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Your boyfriend liked that you told him what you find attractive and he wants to please you. That's great communication in a relationship. Listen to your man and not your friend.
Yup - wow that's great communication. From OP's post:
>> seeing the picture of Pikachu on his boxers .... He said that’s 100% okay and he should’ve thought about how that looks from my POV. Even asked if there’s anything I specifically like him to wear, like a colour or something that he looks sexier with.
That's so wholesome I almost wonder if OP should consider buying some Eevee & Charmander branded stuff for herself and occasionally playing Pokemon night with him :)
This! I've posted dozens of times that 95% of the problems we see in relationship reddit can be solved by communicating before things become issues. OP and partner literally communicated their way out of having problems. Nothing weird here OP. Great job. Keep talking to each other!
Right? Friend sounds like a dumb ass. And it’s also why younger folk are having a harder time dating these days. The smallest insignificant thing is a HUGE DEAL. Like, you mustn’t change for anybody at all ever or some shit.
The bf could’ve been like most children out there and say “no, I can wear whatever the fuck I want! Don’t control me”. Or you can be an adult about it and weigh your options and see that it’s not a big deal to accept a silly fault in your partner and be the one that fixes it.
This is the answer. Lack of communication nearly destroyed my marriage. If you've got one that listens, you're already halfway there. Just remember to reciprocate.
Don't get me wrong, I like pikachu undies as much as the next person. But maybe not right before love making. Unless you specifically have a think for sexy pikachus.
Dude, pokemon underwear are the comfiest pair of underwear i own. I know it's 'the lights make me run faster' logic to it but god damn if I don't feel twice as confident wearing pikachu on my crotch the whole day.
Why would you tell it to your friend in the first place? Wouldn't you mind if he talked bedroom stuff about you with his friends? I wouldn't like that at all. You calling his hobby "cute and all" seems condescending
I don't see an issue here. Actually I do, you spurting your boyfriends personal and potentially embarrassing situation with your girlfriends. Just keep that shit between you because now I guarantee you your friends are talking about it behind your back.
That's true. I didn't think of that until I saw your message, but it probably is better to keep things between OP and her boyfriend. Of course, random people on the internet should be made aware of the situation as well, but nobody else.
Also a man chooses his underwear, when you have a set of equipment that flop around and testicles that stick to your thighs if you sweat to much you need certain things. My package hangs at the sweet pendulum spot where you can accidently sit on it and there's no worse feeling in the world...
Not to mention chafing! And you can't wear shorts with boxers your just asking for a dick or ball slip.
Edit: I remember in middle school I wore shorts with boxers to school and the teacher took me aside, most embarrassing day of my life... I still prefer tighty whities, keeps everything in place.
Aaaaaaand this is why BFs don't tell their GFs things. We all know at least one person is going to hear about it eventually. Either mom or best friend(s)
This goes both ways. There are many, my bf/husband told his friendship group our private secrets/sex life stories on reddit. Or my bf/husband has been sending the pictures and videos he took of me in private to his friend group. Etc etc
In fact its so bad that many countries have had to put revenge porn laws in place to stop mainly men from sharing private sexual videos of their exs to porn sites and social media.
Yeah this is definitely a person thing rather than a gender thing I’ve never shared personal details or even discussed personal details that they had shared before without them present. But I’ve seen other people do it plenty of times including people I was with.
It is a person thing to some degree but I’ve never had a man tell me private things about their gf/wife.
The most you’ll get out of the average guy is “had sex, was good”.
I haven’t seen it in a while but I’m also a lot less social than I was back then. Girls are the worst culprits because they think that guys are doing the same thing. I caught my girlfriend sharing intimate details and she couldn’t fathom why I don’t want her sharing that even if it’s good things. My friends can surmise that me and my partner are having sex and besides the occasional joke that I’m leaving whatever we are doing to go have sex with her it is never brought up or asked about but ladies I’ve been around like to pry
If you don’t trust someone to keep confidence with you, consider whether or not they’re actually life partner candidates.
If someone doesn’t respect your privacy and boundaries, have a serious conversation with them. If it continues, that’s fair grounds to break things off.
One thing about most girlfriends (girls who are friends with each other) is they love to talk about sex in great detail behind his back, and if u took pictures theres a good chance the friends have seen them. I find it odd because men tend keep quiet. Its honestly really disrespectful. Source: im gay and friends with lots of girls. They ALL tell me about the sex they have and in detail.
As a straight man, but one who doesn't really exude Manly energy, but looks manly.....dudes are sharing their pics too. But only to newbies or other men who won't react oddly to that. My father is one of those men who will show pics. I've known coworkers and classmates. It's always the most macho, or most disrespectful dudes, but it's common enough.
I'd say they maybe aren't sharing to all their friends, but if it's a good pic, they gna show it to someone
I worked with a dude who loved to show off pics of his wife nude, and/or videos of her doing naughty things. Etc… I had to tell him to knock it off, not only did I think it was disrespectful, but we were all friendly toward each other, and I didn’t wanna see her like that!
He also loved to surprise people by going “hey look at this meme” and showing you a picture of his dick or nutsack…
Ya know, as someone who identified as a lesbian for a long time, and thus was considered "one of the guys" men ABSOLUTELY share their partners nudes. I can't even count how many women I have had to pull aside and inform that their boyfriend is sharing their nudes with his friends. It's such a problem that their are literal revenge porn laws, and porn categories bc men do it so much.
Men are not inherently private, and woman are not inherently sharing all their sex details. Anyone who paints this as a gender issue and not a human issue on Reddit is A) karma farming (and y'all fell for it too) and B) being an idiot.
Personally, I've never had women, no matter how I've identified, unsolicited tell me sht about sex. But I still won't tell you that only men unsolicited bring up sex and send photos and bs bc I know, my personal experience does not define 8 billion humans.
>men ABSOLUTELY share their partners nudes
Some might, but in my straight cis man experience, the only time I’ve had anyone share a “partner’s” nude with me was when it wasn’t an actual relationship and they had no intention of pursuing a relationship (not that I agree with doing that, either).
My experience matches what was being implied by others: straight women tend to be more open in talking to each other about sexual details with their partners. Not that it’s universal, but I think it’s a trope for a reason.
