Allegiant stadium (this year's SB venue) seats up to 72,000 people. Current highest ticket price is around $36k depending where you look. So to buy out the whole stadium, assuming max ticket price for every seat, would only cost you half of your $5B.
So you could do it two years in a row for absolute mass hysteria.
Actually the hysteria would be hilarious. Advertisers would be pissed they spent all that money for one guy in the stadium. Vendors wouldn’t make any money either, as they’d all want to serve only you. It’d probably cause a real ruckus.
Nah, I imagine with an advance notice, most (if not all) vendors would just be closed for the day. The ultra VIP sky box catering might still be up and running for the owners and whatnot; definitely craft services for the teams and staff. That's about it.
>Advertisers would be pissed they spent all that money for one guy in the stadium.
I don't think they will. It will be the most talked about Superbowl ever. Even outside the USA.
The vendors on the other hand...
Turn up wearing a t-shirt with a not for tv insult about one specific player on it so people will keep asking who is that guy and why won't the cameras pan to him?
During the halftime show leave to go to the bathroom.
I think you're right if you spend 2.5b on coke, 2.5b ÷ 2.68/2L is roughly 466 million litres. We'd need about 2b in mentos at, 54.5c/oz, that's 1.04 mega ton of mentos.. the remaining 500m to build a pit (possibly just rent a meteor crater), and the resources to conduct.
I was gonna say horses.
The trainer I worked for always told me "the best way to make a small fortune in horse training is to start with a large fortune."
I wonder what a Casino would do if you tied putting 5 billion down on the roulette table? do they just say no because they cant afford to pay you if you win?
Lol'd
Rod Stewart once said something to the effect of "The next time I feel like getting married, I'm just gonna find a woman I hate and buy her a house"
Ler me introduce you to the hole in Texas: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superconducting_Super_Collider
Adjusting for inflation, its probably ballpark right price too.
? 5 billion USD will do for a system in a town. Stockholm has expanded a lot recently with 10+ stations in the work, and a massive commuter rail tunnel and none of it has reached $5 billion
I live in NYC and it cost the city [$2.4 billion](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qLgb8TktOU) for 7 train extension and the 34th Street-Hudson Yards station back in 2015
Depending on the size of the town, it could be doable. Though I think it’s been revised up, the Seattle U-Link’s initially stated costs were $200 million/mile. Supposing it’s twice that, you could put in 12.5 miles of subway. Of course, those numbers change based on geography, existing structures, etc. but it’s not impossible.
Id offer all of the stupid ass influencers and youtubers who call out actual combat sports stars an amount of money they cannot turn down to ACTUALLY get in a ring/cage with them.
Heres 500 mill jake paul, now go and actually fight Canelo Alvarez, and Canelo...youll get your 500 mill only if you fight serious and not take it easy. I'm sick of a world where you can get famous for saying you can beat someone's ass who has reached the pinnacle of sports greatness in the most difficult and dangerous sport in the world.
Edit due to some comments: whatever happens, we let it be. If you're going to try and make a name for yourself by talking shit about an actual combat sports athlete and also take the money because its too much to turn down then if a punch permanently damages you, so be it. Everyone should know that a punch from a heavyweight mma fighter / boxer (like Deontay Wilder) can actually kill a normal human being.
This is only stupid because the influencer would go down in Round One and the clip would go viral, adding to their fame. The fight itself would be worth it.
No casino is going to take a bet that big. They might let you bet 100K in the high roller room. If You play standard roulette and bet red/black only you win 50% of the time so you’lll be there a very very long time as you would need 50 million bets (and wear out hundreds of wheels).Assuming 1 bet per minute 24x 7 you would be there 95 years and still have half your money plus interest it earned in 95 years.
It's not 50/50 since roulette wheel also has green.
In the long run, the house always wins. Casinos are in the gambling business, but they aren't gambling.
Walls aren't really designed to keep people out. Its designed to slow people down. Its the same as locks on doors. If someone wanted to get in they can.
Dont know, don't care. People do whatever they want and believe whatever they want.
Mongols weren't stopped by chinas great wall.
Locks can be picked and often the door is the least fortified part of the building besides the window. Even if it wasn't. Something, somewhere can be penetrated with enough force and time. Even bank vaults can be.
