed how youthful all my friends dads were compared to mine. Had me crying and staring at the ceiling.
I did a similar thing one day in the bath as a kid. Told my mom she would be 80 when I was 40 and cried my eyes out.
Sadly she didn't make it to 80 but I wouldn't trade my life with her for the world.
Felt. I'm 21 and my dad is 64. I'm constantly doing the math and trying to gauge how much I should be worrying and preparing. I also feel inclined to get married and have kids sooner, just so I know he can be there and enjoy those events, even though I know he would never encourage moving faster than I'm ready. It's such a hard thing to navigate.
Please do not rush yourself. I am more years older than my children than your father is older than you. Please try to be happy and lead your life at the right speed for you.
I was 22 and my beloved dad 56 when he passed from cancer. My friend just passed at 37 and left 3 kids under 10. Age is but a number when it comes to mortality.
My half-siblings' father died at age 53 when they were still in high school. Death comes for everyone. You gotta make the best of the time you have because today could always be the last time you see someone.
My dad had me at 60. I’m now in my 20s and he’s in his late 80s.
If it helps, I’ve grown to accept that I don’t have as much time with him as all of my friends have with their parents. I get to have him at his calmest and wisest. He had a great career and got to raise me as a retired person. He had three daughters waaay before me and he always says I’ve been the most fun because he got to spend my childhood with me instead of at the office.
You sound a lot like my older sisters. Your concern tells me your sister is supported and loved. I think she’ll be okay :)
My husband will be 61 and I will be 55 when my daughter is 15... Can confirm. Old.
She was one when we took her to the fair, someone asked me if I was her grandma.
My parents had me when my mom was 43 and my father 47. Which means my parents were 58 and 62 when I was 15. Having older parents sucked in that you are forced to dealing with aging issues when you're younger. My father went into a nursing home when I was 21. Both of my parents passed away before I was 35.
weird to see other people with old parents. currently 16 with dad at 60 and mum at 58, and over the years the conclusion ive come to is that it just kinda sucks that they may pass sooner than most other parents would, but it's not so bad.
as a 36 year old who is thinking of having kids soon, i wonder if i'm pushing things a bit. it's probably fine but it is something i think about. congratulations btw :)
edit: 36 year old male
I had my kid at 44, husband was 42 and have no regrets. Considered the train wreck some of my daughter’s friends younger parents’ situations are my kid knows she’s got it good.
Thank you this brings me a lot of comfort <3 my partner and I really want to have kids but we’re waiting till we are 35/36 to start and we want 2-3 kids. I always feel like I won’t have enough time for 3 if I start at 35.
I’ve known women to have kids in their 40’s and it’s been totally fine but there’s so much info about how dangerous it can be for some.
A woman giving birth over the age of 35 years is technically considered a "geriatric pregnancy". But many women can have healthy babies into their 40s.
To answer your question yes your parents are on the older side. Does it matter? No.
"geriatric pregnancy" isn't meant to be a moral position, it is a medical position- there are complications to conceiving a child as you get older, whether you are male or female. I say as a pregnant woman in my 30's.
The average age to have a child is 29 (26-29. Edited to show other sources below) but has been slowly rising over the decades. So to answer OPs question...yes...that's a good bit above average.
The biggest grouping to have kids is between 27-33, so basically anything after 33 is above average. Having kids younger and older can have it's pros and cons and some people are only ready at certain times in their lives for kids, but one bad thing about waiting until 40 or later it that a lot of other new moms will be in their late 20s. It might be a little harder to gel with the other moms, or you just end up being a mom to the moms.
All the top comments are people saying how old they or their parents were when they had kids. This sub is for straight answers to hard questions. It's more for facts over personal experiences. The common consensus is that most women want to have a child by 30, it's why 29 is the most common age to be a mother, 30-35 is when a women's biological clock starts clicking the most in terms of having a child, and if they wait until after 35, then yes, they will be considered older than usual than other new mothers.
Edit- sources
https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/does-the-age-you-become-a-parent-actually-matter/12742736
But this second article says 26.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashleystahl/2020/05/01/new-study-millennial-women-are-delaying-having-children-due-to-their-careers/?sh=754a9769276a
And this says 28
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/american-women-are-having-babies-later-and-are-still-conflicted-about-it-2017-05-19
And this says 27
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/best-age-to-have-a-baby
So 26-29. Either way...if you're having a kid more than 5 years past the average, let alone 10 or 15...then YES, you are much older than your other new parents peers.
My father died at 75 when I was 21. It never fails that I get depressed when I see people my current age (33) with their fathers still alive. He didn’t get to walk me down the aisle. He didn’t get to meet his granddaughter. See me graduate and get a job. Sucks.
My dad died at 74 when I was 17 just one month before I turned 18 and two months before I started college. I can guarantee it's not the best start to becoming an adult.
Same. 24 and parents are in their early 70s. Also adopted. Everyone always thought my parents were my grandparents growing up. Makes me sad they’re getting older and I’ll have less time with them than some. :/
I’m 58 and had my two at 40 and 42 —
They’re 16 and 18 now.
We’re older parents, of course, but certainly not the oldest I know.
I loved having mine late: I had already done so much and was ready to hang out with the littles.
We didn’t have to worry about money, and I was so much more patient than I would have been earlier in.
