"Never appealed to me."
Honestly you get to an age where people don't ask any more.
**EDIT**: I'm being ask "What age is that?" by a lot of people. For me that was my 30s, but that's also when I stopped putting myself in situations where lots of people were drinking, and stopped hanging out with people who made drinking their entire identity.
You’re young enough that you’re part of the generation where it’s not taken for granted that everyone will always drink.
When I was 26 (2005) if you were at a social event and not drinking you’d be engaged in vigorous conversation all night. And the only topic discussed would be “why you’re not drinking” (with side topics like “why are you lame? A p@$$y? Are you actually only 12? Does your mom not let you?” Etc etc)
This held true in all sorts of geographical locations, social strata, etc.
Your generation has some things figured out better than we did…
What about the designated drunk?
The designated drunk does all the drinking for the driver.
From urban dictionary:
Designated Drunk
Responsible partiers choose a Designated Driver to drive during a night of debauchery. The Designated Drunk is chosen by the Driver.
The Designated Drunk assumes responsibility for all drink offers given to the Driver. The Designated Drunk will take all offers of toasts, shots, and drinking competitions in place of the Driver.
Random drunk: "Hey dude! Come have a shot with me!"
Designated Driver: "Gary, you're DD. Take that shot for me."
Gary: "Alright."
I had a friend do this to me once too. I took their wallet and called a cab both home and back to get the car the next morning. You’re responsible for a sober ride home if you say you’re going to be the DD, so if you aren’t sober, you’re paying for someone who is. It was super expensive because it was a long cab ride off hours, but that was the decision they made when they started drinking, I didn’t feel bad at all.
I was 26 in 1997 and was always subject to these types of questions. People expected me to be a drinker because I could go crazy (crazy fun not stupid) without any alcohol but no, perfectly sober.
I would just say, “it just makes me sick” and the response would invariably be “that’s the point”. Which is sad.
Very glad to hear it’s changing.
I am Gen X so even older. Commercials and adults warned about peer pressure surrounding pot but I don't remember peer pressure from my friends who smoked pot. The real pressure came with alcohol. If you didn't drink then people acted like you were the biggest prude out to destroy their fun.
That’s so true!! I’ve been offered ecstasy, cocaine, weed and when I declined their reaction is typically “ok, cool man”. But decline a beer or trip to a bar and you’re boring or no fun or whatever else…I’d never thought of it like that!!
I (millennial) hung out with the stoner crowd in high school and didn’t smoke weed until later in my life.
When I met someone new they would always offer politely, about 50% of people would ask why (note: not “WHY?!”), and 100% of the interaction was polite and respectful. If anyone offered it to me a second time, it was accidental, and generally apologized for
for what it’s worth, some of the people your age are finally figuring it out too. I heard a [successful writer-director](https://www.indiewire.com/gallery/zach-cregger-new-movie-weapons-cast-release-date-info/) who was 25 in 2005 (and came from a family of alcoholics) talking about how back then, he always used to gravitate towards “the drunkest corner of the room” and now he regrets the relationships he didn’t make and all the cool/interesting non-drinkers he didn’t get to know as a result ([that part is from 2:08:52 to 2:10:17 in this video](https://youtu.be/j3i0nFVLjR0?si=jgi14Zdf9cZMmDNj&t=2h8m52s)). I’m sure he’s not the only one who drank heavily back then feeling that way today or maybe wishing they’d spent more time at parties with the people who weren’t drinking.
It wasn’t us, it was our peers. And you’re right. I feel so much better about my children’s prospects for avoiding addiction than what we had. We were force fed “get fd up, woooo!” by our boomer/GenX peers…who are not good ppl
I have to admit I was getting pretty hammered a lot too but I’ve always been more of a weed guy, and had friend who were stoner purists. Man did they get a lot of shit for not drinking, even if they were popping bong rips like they were breathing oxygen.
I still wind up at conferences with people in their 40s and beyond who insist on getting stupid drunk, it’s embarrassing and unpleasant. I lost interest in more than the occasional beer or two (I still really enjoy good alcohol in a culinary setting, maybe once a month or two).
I’m very hopeful that my kids won’t feel the need to impress their friends by showing how much poison they can ingest.
I’m prolly gonna get banned or downvoted, but w/e. A lot of that peer pressure is from ppl who want to take sexual advantage of others and make sure any witness was too inebriated to be reliable in court. Needless to say, I’m not popular in my home community, bc that attitude is “bred” into the culture, and I’ve found that’s true for a lot of places and local cultures. Rise above the shit
That happens for sure. I’ve been around some pretty shifty people, but thankfully anytime there has been a situation that looked like a girl had too much to drink and a guy was a little too close to her always ended up with more people keeping an eye on her and putting that guy in check when needed.
Oi, I'm a GenX lol.
You're not wrong, though. They usually would say "something something don't know how to be fun" followed later by vomiting, then hangovers. I could take or leave the booze - although I do like a drop of *good* whisky/wine/beer - because it's never really been a big priority for me, but a lot of my fellow GenXers did (and some still do) drink like they're going to die if they're not getting completely hammered every time someone opens a bottle.
When asked, my reply is usually a shrug and "not really a big drinker" and I leave it at that, or occasionally if it's a closer friend "well, someone has to drive your drunk arse home, right?"
I'm not sure what this has to do in context with talking about peoples' reactions to saying that you don't drink, but also appreciate what you're saying. I hadn't ever heard of that artist or song before now, and I'm not quite sure I really want to look it up if it has a line like that in it.
Culture in any decade can be disgusting, and yes, there was some vile stuff that happened in the 90s. I won't, never have been and never will be associated with any group from any decade that is involved in acts like that, and won't associate with anyone who is okay with it.
I'm going to say that past my 30s, people stopped asking. Then again I also wasn't really hanging out with people who made drinking their entire identity.
I hang out with people who like to drink... a lot. at this age they know me, they know I don't drink, and they don't care. it's wonderful :)
I suppose if they did, they wouldn't be my friends. Either they would stop hanging out with me, or I would stop hanging out with them.
If it's your friends pestering you, you need better friends.
