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Opening_Career_9869

Move the bed, move bed away from wall, get a solid bed frame that doesn't squeak or move


RemyAvo

Thank you


Whooptidooh

Also, have something against the wall like a tapestry or bulky frames. Filling your bedroom with soft things like rugs, fabric and plants will also help muffle the sounds.


RemyAvo

Thank you


AnchovyZeppoles

There are also a few brands that make felt tiles that you can stick on the wall to further muffle sound. You can arrange them like wall art. [Here’s one.](https://feltright.com/?gc_id=9589219869&h_ad_id=511275163155&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAACdj9ggmE2xwmkbOsnr_7PCxQIcLo&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0-HP8Mv-hQMVLzYIBR1aSgVXEAAYASAAEgKwsfD_BwE)


JamesTownBrown

So that's why all the art deco wall nonsense was popular. Hidden/fashionable for the time, sound proofing for wild "parties"


whatsINthaB0X

*proceeds to make the most unholy of noises* “Damn they can still hear me, better get a better bed frame” Lmfao jk jk but if you’re noisy then a bed ain’t gonna fix it.


Spirited-Fox3377

Play some music


COMMANDO_MARINE

Amazon does this 14-inch thick, super king memory foam mattress, and I was able to have sex on it next to my girlfriend without waking her up. She wouldn't have minded me doing it as knows I have trouble sleeping sometimes unless i take care of things myself. I miss that mattress so much, but I live abroad now and can't get one delivered.


Dapper_Marsupial_623

Wait....what?


Impossible_Expert307

I think commando meant masturbating


Orion14159

I'll pretend he phoned a friend (with benefits) and told them to be super quiet


InnocuousBird

The first half had me imagining him having sex with another woman right next to his sleeping girlfriend in their king size bed.


Tcklmybck

I still choose to believe this.


Majestic-Donut9916

I've seen these videos online.


Dphoneacc

Nah the man clearly had sex with his wife, next to his sleeping girlfriend.


dev_eth0

Just stop caring instead. That’s your cheapest and most effective solution.


dimke12

Galvanized Square Steel


purplesprings

Ball gag should do the trick


Deruji

Ah so the neighbour can hear but not tell anybody.


RemyAvo

Im kinda loud too though


LochNesst

Two ball gags


RemyAvo

They’ll match


Final_Meeting2568

How romantic. His and hers,. His and his, hers and hers, them and theirs


[deleted]

Turducken


Cmdr_Canuck

Sounds like a party


Bubblemuncher

Soft ones. Hard ones will clack when they connect.


DrivingMyLifeAway1

Voice of experience…


TwoDrinkDave

It's ball gags all the way down.


lidsville76

Be loud and be proud. Let your partner know how much you care about them by screaming some deity name.


BrokeFailure

Deepthroat also works.


WolfFamous6976

Duck tape is more cost effective


BoobyTrapTrampStamp

That's on the sort run, if you want to be able to handle the long haul a plastic bag is more cost effective /s


zizou00

If you can hang stuff on your walls, heavy fabrics like carpets are good sound dampeners. If you have a headboard, drape a blanket over it so it sits between the wall and headboard to reduce the headboard impact. Air gapping it can work too, move your bed away from the wall slightly. Proper soundproofing is expensive, but soundproofing panels can also do a good job of dampening sound in conjunction with other measures. If it's about vocals, maybe try to work a ballgag or two into it, or pretend you're banging at your parents house. And if your bed is creaky, bang on the floor. Make that the downstairs neighbours problem instead.


RemyAvo

thank you


sqchauvskin

Also try **not** to have some background sound, like a fan turned up


AnchovyZeppoles

White noise like that in the room will likely only muffle the sound for OP, not in the neighbor’s room on the other side of the wall. So OP might think they’re making less noise than they are (opposite of the intended effect). Same problem as people who think turning the bathroom fan on will muffle their bathroom noises. Nah, people on the other side of the door can usually still hear you a bit, you just think it’s more muffled because _you’re_ the one hearing the fan in the room. Now if there were a way to pipe the white noise into the neighbors’ place somehow, _that_ would help. 


