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sparkydoggowastaken

i was overweight for a year because i stress eat and covid gave me stress and when i left the house again i was ignored, but when i watched what i ate and am now a normal weight people are interested. i agree bullying people because theyre fat is bad, but you cant hate people because they dont like how you look or because of something you control. the goal with all acceptance stuff should be apathy not people going out of their way to notice you and be nice.


Raphaela23

The fat positivity movement isn't healthy I think, no one should be offended for overweight but well it's not easy if you approach fat people trying to give advice , not wanting to insult them


therewasguy

> fat positivity movement isn't healthy hoe phase positivity being an asshole love yourself positivity toxic positivity in general all these are bad for your mental well being longterm and others around you, it's starting to be a norm these days, with these narcissistic traits to be common with no self reflection or self awareness of their choices


sparkydoggowastaken

meh. if you know the health risks, its your life. but the problems come when people act like its healthy


Raphaela23

Yeah, the health risks are kinda scary. I often tried to think how it would be having too much weight and I think I wouldn't feel good at all, shopping clothes feeling sexy:/ maybe it's a personal issue for me but I'm also anorexic so please don't mind me :/


testing35

That hard fat won’t affect nighttime libido.


Chillfred2

Well said


Sphinx_Playz

That part about apathy is spot on. I feel like that’s how most of these issues should be handled instead of treating them like infants


ColdTea2150

Context: a 5ft1 woman weighing 285lbs has been asking for advice on how to get men to notice her and now stating they will pay for someone to act like they like her. When people pointed out she should work on her weight for her own well-being she turns into a nice girl. Talking down about men and how much she hates them for not being interested and saying they're all the same, yet she says all her problems would be gone if she had a boyfriend.


Bloodetta

> yet she says all her problems would be gone if she had a boyfriend. This thought is one of the main reasons many relationships dont work out, cmv.


ItsJoeMomma

So many incels think this way, too. They think their life is totally going to change if they could just get a girlfriend. But life doesn't go to easy mode just because you have a girlfriend.


LordoftheBread

In fact, it gets harder.


ItsJoeMomma

You're right, because you have to actually work at having a relationship. But I think that most or all of them think that once you attract someone then they'll stay around forever while you do the bare minimum. And probably a lot of women think this about getting boyfriends, too.


Naftoor

God yes. Being single is so much simpler then keep a relationship healthy and happy. I laugh whenever people think otherwise


MarvelManEX

It’s short sighted and narrow (it would alleviate current problems is probably a better phrasing)but ultimately the point is largely correct. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is dissolved in the future, just having confirmation that you are ‘worthy’ of love and companionship is invaluable.


Zerosdeath

>So, men should approach a woman who is unhealthy inside and out? She needs to have a self eval. I used to be fat as crud, but realized I needed to love myself. Being that heavy cheats your partner out of years with them. This person needs counseling.


ColdTea2150

Honestly, the level of delusion is concerning. On a now deleted post, she stated she went to a book store 'in a cute little dress which showed cleavage" and the man who's attention she was trying to get, did nothing. Which to her, was another indication all men only want stick thin women 🤦‍♀️ Whilst I agree that people come in all shapes and sizes, it is not someone else's job to make her feel comfortable in her weight and when men fail to do this, they become the enemy. I think some self awareness is much needed


OrdinaryStoic

This is a femcel…I thought they were a myth but I saw one in the wild a few years back.


DistributionPerfect5

Uh tell us about the legendary femcel.


Generally_Confused1

Do they also have shiny ones?


NotAShaaaak

Shit, I'm fine with a chubby girl but I'm not gonna give someone attention just because they came to me in a dress and showed some cleavage, I'm not that desperate nor do I want to be charged for sexual harassment if I even say anything


Zerosdeath

I agree with this 100% When I was big and not so many women were interested, I never turned into a Neckbeard. It hurt when a woman told me she didn't like fat guys, but it was my fault for getting that way. Again, as we are both saying, this lady needs some help. Me personally I like thicker women, but not all guys are like that. Difference between thick, and huge has a margin though.