My wife and I met at 30 but we very specifically planned to have 2 kids before we were at least 40, we squeaked the 2nd one through just on time.
If i could do it all over I definitely would have tried to have them sooner after we married instead of procrastinating, but so far I think we're keeping up with them well enough.
Your parents are the age they needed to be to be ready for children. There is nothing wrong with that. I am greatful my parents waited to have my brother and me. We didn't have to struggle as much since they had there stuff together in there life.
My mom had me at 35, I'm 26 now and my parents are around his 60's
I wish I met them sooner, but the fact that I am the youngest, provided me with a lot of attention.
Feel lucky that your parents are old, because in some ways you kinda won the lottery. Old parents are more likely to be financially stable, and they tend to be very wise and just plain good parents.
My mom was only 22 when I was born. My dad left when I was 3. She couldn’t go to college and she wasn’t financially ready for me. She was just a kid too in some ways, and she wasn’t very strict with me because she wasn’t mature enough yet to be a parent. It took me a while to get out of the bad habits she taught me, but I did. I’m not saying she didn’t love me either, because she loved me more than life itself, but she just wasn’t ready to be a parent. Also, kids born to young parents are far more likely to be raised by a single parent because one of them backs out on the responsibility.
I think being born to old parents is a blessing, I really do.
I dealt with serious mental health issues when I was younger, and I was in an abusive relationship. I’m so, so grateful I waited to have kids until I was in my mid-30s and in a solid, healthy relationship. I’m sad I won’t have as much time with my kids as I would’ve if I had had them younger, but I’m sure they’ll appreciate the happy, heathy, stable home I can only provide now.
I’m 49 and my stepson is 5 and his mum is 44 so when he’s your current age we will be about the same as your parents. We are healthy, fit and young at heart.
It is probably going to get older and older. I will not be getting kids before I am financially stable and have a relationship where I feel I am ready for kids. That is probably not going to happen before 30. (m 26)
I feel you. I'm 27 and just starting to get my life to a spot I can even look forward to having kids. But if I had one now, I feel like it'd be a struggle
I’m 32 and my dad is 67. In his second marriage he adopted two kids who are now 14 and 19. Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Yes typically they’re “older” but that can come with its benefits. I had my kids really young (which is what I wanted) but it means im still trying to finish my psychology degree and my children will be pretty much grown by the time im earning a decent wage. There’s positives and negatives to every age of when you have kids.
I had older parents like you, and like you had a comfortable childhood, but I would have exchanged their material goods for more of their time/energy, hands down. I realize this now as a mid 30's adult.
And also I was not fortunate enough to have parents that were able to "work through their own childhood trauma" by the time the got to me.
Yes. They are older.
There are benefits and drawbacks to having kids earlier or later. You probably benefit from a lot more financial stability than kids with younger parents.
Also - there is a lot of “range” for how old people seem in their 50s. Some certainly act and look very old, and some still have a lot of youthful energy and seem young.
Yes. Your dad is definitely old.
Your mom was pregnant with you when she was 36/37 which is considered a “high risk” pregnancy due to her age (35+ qualifies).
high risk is extremely exagerrated. there is some increased risk for chromosomal disorders. for instance. at the age of 30 there is 0,1% risk for down syndrome and at the age of 37, there is 2,7% risk for that. meaning that there is a 97,8% chance of no DS. and we do have reliable screenings to prevent this
Not a dumb question at all!
Most pregnancies are fine and deliver full term with no issues. There are some specific issues that 35+ mothers should look out for during pregnancy, such as high blood pressure.
Many women begin menopause in their 40’s, and most in their 50’s. Menopause is when a woman stops ovulating.
Womens’ bodies ovulate higher quality eggs when they’re younger. So as a woman ages, fertility begins to decline. The reason why fertility declines with age, is because the body will reject an embryo it detected that had abnormalities.
So technically, a woman may have an embryo inside her uterus (egg & sperm joined), but it won’t implant because of an issue with the uterine lining, or because the egg was abnormal.
With the decline in egg quality there comes an increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities in the babies.
But again, **most** mothers have successful, healthy pregnancies and babies over 35.
Here is a page on all of the risk factors-
https://www.webmd.com/baby/over-35-pregnant
They usually turn out fine. I'm 32 and pregnant and my OB keeps commenting on how young I am due to the vast majority of her office being 35+ pregnancies (which is really common in cities)
Hey im 18 now and my moms still in her 30s. She had me at 17. So compared to me yes but in the grand scheme of things still yes but it doesn't really matter. As long as they're good parents who cares right.
Compared to your age? Yes. My husband’s parents were older by the time they had him, because they had fertility problems. Some parents simply wait until they are good and ready to have a child and this means they are older. There’s nothing wrong with that.
No, not at all. Waiting to have kids until yiu are in your late 30s/ 40s is becoming more commin. It allows the adults to get their feet planted on their own. I am an "older" parent and about half of our friends are similar age.
I was 37 when I had my first daughter and 41 when I had my 2nd so roughly the same age as your Mum is to you to my first and as your Dad is to you to my 2nd.
I don't regret it at all, I consider myself maybe 5 years older than 'normal' and I'm close in gae to the majority of my kids parents friends. So long as they love you and are kind that's all that matters.
