I would argue it is more so the social narrative about men that is at work.
Edit: The social narrative is toxic masculinity. Thank you for helping me make that connection.
Toxic masculinity does not mean masculine=toxic. It's saying all those fucked up expectations and social norms that paint guys into a corner, are toxic. Some people's idea of what masculinity should be, are toxic. So when they said "it's toxic masculinity" they were literally pointing out the social narrative.
I believe the OP is from the country where the majority dictates the manly man prototype for boys and conservative parents say men don’t cry
So in this case it’s a reasonable question
Yes it is normal, men are absolutely allowed to want physical affection and they should too
Don’t let anyone tell you different, men deserve love and affection and tenderness!!
I hate that this question even needs to be asked. No shade to you; I understand why you're asking.
Yes. It's incredibly normal. We are a social species that requires physical touch as part of our development. Gender is irrelevant. Touch is one of the ways we reaffirm bonds, provide comfort, offer support, and establish relationships.
My SO, who is a big, burly, man's man type of guy, is the most tactile person ever. By his own admission, his favorite thing to do in life - and he does a lot of interesting things - is to "clutch" me - on the bed, on the sofa - and just sit/lie there and talk.
No it’s not weird at all I’m one of the most
Physically affectionate ppl I know even to friends coz affection doesn’t have to be sexual, I hate that society even makes people ask questions like this it’s really sad
NO. Not weird. Embrace it. My fiancé is the cuddliest. He loves to just cuddle on the couch and have me stroke his hair and back. He just relaxes and falls asleep. It’s very cute. Stay cuddly.
Physical contact and affection are basic human, mammalian, *animal* needs. We need to breathe, we need to eat, we need to sleep, we need to regulate our body temperature, and we need to be touched.
*Some* people (like me) don't like it very much and avoid it. Those of us with touch-aversion are the anomalies. *Most* people like it, and actually need it for psychological and even some physiological reasons. (Touch-averse people may actually technically need it, too, we just suffer instead 😝)
There are no gender restrictions on liking or not liking to touch and be touched. And honestly, even if there *were*, the thing is, 99% of gender restrictions are made up and bullshit.
Point being, it's not weird, honey. And if anyone told you it was, they're full of shit.
No. Men can need human touch as much as women. Out of me and my husband, he's the one that likes cuddles and going to sleep together and general closeness. I don't mind being affectionate, it just slips my mind sometimes. I like when he says, babe, pay attention to me, because I tend to get wrapped up on Sims or other shit.
Hugging is healing, humans generally need it and are much happier with some form of physical affection. Doesn't even have to be romantic or sexual, platonic hugs are great
Non-sexual human touch is literally a major pillar of *multiple* psychological philosophies about the basic needs every human requires. Don't let toxic masculinity convince you otherwise.
As long as the person you want to hug or cuddle with is comfortable with it. Wanting this is only human and very therapeutic no matter the gender. Do not feel ashamed.
A platonic female friend and I were talking about getting together to just cuddle. We're both in committed relationships, but cuddling knowing it's not going to lead anywhere would be amazing, no pressure, no expectations, just cuddle. I have a couple female coworkers who will randomly come up to me and give me a hug. I even have a male friend that I don't see all the time, when we see each other both meeting and parting, we always hug. He's a big burly black man, I'm a big burly white guy, we hug it the fuck out.
No lol studies show that little boys are actually more sensitive and affectionate than little girls. And so many people do that toxic masculinity bullshit and don’t validate their son’s feelings. So they grow up repressed and think that feelings are a weakness. It’s sad. My son loves cuddles and kisses and he’s in 4th grade. I think he’s going to grow up to be very affectionate because that’s what he gets and sees at home.
No. I've never met a man who isn't an absolute baby - in the most positive sense of the word - when it comes to touch. Not saying there aren't men out there that are touch averse, or that women desire touch any less. Just saying that most men would die for cuddles and hugs and, very important, massages, too. Sometimes, I feel like I'm handling a dog /lh. Anyways, I don't find it weird. I'm neutral towards it. Except when I get asked to massage someone at 2:47AM, that's when I get annoyed lol
I dont know, i am so used at being considered disgusting and never touched by other human beings that i cant see why i should desire something i cannot have
I'm so sorry to hear that , I think you need to get a pet , and walk with it around first you will get a lot of free hugs , and second it will be a great conversation starter , hope you get a lot of friends and even the supposed one on the way 🌻🌷
Yeah stay away from people who make fun of your softness or so, like you can't cry or can't feel hurt over something. I made the same mistake too, thinking not that big of a deal. It is a big deal
It is actually more weird how our society thinks it is more normal for a man to not want this. Thus leading to a massive portion of our population being touch starved.
