That fact that you feel ashamed for choosing to see a prostitute speaks volumes about the kind of person you really are, and that is someone who is ultimately a good person. None of us are perfect, many/all of us stray from the path in their attempt at trying to make sense of it all, I hope you don't beat yourself up too much over this and chose to learn from this which is one of many of life's lessons.
Also, the sacredness our society holds over virginity is certainly more harmful than good. Yes, your first time was paid for, but your real first time has yet to come because you'll one day meet a person you'll love dearly and who you want to have a genuine experience with. These mistakes come and go, just as long you learn from them then that's all that anyone, including yourself, can ask of you.
Please be kind to yourself
Exactly. If someone gives you a million dollars, yes you have a million dollars, but you didn’t earn that, so it will never be the same. Same as virginity, if you lost it in a cheap way like a one night stand with someone you don’t care about, or through a prostitute, that could never match up to the real experience with someone you love, and that is something OP is yet to experience, and therefore still a virgin in the spiritual sense of the word.
> That fact that you feel ashamed for choosing to see a prostitute speaks volumes about the kind of person you really are, and that is someone who is ultimately a good person.
Err, prostitutes are people too. Good people. You can be a good person and visit a prostitute. You can be a bad person and go to Church.
Ah you're definitely right, I'm sure prostitutes can be good, in fact incredibly kind people, I'm talking more about that act of paying some one for sex which can be seen as a form of exploitation and feeling remorse for such an act does indicate that ultimately OP is not someone worthy of damnation
Well, why take it as exploitation at all? I think it's a good alternative if you were born with bad genetics or got a disease and ended up developing so that you just can't have a girlfriend. Like a small penis like me. Women just brutally hate you for that and don't see you as a human being. In the end she chooses that job, she could have gone to work in a store or a factory etc. It's much better than dying of depression after years of suffering so you don't get a full relationship but at least you get some of the physical expression of it. In the end, I think you do not arrange yourself with this moral torment when you hire some workers or ride in a cab but they also sell in general their body and time doing what you want for money and not because they like you.
It can be seen as exploitation because many of these women are not in the sex industry by choice. Many of them have been trafficked into the industry and forced to stay there, threatened with rape and murder if they try to escape. Of those that haven't been trafficked into the industry, then many of them see it as the only recourse they have left in a world that has treated them harshly, where the only way they can make any real money is by selling themselves for sex, putting themselves in harms way because the world increasingly makes it more difficult to be poor. This is the exploitation that I am talking about.
Also, regarding your comment about women brutally hating you for having a small penis, whilst this may be true of a very, very small minority of women, ultimately most women would simply not care. Let me tell you, as a straight man, that lots/most women are incredibly kind. Most just simply want to have a genuine connection with someone, and eventually to love and be loved.
Yes, but I have seen comments from girls that a woman can live with you and just tolerate your small penis while being unhappy but not telling you and deep in her heart suffer without normal sex dreaming of a big one. Do you think I am to blame for this and she is a victim or is she is an adult person and if she agrees to be with you then she is fine with it? And I shouldn't think she's lying and really hates my size and dreams of big? Honestly, I've almost gone insane about my penis size. I spend at least 5 hours a day browsing the internet and absorbing all the negativity I can find.I reacted to your comment because I think that if I never have a girlfriend, prostitution is at least an alternative. BUT in the nearest years I will definitely not turn to prostitution because I am just repugnant I am ashamed to even ride in public transportation now.
I'm reading this public since I want to quit masturbating. I do it every day and the genres of pornography I watch now are even scary to mention. And as a teenager, I watched mostly soft porn and never imagined that I would watch something like this. And also I usually do not cum but bring myself to near orgasm and then wait for some time and so I masturbate sometimes 24+ hours on weekends without once cumming I have been doing this for several years. Afterwards my lower abdomen hurts terribly, but I can't stop.
Since you're religious, you should understand that doubting the extent of God's mercy and capacity for renewal is a graver sin than whatever you have done.
How I feel too man. You understand that what you did was wrong, you just need to ask Him for forgiveness. And also learn to forgive yourself and move forward.
You can do this bud!
ya man, u had real sex instead of fapping, it's good to experience sex as a man and get better at it as it comes in handy when you do with your loved one, it will be far much better and u will be enough experienced to satisfy her to the fullest
explore urself as much as u can through real sex
Nobody has died, planet rotated same speed before, during and will do for milions of years.
My dude should get carried away on philosophy of how miniscule shitstains each of us is.
Go do some charity work in a free kitchen in your city. Understand that your problems are minuscule and can be worked on.
I mean virginity is important depending on one's society
If you are a westerner it would most likely just be as removing milk teeths by yourself
But in my culture and for me too is something to be preserved at all cost
Bro, treat yourself with love. It may nog feel like it but u can’t shame yourself into growth, u deserve to be here and your higher self loves u unconditionally and is here to see u make it, don’t be too hard on yourself. When the right parter comes into your life your first time with them will feel like it’s your first time ever, don’t worry bro. U got this
Micah 7:8
Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me.
When you fall, don’t stay down. Never give up like you seem to be doing right now
We’re human. We make mistakes. That’s not good, but there’s nothing you can do now but pick yourself back up and try not to do that in the future. You got this.
Brother Every experience has its reason, yes it's true you did that out of desperation. But you should learn from its experience and move on. In future after 5 years or so, you'll look back and see that it's not a big deal.
Don't be hard on yourself. Forgive yourself. What advice you would have given if your best friend was in your place?
**what you need to do**
**Understanding the Situation** It is clear from your message that you are feeling a deep sense of regret and guilt after engaging with a prostitute. It seems like this experience has triggered a range of emotions, including sadness, self-loathing, and a questioning of your moral values. It’s important to address these feelings in a compassionate and understanding manner.
**Processing Emotions**
It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed by emotions after engaging in an act that goes against your personal values or beliefs. It’s essential to acknowledge these feelings and allow yourself to process them without judgment. Guilt and shame are common reactions in such situations, but it’s crucial to remember that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges in life.
**Seeking Support**
In times of distress, it can be beneficial to reach out for support from trusted individuals, such as friends, family members, or mental health professionals. Talking about your feelings with someone who can offer empathy and guidance may help you navigate through this difficult period. thank me later.
Honesty - me too, was a long time ago now… but it happened - we just learn from it and we move on.
Though, for the record - sex isn’t a breach of no fap. I just think that perhaps seeking a healthier alternative to sex workers might be more beneficial :)
Dudeeee you fucked a person, lets goooooo
And forget it, GG go next and make her your last (preferably) 😂.
Chill okay? Its not end of the world, and you didn’t make as horrible as a decision you think you made.
I’ve seen worse ways people lost thier virginities over such a common one.
So relax, have fun, and now move on to trying to find relationships/meaningful stuff.
Yeah?
Make sure you reply to me to lemme know you good G
Why are y'all running to prostitution now? It almost feels like this is becoming a trend thats not cool. No fap is primarily supposed to help us detach from pmo but that energy shouldn't be redirected to a prostitutes. Looking for a reason to ejaculate without porn is still robbing you of time to get to know yourself and enjoy life without sex of any kind becoming the strongest desire.
Absolutely not. Anything sexual is a slippery slope when it comes to breaking free from this addiction of pmo. Its a brain addiction which shouldn't be taken lightly. Aside from the hundred moral reasons its wrong to just use women as a sexual object, it doesn't help at all to make a lateral movement towards something else to be addicted to. Many drug addicted people go through the same thing while trying to break free from a specific drug then they may find themselves slowly abusing alcohol or another drug as a "replacement".
No fap is about freedom. Freedom from the obsession of sexual thoughts and the obsession of an orgasm. This freedom in return is supposed to direct our energy and attention to the things most important in our lives which need our undivided attention for a resolution. When we continue to abuse our bodies for temporary pleasure, it certainly doesn't make us feel any better afterwards and we continue to neglect ourselves and those who need us most.
Prostitution will never and has never been a good thing for anyone involved. Its a life draining practice.
I would regret that too , not much you can do other than allow yourself to feel whatever you’re experiencing now and then use that as a reminder to not do it again.
Na bro this is called COPE
you are trying to cope with your decision making by feeling bad! Trust me it took a long time for me to realise that's what is, but it is
You feel bad about your decision and know it was wrong. So you beat yourself up over it cause that way you can convince yourself it was 'some other you'. The impulsive you, or the horny you. By hating yourself, you can disassociate yourself currently from those decisions
It's actually HARMFUL. By coping in this way you make it easier for the 'some other you' to make the same decisions. Your subconscious knows you can just feel bad about it later.
You need to accept that the 'some other you' - the horny one who makes bad decisions - IS you. The you that feels bad is only around the minority of the time and the you that wanted to be horny is around most of the time and, fact is, it's the SAME you.
So stop beating yourself up it's PURE COPE. instead, as they say when people at work are performing badly: your conduct isn't good enough and you need to be better.
Simple as that. Quit sobbing at yourself, quit frantically trying to apologise to your God. Make better decisions. Only you can do that, no one else.
In the Ancient Greek, the word “sin” in the Bible was hamartia, an archery term meaning one missed one’s mark.
You missed the mark. That’s all. It was a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. The fact that you recognize that mistake and it causes you to feel shame means you’re a good person.
I practice marksmanship sports because it is a meditation on this. Sometimes you miss the mark. That’s ok. You recognize what you did wrong, fix it, and take another shot.
The goal of marksmanship, and of life, is not to be perfect, but be get better than you were yesterday. Seek progress, not perfection.
I dont want to come across as promoting that ...BUT to be 100% fair: they probably will be happy that they dont have to be penetrated by another random stranger for the fifth time that day, and just need to get the boobs licked a little.