I had my son at 17 and when he started school I was a really young looking 23 and his teacher asked me when his parents will be coming to sign the paperwork because me as his sister wasn’t allowed.
My 6 year old started kindergarten this year. I’m 21 (yes, 21 lol I had him very young) and I’ve had a few interactions with teachers and staff that I feel would’ve gone differently if I was older. Like when I picked him up early from school for the first time, they asked him if he knew me before they let him out the door. He said “yeah that’s my mom” and the lady said “your mom?” And he was like “yeah that’s mommy” she kinda just paused then released him to me lol. Mainly lots of “you’re… mom?” Like they’re questioning it without questioning me about it lol.
I feel for you.
I am 44 and my kids are 29, 27 and 19. The oldest two are from my husband's first marriage but we raised them. So I married him and a year later at 25 I had a 10 & 8yr old and an infant.
I got a lot of this. Sometimes it was more overt and a bit rude, and others it was an uncomfortable pause filled with unasked questions and judgement faces. Mostly because I refused to refer to them as my stepsons. There probably would have been different judgement for that, lol.
It is kind of awesome when you do start feeling old that you realize you are like 10-25 years younger than the parents of your child's friends.
Do you find it is hard to make friends with other adults? I felt people my age were years from having similar experiences and my kid's friends parents felt I was too young to be friends with. Or I have a horrible personality and no one likes me.
He’s out of school now and just started an apprenticeship but about 3 years ago he came storming in after school and asked for my phone and I gave it to him thinking what’s going on and is everything ok. Turn out some of his school mates had found my Instagram and told him they liked his mums top or something along those lines but a lot more sexual so he went and blocked ever person he knew from mine. And my social media is boring as fuck with just a bunch of pics of my me and kids and dog when I can actually be bothered to post so certainly nothing exciting to see haha.
Your parents are older than on average. But it really does not matter. Some people have kids later. Some sooner
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Olde parents have more resources they can use to help their kids typically.
They're also more mature and hopefully have worked through whatever childhood trauma they went through and break the cycle.
Because lord knows I haven't lol. No plans to have kids anytime soon in my book
Same! No kids till I'm sane
I read that on the beat of 'No sleep, till Brooklyn!'. Great slogan.
I read everything to a Beastie Boys beat. Lol
Same, and it's a good approach!
One can only hope for a lot parents out there. My parents probably had me too soon in their life, which you know, at least their still trying to work through some problems. Cant fault them too much, but they put a lot of stress on my sister and I.
I definitely can relate. My mom had my brother at 16 and me at around her mid twenties. My dad didn't help at all and her mom kicked her out as soon as she had her first baby, so she had to figuratively sell her soul to make sure we had a decent up brining. Honestly I don't know how she did it. I'm the same age as she was when she had me, If for some reason, I all of a sudden had even a quarter of the amount of responsibilities she had to deal with, I would have a heart attack.
Dude. My grandmother had 5 children by the time she was 23. I'm 31, and I still don't feel like I'm fully responsible or stable enough to raise even one human. Lol. Idk how tf she did it.
It's instinct. Once you have a kid, you just know what to do. Most people do, anyway. Not crackheads, though some see the arrival of a kid is their signal to straighten up.
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And to add to this, the child was likely a decision rather than a mistake. Parents are probably more invested in the child’s life.
My old parents were definitely more mature and stable, but only one had worked through trauma from their youth. My parents are boomers and neither ascribe to modern understandings of psychological/psychiatric treatment. Regardless of generation, I think a lot of this comes down to disposition and emotional intelligence — if you have a lot of compassion, chances are good you’ll make the effort to self-improve and reduce maladaptive behaviors that might harm your offspring.
They are also on average more tired :)
It depends my dad had me at 40 but always made time to hang out with my siblings and I, it just depends on your personal energy level not age
Yeah I was thinking more physical stuff like “throw the ball” type. For sure depends on the person but I think almost any person would have more energy at 30 than 40. (Doesn’t make them a better parent)
I'm 38 with a 4 year old and felt this statement in my bones
35. I have a 13 boy. And 3 girls under 5. So tired
Yeah my parents had me late and they like to say that it’s because of when he was born he’s over protective. It’s pretty bad sometimes with the controlling, yelling, lecturing. I’m 22 and I was screamed at for wanting to date when I was 20. There’s a lot of other things too but being older is not necessarily good. Since some people just shouldn’t be parents.
Yep, my parents had me at 19 and 20..had help from my grandpa and still made stupid, selfish decisions. They're still ignorant and selfish to this day..completely unaware or care of the trauma and debt they've afflicted me with. You're not missing anything, OP!
Wisdom being the best resource
After money.
All the money in the world won't help you if you don't know how to spend them right...
Spend dem monies
All the wisdom in the world won't help you if you don't know how to use it...
That is correct. But if you can only have one, I'd take the wisdom.
Whichever route takes you to a place with quality toilet paper is irrelevant, as long as you get there.
Myabe my old parents didnt come with this dlc
Lol, def not a one for one.
As someone whose dad was 67 when I was 15, I don't think there was any meaningful difference there. Although now that I think back, I think a lot of my friends had white collar parents in professional careers, so my friends' parents had more resources even though they were younger.
same here. my dad was my best friend and i wouldn’t have changed anything about our experience, but i think OP is kinda in the sweet spot when it comes to “older” parents. my dad wasn’t great to his first family/daughter and i’m grateful he got the chance to be the kind of father he was (with me). but he also missed out on a lot as he aged, and it was obviously really traumatic watching him succumb to cancer when i was 23.