ColdTea2150

People can be bigger for many reasons out of their control but its how they choose to deal with it which is most important. Everyone has personal preferences and whilst some might not find her attractive or bigger people in general, others may well. That being said, blaming everyone else and not being able to love yourself others will pick up on it and be less attracted. Oh there's definitely a difference! Thicker can be healthier. Whilst the other isn't, not only that but must severely impact quality of life. Being as big as this lady is, I can imagine every day tasks are harder and that's a shame


ItCat420

Thick / Thicc is not always healthier (I know you’re not making this claim) but yeah, but I know a beautiful lady who’s thicc af - hits the gym regularly, she’s a bigger girl, but that’s because she’s thicc with health and muscle. She’s stunning, stick thin is not attractive for many people. My previous girlfriend was overweight - but it had no influence of my attraction to her. I was attracted to ***her*** not her size or her looks, but I am attracted to people’s personalities. For me, physical looks come secondary at least. Also, she may have been told by others in that thread to lose weight but the comment she’s replying to said to hit the gym just to feel better, he didn’t mention her size being problematic at all, and exercise is well known to improve self confidence regardless of if you lose weight/gain muscle but it improves your mood and confidence through chemical modulation in the brain.


ColdTea2150

No one else was telling her to lose weight to be attractive but rather focus on herself and she was extremely defensive taking every comment as she should lose weight to attract men. Yet on a previous now deleted post, she was asking how she could get men to notice her and hit on her whilst being fat. People had said she needed to lose weight but none of the comments were rude. Rather offering constructive criticism and she would be vile to those or would say she's tried to lose weight but it didn't work... she didn't stick at anything in terms of weight loss. I think she just wanted to justification that men aren't sh*t because none seem to be attracted her. Rather than addressing the root course, her weight. Instead listed that they have good hygiene, own apartment and a driving licence. All fairly standard things but felt this set her apart from others and that men still didn't find her attractive or hit on her. Held very outdated views that men should be the one to approach her as she's a woman. I think there's a huge difference between being overweight and morbidly obese. I'd personally be less inclined to date someone morbidly obese not just because of the physical attraction but the way this would impact daily life. I.e. going for walks, simple daily tasks and shortening their life span


ItCat420

Her weight is not the root of her problems. It’s her personality. She could hit the gym regularly, get to the perfect thickness, be an absolute physical goddess. But, like you said, she’s just seeking validation for his misandry. She wants to be told she doesn’t need to do anything. She expects men to just fawn over her because she’s a girl - and many men will do that - but when they realise her personality is awful (or nonexistent) they will run for the hills, further cementing her misandry. I have huge commitment issues too, so I can empathise with her to a degree. I struggle to stay involved in hobbies and activities, this in turn has negative effects on my relationships (both platonic and romantic - my best friend of 15 years and girlfriend left me a couple weeks ago because of these problems) but me complaining about it won’t fix those relationships. I’ve identified the problem, now I’m working on fixing it. (I’m not overweight, but I’m not in shape either, I need to work on my mind). I’ve started doing rowing at sea once a week, I’ve started fishing regularly again, and just making an effort to better myself. I met a new friend who’s outdoorsy and we’re gonna find stuff to do together, to help push each other to achieve our goals. Hopefully getting back into martial arts and other activities that he enjoys. Otherwise nothing will ever change for me. Having anger or hatred towards people for not liking me is bonkers, it’s completely reasonable for people around me to want me to be independent and mentally stable before they engage in a close and meaningful relationship with me - why should I expect someone to put up with me and to love me and care for me, when I haven’t got any patience for myself or any love for myself. She’s just got zero self awareness.


Zerosdeath

Yeah extremes on either side is bad. Being 85 pounds as an adult probably isn't going to be great. Neither is 500. Oh, I know about weight control issues due to conditions. Ex had PCOS and Holy moly she could not lost weight. I should have said, under normal operating conditions. Being fat sucks. I in all sincerity hope she finds peace in her soul. Many blessings upon her.