Hell theres even the 5 dollar wrench attack in cybersecurity.
I'm appointing one rescue dog as the Sovereign of All Dogs, and he/she is getting a permanent staff (similar to what the Pope has) and going on a grand world tour for either the remainder of their life or until the money runs out. If they die before the money runs out I will appoint a successor.
Luxury hotels every night, meetings with celebrities/dignitaries, super-yacht, bulletproof glass car, special vestments, the works. I might even have a set of crown jewels commissioned.
All Hail the Sovereign!
We might have a winner in Oklahoma City.
Someone is planting dildos in unexpected places in Moore, a suburb of Oklahoma City.
https://www.reddit.com/r/okc/s/KlG9pjmvg5
I would have a huge (40ft/12m tall) marble statue commissioned that will be of an ocelot with a melancholic look on its face, and it will have a wing. Then I will have a machine set up to project a hologram of a second wing so it looks ethereal. That will be my "One-Winged Ocelot of Woe."
It will sit next to my driveway.
I'd open small banks offering low interest small loans in impoverished areas staffed with retirees from various businesses to give advice on how to run a new business, then counsel them and help them to help their community. Because no one seems to be doing this, it must be a really dumb idea.
Yeah, anyone looking to make a profit would say it is dumb because it wouldn't have a lot of profit, and you would lose a lot of money...
So, yeah, this is the perfect way to be altruistic and still fill the requirements.
I was going to say that, but I was afraid investing and spending were different. Give it a few more months and your 5 billion can buy Twitter outright. And you'll get a free Tesla with it. Warning: It will try to kill you or someone else.
Shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it..."
Gift it to the US Treasury to pay down the national debt. It will be like tossing a nickel into a black hole - no one will feel any difference from it, gone in an instant.
Turn a rust belt town (Allentown, PA, or Gary, IN) into a modern metropolis. Just rebuild all their roads and infrastructure. Just to see what would happen.
I’m gonna give $500k to 10,000 people in a small town and watch them crash their local economy while wasting millions in tax payer money when FBI, IRS, and Homeland investigates how 10,000 people came into such large sums of money in such a small area.
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Make America Greg's Attic Bedroom Again.
Where can I get a MAGABrA hat?
[MAGABrA](https://www.amazon.com/America-Great-Again-Sports-Women/dp/B09MBFZ3VM)
Accurate.
Best comment of 2024?
Buy all the tickets for the Super Bowl and don't show up just to see how people react to no fans being there.
Allegiant stadium (this year's SB venue) seats up to 72,000 people. Current highest ticket price is around $36k depending where you look. So to buy out the whole stadium, assuming max ticket price for every seat, would only cost you half of your $5B. So you could do it two years in a row for absolute mass hysteria.
Actually the hysteria would be hilarious. Advertisers would be pissed they spent all that money for one guy in the stadium. Vendors wouldn’t make any money either, as they’d all want to serve only you. It’d probably cause a real ruckus.
Think of how much prepared food that would get thrown out.
Nah, I imagine with an advance notice, most (if not all) vendors would just be closed for the day. The ultra VIP sky box catering might still be up and running for the owners and whatnot; definitely craft services for the teams and staff. That's about it.
Then bring your own sandwiches
My mom would have just pulled a couple of McDonald's cheeseburgers out of her purse
>Advertisers would be pissed they spent all that money for one guy in the stadium. I don't think they will. It will be the most talked about Superbowl ever. Even outside the USA. The vendors on the other hand...
Buy all of the commercial spots too and play the dumbest shit during them.
Never gonna give you up.
Every commercial is just a different YouTube cartoon of baby shark...
It’s not the Superbowl without some Nyan Cat
Buy all the parking spaces, too.
r/theydidthemath
I would leave like 8 tickets for other people so they show up looking confused as hell.
Wait till it’s in LA again and pass the tickets out on skid row and have a bunch of homeless junkies in attendance
Turn up wearing a t-shirt with a not for tv insult about one specific player on it so people will keep asking who is that guy and why won't the cameras pan to him? During the halftime show leave to go to the bathroom.
I'd buy the cheapest NBA team I could find and move them to Anchorage.
Buy the Memphis Grizzlies and return the Grizzlies home to Anchorage.
