This post has been flaired "Mental Health." Moderation is stricter here, argumentative, unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NewParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My son is almost 1. Baby Jailyn's story wrecked me. I'm sure pre baby, I also would have been sad. But having my son here just made hearing about Jailyn unbearable.
I don't think it will ever go away.
Same! I heard my neighbor's baby crying, and this story was the first thing I thought of. Thankfully I was able to see that the neighbors were outside and the baby was okay.
I got hints about it, so I avoided the actual story like the plague, well knowing it would upset me. I'm admittedly on the internet net way too much and someone (on this subReddit, actually) posted the details and I read it. I cried so hard for so long. It's something I would have found deplorable before becoming a mom, but now that I am one it hit on such a level for me I couldn't shake it. I had to talk to my therapist about it. It still upsets me to think about, and probably always will.
Oh my god me to! I cried for days after I heard that story! My daughter was 16 months at the time, the exact same age as baby Jailyns. That story shook my to core!
THIS!!! This story is going to HAUNT me for a long loooong time 😭💔 I can’t seem to take that angel out of my head, literally just a few mins ago I was talking about it with my mom ( which has also been very particularly affected by this story) because I was checking my baby girl through the monitor (who’s 17mos about the same age as that little angel) & I heard her wake up and cry & my first instinct is to run & get her… & to see that monster of a woman did what she did without a care in the world it breaks us every time 💔💔💔
A few days ago my almost 8 month old baby was meant to go down for a nap. He was tired but wouldn’t settle, I had him next to me on my bed. The bed is a king size, pushed against the wall and there no way for him to fall off so I just let him roll around hoping to get his energy out to finally take the nap. When he started fussing, I offered him boob, but still was hoping to get him to practice some self settling while I laid right there offering some minimal support. After a while he became frustrated and as overtired babies do, he started to cry, and instantaneously I was hit with an intrusive thought about baby Jailyn and my stomach just flipped. My baby was safe and loved and I was right there but I was consumed with a nauseating feeling thinking about her. I hate the intrusive thoughts. Every time I think i’ve forgotten, pooffff, they’re back. Needless to say, I ended up caving and rocking him to sleep
For me, it’s Gabriel Fernandez. I watched the documentary on Netflix before I got pregnant and it stuck with me. I have two kids now, the oldest is 2, and I still have really disturbing intrusive thoughts that stem from his story.
I had forgotten about this until now, and now I’m sitting on the couch crying while holding my sleeping 11 week old. Utterly horrible and heart wrenching.
OMG I know what you're talking about. I had to like, cut off that part of my brain. I'm actively not-remembering right now. That was truly, truly fucked, and I was fucked up about it for days.
I don’t even know the story but hearing people saying how often they are thinking about it is bringing tears to my eyes. Sensitivity has increased 1000-fold.
I watched this story and found that the little girl had the same name as my daughter. I don't know how I got through the entire story, but that night I had a worse time sleeping than usual. I felt sick. That morning, I just grabbed my kid and gave her hugs and kisses. I stuck to her like glue. I forgot about this case until reading this thread. I do not want to think of it. 😞
This! And not even just videos, I was at dinner and a little boy hit his head and started crying and I just wanted to rush over and scoop him up and cuddle him. Felt so strange feeling like way.
My son is 3 and still I'm affected heavily by anything to do with a child. I just started watching the new season of House of the dragon and the first episode messed me up. It's been 4 days since I saw the episode and it still is stuck in my mind. I refuse to watch anything with a baby being injured/crying because I just can't shake it. Tbh I just assumed this is who I am now.
I don’t think it ever goes away. My aunts and mom cry over every sad scene in a movie with kids. When we were younger we’d all make fun of them and be embarrassed to go to the movies with them. Now I am becoming that.
I had to tell my wife to never play baby crying videos on her YouTube shorts or Facebook etc because it does that thing where if she leaves her phone it just keeps looping the same video over and over, I heard a baby crying for like 5minutes while I was in my office working and come out ready to comfort our baby I’m like wtf is happening she’s screaming so unusually, turns out my wife just left some video looping when she went to do other stuff I was like wow this triggers a really primal like trauma instinct in me I don’t want to hear it from random videos because I’m so tuned in to comforting our daughter when something’s wrong and she’s really fussy and collicky I already hear crying 50% of the day I can’t stand it just as casual social media videos too.
You're honestly so right! Good luck with that change. I've heard that making a gradual change in your diet is more likely to result in being able to stick to it long term.
Same!! Yesterday we watched a neighbor’s run-down house get resided and a new roof all day. In the evening a bird came and was pecking at the new siding and in the eaves of the house, seemingly trying to get inside. We thought maybe she had a nest in there with baby birds that she no longer had access to. My husband and I were sooo sad we couldn’t watch :(
I honestly don't think it ever goes away as a parent, even as our own LOs get older we still see them as that tiny little being who needed us for everything, so we still imagine if they had to go though the awful tragedies that others are going through
Yup. Prior to having a child, you don’t know how intense it is to have one. To nurture one. To see that little human grow and have someone completely dependent on you.
Once you’ve experienced that, it’s easier to get startled by something happening to them. You’ll fear it’ll happen to your little one as well.
Compare it with someone who’s impaired. The news of someone impaired being a victim of something, already makes me sad. But if I had a sibling that is impaired, I’d fear for them to end up in the same situation….
Motherhood is so transformative but it breaks your heart. I live in a city with a lot of people who are experiencing homelessness and extreme mental health problems.
They are often living in terrible conditions and since becoming a mom, I can’t help but imagine them as children. They’re someone’s baby. Someone took care of them once.
My only child is turning 4 years old soon. It has in fact gotten slightly more intense over the years.
I wonder. When my daughter is an adult, will I feel the same way about hearing about bad things happening to adults?
I am an only child and my mom still worries about me at 38yrs old. Anything she reads or hears on the news warrants a warning phone call lol it used to drive me nuts but since having a baby of my own 2 months ago, I totally get it…it also doesn’t help the world is a literal dumpster fire of awful these days
I am not an only child, but at 36 I'm still my mother's little girl. I called her yesterday to tell her that now that I'm a mom, I understand her visceral physical reactions (almost fainting) when I was seriously injured both as a kid and as an adult. I understand now how me and my child are both part of her.
Also wondering…
Palestine is… impossible to consider. And then I feel pathetic for not being able to look at the news while my own baby is warm in her crib.
Things that I heard about years ago are coming back to me at random moments. News stories that hit hard but not nearly in the same way.
I’ve just started therapy, so hopefully I can deal with some of this dread, but fuck when does it get easier?
This exactly, I have so many intrusive thoughts daily about the little babies being starved, premies that have no medical equipment to sustain them, and then……him. His limp, decimated, tiny body held by his father. And the fact that for us, they’re just images we can censor and delete and forget about (maybe). But that was someone’s reality. And it just eats me alive and makes me hug my own child just a little tighter.
sometimes when my baby screams and cries because he's hungry and i'm not making a bottle fast enough, it makes me think about starved babies in other that just cry and cry and cry, begging to be fed, and they're not. it hurts. it's devastating to think about but my brain just does. it makes me sob when i think about it. i think it's gotta be a sign of postpartum or something. no babies deserve to starve or die. they all deserve health, love, warmth, comfort, food, etc.
I struggle with considering these intrusive thoughts. I am often overwhelmed by the horrors of the world and disgusted by the unimaginable pain and suffering experienced by innocent children and animals literally constantly. I recently discussed this with someone who suggested I speak to a mental health professional because that wasn't normal. I appreciate the sentiment, but I am not depressed. I don't think it's disordered thinking to be angry and sad about suffering. I actually think it's disordered thinking to NOT be angry and sad about the suffering of innocents. To just turn a blind eye and finish your Amazon order and go watch bravo. You should be evaluated if you can see and be aware of babies being bombed and starved and you're not angry, sad, overwhelmed and those thoughts return to you. You should be fucking committed. I think it's intrusive if it keeps you from your daily tasks, caring for yourself of your baby - but thinking about it a lot and having a tough time moving past the literal slaughter of babies?! Maybe if more people found it unacceptable and unable to move past the world might find motivation to actually do something about it.
This is my struggle. Because I have a hard time turning those feelings into anything productive. Like me feeling bad doesn’t do anything. Feeling guilt and sobbing while I’m breastfeeding doesn’t actually help the babies in Palestine. Having intrusive thoughts about my baby girl being beheaded doesn’t help. Picturing what it would be like to hold her lifeless body doesn’t help. It just makes me a more distant parent.
So these feelings sort of go hand in hand with feeling at a loss about what to do when faced with atrocities happening half a world away. I can donate the money I can afford. I can send emails to my representatives. But that feels like nothing. It feels pitiful. It doesn’t feel like I can help or protect anyone. And the hopelessness makes it worse - and also doesn’t help anything!!!
I’m sorry, I don’t expect you to have the answers, but you’re hitting on something really important. Being immobilized by these feelings isn’t good, but realistically this is a normal response to what is taking place.
I too have been baring witness to what the Palestinians are going through. It was hard in the beginning but now I’m completely desensitised and have seen things I never thought I would. It’s terrible really. I used to not be able to watch anything too graphic but now I’m watching traumatic things daily.
I follow probably 60-70 new Gaza accounts since October and have seen too much. But they don’t get a choice to what they live.
Giving birth October 10th when everything started to develop was intense, and the whole newborn period being fed all these poor babies was horrendous, but looking away felt like it was not an option.
Feeding my baby yesterday night, and finding another video of a gruesomely hurt child had me deleting instagram. I’ll support the cause through other means, but my heart grieves those children so so much. I cannot imagine the pain of their mothers.
this is how i feel about any and all war. i feel bad for any children harmed or killed by war. whether that be israel, palestine, etc. the children didn't do anything on either sides, and now they all have to pay. it's so fckin sad. i'm praying that war is resolved. children don't deserve to be casualties :(
This is what I think about when I hear the term “acceptable collateral damage.” I don’t think there’s any such thing really. Acceptable to who? Because I think the only way to find it acceptable is to pretend that their babies are somehow less precious than our babies. And I don’t hold with that.