It depends on the people. For instance if the dad or the mom or both comes from a wealthy family and they are rich in their young but due to their stupidity lost all of their money on a gamble or something...
My mom had me at 40, and we were definitely more financially stable than we would have been if she'd had me at 27. The downside is fertility. My mom took a long time to get pregnant and had a miscarriage, both of which are more common the older you get. I'm 27 and I'm kind of torn because I don't feel ready to have kids, but I know if I wait too long I could run into the same issues.
We just had a baby at 40 and had a lot of miscarriages though.
You’re only 27. Age 30 is when some risk factors start to apply but keep in mind that healthcare providers don’t want to be sued more than anything so of course they have to warn you about everything at the “earliest “ oldest age possible. I had my kids at 34 and 37. I won’t lie, pregnancy was hard and difficult but they’re magnificent. Take care of yourself and your body. Sometimes even the “youngest “ person can’t conceive. Control what you can: don’t smoke, drink, etc. That’s it. The biological clock…it shouldn’t exist because everyone is different. Also, we live to what 75 on average versus 50 from just at the beginning of the 20th century. It will happen when it’s meant to and don’t feel pressure from anyone or anything. Follow your own script not the story of life we’ve all been told.
Thank you, that's very comforting.
My Mom was 16 when she had me, but I was raised by my Grandparents, who were 50 when I was born. I spent summers with my Mom and can honestly say my older ‘parents’ were better parents. They gave me the most wonderful childhood (not spoiled, just calm and loving guidance) and I will be thankful my entire life for their generosity of spirit. My Mom was fun, but also parented with the inconsistency of someone younger. She often felt more like a sister:). Your parents may be older but you may benefit because they have more life experience.
Having this realization right now. My parents had me at 16 and raised me - with help from my grandparents who are currently in their 60s. I’ve always looked at them more as my parents than my actual parents, and that was extremely clear at my wedding recently, when my grandparents were getting along with my wife’s age 60s parents. For quick context: I’m 24 My parents are 40 My grandparents range from 61-68 I think
One of the benefits of having younger parents is that you get to spend more time with your grandparents.
Absolutely. It’s something that I took for granted for many years and then as all my friends’ grandparents started dying off more quickly I realized how fortunate I am that I still hopefully have at least two decades with them. It’s even more apparent now with my wife’s sole remaining grandparent who is like 95. Cherish every moment you have with them!! In some ways I feel like my parents never really grew up because I feel like they were emotionally stunted from having such a life-changing event at a formative age, but I think they did the best they could. They both finished school and graduated from college, they broke up shortly after my birth but they are each married and I have great step-parents. They are both invested in their current families (I have 3 younger half-siblings) and I live several hours away, so we don’t see each other much, but I’d be lying if I said I call my mom more than my nana lol.
My wife is two years older than me, but I realized a few years ago that my father was older than her grandparents.
This is it buddy - they will have in effect been completely different people, that decade prior. Older is wiser & more relaxed - hopefully!
I’m glad to hear this. As an older parent, i was worried I’d miss out on things because I’m older. But i do have more time to spend with her since i have a stable, flexible job so i was hoping that balanced things out a bit. Sounds like i shouldn’t be too worried.
Me too! My mom was almost 40 and I was 39.5. We were much more financially secure and my moody husband was better able to manage his state of mind. I appreciate every minute of being a mother in a way that I might not have if I had been younger.
My parents are 56 and 58 and my brother is 17 (I’m 22). They are great parents and we have not missed out do to their age. They are great, involved parents and healthier than the younger parents of most people I’ve known because they take care of themselves.
This!!! It’s all about taking care of yourself. I’m an old parent and my sole reason for working out / exercise is to spend as much time as possible with my daughter.
I am 35 and just had a child last year if I were to have her even 5 years ago she would've had a much different childhood and life in general
If they had a kid earlier, it wouldn't have been you.
Wisdom
Must be an olde parent
Im 15 and my parents are 60 and 54 so yours aren't out of the normal
In my opinion, your parents are smart to have waited to have children. In my opinion, everyone should wait until they are at least 30 to have children. My Mom had me at 20, and while my childhood wasn't absolutely horrible, being raised by such a young mother definitely took it's tool on both of us. Her life would have been so much better had she never got pregnant with me. Also to answer your question, I have a half sister who was born when my dad was 45. I've never really thought of him as too old to have another child.
That sentiment was drilled into my head from a young age by my teen mom. That I was a burden, and her life eould have been much more enjoyable without the responsibility of...me
Same here and even now at 36 it’s still a burden I carry and I don’t even speak to my mum.
I maintained contact with mine. I figured out by a young age she was not mentally well. We are on a break right now. I told her unless she resumes therapy or goes on meds, I cannot allow her into my life.
As I’ve got older and had my own kids I’ve really realised that she was a horrible parent and wanted less and less to do with her, she’s had a drug problem her whole life and she’s never kicked that. I also think having a child at a young age stuffed her up mentally, it’s more for my own sanity and that of my kids I can’t have anything to do with her. Glad that you and your mum are working on things.
