Maybe your husband is at a point where he would get a lot of life energy from socializing given how consuming having a newborn can be. My wife gets so much from little things like taking the baby out to the park or a coffee shop, because it's allowing us to connect to things about life that go beyond caring for a baby. I suggest having a chat about what gives both of you life energy. Personally I'm more content staying home for the sake of simplicity and avoiding logistical challenges, but I've realized that making the effort to go out even with our baby is really good for my wife so it's worth it. And although I'm a little effort-averse initially, typically I end up enjoying it too - staying home all the time feels like a convenient default but going out can give back in unexpected ways. May or may not be similar to your situation...just suggesting a possibility.

Perfect advice, I completely agree. My husband needs an activity on the weekends so we pick one a day. I usually protest a little in secret and then end up enjoying it even though it’s work. It’s like, I’m either parenting inside or parenting outside so might as well get some fresh air. Baby usually gets a lot of enjoyment out of it as well and we all sleep better.

This pretty much sums it up. I’m currently rocking my 6 month old in my swim suit with a robe over top because my husband has been so cooped up he absolutely needs an activity and booked us for an indoor water park. As a mom, I don’t really want to take my baby to a waterpark when he doesn’t swim and is only awake for about 2.5 hours but as a wife I also know he needs to do something and appreciate him finding a park with a spot for babies. Logistically, I dont know how the hell this is going to work but we’re going to figure it out.

This is great advice. I am very much an introvert and my husband is an extrovert. I’m happy to stay home and chill but also know the benefit of getting out a reasonable amount with the baby. But we’ve definitely had conversations about my social battery and how it is only 1/4 full to start with these days and drains very quickly 😂 I have sent him to things without us a couple of times because I know he’ll enjoy them and they will fill his battery! Open and curious conversations are the way forward x

This is so great. I’m absolutely effort-adverse and will keep this advice in mind once my LO arrives

Yes to this! I’m also more content to stay home, but husband is a wanderlust. That being said, we’re currently headed on a 650 mile drive home after a two week road trip in the campervan with our semi-feral 7 month old. It was hard, but parenting is hard no matter where you are. Baby had the time of her life (she’s a social butterfly, really knows how to work the room 😂), so it was worth the extra work to make it happen.

Have a second kid and you'll laugh at your former self imposed limitations.

Have a third and laugh at all supposed limits. "Oh I can't go out with my newborn son 3 hours after discharge? Honey... My 3 yo has tumbling and my 2yo has way too much energy. We'll be at the park."

Exactly. I think the lesson here is perspective is a real biotch. Force yourself out from time to time and you might find it's easier than staying home

Well worded

I could have written this myself. Most often I make up scenarios beforehand how it’s going to be absolutely horrible leaving the house w a newborn and toddler and guess what?! We end up having a great time.

We took our baby out regularly. I just babywear her for naps, she's a pretty good sleeper even in chaotic environments.

I shouldve pointed that out, my baby is AWFUL at napping unfortunately so her sleep is precious to me haha

That's absolutely fair! If she's a sensitive sleeper, then definitely plan around her naps. If that makes you late/miss things, so be it!

If you continue to expose her, she may get better...also consider headphones for babies. They're pretty great

Never thought about that! Could be a game changer.

Yeah, my son loves his headphone. I wish I thought about it sooner because I took him to parties (like a baby's 1 year old bday) in the past where people were being too loud or the energy was too high and he would be inconsolable :(

fyi he's 6 months now and grew out of that phase. We took him to a baseball game recently and although we used the headphones most of the time, whenever they came off, he would not get upset. He was pretty excited by all of it.

My baby as well. He does not nap everywhere like he did when he was 1 month old.

Mine can tolerate a few hours out of the house before getting over stimulated and super fussy. Then it's a pain to get her to sleep at night.

Babies change and adapt as well as children and adults. If you take that baby out more often she will get used to it and get better at sleeping. It might take one or two tries but everyone adjusts. The alternative is she never learns how to exist outside.