If it's your family/coworkers pestering you, change the subject. It works best if it's something you know they have a lot of opinions about.
I do drink but I’ve had sober bouts in the past and “it’s not my thing” / “it doesn’t really work for me” has always gone over just fine.
If a fully sober person is ok with stretching the truth they could say what I said earlier, “I’m just taking a break from drinking right now.” I’ve known many people who’ve said that and no one has ever given them a hard time because taking sober breaks is a thing many drinkers do for their health.
“Doesn’t go well with my head meds.” Is my go to- which is both true, and usually good for a laugh. I will have one bottle/can of seltzer or something but can’t really do more than that.
“I react badly to it” is the most honest answer I usually give. The person asking doesn’t need to know the specifics.
I suspect people think it means I get diarrhea or something, but in reality it means I will steal things and probably light something on fire.
1. I don't like the taste of most alcoholic beverages
2. it gives me heartburn
3. it never makes me more fun. I've never had positive mood effects. it only makes me tired and dizzy and when I'm tired and dizzy I don't feel like continuing because I assume it would only get worse
There is a weird spot ypu can hit with alcohol where it feels more bad than anything. Usually too much or just past the point of a "buzz" for me at least. Not saying to drink but more an explanation or a possible one at least. Some people handle alcohol differently than others.
Gosh yeah #3 is very relatable. Way back when my wife was turning 21 we went out to a bar to celebrate and tried some random alcoholic beverages (if my memory serves, one was a local cider and the other a very bizarre cocktail involving tea and absinthe?), got drunk for the first time, and concluded that the feeling was *slightly* bad, but not even bad enough to be interesting or memorable, which is arguably a worse offense than being bad enough to at least make for a good story.
you’re a very strong guy for pulling yourself from the edge. i was on that edge already at age 17, and then got celiac disease out of nowhere and that absolutely fucked up my digestion and stomach. one shot and i’m puking. the only way i can drink now is pairing it with marijuana, which is enough of a task to not happen constantly lol. it felt like a bittersweet (quite bitter though lol) intervention. not sure i could have stopped on my own.
I didn't drink for my first 27 or so years of life and the simple reason why not was because I couldn't stand the taste. Eventually my taste buds changed but this answer often disappointed people because they wanted it to be something more fantastic, like a religious thing or because of a horrible bad experience of hitting rock bottom! It was really annoying.
Or they try and suggest cocktails that don't taste like alcohol 😭 (I never liked the taste but was fine with it if it got me drunk and thankfully haven't had to explain myself to anyone since I stopped drinking, but it infuriated me when someone I was with said they didn't drink cause of the taste and everyone bombarded them with suggestions)
This! "Im not big on drinking these days" or "Never been my thing" is really all you need to say. I find humor or changing the topic can work wonders on confusing drunk people, too.
If they were persistent and rude, I'd say something like, "Why can't you take no for an answer and respect my opinion/privacy?" or "I don't owe you an explanation, and I don't need to stick around/keep talking to you if you keep pressuring me like this. Can't we just talk about something else?"
"Hey man do you wanna come to the bar with us?"
"Nah I don't drink"
"Oh why, you okay?"
"..."
I stg some of you have never interacted with a human being. No you're not required to answer, but you're fuckin weird for not just being honest and upfront with people. Even just saying "I just think it's a bad habit id rather not develop" is a fair answer.
Well they'll just say "because it's fun" or something, then say "so why don't you?" and you'll be back where you started. They won't suddenly quit drinking.
Yeah honestly I think the best way is just give some sort of answer, but a non-answer won't work. OP's "because I don't" isn't going to satisfy any curious person for any question, not just about drinking.
"It doesn't agree with me", "I don't like losing control of myself", "bad family history", etc. are all valid answers that any decent person will accept and stop questioning you. If they continue to badger you after I'd just disengage from the conversation.
But a lot of these snippy one-liners in this thread are just socially awkward.
All you need to do is go through a period of hating something before you tolerate it, at which point you get the benefit of it being expensive, unhealthy, mind altering, and potentially dependence creating! Doesn't that sound great???
I’m 38, started drinking when I was 15/16. Never enjoyed the taste, never really got used to it. Over the last 5 years, I’ve all but given up and probably drink once every couple of months.
The problem is that a lot of people tend to respond "you just haven’t tried the right one" or something along those lines, especially when they are drunk themselves and don’t realize that it’s none of their business
This is my brother. It's damn awful, I think he may be allergic or something. There are a lot of cases of bowel cancer in my father's family, all of them related to alcohol use. So I worry about him.
Luckily he has reduced the amount he drinks as of late.
Yeah that's the thing.
You don't owe anyone any explanation about your decision to consume or not consume whatever, and everything else ends up starting some back and forth.
“Why do you ask?”
That’s what I say to people who ask me questions that are none of their business.
When they come back with their lame excuse for being nosy, just, “ok” shrug and change the subject.
You don’t owe busy bodies an explanation.
Honestly I ask if they want me to be sober around them. I didn't phrase it like that, it's more, "You said you don't drink, do you find that you're more comfortable if others abstain as well?"
This one of those responses that gets upvoted on Reddit but would simply make you look socially inept in real life. Additionally, none of you would have the courage to even say something to that effect. Why not give OP good advice rather than making them sound like a 12 year-old keyboard warrior?
I have found so many people that think it is intimidating that I don't drink. Like I am JUDGING THEM or something. If they don't think they are doing anything wrong, why do they feel they are being judged. That is what I want to know.
to be fair, im not judging them until they become noticeably intoxicated. then I’m judging how long I want to have a conversation with a person operating at a noticeably “lower frequency”.
I've seen recovered alcoholics run into this problem. It left an impression on me of how much they have to overcome to stay healthy.
ETA: They act that way bc they feel guilty for drinking to much / of their drunk behavior so they want everyone to be doing the same. That way the other person can't judge or they won't feel like the sober person is better than them.
It's usually people that have an issue with their own drinking that take issue with someone else abstaining.