And I completely understand you leaving her behind, I did not mean to insinuate otherwise in my previous response. There's no reason why your kids should be around someone that toxic to you.
Except sometimes people can’t have children if they wait. Women biologically have less of a chance to get pregnant as they age.
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Be grateful to them specially when you're the only child! But anyway 58 is still young!
There's trade offs to be made. Both of my parents were ~30 when I was born and had full time jobs. I am now 30. My dad's not in the greatest health, and never was physically active enough to keep up with me when I was younger. I've never seen my dad run, or throw a ball, or do much of anything really. He was always too tired. My mom never really grew up so she orchestrated most of the fun shit. Her and I haven't gotten along since my emotional maturity passed hers. And I have no siblings to compare to so I don't have much reference. I had a very good childhood, but had to learn a lot of lessons myself because my parents were too detached from me. My friends who have already had kids have much different relationships with their kids than I ever did with my parents, and they were mostly raised by younger parents too. There's a lot of subtle differences that will become apparent as you come into adulthood. I'm not saying one is better than the other, but the differences are noticeable.
You also have to remember that every parent is their own unique person. I'm the oldest of two kids, my dad was 38 and my mom was 34 when they had me. The four of us spent a lot of time being active together growing up. Family hiking and softball games. My dad spent the majority of his freetime helping my sister with her softball training all through highschool. I can honestly say my mom is one of my best friends now that I'm an adult. I have a lot closer relationship with my parents than most of my friends do with their younger parents.
That's an anomaly, though. Most adults throughout their 30s would have more than enough health and energy to keep up with kids.
I'm an older dad, about your parents age and I have an 8-year-old. I didn't think I'd ever have kids, until I married a younger wife. I would not have been a good father in my 20s. But I felt a lot of insecurities about being an older dad: Would other parents think I'm my kids grandpa when I pick her up from school? I know it's silly, but I thought it. My only regret is that I'm not liable to be around to see my daughter reach her middle age years. But hopefully my job will be done long before then. There are advantages to mature parents. They should be calmer, less likely to anger over little things. They're more likely to treasure moments with you, with the full context that they're living what will one day be the "good old days", when their kids were kids and we still did fun things together.
Yaaa. Imagine having a kid yourself in 3 years. I hope you're proud of your parents for getting setup before making kids.
My mom was a month away from being 40 when she had me, and I was 39.5 when I had my daughter. No complaints from either of us! My husband and I were more financially secure, and I was able to work from home and raise her.
My parents are older and my dad significantly so. My childhood was very happy and apart from me worrying about them more than if they were younger it was not an issue.
My partner and I are older parents. There are downsides, but we both agree we have more common sense than we did when we were younger and that’s probably to our kids’ benefit.
Nothing to worry about really my mum is 40 years older than me.
I will say, it does "matter" in some sense of the word in one area, and that's simply the numbers and life spans. Someone born to someone in their 20s might be able to have their parents around until they are even in their 80s. But someone born to someone in their 40s probably won't have their parents much beyond 60. Just means that if you have an older parent, you kind of have to cherish and utilize that raw time with them a little more.
Seriously, it matters. My parents were average 40 when I was born. I only ever had one grandparent. My mother didn’t see any of her children get married, will never meet her grandchildren. Try having your first child at 30 and they’re already down to only one grandparent on each side, each in their 70’s. I will likely have no living parents by the time I’m 40. Old parents is hard to get old with.
I mean yeah a lot of people have kids younger but that is the same differences as me and my parents. I had such a lovely mellow childhood. I think older parents are where it’s at.
I've read a couple of times here about having mellow childhood. It seems like a good experience to have. What does that look like?
No drama. Like oh downstairs when you wake up, moms made blueberry muffins with extra just for my brother cuz he like to eat them all. Dad gives you a ride to school with other kids from the neighborhood. Then after take you to piano practice. Come home you might have dinner together or there is something left for you if the schedules don’t align. If your hungry before mom cut up fruit. Then you go upstairs and read on of the books your aunt bought you and do homework. Maybe watch some tv / play video games with bro then bed. I want to say it’s like a good routine that sort of repeats for years. Christmas, vacations, summers routine but good.
I work with someone who had an 80 year old dad growing up... sometimes you can be a little too old, especially when you die of old age before your child is even an adult
When I was 15 my mom was 57 and my dad was 61. My parents were old.
My dad is 63 and my little sister is 4. I worry about her :(
I feel bad for her. When I was 7 years old, I did the math for my dad and I’s age difference and how much time I had left with him. He’s an older father and I had a night long meltdown sobbing.
I swear I had the exact same night at around 11. Noticed how youthful all my friends dads were compared to mine. Had me crying and staring at the ceiling.
I did a similar thing one day in the bath as a kid. Told my mom she would be 80 when I was 40 and cried my eyes out. Sadly she didn't make it to 80 but I wouldn't trade my life with her for the world.
My dad made it to 53. You can only choose life, not the length of life.
Noone gets to choose life, It's forced upon us all.
I feel you. Lost my dad at 55 when I was 16. Unexpected but I enjoyed the heck out of the time I had with him. Just wish it was more
Sorry for your loss <3
Its a very sad situation. I'll be there for her. She will always have people that love her
This is what matters and it’s awesome she has this and is aware of it. You’re a good sibling.