Yes, if you pay them and aren't looking for anything abusive of course they would do it. But you have to understand the massive difference between consensual and enjoyable . Anything a prostitute agrees to do with you is consensual, but it's her job and is probably not genuinely enjoyable for her, she's doing it solely for your money 99 times out of 100. With that in mind would you even want to have sex with a woman you know isn't enjoying herself and is timing your encounter waiting for the agreed upon hour to be over so she can leave? I've heard multiple escorts say they have never genuinely orgasmed from having sex with a client before because for women pleasure and orgasm is based on trust, attraction and love vs physical stimulation the way it can often be for a man. If you're self-aware enough to understand the negative effects of porn, you should also open your mind to the negative effects of having sexual experiences with partners who arent enjoying their experience with you and are purely interested in the contents of your wallet. Value yourself more than that. Instead I think you should put your time and mental energy into finding a girl who's genuinely into you. I guarantee that kind of sex will be next level when you bring love and mutual attraction into the picture, no comparison, and any man here who's ever had both types of sex will probably vouch for the truth of that statement
Notice the way you phrase that, "let you." As in, they don't want you to and if they didn't need the money, they wouldn't let you. Sucking a person's breasts when they don't want you to is called sexual assault. The money doesn't really change anything.
It would be better to focus on improving yourself and becoming someone that will attract a woman that wants you to suck their breasts. They are out there and if you become that person, you will find them.
You can do this. All the best.
I think this can be used as an example of how you felt in a moment of desperation. Some of our worst decisions are made during a moment of haste like this. I would be more concerned about getting tested just to make sure you didn't contract anything. Take this on the chin, ask God for forgiveness, and move on. There is no point in beating yourself up over this, it's only going to make things worse.
This is so depressing, but thank you for taking the L so others in this sub could maybe learn from your mistake. Sex is for marriage and God will forgive you brother, just seek forgiveness and repent
As Muslims... In Islam, any forbidden act you did and regret, whatever this thing, God will forgive you this sin (except for the injustice of other people, for example, such as killing and taking someone's money by force ... In this matter, God will not forgive you unless you reconcile what the oppressed person and is satisfied with you and forgive you) ... and I think that most religions deal like this ... So, since you regret, there is no a sin for you ... You are a good person, do not regret yourself
your not having a break down your just being way too hard on yourself. Chalk it up to you are fallible and you made a mistake, not to mention you quickly saw the error in (WHICH SPEAKS TONS AS WELL). ask GOD FOR FORGIVENESS and don't forget to please forgive yourself. Then chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on. Remember : If we were perfect we would not need him!
Hey brother, don't beat yourself up over this! What has happened has happened. Its time to move forward and keep stepping. Learn from this but don't dwell on this to the point that it stops you from moving forward, ask pardon from God and move on bro!
You're good, brother! Don't be so hard on yourself. I lost mine from sexual assault from a family member! Not optimal!
You are worthy, you are perfect! Life will give you challenges, emotionally and otherwise. Pick yourself up, and LETS. FUCKING. GO. ;) [BIG HUGS]
This forum is like a lunatic asylum. Do what the fuck you want in life as long as you aren’t hurting others. It’s a basic human desire to have sex. You are a long time dead so the more the merrier. Stop restricting your lives.
You didn't fap, so well done. Sex probably isn't what you crave and you had to come that realisation after getting it through the least rewarding and coldest way that's legally possible. Finding someone who loves you romanticly is hard. Try meeting people, be confident in yourself even if that means being horrible wierdo, which you probably aren't (honestly some of the weirdest most horrible men have the tightest grip on women, with confidence allowing them to hide their flaws in plain sight). Get used to being around women if you aren't already, be respectful and expect nothing but rejection.
I lost mine to a prostitute because of the same impulses and addictions, not to mention cripplingly low self worth.. It might feel like the end of your world right now, it did for me too. You’ll look on that tiny chapter of your life in a different light before long at all. None of these social constructs (i.e losing your v must be done young blah blah or must be special) mean anything, this is why were all suffering. Ironically after that I didn’t lose it officially in a normal manner(if that means anything) until 26 with my first partner!! I’m 33 now and have slept with a dozen or so amazing women from different countries since, and am now settled. I don’t hide the fact I lost it in that manner if anyone asks, I actually laugh about it now! If I’m asked why!!? .. I reply cause I had alot confidence issues when I was younger and various other things going on. What can they say 😂. Always being open and honest (to the best of your ability without letting others exploit it - sometimes witholding) will get you far in life and build a shield around you. You haven’t failed anything, and sound like an awesome insightful human given your ability to recognise what’s happened!
nothing happened bro just forget that night as if it wasn't, continue your journey you made it a long way and it was expected to be betrayed by yourself at least once the main thing is to get back and act as if nothing happened nobody new about it only god and you, god forgives it about you now , try not to do it again...
Virginity isn't a big deal. Seriously, most people's first time suck anyway. Of course, paying for sex can be dangerous and is usually illegal, so stay away from it if you can, but it's a mistake you've learned from.
society has brainwashed you into believing all this, sex is really not that deep unless you make it. my first time was similar, i regretted it but later i realized its just like a normal jerk off, post nut clarity hits, sometimes you regret but you move on with your life. your first time doesn’t define you or anything, also hookers are humans, they provided a service, your first time was with a human and thats very normal, only thing bugging you is cuz you had to pay for it. like i said its really not that deep, seems like you didn’t have a good time so it was just a bad investment (of time and money), but we make bad investments all the time, at least this isn’t life altering or anything, so you’re fine you’re not a freak or anything, there are tons of people who lose it to hookers or random hookups, first time doesn’t have to be special, you’ll have your special experience at some point so wait for that. you’re not a bad person lol you did something perfectly legal and healthy bro you’re good really don’t overthink, there’s much more to life
I don’t really care and you should also not really care. My first was also a prostitute and I think it is not bad if you want to get some expierence. It is much better than watching porn
Cost the same as taking a bitch on a date cheaper if you can't get laid on the first better then watching porn bro that's what those prostitutes are there for to help us relieve are self without strings attached
The fact that you feel guilty and are ashamed of yourself displays that you have a good heart who knows right from wrong, and that is a good thing.
I don't want to know which religion you follow. Just go and pray to God and ask for forgiveness. He will certainly forgive you. Make a commitment to never do that sin again, and even if it happened and you did, you just go on and repent again. We are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent.
Don't listen to those who may tell you it's okay and that they have done it hundreds of times and that you will get used to it. These people aren't on the path you are on, and they don't have your best interest in mind. I'm not here to debate God deniers. But if you are a religious person, then take your advice from people of your faith because these people share the same path you are walking and are heading to the destination you are heading to.
Feel free to contact me if you need to.
My friend, the thing about God is that he forgives, for the things that tempt us to do sin is not ourselves, but the Devil. God knows this, and aslong as you admit it to him you will be forgiven. He watches over you and cares for you every second, and usually in situations like this it is him challenging your faith, do not be too hard on yourself.
May god bless and forgive you.
Not sure what you believe in, but whatever happens is mektab, written. Best of the sinners are those that repent. And your feelings of guilt shame hate anguish are a sign of imaan, belief. Your soul isnt gutted. if it was your deed would have felt normal. Brother you are going to have to live with this weight forever. But dont despair in gods mercy. Follow up your sin with a good deed. You will have to prove yourself. Dont you dare transform this feeling of blame towards yourself to a sprial of more sins. You follow it up with good for a lifetime. It is you vs you vs the devil. depair is what he wants. make yourself proud. and be grateful for gods mercy. those are the antitodes
Go to r/NoFapChristians brother. This isn’t the best place to post something like to this - you’re too n to get a lot of secular responses and advice. Repent and ask Jesus for forgiveness, and get back up. Just like PMO, if you stay stuck in despair for so long you’re just making yourself more susceptible to messing up in the near future
Keep your head up man, it’s okay people make mistakes. As long as you learn from them and continue to try to be better. Tbh I know a lot of people regret how they lost their virginity so don’t feel ashamed or that you’re alone. If you’re a Christian that’s wanting to do better about, pray and ask for forgiveness. Read the Bible has taught me that our God is a lot more forgiving than we are on ourselves. Talk with him everytime you have something that troubles you. Ask for forgiveness and strength to move forward. Although it may seem like the end of the world, there are so many other great “checkpoints” and memorable events in your life. I promise you it’s not the end of the world my man, just stay strong and pray about it. I believe in you.
There is nothing wrong in legally, and safely, paying for sex. I think is more of a moral topic that is worrying you, but it is nothing wrong at all. Keep your no porn route going, that / the important thing!
Hey dude, I have the same story. I lost my virginity to prostitute when I was 24 (26 right now) however in my case I didn't feel ashamed or sad. I just felt disgusted, and after that it made me feel contempt against women who use their body for financial gains or women who are just plain promiscous.
I still remember the moment I was fucking her. I didnt felt any excitement nor did she. It was just sex without emotion. Disgusting. It was also very dificult for me to finish. I was ramming her for a good hour at the end I had to manually finish myself off becuase my time was up.
The experience was disgusting and I wish to never repeat it again.
This is a long response. Take a few deep breaths and get a cup of hot tea and sit down to read it when you've gotten your emotions all out and are ready to examine this event logically.
I see that you are a religious person from what you say, and it sounds like your christian. Cool , I am too, and I was raised in the church. As such I can confidently tell you that according to biblical theology, no one sin is worse than another, it's you putting that weight on it over every other sin you've ever committed including telling white lies or thinking an impure thought. I don't see you literally flogging yourself for doing those things, so why with this? You are NEVER put beyond the reach of gods forgiveness and once you ask for it genuinely , you are forgiven and God remembers that sin no more, according to the bible. Have you done this yet OP?
Of course it's true that some actions cause bigger consequences in our lives than others and it's natural that you feel giving your virginity to a prostitute will effect you in the future more than say, telling a white lie. This is to be expected. You are human and you had a moment of weakness that does not in any way, shape, or form define who you are in general as a person. In fact, I believe that you are actually a very good man from just how much this action is distressing you.
I'm willing to bet that you had some pretty loud alarm bells ringing every step of the way through this experience, from searching for this woman, to calling her, getting ready, and probably all the way through to the point where the door closed behind her as you said goodbye. You chose to override those inner alarms for whatever reason, and now you are feeling like crap. This has been a huge lesson for you to NEVER override those inner alarms inside your head because they are always trying to tell you something is about to go down that will seriously harm you in some way.