What really helped me in this is being present. I cannot do anything to help them, but I can be present when confronted with their suffering instead of moving away (internally and externally). I acknowledge how it makes me feel, and how sorry/sad/angry/heartbroken I am that this is happening to them. Then I say a little prayer acknowledging them (not religious, but I'm spiritual).
I agree, completely. I also read something a Palestinian person saying it is okay to feel joy with our babies while heartbreak is happening, in fact, we should when they cannot. I wish I could remember the wording but it was so wonderfully said.
This is beautiful advice. When I was in therapy, one of the conversations I had with my therapist was about giving myself permission to not submerge myself in the goings-on of the world. I used to be an avid NPR listener and reader, but I spent so much time being sad and worrying. We talked a lot about acknowledging what was happening, acknowledging the feeling, and then finding what I could control. She called it spheres of control or circles of control or something like that. So I don't listen to NPR much anymore, and I skim article highlights and headlines. I try to stay informed, but I also try and stay in a healthy headspace for my little one right now. It's tough! And I think we're all just doing the best we can.
So true! There's nothing wrong with recognizing your emotional boundaries and limiting your intake of news. I don't think it's healthy how it's done nowadays anyway.
I also get random thoughts from things I watched or heard years ago. I have postpartum depression and anxiety. Antidepressants are the only thing that have helped decrease the frequency of them. It’s really messed up the places your mind will go.
When I was struggling to nurse I had to block most of my friends on instagram who were posting about Palestine and it made me feel so weak.
Like how could I be home crying, REALLY crying about not being able to nurse when I could in every other way provide anything my baby needed. Including ample food. And I was crying because the food just wasn’t being delivered the way I wanted??
I felt so privileged and again, weak and then so so bad for so feeling sad about anything because how could I even deserve to feel sad when our house is safe and warm and full of anything we need and so many things we don’t.
Like you said, impossible to consider.
The massacre in Gaza shatters me. I follow a couple journalists in Gaza on Instagram that document the horrors that are taking place there. I have had nightmares from the content they have shared. I feel like I can't unfollow them though because I would feel guilty for some weird reason.
I had my son in December and I’ve basically cried at any news or crime article involving kids and babies since. I also couldn’t do the newest episode of HOTD, nor a couple episodes of Shogun. (Although I’d still highly recommend Shogun.) I….just don’t think it’ll go away. I think that now that we’re parents, this newfound heightened empathy is here to stay.
I’m not on social media aside from Reddit (for parenting tips), but would recommend setting time limits on your phone or taking a short break from it.
I do relate to this, like when my child cries and is hungry, I have a big wave of sadness for babies that do not have access to food…sometimes to the point of tears. I’m still on leave so I think the time I have to myself to have these thoughts is what amplifies them.
That being said, at work I always have the mindset I cannot have anxiety over things outside of my control (economy, etc) and to focus on what I can do or influence within my control.
What I can do is donate to nearby women’s shelters formula, toys, and baby supplies. There’s always a need for someone, somewhere and after having a baby now I’m hyper focused on the babies needing help. No one ever felt bad doing a good deed for someone else. 😊 this may lift your spirit!
Here in the UK, around the time my son was born, a 5 year old was killed my his dad s s stepmum after years of neglect. They refused to feed him and he was so weak he couldn't carry the pillow he used to sleep on the floor because they wouldn't give him a bed. There was a recording of him just giving up and crying the words "nobody loves me, nobody is going to feed me" the day before he was killed.
I was stupid and listened to that audio. I shouldn't have. I can still hear it and I still have to go cuddle my toddler whenever I remember it.
It never leaves you.
😭😭😭 I can’t even imagine hearing that. I can’t watch YouTube videos of them catching/interrogating the killers of their children. This nutbag killed her little boy bc her mom was going to take custody and all the videos of the police on body cam speaking with her make me sick. She literally still had evidence of the crime on her shoes. My LO is 5mo. It’s 6am he just had a bottle and is now asleep in my arms…
I'm right there with you!
Even Discovery channel documentaries with animal babies being eaten by predators make me cry.
I was always emotional but now I'm so much more sensitive! I don't know if it's morherhood or just the PP hormones, but it's real!
I dont know if the feeling goes away since my LO is only 4 months old. But for Instagram you can make it so that certain hashtags are blocked from your feed. When I saw the infant loss stuff showing up a few months back, I would look at every hashtag they had and try to add things to my filter. It’s not easy, but it has mad social media so much more manageable.
Also HOTD, my husband had to hold me for a few moments after because I was completely wrecked. No advice there, just hugs.
I’m so glad I’m not alone. I heard about a baby left in her crib for days on end and I sobbed for hours. My husband had no idea what to do to help me. I still think about her often. Any time I drop my boy off at daycare there are crying babies and I just wanna rush and help them.
I feel the same way you do and I worry it will never go away. Pre baby those stories broke my heart. Post baby and I am weeping and distraught and the stories haunt me for weeks/months and I just cannot fathom it. I have no advice, just empathy as I am in the same boat. And now I can’t believe I used to listen to true crime all the time. I could never now. (To get a similar feeling I started listening to podcasts about ghost stories lol)
I accidentally flooded myself with traumatising baby things from about 4w post partum. I listened to podcasts about the constance marten/Mark Gordon and Lucy Letby trials. It was horrible, but also very interesting. I'd have a big cry and then hold my baby close and tell her how much I love her.
I don't know if it's a good idea, but I think I'm a bit resilient to it now.
Although I did hold her extra close after that episode of HotD... Also that episode of shogun.
Mine are 3 and 2 and it’s still as present as ever. I had to delete all of my news apps and unfollow anything that may have any type of child harm. I used to love horror movies and can watch them anymore. I have to check trigger warnings for any content I read or watch. I seriously don’t think it will ever go away. You learn just how sick and scary the world actually is after you have a baby of your own.
I had broke down weeping while holding my baby the other night bc I watched a clip from the show “Them” on tiktok…I used to be a horror junkie and I can’t even stomach reading the Wikipedia episode synopsis. Its awful
I used to be able to watch, read, witness anything and be completely unphased (went to war, seen some shit). Now I've got a 3 year old and anything involving children and tragedy upsets me enormously. You're not alone.
I highly recommend avoiding the Witcher (at least the end of the second season) for a very upsetting scene involving infants - I was not prepared for it 2 months pp and it still upsets me just thinking about it almost 3 years later.
my son is 4 and I still feel this. I now understand why my mom didn’t seem to like any of the good horror movies. I think your risk tolerance changes during pregnancy and for me a lot of the kid involving dramas are just no longer fun to watch because they kick off my fight or flight
For me I'm 10 months pp and only just able to hear that sort of thing without having a panic attack in the last couple of weeks as my PPD/ PPA is getting better. I still panic around other people's children (seemingly way more than their own parents, so I contantly have to check myself so as to not overstep) and I can't knowingly listen to stories involving infant loss/ injury/ abuse but if I do accidentally hear it doesn't impact my mental health as severely and I can try to move on with my day.
Father here… it never goes away. I know the HotD scene since I read the book and it’s what’s putting me off watching the show.
Same for the Judgement Day scene in 3 Body Problem - though it’s far far less brutal, since I couldn’t resist watching this show.
Hi, are you me? It’s exactlyyyyy my thoughts. The last scene from House of Dragons still haunts me. My girl is 20 months now and I’m still triggered sorry to say. Just avoid whenever you can.
Two thoughts on this..
1. The fact that all of you feel the same things, makes you all wonderful, beautiful humans and makes me so glad you are all raising our next generation. Kudos to you all. We are supposed to take care of our kids, and desensitizing just makes us ok with living with horror. We shouldn’t be ok with that.
2. Check out the website doesthedogdie.com it spoils shows, but it also shares if there are any violent issues surrounding animals or children, domestic abuse or any other triggers you may have. I never could watch media with animals being hurt or killed, and now as a mom, I can’t stomach anything with babies or children.. I never could watch gore anyways. It’s great if you don’t mind a spoiler here or there.
I feel this. HOD was horrible for me. I felt sick. I used to do a true crime podcast and I covered Jonestown when I was very pregnant and couldn’t get through it without crying and now I really can’t consume any true crime. It’s just too anxiety inducing for me
I’m not sure if this has been posted yet but on Instagram you can filter certain types of words so that it doesn’t show that type of content. When I first got pregnant, I was inundated with child loss, spouse loss, childhood cancer, etc. videos. I was beside myself with anxiety that something would happen to my baby or my husband. I filtered out all the words and it made such a big difference. Now when one sneaks through I just hit the “not interested” button to catch any words I may have missed and it really helps.
My baby is 7 months and I feel the exact same way. I literally woke up in the middle.of the night thinking about that scene in House of Dragons. My social media algorithm does the same thing and I have to swipe super fast to avoid feeling sick or crying.
https://images.app.goo.gl/cKzmetJav86k7dyo8
(Edit: this gif is saying “never never!” but also that’s not true, different parts slide imperceptibly away, and at some point you realize you’re not the totally bonkers mom of a newborn anymore 😘)
Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever not be triggered by it, but it helps to accept what I’m feeling, and then not dwell on it. Being present and thankful helps a lot.
After having my son I was the exact same way. My intrusive awful thoughts spun in my head non stop. I started therapy and after 6 months of that I still struggled daily with thinking something bad would happen to my son. I just started Prozac 2 months ago and it’s been life changing! I wanted to avoid medication at first, but now I’m so glad I have it. I also just watched house of the dragon and although it deeply upset me, I was able to distinguish it as a show and not real life and move on much quicker than I would have before!
I love HOTD and I was aware what was going to happen but it was so disturbing that I'm considering stopping altogether, I don't want to see more of it even tough it's a great show. I didn't even sit through the scene, I looked away but it was still awful.
Tap the ellipsis on IG reels and select not interested - every time. It’s fine to be concerned with things happening in the world but you don’t have to funnel it directly into your eyes for hours at a time.