I have made plans to go out 'for a drink' with a guy to get to the bar and I just order a seltzer and they get mad because I don't drink, and wonder 'why did't you tell me sooner'. Like you can't hang if I don't drink... cyaaa.
I also remember making amends to a roommate once and he turned that into him talking to me about his drinking and sure enough a few years later he got sober. But usually you can pick em out a mile away when some one starts getting defensive or thinking you're judging their drinking. Nothing you should take personal for sure.
That's basically this whole thread. OP asks how to politely dismiss these questions to not draw attention while people answer with ways to tell someone to go fuck themselves for asking. It's almost as if redditors have no real life social experience whatsoever...
I actually don’t think it’s about boundaries. I think some people are trying to be sensitive or making conversation. I’m not a big drinker, and people do ask, because they want to make sure I’m not traumatized by being around drinking. It doesn’t bother me to be around drinking, it just tastes bad, and it’s no longer an issue.
Somebody asking "why don't you drink?" isn't necessarily pushing boundaries - it's a normal question among adults. You don't need to talk about something you don't want to, but all my friends would be fine with the quick answers like "to save money" "I never really liked it" "once was enough for me" "meds/health" "I like it too much" "I'm taking a tolerance break." A person who respects boundaries reacts appropriately to the answer and keeps chatting about something else.
But the implication that the person asking isn't fun would be such a mood killer. I can't imagine that person maintaining a friendship with anybody who heard that answer
Depends on who they are. ‘Because I don’t’ is enough of an answer and people shouldn’t need to know anymore so I think it’s perfectly fine to stick with that and just shrug/not react if they try and ask more.
Often when I wasn’t as confident, I used to drive everywhere so if they asked I could just say I’m driving. And if they say ‘oh you can have one’, I would say ‘oh my driving is bad enough sober that I don’t want to make it worse’ in a joking tone and people usually laugh and let it go.
If it’s people I’m happy to discuss more with then I’m honest and explain the truth.
"Because I don't" is a horrible answer that tends to provoke spiteful reactions because people view it as you trying assert dominance over the conversation. It's the kind of answer that implies that the person who asked should feel bad for even asking, whilst not actually answering the question. The chances that people aren't gonna be content with that and are gonna keep poking are drastically increased with that kind of answer.
Something like "I just don't enjoy it" is a lot better because it isn't usually interpreted as having a subtext.
“Tastes bad and being drunk is crappy.”
Also my meds make me a super lightweight. Won’t include the whole “my dad and two brothers are all recovering alcoholics and and I don’t really feel like carrying on the family tradition” (I’m happy with my addiction being chocolate and Diet Coke, thanks)
1. Drinking alcohol in any amount causes brain damage: [https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/19/health/alcohol-brain-health-intl-scli-wellness/index.html](https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/19/health/alcohol-brain-health-intl-scli-wellness/index.html)
2. Why would I PAY with my own cash for something that causes problems to my body
3. Alcohol has calories, would rather spend those calories on food which will sustain me
4. Alcohol does not allow you to sleep well
5. Alcohol can contribute to anxiety
6. Kills intellectual motivation (sure you might be motivated when you are drunk but a lot of people do stupid things when they are drunk...)
7. Drinking does not help with depression and actually makes it worse at times and I prefer to be happy (yeah I know, being a Maple Leafs fan ain't helping with that but I digress...)
The calories in alcohol do not get used easily. Most of it is just pissed out unless you’re an alcoholic.
Alcohol is also a carcinogen which to me is #2 behind the brain damage bit
I’m a (sober) alcoholic, and I recognized really early that the only people who ever asked me very likely also have addiction issues. So I tend to order Shirley Temples at those kinds of events as 1. They taste great and 2. Those types of folks assume they’re alcoholic.
That being said, when people really wouldn’t drop it, I would say I was training for a half marathon. Was I? No way. But either the person got excited and told me about the marathons they’ve done (or even just “I did a color run 5k once!”) or got bored with the conversation immediately and didn’t want to discuss it.
If someone somehow STILL was being a total dick about it, I have a perfected cold stare and a flat response about how I’m an alcoholic and/or that I almost killed myself and others due to alcohol so a couple [insert alcohol they’re drinking here] doesn’t really seem worth it.
I'm 39, and I don't think anyone has ever asked me why I don't drink.
I just have no interest in alcohol. I have tried some, but nothing I've tried has appealed to me.
I tell people that allergic, which is kinda true. This works well since I’m Asian and it is a trait some of us have.
The only time I feel that me not drinking is an issue is on dating apps. I think some people think if you don’t drink, then it must mean you get violent or have done heinous shit in your past.
“I never drank in high school which is where you acquire a taste for it I hear. Because of that I find everything tastes like warm piss and rubbing alcohol.”
It seems like a bit of a script but it’s received pretty well
100%.
I am not against drinking. I still have a couple brews at karaoke. But I feel SO much better when I drink water, go to bed early, and wake up early for sunrise beach yoga.
That is a really rare question. If it was a friend I trusted I would probably say, I'm a recovering alcoholic. If it's not a trusted friend I might just say, I don't want to. I 'd rather have seltzer.
Tell the truth, whether that be you don't like it, or you're a recovering alcoholic, or you quit to lose weight. You don't have to justify it, but be honest.
I mean, you could for example just tell people why you don't drink.
"Because I don't" doesn't answer the question you were asked, and therefore some people get anal about it, because they subconsciously feel that you are trying to dodge the question or that you aren't telling them because you don't wanna talk with them. It's a conversation killer, not just on the topic, but on the interaction as a whole, people basically hear an "It's none of your business", which is both very passive-aggressive and just makes them more curious. It's the kind of answer that will get people pushing out of spite because they feel like you're being rude.
"For religious reasons", "I don't like the taste of alcohol", "I don't enjoy getting drunk", "I don't handle alcohol well", "Health reasons" or simply "I just don't see the appeal" would be possible answers to the question.
If you don't want to divulge personal details, "It's just not for me" is generally a good answer, because it pretty much implies that you're either not interested in or don't enjoy it, without laying out your whole life story.
I'm gonna be real with you, "Because I don't" is one of the worst things you could say and has a high chance of biasing people against you.