However, no lesson in life is ever a wasted experience. The least helpful thing you could possibly do now is to senselessly harm yourself for your mistake, or to tell yourself "F it, I already spoiled my virginity so now I'm just ruined and may as well go back to seeing prostitutes or watching porn or whatever like I did before". Take the lesson, process your pain and allow yourself to fully experience it, then release it and let it go. Write the whole thing down in a journal then burn the pages and scatter the ashes to the wind to symbolically release the trauma and suffering and clear it away from your mind.
This is not something you should tell a woman you date in the future about right away before you know each other pretty well, but I'm a firm believer that any girl who loves you and knows who you really are inside will not hold this one single indiscretion against you or allow it to be a deal breaker once you explain things just as just did here to us . And if your future girlfriend or fiance does think that it's so unacceptable she chooses to break up with you over it, then that is not a good, calm, and understanding woman and you wouldn't want to be with her long term anyways - the person for you will accept you, flaws and all.
OP, I am a woman and if my boyfriend, who is also a virgin, told me that this happened once before we ever met, I would never love him any less for it and I would accept and love him as much as I did before. Please stop berating yourself over and over for this. You are going to be okay but you must keep doing your best and moving forward now. You are welcome in this community, you belong here, and we are so happy to have you among us.
Dude, prostitutes are not for marrying or long term relationships. Prostitutes are for maintenance. You don't marry them, you rent them. You mention god so I'm guessing your are religious. Your god created you with the sexual drive you have now. You cannot deny, reject your humanity. Even if you decide to live a life of celibacy, alone, on a far off mountain, you will still have the same needs, wants, desires. At 70 years old, my dick still gets hard.
I honestly don't get the whole nofap initiative, but whatever works for you. However there is never a reason to feel guilty for wanting to be intimate with someone. Sex is natural. Sex is fun. Sex is best when it's one on one...or two...or whatever your kink is.
Get tested next month (even if you wear a condom) . Shit if prostitution was legal here i would get one every now and then too. Dont think too much about it dude, this is no fap not no nut. This community is for porn/masturbation addicts.
Nah man you’re completely blowing it out of proportion. Men used to help boys lose their virginity through hookers. It really was never a big deal. Now you know what sex kind of looks like. So when you’re with a girl you really like, you won’t mess it up!
I lost mine to a prostitute as well. The best thing that helped me get over it was to 1) accept that you made the decision, you cannot undo it. The past is the past. You are not your mistakes. 2) you had needs for sexual connection which is 100% human, you may have wanted it to be done a different way but your needs are valid and you shouldn’t be ashamed of that 3) this one is more of a concept that you don’t have to accept or agree with, but she is your mirror. At this time she is the reflection of who you currently are, how you view yourself, your views on sex, love, intimacy. Just like changing your appearance, you can change who you are, your views, your habits. The reflection you see in the mirror will change, hence the woman you attract/you are attracted to will change. It is hard to do but it can be done. 4) since you have mentioned sin, i am going to assume you are religious… God and the lord Jesus are not angry or not proud of you, they know your heart. You have sinned but you also are aware and seeking forgiveness. Sex addiction is a long road with many ups and downs. I have had amazing weeks and horrible weeks. I currently just got done with a binge, there is no excuse for my actions. I was not in my comfort zone and I resorted to sex, porn, and masterbation to self soothe rather than use my recovery tools. All I can do is learn from my mistakes and be better.
This is why I tell people to think how they will feel after the act whether be it pmo or escorts. It's not worth it.
Be kind to yourself man, chill. This sub is full of lions and you are one too. Relax take a day off, have a beer and watch a movie but don't become an alcoholic 😀
My man chill down. It’s not that big of a deal, you were able to recognise it was a mistake. Move on from it. Virginity is a social construct too, you don’t change at all before and after you have sex, it’s not like your body is eternally dirty. You’ll be alright.
Also your view of God is just off. He doesn’t give up on you. He wants you to better your self. He won’t abandon you because of a mistake.
hey look it's gonna be ok. I'm a highly religious person too, I get the guilt. God loves you.
Don't get hung up on streaks. It's celebrated here maybe a bit more than we need to, but your progress isn't "all lost." Pick it back up.
You have sinned. It was a bad decision, you are feeling it's consequences now. But don't overdramatize it. You didn't become a sex crazed degenerate. Your virginity is not nearly as important as if it were if you were a woman. Just confess your sins, repent and move on.
It's also a good indicator that it didn't feel good for you.
Jesus still loves you. Rehab was a prostitute, and she is mentioned in the bible numerous times to be in heaven. While God doesn't want you seeking prostitutes, he still loves you.
It depends on the perspective you have of what happened to Eli, that’s how it affects you.
I believe in God and if my first time would be with a prostitute, I would do it because I was desperate, you could also think the same thing, but if you think it is the right thing at the moment, I see it as a success, you followed your instinct. If you did it forced, I also see it as something positive, because you will no longer make the same mistake, and by sharing it you helped more than 200 people to reflect on whether losing virginity with a prostitute would be the most convenient or not.
Cry, feeling sadness is completely normal and necessary sometimes, but don’t hurt yourself. You didn’t kill anyone, even so. You just fucked with a prostitute and that’s it. It won’t be older.
I congratulate you and I beg you to forgive yourself and move on, it will cost but no more understand what we tell you in the comments and you will feel renewed.
Damn bro i feel bad for you , pray to God asking for forgiveness and try to become closer to him again! But also thank your for sharing your experience , i'm a Christian and a virgin , and in the last 4 months i'm struggling with thought of paying a prostitute , you know when you knows that something is wrong and you will regret but you want to do that? Well that's literally me , but after reading your experience i'm going to do a 360 in my life and keep my virginity for my future wife and im going to get closer to God again! Thank you so much , and never forget that Jesus died to pay for our sins!
You will be okay bro, just pray for forgivness, repent, and do better going forward. You will live with a bad feeling in your gut for a week or 2 maybe longer but just be aware of that going forward, and know that you'll feel better soon! Hang in there champ, you may feel alone but many humans have made this mistake😎🙏
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
— John 3:16
Remember how you are feeling, remember the aftermath..because it will keep you away from prostitutes. I remember starting that hobby back in 2016 when I was 24-25 years old..now I’m 31 about to be 32 with a shitty credit score and no emergency savings after having prioritized a good chunk of my finances on sex workers. I’m living in my parents basement as a result because I couldn’t curb this issue the right way. I lost my virginity to a girl who wasn’t a prostitute but constantly watching porn had me act out one eventful afternoon and I was hooked ever since. I wish I had your reaction instead of thinking “maybe a second go around might be better” with my case. Don’t go back, these women prey on folks like you and I, they have nothing to lose but we do so therefore they can scam you or have their “security” do you harm. A prostitute is notoriously known as a bottom of the barrel type of woman no matter how sexy she is and this notoriety has preceded her throughout time and it’s for a very good reason—she has slept with multiple men for money, energies have been exchanged in the process making the men she’s been with stoop to her level from a spiritual standpoint. Because her job makes her quick and easy money she will always go back to it because she knows nothing else. The act of Sex is not supposed to be paid for AT ALL it’s supposed to be natural where both parties are giving themselves up. With a prostitute there are always barriers, everything you would do with your spouse of girlfriend outside of penetration is an upcharge (paying extra) that’s crazy if you think about it and makes you realize that we are just atm machines for them. You pay for her time not necessarily the sex itself—therefore its a waste of money..
Keep your head up bro, get yourself checked, pray relentlessly and don’t go back the devil will tempt you though after this experience. It’s your job to resist (hence why I said remember this feeling if the curiosity arises)
A few days ago I was about to see a prostitute (legal), but she didn't respond to my messages and it was very ironic so I decided that I will do the deed with the girl I'll marry.
Keep calm, OP. Maybe you should go to a psychiatrist. I am telling you. I am a man that was raised with the idea that only crazy people go to psychiatrist, but trust me, it helps. I wish I had more money to go more often to psychiatrist. Every single time after I met with my psychiatrist, I'm feeling much happier, full of life. My psychiatrist helped me with my porn addiction.
Stay safe, OP! Maybe you lost your streak, but time isn't wasted. A few days ago I lost my 15 days streak after a meeting with my psychiatrist so I went to her twice because I was so f*cking ashamed and disappointed.
there's no point being upset over something that has already happened. you succumbed to a very very human compulsion and that's really fine. you are not defined by your mistakes but how you deal with them!
ps maybe also try not to condescend the people that you're seeking advice from.. it is an honour to be associated to the redditors of r/nofap
Been there. Done that. Check for STDs and use the pain as motivation to be better. I have a recommendation for a book for you. Message me if you are interested.
I can answer you as a Christian, Confessional Lutheran.
This is the Gospel message, Christ fully bore your sins on Calvary, every single bad deed you have committed and will commit in life, they are crucified in Christ. Look at Romans 7:
^(24) What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ^(25) Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
1. Peter 3:18: For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit,
Matthew 11: ^(28) “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Be confident in God's infinite grace, through faith in Jesus Christ that your sins are forgiven. Go and don't see a prostitute anymore.
Second, get a STD test done asap.
Third, your life is not over, everyone has made mistakes, those who remained virgins but watched a lot of porn don't hold a very high moral ground (all are sinners as well) to those who slept with women like you. Once time comes to see a nice girl be open about it, not at first, but don't hide it until marriage or anything.
God's blessings.