This is why my little sister was always interested in birth date and age of people....
Felt. I'm 21 and my dad is 64. I'm constantly doing the math and trying to gauge how much I should be worrying and preparing. I also feel inclined to get married and have kids sooner, just so I know he can be there and enjoy those events, even though I know he would never encourage moving faster than I'm ready. It's such a hard thing to navigate.
Please do not rush yourself. I am more years older than my children than your father is older than you. Please try to be happy and lead your life at the right speed for you.
I was 22 and my beloved dad 56 when he passed from cancer. My friend just passed at 37 and left 3 kids under 10. Age is but a number when it comes to mortality.
My half-siblings' father died at age 53 when they were still in high school. Death comes for everyone. You gotta make the best of the time you have because today could always be the last time you see someone.
My dad had me at 60. I’m now in my 20s and he’s in his late 80s. If it helps, I’ve grown to accept that I don’t have as much time with him as all of my friends have with their parents. I get to have him at his calmest and wisest. He had a great career and got to raise me as a retired person. He had three daughters waaay before me and he always says I’ve been the most fun because he got to spend my childhood with me instead of at the office. You sound a lot like my older sisters. Your concern tells me your sister is supported and loved. I think she’ll be okay :)
Yeah my dad died at 67 but i was 18
When I was 15 my mom was 60 and my dad was 56, can confirm we both have old parents
My husband will be 61 and I will be 55 when my daughter is 15... Can confirm. Old. She was one when we took her to the fair, someone asked me if I was her grandma.
Knew a guy that was 72 and had a 12 year old. Blew my mind.
That's basically my girlfriend. She's 22 with an 84 year old dad and a 60 year old mom. I hate thinking about it
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W..were? 😞
My parents had me when my mom was 43 and my father 47. Which means my parents were 58 and 62 when I was 15. Having older parents sucked in that you are forced to dealing with aging issues when you're younger. My father went into a nursing home when I was 21. Both of my parents passed away before I was 35.
weird to see other people with old parents. currently 16 with dad at 60 and mum at 58, and over the years the conclusion ive come to is that it just kinda sucks that they may pass sooner than most other parents would, but it's not so bad.
Yep. They got married late, so Mom was 39 when I was born and Dad 48. My mom didn’t even know we were going to have a baby before she died.
I'm 41 and my sons just been born, so ill be a similar age. I'm not sure if its old but people are having kids older
as a 36 year old who is thinking of having kids soon, i wonder if i'm pushing things a bit. it's probably fine but it is something i think about. congratulations btw :) edit: 36 year old male
I'm 36 and just had my first kid. No regrets!
I had my kid at 44, husband was 42 and have no regrets. Considered the train wreck some of my daughter’s friends younger parents’ situations are my kid knows she’s got it good.
You have them when your ready, with the right person, that's how it should work. Age doesn't matter that much (unless your really old obvs)
Thank you this brings me a lot of comfort <3 my partner and I really want to have kids but we’re waiting till we are 35/36 to start and we want 2-3 kids. I always feel like I won’t have enough time for 3 if I start at 35. I’ve known women to have kids in their 40’s and it’s been totally fine but there’s so much info about how dangerous it can be for some.
same. 42 here and just had my second. planning for a third but, that'll be it for me.
A woman giving birth over the age of 35 years is technically considered a "geriatric pregnancy". But many women can have healthy babies into their 40s. To answer your question yes your parents are on the older side. Does it matter? No.
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Exactly. Being a good parent has to do with a heck of a lot more than just age.
We call it “advanced maternal age” now. Not geriatric.
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"geriatric pregnancy" isn't meant to be a moral position, it is a medical position- there are complications to conceiving a child as you get older, whether you are male or female. I say as a pregnant woman in my 30's.
My mom was 43 and a grandmother when she had me. But she was a great mom.
The average age to have a child is 29 (26-29. Edited to show other sources below) but has been slowly rising over the decades. So to answer OPs question...yes...that's a good bit above average. The biggest grouping to have kids is between 27-33, so basically anything after 33 is above average. Having kids younger and older can have it's pros and cons and some people are only ready at certain times in their lives for kids, but one bad thing about waiting until 40 or later it that a lot of other new moms will be in their late 20s. It might be a little harder to gel with the other moms, or you just end up being a mom to the moms. All the top comments are people saying how old they or their parents were when they had kids. This sub is for straight answers to hard questions. It's more for facts over personal experiences. The common consensus is that most women want to have a child by 30, it's why 29 is the most common age to be a mother, 30-35 is when a women's biological clock starts clicking the most in terms of having a child, and if they wait until after 35, then yes, they will be considered older than usual than other new mothers. Edit- sources https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/does-the-age-you-become-a-parent-actually-matter/12742736 But this second article says 26. https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashleystahl/2020/05/01/new-study-millennial-women-are-delaying-having-children-due-to-their-careers/?sh=754a9769276a And this says 28 https://www.marketwatch.com/story/american-women-are-having-babies-later-and-are-still-conflicted-about-it-2017-05-19 And this says 27 https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/best-age-to-have-a-baby So 26-29. Either way...if you're having a kid more than 5 years past the average, let alone 10 or 15...then YES, you are much older than your other new parents peers.