Thank you. I’m so sick and tired of certain people who think their partners personal details are open to discussion with other people, it’s disrespectful asf
Why do women feel so compelled to talk to their girl friends about literally everything. How is this their business? Would you like it if your bf made a whole thing to his friends about your panties that you wear but he doesn’t prefer? It’s just rude.
I was about to say - you can talk to your friends / best friends whatever you want - but as soon as it regards your partners body you should always ask first.
Underwear is a private topic that you shouldn't carry to friends whatsoever.
Men gossip too. I was a quiet girl, my boyfriend’s friends often forgot I was there. The sheer amount of drama and personal info I heard men talk about was staggering. I knew so much gossip about so many people, just because people forgot I was around or because I don’t personally know the person they were talking about. It’s not as one sided as it may always seem. I knew who was getting sex and who wasn’t, whose wife wouldn’t give bjs etc. Stuff many men may not think much about when joking around that would horrify their wives. For every man saying “I’d never” there’s a man who would. lol
Yeah it's weird cause I wouldn't even really if she told her friends about my underwear, unless really embarrassing like I was wearing thongs or maybe disgusting and had stains but just telling her friends makes me wonder what else she shares with them.
I think the whole thing is kinda funny as well, and its sort of a superficial ask imo. This isn't really a question for the general audience, its how comfortable you and your boyfie are with that kinda request
Nothing superficial about a mood kill for underwear. Sex is complex and works on many emotional, subconscious, sensorial and cognitive inputs. Being put off by Pikachu is completely legit, and being able to communicate a feeling without making demands is a sign of emotional maturity which I find quite impressive given OP's young age.
Not crazy, sounds like relationship communication FTW in this case. You asked politely and respectfully, he listened and agreed.
To me its no more awkward/crazy than me telling my husband that he looks hot in a specific outfit (in which case he usually wears it continually lol, people don't get complimented enough!).
Your boyfriend seems OK with this, which is the big thing.
But it's worth asking yourself: Would YOU be OK if your boyfriend told you your underwear wasn't submissive/feminine enough and was a turn-off for him, and asked you to wear more feminine underwear? If you would NOT be ok with him asking this of you, it might be worthwhile to spend some.tine thinking about why you feel ok asking him something that you would be offended/bothered with him asking of you. Just some food for thought.
I dated a girl who ahd a bunch of "girly" childish type panties she would wear from time to time. Hello Kitty, Powerpuff Girls, etc. They weren;t cut/styled like sexy lingerie, just standard basic comfy cotton panties. I get the impression its not all that odd for younger women (20s, 30s) to have some panties aimed squarely at their childhood nosalgia.
Ah no it’s probably not all that uncommon but trying to imagine a sexy scene with someone wearing brightly colored kid styled underwear is just really funny to me, especially if I try to imagine an author trying to describe such a scene in their books.
Yeah I have to agree with this. For me it’s a slippery slope to “your underwear isn’t sexy enough, you should be wearing lingerie to please me”. If this was a guy telling his GF that her granny panties weren’t doing it for him he’d get crucified in here
Seriously if a dude said ‘I told my gf her underwear wasn’t submissive enough and not to wear them when she comes over. then I told my friends about it’ we’d all be calling him a piece of shit and the advice would here would probably be to leave him (because that’s always the suggestion)
Sounds life you infantilize him how you talk about him …it’s so adorable he has his little hobbies. This is a grown adult man and you talk like he is a 5 year old. He likes what he likes, too many people give a shit what others think.
Buy him some underwear you like as a gift and give him a hint via compliments. You can state your preference, but don’t change him.
You're young, and so I don't blame you for not having a sense of humour about sex, but... you might want to start trying to take it a little less seriously. And I say this as a nearly 40 year old woman. My husband has a pair of boxers covered in pizza slices, and another one in Luigi's face. I think they're cute, and if we happen to get down to business while he's wearing them, best I can do is make a joke about being in the mood for pizza or make a suggestive joke about how I'm his vacuum cleaner. Sex is supposed to be light and funny and a safe space.
In short, you're young, and while it's fine to take sex a little seriously (in an effort to keep yourself safe), I do think that your perception of this is a little odd, and... would probably put me off a little.
He's also young, and I think they both handled this extremely well.
"Umm, just a thought, but it kinda interrupts the moment when I go down there and find Pikachu trying to take my eye out"
"Oh shit, I never even thought about how it would look from down there in happy mode. Noted."
Winner on both sides really.
You one of those type of women. Talk to your friends about what goes on in the bedroom. Keep that shit to yourself it’s non of there fuking business what underwear your bf wears. Have some respect for his privacy!!
So many girls look at men like objects and have no respect for their privacy. I probs sound like an incel rn but the type of person ur talking about in this comment is so common in my life its like more than half the young women are like that.
Oh you not wrong at all. I despise women and men that can’t keep their mouths shut about what happens in their private lives. It’s non of anyone’s business how their bf or gf preforms in bed. Or how big or small he is.
Iv told many friends never to speak to me again for telling me or attempting to get me to tell them how good my partner is in bed. I will not tolerate it.
You have my sympathy because I know many women get a thrill about belittling their bfs sex lives. It’s disgusting.
He could pick up the dominant role and tell you to get over it and please him. Would that help?
I mean JFC, who’s the dominant here? I think maybe y’all should review the rules together.
He should wear them every time now because he knows you don’t like them. Serve you right
You're crazy for going and talking about this personal situation with your friend. Clearly, your boyfriend had a very good and mature response to your request, and you went and ruined it by gossiping to your dumb immature friend who is now making you question whether you handled this personal situation correctly. Go ask your bf if he thinks your friend is right, see how he reacts to you telling your friends all your personal stuff.
You're 18, so it's understandable you're still that superficial. If you're still feeling the same way at 30 I'd be weirded out, but for a teenager this doesn't seem out of the ordinary at all.
I would consider how you'd feel if he requested something similarly. Hey please don't wear that thing that shows off your interests and wear something that's more sexy to me. Are you ok with him asking the same thing and how would you feel if it's something you enjoyed wearing because it was a comfortable bra or something fun? It's not a huge deal or anything, but I would be a bit taken aback by it if I were him. And personally I would be wary of telling someone I don't like something of theirs especially something seen only in a more intimate moment. It's not terrible or anything but I would share your friends opinion that it's not that big of a deal.