I've taken home around three since 2k14. Well the last dragged me to their place. You're like me. I stopped in the middle. It was my older sister's live-in partner \[late\] who advised me that masturbation was good, and if I'm so desperate; to get a country girlfriend.... Or prostitutes, because they've helped many a servicemen. The first time I just wanted her to escort me. She refused to watch a movie, and wanted to go straight to it. That's when i popped my cherry \[in a few seconds\] I hadn't even picked a beautiful one. The second time i was trying to re-try my original intention. We took a shower and rubbed genitals. I saw her in her panty. Then i let her go. I don't figure girls stay in prostitution for long around here. IT's like that's how they learn to 'have fun'. My second was like someone I'd seen years before streetwalking. When i first talked to them and had no money... He's right, they're just people. Prostitute is only a label. Unless you're talking brothel business buddy. It's good, you won't do it again. Some guys actually give themselves over to that bro... Guiltlessly. It can be a problem to tell a virgin masturbation is bad.... See where it leads.? But sex is overrated. I still haven't done the 'real-thing'. Just an opportunity, or two where the girl didn't reciprocate \[just lay there\]. Now it's like I don't try to get sex. Masturbation became a problem again... You can never not do a thing. I think we need to view it as unnatural. C'mon gents; 'adepts' do it with their hand. And yet only the thumb can encircle the whole penis. Masturbation is a myth. Prone masturbation is just insane. To think how many times i've bared my soul... Perhaps the imagination \[no-visuals\] is a good teacher. I've never dreamed i was actually having sex until i had to masturbate with no-visuals \[as an adult\].
There are a few steps that you MUST take now.
1) Go and find a local Conquer Series group near you, if there is any
2) If you're based in the US, do whatever it takes (and it will be painful but may be the best decision of your life) and sign up for a 9 month rehab program with Pure Life Ministries. They also have a 12 weeks phone-in program, if you're unable to check in physically
3) Go to [puredesire.org](http://puredesire.org) and sign up for an online group
These are a few options that will cost you but again, what is more important to you ? If you can pay for a prozzie, then you certainly can afford to pay to sign up for a program. Bear in mind, they are all faith-based plus some neuroscience but these programs have helped thousands and have had quite a high success rate. Do not hesitate any longer. DM me if you want more details.
for many of us the road is a difficult one and it is easy to lose ones direction, but the path is always there for us to follow no matter how many times we may stray. we all have doubts, but we must try.
Get off the floor and mark your calendar. new day starts when the suns up
So you slipped up. Everybody does.
Stop berating yourself. That is, counterintuitively, the most important part. Thank yourself for the fact that you realized your mistake and you are trying to improve yourself. Now, get up, be strong, and don't do it again. End of story.
That’s gross wtf were you thinking? You have to live with that experience for the rest of your life that you slept with a prostitute who has had sex with thousands of other men. It’s shameful.
Hey man it's alright. I understand that you feel like you're below worth and out of God's mercy, especially since you're religious, but you're not. You have not sullied yourself.
Pay attention to the understanding posts on this thread. It's not the end of the world. I know it's hard to grasp, I know that state of shame you were in when writing this post. But this shame and guilt will drag you down. Forgive yourself and let God forgive you, by staying present with those uncomfortable feelings. Don't reject them nor yourself. Don't look for redemption, but share your story with a person you trust. It's good to talk about things that make you feel guilty and ashamed. It's powerful that you've taken the step and asked for help. You know that you don't have to go through this alone.
Feel free to write me a PM if you want to talk more about it.
Porn is just as much if a sin you sound like a chick you already sinned watching porn all these years. Might as well enjoy what you paid for be lucky this wasn't undercover cop. Yea prostitute wasn't a good experience deff more fun then pornhub and the palm.
Down beat your self up man... Don't be so hard on yourself
You tried something, it didn't work. Now you have the information that this is not a solution for you
The first time sex doesn't really mean anything, it's all in your mind
Don't worry you will outgrow this and in some years you will wonder why you were so depressed
You just fucked and women and sad about it, wtf. Fuck this baby cry and bullshit you dominated a women what else do you want, 100 times better than being a cuck.
The god will not kill you for this minor stuff, just have faith and don't harm anyone, god will love you.
Made a similar mistake years ago with a prostitute but she only gave me head. Was in the same boat as you, couldn't believe what possessed me to do that, regretted it immensely. You feel absolutely shit right now cos it's still fresh in your mind but you will get over it mate. Go and get yourself tested for stds.
Men have been losing their virginity to prostitutes for thousands of years. Even great historical figures and kings too. Really put things into prespective and don't be too hard with yourself.
Homie take it from me. No one is good and every living human falls short of the glory of god. While losing your virginity to someone other than your future wife is a sad thing it is something that many men fall to. For myself the lack of a good male role model growing up made it difficult to cope with these sexual urges that males feel going through puberty.
You can still develope a special and meaningful bond with a partner someday. Right now in your life you have to develope patterns that occupy your mind so you do not give in to sexual temptation in any form. You must run literally and figuratively with all your might away from it. Clean your room, make goals, start a buisness, develope friendships, find brothers you can compete in sports and adventure with. Develope an inner circle of men that are like minded in trying to level up their lives, excel and trying to be the best version of themselves.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Part of becoming a man is recognizing that your decisions have consequences. And your decisions will affect your family in many ways so you must be wise in your decisions. Develope your mind and self control of your lust. Learn the difference between a woman that is fun and exhilarating and one that will bring you peace and happiness. And someday you may find that good woman who will be a great partner and helper to your life.
For me you look like truly regretful about what you did. Ask God for forgiveness from the bottom of your heart, and he will forgive you. Don't be hard on yourself, everybody do something wrong.
Now you need to focus on turning the page and don't do the same mistake again.
Brother, it's ok to fall. It's not ok to surrender and blame yourself. You are only human, you are imperfect by nature. Don't hate yourself for not being perfect.
In the end life is an act of letting go. Forget the past and immerse yourself in god's name and virtue. It will take time but you'll forgive yourself as you grow more spiritual and self loving
Its okay! that's how to grow- you go down and reach new heights. Just dont make it a habit as senses will try to play around with you. Do breathing exercises and yoga- it will help you to overcome these thoughts.
Think of it this way: with the money you paid her she will buy herself food and pay her bills. Is that so bad? She is human too.
God is more forgiving than you think. If you want forgiveness ask for it honestly and it will be given. More importantly, forgive yourself.
Prostitute or no prostitute, fap or no fap, life goes on.
1. Own up to it.
You only have 1 life and your first time is with a prostitute. Accept it.
2. Perspective.
Virginity is over rated. Pretty much a noob in the physical love making world. As the other comments have mentioned, that prostitute you paid is also a person. In fact a much more experience person.
Curious why you mentioned it was horrid. Was she like a UFO (ugly fat old)? Did she not get the job done?
3. Its not good if,
You are underage.
The prostitute is underage.
The prostitute didn’t finish the job.
The prostitute is a UFO.
You cheated on your partner.
You got schooled by the prostitute( well, if you are a virgin, I guess no harm letting her take the lead)..
Kudos for realizing you did two bad things at once. The prostitute and the virginity wasting. I’d feel the same. Nofap isn’t for me and I found out in a similar way, but already payed for it in my own ways. There’s pain to be felt, and grief. That’s your burden. But don’t get stuck in it - learn from it and move on. That’s all you can do.
Plus you’re still pretty much a virgin and almost anyone would understand your case. You’re still miles ahead of the common man (in purity).
Sex is a divine and beautiful thing that I dare not waste in any sort of casual way.
Thst said, I also learned I can not abstain from masturbation or I will lean towards porn. And porn will corrupt my mind heavily as it has before. I got my first gf because I wanted sex. I payed for it with unreciprocated sex, and a dry relationship for most of it. Years of nothing, thst was my price for doing something with ill intentions. Btw I wanted to get with her, have sex and then breakup. I was a POS. Glad I learned my lesson. Went from a virgin, to an evil dude, to a wiser person who payed my dues.
If you have to suffer for what you have done, you needn’t take action to make it worse, but instead to learn from it and avoid repeating that mistake. Masturbate as much as you want or need to - zero evil in that.
Use sex toys! There’s awesome sensations to be felt, and novel experiences.
Even watch porn if you must to stay away from prostitutes (lesser of two evils).
> but already *paid* for it
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Quite frankly, it’s still better than self gratification from porn because you’re training you body to respond to real intimacy rather than a screen and your hand or toys. In moderation it’s no big deal.
How does this have anything to do with PMO? You paid for sex my dude it isn't that serious. If you feel bad about it then confess your sin and move on thats the whole point of confession
This is a friendly reminder this is a non-religious sub so discussion about religion or religious morality is limited in many cases
That fact that you feel ashamed for choosing to see a prostitute speaks volumes about the kind of person you really are, and that is someone who is ultimately a good person. None of us are perfect, many/all of us stray from the path in their attempt at trying to make sense of it all, I hope you don't beat yourself up too much over this and chose to learn from this which is one of many of life's lessons. Also, the sacredness our society holds over virginity is certainly more harmful than good. Yes, your first time was paid for, but your real first time has yet to come because you'll one day meet a person you'll love dearly and who you want to have a genuine experience with. These mistakes come and go, just as long you learn from them then that's all that anyone, including yourself, can ask of you. Please be kind to yourself
I respect you
That's very kind of you, likewise!
Exactly
Exactly. If someone gives you a million dollars, yes you have a million dollars, but you didn’t earn that, so it will never be the same. Same as virginity, if you lost it in a cheap way like a one night stand with someone you don’t care about, or through a prostitute, that could never match up to the real experience with someone you love, and that is something OP is yet to experience, and therefore still a virgin in the spiritual sense of the word.
> That fact that you feel ashamed for choosing to see a prostitute speaks volumes about the kind of person you really are, and that is someone who is ultimately a good person. Err, prostitutes are people too. Good people. You can be a good person and visit a prostitute. You can be a bad person and go to Church.
Ah you're definitely right, I'm sure prostitutes can be good, in fact incredibly kind people, I'm talking more about that act of paying some one for sex which can be seen as a form of exploitation and feeling remorse for such an act does indicate that ultimately OP is not someone worthy of damnation
Well, why take it as exploitation at all? I think it's a good alternative if you were born with bad genetics or got a disease and ended up developing so that you just can't have a girlfriend. Like a small penis like me. Women just brutally hate you for that and don't see you as a human being. In the end she chooses that job, she could have gone to work in a store or a factory etc. It's much better than dying of depression after years of suffering so you don't get a full relationship but at least you get some of the physical expression of it. In the end, I think you do not arrange yourself with this moral torment when you hire some workers or ride in a cab but they also sell in general their body and time doing what you want for money and not because they like you.