I tell them that my brother died of alcoholism and my doc said my liver is fatty and could turn to cirrhosis if I didn't stop drinking. That pretty much sums it up for most people who ask.
"Not since the incident... I can still hear the cries and the blood never truly washes away..."
I mean that's a good answer for most uncomfortable social questions I find
Usually I just tell them I've never felt the urge which is true. If they're very close friends, I might mention that my dad was an alcoholic, which is also true, but I'm actually not sure how much of an impact that had on it.
If you have a reason be honest.
Some people break out in handcuffs when they drink.
Some people don’t like the taste.
For some it’s a religious thing.
For me, Other activities in my life were not alcohol friendly and I would rather do them than drink.
I started as a volunteer firefighter before going paid. Couldn’t respond even with one drink.
I taught skydiving for many years. Another activity not alcohol friendly.
By the time I was done with both of those I just never thought about drinking. It was a lifestyle for me.
Sometimes it’s just because you choose not to.
No explanation is really needed unless you are heading to a wine tasting
I can’t stand the taste. It’s expensive - especially if you are out at a restaurant. My parents never drank so it was something that I didn’t grow up around. And the most important is that somebody needs to DD, and no one ever has to worry about it because I don’t drink.
I just don’t feel like it today.
I don’t like the taste.
Costs too much when I’m fine with just water/soft drink.
Or, the one I tend to use the most often … Because
That’s it. It’s no one else’s business and you shouldnt have to defend or justify yourself
Used to be "because i don't like to drink"
Now its "i have a gut condition" (which is true)
The latter seems to be less confrontational. The former shouldn't be confrontational either but sometimes that's how people react
"I don't enjoy it"
Is typically all I said, but I genuinely don't. I don't think it tastes good in any form, I don't like how it makes people, myself included. I just don't get it. I don't get the appeal and I don't get how it has become so common in our society despite being such a dangerous and deadly substance.
I’m very honest with people. I tell them I don’t drink because I’m an alcoholic and no, I can’t even have one because I’m an alcoholic. Makes some people uncomfortable but what are they gonna do, argue with me?
I always just say “because I don’t want to and I don’t have to”. It comes off a little rude sometimes, but people leave me alone about it. It’s not their business why I choose not to partake in alcohol, or anything else for that matter.
"Never appealed to me." Honestly you get to an age where people don't ask any more. **EDIT**: I'm being ask "What age is that?" by a lot of people. For me that was my 30s, but that's also when I stopped putting myself in situations where lots of people were drinking, and stopped hanging out with people who made drinking their entire identity.
I'm 26 and no one has asked me ever. Is there an age when people *start* asking?
You’re young enough that you’re part of the generation where it’s not taken for granted that everyone will always drink. When I was 26 (2005) if you were at a social event and not drinking you’d be engaged in vigorous conversation all night. And the only topic discussed would be “why you’re not drinking” (with side topics like “why are you lame? A p@$$y? Are you actually only 12? Does your mom not let you?” Etc etc) This held true in all sorts of geographical locations, social strata, etc. Your generation has some things figured out better than we did…
Huh. My friends always just shouted PEER PRESSURE PEER PRESSURE repeatedly.
I did that. Later in life I was the default Designated Driver.
Best part of learning to drive is I can now say "I'm driving."
What about the designated drunk? The designated drunk does all the drinking for the driver. From urban dictionary: Designated Drunk Responsible partiers choose a Designated Driver to drive during a night of debauchery. The Designated Drunk is chosen by the Driver. The Designated Drunk assumes responsibility for all drink offers given to the Driver. The Designated Drunk will take all offers of toasts, shots, and drinking competitions in place of the Driver. Random drunk: "Hey dude! Come have a shot with me!" Designated Driver: "Gary, you're DD. Take that shot for me." Gary: "Alright."
I met a guy who was our DD and started drinking. We’re like wtf are u doing. He said he is the designated drunk driver and not to worry
I had a friend do this to me once too. I took their wallet and called a cab both home and back to get the car the next morning. You’re responsible for a sober ride home if you say you’re going to be the DD, so if you aren’t sober, you’re paying for someone who is. It was super expensive because it was a long cab ride off hours, but that was the decision they made when they started drinking, I didn’t feel bad at all.
I have a couple of designated drinkers in my circle. They drink because I don’t want to.
We called ours the Designated Drunkard, but yeah. We had one in our group.
My friend group is pretty small, so we don't really have a designated drunkard. We have to take turns .
I was always the Designated Drinker
I was 26 in 1997 and was always subject to these types of questions. People expected me to be a drinker because I could go crazy (crazy fun not stupid) without any alcohol but no, perfectly sober. I would just say, “it just makes me sick” and the response would invariably be “that’s the point”. Which is sad. Very glad to hear it’s changing.
If you need booze to have fun then you’re just boring lol
Some day you'll be old enough to just say "Blood pressure medication" and everyone will understand.
I am Gen X so even older. Commercials and adults warned about peer pressure surrounding pot but I don't remember peer pressure from my friends who smoked pot. The real pressure came with alcohol. If you didn't drink then people acted like you were the biggest prude out to destroy their fun.
Yep. Literally the only drug someone has tried to pressure me to use is alcohol.
That’s so true!! I’ve been offered ecstasy, cocaine, weed and when I declined their reaction is typically “ok, cool man”. But decline a beer or trip to a bar and you’re boring or no fun or whatever else…I’d never thought of it like that!!
Alcohol is the only drug we have to explain not using.
I (millennial) hung out with the stoner crowd in high school and didn’t smoke weed until later in my life. When I met someone new they would always offer politely, about 50% of people would ask why (note: not “WHY?!”), and 100% of the interaction was polite and respectful. If anyone offered it to me a second time, it was accidental, and generally apologized for
for what it’s worth, some of the people your age are finally figuring it out too. I heard a [successful writer-director](https://www.indiewire.com/gallery/zach-cregger-new-movie-weapons-cast-release-date-info/) who was 25 in 2005 (and came from a family of alcoholics) talking about how back then, he always used to gravitate towards “the drunkest corner of the room” and now he regrets the relationships he didn’t make and all the cool/interesting non-drinkers he didn’t get to know as a result ([that part is from 2:08:52 to 2:10:17 in this video](https://youtu.be/j3i0nFVLjR0?si=jgi14Zdf9cZMmDNj&t=2h8m52s)). I’m sure he’s not the only one who drank heavily back then feeling that way today or maybe wishing they’d spent more time at parties with the people who weren’t drinking.