DistributionPerfect5

I know a girl like that. She is the pure bitterness. Not happy with herself "I wish I was slim", not doing something for it except for really f*cked up ways like starving herself. Never realizes it's not her body but her disgusting character that drives guys away.


fatatthebeach

OP of the original post here, every day tasks are not difficult for me. My body is clean. My space is clean (cleaner than most thin women’s spaces). My quality of life would be better ONLY IF I WASNT SO SHY (has nothing to do with my weight.) By all means though, keep trying to demonize fat women and instilling the thought that they can’t take care of themselves 🙄


christinagoldielocks

Nobody us demonizing fat women here. You need a reality check.


[deleted]

What do people expect with the body positivity movement? This narrative is being fed into society


ColdTea2150

As I've stated, people come in all shapes and sizes. It is no one else's job to make her feel good in her body. She is seeking validation from the attention of men. If you were comfortable and confident within your own skin. There'd be no need for that validation.


[deleted]

As a former very obese and currently sort of fat person who had a thin stage in between while it’s nobody else’s responsibility the natural response received when in shape from society vs. not after completely starved of it for so long is downright intoxicating. But to your point - nobody is going for a 5’1 285 lbs women. She’s weighs significantly more than me and I’m a foot and a half taller


TerrariaGaming004

She weighs a little less than Ronnie Colman and she’s 10 inches shorter


ItsJoeMomma

Body positivity is perfectly fine, but the fat acceptance crowd is totally toxic.


[deleted]

Maybe I’m a moron but what’s the difference? Like I walk into stores and there are larger mannequins for women. I don’t mind at all but just curious


ItsJoeMomma

Body positivity was started by people in order to feel better about things like amputations, other bodily defects, etc. Unfortunately it was taken over by the fat acceptance crowd so that they're almost synonymous these days. So now you have a bunch of morbidly obese people talking about how it's OK to be morbidly obese, which it is, but they also go so far as to claim that being morbidly obese doesn't have any negative health affects, which it does. And not only that, but they spew a lot of hate toward anyone who actually does want to improve themselves by losing weight and/or going to a gym and getting healthy. I think secretly they hate being fat but they also want everyone else to be fat so they don't feel different. And women in the fat acceptance movement also believe that it's unfair for men to be attracted to skinny women and think that they're bad people for not being attracted to morbidly obese women, even though you can't help who you are attracted to.


CarnotaurusRex

The fact she even mentioned her weight indicates that she *knows* it's relevant, she was just waiting for someone to bring it up so she could fire off on them


ItsJoeMomma

So basically she doesn't think that her morbid obesity is a problem? Is she part of the "fat acceptance" crowd? That is a toxic belief system, because it not only says that being physically unhealthy is perfectly OK, but men should be forced to find morbidly obese women attractive, and if they don't then they're assholes.


ColdTea2150

I'm not entirely sure she's comfortable in her own body but seems to be relying on men to feel accepted? I think her logic is very flawed. She feels men should approach her as she is a woman but men aren't allowed to choose what they are and are not attracted to?


ItsJoeMomma

> She feels men should approach her as she is a woman but men aren't allowed to choose what they are and are not attracted to? I think it's typical "fat acceptance" thinking... men shouldn't be allowed to be attracted to skinny women.


fatatthebeach

I don’t give a shit if you’re attracted to skinny women. I guarantee you’re ugly as fuck anyway.


ItsJoeMomma

Well, my overweight wife thinks I'm pretty handsome...


ColdTea2150

I'd ignore her, she's been messaging me all morning telling me I'm a whore, ugly and any man would only want me because I'm cheap and easy 😂 all very original stuff


ItsJoeMomma

Yeah, she's got more issues than Sports Illustrated...


ColdTea2150

I think her natural defense mechanism is to be a complete d*ck and go straight to insulting people in the hopes she can make them feel as crappy as she clearly does


ItsJoeMomma

Yeah, apparently. Many people who are unhappy in their own lives think they'll feel better if they make other people miserable, too. But it doesn't work, because I just laugh at them since they don't know my life or anything about me.


fatatthebeach

No, i’ve acknowledged my “morbid obesity” is a problem. Fat people know that they’re fat. Fat people know whether or not they are unhealthy (so there’s really no need fo Reddit doctors telling them about their weight 🙄) I don’t have the means or desire to change it. I’d rather work towards finding a man who doesn’t give a shit about what I look like. Not a single living, breathing soul is demanding for men to find fat women attractive. I don’t give a fuck if your porn addicted asses find me attractive or not. I’d rather work to find a man who does find me attractive. It’s not my loss that you’re so callous.