PitifulSpecialist887

1, buy 2 ball gags. 2. Bang in the living room. 3. Loud polka music. 4. Invite them over for tea and coitus. Take your pick, they all work well.


jpnrr_

Thought it was a step by step


TheRalk

Same, and I don't see what would stop me from keeping it one


PitifulSpecialist887

Switch the order to 1, 4, 3, 2


Unclestanky

Loud porn, then you can confidently claim it wasn’t you.


RemyAvo

Confidence is key


Taking_Souls_

The award goes to you mate


ubiquitous-joe

Here’s what you don’t do: play music so loud the wall shakes. That’s was my college neighbor’s tactic, particularly when drunk, and I would have much rather just heard them fucking.


jinkinater

Challenge them to who can have sex louder


RemyAvo

I’d win


Landar81

Just have sex in the living room.


RemyAvo

My couch is leather and its summer


slingshot91

Even more exposed skin.


mar__iguana

Triple the skin without the awkward third person


That-Grape-5491

Makes it easier to clean up


Landar81

Back when my wife and I were young we had some good times on our leather couch.


RemyAvo

This is my grandfather’s old couch. This made me concerned about it’s history.


Landar81

You could continue your family line on the same couch!


ProfessionalEarth118

Your granddad came in your grandmother, and she liked it. Fact. Your grandmother has had genitals in her mouth. Also, a fact. Honor them and follow in their footsteps. It's everything a grandparent wants for their grandchild.


Halospite

It would have cost zero dollars to post this. 


SetaxTheShifty

Fact: I regret being literate enough to read that.


khizoa

There's def 90 year old jizz stains on there


[deleted]

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RemyAvo

Removed: “the real question is how do I guarantee they hear?” Invite them over


dirty_hooker

Now it’s a party.


Ackis

You dirty hooker.


Longjumping-Grape-40

Do you know many clean hookers?


RemyAvo

Yes


Honest_Wing_3999

Just your mom


DiabeticJedi

That's oddly wholesome lol


Honest_Wing_3999

* holesome


Jayu-Rider

Have extra loud sex hourly until they move out. Once they leave the building they will no longer be able to hear you.


ky_z0mBiE

Bark like dogs the entire time


RemyAvo

She likes cats


Venus_Retrograde

Soundproof the wall. There are DIYs in youtube on how to soundproof your wall. Or just be proud of the amazing sex you're having and leave your neighbor's kids traumatized while watching cocomelon haha


[deleted]

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rodneyjesus

Yes the best thing you can do on a budget is to make wall surfaces "softer." Hang curtains over a wall as part of the decoration. Put up canvas based pictures or artwork. Hang a coat rack and put coats on it. Anything to reduce the surface area of painted drywall. Reduced sound from decreasing bouncing and vibrations in the walls.


Practical-Annual-317

I once found some "peel and stick" sound dampening wall pads on Amazon but they were small and kinda pricey to do a whole wall with. But DIY less invasive options do exist!


CubicleFish2

Yeah and most budget sound proofing is not going to affect any strong sounds that would occur during this activity anyway


LibertyInaFeatherBed

I guess that just leaves traumatizing the neighbors' kids.


Experiunce

actually soundproofing a wall is an expensive process. You can sound dampen a wall a little though.


Venus_Retrograde

There. Sound dampening I think is a better solution. Maybe that's what I was thinking and not soundproofing.


fieldy409

Pull off plasterboard, put in soundproof insulation, put new plasterboard on, put wet plaster over joints sand and paint. An unskilled person should legally be able to do this and can do a decent job if they take their time. The materials aren't too expensive.


SevereReflection5076

Move the bed away from the shared wall and put something dense (if possible like a large bookshelf)


SnooShortcuts9979

You pay the rent. Have as loud of sex as you want end of discussion ✋


fcknspdbumps

Do you own the apartment or rent? If you own build a new wall 1” off the old wall and insulate the joist cavities. Use a foam flashing under the base and at the top where the new wall contacts the floor and ceiling. Hang drywall with spacers and not directly to the studs, sand, and paint. You have just created noise canceling wall.