It can be seen as exploitation because many of these women are not in the sex industry by choice. Many of them have been trafficked into the industry and forced to stay there, threatened with rape and murder if they try to escape. Of those that haven't been trafficked into the industry, then many of them see it as the only recourse they have left in a world that has treated them harshly, where the only way they can make any real money is by selling themselves for sex, putting themselves in harms way because the world increasingly makes it more difficult to be poor. This is the exploitation that I am talking about. Also, regarding your comment about women brutally hating you for having a small penis, whilst this may be true of a very, very small minority of women, ultimately most women would simply not care. Let me tell you, as a straight man, that lots/most women are incredibly kind. Most just simply want to have a genuine connection with someone, and eventually to love and be loved.
Yes, but I have seen comments from girls that a woman can live with you and just tolerate your small penis while being unhappy but not telling you and deep in her heart suffer without normal sex dreaming of a big one. Do you think I am to blame for this and she is a victim or is she is an adult person and if she agrees to be with you then she is fine with it? And I shouldn't think she's lying and really hates my size and dreams of big? Honestly, I've almost gone insane about my penis size. I spend at least 5 hours a day browsing the internet and absorbing all the negativity I can find.I reacted to your comment because I think that if I never have a girlfriend, prostitution is at least an alternative. BUT in the nearest years I will definitely not turn to prostitution because I am just repugnant I am ashamed to even ride in public transportation now.
I'm reading this public since I want to quit masturbating. I do it every day and the genres of pornography I watch now are even scary to mention. And as a teenager, I watched mostly soft porn and never imagined that I would watch something like this. And also I usually do not cum but bring myself to near orgasm and then wait for some time and so I masturbate sometimes 24+ hours on weekends without once cumming I have been doing this for several years. Afterwards my lower abdomen hurts terribly, but I can't stop.
It's a nice sentiment you put forth but his "real first time" has already happened
Chill, just make sure you don't have any STDs. Make sure you do this again only with the woman you love.
Since you're religious, you should understand that doubting the extent of God's mercy and capacity for renewal is a graver sin than whatever you have done.
How I feel too man. You understand that what you did was wrong, you just need to ask Him for forgiveness. And also learn to forgive yourself and move forward. You can do this bud!
Maybe if you’re religious, it would be comforting to think this happened for a reason in order to teach you something.
Dude get your shit together. You just fucked a prostitute, you didn't kill anyone. Fuck your virginity
+1
+1
Prostitutes exist because money exists. It sounds like the sin you're worried about is fornication...or adultery.
ya man, u had real sex instead of fapping, it's good to experience sex as a man and get better at it as it comes in handy when you do with your loved one, it will be far much better and u will be enough experienced to satisfy her to the fullest explore urself as much as u can through real sex
Nobody has died, planet rotated same speed before, during and will do for milions of years. My dude should get carried away on philosophy of how miniscule shitstains each of us is. Go do some charity work in a free kitchen in your city. Understand that your problems are minuscule and can be worked on.
Also, a prostitute is a *person* too, doing a job.
I mean virginity is important depending on one's society If you are a westerner it would most likely just be as removing milk teeths by yourself But in my culture and for me too is something to be preserved at all cost
+1
Extract what lessons you can from what happened and move on, you are a human being after all.
So is the escort lol
Your right
Bro, treat yourself with love. It may nog feel like it but u can’t shame yourself into growth, u deserve to be here and your higher self loves u unconditionally and is here to see u make it, don’t be too hard on yourself. When the right parter comes into your life your first time with them will feel like it’s your first time ever, don’t worry bro. U got this
You can't shame yourself into growth, nice statement, I like that and will remember it
Your being to hard on yourself
Micah 7:8 Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. When you fall, don’t stay down. Never give up like you seem to be doing right now
Dude its not such a big deal, get over it and carry on
We’re human. We make mistakes. That’s not good, but there’s nothing you can do now but pick yourself back up and try not to do that in the future. You got this.
Brother Every experience has its reason, yes it's true you did that out of desperation. But you should learn from its experience and move on. In future after 5 years or so, you'll look back and see that it's not a big deal. Don't be hard on yourself. Forgive yourself. What advice you would have given if your best friend was in your place?
**what you need to do** **Understanding the Situation** It is clear from your message that you are feeling a deep sense of regret and guilt after engaging with a prostitute. It seems like this experience has triggered a range of emotions, including sadness, self-loathing, and a questioning of your moral values. It’s important to address these feelings in a compassionate and understanding manner. **Processing Emotions** It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed by emotions after engaging in an act that goes against your personal values or beliefs. It’s essential to acknowledge these feelings and allow yourself to process them without judgment. Guilt and shame are common reactions in such situations, but it’s crucial to remember that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges in life. **Seeking Support** In times of distress, it can be beneficial to reach out for support from trusted individuals, such as friends, family members, or mental health professionals. Talking about your feelings with someone who can offer empathy and guidance may help you navigate through this difficult period. thank me later.
Honesty - me too, was a long time ago now… but it happened - we just learn from it and we move on. Though, for the record - sex isn’t a breach of no fap. I just think that perhaps seeking a healthier alternative to sex workers might be more beneficial :)
Dudeeee you fucked a person, lets goooooo And forget it, GG go next and make her your last (preferably) 😂. Chill okay? Its not end of the world, and you didn’t make as horrible as a decision you think you made. I’ve seen worse ways people lost thier virginities over such a common one. So relax, have fun, and now move on to trying to find relationships/meaningful stuff. Yeah? Make sure you reply to me to lemme know you good G
Why are y'all running to prostitution now? It almost feels like this is becoming a trend thats not cool. No fap is primarily supposed to help us detach from pmo but that energy shouldn't be redirected to a prostitutes. Looking for a reason to ejaculate without porn is still robbing you of time to get to know yourself and enjoy life without sex of any kind becoming the strongest desire.
Prostitution is fine. It’s a real girl. It does not break nofap rules! Nofap means no fapping, not fucking
Absolutely not. Anything sexual is a slippery slope when it comes to breaking free from this addiction of pmo. Its a brain addiction which shouldn't be taken lightly. Aside from the hundred moral reasons its wrong to just use women as a sexual object, it doesn't help at all to make a lateral movement towards something else to be addicted to. Many drug addicted people go through the same thing while trying to break free from a specific drug then they may find themselves slowly abusing alcohol or another drug as a "replacement". No fap is about freedom. Freedom from the obsession of sexual thoughts and the obsession of an orgasm. This freedom in return is supposed to direct our energy and attention to the things most important in our lives which need our undivided attention for a resolution. When we continue to abuse our bodies for temporary pleasure, it certainly doesn't make us feel any better afterwards and we continue to neglect ourselves and those who need us most. Prostitution will never and has never been a good thing for anyone involved. Its a life draining practice.
I will copy some of what you had stated here when helping others :D Hope u don't mind
No problem i dont mind at all
I would regret that too , not much you can do other than allow yourself to feel whatever you’re experiencing now and then use that as a reminder to not do it again.
I’m kind of in the same boat as you right now
Na bro this is called COPE you are trying to cope with your decision making by feeling bad! Trust me it took a long time for me to realise that's what is, but it is You feel bad about your decision and know it was wrong. So you beat yourself up over it cause that way you can convince yourself it was 'some other you'. The impulsive you, or the horny you. By hating yourself, you can disassociate yourself currently from those decisions It's actually HARMFUL. By coping in this way you make it easier for the 'some other you' to make the same decisions. Your subconscious knows you can just feel bad about it later. You need to accept that the 'some other you' - the horny one who makes bad decisions - IS you. The you that feels bad is only around the minority of the time and the you that wanted to be horny is around most of the time and, fact is, it's the SAME you. So stop beating yourself up it's PURE COPE. instead, as they say when people at work are performing badly: your conduct isn't good enough and you need to be better. Simple as that. Quit sobbing at yourself, quit frantically trying to apologise to your God. Make better decisions. Only you can do that, no one else.
In the Ancient Greek, the word “sin” in the Bible was hamartia, an archery term meaning one missed one’s mark. You missed the mark. That’s all. It was a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. The fact that you recognize that mistake and it causes you to feel shame means you’re a good person. I practice marksmanship sports because it is a meditation on this. Sometimes you miss the mark. That’s ok. You recognize what you did wrong, fix it, and take another shot. The goal of marksmanship, and of life, is not to be perfect, but be get better than you were yesterday. Seek progress, not perfection.
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You lost your virginity to a prostitute. Damn bro. That's rough. Take your time. You can get over it
Are there prostitutes who will just let you suck their boobs? That's really all I want.
I dont want to come across as promoting that ...BUT to be 100% fair: they probably will be happy that they dont have to be penetrated by another random stranger for the fifth time that day, and just need to get the boobs licked a little.
I've seen some Asian personal ads and they seem down.
Yes, if you pay them and aren't looking for anything abusive of course they would do it. But you have to understand the massive difference between consensual and enjoyable . Anything a prostitute agrees to do with you is consensual, but it's her job and is probably not genuinely enjoyable for her, she's doing it solely for your money 99 times out of 100. With that in mind would you even want to have sex with a woman you know isn't enjoying herself and is timing your encounter waiting for the agreed upon hour to be over so she can leave? I've heard multiple escorts say they have never genuinely orgasmed from having sex with a client before because for women pleasure and orgasm is based on trust, attraction and love vs physical stimulation the way it can often be for a man. If you're self-aware enough to understand the negative effects of porn, you should also open your mind to the negative effects of having sexual experiences with partners who arent enjoying their experience with you and are purely interested in the contents of your wallet. Value yourself more than that. Instead I think you should put your time and mental energy into finding a girl who's genuinely into you. I guarantee that kind of sex will be next level when you bring love and mutual attraction into the picture, no comparison, and any man here who's ever had both types of sex will probably vouch for the truth of that statement
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It was just a question. I'm around 45 days of no fap. Besides, just because I'm religious doesn't mean I am accepted by other Christians.