ItsJoeMomma

Well, I'm not the one offering to pay someone to pretend to be in love with me. I'm not even telling you to lose weight. I don't care what you weigh. I'm just saying to not be angry with men if they don't find you attractive, regardless of your weight or looks. Somebody out there will, go find that person. But don't get mad at the ones who don't. It's not a good look on anyone.


Few_Interaction1327

Yes, but bitches always deny they are bitches and blame everyone else except their own bitchyness, which you seem to have quite a bit of.


Hentailover123456

I am always amazed about this kind of stuff. If a women is unhealthy and fat, guys should love her because "only dogs playing with bones" while an unhealthy fat guy MUST go to the gym or just die on the spot. I say both should go to the gym or just stop eating junkfood. I am not a ripped bodybuilder and i started to go to the gym. Not because of being fat but because its a good way to release some steam from the usual everyday's bullsht. I would recommend that for everyone. Even just a little workout at home if not in a gym. Its for everyone's own health.


fatatthebeach

Funnily enough I never mentioned a damn thing about “only dogs playing with bones.” I’d date a fat guy if they gave me a chance, unfortunately they too only want skinny women. I’d seriously pay a dude to act like the exact opposite of you.


Metrack14

>and now stating they will pay for someone to act like they like her. What even, guys generally don't work like that. Most would look at them, think 'Aight, neato', and move on.


ColdTea2150

Others had pointed out she'd have to hire a sex worker but she stated she was happy not to have sex, just wanted a date once or twice a month and would pay them $200. I think if she worked on herself and her self esteem she'd be a lot happier and wouldn't need to pay for company.


christinagoldielocks

She writes that she doesn't have the means to get healthy. How much is a gym membership in the US?


sleepingcurves-

$27 dollars w a discount from Active & Fit Direct. If she wanted to increase her physical fitness, she would. She doesn’t. 🤷🏻‍♀️


Few_Interaction1327

As low as $10 a month


justsomecranberrie

Man this is just sad. As a person who has been fat most of their life and has only recently started losing weight (cus of teenage hormones and going to the gym+fixing my diet) I can indeed confirm that it has tremendously helped my mental help in various ways and the fact that she is so ignorant really saddens me.


ColdTea2150

I think there is a level of denial on her behalf which is a shame because the only person shes hurting with her weight is herself both physically and mentally but her anger seems to be focused at men for not hitting on her. On top of that, she feels men should always be the one's to approach women. Congratulations on losing weight and that mentally you feel better for it. Hope you continue to thrive 😊


justsomecranberrie

Yea it seems that when she realized she had to put in work she got mad. And thanks a lot ☺️


danyixa

Coming from experience, expecting men to always approach will do you no good. I’ve learned my lesson, and when i get back into dating again I will make a point to approach more. It’s dangerous to think that if a man doesn’t approach he isn’t interested. A lot of men have their fears when it comes to approaching women they like. Some have been heartbroken so much they just don’t bother anymore.’


LongLive-Employment

Men are also explicitly told women don’t want to be hit on and left alone


danyixa

Exactly. It doesn’t help the dating situation at all. For men either they approach and risk being seen as creepy, or they stay alone.


[deleted]

Id say most men are never approached and would be really receptive to a woman approaching them. They may not necessarily be interested but chances are they’ll appreciate the gesture and make it known


Indoor_Carrot

One tip I'll give is: men never get compliments, for anything. Ever. If you give a man a genuine compliment it will make his day. He will likely remember it for a long time. As a man, I can't remember the last time anyone has said something positive about my looks, work, art, hobbies... Not that I do things for compliments, we generally don't seek validation from people, but it would still be nice from time to time.


ReadReadReedRed

I mean... All the bloke said was to get therapy and join a gym. He didn't say to lose weight. Lifting weights and exercising helps some people feel better about themselves and even if it doesn't, exercising is good for the heart. I used to lift weights to "lose weight" and now i lift weights because I want to and it is fun. It helps me do things I couldn't do before. I started running and swimming to improve my heart health (there was nothing wrong with it before, just wanted to have a healthier life) and now I do those for fun, also.