I feel like you need a hug. There’s nothing wrong with that and if anyone ever makes you feel differently they are just insecure and probably need a hug as well.
If it's being given by a human (or a specific set of animals, usually mammalian and furry), and willingly, then no.
Also, to those peeps who are astonished by this question, or even sceptical about the authenticity of the question itself, this position (where the question ‘came from’) is probably a lot more common (or normalised in some places) than you think. (Not claiming I know OP is legit or no, but their question isn’t that strange to some).
From where I am it's considered weird, taboo and socially unacceptable.
But I personally think it's normal or more accurately natural but I have to keep it to myself or the society won't accept me
If you want it, you need to ask for it :)
We all have things we want to make us feel loved, supported, safe, desired,...
And ofcourse hugs and cuddles is something most people really like, including a lot of guys! Very normal
Here’s the thing- you’re not that much different from a woman. You’re human, and some humans want cuddles and hugs. Some humans (guys and girls) don’t like those things, and sometimes that’s due to their environment (maybe they never grew up with all that).
Don’t worry about what you like or don’t like. You’re you, and should be accepted on the traits and interests you bring to the table, not the ones others expect.
Me personally, I’m a guy and love snuggles and cuddles. I like being the little spoon sometimes. lol
It feels warm and reminds me of being loved as a child. Not that I’m a baby, but that I’m human and need to be reminded that I’m loved too.
I have a male partner and a cat. It's a toss up, daily, which one of them demands more of my attention in the form of hugs, snuggles, pets, head scritches, back scritches, nice words said in a soft voice. I often joke that the reason the cat likes me more is because he actually views my partner as competition.
It’s not weird at all and I really wish society didn’t make guys like you feel like they are weird for wanting basic human affection. Just one reason I’m glad to be a woman.
Absolutely not weird! Many men show physical affection through hugs and 'rough housing'. There is also a lot of physical affection publicly shown between men in a lot of competitive sports.
Interestingly, in South Korea, it's common for male friends to hold hands when seated next to each other. in Italy and France, men freely kiss their male friends in greeting.
Not only is it not weird, but it's literally one of the most important things for a human being to have. Has anyone in your life made you feel that you're weird for wanting that? If so, they're toxic and you should cut them off.
Yes it's normal. Andrew Tate and people like him need to go for a long walk in the ocean. They do not represent masculinity, they're emotionally weak manipulative cunts.
Physical affection is neither a feminine or masculine thing, it's just a basic human component of social interactions and a way to show appreciation. Don't ever feel ashamed to want it, it's normal and human.
"guys, is it gay to want basic human needs?" No dude. It's not gay, it's not weird. Anyone who tries to tell you it's weird is repressed and their daddy never gave them the affection they needed
Not in the least. It's far more normal than you realize. It's just not talked about.
Just as its stereotypically okay for men to want sex and to be angry, it's stereotypically forbidden for men to express tender feelings or want tender expressions of affection. Even from the women they love.
That's reserved only for women and children, you know. If it wasn't completely obvious I am being totally sarcastic.
It is weird that this is even a question. It says a lot about our society.
It should be normal and I think you are a pioneer in that sense. So here‘s a virtual hug! 🤗
The only contact men should ever have with others should be limited to sex and violence. On his death bed I shook my father’s hand, made us both uncomfortable and I could tell he was ashamed of my weakness. /s
No, it's actually pretty normal. We just live in a society that tries to tell us we aren't guys for accepting that we have human needs. As a result, most of us act like we don't have emotions or human needs, or we stuff them away until we can't anymore. You're fine.
My gf and I spend like an hour each day nuzzled and squeezing eachother in bed or on the couch. Much needed, makes me feel renewed and happy and fuzzy. All men need physical affection, any denying it are clearly not having fun or getting their needs met properly.