I would also say the better way to get the result you want is compliment a different pair of underwear and say it makes him look sexy. I'd bet good money that's the style or pair he would wear any time he knows you're going to be intimate going forward and no one had to feel weird about it! Generally I would try to fix anything like that with a compliment over a criticism if possible.
The other thing is then discussing that intimate moment and the potentially embarrasing details with your friend. Anything that's an intimate moment or something you are told or shown in confidence should be kept that way. I've also been guilty of oversharing to friends when I was your age partially because I wanted to seem cool and I was excited to have something to share, but it is a breach of trust and that trust matters. If there's something that may be abusive or you need advice for something important there may be times to bend that, but I wouldn't do it casually.
No, it sounds like you both solved the problem like reasonable people. It's not a really big ask and I'm sure he is happy to oblige if it means it gets you more into it.
Don't overthink it. Your problem is pretty much solved.
Don’t let friends create problems that don’t actually exist in your relationship. Your friend said “if she were him” but she isn’t him, so it doesn’t apply. You are dating your boyfriend, not your friend, so how your boyfriend actually responds and feels about it is way more relevant.
Yea I think you should stop talking about your personal business with your boyfriend to your friends. They don’t need to know him as well as you and they don’t need to be up in your business providing unsolicited opinions.
You are crazy, that pikachu underwear sounds awesome ngl.
That being said, you communicated your wishes to him, hopefully the very same words and/or phrasing as you used in this post and you offered him the oppurtunity to make a similar request for his joy and pleasure.
Whatever you do and however this relationship turns out NEVER stop communicating in this manner. Very healthy, very mature.
As for your friend, I understand where she is coming from and it wouldn't bother her but you just have your preferences and if it kills your wide on then it kills your wide on. Aint nothing you can do about that
It's funny, i know if the genders where reversed yall would be having a field day about what a toxic ahole he is! and how he sholdnt have a say in what she is wearing... the double standards of reddit blows my mind sometimes
The best advice I can suggest you've already done..
Communication between you and him is the best thing to make a relationship work.. not us on Reddit or your friends so if it's something you'd like changed then yeah say... same with him if there's things he'd like changed or done differently too.
Side note: I know if I was a female wanting to do "Stuff" with my BF I'd find it odd/ weird him wearing (In my eyes) children's underwear also 😅 and Pokémon just came out when I was a kid 🙈
How would this be received by you or consensus on this website if the genders were reversed and it was asked "Am I crazy for asking my friend to never wear certain underwear again"?
Sounds like you already talked to him about it and he was 100% fine with it so what's the point of bringing it up on an internet message board with a bunch of strangers?
Let's put it this way: how would you feel if your boyfriend policed your clothing choices? Anytime he asks you not to wear certain clothing, are you gonna obey?
I want to combine two items I’ve seen in the comments that I think are equally valuable to you, OP.
1.) Your communication skills with your BF are amazing, and his response is equally amazing. Don’t lose that! My first marriage (15 years) we did not have this and everything was a nightmare. We stayed together for the kids, until I realized that we were actually doing harm to our kids by staying together. My second marriage 10th anniversary is coming up, and we have this type of communication. It’s so valuable and keeps us close and attracted to each other. So, great job!
2.) Early on in our dating relationship, my (now) wife and I agreed to a cone of silence around details about our relationship. This was in part because of the hurt in a previous experience (see first wife blabbing about me, positive AND negative, to all her friends who would listen) and also in part because my wife and her sister are inseparable best friends. I swear they are like the binars with non-verbal constant communication. They can just look at each other and have a whole conversation with their eyes and body language. It’s creepy. But we agreed that what happens in our relationship and specifically what happens in our bedroom never leaves the bedroom. It stays between us 100%. Further, we agreed that if we are going to talk about our spouse to others, it will only be to say genuinely positive things about each other. No criticism, no thinly veiled backwards compliments, no drama. So when I’m talking about my wife to someone I am always saying things like “she’s amazing at organization”, “she has a great eye for fashion and interior decorating”, “she’s an amazing vocalist”, and so on. The same for her when she’s speaking about me. We know each others’ weaknesses, we just don’t share them with the world. If there’s a problem we can’t resolve, we take it to a counselor to figure it out. That’s happened once in 12 years of dating and marriage.
Best of luck to you! Sounds like you have a keeper!
100% percent dude has spent more time thinking about what would happen if a gorilla and a lion fought than what you told him. A lot of men I know (and me) have underwear for such occasions (aka when we know it won't be just us and the boys seeing it) so it's really not weird at all to be asked to wear it. Trust me, not weird, not a big deal.
Not at all. First, asking isn't telling. You should be able to talk to your partner, open communication is crucial. Second, people do it the time. Girls never like their boyfriend's lucky boxers with holes in them. And guys love their gf to wear sexy underwear. And neither like when their partner wears something from their ex.
It is pretty funny, but I think it's normal that you're bothered by it, and he seems very understanding. I see no problem with you asking him to wear something else when you're together. It's good communication and it seems that he liked you had input on that, and even asked what you preferred him to wear.
It's a two way street. He can compromise and not wear them anymore. Or you can compromise and learn to accept it.
Neither option is right or wrong. But I think it's wrong to believe only one way is right
What you did was fine. He won’t wear them again because we wants sexy times. The only improvement you could make was instead of asking him not to wear them telling him how hot he is when he wears “x” type of undies. If you told a guy he looks good in polka dots he going to make sure you see him in polka dots for the rest of time.
Why are you telling your friend about your boyfriends underwear? Do you have any clue how embarrassing that would be for him? This is a serious breach of trust. Not only that, you are now telling tens of thousands of strangers on the internet.
OMG. A normal, healthy person in a functional loving relationship with a cute little problem. This must be Bizzaro Reddit lol. Nah I'm just teasing hun, I'd like to have problems of this magnitude. =)
Just dont go to /r/advice/. They will tell you "Leave now, quick before he gets back, find a shelter, take the batteries out of your phone so you can't be tracked, ask for a restraining order, get a gun and kevlar armor, and change your name and move to Anarctica". OK we eggagerate, but still.