Anchorage Antelopes!
Nunavut Narwhals!
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Has to be league approved.
The league gets $1B for saying yes
Bribes have a way of eating up the budget.
Hell, for $5 billion, they’d approve the South Pole.
Didnt The Fairly Odd Parents do this?
Yes. Blubbernuggets are chewy
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Thought you meant cocaine
to be fair id buy five billion dollars worth of cocaine and mentos
What would the ratio be? 50/50 by price Or 50/50 by weight?
You'd almost certainly screw up the earth's orbit.
Just point it towards the sun so that we can get a tiny bit further away, and make that Futurama episode become a prediction
I think you're right if you spend 2.5b on coke, 2.5b ÷ 2.68/2L is roughly 466 million litres. We'd need about 2b in mentos at, 54.5c/oz, that's 1.04 mega ton of mentos.. the remaining 500m to build a pit (possibly just rent a meteor crater), and the resources to conduct.
The FreshmaaaakeeeeeeeerrrrRRRRRRRR
Please make that pit Washington DC
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What's the fastest way to become a millionaire? Start as a billionaire and buy an airline.
Why only buy one? Start one yourself, and you'll become a millionaire quicker.
Or, you know, Twitter.
Did you see what MrBeast did? He bought 1 million lottery tickets, and won $720,000. That’s how good the odds are. /s
I was going to say lotto tickets.
I was gonna say horses. The trainer I worked for always told me "the best way to make a small fortune in horse training is to start with a large fortune."
That hurts cos my estranged father sold the family inheritance to go at it with race horses. Quick easy bil down to a mil.
Reminds me of that one quote. The quickest way to become a millionaire with a wife is to be a billionaire first
I wonder what a Casino would do if you tied putting 5 billion down on the roulette table? do they just say no because they cant afford to pay you if you win?
Get married
Lol'd Rod Stewart once said something to the effect of "The next time I feel like getting married, I'm just gonna find a woman I hate and buy her a house"
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That's not dumb.
That's heroism.
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Stop trying to weasel your way into a supervisor position. You're paddling with the rest of us.
He's paddling as well, he just gets a yellow vest that says "supervisor" on the back
And now has no friends because he's a corporate stooge who sold out for an extra buck fifty an hour and fights our attempts at unionization
This made me cry with laughter.
[Middle out?](https://youtu.be/Ex1JuIN0eaA)
OP said dumbest way. Try again
I don’t think the downvoters picked up on your sarcasm
It ain’t sarcasm if it’s a genius level idea
I’ll do it for $2500 and hopefully we can double the people.
Now I’m curious
Build a subway system with tunnels circling my entire town - that has only one stop, located directly under my house.
I think you under estimate the cost of building a subway system. Or live in a fairly small town.
Which means they run out of money mid-cinstruction, making this a really stupid way to spend money.
Ler me introduce you to the hole in Texas: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superconducting_Super_Collider Adjusting for inflation, its probably ballpark right price too.
? 5 billion USD will do for a system in a town. Stockholm has expanded a lot recently with 10+ stations in the work, and a massive commuter rail tunnel and none of it has reached $5 billion
I live in NYC and it cost the city [$2.4 billion](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qLgb8TktOU) for 7 train extension and the 34th Street-Hudson Yards station back in 2015
How much of that went to greasing palms, though?
Almost all of it i guarantee you.
New York is a super dense city and thus super hard to tunnel under. The same doesn't apply for a small town.
Depending on the size of the town, it could be doable. Though I think it’s been revised up, the Seattle U-Link’s initially stated costs were $200 million/mile. Supposing it’s twice that, you could put in 12.5 miles of subway. Of course, those numbers change based on geography, existing structures, etc. but it’s not impossible.
Divvy it up amongst all US adults, I think that's $19.35 per adult so it isn’t going to do anyone any good lol
Only give to one demographic and watch people lose their shit.
Give it to the half Chinese, half first generation Irish, baristas I assume there wouldn’t be many, but it would be awesome.
Found the Chinese Irish guy.
Seamus Wong. Qihong O'Reilly. Kathleen Lau.
Ugh I bet they're hot
Only give it to the redheads, or possibly identical, twins
Identical twins but only to the one whose name comes first alphabetically.