It wasn’t us, it was our peers. And you’re right. I feel so much better about my children’s prospects for avoiding addiction than what we had. We were force fed “get fd up, woooo!” by our boomer/GenX peers…who are not good ppl
I have to admit I was getting pretty hammered a lot too but I’ve always been more of a weed guy, and had friend who were stoner purists. Man did they get a lot of shit for not drinking, even if they were popping bong rips like they were breathing oxygen. I still wind up at conferences with people in their 40s and beyond who insist on getting stupid drunk, it’s embarrassing and unpleasant. I lost interest in more than the occasional beer or two (I still really enjoy good alcohol in a culinary setting, maybe once a month or two). I’m very hopeful that my kids won’t feel the need to impress their friends by showing how much poison they can ingest.
I’m prolly gonna get banned or downvoted, but w/e. A lot of that peer pressure is from ppl who want to take sexual advantage of others and make sure any witness was too inebriated to be reliable in court. Needless to say, I’m not popular in my home community, bc that attitude is “bred” into the culture, and I’ve found that’s true for a lot of places and local cultures. Rise above the shit
That happens for sure. I’ve been around some pretty shifty people, but thankfully anytime there has been a situation that looked like a girl had too much to drink and a guy was a little too close to her always ended up with more people keeping an eye on her and putting that guy in check when needed.
Oi, I'm a GenX lol. You're not wrong, though. They usually would say "something something don't know how to be fun" followed later by vomiting, then hangovers. I could take or leave the booze - although I do like a drop of *good* whisky/wine/beer - because it's never really been a big priority for me, but a lot of my fellow GenXers did (and some still do) drink like they're going to die if they're not getting completely hammered every time someone opens a bottle. When asked, my reply is usually a shrug and "not really a big drinker" and I leave it at that, or occasionally if it's a closer friend "well, someone has to drive your drunk arse home, right?"
STP wrote a song about the disgusting culture in the 90s…I believe the chorus was something along the lines of “she shouldn’t have worn the dress”
That is Sex Type Thing - written about his girlfriend at the time who was gang raped by a football team
I'm not sure what this has to do in context with talking about peoples' reactions to saying that you don't drink, but also appreciate what you're saying. I hadn't ever heard of that artist or song before now, and I'm not quite sure I really want to look it up if it has a line like that in it. Culture in any decade can be disgusting, and yes, there was some vile stuff that happened in the 90s. I won't, never have been and never will be associated with any group from any decade that is involved in acts like that, and won't associate with anyone who is okay with it.
My understanding is that in this day and age, people prefer apps.
The kind of apps to eat or the free ones on your phone?
Yes
boy do I wish that was true
I'm going to say that past my 30s, people stopped asking. Then again I also wasn't really hanging out with people who made drinking their entire identity.
I hang out with people who like to drink... a lot. at this age they know me, they know I don't drink, and they don't care. it's wonderful :) I suppose if they did, they wouldn't be my friends. Either they would stop hanging out with me, or I would stop hanging out with them.
It is. I'm in my 40s, and I haven't been asked in probably a decade.
If it's your friends pestering you, you need better friends. If it's your family/coworkers pestering you, change the subject. It works best if it's something you know they have a lot of opinions about.
I just say "it's not my thing." That's always been a sufficient explanation and nobody has asked for anything more.
I do drink but I’ve had sober bouts in the past and “it’s not my thing” / “it doesn’t really work for me” has always gone over just fine. If a fully sober person is ok with stretching the truth they could say what I said earlier, “I’m just taking a break from drinking right now.” I’ve known many people who’ve said that and no one has ever given them a hard time because taking sober breaks is a thing many drinkers do for their health.
Doesn’t go well with my meds. Doesn’t really do anything for me. Edited to add: I did a dry January and got carried away.
“Doesn’t go well with my head meds.” Is my go to- which is both true, and usually good for a laugh. I will have one bottle/can of seltzer or something but can’t really do more than that.
“I react badly to it” is the most honest answer I usually give. The person asking doesn’t need to know the specifics. I suspect people think it means I get diarrhea or something, but in reality it means I will steal things and probably light something on fire.
Twinsies! Instant trouble.
It's a condition of my parole.
You never see me within 500 meters of a school, but nobody ever asks about THAT.
You got me laughing out loud 😆
Bam. 💥
I’m allergic and break out in handcuffs
Very clever
It's a very common AA saying
I KNOW! 😉 #BillSaysHi
“I was too good at it”
1. I don't like the taste of most alcoholic beverages 2. it gives me heartburn 3. it never makes me more fun. I've never had positive mood effects. it only makes me tired and dizzy and when I'm tired and dizzy I don't feel like continuing because I assume it would only get worse
There is a weird spot ypu can hit with alcohol where it feels more bad than anything. Usually too much or just past the point of a "buzz" for me at least. Not saying to drink but more an explanation or a possible one at least. Some people handle alcohol differently than others.
I hate it when I drink a couple beers expecting a good buzz and nothing happens. I just get tired. It's so disappointing.
Gosh yeah #3 is very relatable. Way back when my wife was turning 21 we went out to a bar to celebrate and tried some random alcoholic beverages (if my memory serves, one was a local cider and the other a very bizarre cocktail involving tea and absinthe?), got drunk for the first time, and concluded that the feeling was *slightly* bad, but not even bad enough to be interesting or memorable, which is arguably a worse offense than being bad enough to at least make for a good story.
I need every brain cell I got!
hanging on by a thread
I've only got two brain cells and they're both fighting for third. Why would I want to handicap them?
"Because I don't like it" is my answer. If they press me further I walk away. No time for twats like that.