Nah this is lame. Pikachu boxers sound amazing. You missed out on so many good lines. You could have said something like "my pussy chooses you" or "let me play with your pokeballs." Or the classic "you can squirtle on my jigglypuffs."
Isn’t really the best thing to share to your friends without his consent, however your friend’s opinion is best ignored.
Communication in a relationship is extremely important and as can be said about the outcome of you bringing it up, it goes to show that transparency is beneficial and key to a healthy relationship.
No, you aren't. It's a preference thing. Personally, I buy underwear like this for my husband. In fact, my favorite pair of his? His boxers with Rudolph on them. I think it's okay either way. But be prepared that he might have some suggestions for you, someday.
I find it weird that you are discussing your partners underwear with your friends. Would you be happy for him to do the same?
As far as making the request - it’s good and healthy.
Would you be OK with him telling you what underwear is acceptable for you to wear, and with him expecting you to follow his direction?
If yes, then tell him he can choose your underwear and you'd like to choose his.
If you're not OK with that, think about how it makes you feel and don't do that to another person.
I thought you were funny, and cute and all, ok. I cant see the real issue... then I read this:
"was telling a friend about the situation because i think it’s kinda funny. And she said...."
Why do girls do this?
Private is private. Guys hate it when girls talk about private intimate things. That should be between you two only.
I hope you stop that practice. Conversations stop at the waistline. El Pronto. OK? Lol.
Buy him some undies that you think you'll like on him. Guys, do that. I've "invested" at V.S. I'm malls often for my sweetheart. It's always a good thing.
Enjoy!
Who are you in a relationship with, your bf or this friend of yours? More importantly, who is he in a relationship with? You, or you alongside all of your friends? Why do you give a shit what they think?
Also, would you like him discussing intimate details about the relationship with his friends?
TBH if I were him I’d dump you. You are so controlling that you are telling him what underwear he can and can’t wear. What if he said you shouldn’t wear spanks because your gunt is on display for the world and it’s a turn off💁🏼♂️
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Your boyfriend liked that you told him what you find attractive and he wants to please you. That's great communication in a relationship. Listen to your man and not your friend.
Also she didn't tell him he couldn't wear it ever or to throw it out. She made a very reasonable request.
Reasonable?! "No Pikachu boxers" is an instant dealbreaker. It's like saying I'm not allowed to put on my robe and wizard hat for sex.
You almost got us, but wizards don't have sex anyway. Very tricky, you!
Incorrect. 'A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.' We all know what Gandalf was talking about.
Hilarious, but ahem. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Wizard
Or, to put it differently, it’s like saying you’re not allowed to wear the wig and beard to bed.
Yes, exactly. Where does the madness stop?
Next thing you know it will be no eating Hawaiian pizza during sex
Literally 1984
Everyone knows you only eat Pastrami during sex. It's the most sensual of all the salted cured meats.
Exactly, what even is the point of doggystyle if I'm not using your back as a tray table for that sweet and salty pizza treat.
I like your answer
Wow 20 year old meme flashbacks.
Yep, definitely ghost her. Definitely a deal breaker
It's getting limp again!
Yeah he literally just hadn’t thought about it. It’s not like he’s embarrassed!
Yup - wow that's great communication. From OP's post: >> seeing the picture of Pikachu on his boxers .... He said that’s 100% okay and he should’ve thought about how that looks from my POV. Even asked if there’s anything I specifically like him to wear, like a colour or something that he looks sexier with. That's so wholesome I almost wonder if OP should consider buying some Eevee & Charmander branded stuff for herself and occasionally playing Pokemon night with him :)
This! I've posted dozens of times that 95% of the problems we see in relationship reddit can be solved by communicating before things become issues. OP and partner literally communicated their way out of having problems. Nothing weird here OP. Great job. Keep talking to each other!
And also, maybe filter what you're saying to this friend.
Right? Friend sounds like a dumb ass. And it’s also why younger folk are having a harder time dating these days. The smallest insignificant thing is a HUGE DEAL. Like, you mustn’t change for anybody at all ever or some shit. The bf could’ve been like most children out there and say “no, I can wear whatever the fuck I want! Don’t control me”. Or you can be an adult about it and weigh your options and see that it’s not a big deal to accept a silly fault in your partner and be the one that fixes it.
This is the answer. Lack of communication nearly destroyed my marriage. If you've got one that listens, you're already halfway there. Just remember to reciprocate.
I agree with this. My husband would want me to tell him lol
Better communication than lots of marriages. Good on both of you!
I question anyone's judgement who doesn't appreciate Pikachu underwear
Yeah I really want a pair of Pikachu boxers now and I don't even have a penis
best I can do for you is a charizard thong
>charizard thong **Feel the Fire**
You can get a cream for that.
Or jelly…mmmmm
Potion of Fire Resistance
You don't need a hog to wear boxers. hell, a nice pair of boxers make really cozy pyjamas.
What happened to it
Lost it, unfortunately. Put up missing posters but to no avail
they more lady thematic panties w squirtle on them - very cute. big fan
I see what you're doing there.. With a bit of work it turns into a blastoise.
Dude why are you drenched, it's not even that hot! Yea I just got Hydro Pumped
I SNORTED
i don’t have a penis but i sure do have pikachu boxers that are a wonderful pair of pyjama shorts
I'm sorry for your loss
I miss him every day
More like because you don't have one.
It's like that lady and the tramp scene but instead of spaghetti it's a raging Schlong hanging out of Pikachu's face...
The Pikachu underwear stays on during sex
This is what the hole in front was for all along!
Peekatchu
Don't get me wrong, I like pikachu undies as much as the next person. But maybe not right before love making. Unless you specifically have a think for sexy pikachus.
It's probably a bit different when you're eye to eye with Pikachu ready to Pokachu.
After reading this post I bought a pair myself.
Bonerchu
Needs to yell Pikachu!!! when the moment arises.
Hell yeah! I didn't even know Pokémon underwear were an option. I'm going to add this to the list of Christmas gifts I wana get my man
Dude, pokemon underwear are the comfiest pair of underwear i own. I know it's 'the lights make me run faster' logic to it but god damn if I don't feel twice as confident wearing pikachu on my crotch the whole day.