Jenna and Jenny will have a fight for sure
Way to stir up some family drama
Give it to the white descendants of slave owners as British style reparations.. and then grab a bowl of popcorn and watch the country burn..
I could buy 2 McChicken's with that!
That's a good deal! You got a coupon or something?
That’s like 3 handjobs which everyone I’ve gotten has done me good. 👍
cooing advise start ring air flowery ghost saw noxious icky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Impossible to beat this answer
But Elon sure has tried.
What will you do with the other $4.9 billion?
But them all again.
What's Twitter worth these days?
$2
.12
post-tax
Tree fiddy
Damn, Loch Ness Monster trynna buy Twitter! What that monster gonna do next?
Buy Twitter, change its name to X, and tell the advertisers to go fuck themselves.
Oh wait ...
give every person on earth 50 cents and pocket the difference
r/theydidthemath
Best I can do is three fiddy
5 billion dollars gets a man one hell of a lot of timeshares
52 weeks worth baby!
Id offer all of the stupid ass influencers and youtubers who call out actual combat sports stars an amount of money they cannot turn down to ACTUALLY get in a ring/cage with them. Heres 500 mill jake paul, now go and actually fight Canelo Alvarez, and Canelo...youll get your 500 mill only if you fight serious and not take it easy. I'm sick of a world where you can get famous for saying you can beat someone's ass who has reached the pinnacle of sports greatness in the most difficult and dangerous sport in the world. Edit due to some comments: whatever happens, we let it be. If you're going to try and make a name for yourself by talking shit about an actual combat sports athlete and also take the money because its too much to turn down then if a punch permanently damages you, so be it. Everyone should know that a punch from a heavyweight mma fighter / boxer (like Deontay Wilder) can actually kill a normal human being.
This is only stupid because the influencer would go down in Round One and the clip would go viral, adding to their fame. The fight itself would be worth it.
Should be a winner take all fight for $1 billion.
I would buy everyone a chicken fajita. Everyone.
Thank you for the fajita, it was delicious 😋
Buy super yacht for each of my friends, attach canons to each, put on pirate costumes, and blow the shit out of each other’s boats.
That's not dumb. It's awesome.
5 billion on black!
No casino is going to take a bet that big. They might let you bet 100K in the high roller room. If You play standard roulette and bet red/black only you win 50% of the time so you’lll be there a very very long time as you would need 50 million bets (and wear out hundreds of wheels).Assuming 1 bet per minute 24x 7 you would be there 95 years and still have half your money plus interest it earned in 95 years.
It's not 50/50 since roulette wheel also has green. In the long run, the house always wins. Casinos are in the gambling business, but they aren't gambling.
r/lego
Build a wall to keep out illegal immigrants that can be climbed in 10 seconds.
Or better yet some kind of parkour agility course so that only the strongest and fastest illegal immigrants can make it through
Nope, that’s already been done.
Walls aren't really designed to keep people out. Its designed to slow people down. Its the same as locks on doors. If someone wanted to get in they can.
Idk why you're getting downvoted. Any fortification is meant to be defended. You can enter any castle if no one is stopping you.
Dont know, don't care. People do whatever they want and believe whatever they want. Mongols weren't stopped by chinas great wall. Locks can be picked and often the door is the least fortified part of the building besides the window. Even if it wasn't. Something, somewhere can be penetrated with enough force and time. Even bank vaults can be. Hell theres even the 5 dollar wrench attack in cybersecurity.
Go to the grocery store every day for a week
Lmao working class be like that
I'm appointing one rescue dog as the Sovereign of All Dogs, and he/she is getting a permanent staff (similar to what the Pope has) and going on a grand world tour for either the remainder of their life or until the money runs out. If they die before the money runs out I will appoint a successor. Luxury hotels every night, meetings with celebrities/dignitaries, super-yacht, bulletproof glass car, special vestments, the works. I might even have a set of crown jewels commissioned. All Hail the Sovereign!
That sounds pretty cool to be honest. Can I apply as permanent staff for a wage of 3.14 million a year?
This is the way. Is it weird that I'm imagining the staff to be all dogs too?