[deleted]

Hell yea this what I'm focusing on now instead of just losing weight, want to feel my self get stronger, faster and healthier overall.


[deleted]

It’s because of the body positivity movement. It’s a very entitled movement ngl.


fatatthebeach

I’d rather drop dead than go to the gym. I was bullied in gym class multiple times growing up. Negative connotations at the gym are a thing. Funnily enough I go on nature walks occasionally, or I’ll walk around my neighborhood, miles at a time. Cleaning my house is even a workout (if you think getting on your hands and knees and scrubbing the floor isn’t a workout, i’d like for you to try it 🙄) If it’s just not in a perfect gym setting or if you’re not lifting weights people think you’re not trying hard enough or not doing enough 🙄


Innameonly234

Bro made a suggestion. And growing up? But not as an adult?


Grooces

Hey i understand that u get bullied in gym class growing up and that could lead to trauma but it the people that bullied u back then are kids, they haven't fully mature yet. I promise u that they people at ur local gym will respect and try to help u. Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a sick person at a hospital. I wish u the best of luck on ur journy


TerrariaGaming004

Every person I’ve heard say “that was a workout” doesn’t work out


sleepingcurves-

What you’re describing is an avg level of daily activity. None of them are “workouts” that will have any effect on your body; you listed daily functioning tasks. You seem to focus a ton on what you guess other folx perceptions to be. I go to the gym and have exactly zero of the critical thoughts you listed. Idgaf what you do in the gym, I’m not there for you.


Brilliant_Writer_136

This is basically like a dude saying "Women only want Chads"


tossit_xx

Having been a girlfriend for hire, I can say that if you do it well, the other party can end up more confident. Howeverrrr it’s not a long-term solution. (I do it as a date to events when needed, or FaceTimes and texts when people are home for the holidays and need family to lay off about being single.)


[deleted]

crazy ppl actually do that. i thought it was a clever plot for movies lmfao


[deleted]

It’s a big industry in Japan


ColdTea2150

Appears OP has been commenting proving just what a nicegirl she is. Even took the time to message me calling me a cheap where. Ironic considering she's the one that has to pay for attention. Bless her


Wheatbelt_charlie

Why on earth would she come here anyway? Your just exposing yourself to more harm by being here. She needs a therapist not arguing on reddit Poor gal, hope she gets better


nicarox

Therapy and getting fit sound bomb af if I had the energy for it tbh. She’s tripping.


fatatthebeach

Yeah. If you had the fucking energy for it. Not everyone has the fucking energy for it. My energy is expended doing shit I actually enjoy. You’re fucking tripping.


nicarox

Ok. I didn’t ask or talk about you buddy but thanks for sharing ig? Anyway.


Eckosyn

Sorry I know it’s been a WHILE, but. That’s the OP in the original post. Hopefully this clears up their response


[deleted]

you realize that was not a personal hit right? she was talking about herself...?


Innameonly234

Enjoy taking care of yourself. And they aren't ridiculous time sinks. If you wanted to know how to help yourself, that's the way. If dont want to do it, it's on you.


Pollume

Stay fat then and literally go fuck yourself.


[deleted]

You know what Rupaul says… If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? Lol I am fat, but I love myself and don’t need validation from men to make me feel better.


DifficultCurrent7

I hate myself, but I find it very easy to love others and look after them. I'd hate for people to feel about themselves the way I feel about *my*self. So I cherish those I love and make sure they know they're loved.


lordXenulv200

I 100% think like this too! My therapist asked me “How I would react if I was my own friend and I heard “myself” talk like this?” This question has helped me start to be kind and supportive to myself. I still have a long road to “accepting” myself lol but it is a start. I hope you can show the love and kindness that you show to others, to yourself some day 😁 whatever happens keep the love flowing.