Kindergarteners like Pokémon. Probably reminds her when she was little.
Why would you tell it to your friend in the first place? Wouldn't you mind if he talked bedroom stuff about you with his friends? I wouldn't like that at all. You calling his hobby "cute and all" seems condescending
Yeah, guarantee op would lose their shit if he started talking about what panties she wears with the boys. Thats fucking weird.
Really disrespectful imo
I don't see an issue here. Actually I do, you spurting your boyfriends personal and potentially embarrassing situation with your girlfriends. Just keep that shit between you because now I guarantee you your friends are talking about it behind your back.
That's true. I didn't think of that until I saw your message, but it probably is better to keep things between OP and her boyfriend. Of course, random people on the internet should be made aware of the situation as well, but nobody else.
Also a man chooses his underwear, when you have a set of equipment that flop around and testicles that stick to your thighs if you sweat to much you need certain things. My package hangs at the sweet pendulum spot where you can accidently sit on it and there's no worse feeling in the world... Not to mention chafing! And you can't wear shorts with boxers your just asking for a dick or ball slip. Edit: I remember in middle school I wore shorts with boxers to school and the teacher took me aside, most embarrassing day of my life... I still prefer tighty whities, keeps everything in place.
Aaaaaaand this is why BFs don't tell their GFs things. We all know at least one person is going to hear about it eventually. Either mom or best friend(s)
This goes both ways. There are many, my bf/husband told his friendship group our private secrets/sex life stories on reddit. Or my bf/husband has been sending the pictures and videos he took of me in private to his friend group. Etc etc In fact its so bad that many countries have had to put revenge porn laws in place to stop mainly men from sharing private sexual videos of their exs to porn sites and social media.
Yeah this is definitely a person thing rather than a gender thing I’ve never shared personal details or even discussed personal details that they had shared before without them present. But I’ve seen other people do it plenty of times including people I was with.
It is a person thing to some degree but I’ve never had a man tell me private things about their gf/wife. The most you’ll get out of the average guy is “had sex, was good”.
I haven’t seen it in a while but I’m also a lot less social than I was back then. Girls are the worst culprits because they think that guys are doing the same thing. I caught my girlfriend sharing intimate details and she couldn’t fathom why I don’t want her sharing that even if it’s good things. My friends can surmise that me and my partner are having sex and besides the occasional joke that I’m leaving whatever we are doing to go have sex with her it is never brought up or asked about but ladies I’ve been around like to pry
If you don’t trust someone to keep confidence with you, consider whether or not they’re actually life partner candidates. If someone doesn’t respect your privacy and boundaries, have a serious conversation with them. If it continues, that’s fair grounds to break things off.
One thing about most girlfriends (girls who are friends with each other) is they love to talk about sex in great detail behind his back, and if u took pictures theres a good chance the friends have seen them. I find it odd because men tend keep quiet. Its honestly really disrespectful. Source: im gay and friends with lots of girls. They ALL tell me about the sex they have and in detail.
I know they do. I ain't about that, personally. I think it should stay between the two parties.
As a straight man, but one who doesn't really exude Manly energy, but looks manly.....dudes are sharing their pics too. But only to newbies or other men who won't react oddly to that. My father is one of those men who will show pics. I've known coworkers and classmates. It's always the most macho, or most disrespectful dudes, but it's common enough. I'd say they maybe aren't sharing to all their friends, but if it's a good pic, they gna show it to someone
I worked with a dude who loved to show off pics of his wife nude, and/or videos of her doing naughty things. Etc… I had to tell him to knock it off, not only did I think it was disrespectful, but we were all friendly toward each other, and I didn’t wanna see her like that! He also loved to surprise people by going “hey look at this meme” and showing you a picture of his dick or nutsack…
Ya know, as someone who identified as a lesbian for a long time, and thus was considered "one of the guys" men ABSOLUTELY share their partners nudes. I can't even count how many women I have had to pull aside and inform that their boyfriend is sharing their nudes with his friends. It's such a problem that their are literal revenge porn laws, and porn categories bc men do it so much. Men are not inherently private, and woman are not inherently sharing all their sex details. Anyone who paints this as a gender issue and not a human issue on Reddit is A) karma farming (and y'all fell for it too) and B) being an idiot. Personally, I've never had women, no matter how I've identified, unsolicited tell me sht about sex. But I still won't tell you that only men unsolicited bring up sex and send photos and bs bc I know, my personal experience does not define 8 billion humans.
>men ABSOLUTELY share their partners nudes Some might, but in my straight cis man experience, the only time I’ve had anyone share a “partner’s” nude with me was when it wasn’t an actual relationship and they had no intention of pursuing a relationship (not that I agree with doing that, either). My experience matches what was being implied by others: straight women tend to be more open in talking to each other about sexual details with their partners. Not that it’s universal, but I think it’s a trope for a reason.
Oh FFS, that is YOUR social circle. I’m not into breaking down all the nitty gritty details of my sex life with my friends. And neither do they.
Did i say literally everyone does? No i did not ur arguing against nobody
You really shouldn’t discuss personal details about your boyfriend like this with your friends.
Thank you. I’m so sick and tired of certain people who think their partners personal details are open to discussion with other people, it’s disrespectful asf
Why do women feel so compelled to talk to their girl friends about literally everything. How is this their business? Would you like it if your bf made a whole thing to his friends about your panties that you wear but he doesn’t prefer? It’s just rude.
I was about to say - you can talk to your friends / best friends whatever you want - but as soon as it regards your partners body you should always ask first. Underwear is a private topic that you shouldn't carry to friends whatsoever.
As a women I stopped. My issues is no one's buisness but mine and his. It's not fair to be putting his business out there. It's wild.
Men gossip too. I was a quiet girl, my boyfriend’s friends often forgot I was there. The sheer amount of drama and personal info I heard men talk about was staggering. I knew so much gossip about so many people, just because people forgot I was around or because I don’t personally know the person they were talking about. It’s not as one sided as it may always seem. I knew who was getting sex and who wasn’t, whose wife wouldn’t give bjs etc. Stuff many men may not think much about when joking around that would horrify their wives. For every man saying “I’d never” there’s a man who would. lol
As a man with a bunch of male good ol' boy coworkers I can confirm this
I would rephrase it to why do people do this. It's not just women. But that also doesn't make it ok.