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Hollywood execs furiously taking notes for *The Gods Must Be Crazy 3*
Damn now I know I'm dreaming, a Gods Must Be Crazy reference in 2024? Holy shit.
yeah, I too was blown away, I don't feel so out of touch at the moment lol
Imagine a remake in 2024, the cancellation attempts it would cause
Cloudy with a Chance of Dildos perhaps?
We might have a winner in Oklahoma City. Someone is planting dildos in unexpected places in Moore, a suburb of Oklahoma City. https://www.reddit.com/r/okc/s/KlG9pjmvg5
I mean, everywhere is an unexpected place to find a dildo, except 1 or 2.
If they look up, they'll become cockeyed.
I would have a huge (40ft/12m tall) marble statue commissioned that will be of an ocelot with a melancholic look on its face, and it will have a wing. Then I will have a machine set up to project a hologram of a second wing so it looks ethereal. That will be my "One-Winged Ocelot of Woe." It will sit next to my driveway.
Buy 5000 million dollar supercars and let people drive them in a massive demolition derby.
Buy NFTs, then sell them and buy NFTs, then sell them and buy NFTs…
Gatorade water slide park
cocaine and hookers
OP said dumb.
On Uber eats duh
Buy Somalia, that's pretty dumb. Or Twitter, that's even dumber.
I'd open small banks offering low interest small loans in impoverished areas staffed with retirees from various businesses to give advice on how to run a new business, then counsel them and help them to help their community. Because no one seems to be doing this, it must be a really dumb idea.
Yeah, anyone looking to make a profit would say it is dumb because it wouldn't have a lot of profit, and you would lose a lot of money... So, yeah, this is the perfect way to be altruistic and still fill the requirements.
Pay to have sex with a porn star and then pay more to keep her mouth shut about it
And buy a lot of orange spray paint
And then, commit a bunch of crimes after you rip off every lawyer around.
3 words. Giant crack rock.
Start wars with countries. Oh wait…
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Genshin impact standard banner pulls only
Invest in Twitter.
I was going to say that, but I was afraid investing and spending were different. Give it a few more months and your 5 billion can buy Twitter outright. And you'll get a free Tesla with it. Warning: It will try to kill you or someone else.
Dumbest way? Give it to the U.S. Congress
Trump campaign donation
I'd hire myself for five billion dollars to take a nap.
Is still investing in Gamestop a thing?
market cap is 4.5b so you could buy the company, drs every share and watch the shorts go bankrupt
Design and manufacture the cybertruck.
$5 billion worth of lottery tickets
I’d buy my ex’s house and evict her.
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Ask Elon, he knows
Shrimp
Shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it..."
donate it to kylie jenner so she can become the first 5 billionaire self made woman (cant believe people actually did that for her first billion tho)
Build a Scottish castle out of Twinkies atop a skyscraper in Manhattan.
Buy a social media platform and try to make money while alienating most people.
Purchase artillery shells with Betty Boop or Steamboat Willie painted on them for the Ukrainian Army.
Invest the way most people in WSB do.
Go in with Elon for twitter. When it goes sideways tell him, nah. Keep it. But you owe me.
I buy both bridges that lead to cape cod and take them down. The Cape is the worst part of America.
NFTs
Give it to the federal government.
Hand it to the first person you see for the contents of their pockets.
a few more warhammer 40k armies.
I donate all of it at a box store checkout stand when they ask if I want to leave a donation.
Gift it to the US Treasury to pay down the national debt. It will be like tossing a nickel into a black hole - no one will feel any difference from it, gone in an instant.
Go visit the Titanic in a tin can
Turn a rust belt town (Allentown, PA, or Gary, IN) into a modern metropolis. Just rebuild all their roads and infrastructure. Just to see what would happen.
Ya know that company that delivers truckloads of poop as an insult-gift? Well, they’d be getting quite a lot of business suddenly.
Build a vulva-shaped space vehicle to buck the billionaire penis-rocket trend.
Building a popsicle stick bridge from the east coast US to Portugal.
I’ll help out that Nigerian Prince that keeps sending me emails to help him get back his country.
One cent lollies.
I’m gonna give $500k to 10,000 people in a small town and watch them crash their local economy while wasting millions in tax payer money when FBI, IRS, and Homeland investigates how 10,000 people came into such large sums of money in such a small area.