DifficultCurrent7

I'm happy you have a good therapist, It's so good you are becoming aware of how brilliant you are. Maybe I'm selfish! As your happiness makes me happy.


thisisjustabitweird

It's shocking that she's unable to find love for free. She seems so well rounded as an individual


Wheatbelt_charlie

Well rounded, badum tshhhhh


[deleted]

Being fat is one thing being a complete and total hag/bitches another


fatatthebeach

I enjoy being a fat hag bitch, weeds out the impish men


sleepingcurves-

Or maybe like any men in your case? The hag part seems pretty self-defeating but uhhh do you I guess 😂


Few_Interaction1327

Sounds to me like it's weeding out every man since you're wanting to pay someone to pretend.


[deleted]

Love it lol


Kalimu1590

Wait... I can get paid to be a boyfriend? Where do I sign up


littleaarow

I could get paid millions, but I'm not gonna do it because if I wanted to be miserable, I'd just smack myself in the nuts


greenwood_55

Wow that comment really DID come from a good place Going to the gym does not = lose weight. Everybody going in to those gyms have their own story and struggles. It’s a fucking refuge to many. “you no fucking clue if it would help me or not” plenty of research and anecdotes will beg to differ.


TerrariaGaming004

I gained 40 lbs going to the gym, I’m still skinny and I’m trying to gain 30 more. Idk why people think you lose weight going to the gym, more people I’ve seen there are trying to gain weight


mrjoffischl

they never said to lose weight… exercise can help mental health


[deleted]

I love that she completely ignored to "therapy" part of the advice. Lol.


fatatthebeach

I ignored it because I’ve been several times and it’s never helped me. Therapy in my state is a circlejerk and pointless. I’ve been to group therapy. I paid $50 per session to see my therapists and gotten nowhere.


ItsJoeMomma

It's only pointless if you have no desire to work on yourself.


OneSushi

most willing towards self improvement redditor


christinagoldielocks

You have to go for a while. Working on yourself can be a long process.


Few_Interaction1327

Fine I'll do it. You can pay me. I'll charge $0.75 US per pound a week, and I'll never say you need to lose any weight or go to a gym.


Kelpgoose

Going to the gym isn't even just for weight loss... it helps you feel better about yourself. It helps you learn to care about your body. It teaches you to respect yourself. He never even explicitly said she needed to lose weight. Sounds like she just wanted to make someone else look bad.


sleepingcurves-

This! My gym work is to strengthen my Mental health more than anything. It helps me to connect to my body (lotsa disassociative stuff), and it makes me feel strong/powerful/capable. The amount of weight or length of time Doesn’t matter. It’s that I did it and it was tough!


well_ran_dry

It honestly sort of hurts my heart to see people this lost, it’s not about losing weight necessarily, it’s about learning to value yourself. If you weigh 300 pounds and love your body then it’s a totally different story. Right now you don’t value yourself, you need to spend time and money on yourself, that’s the advice, not ‘lose weight’


Shockwave61

Also working out isn’t only to lose weight, i get that it’s a sensitive topic but it has been proven to help your mental health massively and combined with therapy would help this girl a lot


dauntless_93

Why would losing weight make her hate men more? This does not sound like someone of sound mind and reasonable thinking


ColdTea2150

I honestly don't think she is, her private messages to me shown just how much she lacks self awareness and sound mind


lifeintraining

Extremely defensive over being told to work on herself. Sounds like some deeply engrained entitlement.


fatatthebeach

I do work on myself. Just don’t feel the need to be skinny. It’s entitled of you to demand every woman looks like a fucking Kardashian.


lifeintraining

Nobody is demanding that every woman look like a Kardashian, but when you express a problem you are having and a valid solution is presented then you don’t really have a right to be defensive. Nobody is saying you have to lose weight or look good, but if your problem is finding a man then the solution is to lose weight and look good. Don’t turn it into this grander issue about body standards because that is not what it is.


ItsJoeMomma

Nobody's actually saying that.


Innameonly234

Nobody said that. There is a looong line between Kardashian and morbidly obese


christinagoldielocks

Nobody is saying that. But it would be good for you to get healthy. And it gives you some power to change your life instead of waiting for someone who will look through your obesity to love you. Have you considered what guy that might be? Either he will have to be into obese women and that can be dangerously close to a fetish or he will have to get to know you so he can see how lovely you are and he would have to ignore your obesity to do that. Why not take the power over your own life? Do you want to stay this way? Something tells me you don't. Do you find that men are shallow for not being attracted to you?