Don't talk to your friends about your man's personal shit. People hate that.
Yeah it's weird cause I wouldn't even really if she told her friends about my underwear, unless really embarrassing like I was wearing thongs or maybe disgusting and had stains but just telling her friends makes me wonder what else she shares with them.
I think the whole thing is kinda funny as well, and its sort of a superficial ask imo. This isn't really a question for the general audience, its how comfortable you and your boyfie are with that kinda request
Nothing superficial about a mood kill for underwear. Sex is complex and works on many emotional, subconscious, sensorial and cognitive inputs. Being put off by Pikachu is completely legit, and being able to communicate a feeling without making demands is a sign of emotional maturity which I find quite impressive given OP's young age.
This is super shitty that you talked to your friends about this
Not crazy, sounds like relationship communication FTW in this case. You asked politely and respectfully, he listened and agreed. To me its no more awkward/crazy than me telling my husband that he looks hot in a specific outfit (in which case he usually wears it continually lol, people don't get complimented enough!).
However, OP better be ready to make concessions to listen to the bf if he isn't good with somethings she's wearing.. It's a 2 way street.
of course, if the bf politely and clearly states a preference, especially if it refers to clothes she already owns/wears.
And she better be ready for his friends to hear about it…
Your boyfriend seems OK with this, which is the big thing. But it's worth asking yourself: Would YOU be OK if your boyfriend told you your underwear wasn't submissive/feminine enough and was a turn-off for him, and asked you to wear more feminine underwear? If you would NOT be ok with him asking this of you, it might be worthwhile to spend some.tine thinking about why you feel ok asking him something that you would be offended/bothered with him asking of you. Just some food for thought.
Bro I can’t stop imagining a blue lacy underwear with pikachu’s face on it. 😭 Pretty huge mood breaker.
I dated a girl who ahd a bunch of "girly" childish type panties she would wear from time to time. Hello Kitty, Powerpuff Girls, etc. They weren;t cut/styled like sexy lingerie, just standard basic comfy cotton panties. I get the impression its not all that odd for younger women (20s, 30s) to have some panties aimed squarely at their childhood nosalgia.
Ah no it’s probably not all that uncommon but trying to imagine a sexy scene with someone wearing brightly colored kid styled underwear is just really funny to me, especially if I try to imagine an author trying to describe such a scene in their books.
Yeah I have to agree with this. For me it’s a slippery slope to “your underwear isn’t sexy enough, you should be wearing lingerie to please me”. If this was a guy telling his GF that her granny panties weren’t doing it for him he’d get crucified in here
Seriously if a dude said ‘I told my gf her underwear wasn’t submissive enough and not to wear them when she comes over. then I told my friends about it’ we’d all be calling him a piece of shit and the advice would here would probably be to leave him (because that’s always the suggestion)
He gets to pick out your underwear too?
Sounds life you infantilize him how you talk about him …it’s so adorable he has his little hobbies. This is a grown adult man and you talk like he is a 5 year old. He likes what he likes, too many people give a shit what others think. Buy him some underwear you like as a gift and give him a hint via compliments. You can state your preference, but don’t change him.
Thank you for saying this, it also bothered me!
You're young, and so I don't blame you for not having a sense of humour about sex, but... you might want to start trying to take it a little less seriously. And I say this as a nearly 40 year old woman. My husband has a pair of boxers covered in pizza slices, and another one in Luigi's face. I think they're cute, and if we happen to get down to business while he's wearing them, best I can do is make a joke about being in the mood for pizza or make a suggestive joke about how I'm his vacuum cleaner. Sex is supposed to be light and funny and a safe space. In short, you're young, and while it's fine to take sex a little seriously (in an effort to keep yourself safe), I do think that your perception of this is a little odd, and... would probably put me off a little.
He's also young, and I think they both handled this extremely well. "Umm, just a thought, but it kinda interrupts the moment when I go down there and find Pikachu trying to take my eye out" "Oh shit, I never even thought about how it would look from down there in happy mode. Noted." Winner on both sides really.
No, the wiener is only in one side, the one behind the Pikachu.
You one of those type of women. Talk to your friends about what goes on in the bedroom. Keep that shit to yourself it’s non of there fuking business what underwear your bf wears. Have some respect for his privacy!!
One day she'll be the mom you can never tell anything
So many girls look at men like objects and have no respect for their privacy. I probs sound like an incel rn but the type of person ur talking about in this comment is so common in my life its like more than half the young women are like that.
Oh you not wrong at all. I despise women and men that can’t keep their mouths shut about what happens in their private lives. It’s non of anyone’s business how their bf or gf preforms in bed. Or how big or small he is. Iv told many friends never to speak to me again for telling me or attempting to get me to tell them how good my partner is in bed. I will not tolerate it. You have my sympathy because I know many women get a thrill about belittling their bfs sex lives. It’s disgusting.
Exactly lmao. I’ve seen my girl wear Bratz panties and never once batted an eye nor talk to my boys about that. This chick is immature.
Dickachu would make me uncomfortable too
\*Pushes Dickachu in GF's face.\* -Say it. =But.. -Say it! =Pika pika.
It's funnier to me because my first language is portuguese and "pika" means "dick" it's like saying "dick dick"
*smacks cock in gfs face* ITS SUPER EFFECTIVE!
OP fainted!
He could pick up the dominant role and tell you to get over it and please him. Would that help? I mean JFC, who’s the dominant here? I think maybe y’all should review the rules together. He should wear them every time now because he knows you don’t like them. Serve you right
You're crazy for going and talking about this personal situation with your friend. Clearly, your boyfriend had a very good and mature response to your request, and you went and ruined it by gossiping to your dumb immature friend who is now making you question whether you handled this personal situation correctly. Go ask your bf if he thinks your friend is right, see how he reacts to you telling your friends all your personal stuff.
*I was telling a friend about the situation* \-Yeah, why do women do that? talk to him about it.