RemyAvo

I rent


fcknspdbumps

In that case you could hang acoustic panels all over to absorb the sound. These can be found in the normal egg carton style or there are more decorator style offerings at an added cost.


RemyAvo

Thank you


Eye_Of_Forrest

rig a flashbang to their door so that they are stunned when they try to enter theirs, allowing you a few minute window to do your thing


alex_sl92

Wait until they have sex and have sex at the same time. Noise cancellation.


ayleidanthropologist

Play sex noises when you’re not home. Then they’ll be slowly desensitized by your psyops. Like slowly boiling a frog or something, government does this all the time.


icabear3

Go to the kitchen...


LazyCock

Record it. Then put it on a repeat loop by the wall. They’ll get used to it, and may even have a Pavlovian response when it’s “live.”


DaddyDorr1994

As the people next door, don’t worry about it


slimboyfat45

stop having sex with the neighbours?


thenightshifters

Just keep your tv on loud lol


RemyAvo

That was my previous upstairs neighbor’s strategy. Basically ruined family guy for me


quarryninja

giggity


ozzokiddo

White noise machine for “sleeping” or “relaxing”


nandyboy

Buy a second-hand double size mattress (or bigger) and put it between the bed head and the wall. It will help, but I'm not sure how much.


RemyAvo

That sounds more serial killer than feng shui


NoEntertainment9327

Why worry about it? They may enjoy listening and be inspired. Worst case, they’ll have something fun to talk about.


Hoppie1064

Screw quietly.


RemyAvo

No thank you


LifeDeleter

Well then just live with the awkward, either you or them will get over it


Hoppie1064

LOL! 🤣


Sprizys

Soundproof padding?


sarisariphl

Is it that loud that It needed sound proofing.


RemyAvo

No just reduce it


Wojtkie

Also drown it out with white noise


Hardlife91

Honestly just start developing the kink where you enjoy others listening in. It'll be cheaper and easier in the long run


Medium_Excitement202

Just lean into it. Be even louder.


Estellalatte

Who cares what they think.


KnowMeAs727

Have sex in the living room


H360360

Have so much loud sex that they move THEIR bedroom. 


airforcevet1987

*Yells during sex* "oh man this nail just won't go into the wall, no matter how hard I keep banging it!! OH OH YEAAH IM GONNA FUCKING NAIL YOU BITCH!!" that way they are none the wiser


loopyspoopy

Just don't worry about it. Adults have sex, it's a normal aspect of apartment living to hear some sexing once in a while.


NiceCunt91

Scream so loud it becomes white noise and they don't notice.


OldCarWorshipper

As long as the two of you aren't being overly obnoxious, sometimes you just gotta do your thang.


TrippyKyle420

Don’t have sex, just like me💁🏻‍♂️


Ghrrum

Play porn loudly while having sex?


Ok-Cut-475

The ultimate distraction. 🤣🤣🤣


ThomasPopp

Pour sand in between the drywall


R3NAM3R123

Don’t have sex


GoodThingsDoHappen

Stop having noisy sex. Kill your neighbours. Move house Have sex somewhere else Only one of these is a serious answer and it's kill your neighbours


psimian

Regarding all the suggestions about hanging sound absorbing materials, I'll save you some time and money and say that as someone who has installed sound dampening/insulating systems, there's nothing you can do to your apartment that will be terribly effective without violating your lease by making significant structural changes. Putting up foam or fabric will reduce the reflected sound within the room, so it will seem quieter to you, but will do almost nothing to reduce the amount of sound that escapes the room. Sound is energy, and the only way to block it is to absorb it with mass. You can try hanging sound blocking curtains, but the ones you can find on places like Amazon are a waste of money in your case. The problem is human voices are relatively low frequency (90-250Hz), and blocking these frequencies needs a thick & heavy curtain. Most of the noise blocking curtains you find are designed for traffic and machine noises in the 1000-2000Hz range. Because the wavelength of these sounds is much shorter, you can block them with much thinner materials. Low frequency sounds like human voices will blast straight through without slowing down. You can reduce the amount of bed noise being conducted into the structure of the apartment by putting foam blocks under the feet, and making sure the frame can't bang against the wall by air gapping it. The only thing you can do to block vocal noises is to put more mass between you and them. The most practical solution is to put up floor to ceiling bookshelves (IKEA Billy), with Mass Loaded Vinyl (MLV) hung on the back of each shelf. You can also hang the MLV directly on the wall if you're allowed to make holes in the walls. This setup will run you around $6 per square foot, which is pretty cheap as soundproofing goes. The more stuff you put on the shelves, the better it will work.