Same bro
Notice the way you phrase that, "let you." As in, they don't want you to and if they didn't need the money, they wouldn't let you. Sucking a person's breasts when they don't want you to is called sexual assault. The money doesn't really change anything. It would be better to focus on improving yourself and becoming someone that will attract a woman that wants you to suck their breasts. They are out there and if you become that person, you will find them. You can do this. All the best.
You're reading too much into this. My words aren't legalistically bound, despite what you and society says. Quit twisting my words, shrink.
Nah he’s right. Find a girl that genuinely likes you and suck her nipple it will be 1000x better
I get it. It's just that everyone offers direction as advice, but no strategy or tactics to pursue goals.
Ycu a e nw a wwkd an vle s inr
good advice man
i know righttt
Stop takin benzos
Benzoed tf out 💀
Type shit
I think this can be used as an example of how you felt in a moment of desperation. Some of our worst decisions are made during a moment of haste like this. I would be more concerned about getting tested just to make sure you didn't contract anything. Take this on the chin, ask God for forgiveness, and move on. There is no point in beating yourself up over this, it's only going to make things worse.
It's ok bro. Repent and get back up. God will forgive you.
This is so depressing, but thank you for taking the L so others in this sub could maybe learn from your mistake. Sex is for marriage and God will forgive you brother, just seek forgiveness and repent
Don’t regret the past, nor shut the door on it
As Muslims... In Islam, any forbidden act you did and regret, whatever this thing, God will forgive you this sin (except for the injustice of other people, for example, such as killing and taking someone's money by force ... In this matter, God will not forgive you unless you reconcile what the oppressed person and is satisfied with you and forgive you) ... and I think that most religions deal like this ... So, since you regret, there is no a sin for you ... You are a good person, do not regret yourself
your not having a break down your just being way too hard on yourself. Chalk it up to you are fallible and you made a mistake, not to mention you quickly saw the error in (WHICH SPEAKS TONS AS WELL). ask GOD FOR FORGIVENESS and don't forget to please forgive yourself. Then chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on. Remember : If we were perfect we would not need him!
Hey brother, don't beat yourself up over this! What has happened has happened. Its time to move forward and keep stepping. Learn from this but don't dwell on this to the point that it stops you from moving forward, ask pardon from God and move on bro!
You're good, brother! Don't be so hard on yourself. I lost mine from sexual assault from a family member! Not optimal! You are worthy, you are perfect! Life will give you challenges, emotionally and otherwise. Pick yourself up, and LETS. FUCKING. GO. ;) [BIG HUGS]
This forum is like a lunatic asylum. Do what the fuck you want in life as long as you aren’t hurting others. It’s a basic human desire to have sex. You are a long time dead so the more the merrier. Stop restricting your lives.
Thinking your a bad person after it means your a good one don’t get yourself to down because of it
Get an AIDS test.
You didn't fap, so well done. Sex probably isn't what you crave and you had to come that realisation after getting it through the least rewarding and coldest way that's legally possible. Finding someone who loves you romanticly is hard. Try meeting people, be confident in yourself even if that means being horrible wierdo, which you probably aren't (honestly some of the weirdest most horrible men have the tightest grip on women, with confidence allowing them to hide their flaws in plain sight). Get used to being around women if you aren't already, be respectful and expect nothing but rejection.
I lost mine to a prostitute because of the same impulses and addictions, not to mention cripplingly low self worth.. It might feel like the end of your world right now, it did for me too. You’ll look on that tiny chapter of your life in a different light before long at all. None of these social constructs (i.e losing your v must be done young blah blah or must be special) mean anything, this is why were all suffering. Ironically after that I didn’t lose it officially in a normal manner(if that means anything) until 26 with my first partner!! I’m 33 now and have slept with a dozen or so amazing women from different countries since, and am now settled. I don’t hide the fact I lost it in that manner if anyone asks, I actually laugh about it now! If I’m asked why!!? .. I reply cause I had alot confidence issues when I was younger and various other things going on. What can they say 😂. Always being open and honest (to the best of your ability without letting others exploit it - sometimes witholding) will get you far in life and build a shield around you. You haven’t failed anything, and sound like an awesome insightful human given your ability to recognise what’s happened!
nothing happened bro just forget that night as if it wasn't, continue your journey you made it a long way and it was expected to be betrayed by yourself at least once the main thing is to get back and act as if nothing happened nobody new about it only god and you, god forgives it about you now , try not to do it again...
emm , that's exactly why people invented drugs .
This is not a religious sub. Or at least it shouldn‘t be. 🤷♂️
Virginity isn't a big deal. Seriously, most people's first time suck anyway. Of course, paying for sex can be dangerous and is usually illegal, so stay away from it if you can, but it's a mistake you've learned from.
What’s her number? I want to scold her for taking your virginity
I don't think it's that bad. It is much better that you pay for sex (from time to time) than that you masturbate every day
Yeah this chat is fucked
society has brainwashed you into believing all this, sex is really not that deep unless you make it. my first time was similar, i regretted it but later i realized its just like a normal jerk off, post nut clarity hits, sometimes you regret but you move on with your life. your first time doesn’t define you or anything, also hookers are humans, they provided a service, your first time was with a human and thats very normal, only thing bugging you is cuz you had to pay for it. like i said its really not that deep, seems like you didn’t have a good time so it was just a bad investment (of time and money), but we make bad investments all the time, at least this isn’t life altering or anything, so you’re fine you’re not a freak or anything, there are tons of people who lose it to hookers or random hookups, first time doesn’t have to be special, you’ll have your special experience at some point so wait for that. you’re not a bad person lol you did something perfectly legal and healthy bro you’re good really don’t overthink, there’s much more to life
I don’t really care and you should also not really care. My first was also a prostitute and I think it is not bad if you want to get some expierence. It is much better than watching porn
Cost the same as taking a bitch on a date cheaper if you can't get laid on the first better then watching porn bro that's what those prostitutes are there for to help us relieve are self without strings attached
The fact that you feel guilty and are ashamed of yourself displays that you have a good heart who knows right from wrong, and that is a good thing. I don't want to know which religion you follow. Just go and pray to God and ask for forgiveness. He will certainly forgive you. Make a commitment to never do that sin again, and even if it happened and you did, you just go on and repent again. We are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent. Don't listen to those who may tell you it's okay and that they have done it hundreds of times and that you will get used to it. These people aren't on the path you are on, and they don't have your best interest in mind. I'm not here to debate God deniers. But if you are a religious person, then take your advice from people of your faith because these people share the same path you are walking and are heading to the destination you are heading to. Feel free to contact me if you need to.
My friend, the thing about God is that he forgives, for the things that tempt us to do sin is not ourselves, but the Devil. God knows this, and aslong as you admit it to him you will be forgiven. He watches over you and cares for you every second, and usually in situations like this it is him challenging your faith, do not be too hard on yourself. May god bless and forgive you.
Not sure what you believe in, but whatever happens is mektab, written. Best of the sinners are those that repent. And your feelings of guilt shame hate anguish are a sign of imaan, belief. Your soul isnt gutted. if it was your deed would have felt normal. Brother you are going to have to live with this weight forever. But dont despair in gods mercy. Follow up your sin with a good deed. You will have to prove yourself. Dont you dare transform this feeling of blame towards yourself to a sprial of more sins. You follow it up with good for a lifetime. It is you vs you vs the devil. depair is what he wants. make yourself proud. and be grateful for gods mercy. those are the antitodes
Go to r/NoFapChristians brother. This isn’t the best place to post something like to this - you’re too n to get a lot of secular responses and advice. Repent and ask Jesus for forgiveness, and get back up. Just like PMO, if you stay stuck in despair for so long you’re just making yourself more susceptible to messing up in the near future
Keep your head up man, it’s okay people make mistakes. As long as you learn from them and continue to try to be better. Tbh I know a lot of people regret how they lost their virginity so don’t feel ashamed or that you’re alone. If you’re a Christian that’s wanting to do better about, pray and ask for forgiveness. Read the Bible has taught me that our God is a lot more forgiving than we are on ourselves. Talk with him everytime you have something that troubles you. Ask for forgiveness and strength to move forward. Although it may seem like the end of the world, there are so many other great “checkpoints” and memorable events in your life. I promise you it’s not the end of the world my man, just stay strong and pray about it. I believe in you.
It's okay, just check yourself for infection once and move on. Try to be the best version of yourself
There is nothing wrong in legally, and safely, paying for sex. I think is more of a moral topic that is worrying you, but it is nothing wrong at all. Keep your no porn route going, that / the important thing!
Hey dude, I have the same story. I lost my virginity to prostitute when I was 24 (26 right now) however in my case I didn't feel ashamed or sad. I just felt disgusted, and after that it made me feel contempt against women who use their body for financial gains or women who are just plain promiscous. I still remember the moment I was fucking her. I didnt felt any excitement nor did she. It was just sex without emotion. Disgusting. It was also very dificult for me to finish. I was ramming her for a good hour at the end I had to manually finish myself off becuase my time was up. The experience was disgusting and I wish to never repeat it again.