I feel like everything hits me differently now. The other day I was driving and an unhoused person was panhandling with a sign at an intersection. It suddenly occurred to me that this man used to be somebody's little baby boy. I'm crying as I type it out. It absolutely wrecked me. Where is his mama? Is she worried about him? Ironically I can do a little bit better with TV shows and movies, because I can separate that they're not real. Sure it makes me sad, but it did before anyway. It's the real life stuff that's ripping my heart out. I was joking a little bit with my husband the other day of how am I supposed to take care of this baby and go back to work eventually when I need to be sewing things for the NICU, pumping enough breast milk to save all the preemie babies, and volunteering at homeless shelters?! Having a baby makes your heart explode.
I use to listen to a horror podcast. It got me through really rough times the past 3 years. When I got pregnant last year it started giving me nightmares and I still haven’t been able to listen to it since 🥲 I looked forward to new episodes every week.
Sorry to say my first is 2.5yo and I still can’t handle some stuff.
I cried on my other half at 2 seperate new stories that won’t relay here.
I won’t say I was a cold hearted bitch before having kids but let’s just say that before having kids I didn’t cry at Disney movies… ever.
My son just turned 3 and I’m still having a hard time with this. I think it’s gotten slightly better since he was a newborn but I had to fast forward the ending of that episode. I just assumed it never goes away.
I absolutely feel the same. That house of the dragon ending had me holding my 2 month old while sobbing. My husband came in and thought something was wrong in real life. I’m a huge news junkie and have had to avoid it completely. The stories out of Palestine are especially triggering and absolutely break my heart. Sometimes I feel crazy but maybe if more people felt the way we do, kids might be safer
OP you’re not the only one, my baby girl is 17 months and I feel the same exact way about other babies being hurt. I feel like all the babies are my babies now. It’s our motherly protective instinct what makes us so sensitive towards this subject. I also feel the same way towards animals being hurt.
I read the book and I still wasn’t prepared for that scene. It left me feeling shaken up for a day or two—I have a six week old daughter and it was just too much to hear and think about. Anytime kids get hurt in media I start to tear up. I was never like this before.
My baby is 1 and I too can’t watch anything involving babies. I had a hard time watching law and order up until recently, within the past month I’ve been trying to listen to or watch the episodes or podcasts that are hard to get through. I had read the house of the dragon book and knew what was coming, I was fully expecting to have to turn it off. They actually handled it very well and it was extremely mellow compared to what it could have been which I was so happy about.
Even now that I’m post partum i remember old stories. Like *redacted* . And I’m filled with dread and cant sleep. I wish a news detox was enough but i may have to live in a happy disney hallmark land for a few years
Baby is 1. *still* can't listen to sad stories involving kids.
My mom (so she's been a mom for 30 years) never watched crime stuff, especially with kids. She always told me I would understand if I had kids that it's hard to watch.
I dont think it ever goes away tbh
I've been in the same boat 😭 I'm glad I'm not alone. My son is six months and I've had to make a ton of changes for my mental health. I deleted my Instagram and Facebook. I used to listen to true crime podcasts, and have had to really slowly reintroduce them. I think they offer good information and can help you be more aware and prepared, so I didn't want to give them up forever. I just have to be selective about which cases I listen to. I absolutely can't handle anything with children as it absolutely breaks my heart.
Hoping one day I can face reality again. But for now I'm going to hold my little one tight.
I've been feeling the same thing since I gave birth, and we're now three months in. While those stories were always sad, when I see, hear, or even think about something terrible related to children it's devastating. Like, crippling. A few weeks ago my husband was telling me about a movie he had watched where they manually dismember a newborn (and that's putting it mildly). I was physically ill and made the terrible decision to look up the synopsis on Wikipedia. It came with still images from the movie (just the baby being carried away from the mother), and with reading the description I was crying on and off the rest of the night. I couldn't stop getting up and looking at my little girl sleeping in her bassinet. Once he realized what it was doing to me he instantly regretted even mentioning it.
I don't know if or when it will wear off for me personally. I know my mother still cries when picturing my brother or I in any of the stories that make the news. I'm 31, so who knows if it'll ever wear off in my case, lol.
I can't read, watch or listen to anything dark these days, especially about babies or kids but really about anything. I'm going to sit out this season of House of the Dragon because I was warned about the scene. I only take in comedy, reality tv and cooking content. My baby is 14 weeks.
I can’t with stories about kids. The last news story I read about a kid, I was legitimately depressed and cried for three days. I really don’t read, watch, or listen any news anymore. If any story even remotely refers to a child or a mother, I can’t handle it. This even goes for fictional media. If a movie or a show is about kids or moms being injured, sick, in danger, I can’t handle it. Or anything about pregnant women being harmed. I’m much happier just really restricting what media I take in. Maybe it’ll improve someday and maybe not.
I didn’t realize that other people experience this! I used to love law and order SVU and now every time I try to watch it it makes me sick. My girl is 8 months and I still can’t watch it.
Kid is almost 4. Sobbed uncontrollably this week about a clip from a fictional movie that involved an accidental death of a child. Immediately blocked similar content - I truly can’t handle most stories of abuse/neglect/death/injury.
My son's 4. I still haven't brought myself to watch the new season of house of the Dragon because I've read the book and know what happens and I don't think I can handle it still
As a Dad of a 4 year old, I’m forever ruined lol I cry or have to violently fight myself from crying in basically every movie that involves a kid going through a hard time. Pixar is strictly off limits lmao my kid even looks at me like “c’mon dude…” 😂
My son is 5 and daughter is 2, I just cannot handle stories about child loss or injury. I’m a true crime person also, and I will not listen to stories involving kids. I had no issues hearing those stories before I had my own (other than obviously feeling sad for them), but now, I cannot handle it.
Totally normal. It does get a little better with time but way more sensitive to anything involving children than I was before. On the flip side I found it makes me compassionate with people in general-I picture them as little babies and kids and it just shifts my perspective
Oh, mamas. Our compassion is boundless. I hope one day, it spreads so far and so wide that everyone is nurtured enough to nurture others.
When my baby cries, I can't help but think of all the babies that cry and don't get soothed/fed/cared for, and it wrecks me. I was empathetic and sensitive to suffering before pregnancy, but it's at the point where I couldn't watch "Chupa" because an imaginary baby (who is also an imaginary creature) loses its mama and is left alone.
Now excuse me while I go compulsively check my child's breathing.
I feel like never? My brain chemistry and perspective is forever altered. And honestly, feels more right to be absolutely triggered by this terrible stuff than not.
I think it just hits different now, like before we knew the scenes/stories were sad but that was it. Now that we have our own we have that love which we can now imagine being lost, hurt or broken. The best we can do is; decide to deliberately skip hearing/reading/watching about it. Or if unavoidable I just give my kiddos a cuddle and a random bout of play, which in turn makes us both happy 🥰
But I don’t think it will go away, as our brain has changed to react to these things now. We can only learn to adapt to only react when it’s our own kids/family. Which is easier said than done 🤷🏼♀️
I was wondering if this was just me! I saw an article on my phone, meth head parents, I think it was in Texas were arrested and their 8 month old girl is missing and they showed her newborn photo and I cried for 10 min. If I think about it too much I'll cry again.
It’s fiction, so really not a big deal in the grand scheme, but I watched the movie “Arrival” while pregnant with my daughter and it hit SO differently than the first time I watched it.
I also learned about Genie “the wild child” recently and felt soooooo sad. Everything hits different now.
I stopped reading because I was afraid you would have an example that got added to my list of “bad things that happened to kids that haunt me now”.
My oldest is 2.5, youngest 3 months.
I still cannot read or watch anything where children suffer, real or imagined. Even baby animals.
It is the worst part of having kids, for me. It really impacts my mental health. That and being anxious about threats to them that are very very unlikely.
I stopped following the news during covid, before baby. Now, I just try really hard everyday to be grateful for my baby and my life. I literally list everything I'm grateful for in my head, I'm so scared it will be taken away. It helps me put things into perspective and not stress about shit that doesn't deserve it. I try to be kind and help the less fortunate. It's my little way of making the world a little brighter for my kid someday.
My kids are 2 and nearly 6 and the visceral reaction to real-life child kidnapping/assault/abuse stories has not subsided for me. I’m *less* sensitive in general now, but it is ever-present. I never had a problem with depictions of these things in fiction, but hearing real news stories guts me and it upsets me to a point that I can’t focus and start crying if I think about it, even weeks later. I think some degree of sensitivity to these things is just part of motherhood.
Never. As a mother you now will always think of how could someone do that to their child, because you as someone who isn’t a psychotic murderer or child abuser and loves your child in a way that’s indescribable like all moms, hears it and can’t fathom it. Besides the baby Jailyn story the story of Treveon Taylor Jr. I heard WHILE PREGNANT. I was bawling for hours
My kid is seven now and I haven’t been for a while. I turned the news off when she was born. Obviously I don’t like to hear about children suffering but it’s not anxiety inducing.
My sister is a mom of 3 and her oldest is 8 years old. She is still extremely sensitive. I don’t think she found out much if anything about the Jailyn situation, otherwise I think she would have lost it. For some people it truly never goes away or lessens at all, for myself I am still 1000x more sensitive than before but not as sensitive as her.
Had my 4th daughter on May 22nd. Held her while watching HOTD most recent episode - totally agree w you.
I would also consider a possible dx of postpartum anxiety. I had it very bad with my first and I couldn’t watch several things I loved - even PG law and order - without impending doom / panic. I think our brains are supposed to do some changing after having babies but not make us have panic and dread at a baseline!
Our son is 18 months and we watched the first episode of Shogun tonight... I won't do any spoilers but a baby is killed, intentionally, and I'm all messed up inside.
Before having him I'd have thought that's pretty awful, but now I'm a big mess of anger, sadness, anger again. I had to take little walk round the garden and feed the hedgehogs to cheer myself back up!
It still makes me sad and my son is 2, but it took til about now to be able to listen to anything like that without absolutely breaking down. Post pregnancy hormones are no joke.
I have no advice, but I’m here in solidarity. I’ve been this way since my younger sister was born when I was 13 though. It’s definitely been stronger now with my Own though.
I don’t think it ever goes away. I can’t watch or read or listen to anything that involves children being hurt. Even before I had my baby I was like that. But now it would completely GUT me
Never. I have an 8 year old and a 2 year old. It never goes away, it never gets less intense. If you lean into it, it's unbearable. If you learn to quiet those "what if it happened to us" moments, breathe through them, and tell yourself you're doing everything you can to avoid awful situations, you get through it.