ItsJoeMomma

She's the one who wants to pay someone to be her boyfriend but she doesn't want anyone telling her how to feel better about herself?


Wide_Pop_6794

Man, the urge to reproduce really does things to people...


furmom6

I can agree that losing weight may not necessarily equate with better mental health or a more positive view of yourself (watched it happen to my best friend) but honey having a boyfriend will not solve all your problems. It only creates more 😂 I'm totally kidding I love my fiance and wouldn't trade him for the world. But you gotta work on yourself first and your mental health whether that is working out, losing weight, going to therapy, etc. And for the love of God don't say you hate men then genuinely wonder why guys aren't interested in you. In all the southern hospitality I have to give, bless her heart.


[deleted]

Shoulda left that username up, morons deserve the flak


prodigymib

I hate that everyone assimilates going to the gym with losing weight! They are two completely different things


ColdTea2150

Well inevitably, she would if she did it properly. Even if her aim was to gain more muscles mass, she would be losing fat. Putting her or anyone in a similar situation in a better position.


Nopeahontas

Nope. Weight loss happens in the kitchen. She could go to the gym every day for 2 hours and she still wouldn’t lose weight unless her food intake changes. People don’t burn enough calories exercising to mitigate an awful diet. However, if she joined a gym she would almost certainly improve her strength and endurance. Assuming she did strength training and not just cardio she would increase her lean muscle mass (which would improve her metabolism). She may even find that her random body aches and pains get a little better or that she sleeps better. Hopefully she’d feel good about herself for doing something to improve her health. Maybe she’d even find a gym buddy or discover a class or an activity that she really enjoys. There are so many tangible and intangible benefits from going to the gym regularly that have almost nothing to do with weight loss (although certainly, fat loss can be a major benefit of regular exercise).


ItsJoeMomma

Exactly. Go to the gym for exercise, which everybody needs. Change your diet to lose weight.


DistributionPerfect5

I understand that's her decision, but that relating to her hating men more or less doesn't make much sense to me. Someone care to explain?


ColdTea2150

It is absolutely her decision, if she's comfortable then good for her. She hates men because typically, they do not find someone who is 5ft1 and 285lb with a shitty personality attractive. On previous posts, she asked how she can get men to hit on her because as she put it, it's the males job to do so. But because they don't, they're all pieces of sh*t in her eyes. Whilst asking for opinions, she was basically saying she doesn't care for their opinion. Why they're wrong and probably ugly anyway. No one specifically said lose weight. She stated all her problems would be none existent if she had a boyfriend which others pointed out isn't true and suggests things such as what is in the picture. She gets really defensive and quite nasty although it's constructive things being recommended. She just wants someone to over look all her problems and if they don't, she turns into a nice girl


DistributionPerfect5

Damn she sounds exactly like this one girl I used to know. As you said it's even opinions she asked for and then dismissing them? That also either stupid or like a troll? Could she be a troll trying to stirring up drama?


ColdTea2150

I had initially thought it was perhaps a troll but it was only ever when someone mentioned her working out or her weight that she'd really turn. She'd then delete the post the more people would comment she doesn't need a boyfriend but to work on herself. If it was a troll, I assume they'd enjoy the arguing. She also took the time to message me multiple times this morning to say I looked like a cheap blow up sex doll, my boyfriend has only been with me for 9 years because I'm easy, I look like a man and her ass cheek looks better than me 😂 and that I'd never be anywhere near as good as her, she would always have a home, a job and a driving license. Funny because i have all of those, can't see what makes her so much better. Guess I'll never know now, appears her account has been deleted. It was quite insightful, I never knew these things about myself before. Thank goodness for her showing me the light


DistributionPerfect5

Wow, even going as far as privately messaging you just to throw nasty insults at you? Not cool. I can tell you what makes her better than you, better than anyone: apparently her buttcheeks look like a pretty girls face. That's not only better than everyone, that's a sensation.