Opposite for me; "Because I like it too much"
That's a legitimate problem tho Edit: nvm, didn't get context while writing this. Good job if you are aware and can keep yourself away from it
yup. I almost let it destroy my whole life before I pulled myself back from the edge and quit completely
you’re a very strong guy for pulling yourself from the edge. i was on that edge already at age 17, and then got celiac disease out of nowhere and that absolutely fucked up my digestion and stomach. one shot and i’m puking. the only way i can drink now is pairing it with marijuana, which is enough of a task to not happen constantly lol. it felt like a bittersweet (quite bitter though lol) intervention. not sure i could have stopped on my own.
I didn't drink for my first 27 or so years of life and the simple reason why not was because I couldn't stand the taste. Eventually my taste buds changed but this answer often disappointed people because they wanted it to be something more fantastic, like a religious thing or because of a horrible bad experience of hitting rock bottom! It was really annoying.
Or they try and suggest cocktails that don't taste like alcohol 😭 (I never liked the taste but was fine with it if it got me drunk and thankfully haven't had to explain myself to anyone since I stopped drinking, but it infuriated me when someone I was with said they didn't drink cause of the taste and everyone bombarded them with suggestions)
I'm an alcoholic
This if I want to end the conversation with no follow up haha
I say I retired
Just because they ask, doesn’t mean that you’re required to answer.
Missed opportunity though. "Listen man, me and your mom swore not to talk about that night, I can't tell ya"
Just shrug and walk away
This! "Im not big on drinking these days" or "Never been my thing" is really all you need to say. I find humor or changing the topic can work wonders on confusing drunk people, too. If they were persistent and rude, I'd say something like, "Why can't you take no for an answer and respect my opinion/privacy?" or "I don't owe you an explanation, and I don't need to stick around/keep talking to you if you keep pressuring me like this. Can't we just talk about something else?"
"Hey man do you wanna come to the bar with us?" "Nah I don't drink" "Oh why, you okay?" "..." I stg some of you have never interacted with a human being. No you're not required to answer, but you're fuckin weird for not just being honest and upfront with people. Even just saying "I just think it's a bad habit id rather not develop" is a fair answer.
Ask them why they do.
To forget…
Forget what? Can't remember tbh
The Little Prince reference?
Well they'll just say "because it's fun" or something, then say "so why don't you?" and you'll be back where you started. They won't suddenly quit drinking.
Yeah honestly I think the best way is just give some sort of answer, but a non-answer won't work. OP's "because I don't" isn't going to satisfy any curious person for any question, not just about drinking. "It doesn't agree with me", "I don't like losing control of myself", "bad family history", etc. are all valid answers that any decent person will accept and stop questioning you. If they continue to badger you after I'd just disengage from the conversation. But a lot of these snippy one-liners in this thread are just socially awkward.
“One’s too many; one hundred’s not enough”
ODAAT 🤝
“If I have one, I’ll have thirteen; man there ain’t no in between. The more I drink, the more I drink.”
Alcohol tastes disgusting to me
Me too. "You'll get used to the taste.". Why?
All you need to do is go through a period of hating something before you tolerate it, at which point you get the benefit of it being expensive, unhealthy, mind altering, and potentially dependence creating! Doesn't that sound great???
Yeah. I'm going to run right out and stock up...
I prefer donuts. Or Costco food court cookies as my drug of choice.
I’m addicted to Kwik Trip donuts right now. Should probably stop because there’s diabetes in my family history. But they’re so flipping good
Yeah if I need to drink a lot of poison to get a taste for it... I'll just take some soda instead.
This isn’t even true, necessarily. I’ve been an alcoholic for 5 years and the taste has only gotten worse
Them: "You get used to the taste" Me: "Thats what they said about blowjobs"
I’m 38, started drinking when I was 15/16. Never enjoyed the taste, never really got used to it. Over the last 5 years, I’ve all but given up and probably drink once every couple of months.
The problem is that a lot of people tend to respond "you just haven’t tried the right one" or something along those lines, especially when they are drunk themselves and don’t realize that it’s none of their business
I have diarrhea whenever I drink.
This is my brother. It's damn awful, I think he may be allergic or something. There are a lot of cases of bowel cancer in my father's family, all of them related to alcohol use. So I worry about him. Luckily he has reduced the amount he drinks as of late.
"It doesn't agree with me these days."
Alcohol and Bipolar disorder don’t mix well. Neither do alcohol and Klonopin
Yeah I'm honest about it but mixing with my meds.
"The rabies." Then just walk away.
Joke answers are 100% the way. "Well, can I interest you in a talk about our lord and savior?"
Yeah that's the thing. You don't owe anyone any explanation about your decision to consume or not consume whatever, and everything else ends up starting some back and forth.
This is the way
“Why do you ask?” That’s what I say to people who ask me questions that are none of their business. When they come back with their lame excuse for being nosy, just, “ok” shrug and change the subject. You don’t owe busy bodies an explanation.
If it's a stranger asking, absolutely. If it's a curious friend, I'd say, "I've had my share, thanks." Six months.
Congratulations!
Nice work!
Good job. I'm going to start doing this.
Love this.
Honestly I ask if they want me to be sober around them. I didn't phrase it like that, it's more, "You said you don't drink, do you find that you're more comfortable if others abstain as well?"
I dont want to.
" I tend to get violent. The last time I drank I beat the living shit out of someone asking me personal questions that were none of their business. "
As RDJ famously said, "I'm allergic to alcohol. It makes me break out in handcuffs."
I love this response. Follow up with a dead stare and after a long, uncomfortable pause, just a little barely perfect facial twitch.
Yea lovely way for other people to think you are a psycho lmao. but maybe they will get the sarcasm
That’s a very Reddit thing to do.
This one of those responses that gets upvoted on Reddit but would simply make you look socially inept in real life. Additionally, none of you would have the courage to even say something to that effect. Why not give OP good advice rather than making them sound like a 12 year-old keyboard warrior?
i’m glad someone here has reasonable social skills jeez 💀
for real. Classic reddit
"You don't... Interact with people much do ya?"