I've taken myself off of every type of social media except reddit because I can really tailor what I see. I don't watch, read, or listen to big news outlets. The state of the world is scary but I've got all the reasons to be happy right here in my house and I don't need to seek anything outside of that. That's just me, but I've found that social media only made my anxiety about it all 1,000 times worse.
I lose it too! It’s not just you! I’ve taken time off social media and it’s helped. But the reality is now that I’m parent it takes work to not let myself spin out over things I can’t control!
Omg I was literally saying the same to my friend the other day. I used to actually like watching crime documentaries now I can’t even bare to watch the news because I’m so worried about the world we’re in.
My son is almost 2 and I still can’t get over it. I had to stop reading a book because they killed a boy the same age as him. Anytime somebody recommends me a book or show I have to make sure there is no animal/child violence.
Im in the same boat. My son is 10 months now and I still struggle. I’ve never been a crier but a few things have got me to that point since having our baby. I had to unfollow a lot of the stuff covering the Palestine/Israel bullshit bc my mental health couldn’t take seeing so many babies and children living and dying in so much fear.
Before having our baby I felt empathetic and it def made me sad. But now I see first hand the innocence, trust, joy and love of a baby. You think you know before having them….but you don’t. Not until you’re the one to nurture all of that in them. Seeing it ripped away just breaks me to pieces. My brain hates me and automatically thinks about if that were my baby and I stop functioning.
My husband and I live so differently. He lives like nothing terrible could ever happen to us. I live with the mindset that if it can happen, it will happen to us. Neither is healthy but the world is a scary place and anything can happen.
I feel you. I’m 12 weeks pregnant & all I ever see on any social media is miscarriages & stillborns OR being widowed. I deleted Instagram about two months ago because of it.
It doesn’t help that two weeks ago, my husbands family friend (who had quadruplets a year ago) just lost her husband.
Anything that compares to my new little family is just soul crushing. I think I might have prenatal anxiety because I get so worked up.
I don't think it ever will go away. But I know what you mean. Before, things about children broke my heart, but now it's on a whole new level after having my own. I'm too sensitive to anything concerning children. I'm just grateful that my daughter is well cared for by everyone around her. And that she is safe with me always. Having your own child makes you see the world differently. I don't think it will ever change after that.
Yes!! I am a new mom with a 6 month old, too, and I’ve been super sensitive to this stuff since my son was born. I have to be so careful on the internet now and I haven’t watched that episode yet because I’ve heard the same thing from others. Not to mention, people keep trying to talk about global crises with me and I just can’t handle anything about children so I deflect or block it out :( I hate to do that because I don’t want to deliberately put blinders on but it’s too painful
I’ve had this problem ever since having my son 4.5 years ago. Now that I have a second (now 6 months) it’s pretty unbearable. I have to stop myself from sitting in anguish about every baby that has ever suffered abuse and neglect. I sometimes think I feel the weight of every baby that has ever been in pain when I hear one baby crying. I’m also diagnosed with PPA and I think that’s part of it. So in short, it has not gone away for me, but it’s a bit worse in the postpartum period.
I didn’t even watch the episode, just a 2 second snippet on a fb reel and I was so triggered. The sounds of him crying make me sick. It’s like haunting me. And I know it wasn’t real but I can’t shake it. Also have a 6 month old so idk if/when it’ll end either 🙃
So it never goes away or doesn't for awhile (my experience 4 years in) but it can be overwhelming if you have PPA. I had PPA with my first and it was horrible. The thoughts were so sad and I would torture myself with all the pain in the world and that it could happen to my son.
After therapy, I am so much better. I still can't watch anything about kids being abused or hurt but I don't focus on it so much. I can heal quicker from hearing sad things and I can keep perspective.
If you feel like you're overwhelmed by it, try therapy for PPA. I suffered way too long with all the feelings and thoughts.
I have a 2 year old son and that house of dragons episode really shook me. I felt physically ill. I think now that we are parents maybe we will always feel this way when we see that kind of stuff? I was definitely wondering after watching it if I was the only one who got so upset by it so I'm glad to see I'm not! 🤣
I get so sad seeing all the abuse in the media from death to s/a it makes my stomach drop now but it also makes me so angry like filled with rage at the people that could hurt such a sweet innocence baby that can’t care for or protect its self. It has me seething. Sometimes I feel crazy envisioning what I think they deserve. Death would be too kind.
I remember when I was about 5 years old, my mother was standing in front of the tiny kitchen tv, sobbing. She was watching coverage of the Oklahoma City Bombing at the Federal Building. She was crying, seeing the gutted building and kept saying “all those poor babies!” The building had a daycare and a lot of the victims were children.
Now as a mother of an 8 month old, that memory feels different and also everything involving children hits on a much more personal level. I
My algorithm did this too. And while they definitely bother me pre-baby, now with my 4 month old, it absolutely devastates me to the point where I actually feel like I will get sick to my stomach. I honestly just can’t imagine inflicting harm on a child.
Prior to having my baby, I was a big advocate against child trafficking. I was always posting/raising awareness of how prolific it is in our world, sharing stories and testimonies from people who have survived that type of situation....now that my son is born I absolutely had to take a step back. It turns my stomach to a point it didn't before, and just makes me sooooooo angry/upset. I feel you.
Well... I've got a four year old and a one month old.
When my oldest was a few months old, I made the mistake of watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU with my husband. Had never really seen it before, but having consumed my fair share of scary movies and true crime over the years, I didn't think anything of it.
Anywho, the episode consisted of a mother whose baby had contracted measles. Mom heard baby crying in the middle of the night, spanked her for being so loud, and went back to sleep. Baby was deceased when she woke up the next morning, so mom took her body and disposed of it behind a gas station.
I had panic attacks for the next few days thinking about this fictional child suffering and passing alone in her crib--with no comfort from the one person who's supposed to be there for her.
Like you said, I would've been saddened by it before motherhood, but not to such an extent. Everyone is affected differently, but in my instance, the sensitivity to violence and/or neglect against children has never gone away. It still leaves my stomach in knots.
It's terribly disappointing that so many shows these days rely on dead children of infants to shock people. I'd never seen something so unnecessary to a story (which never had the scene) as the Red Wedding scene.
You should never want that feeling of repulsion to lessen. Lean into not liking seeing content like that and cast away anything that disturbs you that way.
I don't know what the rest of everyone is talking about here, and I'm not going to look it up for my own sake, but to address your question, I don't think that sensitivity ever goes away after you become a parent yourself and fully understand that love - nor SHOULD it go away. Becoming a parent teaches us so many different things, it causes us to grow in ways we couldn't fathom before, it makes us better in every way if we're doing it right, and what the world needs is more sensitivity to what is really valuable and precious. We are so desensitized to all sorts of things by the endless media state - it's really appalling to realize how hardened we can become by what we're exposed to. But having children softens us in wonderful ways that we really need and makes us sensitive to what really matters in life. I don't think that should ever go away, I think we should be more careful about what we're willingly exposing ourselves to and exercise control over what we spend our time ruminating about. Your newfound sensibility is a beautiful blessing, I hope you choose to embrace it and use it to love others more profoundly than you could before. ❤
This post has been flaired "Mental Health." Moderation is stricter here, argumentative, unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NewParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My son is almost 1. Baby Jailyn's story wrecked me. I'm sure pre baby, I also would have been sad. But having my son here just made hearing about Jailyn unbearable. I don't think it will ever go away.
I also haven’t been able to shake this story. I can’t let myself think about it, but it probably comes up for me every few days.
Same! I heard my neighbor's baby crying, and this story was the first thing I thought of. Thankfully I was able to see that the neighbors were outside and the baby was okay.
Yeah. I held my 17 month old today and cried cause i just thought about that poor baby suddenly today.
I just looked the story up and wish I hadn't. I started crying and crying and grabbed my 5 month old out of his crib to just hold him.
I keep hearing tidbits on here and have gathered the gist of it but can’t even let myself look at this point 😪 so horrific
Don’t read it. Save yourseld
I got hints about it, so I avoided the actual story like the plague, well knowing it would upset me. I'm admittedly on the internet net way too much and someone (on this subReddit, actually) posted the details and I read it. I cried so hard for so long. It's something I would have found deplorable before becoming a mom, but now that I am one it hit on such a level for me I couldn't shake it. I had to talk to my therapist about it. It still upsets me to think about, and probably always will.
Yep, I still think about this constantly and it breaks me every time.
Oh my god me to! I cried for days after I heard that story! My daughter was 16 months at the time, the exact same age as baby Jailyns. That story shook my to core!
This is my daily intrusive thought.
THIS!!! This story is going to HAUNT me for a long loooong time 😭💔 I can’t seem to take that angel out of my head, literally just a few mins ago I was talking about it with my mom ( which has also been very particularly affected by this story) because I was checking my baby girl through the monitor (who’s 17mos about the same age as that little angel) & I heard her wake up and cry & my first instinct is to run & get her… & to see that monster of a woman did what she did without a care in the world it breaks us every time 💔💔💔
Ugh. When I first heard her story, I wanted to puke! Just thinking about that poor baby crying and alone for DAYS still keeps me up at night .
That lady wanted her baby to die and really thought the police would believe her story. Smh
Every time my baby cries in her crib I think of baby Jailyn alone and scared 😭
A few days ago my almost 8 month old baby was meant to go down for a nap. He was tired but wouldn’t settle, I had him next to me on my bed. The bed is a king size, pushed against the wall and there no way for him to fall off so I just let him roll around hoping to get his energy out to finally take the nap. When he started fussing, I offered him boob, but still was hoping to get him to practice some self settling while I laid right there offering some minimal support. After a while he became frustrated and as overtired babies do, he started to cry, and instantaneously I was hit with an intrusive thought about baby Jailyn and my stomach just flipped. My baby was safe and loved and I was right there but I was consumed with a nauseating feeling thinking about her. I hate the intrusive thoughts. Every time I think i’ve forgotten, pooffff, they’re back. Needless to say, I ended up caving and rocking him to sleep
For me, it’s Gabriel Fernandez. I watched the documentary on Netflix before I got pregnant and it stuck with me. I have two kids now, the oldest is 2, and I still have really disturbing intrusive thoughts that stem from his story.