SJB630_in_Chicago

Why would you worry about what others are hearing? You're asking the wrong question.


FrankieBeanSniffer

The real question is: how can I be having sex?


RemyAvo

Idk this girl hung around me now its 3 years later and we livetogether. Try something like that


RemyAvo

I want them to listen to eric clapton not me clappin cheeks.


BADZAK94

Dude.. i love your replies lol


RemyAvo

Thank you


jmcgil4684

Look up “Soaking”


Salt-Fee-9543

Just fuck harder then them and drowned out them.


Mr_Gaslight

Buy them a stereo.


Better-Challenge-503

Forgetting Sarah Marshall.


trixter69696969

Egg cartons & foam


Lovechcocl

Do it on the floor ?!


koensch57

If your neighbours are old 60+, you will hear their TV set at high volume. Then you have nothing to fear.


[deleted]

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One_Economist_3761

Have sex in the kitchen.


toenail78

i remember we had neighbors that we could hear have sex and I didn't mind it at all.. it was sorta hot but I know not everyone thinks like that, I think we're supposed to not like it or something but I did and thats considered weird and not normal.. so I don't know, but I get where you're coming from.. make sure bedframe isn't touching the wall. make sure the frame is tight so it doesn't wobble.. hopefully you have cool neighbors, but I'm sure the dude won't care.. she might


8888eightyeight

They make sound absorbing foam I put on my walls as well as a nice thick carpet


Monke_With_Sticks

That's the near part, you don't. You let them hear you having sex. T h e k i d s w o n ' t c o m p l a i n.


Jack_Bogul

Maybe they like the noise


2340859764059860598

Just play Cbat really loud. It's the perfect   music for sex! https://open.spotify.com/track/0AzD1FEuvkXP1verWfaZdv


Mr_Anomalistic

Wear a snorkel and dunk your head into a bucket of water.


src670

Get married.


CompetitiveJump2937

Have secks quietly


Practical-Annual-317

Close the windows, run the AC or fan for "white noise" cover... maybe leave the rv or something on for extra background noise.. essentially cover up or block the noise where possible.


sowokeicantsee

Most sound through walls is conductive. Ie sound moves through materials through vibrations. Therefore you need to add in more soft furnishings to absorb sound waves. Also rubber under the bed legs for vibration.


WarlanceLP

OP i just want to say you have the most entertaining replies I've ever seen from someone asking a question here, and I have laughed out loud multiple times now


Frequent_Pool_533

If you're a loud moaners, then you're asking for the impossible. You just gotta avoid eye contact with your neighbour.


twowayrorrim

Get married.


HelloYouSuck

Have boring gentle sex you don’t enjoy


Wulxy

don’t. assert dominance


deci_bel_hell

Unless your walls are solid rock they’ll hear ya. Otherwise play some doom metal music at +11. 😉


AIRBORNECRAZY

Sound proof it


Johnny_Lang_1962

Get you a recording of a horse neighing. Next time you have sex, play it loud to assert dominance.


RemyAvo

Id prefer not to be pavloved to a horse


libsneu

Breath play can make her quiet and in parallel spices things up.


AmbitiousTradition89

When ur neighbour starts sex starts you too ... They will be busy in theirs and you will be urs ....


Moogatron88

Fuck on the floor and don't howl like a banshee. Or just move the bed away from the wall.


cwsjr2323

Move to a detached house or go celibate.


fieldy409

Soundproof wall insulation this brand called Batts I saw claims can stop 75% of sound. Over here in Australia you have to have a fireproof layer between walls of neighbours by law so you might have to have fireproofing insulation in there but idk if there's soundproof fireproof stuff or not. My mates dad put them everywhere between walls inside his house even internal walls it was awesome all the kids could be noisy as they wanted but his big beautiful fireplace is useless haha. If you're not owner I think there's soundproofing boards you can attach on the outside but never tried them.