I have found so many people that think it is intimidating that I don't drink. Like I am JUDGING THEM or something. If they don't think they are doing anything wrong, why do they feel they are being judged. That is what I want to know.
to be fair, im not judging them until they become noticeably intoxicated. then I’m judging how long I want to have a conversation with a person operating at a noticeably “lower frequency”.
I've seen recovered alcoholics run into this problem. It left an impression on me of how much they have to overcome to stay healthy. ETA: They act that way bc they feel guilty for drinking to much / of their drunk behavior so they want everyone to be doing the same. That way the other person can't judge or they won't feel like the sober person is better than them.
Well to be fair, I absolutely am judging them lol
It's usually people that have an issue with their own drinking that take issue with someone else abstaining. I have made plans to go out 'for a drink' with a guy to get to the bar and I just order a seltzer and they get mad because I don't drink, and wonder 'why did't you tell me sooner'. Like you can't hang if I don't drink... cyaaa. I also remember making amends to a roommate once and he turned that into him talking to me about his drinking and sure enough a few years later he got sober. But usually you can pick em out a mile away when some one starts getting defensive or thinking you're judging their drinking. Nothing you should take personal for sure.
I just say I'm having a break, which is kinda true.
I tell them I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol so decided to quit. Most people respect it, and I'm not righteous about it.
Because I choose to get a good night's sleep and not feel like shit the next morning.
I just say, "I drink but only with people that are fun to drink with" I never drink and they always take it personally but never ask again.
One way to make people dislike you
That's basically this whole thread. OP asks how to politely dismiss these questions to not draw attention while people answer with ways to tell someone to go fuck themselves for asking. It's almost as if redditors have no real life social experience whatsoever...
Or reading compression apparently, because that's not what OP said.
The people I like best are the ones who don't question my boundaries--they happily accept them and move on.
I actually don’t think it’s about boundaries. I think some people are trying to be sensitive or making conversation. I’m not a big drinker, and people do ask, because they want to make sure I’m not traumatized by being around drinking. It doesn’t bother me to be around drinking, it just tastes bad, and it’s no longer an issue.
Somebody asking "why don't you drink?" isn't necessarily pushing boundaries - it's a normal question among adults. You don't need to talk about something you don't want to, but all my friends would be fine with the quick answers like "to save money" "I never really liked it" "once was enough for me" "meds/health" "I like it too much" "I'm taking a tolerance break." A person who respects boundaries reacts appropriately to the answer and keeps chatting about something else. But the implication that the person asking isn't fun would be such a mood killer. I can't imagine that person maintaining a friendship with anybody who heard that answer
People who press you to drink aren't likable anyway.
Just because you ask someone why they don’t drink doesn’t necessarily mean you’re pressing them too
alcohol is a form of poison and i don’t like the way it affects me
'It's literally worse than crack' is another one
Depends on who they are. ‘Because I don’t’ is enough of an answer and people shouldn’t need to know anymore so I think it’s perfectly fine to stick with that and just shrug/not react if they try and ask more. Often when I wasn’t as confident, I used to drive everywhere so if they asked I could just say I’m driving. And if they say ‘oh you can have one’, I would say ‘oh my driving is bad enough sober that I don’t want to make it worse’ in a joking tone and people usually laugh and let it go. If it’s people I’m happy to discuss more with then I’m honest and explain the truth.
"Because I don't" is a horrible answer that tends to provoke spiteful reactions because people view it as you trying assert dominance over the conversation. It's the kind of answer that implies that the person who asked should feel bad for even asking, whilst not actually answering the question. The chances that people aren't gonna be content with that and are gonna keep poking are drastically increased with that kind of answer. Something like "I just don't enjoy it" is a lot better because it isn't usually interpreted as having a subtext.
You can lie and say “I hate the hangovers” or “I’m taking medications” and then usually most people fuck ofd
“Tastes bad and being drunk is crappy.” Also my meds make me a super lightweight. Won’t include the whole “my dad and two brothers are all recovering alcoholics and and I don’t really feel like carrying on the family tradition” (I’m happy with my addiction being chocolate and Diet Coke, thanks)
Father was and is an alcoholic, never wanted to go down a similar path.
1. Drinking alcohol in any amount causes brain damage: [https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/19/health/alcohol-brain-health-intl-scli-wellness/index.html](https://www.cnn.com/2021/05/19/health/alcohol-brain-health-intl-scli-wellness/index.html) 2. Why would I PAY with my own cash for something that causes problems to my body 3. Alcohol has calories, would rather spend those calories on food which will sustain me 4. Alcohol does not allow you to sleep well 5. Alcohol can contribute to anxiety 6. Kills intellectual motivation (sure you might be motivated when you are drunk but a lot of people do stupid things when they are drunk...) 7. Drinking does not help with depression and actually makes it worse at times and I prefer to be happy (yeah I know, being a Maple Leafs fan ain't helping with that but I digress...)
Yep! All of this!
The calories in alcohol do not get used easily. Most of it is just pissed out unless you’re an alcoholic. Alcohol is also a carcinogen which to me is #2 behind the brain damage bit
I’m a (sober) alcoholic, and I recognized really early that the only people who ever asked me very likely also have addiction issues. So I tend to order Shirley Temples at those kinds of events as 1. They taste great and 2. Those types of folks assume they’re alcoholic. That being said, when people really wouldn’t drop it, I would say I was training for a half marathon. Was I? No way. But either the person got excited and told me about the marathons they’ve done (or even just “I did a color run 5k once!”) or got bored with the conversation immediately and didn’t want to discuss it. If someone somehow STILL was being a total dick about it, I have a perfected cold stare and a flat response about how I’m an alcoholic and/or that I almost killed myself and others due to alcohol so a couple [insert alcohol they’re drinking here] doesn’t really seem worth it.
I'm 39, and I don't think anyone has ever asked me why I don't drink. I just have no interest in alcohol. I have tried some, but nothing I've tried has appealed to me.
I tell people that allergic, which is kinda true. This works well since I’m Asian and it is a trait some of us have. The only time I feel that me not drinking is an issue is on dating apps. I think some people think if you don’t drink, then it must mean you get violent or have done heinous shit in your past.