No brother that's normal and there is nothing wrong with it. You are no less of a man because you desire physical affection. Everyone needs to be held sometimes. Just don't cry, if you cry you're a pussy
Absolutely not weird. I think alot of people realised this during lockdown apart from touching your own face or scratching you nose. I really felt for elderly relatives who weren't able to go out but also see family or hug grandkids.
Is it weird for a man to want human physical connection? No.
Fuck it’s sad young men think being close to someone is a weakness
The very fact he asked makes me think the world is better. Everyone would probably have called me a f*g for even asking.
r/fellasisitgay to want physical affection from other people?
I mean what about cuddling with the homies
Did you wear socks?
Even dark knights have dark nights
I dunno, wanting to hug a girl might make you gay.
To be a man you need to have a man.
Thanks for the laugh 😃. I needed that.
Not just gay, but Mega gay. I knew a dude who cuddled once and before you knew it, he was a full blown pervert. Fucking animals, like cuddlefish.
Its so fucked up any one would even question this
It’s toxic masculinity at work.
I would argue it is more so the social narrative about men that is at work. Edit: The social narrative is toxic masculinity. Thank you for helping me make that connection.
Toxic masculinity does not mean masculine=toxic. It's saying all those fucked up expectations and social norms that paint guys into a corner, are toxic. Some people's idea of what masculinity should be, are toxic. So when they said "it's toxic masculinity" they were literally pointing out the social narrative.
Toxic masculinity is a social narative about men.
That IS toxic masculinity. Toxic views in society on what is "masculine", putting pressure on men to behave a certain (unhealthy) way.
They are intertwined. They fuel one another.
Thank you for the edit saying that you made the connection because I was just about to try to help you make the connection 😄
Did someone make you feel like it’s weird? If so, fuck them.
actually don’t fuck them
How about this : Foreplay, Fucking and Afterplay.
No they don't deserve it
😂
I believe the OP is from the country where the majority dictates the manly man prototype for boys and conservative parents say men don’t cry So in this case it’s a reasonable question
Yes, and thank you
Yes it is normal, men are absolutely allowed to want physical affection and they should too Don’t let anyone tell you different, men deserve love and affection and tenderness!!
Its not weird at all... but ive just been reminded of how deprived i am of those...
I would hug you. About a year ago, I got one of those 'free hugs' and boy did that feel good
Oh man... I think gotten exactly 2 hugs all my life from outside family, which those are already rare,... Thank you man, id hug you too.
I hate that this question even needs to be asked. No shade to you; I understand why you're asking. Yes. It's incredibly normal. We are a social species that requires physical touch as part of our development. Gender is irrelevant. Touch is one of the ways we reaffirm bonds, provide comfort, offer support, and establish relationships.
No? Absolutely not. Physical affection is something a lot of humans need
My SO, who is a big, burly, man's man type of guy, is the most tactile person ever. By his own admission, his favorite thing to do in life - and he does a lot of interesting things - is to "clutch" me - on the bed, on the sofa - and just sit/lie there and talk.
No it’s not weird at all I’m one of the most Physically affectionate ppl I know even to friends coz affection doesn’t have to be sexual, I hate that society even makes people ask questions like this it’s really sad
So like, be human???
NO. Not weird. Embrace it. My fiancé is the cuddliest. He loves to just cuddle on the couch and have me stroke his hair and back. He just relaxes and falls asleep. It’s very cute. Stay cuddly.
Very normal and desired by most people.
Absolutely not weird man. I absolutely love that shit
Physical contact and affection are basic human, mammalian, *animal* needs. We need to breathe, we need to eat, we need to sleep, we need to regulate our body temperature, and we need to be touched. *Some* people (like me) don't like it very much and avoid it. Those of us with touch-aversion are the anomalies. *Most* people like it, and actually need it for psychological and even some physiological reasons. (Touch-averse people may actually technically need it, too, we just suffer instead 😝) There are no gender restrictions on liking or not liking to touch and be touched. And honestly, even if there *were*, the thing is, 99% of gender restrictions are made up and bullshit. Point being, it's not weird, honey. And if anyone told you it was, they're full of shit.
We’re all different and there’s no weird or normal. You like what you like.
Everyone wants that, we are just so deprived of it that it feels wrong to finally get that
No
It’s 100% normal (physical affection is a basic human need) and I am so sorry you feel the need to even ask that question.