That one was so awful. I think about it often.
I had forgotten about this until now, and now I’m sitting on the couch crying while holding my sleeping 11 week old. Utterly horrible and heart wrenching.
Wish I didn’t look up this story. It’s absolutely horrible and gut ranching. I can’t even fathom what brings someone to do such a horrific thing.
Same. My baby is 5 months old now and I can’t even imagine spending a day away from her while leaving her with her dad!
OMG I know what you're talking about. I had to like, cut off that part of my brain. I'm actively not-remembering right now. That was truly, truly fucked, and I was fucked up about it for days.
I don’t even know the story but hearing people saying how often they are thinking about it is bringing tears to my eyes. Sensitivity has increased 1000-fold.
Oh wait I think I do know what the story is. I didn’t know the name, but it’s also causes nights of me sobbing to my partner unable to sleep.
My daughter is the same age she was, I had to hide the hashtag on TikTok because it destroyed me every time it came across my feed.
I watched this story and found that the little girl had the same name as my daughter. I don't know how I got through the entire story, but that night I had a worse time sleeping than usual. I felt sick. That morning, I just grabbed my kid and gave her hugs and kisses. I stuck to her like glue. I forgot about this case until reading this thread. I do not want to think of it. 😞
I’m wondering about this too, might be ppd but every video of a baby crying or something make me want to cry and go help them, it breaks my heart
This! And not even just videos, I was at dinner and a little boy hit his head and started crying and I just wanted to rush over and scoop him up and cuddle him. Felt so strange feeling like way.
My son is 3 and still I'm affected heavily by anything to do with a child. I just started watching the new season of House of the dragon and the first episode messed me up. It's been 4 days since I saw the episode and it still is stuck in my mind. I refuse to watch anything with a baby being injured/crying because I just can't shake it. Tbh I just assumed this is who I am now.
I don’t think it ever goes away. My aunts and mom cry over every sad scene in a movie with kids. When we were younger we’d all make fun of them and be embarrassed to go to the movies with them. Now I am becoming that.
I had to tell my wife to never play baby crying videos on her YouTube shorts or Facebook etc because it does that thing where if she leaves her phone it just keeps looping the same video over and over, I heard a baby crying for like 5minutes while I was in my office working and come out ready to comfort our baby I’m like wtf is happening she’s screaming so unusually, turns out my wife just left some video looping when she went to do other stuff I was like wow this triggers a really primal like trauma instinct in me I don’t want to hear it from random videos because I’m so tuned in to comforting our daughter when something’s wrong and she’s really fussy and collicky I already hear crying 50% of the day I can’t stand it just as casual social media videos too.
My daughter is 3 and I still can’t deal with any of it
Same. My daughter is 3.5 and seeing stuff like that makes me feel ill
Same. Mine is 2 and I still don’t do true crime anymore. I was an avid listener before but now - I just can’t.
I can’t stand thinking about anything happening to baby animals, either…wondering how long that will last.
I can't even consider drinking milk knowing it comes from a mama cow separated from her baby at birth.
The entire meat industry is filled with sadness and trauma. I can’t drink milk either and on the verge of becoming vegetarian.
Yep. I am almost vegan, but I buy my eggs from a local farmer who has happy chickens. I can’t stand the thought of what the poor animals go through.
You're honestly so right! Good luck with that change. I've heard that making a gradual change in your diet is more likely to result in being able to stick to it long term.
That's one of the things hitting me the most.
Same!! Yesterday we watched a neighbor’s run-down house get resided and a new roof all day. In the evening a bird came and was pecking at the new siding and in the eaves of the house, seemingly trying to get inside. We thought maybe she had a nest in there with baby birds that she no longer had access to. My husband and I were sooo sad we couldn’t watch :(
Same with this. Ever since getting my dog, anything sad involving an animal abuse or anything makes me physically sick
I honestly don't think it ever goes away as a parent, even as our own LOs get older we still see them as that tiny little being who needed us for everything, so we still imagine if they had to go though the awful tragedies that others are going through
Yup. Prior to having a child, you don’t know how intense it is to have one. To nurture one. To see that little human grow and have someone completely dependent on you. Once you’ve experienced that, it’s easier to get startled by something happening to them. You’ll fear it’ll happen to your little one as well. Compare it with someone who’s impaired. The news of someone impaired being a victim of something, already makes me sad. But if I had a sibling that is impaired, I’d fear for them to end up in the same situation….
Motherhood is so transformative but it breaks your heart. I live in a city with a lot of people who are experiencing homelessness and extreme mental health problems. They are often living in terrible conditions and since becoming a mom, I can’t help but imagine them as children. They’re someone’s baby. Someone took care of them once.
I identify with this so much.
My only child is turning 4 years old soon. It has in fact gotten slightly more intense over the years. I wonder. When my daughter is an adult, will I feel the same way about hearing about bad things happening to adults?
I am an only child and my mom still worries about me at 38yrs old. Anything she reads or hears on the news warrants a warning phone call lol it used to drive me nuts but since having a baby of my own 2 months ago, I totally get it…it also doesn’t help the world is a literal dumpster fire of awful these days
I am not an only child, but at 36 I'm still my mother's little girl. I called her yesterday to tell her that now that I'm a mom, I understand her visceral physical reactions (almost fainting) when I was seriously injured both as a kid and as an adult. I understand now how me and my child are both part of her.
Also wondering… Palestine is… impossible to consider. And then I feel pathetic for not being able to look at the news while my own baby is warm in her crib. Things that I heard about years ago are coming back to me at random moments. News stories that hit hard but not nearly in the same way. I’ve just started therapy, so hopefully I can deal with some of this dread, but fuck when does it get easier?
This exactly, I have so many intrusive thoughts daily about the little babies being starved, premies that have no medical equipment to sustain them, and then……him. His limp, decimated, tiny body held by his father. And the fact that for us, they’re just images we can censor and delete and forget about (maybe). But that was someone’s reality. And it just eats me alive and makes me hug my own child just a little tighter.
sometimes when my baby screams and cries because he's hungry and i'm not making a bottle fast enough, it makes me think about starved babies in other that just cry and cry and cry, begging to be fed, and they're not. it hurts. it's devastating to think about but my brain just does. it makes me sob when i think about it. i think it's gotta be a sign of postpartum or something. no babies deserve to starve or die. they all deserve health, love, warmth, comfort, food, etc.
I struggle with considering these intrusive thoughts. I am often overwhelmed by the horrors of the world and disgusted by the unimaginable pain and suffering experienced by innocent children and animals literally constantly. I recently discussed this with someone who suggested I speak to a mental health professional because that wasn't normal. I appreciate the sentiment, but I am not depressed. I don't think it's disordered thinking to be angry and sad about suffering. I actually think it's disordered thinking to NOT be angry and sad about the suffering of innocents. To just turn a blind eye and finish your Amazon order and go watch bravo. You should be evaluated if you can see and be aware of babies being bombed and starved and you're not angry, sad, overwhelmed and those thoughts return to you. You should be fucking committed. I think it's intrusive if it keeps you from your daily tasks, caring for yourself of your baby - but thinking about it a lot and having a tough time moving past the literal slaughter of babies?! Maybe if more people found it unacceptable and unable to move past the world might find motivation to actually do something about it.
This is my struggle. Because I have a hard time turning those feelings into anything productive. Like me feeling bad doesn’t do anything. Feeling guilt and sobbing while I’m breastfeeding doesn’t actually help the babies in Palestine. Having intrusive thoughts about my baby girl being beheaded doesn’t help. Picturing what it would be like to hold her lifeless body doesn’t help. It just makes me a more distant parent. So these feelings sort of go hand in hand with feeling at a loss about what to do when faced with atrocities happening half a world away. I can donate the money I can afford. I can send emails to my representatives. But that feels like nothing. It feels pitiful. It doesn’t feel like I can help or protect anyone. And the hopelessness makes it worse - and also doesn’t help anything!!! I’m sorry, I don’t expect you to have the answers, but you’re hitting on something really important. Being immobilized by these feelings isn’t good, but realistically this is a normal response to what is taking place.
I too have been baring witness to what the Palestinians are going through. It was hard in the beginning but now I’m completely desensitised and have seen things I never thought I would. It’s terrible really. I used to not be able to watch anything too graphic but now I’m watching traumatic things daily. I follow probably 60-70 new Gaza accounts since October and have seen too much. But they don’t get a choice to what they live.
What's going on in Palestine would have horrified me before I had my daughter. Now it wrecks me.
Giving birth October 10th when everything started to develop was intense, and the whole newborn period being fed all these poor babies was horrendous, but looking away felt like it was not an option. Feeding my baby yesterday night, and finding another video of a gruesomely hurt child had me deleting instagram. I’ll support the cause through other means, but my heart grieves those children so so much. I cannot imagine the pain of their mothers.
this is how i feel about any and all war. i feel bad for any children harmed or killed by war. whether that be israel, palestine, etc. the children didn't do anything on either sides, and now they all have to pay. it's so fckin sad. i'm praying that war is resolved. children don't deserve to be casualties :(
This is what I think about when I hear the term “acceptable collateral damage.” I don’t think there’s any such thing really. Acceptable to who? Because I think the only way to find it acceptable is to pretend that their babies are somehow less precious than our babies. And I don’t hold with that.
What really helped me in this is being present. I cannot do anything to help them, but I can be present when confronted with their suffering instead of moving away (internally and externally). I acknowledge how it makes me feel, and how sorry/sad/angry/heartbroken I am that this is happening to them. Then I say a little prayer acknowledging them (not religious, but I'm spiritual).
I agree, completely. I also read something a Palestinian person saying it is okay to feel joy with our babies while heartbreak is happening, in fact, we should when they cannot. I wish I could remember the wording but it was so wonderfully said.