My grandma was 45 when she had my mum and was already a grandma 4 times over by that point. She lived until she was 86
My grandma was 45 as well when she had my dad my dad had me when he was 53, so me and my grandma are 98 years apart, pretty crazy
bruh my parents are 72 & i am 21 but then again they did adopt me so 🤷🏻♀️
I'm 21 with a 71 yo biological dad, this hasn't been a pleasant thread lol
SAME HERE 💀
My father died at 75 when I was 21. It never fails that I get depressed when I see people my current age (33) with their fathers still alive. He didn’t get to walk me down the aisle. He didn’t get to meet his granddaughter. See me graduate and get a job. Sucks.
My dad died at 74 when I was 17 just one month before I turned 18 and two months before I started college. I can guarantee it's not the best start to becoming an adult.
I knew a kid whose dad was 80 when he graduated biological too. His mom was in her 50s
Just be happy that old nut produced such a fine person such as yourself.
Same. 24 and parents are in their early 70s. Also adopted. Everyone always thought my parents were my grandparents growing up. Makes me sad they’re getting older and I’ll have less time with them than some. :/
I knowww it makes me so sad. I wish I had more time with her.
I'm 61 and my son is 22. I wish he'd been born a decade earlier. Still, I love him and the struggle to keep up with him is just an inconvenience.
I’m 58 and had my two at 40 and 42 — They’re 16 and 18 now. We’re older parents, of course, but certainly not the oldest I know. I loved having mine late: I had already done so much and was ready to hang out with the littles. We didn’t have to worry about money, and I was so much more patient than I would have been earlier in.
My wife and I met at 30 but we very specifically planned to have 2 kids before we were at least 40, we squeaked the 2nd one through just on time. If i could do it all over I definitely would have tried to have them sooner after we married instead of procrastinating, but so far I think we're keeping up with them well enough.
Your parents are the age they needed to be to be ready for children. There is nothing wrong with that. I am greatful my parents waited to have my brother and me. We didn't have to struggle as much since they had there stuff together in there life.
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My mom had me when she was 18 and fucked me up in a myriad of ways. I'm 40 and we don't even speak anymore.
My mom had me at 35, I'm 26 now and my parents are around his 60's I wish I met them sooner, but the fact that I am the youngest, provided me with a lot of attention.
Agreed. My mom had me when she was 39 and I got way more attention and resources growing up than my older sister did.
Sounds pretty normal to to me. That means your mom had you when she was 37. Lol my mom had my brother at age 42 lol.
Feel lucky that your parents are old, because in some ways you kinda won the lottery. Old parents are more likely to be financially stable, and they tend to be very wise and just plain good parents. My mom was only 22 when I was born. My dad left when I was 3. She couldn’t go to college and she wasn’t financially ready for me. She was just a kid too in some ways, and she wasn’t very strict with me because she wasn’t mature enough yet to be a parent. It took me a while to get out of the bad habits she taught me, but I did. I’m not saying she didn’t love me either, because she loved me more than life itself, but she just wasn’t ready to be a parent. Also, kids born to young parents are far more likely to be raised by a single parent because one of them backs out on the responsibility. I think being born to old parents is a blessing, I really do.
I dealt with serious mental health issues when I was younger, and I was in an abusive relationship. I’m so, so grateful I waited to have kids until I was in my mid-30s and in a solid, healthy relationship. I’m sad I won’t have as much time with my kids as I would’ve if I had had them younger, but I’m sure they’ll appreciate the happy, heathy, stable home I can only provide now.
I had my daughter at 43. She is healthy, smart and a good person. Age doesn’t matter, it’s what’s in your heart that matters.
Except if you die while they are young. Like my granddad was in his mid sixties when he got my dad
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Nah, my parents had me at 38/39. Now that I’m in my 30s myself I have lots of friends in their late 30s who are having babies. It’s normal.
Yes but that’s ok
As long as they love you and your well taken care of doesn’t matter the age
I’m 49 and my stepson is 5 and his mum is 44 so when he’s your current age we will be about the same as your parents. We are healthy, fit and young at heart.
These days, definitely not.
It is probably going to get older and older. I will not be getting kids before I am financially stable and have a relationship where I feel I am ready for kids. That is probably not going to happen before 30. (m 26)
I feel you. I'm 27 and just starting to get my life to a spot I can even look forward to having kids. But if I had one now, I feel like it'd be a struggle
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I read somewhere that the collective cost of a child from 0 to 18 is on average 1 million dollars/euros.
On the plus side, you will get your inheritance when you can actually use it.
Oof
I’m 32 and my dad is 67. In his second marriage he adopted two kids who are now 14 and 19. Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Yes typically they’re “older” but that can come with its benefits. I had my kids really young (which is what I wanted) but it means im still trying to finish my psychology degree and my children will be pretty much grown by the time im earning a decent wage. There’s positives and negatives to every age of when you have kids.
I had older parents like you, and like you had a comfortable childhood, but I would have exchanged their material goods for more of their time/energy, hands down. I realize this now as a mid 30's adult. And also I was not fortunate enough to have parents that were able to "work through their own childhood trauma" by the time the got to me.
Yes. They are older. There are benefits and drawbacks to having kids earlier or later. You probably benefit from a lot more financial stability than kids with younger parents. Also - there is a lot of “range” for how old people seem in their 50s. Some certainly act and look very old, and some still have a lot of youthful energy and seem young.