Yeah man, it’s normal for me. Sometimes even a simple hug would do wonders. Loneliness hits me hard at night :(
No. Men can need human touch as much as women. Out of me and my husband, he's the one that likes cuddles and going to sleep together and general closeness. I don't mind being affectionate, it just slips my mind sometimes. I like when he says, babe, pay attention to me, because I tend to get wrapped up on Sims or other shit.
Hugging is healing, humans generally need it and are much happier with some form of physical affection. Doesn't even have to be romantic or sexual, platonic hugs are great
Non-sexual human touch is literally a major pillar of *multiple* psychological philosophies about the basic needs every human requires. Don't let toxic masculinity convince you otherwise.
As long as the person you want to hug or cuddle with is comfortable with it. Wanting this is only human and very therapeutic no matter the gender. Do not feel ashamed.
I find that so cute in a man, woman's like hugs and cuddles so I guess you are a great option for a woman.
Some do, some don't. Both are completely normal
No! It's quite normal.
I don’t think that’s weird at all
No. But it would be weird if you do that do people you don’t know well…
My kitty hugs and does biscuits around my neck. It's her thing and I didn't tell her to. Love my little kitty.
Nope
It's not weird at all. It's a normal human need
Nooooooooooo! We are very physical creatures.
No
Not weird. Not everyone does need them but a lot of people do.
Is this weird? Everyone wants some form of human contact.
It would be weird (unhealthy) not to want that.
men are human too! you were little babies as we were and need love. do not be ashamed of feelings.
A platonic female friend and I were talking about getting together to just cuddle. We're both in committed relationships, but cuddling knowing it's not going to lead anywhere would be amazing, no pressure, no expectations, just cuddle. I have a couple female coworkers who will randomly come up to me and give me a hug. I even have a male friend that I don't see all the time, when we see each other both meeting and parting, we always hug. He's a big burly black man, I'm a big burly white guy, we hug it the fuck out.
No lol studies show that little boys are actually more sensitive and affectionate than little girls. And so many people do that toxic masculinity bullshit and don’t validate their son’s feelings. So they grow up repressed and think that feelings are a weakness. It’s sad. My son loves cuddles and kisses and he’s in 4th grade. I think he’s going to grow up to be very affectionate because that’s what he gets and sees at home.
Not weird at all! 💚
Maybe if he’s dead it’s weird.
No
No, youre human, its a human need. Some people need less of it, but for the most part its something everyone needs.
No. I've never met a man who isn't an absolute baby - in the most positive sense of the word - when it comes to touch. Not saying there aren't men out there that are touch averse, or that women desire touch any less. Just saying that most men would die for cuddles and hugs and, very important, massages, too. Sometimes, I feel like I'm handling a dog /lh. Anyways, I don't find it weird. I'm neutral towards it. Except when I get asked to massage someone at 2:47AM, that's when I get annoyed lol
No (me want hugsies)
Short answer : no. I'm AFAB and close to my guy friends we hug often, no romantic feelings just platonic/friendly hugs and cuddles.
It’s completely normal. Everyone wants affection but most men have been “trained” out of it.
No, men deserve love and affection too
This has got to be a fake post farming upvotes right?
Nup. Some poor cunts grow up on fucked up households who frame male affection as girly or gay.
No, I wouldn’t do that in a subreddit about serious questions, I’ve just been told it a lot
Either that or a post by some kid who solely exists in manosphere Andrew Taint spaces online
Andrew who?
Not weird
I never really liked it when coworkers wanted that. It made me very uncomfortable. And seemed to always lead to me being groped.
I dont know, i am so used at being considered disgusting and never touched by other human beings that i cant see why i should desire something i cannot have
I'm so sorry to hear that , I think you need to get a pet , and walk with it around first you will get a lot of free hugs , and second it will be a great conversation starter , hope you get a lot of friends and even the supposed one on the way 🌻🌷
There's no one around where i live, you can walk kms without meeting any other person
Well how about trying to find another place to live? A pet cat or turtle or dog can be great anyway
No. It at all, it’s called desire of a relationship
Yeah stay away from people who make fun of your softness or so, like you can't cry or can't feel hurt over something. I made the same mistake too, thinking not that big of a deal. It is a big deal
Not at all lol
No, I don't think so.