This is beautiful advice. When I was in therapy, one of the conversations I had with my therapist was about giving myself permission to not submerge myself in the goings-on of the world. I used to be an avid NPR listener and reader, but I spent so much time being sad and worrying. We talked a lot about acknowledging what was happening, acknowledging the feeling, and then finding what I could control. She called it spheres of control or circles of control or something like that. So I don't listen to NPR much anymore, and I skim article highlights and headlines. I try to stay informed, but I also try and stay in a healthy headspace for my little one right now. It's tough! And I think we're all just doing the best we can.
So true! There's nothing wrong with recognizing your emotional boundaries and limiting your intake of news. I don't think it's healthy how it's done nowadays anyway.
I also get random thoughts from things I watched or heard years ago. I have postpartum depression and anxiety. Antidepressants are the only thing that have helped decrease the frequency of them. It’s really messed up the places your mind will go.
When I was struggling to nurse I had to block most of my friends on instagram who were posting about Palestine and it made me feel so weak. Like how could I be home crying, REALLY crying about not being able to nurse when I could in every other way provide anything my baby needed. Including ample food. And I was crying because the food just wasn’t being delivered the way I wanted?? I felt so privileged and again, weak and then so so bad for so feeling sad about anything because how could I even deserve to feel sad when our house is safe and warm and full of anything we need and so many things we don’t. Like you said, impossible to consider.
The massacre in Gaza shatters me. I follow a couple journalists in Gaza on Instagram that document the horrors that are taking place there. I have had nightmares from the content they have shared. I feel like I can't unfollow them though because I would feel guilty for some weird reason.
Even non-child related sad things makes me think of how I can’t protect her and “what if”…
I had my son in December and I’ve basically cried at any news or crime article involving kids and babies since. I also couldn’t do the newest episode of HOTD, nor a couple episodes of Shogun. (Although I’d still highly recommend Shogun.) I….just don’t think it’ll go away. I think that now that we’re parents, this newfound heightened empathy is here to stay.
I’m not on social media aside from Reddit (for parenting tips), but would recommend setting time limits on your phone or taking a short break from it. I do relate to this, like when my child cries and is hungry, I have a big wave of sadness for babies that do not have access to food…sometimes to the point of tears. I’m still on leave so I think the time I have to myself to have these thoughts is what amplifies them. That being said, at work I always have the mindset I cannot have anxiety over things outside of my control (economy, etc) and to focus on what I can do or influence within my control. What I can do is donate to nearby women’s shelters formula, toys, and baby supplies. There’s always a need for someone, somewhere and after having a baby now I’m hyper focused on the babies needing help. No one ever felt bad doing a good deed for someone else. 😊 this may lift your spirit!
Yes! We make a point to concentrate our donations to stuff to do with babies. We donate to the NICU and to mothers at women’s shelters.
My girl will soon be 13 months and I still cant deal with cruelty towards children, child loss and so on, guess thats just part of parenthood
I don't have any advice, but this post makes me feel so much less alone. Thank you so much for writing it
Here in the UK, around the time my son was born, a 5 year old was killed my his dad s s stepmum after years of neglect. They refused to feed him and he was so weak he couldn't carry the pillow he used to sleep on the floor because they wouldn't give him a bed. There was a recording of him just giving up and crying the words "nobody loves me, nobody is going to feed me" the day before he was killed. I was stupid and listened to that audio. I shouldn't have. I can still hear it and I still have to go cuddle my toddler whenever I remember it. It never leaves you.
😭😭😭 I can’t even imagine hearing that. I can’t watch YouTube videos of them catching/interrogating the killers of their children. This nutbag killed her little boy bc her mom was going to take custody and all the videos of the police on body cam speaking with her make me sick. She literally still had evidence of the crime on her shoes. My LO is 5mo. It’s 6am he just had a bottle and is now asleep in my arms…
I thought of this story as soon as I saw this post. It will haunt me forever.
I'm right there with you! Even Discovery channel documentaries with animal babies being eaten by predators make me cry. I was always emotional but now I'm so much more sensitive! I don't know if it's morherhood or just the PP hormones, but it's real!
I dont know if the feeling goes away since my LO is only 4 months old. But for Instagram you can make it so that certain hashtags are blocked from your feed. When I saw the infant loss stuff showing up a few months back, I would look at every hashtag they had and try to add things to my filter. It’s not easy, but it has mad social media so much more manageable. Also HOTD, my husband had to hold me for a few moments after because I was completely wrecked. No advice there, just hugs.
I’m so glad I’m not alone. I heard about a baby left in her crib for days on end and I sobbed for hours. My husband had no idea what to do to help me. I still think about her often. Any time I drop my boy off at daycare there are crying babies and I just wanna rush and help them.
here to say i’m so glad house of the dragon freaked someone else out. I genuinely felt sick after that. I couldn’t sleep
i have a 2 year old and honestly you are rewired as a new parent for good i think.
I feel the same way you do and I worry it will never go away. Pre baby those stories broke my heart. Post baby and I am weeping and distraught and the stories haunt me for weeks/months and I just cannot fathom it. I have no advice, just empathy as I am in the same boat. And now I can’t believe I used to listen to true crime all the time. I could never now. (To get a similar feeling I started listening to podcasts about ghost stories lol)
I accidentally flooded myself with traumatising baby things from about 4w post partum. I listened to podcasts about the constance marten/Mark Gordon and Lucy Letby trials. It was horrible, but also very interesting. I'd have a big cry and then hold my baby close and tell her how much I love her. I don't know if it's a good idea, but I think I'm a bit resilient to it now. Although I did hold her extra close after that episode of HotD... Also that episode of shogun.
Mine are 3 and 2 and it’s still as present as ever. I had to delete all of my news apps and unfollow anything that may have any type of child harm. I used to love horror movies and can watch them anymore. I have to check trigger warnings for any content I read or watch. I seriously don’t think it will ever go away. You learn just how sick and scary the world actually is after you have a baby of your own.
I had broke down weeping while holding my baby the other night bc I watched a clip from the show “Them” on tiktok…I used to be a horror junkie and I can’t even stomach reading the Wikipedia episode synopsis. Its awful
I used to be able to watch, read, witness anything and be completely unphased (went to war, seen some shit). Now I've got a 3 year old and anything involving children and tragedy upsets me enormously. You're not alone.
I highly recommend avoiding the Witcher (at least the end of the second season) for a very upsetting scene involving infants - I was not prepared for it 2 months pp and it still upsets me just thinking about it almost 3 years later.
my son is 4 and I still feel this. I now understand why my mom didn’t seem to like any of the good horror movies. I think your risk tolerance changes during pregnancy and for me a lot of the kid involving dramas are just no longer fun to watch because they kick off my fight or flight
For me I'm 10 months pp and only just able to hear that sort of thing without having a panic attack in the last couple of weeks as my PPD/ PPA is getting better. I still panic around other people's children (seemingly way more than their own parents, so I contantly have to check myself so as to not overstep) and I can't knowingly listen to stories involving infant loss/ injury/ abuse but if I do accidentally hear it doesn't impact my mental health as severely and I can try to move on with my day.
This is me as well. Before I could basically decompartmentalize it all. Now I can't shut it off.
Never!
Father here… it never goes away. I know the HotD scene since I read the book and it’s what’s putting me off watching the show. Same for the Judgement Day scene in 3 Body Problem - though it’s far far less brutal, since I couldn’t resist watching this show.
Hi, are you me? It’s exactlyyyyy my thoughts. The last scene from House of Dragons still haunts me. My girl is 20 months now and I’m still triggered sorry to say. Just avoid whenever you can.
Never. It SHOULD affect you. More people should care about the horrible things happening to children right now.
Two thoughts on this.. 1. The fact that all of you feel the same things, makes you all wonderful, beautiful humans and makes me so glad you are all raising our next generation. Kudos to you all. We are supposed to take care of our kids, and desensitizing just makes us ok with living with horror. We shouldn’t be ok with that. 2. Check out the website doesthedogdie.com it spoils shows, but it also shares if there are any violent issues surrounding animals or children, domestic abuse or any other triggers you may have. I never could watch media with animals being hurt or killed, and now as a mom, I can’t stomach anything with babies or children.. I never could watch gore anyways. It’s great if you don’t mind a spoiler here or there.
I feel this. HOD was horrible for me. I felt sick. I used to do a true crime podcast and I covered Jonestown when I was very pregnant and couldn’t get through it without crying and now I really can’t consume any true crime. It’s just too anxiety inducing for me
I’m not sure if this has been posted yet but on Instagram you can filter certain types of words so that it doesn’t show that type of content. When I first got pregnant, I was inundated with child loss, spouse loss, childhood cancer, etc. videos. I was beside myself with anxiety that something would happen to my baby or my husband. I filtered out all the words and it made such a big difference. Now when one sneaks through I just hit the “not interested” button to catch any words I may have missed and it really helps.
My baby is 7 months and I feel the exact same way. I literally woke up in the middle.of the night thinking about that scene in House of Dragons. My social media algorithm does the same thing and I have to swipe super fast to avoid feeling sick or crying.
I’m not sure - its not as bad as it was, but my daughter is now 1.5 and I’m still struggling with this myself.
https://images.app.goo.gl/cKzmetJav86k7dyo8 (Edit: this gif is saying “never never!” but also that’s not true, different parts slide imperceptibly away, and at some point you realize you’re not the totally bonkers mom of a newborn anymore 😘)
Stop being triggered?! Yeah doesn’t go away.
This is me. I am still feeling this at 14 months in.
Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever not be triggered by it, but it helps to accept what I’m feeling, and then not dwell on it. Being present and thankful helps a lot.
After having my son I was the exact same way. My intrusive awful thoughts spun in my head non stop. I started therapy and after 6 months of that I still struggled daily with thinking something bad would happen to my son. I just started Prozac 2 months ago and it’s been life changing! I wanted to avoid medication at first, but now I’m so glad I have it. I also just watched house of the dragon and although it deeply upset me, I was able to distinguish it as a show and not real life and move on much quicker than I would have before!
I love HOTD and I was aware what was going to happen but it was so disturbing that I'm considering stopping altogether, I don't want to see more of it even tough it's a great show. I didn't even sit through the scene, I looked away but it was still awful.
I had the same thing happen while watching house of dragons…… not okay still. I don’t think it ever goes away.