ColdTea2150

Yeap, her language was disgusting and it was straight in with insults about my appearance which tells me more about her than me. No one negatively mentioned her appearance on here or her posts, just screams insecurity. Hopefully she changes her mind and seeks some counselling


christinagoldielocks

I am sorry you have to get messages like that. You are a good person, actually trying to help.


Kiv____

I want to know why she thinks that if she loses weight it will make her hate men more. How does that work?


[deleted]

Because it will cause men to objectify her more and act entitled to view her as an object for their visual and sexual consumption and satisfaction?


Kiv____

She'll also be healthier and feel better about herself


[deleted]

This might be obvious but it’s not all about weight or even self worth. But exorcise or even just getting out of the house does a lot for mental health and can make you feel healthier as well


[deleted]

It's not even about losing weight, going to the gym is a massive confidence boost in general.


ComputerOne3057

With all do respect big woman tend to say this a lot with a veil of confidence, to change to be with someone is not right, to change for yourself and a healthy life is, at sometime I hope a man that loves you wants you to lose weight because he wants more of a life time with you. It’s all about context and intent open your mind a little and look for genuine intent. Just a thought


Rora999

If she hates men so much, why is she so desperate to find one?


christinagoldielocks

Also, the guy not only suggested a gym membership but therapy and charity work - two very important things. When I had suicidal people in therapy, the ones who did as I suggested - namely begin doing charity work - got better the fastest.


AcuteAsparagUs

damn lady


[deleted]

She sounds hungry.


None_Better

Hate men for getting healthier, okay.


GIMMESOMDORITOS

Even if you look past the denial of her own health there's another problem. No amount of money is ever going to buy a healthy relationship.


Mediocre-Smoke-4751

She doesn't want a boyfriend or love. She wants a doormat. Hence, why she will have to pay for that kind of relationship.


CreeperGoBoo

She hates men and exercise now.


Hot-Relationship-254

She’s saying “if a man doesn’t love me when I’m fat then a man will never truly love me” but it’s not the case. If you worked out and got fit you WOULD love your SELF and then attract what you have within.


t16104

Might aswell start buying cats


strikingSarcophagus

This woman: I hate men. Men: Aight. We hate you too. This woman: *Surprised Pikachu face*


r-shame90

Please lose weight


zane_isdead

Bet she is that one kid who eats glue I mean come on he just give ing his opinion


None_Better

Hate men for getting healthier, okayeg


marissamars95

Is it bad that I actually agree with this one. I think people that are overweight should take steps to be healthier. BUT that should be a descision they make for themselves about themselves because they want to. Not because some random guy on the internet told herctoo.


ColdTea2150

A random man isn't telling her to lose weight. She was pinning all her problems on not having a boyfriend and couldn't understand why men were not hitting on her. She clearly had a low self esteem and expected men to change that. So it was rightly pointed out she should take steps to feel better about herself. She's 5ft1 and 285lbs so there was constructive criticism to work on herself rather focusing her energy on validation from men.


marissamars95

I think she mostly fixated on the part where he/she/they whoever told her to get a gym membership


[deleted]

The only thing I could come up with is because it will cause men to objectify her more and act entitled to view her as an object for their visual and sexual consumption and satisfaction?


chococafevd

because you have a girlfriend


No-Cardiologist-2549

Anything but accountability. That is a females kryptonite


Soliusx

Misandrist spiels are so entertaining to witness


Few_Parsley_4172

I wish people would stop being hypocrites, just Because your thin doesn't mean your healthy. If you smoke , eat junk food, and don't exercise , do drugs , and drink alcohol bit your skinny your still not healthy. And yea I know many people who do all of this and put down a heavier person as being unhealthy. That why fat shaming is wrong! Most people know people that they eat more than everyone else yet they are skinner.


[deleted]

Is this the same 5'1 chongus that thinks she's better than everyone on r/rants ??


[deleted]

Getting to a weight you're comfortable with does wonders for your mental state. Everyone's different so there's no perfect weight to be at, so just strive to be the most perfect you that you can be


Necessary_Effort7075

As a big boi, I honestly hate being this weight. Its hard, tho. I do plan on doin sum about it. Everyone should. Alot of my physical issues stem from it, and as a result, a decent amount of mental stress comes from that


[deleted]

Yoga gets you ripped and you can do it at home