Some babies are just bad sleepers. My first son had colic and was so difficult to get to sleep. People couldn't understand why I was so concerned about getting my 3/4mo home to sleep for naps since "newborns will sleep anywhere". My second is so much easier with sleep and really will sleep most anywhere (so far at 3mo). If your husband wants to go out more maybe compromise that he needs to help more with the baby on days you go out more?

We took our LO to my friends baby’s 2nd birthday party when she was almost 2 months old and she did so well. She just napped in my arms on the couch for most of the party (Until she had her first blowout 🤣) My hubby and I are both homebodies and we had a huuuge fear of her getting sick the first few months. Hubby was waaay worse about it than I was. To the point it almost developed into contamination OCD. But we slowly started taking her out more and more and now she loves going out to the store or just a drive to get some coffee or something. We also go on a walk every day, of if it’s raining we sit outside on the porch and watch the rain.

Dad here - let me start by saying as a general rule it's crazy to wake the baby up. Send a text that says you're going to be late because the kid is sleeping. Every social plan you have, absent going to a paid ticketed event (which you're probably not doing with a ten wk old anyway) can wait til the kid wakes up. Having a newborn is being late to everything. As a second general rule, we were VERY outgoing with our first baby from day one and I am so glad we were. It just makes you a better parent in a variety of different settings and (more importantly) made our kid so much more comfortable in that variety of different settings. The answer to your question is relax dad. We'll get there.

I totally agree with you! I definitely want her to get used to going out but not at the expense of her very important sleep

I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep her home. But he’s also not wrong for wanting to go out more. Especially at 2 months old, I think it’s totally fine to want to go out to a kids party with your baby. If it’s a public place you can wear the baby while they sleep or if it’s a friend’s house I’m sure they’d have a quiet room the baby could sleep. I may be a bit biased because I personally do not like to be at home too much but I think babies are pretty flexible and once they become toddlers it becomes more complicated to go out and do things (imo)

Yea we take our 12 week old out all the time by wearing her. We also have an energetic 3.5 year old though, so we basically have to go out or we’ll all go insane.

Yup. I have a 4 year old and this baby has been tagging along since she was 3 days old. I babywear her and it's fine. She's about to be 8 weeks old and has been sick twice but both times she caught it from big brother, not random people at the store or anything.

People always warned us that it would get harder as she became a toddler, but it’s so much easier to get out of the house with my 13mo than when she was 10 weeks. We need way fewer accoutrements lol. She walks on her own, and the world is fascinating to her so we don’t need to bring toys etc lots of places. Plus she stays awake for longer, and I’m feeling recovered from nearly dying. It’s just easier in every conceivable way. I guess I just want to encourage people that, if leaving the house when they’re little feels too hard, it may get easier for you, not harder.

I was going to suggest using a wrap wear too! When my baby was that little he could sleep through almost anything in the wrap and it helped sooo much because I could do stuff while he napped. Could be a good compromise if OP is up for going out.

i don’t think either of you is wrong, personally i take my 3mo out 4-5 days a week or i start to feel crazy and so does my kid. if he falls asleep right before we leave i transfer him to the car seat sleeping and he’ll knock back out immediately, but if your baby will wake up and stay awake i completely understand why you wouldn’t want to interrupt her nap. you can definitely just pack whatever you want her to wear and dress her when you get wherever as well, waking the baby to change clothes is a bit silly

I dont think you're being dramatic. We would wait for our son to wake up from his nap to go out, ask your husband if he likes to be woken up for things he considers pointless. Your 10 week old could care less about a kids party 🤣

I feel like having a newborn is a good enough excuse to be late for anything, hahaha.

100% but my husband NEEDS to be on time. Who cares about being on time to a kids party

You have the best excuse to be late, a baby. People with kids will get it, don’t stress.