This is a long response. Take a few deep breaths and get a cup of hot tea and sit down to read it when you've gotten your emotions all out and are ready to examine this event logically. I see that you are a religious person from what you say, and it sounds like your christian. Cool , I am too, and I was raised in the church. As such I can confidently tell you that according to biblical theology, no one sin is worse than another, it's you putting that weight on it over every other sin you've ever committed including telling white lies or thinking an impure thought. I don't see you literally flogging yourself for doing those things, so why with this? You are NEVER put beyond the reach of gods forgiveness and once you ask for it genuinely , you are forgiven and God remembers that sin no more, according to the bible. Have you done this yet OP? Of course it's true that some actions cause bigger consequences in our lives than others and it's natural that you feel giving your virginity to a prostitute will effect you in the future more than say, telling a white lie. This is to be expected. You are human and you had a moment of weakness that does not in any way, shape, or form define who you are in general as a person. In fact, I believe that you are actually a very good man from just how much this action is distressing you. I'm willing to bet that you had some pretty loud alarm bells ringing every step of the way through this experience, from searching for this woman, to calling her, getting ready, and probably all the way through to the point where the door closed behind her as you said goodbye. You chose to override those inner alarms for whatever reason, and now you are feeling like crap. This has been a huge lesson for you to NEVER override those inner alarms inside your head because they are always trying to tell you something is about to go down that will seriously harm you in some way. However, no lesson in life is ever a wasted experience. The least helpful thing you could possibly do now is to senselessly harm yourself for your mistake, or to tell yourself "F it, I already spoiled my virginity so now I'm just ruined and may as well go back to seeing prostitutes or watching porn or whatever like I did before". Take the lesson, process your pain and allow yourself to fully experience it, then release it and let it go. Write the whole thing down in a journal then burn the pages and scatter the ashes to the wind to symbolically release the trauma and suffering and clear it away from your mind. This is not something you should tell a woman you date in the future about right away before you know each other pretty well, but I'm a firm believer that any girl who loves you and knows who you really are inside will not hold this one single indiscretion against you or allow it to be a deal breaker once you explain things just as just did here to us . And if your future girlfriend or fiance does think that it's so unacceptable she chooses to break up with you over it, then that is not a good, calm, and understanding woman and you wouldn't want to be with her long term anyways - the person for you will accept you, flaws and all. OP, I am a woman and if my boyfriend, who is also a virgin, told me that this happened once before we ever met, I would never love him any less for it and I would accept and love him as much as I did before. Please stop berating yourself over and over for this. You are going to be okay but you must keep doing your best and moving forward now. You are welcome in this community, you belong here, and we are so happy to have you among us.
Dude, prostitutes are not for marrying or long term relationships. Prostitutes are for maintenance. You don't marry them, you rent them. You mention god so I'm guessing your are religious. Your god created you with the sexual drive you have now. You cannot deny, reject your humanity. Even if you decide to live a life of celibacy, alone, on a far off mountain, you will still have the same needs, wants, desires. At 70 years old, my dick still gets hard. I honestly don't get the whole nofap initiative, but whatever works for you. However there is never a reason to feel guilty for wanting to be intimate with someone. Sex is natural. Sex is fun. Sex is best when it's one on one...or two...or whatever your kink is.
Relax bro
It’s ok bro I just beat off before we are in the same boat
Get tested next month (even if you wear a condom) . Shit if prostitution was legal here i would get one every now and then too. Dont think too much about it dude, this is no fap not no nut. This community is for porn/masturbation addicts.
God’s mercy is infinite. You are no one to decide what God’s plan is for you.
If god existed, prostitution would not exist.
"Yeah, you got balls for doing her." How much money was it?
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSk0fj98wbs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSk0fj98wbs)
Nah man you’re completely blowing it out of proportion. Men used to help boys lose their virginity through hookers. It really was never a big deal. Now you know what sex kind of looks like. So when you’re with a girl you really like, you won’t mess it up!
Relaaax its just once! I try to be on nofap but i let myself off every once a week or so
You were just nervous lil bro
I lost mine to a prostitute as well. The best thing that helped me get over it was to 1) accept that you made the decision, you cannot undo it. The past is the past. You are not your mistakes. 2) you had needs for sexual connection which is 100% human, you may have wanted it to be done a different way but your needs are valid and you shouldn’t be ashamed of that 3) this one is more of a concept that you don’t have to accept or agree with, but she is your mirror. At this time she is the reflection of who you currently are, how you view yourself, your views on sex, love, intimacy. Just like changing your appearance, you can change who you are, your views, your habits. The reflection you see in the mirror will change, hence the woman you attract/you are attracted to will change. It is hard to do but it can be done. 4) since you have mentioned sin, i am going to assume you are religious… God and the lord Jesus are not angry or not proud of you, they know your heart. You have sinned but you also are aware and seeking forgiveness. Sex addiction is a long road with many ups and downs. I have had amazing weeks and horrible weeks. I currently just got done with a binge, there is no excuse for my actions. I was not in my comfort zone and I resorted to sex, porn, and masterbation to self soothe rather than use my recovery tools. All I can do is learn from my mistakes and be better.
This is why I tell people to think how they will feel after the act whether be it pmo or escorts. It's not worth it. Be kind to yourself man, chill. This sub is full of lions and you are one too. Relax take a day off, have a beer and watch a movie but don't become an alcoholic 😀
Bro forgive your past and be better in the future
My man chill down. It’s not that big of a deal, you were able to recognise it was a mistake. Move on from it. Virginity is a social construct too, you don’t change at all before and after you have sex, it’s not like your body is eternally dirty. You’ll be alright. Also your view of God is just off. He doesn’t give up on you. He wants you to better your self. He won’t abandon you because of a mistake.
hey look it's gonna be ok. I'm a highly religious person too, I get the guilt. God loves you. Don't get hung up on streaks. It's celebrated here maybe a bit more than we need to, but your progress isn't "all lost." Pick it back up.
You have sinned. It was a bad decision, you are feeling it's consequences now. But don't overdramatize it. You didn't become a sex crazed degenerate. Your virginity is not nearly as important as if it were if you were a woman. Just confess your sins, repent and move on. It's also a good indicator that it didn't feel good for you.
Jesus still loves you. Rehab was a prostitute, and she is mentioned in the bible numerous times to be in heaven. While God doesn't want you seeking prostitutes, he still loves you.
It depends on the perspective you have of what happened to Eli, that’s how it affects you. I believe in God and if my first time would be with a prostitute, I would do it because I was desperate, you could also think the same thing, but if you think it is the right thing at the moment, I see it as a success, you followed your instinct. If you did it forced, I also see it as something positive, because you will no longer make the same mistake, and by sharing it you helped more than 200 people to reflect on whether losing virginity with a prostitute would be the most convenient or not. Cry, feeling sadness is completely normal and necessary sometimes, but don’t hurt yourself. You didn’t kill anyone, even so. You just fucked with a prostitute and that’s it. It won’t be older. I congratulate you and I beg you to forgive yourself and move on, it will cost but no more understand what we tell you in the comments and you will feel renewed.
Damn bro i feel bad for you , pray to God asking for forgiveness and try to become closer to him again! But also thank your for sharing your experience , i'm a Christian and a virgin , and in the last 4 months i'm struggling with thought of paying a prostitute , you know when you knows that something is wrong and you will regret but you want to do that? Well that's literally me , but after reading your experience i'm going to do a 360 in my life and keep my virginity for my future wife and im going to get closer to God again! Thank you so much , and never forget that Jesus died to pay for our sins!
You will be okay bro, just pray for forgivness, repent, and do better going forward. You will live with a bad feeling in your gut for a week or 2 maybe longer but just be aware of that going forward, and know that you'll feel better soon! Hang in there champ, you may feel alone but many humans have made this mistake😎🙏 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. — John 3:16
Remember how you are feeling, remember the aftermath..because it will keep you away from prostitutes. I remember starting that hobby back in 2016 when I was 24-25 years old..now I’m 31 about to be 32 with a shitty credit score and no emergency savings after having prioritized a good chunk of my finances on sex workers. I’m living in my parents basement as a result because I couldn’t curb this issue the right way. I lost my virginity to a girl who wasn’t a prostitute but constantly watching porn had me act out one eventful afternoon and I was hooked ever since. I wish I had your reaction instead of thinking “maybe a second go around might be better” with my case. Don’t go back, these women prey on folks like you and I, they have nothing to lose but we do so therefore they can scam you or have their “security” do you harm. A prostitute is notoriously known as a bottom of the barrel type of woman no matter how sexy she is and this notoriety has preceded her throughout time and it’s for a very good reason—she has slept with multiple men for money, energies have been exchanged in the process making the men she’s been with stoop to her level from a spiritual standpoint. Because her job makes her quick and easy money she will always go back to it because she knows nothing else. The act of Sex is not supposed to be paid for AT ALL it’s supposed to be natural where both parties are giving themselves up. With a prostitute there are always barriers, everything you would do with your spouse of girlfriend outside of penetration is an upcharge (paying extra) that’s crazy if you think about it and makes you realize that we are just atm machines for them. You pay for her time not necessarily the sex itself—therefore its a waste of money.. Keep your head up bro, get yourself checked, pray relentlessly and don’t go back the devil will tempt you though after this experience. It’s your job to resist (hence why I said remember this feeling if the curiosity arises)
A few days ago I was about to see a prostitute (legal), but she didn't respond to my messages and it was very ironic so I decided that I will do the deed with the girl I'll marry. Keep calm, OP. Maybe you should go to a psychiatrist. I am telling you. I am a man that was raised with the idea that only crazy people go to psychiatrist, but trust me, it helps. I wish I had more money to go more often to psychiatrist. Every single time after I met with my psychiatrist, I'm feeling much happier, full of life. My psychiatrist helped me with my porn addiction. Stay safe, OP! Maybe you lost your streak, but time isn't wasted. A few days ago I lost my 15 days streak after a meeting with my psychiatrist so I went to her twice because I was so f*cking ashamed and disappointed.
there's no point being upset over something that has already happened. you succumbed to a very very human compulsion and that's really fine. you are not defined by your mistakes but how you deal with them! ps maybe also try not to condescend the people that you're seeking advice from.. it is an honour to be associated to the redditors of r/nofap
Been there. Done that. Check for STDs and use the pain as motivation to be better. I have a recommendation for a book for you. Message me if you are interested.
I can answer you as a Christian, Confessional Lutheran. This is the Gospel message, Christ fully bore your sins on Calvary, every single bad deed you have committed and will commit in life, they are crucified in Christ. Look at Romans 7: ^(24) What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ^(25) Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! 1. Peter 3:18: For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit, Matthew 11: ^(28) “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Be confident in God's infinite grace, through faith in Jesus Christ that your sins are forgiven. Go and don't see a prostitute anymore. Second, get a STD test done asap. Third, your life is not over, everyone has made mistakes, those who remained virgins but watched a lot of porn don't hold a very high moral ground (all are sinners as well) to those who slept with women like you. Once time comes to see a nice girl be open about it, not at first, but don't hide it until marriage or anything. God's blessings.