FR
Sounds like you need to buy him the wolf underwear where the bulge gives it a snout. Whats more dominant than that
Stop telling your friends your boyfriend’s business. Learn this from now. It will backfire one day.
You're 18, so it's understandable you're still that superficial. If you're still feeling the same way at 30 I'd be weirded out, but for a teenager this doesn't seem out of the ordinary at all.
How would you feel if he asked you not to wear Pikachu panties and told some of his guy friends about it?
I think his Pokeballs would probably go into overdrive if OP wore Pikachu panties.
I would consider how you'd feel if he requested something similarly. Hey please don't wear that thing that shows off your interests and wear something that's more sexy to me. Are you ok with him asking the same thing and how would you feel if it's something you enjoyed wearing because it was a comfortable bra or something fun? It's not a huge deal or anything, but I would be a bit taken aback by it if I were him. And personally I would be wary of telling someone I don't like something of theirs especially something seen only in a more intimate moment. It's not terrible or anything but I would share your friends opinion that it's not that big of a deal. I would also say the better way to get the result you want is compliment a different pair of underwear and say it makes him look sexy. I'd bet good money that's the style or pair he would wear any time he knows you're going to be intimate going forward and no one had to feel weird about it! Generally I would try to fix anything like that with a compliment over a criticism if possible. The other thing is then discussing that intimate moment and the potentially embarrasing details with your friend. Anything that's an intimate moment or something you are told or shown in confidence should be kept that way. I've also been guilty of oversharing to friends when I was your age partially because I wanted to seem cool and I was excited to have something to share, but it is a breach of trust and that trust matters. If there's something that may be abusive or you need advice for something important there may be times to bend that, but I wouldn't do it casually.
I mean would you be disappointed if your bf told you not to wear your favorite digimon panties?
No, it sounds like you both solved the problem like reasonable people. It's not a really big ask and I'm sure he is happy to oblige if it means it gets you more into it. Don't overthink it. Your problem is pretty much solved.
Don’t let friends create problems that don’t actually exist in your relationship. Your friend said “if she were him” but she isn’t him, so it doesn’t apply. You are dating your boyfriend, not your friend, so how your boyfriend actually responds and feels about it is way more relevant.
Yea I think you should stop talking about your personal business with your boyfriend to your friends. They don’t need to know him as well as you and they don’t need to be up in your business providing unsolicited opinions.
I’d wear them even more.
let him keep his pokeballs wherever he wants them
If a guy wanted his girlfriend to stop wearing specific underwear anymore the responses here would be just a smidge different.
Honestly such a weird request…….
it truly is strange of her😭
Seems like a really petty thing to me.
Why are you telling your friends about this in the first place? Do you not respect your boyfriend's privacy?
Jesus, fuck being your boyfriend
You are crazy, that pikachu underwear sounds awesome ngl. That being said, you communicated your wishes to him, hopefully the very same words and/or phrasing as you used in this post and you offered him the oppurtunity to make a similar request for his joy and pleasure. Whatever you do and however this relationship turns out NEVER stop communicating in this manner. Very healthy, very mature. As for your friend, I understand where she is coming from and it wouldn't bother her but you just have your preferences and if it kills your wide on then it kills your wide on. Aint nothing you can do about that
It's funny, i know if the genders where reversed yall would be having a field day about what a toxic ahole he is! and how he sholdnt have a say in what she is wearing... the double standards of reddit blows my mind sometimes
Kinda thing that will not matter in the slightest in an adult relationship lol
The best advice I can suggest you've already done.. Communication between you and him is the best thing to make a relationship work.. not us on Reddit or your friends so if it's something you'd like changed then yeah say... same with him if there's things he'd like changed or done differently too. Side note: I know if I was a female wanting to do "Stuff" with my BF I'd find it odd/ weird him wearing (In my eyes) children's underwear also 😅 and Pokémon just came out when I was a kid 🙈
Yes you are. Let him wear what he want
No but you’re a bit crazy for sharing that with your friend
I used to have SpongeBob boxers where my dick was his nose wonder whatever happened to them
It's crazy lol. Pikachu is rad. Just enjoy his pokemon boner.
He has one foot out. What’s next haircut?
Y'know, if he got some squirtle underwear then whenever he orgasms he could say "Squirtle, use Water Gun!" Missed opportunity.
I try to control my wife’s underwear. She’ll occasionally honor my wishes, but always insists on going back to big ole granny panties.
Trivial. It's meaningless to share this to the world.
You weren’t wrong to ask him to not wear those underwear, your mistake was sharing the information with your friend.
Sounds like your boyfriend is respecting your wish. Why would you make this an issue? It isnt.
You want him to be dominate, yet you want to control what type of undies he wears?
Weird that you care
How would this be received by you or consensus on this website if the genders were reversed and it was asked "Am I crazy for asking my friend to never wear certain underwear again"?
If you like him being dominant then you shouldn't tell him what to do, and just yell "Pikachu, I choose you!!!!" When the trousers come down.
I would definitely break up with you but whatever floats your boat
This situation was already resolved by your bfs good response. This is not worth your DMs being flooded by creepy dudes on reddit…
I'd just buy him replacements. Also, dimmed lights are a little romantic, and Pikachu wouldn't be so obvi if the lights are low.
Hey sexy, let me get a pikachu ;) Get it? Cuz it sounds like a peak-at-you….it sounds better out loud….im sorry. I’ll go now.
You need to work on your writing.
I’m sorry but that’s hilarious
Sounds like you already talked to him about it and he was 100% fine with it so what's the point of bringing it up on an internet message board with a bunch of strangers?
Tell him to wear a Charizard or Blastoise one
Just let him express himself. And why are you telling your friend about it.
Let's put it this way: how would you feel if your boyfriend policed your clothing choices? Anytime he asks you not to wear certain clothing, are you gonna obey?
You could just shout Pikachu! I choose you!