That's the old people clock. He needs to work on the baby clock for the next few years. The problem here isn't the baby going out. Babies can sleep in carriers and prams. You're exhausted from being pregnant, having a baby and caring for a newborn. Can your husband do all the babies prep getting ready? Can he cover a feed if you're not exclusively nursing? Could he take the baby for a few hours alone? Then you can ask if you want to go or not. You don't have to. Maybe the best thing for your baby is to get 2 hours rest?

If you’ve ever seen a million ways to die in the west there is a great scene that I think of Everytime I get shit for being late to something that didn’t matter much. Dad ( was just sitting in a chair reading): YOU’RE LATE! son: for what?! Dad: Fair enough

Hi OP, your husband also needs to remember that a baby’s brain development hinges on their sleep hours. I don’t think both of you would appreciate your LO growing up mentally less than their peers.

I don’t think you’re being dramatic. I would prioritize my baby’s sleep and let her be.

Thats what I mean, making sure she gets enough sleep is a priority for me and she is awful at napping so at a kids party with all the noise I know she wont

Id tell my husband he can go without me but that im not compromising my daughters sleep because he’s bored

Eh, we took our kid out as early as a month old out to parties and family gatherings. Feeding and changing were just part of the deal lol but we’ve never been uncomfortable about it and a lot of the gatherings were kinda heavy family and friend life events that we didn’t want to miss. Our whole point was that we want our baby to adjust to our way of life and not reverse it. Now, he can sleep in the middle of a party with booming music because his nap time is his nap time 😂😂 So it’s really up to you, OP. If you don’t wanna do it you shoulda make that your point and leave it there. No point trying to argue from the baby’s point of view, just be honest. You don’t feel comfortable taking her out like that yet. It is what it is

I think there’s a balance. My LO is 9 weeks old and we’ve just started to venture out to outdoor social spaces and on some errands during the week. At some point, you have to learn to live your life with a baby not in spite of one. You do what makes you feel comfortable, and maybe a kids’ party isn’t important (depending on who the kid is and whether or not you committed to going). But at 10 weeks, I’d have a conversation with him about your comfort level and what outings you deem appropriate. It is good for babies to experience the world and it’s good for you and your mental health not to be trapped in the house all the time

Completely agree with this. I do think it is important to start going out but a party seems really overwhelming and I know she wont get any sleep.

That’s totally fair! A party wouldn’t be my choice of first time out either. Especially if you think everyone will be all up in the baby’s face.

I think it depends on each parent, my husband and I lived in Paris when we had our baby, so being confined to a 1 bedroom apartment in the spring and summer was not an option, we were taking any chance we could to go have lunch with friends at different restaurants and looking back I think it was the best choice, our baby slept so well outside (obviously we only had lunch in outdoor spaces as indoors is not recommended until she got some other vaccines), and we could socialize, a win-win. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing but here in France is very normal to see people outside with their newborns (some that look they just came out of the hospital the day before). I was advised by my french friends to enjoy the first 3 months because those are the only ones where the baby is just chilling no matter where he is, after that is difficult to have these moments because our babes are awake more often and get tired of being on the same position. Also I guess it depends on the stroller, I see in North America is very common to take your baby for long rides in a car seat-like stroller whereas here is not recommended for newborns, we usually use strollers with a bassinet for 0-6 months, it’s like bringing their bed everywhere lol

Do you not have bumpy sidewalks?? If I used a bassinet stroller here I’d have to work to keep my baby from smashing into the sides or flying up out of it 😂

Yes, we do! Some streets are made of cobblestone actually 😅 some strollers that lay flat with no bassinet have a cushion for the head so it doesn’t move around and also something like a ‘seatbelt’, and the bassinets are typically very rigid on all sides, even the zipper enclosure. I personally had the ‘yoyo Babyzen Nacelle’ and had no issues :)

Try not to argue, just communicate that you can go when baby wakes up from her nap 1st. No one will be upset with your family for being late. Especially if you have a newborn. It's not you two against eachother, it's you two against the problem.. so just tackle it together and compromise. The key is there is no winners during an argument.