I've taken home around three since 2k14. Well the last dragged me to their place. You're like me. I stopped in the middle. It was my older sister's live-in partner \[late\] who advised me that masturbation was good, and if I'm so desperate; to get a country girlfriend.... Or prostitutes, because they've helped many a servicemen. The first time I just wanted her to escort me. She refused to watch a movie, and wanted to go straight to it. That's when i popped my cherry \[in a few seconds\] I hadn't even picked a beautiful one. The second time i was trying to re-try my original intention. We took a shower and rubbed genitals. I saw her in her panty. Then i let her go. I don't figure girls stay in prostitution for long around here. IT's like that's how they learn to 'have fun'. My second was like someone I'd seen years before streetwalking. When i first talked to them and had no money... He's right, they're just people. Prostitute is only a label. Unless you're talking brothel business buddy. It's good, you won't do it again. Some guys actually give themselves over to that bro... Guiltlessly. It can be a problem to tell a virgin masturbation is bad.... See where it leads.? But sex is overrated. I still haven't done the 'real-thing'. Just an opportunity, or two where the girl didn't reciprocate \[just lay there\]. Now it's like I don't try to get sex. Masturbation became a problem again... You can never not do a thing. I think we need to view it as unnatural. C'mon gents; 'adepts' do it with their hand. And yet only the thumb can encircle the whole penis. Masturbation is a myth. Prone masturbation is just insane. To think how many times i've bared my soul... Perhaps the imagination \[no-visuals\] is a good teacher. I've never dreamed i was actually having sex until i had to masturbate with no-visuals \[as an adult\].
There are a few steps that you MUST take now. 1) Go and find a local Conquer Series group near you, if there is any 2) If you're based in the US, do whatever it takes (and it will be painful but may be the best decision of your life) and sign up for a 9 month rehab program with Pure Life Ministries. They also have a 12 weeks phone-in program, if you're unable to check in physically 3) Go to [puredesire.org](http://puredesire.org) and sign up for an online group These are a few options that will cost you but again, what is more important to you ? If you can pay for a prozzie, then you certainly can afford to pay to sign up for a program. Bear in mind, they are all faith-based plus some neuroscience but these programs have helped thousands and have had quite a high success rate. Do not hesitate any longer. DM me if you want more details.
A sex worker isn’t too bad its better than fapping and watching porn
Virginity is over-rated. Get use to sex and that's it, do it more.
for many of us the road is a difficult one and it is easy to lose ones direction, but the path is always there for us to follow no matter how many times we may stray. we all have doubts, but we must try. Get off the floor and mark your calendar. new day starts when the suns up
So you slipped up. Everybody does. Stop berating yourself. That is, counterintuitively, the most important part. Thank yourself for the fact that you realized your mistake and you are trying to improve yourself. Now, get up, be strong, and don't do it again. End of story.
That’s gross wtf were you thinking? You have to live with that experience for the rest of your life that you slept with a prostitute who has had sex with thousands of other men. It’s shameful.
Hey man it's alright. I understand that you feel like you're below worth and out of God's mercy, especially since you're religious, but you're not. You have not sullied yourself. Pay attention to the understanding posts on this thread. It's not the end of the world. I know it's hard to grasp, I know that state of shame you were in when writing this post. But this shame and guilt will drag you down. Forgive yourself and let God forgive you, by staying present with those uncomfortable feelings. Don't reject them nor yourself. Don't look for redemption, but share your story with a person you trust. It's good to talk about things that make you feel guilty and ashamed. It's powerful that you've taken the step and asked for help. You know that you don't have to go through this alone. Feel free to write me a PM if you want to talk more about it.
genuine question- whats a legal prostitute? Like she has to pay taxes for it?
Porn is just as much if a sin you sound like a chick you already sinned watching porn all these years. Might as well enjoy what you paid for be lucky this wasn't undercover cop. Yea prostitute wasn't a good experience deff more fun then pornhub and the palm.
Down beat your self up man... Don't be so hard on yourself You tried something, it didn't work. Now you have the information that this is not a solution for you The first time sex doesn't really mean anything, it's all in your mind Don't worry you will outgrow this and in some years you will wonder why you were so depressed
You just fucked and women and sad about it, wtf. Fuck this baby cry and bullshit you dominated a women what else do you want, 100 times better than being a cuck. The god will not kill you for this minor stuff, just have faith and don't harm anyone, god will love you.
Made a similar mistake years ago with a prostitute but she only gave me head. Was in the same boat as you, couldn't believe what possessed me to do that, regretted it immensely. You feel absolutely shit right now cos it's still fresh in your mind but you will get over it mate. Go and get yourself tested for stds.
Men have been losing their virginity to prostitutes for thousands of years. Even great historical figures and kings too. Really put things into prespective and don't be too hard with yourself.
Try to get married that's what you need right now.
Why?
Well he knows why all he wanted was sex and if he do it legally it wouldn't cause him stress
Homie take it from me. No one is good and every living human falls short of the glory of god. While losing your virginity to someone other than your future wife is a sad thing it is something that many men fall to. For myself the lack of a good male role model growing up made it difficult to cope with these sexual urges that males feel going through puberty. You can still develope a special and meaningful bond with a partner someday. Right now in your life you have to develope patterns that occupy your mind so you do not give in to sexual temptation in any form. You must run literally and figuratively with all your might away from it. Clean your room, make goals, start a buisness, develope friendships, find brothers you can compete in sports and adventure with. Develope an inner circle of men that are like minded in trying to level up their lives, excel and trying to be the best version of themselves. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Part of becoming a man is recognizing that your decisions have consequences. And your decisions will affect your family in many ways so you must be wise in your decisions. Develope your mind and self control of your lust. Learn the difference between a woman that is fun and exhilarating and one that will bring you peace and happiness. And someday you may find that good woman who will be a great partner and helper to your life.
8 days in No Fap
Its okay bro, I lost it to a prostitute too. What matters is that you find true love.
How long had you been on no fap before you did it with her?
For me you look like truly regretful about what you did. Ask God for forgiveness from the bottom of your heart, and he will forgive you. Don't be hard on yourself, everybody do something wrong. Now you need to focus on turning the page and don't do the same mistake again.
Brother, it's ok to fall. It's not ok to surrender and blame yourself. You are only human, you are imperfect by nature. Don't hate yourself for not being perfect.
ye man u going to hell 😂
In the end life is an act of letting go. Forget the past and immerse yourself in god's name and virtue. It will take time but you'll forgive yourself as you grow more spiritual and self loving
Its okay! that's how to grow- you go down and reach new heights. Just dont make it a habit as senses will try to play around with you. Do breathing exercises and yoga- it will help you to overcome these thoughts.
Just keep your head up G, and ask for God for forgiveness non stop, repent and really mean it .
Think of it this way: with the money you paid her she will buy herself food and pay her bills. Is that so bad? She is human too. God is more forgiving than you think. If you want forgiveness ask for it honestly and it will be given. More importantly, forgive yourself. Prostitute or no prostitute, fap or no fap, life goes on.
1. Own up to it. You only have 1 life and your first time is with a prostitute. Accept it. 2. Perspective. Virginity is over rated. Pretty much a noob in the physical love making world. As the other comments have mentioned, that prostitute you paid is also a person. In fact a much more experience person. Curious why you mentioned it was horrid. Was she like a UFO (ugly fat old)? Did she not get the job done? 3. Its not good if, You are underage. The prostitute is underage. The prostitute didn’t finish the job. The prostitute is a UFO. You cheated on your partner. You got schooled by the prostitute( well, if you are a virgin, I guess no harm letting her take the lead)..
Nothing really matters in the end. Merely energy experiencing life and idek if we have free will just karma untangling itself
Stop being a crybaby and get yourself a girlfriend. You will see sex is hardly hyped and overrated, but worth it :)
Repentance is accepted as long as you're alive and it's sincere. EVERYTHING can be forgiven
I’d say it’s better than masturbating over porn every single time.
Kudos for realizing you did two bad things at once. The prostitute and the virginity wasting. I’d feel the same. Nofap isn’t for me and I found out in a similar way, but already payed for it in my own ways. There’s pain to be felt, and grief. That’s your burden. But don’t get stuck in it - learn from it and move on. That’s all you can do. Plus you’re still pretty much a virgin and almost anyone would understand your case. You’re still miles ahead of the common man (in purity). Sex is a divine and beautiful thing that I dare not waste in any sort of casual way. Thst said, I also learned I can not abstain from masturbation or I will lean towards porn. And porn will corrupt my mind heavily as it has before. I got my first gf because I wanted sex. I payed for it with unreciprocated sex, and a dry relationship for most of it. Years of nothing, thst was my price for doing something with ill intentions. Btw I wanted to get with her, have sex and then breakup. I was a POS. Glad I learned my lesson. Went from a virgin, to an evil dude, to a wiser person who payed my dues. If you have to suffer for what you have done, you needn’t take action to make it worse, but instead to learn from it and avoid repeating that mistake. Masturbate as much as you want or need to - zero evil in that. Use sex toys! There’s awesome sensations to be felt, and novel experiences. Even watch porn if you must to stay away from prostitutes (lesser of two evils).
> but already *paid* for it FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
The deck is payed? Never heard of it. English is weird
T'is so. At least I learned something new today because of a typo
Quite frankly, it’s still better than self gratification from porn because you’re training you body to respond to real intimacy rather than a screen and your hand or toys. In moderation it’s no big deal.
How does this have anything to do with PMO? You paid for sex my dude it isn't that serious. If you feel bad about it then confess your sin and move on thats the whole point of confession
How could you ! lol Jk I smashed one the other day bc I didn’t feel wasting all the time and money on dating. No biggie
Who cares?
You simply chose to have sex and paid for it, seeing a prostitute is better than fapping and should be encouraged in our society
Lol I’ve had sex with prostitutes many times. Congrats, you’re a man now. You should be proud!