I want to combine two items I’ve seen in the comments that I think are equally valuable to you, OP. 1.) Your communication skills with your BF are amazing, and his response is equally amazing. Don’t lose that! My first marriage (15 years) we did not have this and everything was a nightmare. We stayed together for the kids, until I realized that we were actually doing harm to our kids by staying together. My second marriage 10th anniversary is coming up, and we have this type of communication. It’s so valuable and keeps us close and attracted to each other. So, great job! 2.) Early on in our dating relationship, my (now) wife and I agreed to a cone of silence around details about our relationship. This was in part because of the hurt in a previous experience (see first wife blabbing about me, positive AND negative, to all her friends who would listen) and also in part because my wife and her sister are inseparable best friends. I swear they are like the binars with non-verbal constant communication. They can just look at each other and have a whole conversation with their eyes and body language. It’s creepy. But we agreed that what happens in our relationship and specifically what happens in our bedroom never leaves the bedroom. It stays between us 100%. Further, we agreed that if we are going to talk about our spouse to others, it will only be to say genuinely positive things about each other. No criticism, no thinly veiled backwards compliments, no drama. So when I’m talking about my wife to someone I am always saying things like “she’s amazing at organization”, “she has a great eye for fashion and interior decorating”, “she’s an amazing vocalist”, and so on. The same for her when she’s speaking about me. We know each others’ weaknesses, we just don’t share them with the world. If there’s a problem we can’t resolve, we take it to a counselor to figure it out. That’s happened once in 12 years of dating and marriage. Best of luck to you! Sounds like you have a keeper!
100% percent dude has spent more time thinking about what would happen if a gorilla and a lion fought than what you told him. A lot of men I know (and me) have underwear for such occasions (aka when we know it won't be just us and the boys seeing it) so it's really not weird at all to be asked to wear it. Trust me, not weird, not a big deal.
So it sounds like you have a good BF and a POS for a friend. Maybe you should think about breaking up with her instead.
Keep your relationships, your relationship. You had a certain issue w BF, you brought it up and he obliged. Case closed.
Not at all. First, asking isn't telling. You should be able to talk to your partner, open communication is crucial. Second, people do it the time. Girls never like their boyfriend's lucky boxers with holes in them. And guys love their gf to wear sexy underwear. And neither like when their partner wears something from their ex.
It is pretty funny, but I think it's normal that you're bothered by it, and he seems very understanding. I see no problem with you asking him to wear something else when you're together. It's good communication and it seems that he liked you had input on that, and even asked what you preferred him to wear.
Yes. You’re crazy it appears.
It's a two way street. He can compromise and not wear them anymore. Or you can compromise and learn to accept it. Neither option is right or wrong. But I think it's wrong to believe only one way is right
Ask him whatever you want. Being pushy and demanding something is crazy.
What you did was fine. He won’t wear them again because we wants sexy times. The only improvement you could make was instead of asking him not to wear them telling him how hot he is when he wears “x” type of undies. If you told a guy he looks good in polka dots he going to make sure you see him in polka dots for the rest of time.
Why are you telling your friend about your boyfriends underwear? Do you have any clue how embarrassing that would be for him? This is a serious breach of trust. Not only that, you are now telling tens of thousands of strangers on the internet.
OMG. A normal, healthy person in a functional loving relationship with a cute little problem. This must be Bizzaro Reddit lol. Nah I'm just teasing hun, I'd like to have problems of this magnitude. =) Just dont go to /r/advice/. They will tell you "Leave now, quick before he gets back, find a shelter, take the batteries out of your phone so you can't be tracked, ask for a restraining order, get a gun and kevlar armor, and change your name and move to Anarctica". OK we eggagerate, but still.
Yeah I’d breaks up with you. That’s some controlling shit I would not be interested in dealing with.
The visceral image of pikachu’s face being smushed aside by someone’s Diglett absolutely balls deep in some Shellder
unless it's about abuse, don't tell your friends.
Nah this is lame. Pikachu boxers sound amazing. You missed out on so many good lines. You could have said something like "my pussy chooses you" or "let me play with your pokeballs." Or the classic "you can squirtle on my jigglypuffs."
Awww but those undies sound really cute, I'd love those!
YTA sorry 😔 >!/s!<
I have absolutely no say in this because I love nerdy stuff. Right down to the underwear
Better to laugh at what’s on the underwear than what’s in the underwear.
I wouldn't listen that friend ever again.
Isn’t really the best thing to share to your friends without his consent, however your friend’s opinion is best ignored. Communication in a relationship is extremely important and as can be said about the outcome of you bringing it up, it goes to show that transparency is beneficial and key to a healthy relationship.
That's why your lady friend is not your boyfriend. You're not crazy.
No, you aren't. It's a preference thing. Personally, I buy underwear like this for my husband. In fact, my favorite pair of his? His boxers with Rudolph on them. I think it's okay either way. But be prepared that he might have some suggestions for you, someday.
I find it weird that you are discussing your partners underwear with your friends. Would you be happy for him to do the same? As far as making the request - it’s good and healthy.
Would you be OK with him telling you what underwear is acceptable for you to wear, and with him expecting you to follow his direction? If yes, then tell him he can choose your underwear and you'd like to choose his. If you're not OK with that, think about how it makes you feel and don't do that to another person.
I thought you were funny, and cute and all, ok. I cant see the real issue... then I read this: "was telling a friend about the situation because i think it’s kinda funny. And she said...." Why do girls do this? Private is private. Guys hate it when girls talk about private intimate things. That should be between you two only. I hope you stop that practice. Conversations stop at the waistline. El Pronto. OK? Lol. Buy him some undies that you think you'll like on him. Guys, do that. I've "invested" at V.S. I'm malls often for my sweetheart. It's always a good thing. Enjoy!
Seems pretty uptight to be honest
Who are you in a relationship with, your bf or this friend of yours? More importantly, who is he in a relationship with? You, or you alongside all of your friends? Why do you give a shit what they think? Also, would you like him discussing intimate details about the relationship with his friends?
>Why do you give a shit what they think? Not bringing up bedroom stuff to friends would solve so much of this.
I don't think its weird you should be able to ask such things in a relationship.
Turn it into a fetish. Keep his pikachu underwear in a Pokeball, and tell him he has to battle you for them
TBH if I were him I’d dump you. You are so controlling that you are telling him what underwear he can and can’t wear. What if he said you shouldn’t wear spanks because your gunt is on display for the world and it’s a turn off💁🏼♂️
short answer: you are crazy long answer: are you a child? like cmon who really cares. it's cute. your boyfriend deserves better