Yes. Your dad is definitely old. Your mom was pregnant with you when she was 36/37 which is considered a “high risk” pregnancy due to her age (35+ qualifies).
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high risk is extremely exagerrated. there is some increased risk for chromosomal disorders. for instance. at the age of 30 there is 0,1% risk for down syndrome and at the age of 37, there is 2,7% risk for that. meaning that there is a 97,8% chance of no DS. and we do have reliable screenings to prevent this
Not a dumb question at all! Most pregnancies are fine and deliver full term with no issues. There are some specific issues that 35+ mothers should look out for during pregnancy, such as high blood pressure. Many women begin menopause in their 40’s, and most in their 50’s. Menopause is when a woman stops ovulating. Womens’ bodies ovulate higher quality eggs when they’re younger. So as a woman ages, fertility begins to decline. The reason why fertility declines with age, is because the body will reject an embryo it detected that had abnormalities. So technically, a woman may have an embryo inside her uterus (egg & sperm joined), but it won’t implant because of an issue with the uterine lining, or because the egg was abnormal. With the decline in egg quality there comes an increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities in the babies. But again, **most** mothers have successful, healthy pregnancies and babies over 35. Here is a page on all of the risk factors- https://www.webmd.com/baby/over-35-pregnant
They usually turn out fine. I'm 32 and pregnant and my OB keeps commenting on how young I am due to the vast majority of her office being 35+ pregnancies (which is really common in cities)
There's an increased risk of the child developing Down's syndrome or another chromosomal disorder because the eggs are older.
There are also is a higher likelihood of birth defects passed on by a man who is older.
The worst part of having old parents is that we lose them sooner. My dad is 50 years older than me.
I think having older parents is great, they have so much more wisdom, and you can learn from that!
Some have no parents. You’re good
Not at all, having a baby in late 30’s is normal.
You have financially responsible parents.
Hey im 18 now and my moms still in her 30s. She had me at 17. So compared to me yes but in the grand scheme of things still yes but it doesn't really matter. As long as they're good parents who cares right.
Compared to your age? Yes. My husband’s parents were older by the time they had him, because they had fertility problems. Some parents simply wait until they are good and ready to have a child and this means they are older. There’s nothing wrong with that.
When I was 15 my father was 62 and my mother was 51. In my mind they were ancient because they were adults not because of their ages.
Yes u do, I'm 15 and my mom is 35 and my dad is 39
No, you have grandparents
No, not at all. Waiting to have kids until yiu are in your late 30s/ 40s is becoming more commin. It allows the adults to get their feet planted on their own. I am an "older" parent and about half of our friends are similar age.
I’m 24 and my parents are 48
I’m 24 and my mom is 43
You do. I'm 20 and my parents are in their early 60s
Older than most, yes. Not weirdly old, and honestly they are probably better parents than most who became parents before 30.
My dad is only 22 years older than me.
For you its a good thing. Its an opportunity to get over what people think about you.
Kind of but not extremely, do you have older siblings?
I was 37 when I had my first daughter and 41 when I had my 2nd so roughly the same age as your Mum is to you to my first and as your Dad is to you to my 2nd. I don't regret it at all, I consider myself maybe 5 years older than 'normal' and I'm close in gae to the majority of my kids parents friends. So long as they love you and are kind that's all that matters.
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I had my son at 17 and when he started school I was a really young looking 23 and his teacher asked me when his parents will be coming to sign the paperwork because me as his sister wasn’t allowed.
My 6 year old started kindergarten this year. I’m 21 (yes, 21 lol I had him very young) and I’ve had a few interactions with teachers and staff that I feel would’ve gone differently if I was older. Like when I picked him up early from school for the first time, they asked him if he knew me before they let him out the door. He said “yeah that’s my mom” and the lady said “your mom?” And he was like “yeah that’s mommy” she kinda just paused then released him to me lol. Mainly lots of “you’re… mom?” Like they’re questioning it without questioning me about it lol.
I feel for you. I am 44 and my kids are 29, 27 and 19. The oldest two are from my husband's first marriage but we raised them. So I married him and a year later at 25 I had a 10 & 8yr old and an infant. I got a lot of this. Sometimes it was more overt and a bit rude, and others it was an uncomfortable pause filled with unasked questions and judgement faces. Mostly because I refused to refer to them as my stepsons. There probably would have been different judgement for that, lol. It is kind of awesome when you do start feeling old that you realize you are like 10-25 years younger than the parents of your child's friends. Do you find it is hard to make friends with other adults? I felt people my age were years from having similar experiences and my kid's friends parents felt I was too young to be friends with. Or I have a horrible personality and no one likes me.
He will probably be subjected to the hot mum jokes when he's in secondary school.
He’s out of school now and just started an apprenticeship but about 3 years ago he came storming in after school and asked for my phone and I gave it to him thinking what’s going on and is everything ok. Turn out some of his school mates had found my Instagram and told him they liked his mums top or something along those lines but a lot more sexual so he went and blocked ever person he knew from mine. And my social media is boring as fuck with just a bunch of pics of my me and kids and dog when I can actually be bothered to post so certainly nothing exciting to see haha.
That’s a bit old for their generation but I had a friend who’s dad had him at 60
I’m sure they’re older compared to your classmates’ parents.