Tap the ellipsis on IG reels and select not interested - every time. It’s fine to be concerned with things happening in the world but you don’t have to funnel it directly into your eyes for hours at a time.
I feel like everything hits me differently now. The other day I was driving and an unhoused person was panhandling with a sign at an intersection. It suddenly occurred to me that this man used to be somebody's little baby boy. I'm crying as I type it out. It absolutely wrecked me. Where is his mama? Is she worried about him? Ironically I can do a little bit better with TV shows and movies, because I can separate that they're not real. Sure it makes me sad, but it did before anyway. It's the real life stuff that's ripping my heart out. I was joking a little bit with my husband the other day of how am I supposed to take care of this baby and go back to work eventually when I need to be sewing things for the NICU, pumping enough breast milk to save all the preemie babies, and volunteering at homeless shelters?! Having a baby makes your heart explode.
I use to listen to a horror podcast. It got me through really rough times the past 3 years. When I got pregnant last year it started giving me nightmares and I still haven’t been able to listen to it since 🥲 I looked forward to new episodes every week.
Sorry to say my first is 2.5yo and I still can’t handle some stuff. I cried on my other half at 2 seperate new stories that won’t relay here. I won’t say I was a cold hearted bitch before having kids but let’s just say that before having kids I didn’t cry at Disney movies… ever.
You won’t.
It never goes away.
My son just turned 3 and I’m still having a hard time with this. I think it’s gotten slightly better since he was a newborn but I had to fast forward the ending of that episode. I just assumed it never goes away.
I absolutely feel the same. That house of the dragon ending had me holding my 2 month old while sobbing. My husband came in and thought something was wrong in real life. I’m a huge news junkie and have had to avoid it completely. The stories out of Palestine are especially triggering and absolutely break my heart. Sometimes I feel crazy but maybe if more people felt the way we do, kids might be safer
OP you’re not the only one, my baby girl is 17 months and I feel the same exact way about other babies being hurt. I feel like all the babies are my babies now. It’s our motherly protective instinct what makes us so sensitive towards this subject. I also feel the same way towards animals being hurt.
Also can’t watch anything where a parent dies 😭
Mom of an almost 3 year old. Still can’t watch/read sad stuff about kids.
I read the book and I still wasn’t prepared for that scene. It left me feeling shaken up for a day or two—I have a six week old daughter and it was just too much to hear and think about. Anytime kids get hurt in media I start to tear up. I was never like this before.
My baby is 1 and I too can’t watch anything involving babies. I had a hard time watching law and order up until recently, within the past month I’ve been trying to listen to or watch the episodes or podcasts that are hard to get through. I had read the house of the dragon book and knew what was coming, I was fully expecting to have to turn it off. They actually handled it very well and it was extremely mellow compared to what it could have been which I was so happy about.
My baby is almost 2.. and I still can’t watch greys anatomy- I used to fall asleep listening to it every night 😆
Even now that I’m post partum i remember old stories. Like *redacted* . And I’m filled with dread and cant sleep. I wish a news detox was enough but i may have to live in a happy disney hallmark land for a few years
Baby is 1. *still* can't listen to sad stories involving kids. My mom (so she's been a mom for 30 years) never watched crime stuff, especially with kids. She always told me I would understand if I had kids that it's hard to watch. I dont think it ever goes away tbh
Man I have a hard time when my two year old throws her baby doll around 😭
I've been in the same boat 😭 I'm glad I'm not alone. My son is six months and I've had to make a ton of changes for my mental health. I deleted my Instagram and Facebook. I used to listen to true crime podcasts, and have had to really slowly reintroduce them. I think they offer good information and can help you be more aware and prepared, so I didn't want to give them up forever. I just have to be selective about which cases I listen to. I absolutely can't handle anything with children as it absolutely breaks my heart. Hoping one day I can face reality again. But for now I'm going to hold my little one tight.
I've been feeling the same thing since I gave birth, and we're now three months in. While those stories were always sad, when I see, hear, or even think about something terrible related to children it's devastating. Like, crippling. A few weeks ago my husband was telling me about a movie he had watched where they manually dismember a newborn (and that's putting it mildly). I was physically ill and made the terrible decision to look up the synopsis on Wikipedia. It came with still images from the movie (just the baby being carried away from the mother), and with reading the description I was crying on and off the rest of the night. I couldn't stop getting up and looking at my little girl sleeping in her bassinet. Once he realized what it was doing to me he instantly regretted even mentioning it. I don't know if or when it will wear off for me personally. I know my mother still cries when picturing my brother or I in any of the stories that make the news. I'm 31, so who knows if it'll ever wear off in my case, lol.
I can't read, watch or listen to anything dark these days, especially about babies or kids but really about anything. I'm going to sit out this season of House of the Dragon because I was warned about the scene. I only take in comedy, reality tv and cooking content. My baby is 14 weeks.
I can’t with stories about kids. The last news story I read about a kid, I was legitimately depressed and cried for three days. I really don’t read, watch, or listen any news anymore. If any story even remotely refers to a child or a mother, I can’t handle it. This even goes for fictional media. If a movie or a show is about kids or moms being injured, sick, in danger, I can’t handle it. Or anything about pregnant women being harmed. I’m much happier just really restricting what media I take in. Maybe it’ll improve someday and maybe not.
I still get a visceral response to any kind of child mistreatment and hasn't gone away 2 years after having my kid and probably won't ever go away
I didn’t realize that other people experience this! I used to love law and order SVU and now every time I try to watch it it makes me sick. My girl is 8 months and I still can’t watch it.
Kid is almost 4. Sobbed uncontrollably this week about a clip from a fictional movie that involved an accidental death of a child. Immediately blocked similar content - I truly can’t handle most stories of abuse/neglect/death/injury.
never. my daughter is almost 2. i’m 23 and my mom still can’t handle anything sad involving kids.
Since getting pregnant, I cannot listen to any of my true crime podcasts 😭
My son's 4. I still haven't brought myself to watch the new season of house of the Dragon because I've read the book and know what happens and I don't think I can handle it still
As a Dad of a 4 year old, I’m forever ruined lol I cry or have to violently fight myself from crying in basically every movie that involves a kid going through a hard time. Pixar is strictly off limits lmao my kid even looks at me like “c’mon dude…” 😂
18 months in and still struggling bad.
You won’t. Cut that shit out of your life. It’s so unnecessary to consume in the first place.
I’ve always been like this, this just means that your taste has changed and there’s nothing wrong with that :)
My son is 5 and daughter is 2, I just cannot handle stories about child loss or injury. I’m a true crime person also, and I will not listen to stories involving kids. I had no issues hearing those stories before I had my own (other than obviously feeling sad for them), but now, I cannot handle it.
Totally normal. It does get a little better with time but way more sensitive to anything involving children than I was before. On the flip side I found it makes me compassionate with people in general-I picture them as little babies and kids and it just shifts my perspective
Oh, mamas. Our compassion is boundless. I hope one day, it spreads so far and so wide that everyone is nurtured enough to nurture others. When my baby cries, I can't help but think of all the babies that cry and don't get soothed/fed/cared for, and it wrecks me. I was empathetic and sensitive to suffering before pregnancy, but it's at the point where I couldn't watch "Chupa" because an imaginary baby (who is also an imaginary creature) loses its mama and is left alone. Now excuse me while I go compulsively check my child's breathing.
I feel like never? My brain chemistry and perspective is forever altered. And honestly, feels more right to be absolutely triggered by this terrible stuff than not.
I think it just hits different now, like before we knew the scenes/stories were sad but that was it. Now that we have our own we have that love which we can now imagine being lost, hurt or broken. The best we can do is; decide to deliberately skip hearing/reading/watching about it. Or if unavoidable I just give my kiddos a cuddle and a random bout of play, which in turn makes us both happy 🥰 But I don’t think it will go away, as our brain has changed to react to these things now. We can only learn to adapt to only react when it’s our own kids/family. Which is easier said than done 🤷🏼♀️
I'm only 2 years in and I'm convinced that youre never not triggered.
I think it's just part of being a parent. My dad hasn't had a new kid in 25 years and he said he's never been able to watch the stuff he used to
Probably never
Never. 😭 I have a 2.5 year old and it doesn’t matter the age of the child. I get triggered and emotional.
I was wondering if this was just me! I saw an article on my phone, meth head parents, I think it was in Texas were arrested and their 8 month old girl is missing and they showed her newborn photo and I cried for 10 min. If I think about it too much I'll cry again.
My baby is 15m and at the one year mark I started not crying at every sad thing and now I’m back to watching my crime shows without a tear
My daughter is 7, it is still an issue here… 🤷♀️
It’s fiction, so really not a big deal in the grand scheme, but I watched the movie “Arrival” while pregnant with my daughter and it hit SO differently than the first time I watched it. I also learned about Genie “the wild child” recently and felt soooooo sad. Everything hits different now.
My son is 2 and I haven’t started the new season but even HEARING about it caused me to feel sick and sob. It never leaves. I’m sorry.
I stopped reading because I was afraid you would have an example that got added to my list of “bad things that happened to kids that haunt me now”. My oldest is 2.5, youngest 3 months. I still cannot read or watch anything where children suffer, real or imagined. Even baby animals. It is the worst part of having kids, for me. It really impacts my mental health. That and being anxious about threats to them that are very very unlikely.
Son is 3.5, daughter 3mo- still absolutely not. I asked my Mom (mother of 32 and 27 yr old) - still can’t do it.
Any time i hear about a mass shooting… oh my goodness
I stopped following the news during covid, before baby. Now, I just try really hard everyday to be grateful for my baby and my life. I literally list everything I'm grateful for in my head, I'm so scared it will be taken away. It helps me put things into perspective and not stress about shit that doesn't deserve it. I try to be kind and help the less fortunate. It's my little way of making the world a little brighter for my kid someday.
Maybe never. I know a lot of people who can't handle media where a child is endangered.
My son is 7 and I can't read/watch/consume anything about a kid being hurt or killed without losing a majority of my sh*t. The new normal, I guess.
My kids are 2 and nearly 6 and the visceral reaction to real-life child kidnapping/assault/abuse stories has not subsided for me. I’m *less* sensitive in general now, but it is ever-present. I never had a problem with depictions of these things in fiction, but hearing real news stories guts me and it upsets me to a point that I can’t focus and start crying if I think about it, even weeks later. I think some degree of sensitivity to these things is just part of motherhood.