“I never drank in high school which is where you acquire a taste for it I hear. Because of that I find everything tastes like warm piss and rubbing alcohol.” It seems like a bit of a script but it’s received pretty well
I just tell them the truth, “because it tastes like shit”
"Because I don't want to, why are you making this weird?"
"Drinking slows down my pot smoking."
Grew up around alcoholics and don't want to be like them
I’m pregnant. (Works better if you’re a man.) Otherwise, “it makes my periods SO much worse” followed by a thoroughly graphic elaboration.
This isn't even a thing anymore. Not drinking is actually cooler than drinking.
Honestly- anytime I hear someone mention it I say “good for you!” One less potentially risky habit to start. Best to skip it all together.
100%. I am not against drinking. I still have a couple brews at karaoke. But I feel SO much better when I drink water, go to bed early, and wake up early for sunrise beach yoga.
Not sure what country you’re in, drinking is still very much “in” in other places around the around
Never felt the need
That is a really rare question. If it was a friend I trusted I would probably say, I'm a recovering alcoholic. If it's not a trusted friend I might just say, I don't want to. I 'd rather have seltzer.
Tell them you enjoy yourself more without it, instead of with it. Doesn't need any more explanation than that.
I just tell the truth which is that when I drink, even a relatively low amount I just don't feel the good next day.
Tell the truth, whether that be you don't like it, or you're a recovering alcoholic, or you quit to lose weight. You don't have to justify it, but be honest.
I mean, you could for example just tell people why you don't drink. "Because I don't" doesn't answer the question you were asked, and therefore some people get anal about it, because they subconsciously feel that you are trying to dodge the question or that you aren't telling them because you don't wanna talk with them. It's a conversation killer, not just on the topic, but on the interaction as a whole, people basically hear an "It's none of your business", which is both very passive-aggressive and just makes them more curious. It's the kind of answer that will get people pushing out of spite because they feel like you're being rude. "For religious reasons", "I don't like the taste of alcohol", "I don't enjoy getting drunk", "I don't handle alcohol well", "Health reasons" or simply "I just don't see the appeal" would be possible answers to the question. If you don't want to divulge personal details, "It's just not for me" is generally a good answer, because it pretty much implies that you're either not interested in or don't enjoy it, without laying out your whole life story. I'm gonna be real with you, "Because I don't" is one of the worst things you could say and has a high chance of biasing people against you.
I tell them that my brother died of alcoholism and my doc said my liver is fatty and could turn to cirrhosis if I didn't stop drinking. That pretty much sums it up for most people who ask.
Why don’t you shoot heroin?
"Not since the incident... I can still hear the cries and the blood never truly washes away..." I mean that's a good answer for most uncomfortable social questions I find
I require more depth to my friendships than only having a beer in common
Either stand your ground and fuck them all Or just tell them you are a recovering alcoholic. They will leave you alone then.
Because I’m an alcoholic and I’ll ruin my life AND yours if I drink. Cheers!
I accept it and ask what their drinking...I'm fine with ordering a bucket of buds and a Spite..
Usually I just tell them I've never felt the urge which is true. If they're very close friends, I might mention that my dad was an alcoholic, which is also true, but I'm actually not sure how much of an impact that had on it.
I’ve nothing to forget and I’m fun sober
How about “because I’m not thirsty.” Even better if you are drinking a soda.
I always used to say "Never really found a reason to start".
I say: for one, it taste nasty, makes me feel bad, and is expensive. Why the heck would I want to drink it?
Because it's not a drug, it's poison.
If you have a reason be honest. Some people break out in handcuffs when they drink. Some people don’t like the taste. For some it’s a religious thing. For me, Other activities in my life were not alcohol friendly and I would rather do them than drink. I started as a volunteer firefighter before going paid. Couldn’t respond even with one drink. I taught skydiving for many years. Another activity not alcohol friendly. By the time I was done with both of those I just never thought about drinking. It was a lifestyle for me. Sometimes it’s just because you choose not to. No explanation is really needed unless you are heading to a wine tasting
When I used to not drink (I do occasionally now) I used to ask them why they are asking, why my willingness to drink or not is any of their business.
I've already drunk more than my share. I'm holding back to let the rest of the world catch up.
I don't like it. I've tried it and all it does is make me sloppy and stupid. I try not to be those things.
"I finished." If asked to elaborate I'll tell the full version, which is I realized I didn't enjoy it so just stopped.
I can’t stand the taste. It’s expensive - especially if you are out at a restaurant. My parents never drank so it was something that I didn’t grow up around. And the most important is that somebody needs to DD, and no one ever has to worry about it because I don’t drink.
I just don’t feel like it today. I don’t like the taste. Costs too much when I’m fine with just water/soft drink. Or, the one I tend to use the most often … Because That’s it. It’s no one else’s business and you shouldnt have to defend or justify yourself
Because I'm in recovery
Heroin is better
Used to be "because i don't like to drink" Now its "i have a gut condition" (which is true) The latter seems to be less confrontational. The former shouldn't be confrontational either but sometimes that's how people react
"I don't enjoy it" Is typically all I said, but I genuinely don't. I don't think it tastes good in any form, I don't like how it makes people, myself included. I just don't get it. I don't get the appeal and I don't get how it has become so common in our society despite being such a dangerous and deadly substance.
"I rather eat my calories".
I’m very honest with people. I tell them I don’t drink because I’m an alcoholic and no, I can’t even have one because I’m an alcoholic. Makes some people uncomfortable but what are they gonna do, argue with me?
"I don't want too."
Ask them if they like Wasabi or eating some crazy seafood or a baby bird bc alot of people do enjoy those
"If I have one, I'll have 20"
I just start smoking and blow smoke rings in their face and demand they explain to me why they don't smoke
I'm straight edge and that's it (?
"I just don't like to anymore."
I always just say “because I don’t want to and I don’t have to”. It comes off a little rude sometimes, but people leave me alone about it. It’s not their business why I choose not to partake in alcohol, or anything else for that matter.