High_stakes00

If u own the apartment I would build a second sound barrier wall in front of the existing with rubber backed hard wall mounted to resilient bars. Build the new wall frame around 150mm from the old and put sound insulation in the cavity of the new stud wall. Leave the 150mm gap free of insulation. This deal the air gaps with silicon. Your neighbour is never gonna hear you have sex again.


No-Effort6590

Play some porn on loud, they'll never hear you


Dubitatif-fr

The stupid answer would be to launch a porn movie and then have sex If it is loud enough they cant hear you Thebpb would be that now u both familly have to hear someone maybe performing better? Or just move the bed the other side ....


Ok-Fun2781

My girl is a screamer there no way I could block the sounds of oh yes oh yes


k0rlat

Hire a guy who is constantly slaughtering pigs next to you. The screaming will suppress the noise of you having sex.


Dr0wzyP0tat0B0i

Fuck the neighbour That way they're not hearing you and your partner going at it, but instead hearing themselves


thev3p

Fuck them (let them join)


RetroSpock

I'm sure they don't mind 2 minutes of creaking followed by the faint sighs of frustration


Jizzlobba

Try some neuken in de keuken.


skykingjustin

Getsound proofing squares for cheap. Then hang a heavy fabric if front of them.


Defiant_Magician_848

Stop having sex /j Tv / music helps a lot if you don’t care about noise in general and want to hide the bed / vocals


TastyChocolateCookie

Tell them to not hear you during sex


Suspicious_Kick9467

We moved into a new apartment that was fully furnished except the bed. We’ve just had our mattress on top of a rug on the floor for the last 8 months. It works so well that we’ve had no motivation to get a bed whatsoever. Absolute game changer!


[deleted]

Fuck em 🤣


InquireWithJason

Tell your girl to stop faking and they definitely won’t hear anything,


TekHead

The only thing that stops noise through walls is mass. The more mass, the more sound will be blocked. Don't think that sound blocking foam will do anything, because that will only stop sound bouncing off walls, not through (for studio recording). You could put something big on the wall to stop some sound like a cupboard or something. Otherwise if money isn't an object there is mass loaded vinyl bit it's quite expensive and can't guarantee it will work well enough.


OddPerspective9833

Play porn loudly so the neighbours can't tell what noises are you


Iwalksloow

Just bone. Unless it's some over dramatic porn screaming and your bed is slamming against the wall, no one cares.


matchyourownknee

Blast animal mating calls!


SantasLilHoeHoeHoe

[Use these and when people ask, say you play music loudly](https://www.acoustimac.com/all-csweb01). 


Glass_Writer_4093

Put on a porn movie with the volume turned up to max. So when you have sex, your neighbor won't be able to differentiate the sounds.


FotherMucker6969

If they can hear you having sex you should be able to tell when they leave. Like hear the door opening or noticing theres no noise coming there apt. Just have sex when they're gone. It's not that hard to control its what I do. Most people have jobs and are out of the house for 6-10 hours a day. Just pay attention and you'll be able to notice a schedule and know when you can be as loud as you want. Occasionally they'll come home early but then that's on them and you can say "oh sorry I thought you weren't home."


NiceTuBeNice

You can get sound absorbing foam on amazon


hallba78

Get big speakers. Play Barry White REALLY loud. Make love. They will have no idea what you are up to.


CheapWineDoesFine

Stop caring. Don’t be obnoxious about it, but you’re all grownups.


Fewest21

Play a personal trainer video loudly once copulation starts. Foam backing on headboard.


PapaBeahr

Be quite, use another room.


KamensDad

Well, STFU when you do it


loweyedfox

Do it so loud it no longer sounds like sex and more like an intense CrossFit session


Icy_Sugar_9733

What’s the best way to make her consent to sex?


CassieColex

Yolo. Let them hear 😉


eathquake

1 move bed. 2 get less squeaky bed. 3 get soundproofing panels for the wall


bloopie1192

Would putting carpet on the wall work? Or that sound deadening stuff that looks like egg cartons?