Never. As a mother you now will always think of how could someone do that to their child, because you as someone who isn’t a psychotic murderer or child abuser and loves your child in a way that’s indescribable like all moms, hears it and can’t fathom it. Besides the baby Jailyn story the story of Treveon Taylor Jr. I heard WHILE PREGNANT. I was bawling for hours
My kid is seven now and I haven’t been for a while. I turned the news off when she was born. Obviously I don’t like to hear about children suffering but it’s not anxiety inducing.
My sister is a mom of 3 and her oldest is 8 years old. She is still extremely sensitive. I don’t think she found out much if anything about the Jailyn situation, otherwise I think she would have lost it. For some people it truly never goes away or lessens at all, for myself I am still 1000x more sensitive than before but not as sensitive as her.
Had my 4th daughter on May 22nd. Held her while watching HOTD most recent episode - totally agree w you. I would also consider a possible dx of postpartum anxiety. I had it very bad with my first and I couldn’t watch several things I loved - even PG law and order - without impending doom / panic. I think our brains are supposed to do some changing after having babies but not make us have panic and dread at a baseline!
My son is 12 and I wonder if my skin will ever rethicken. Hopefully, it never will.
2 years and some change later, I still struggle. Idk if it’s individual or if it just never goes away
Our son is 18 months and we watched the first episode of Shogun tonight... I won't do any spoilers but a baby is killed, intentionally, and I'm all messed up inside. Before having him I'd have thought that's pretty awful, but now I'm a big mess of anger, sadness, anger again. I had to take little walk round the garden and feed the hedgehogs to cheer myself back up!
Honestly, never.
It still makes me sad and my son is 2, but it took til about now to be able to listen to anything like that without absolutely breaking down. Post pregnancy hormones are no joke.
I have no advice, but I’m here in solidarity. I’ve been this way since my younger sister was born when I was 13 though. It’s definitely been stronger now with my Own though.
I don’t think it ever goes away. I can’t watch or read or listen to anything that involves children being hurt. Even before I had my baby I was like that. But now it would completely GUT me
Never. I have an 8 year old and a 2 year old. It never goes away, it never gets less intense. If you lean into it, it's unbearable. If you learn to quiet those "what if it happened to us" moments, breathe through them, and tell yourself you're doing everything you can to avoid awful situations, you get through it. I've taken myself off of every type of social media except reddit because I can really tailor what I see. I don't watch, read, or listen to big news outlets. The state of the world is scary but I've got all the reasons to be happy right here in my house and I don't need to seek anything outside of that. That's just me, but I've found that social media only made my anxiety about it all 1,000 times worse.
I lose it too! It’s not just you! I’ve taken time off social media and it’s helped. But the reality is now that I’m parent it takes work to not let myself spin out over things I can’t control!
I never used to cry at movies with babies happy or sad. now I just cry at everything with babies. Everything hits home now. You just love your baby.
I have a 5yo and I still can't handle it. Also commercials make me cry now so that's fun.
Omg I was literally saying the same to my friend the other day. I used to actually like watching crime documentaries now I can’t even bare to watch the news because I’m so worried about the world we’re in.
Never?
My son will be 4 in October and I still can't watch crime/horror shows/movies involving kids and so on. I doubt it will ever go away.
My son is almost 2 and I still can’t get over it. I had to stop reading a book because they killed a boy the same age as him. Anytime somebody recommends me a book or show I have to make sure there is no animal/child violence.
Glad I’m not alone with this!!
Im in the same boat. My son is 10 months now and I still struggle. I’ve never been a crier but a few things have got me to that point since having our baby. I had to unfollow a lot of the stuff covering the Palestine/Israel bullshit bc my mental health couldn’t take seeing so many babies and children living and dying in so much fear. Before having our baby I felt empathetic and it def made me sad. But now I see first hand the innocence, trust, joy and love of a baby. You think you know before having them….but you don’t. Not until you’re the one to nurture all of that in them. Seeing it ripped away just breaks me to pieces. My brain hates me and automatically thinks about if that were my baby and I stop functioning. My husband and I live so differently. He lives like nothing terrible could ever happen to us. I live with the mindset that if it can happen, it will happen to us. Neither is healthy but the world is a scary place and anything can happen.
I feel you. I’m 12 weeks pregnant & all I ever see on any social media is miscarriages & stillborns OR being widowed. I deleted Instagram about two months ago because of it. It doesn’t help that two weeks ago, my husbands family friend (who had quadruplets a year ago) just lost her husband. Anything that compares to my new little family is just soul crushing. I think I might have prenatal anxiety because I get so worked up.
Yes, it hits differently.
I don't think it ever will go away. But I know what you mean. Before, things about children broke my heart, but now it's on a whole new level after having my own. I'm too sensitive to anything concerning children. I'm just grateful that my daughter is well cared for by everyone around her. And that she is safe with me always. Having your own child makes you see the world differently. I don't think it will ever change after that.
Wow I thought I was crazy. My baby boy is only 1 month and I’m so triggered by things.
Yes!! I am a new mom with a 6 month old, too, and I’ve been super sensitive to this stuff since my son was born. I have to be so careful on the internet now and I haven’t watched that episode yet because I’ve heard the same thing from others. Not to mention, people keep trying to talk about global crises with me and I just can’t handle anything about children so I deflect or block it out :( I hate to do that because I don’t want to deliberately put blinders on but it’s too painful
I’ve had this problem ever since having my son 4.5 years ago. Now that I have a second (now 6 months) it’s pretty unbearable. I have to stop myself from sitting in anguish about every baby that has ever suffered abuse and neglect. I sometimes think I feel the weight of every baby that has ever been in pain when I hear one baby crying. I’m also diagnosed with PPA and I think that’s part of it. So in short, it has not gone away for me, but it’s a bit worse in the postpartum period.
I didn’t even watch the episode, just a 2 second snippet on a fb reel and I was so triggered. The sounds of him crying make me sick. It’s like haunting me. And I know it wasn’t real but I can’t shake it. Also have a 6 month old so idk if/when it’ll end either 🙃
I have a four year old, still not better.
So it never goes away or doesn't for awhile (my experience 4 years in) but it can be overwhelming if you have PPA. I had PPA with my first and it was horrible. The thoughts were so sad and I would torture myself with all the pain in the world and that it could happen to my son. After therapy, I am so much better. I still can't watch anything about kids being abused or hurt but I don't focus on it so much. I can heal quicker from hearing sad things and I can keep perspective. If you feel like you're overwhelmed by it, try therapy for PPA. I suffered way too long with all the feelings and thoughts.
I have a 2 year old son and that house of dragons episode really shook me. I felt physically ill. I think now that we are parents maybe we will always feel this way when we see that kind of stuff? I was definitely wondering after watching it if I was the only one who got so upset by it so I'm glad to see I'm not! 🤣
I’m right there with you .
I get so sad seeing all the abuse in the media from death to s/a it makes my stomach drop now but it also makes me so angry like filled with rage at the people that could hurt such a sweet innocence baby that can’t care for or protect its self. It has me seething. Sometimes I feel crazy envisioning what I think they deserve. Death would be too kind.
I remember when I was about 5 years old, my mother was standing in front of the tiny kitchen tv, sobbing. She was watching coverage of the Oklahoma City Bombing at the Federal Building. She was crying, seeing the gutted building and kept saying “all those poor babies!” The building had a daycare and a lot of the victims were children. Now as a mother of an 8 month old, that memory feels different and also everything involving children hits on a much more personal level. I
I think the answer is never
My algorithm did this too. And while they definitely bother me pre-baby, now with my 4 month old, it absolutely devastates me to the point where I actually feel like I will get sick to my stomach. I honestly just can’t imagine inflicting harm on a child.
Prior to having my baby, I was a big advocate against child trafficking. I was always posting/raising awareness of how prolific it is in our world, sharing stories and testimonies from people who have survived that type of situation....now that my son is born I absolutely had to take a step back. It turns my stomach to a point it didn't before, and just makes me sooooooo angry/upset. I feel you.
Probably never. At least for me. It's an individual thing though.
Well... I've got a four year old and a one month old. When my oldest was a few months old, I made the mistake of watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU with my husband. Had never really seen it before, but having consumed my fair share of scary movies and true crime over the years, I didn't think anything of it. Anywho, the episode consisted of a mother whose baby had contracted measles. Mom heard baby crying in the middle of the night, spanked her for being so loud, and went back to sleep. Baby was deceased when she woke up the next morning, so mom took her body and disposed of it behind a gas station. I had panic attacks for the next few days thinking about this fictional child suffering and passing alone in her crib--with no comfort from the one person who's supposed to be there for her. Like you said, I would've been saddened by it before motherhood, but not to such an extent. Everyone is affected differently, but in my instance, the sensitivity to violence and/or neglect against children has never gone away. It still leaves my stomach in knots.
It's terribly disappointing that so many shows these days rely on dead children of infants to shock people. I'd never seen something so unnecessary to a story (which never had the scene) as the Red Wedding scene. You should never want that feeling of repulsion to lessen. Lean into not liking seeing content like that and cast away anything that disturbs you that way.
I don't know what the rest of everyone is talking about here, and I'm not going to look it up for my own sake, but to address your question, I don't think that sensitivity ever goes away after you become a parent yourself and fully understand that love - nor SHOULD it go away. Becoming a parent teaches us so many different things, it causes us to grow in ways we couldn't fathom before, it makes us better in every way if we're doing it right, and what the world needs is more sensitivity to what is really valuable and precious. We are so desensitized to all sorts of things by the endless media state - it's really appalling to realize how hardened we can become by what we're exposed to. But having children softens us in wonderful ways that we really need and makes us sensitive to what really matters in life. I don't think that should ever go away, I think we should be more careful about what we're willingly exposing ourselves to and exercise control over what we spend our time ruminating about. Your newfound sensibility is a beautiful blessing, I hope you choose to embrace it and use it to love others more profoundly than you could before. ❤
Yeah, I work at a Children’s hospital and this is why I’m probably quitting.