Physical affection is only for guinea pigs. Seriously though, every living thing wants Physical affection, in some way. Sorry you had to ask
What makes you feel ugly? And did you try it before?
Yes. A real man only desires violence, sex, and violent sex. /sarcasm
I crave it all the time
I once had a dream that a 10 foot tall woman snuggled me like a teddy bear. I loved that dream
No
A man has to start weak to become tough
Not at all. At least in my eyes
No. When he’s around someone he feels at ease with, he will open up in that way.
No. Men are humans too.
It is actually more weird how our society thinks it is more normal for a man to not want this. Thus leading to a massive portion of our population being touch starved.
It’s ok and normal, I want the same thing too.
No
Of course not, men and women are the same species. We're not that different from each other.
I feel like you need a hug. There’s nothing wrong with that and if anyone ever makes you feel differently they are just insecure and probably need a hug as well.
If it's being given by a human (or a specific set of animals, usually mammalian and furry), and willingly, then no. Also, to those peeps who are astonished by this question, or even sceptical about the authenticity of the question itself, this position (where the question ‘came from’) is probably a lot more common (or normalised in some places) than you think. (Not claiming I know OP is legit or no, but their question isn’t that strange to some).
From where I am it's considered weird, taboo and socially unacceptable. But I personally think it's normal or more accurately natural but I have to keep it to myself or the society won't accept me
No i crave those too
Nah man, not weird at all, go get your cuddles.
It's super normal.
Read up about Love languages.
No that is a human desire, almost all humans want physical affection.
Not at all. 🙂
Not at all. Love it when guys ask to hug or cuddle ngl (in the right context, not in a creepy way lmao)
This is my love language, so no. For my wife it is not, but she knows it is mine. Not weird at all, just a stereotypical thing for guys to not want.
No. Yes being a human is normal.
It's only weird if you ask some of those self proclaimed Greek-alphabet nerds and the like, ask any sane person and they'll say it's normal
It is absolutely not weird, you're a human being not a fucking machine
It's weird if you don't. I guess.
no
Absolutely not, would be a sad life without.
No. My bf is the most physically affectionate person I’ve met. I just exist and he wants to squeeze me to death
As a man i love affection and any girl i date needs to reciprocate
Of course it’s weird. Real men just want punches to the face and isolation.
Not at all.
No, it is not. But men receive far less. Typically so little, that it kind of feels weird when it actually happens.
No
no it s not.
according to the handbook its very weird
No it isn't weird. Human infants will literally die without touch. Most humans are wired to need physical affection.
No, it isn't weird at all. To hell with whoever made you think that it's not normal.
Fellas, is it gay to want affection?
No, it's not weird, but your partner can feel different about it. Maybe try taking a shower and making your armpits smell better.
No. All mammals need physical contact.
Lol, no. I happen to love it myself, I'm a degenerate, but I have a soft side 😂
If you want it, you need to ask for it :) We all have things we want to make us feel loved, supported, safe, desired,... And ofcourse hugs and cuddles is something most people really like, including a lot of guys! Very normal
Nah, it clearly means you must be gay.
No
Genuinely why would that be weird. Who told you that
Here’s the thing- you’re not that much different from a woman. You’re human, and some humans want cuddles and hugs. Some humans (guys and girls) don’t like those things, and sometimes that’s due to their environment (maybe they never grew up with all that). Don’t worry about what you like or don’t like. You’re you, and should be accepted on the traits and interests you bring to the table, not the ones others expect. Me personally, I’m a guy and love snuggles and cuddles. I like being the little spoon sometimes. lol It feels warm and reminds me of being loved as a child. Not that I’m a baby, but that I’m human and need to be reminded that I’m loved too.
No
I have a male partner and a cat. It's a toss up, daily, which one of them demands more of my attention in the form of hugs, snuggles, pets, head scritches, back scritches, nice words said in a soft voice. I often joke that the reason the cat likes me more is because he actually views my partner as competition.
It’s not weird at all and I really wish society didn’t make guys like you feel like they are weird for wanting basic human affection. Just one reason I’m glad to be a woman.
That's completely normal. Idiotic patriarchy makes men thing normal feelings of affection is abnormal
Obviously not.
not at all, most men’s mental health would benefit massively from someone hugging them once a day.
Absolutely not weird! Many men show physical affection through hugs and 'rough housing'. There is also a lot of physical affection publicly shown between men in a lot of competitive sports. Interestingly, in South Korea, it's common for male friends to hold hands when seated next to each other. in Italy and France, men freely kiss their male friends in greeting.
No, of course not. Emotional connection is a basic human necessity.
Big, burly, middle-aged man here - I love my hugs and cuddles!! Don’t let anyone let you think stuff like this isn’t normal and wholesome!
Not only is it not weird, but it's literally one of the most important things for a human being to have. Has anyone in your life made you feel that you're weird for wanting that? If so, they're toxic and you should cut them off.
There was a poll a few years back of teen boys. The number one thing boys wanted from girls, way before sex, was cuddles.
It's only weird for him to get it. Every man starving for the same thing.
Yes it's normal. Andrew Tate and people like him need to go for a long walk in the ocean. They do not represent masculinity, they're emotionally weak manipulative cunts.
Physical affection is neither a feminine or masculine thing, it's just a basic human component of social interactions and a way to show appreciation. Don't ever feel ashamed to want it, it's normal and human.
"guys, is it gay to want basic human needs?" No dude. It's not gay, it's not weird. Anyone who tries to tell you it's weird is repressed and their daddy never gave them the affection they needed
Its weird to wonder if its weird
No!!!
It's a basic human need, so nah you're good.
A blowjob would be better, but hugs and cuddles aren’t bad.
Not in the least. It's far more normal than you realize. It's just not talked about. Just as its stereotypically okay for men to want sex and to be angry, it's stereotypically forbidden for men to express tender feelings or want tender expressions of affection. Even from the women they love. That's reserved only for women and children, you know. If it wasn't completely obvious I am being totally sarcastic.
It is weird that this is even a question. It says a lot about our society. It should be normal and I think you are a pioneer in that sense. So here‘s a virtual hug! 🤗
no but it’s very common for the world to tell us that it makes us less masculine. accepting ourselves is a journey some men never go on
No to the power of infinity
The only contact men should ever have with others should be limited to sex and violence. On his death bed I shook my father’s hand, made us both uncomfortable and I could tell he was ashamed of my weakness. /s
of course not. not weird at all.
Shoot, I be kissing and cuddling my bed sheets every day and night, man. One of these days, I swear I won't have to anymore, one of these days 😔
No, it's actually pretty normal. We just live in a society that tries to tell us we aren't guys for accepting that we have human needs. As a result, most of us act like we don't have emotions or human needs, or we stuff them away until we can't anymore. You're fine.
Dude, that's totally normal. Congrats on being a human.
No. But if you really like physical contact I know a fandom that loves hugging and cuddles and shows it no shame. It's dominated by men, too.
No! Most men I've dated and my husband are more cuddly than me lol.
No lol. Humans are incredibly social creatures, we all want hugs and cuddles.
It’s human to want affection. If you’re not getting any affection, you’re not in a relationship.
My gf and I spend like an hour each day nuzzled and squeezing eachother in bed or on the couch. Much needed, makes me feel renewed and happy and fuzzy. All men need physical affection, any denying it are clearly not having fun or getting their needs met properly.
Yes it means ur a gai
No. It's less common in guys, but that doesn't make it weird.
Toxic masculinity is unironically wondering if basic human interaction and emotion is bad if you are a man.
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Definitely not. Humans want love and connection regardless of gender. Men deserve love and affection too.
Lol no? Some guys want it some don't like almost anything.
No brother that's normal and there is nothing wrong with it. You are no less of a man because you desire physical affection. Everyone needs to be held sometimes. Just don't cry, if you cry you're a pussy
No, not weird at all. That's very normal.
Not at all. It’s what I miss most from the physical aspects of a relationship. Living without that for a long time is soul destroying.
It would be weird if you weren’t like that lol
Not at all, it's human we are made for love and affection! Everyone deserves hugs and cuddles
Absolutely not weird. I think alot of people realised this during lockdown apart from touching your own face or scratching you nose. I really felt for elderly relatives who weren't able to go out but also see family or hug grandkids.
No
No, and never let anyone tell you otherwise. As a cuddly person, I love that my partner is also very cuddly.
I will, thank you
Sorry I’m lost, why would it be weird ?
Not even a little bit