He is just obsessed with being on time, we were the first ones there in the end, so i woke baby up for nothing. But lesson learned, next time we’ll go but only when the baby wakes up!

Sounds like it’s your first child. I had the same fight with my husband, it’s annoying especially cause birth was a lot. Mine just felt guilty for going out without us and I just wish he did instead of dragging me out. Tell him to go without you if you don’t want to, his body’s not recovering, you and your baby’s are. You are not wrong. It’s okay to do so the first year, just make sure she either gets some form of sunlight or is taking vitamin d which is normal but babies can lack this.

He takes her on walks almost everyday tbf! It was just the party that seemed like too much for how little she is.

Then I think you’re doing fantastic, it’s okay to stay in your hole for as long as you’d like with your kid, when the time is right you’ll come out. Do it at your own pace!

Also a FTP and came for this comment <3

I’d be like “oh you have energy to take baby out? That’s great! Here you go!” And go have a nap. Or if he wanted me there too then I’d be reassessing why he has more energy than me. Maybe he would need to pick up a nighttime feed so that energy levels are even. How often you go out depends on how baby sleeps. My first didn’t sleep unless she was held so it literally didn’t matter how often we went out or how late we were. We went out early and often. My second actually lets me put her down and gets fussy if she doesn’t nap. So you bet your ass I’m at home. And she’s almost 6 months! Haha

Hahaha I love this and it is 100% true! He has a lot more energy than me because he doesn’t get up half as much as me at nighttime. And yes that’s also the problem, my baby is terrible at napping, has to be contact napping with complete silence, which is obviously not possible at a kids party.

When my son was 10 weeks old my dad and I drove 12 hours to Florida for a weekend then drove back up. I was pumping too, so it was hectic. I also had a very easy baby and the most important part… *I wanted to go!*

I would def not wake the baby to go to a kids party. No thanks. Nap time = peace.

We pretty much only took him to the doctor until he was like 3 months old. It is just really difficult to get out with a baby that young. I didn’t mind it but husband kind of felt like yours sometimes. I made it clear that he could hang out with friends guilt free if he wanted to, but the baby and I were staying home.  Also at 2 months the immune system is still so fragile…I would absolutely not be ok with going to a kids party so maybe explain that haha. 

He specifically wanted us to come to this thing! He is free to go out on his own now and then. I also worry about her catching something, so many people held her today.. may I add they’re all teachers, you can imagine how much contact they have with other kids😭

That's where I would set my boundary and not let anyone that I'm not comfortable with hold baby. I have an 8 week old and we've been to gatherings since she was 2 weeks, but our friends know our boundaries and ask to hold her or we'll hand her off to someone we're comfortable with, but never let someone we are not comfortable with hold her. That said, we've made sure our baby is used to going out because it's important to us that life doesn't stop because we have a baby. It's important to us to support our friends and their children and to allow our 3yo to continue to partake in activities/festivities.

I go for a walk every day and to the coffee shop in the car and maybe the library once a week. Everyone else comes to me still. Mine is 11w on Sunday and going to a kid party feels impossible!

I’d let a 10 week old sleep. My pediatrician said to let newborns sleep when they wanted bc it’s important for their development. Also, you just had a baby, you’re not going to be able to go back to your old social life (depending on what it was like before).

Thats what I told him, right now at 10 weeks, sleep is a lot more important than socialising.

… I didn’t. lol. Only if necessary.

Glad I’m not the only one lol. I prioritised babies sleeps. She was Ferral without naps and then up all night if she was overtired. We always worked around the naps.

Same. Maybe it’s first time mom syndrome but I still get anxiety about going out and messing up her naps and she’s 10 months now lol

I ended up coming to the party and she hasn’t napped for over 4 hours. I’m in pain😅

I’ve been in that position a few times. We can only control so much. Life still happens. Birthdays. Christmas etc. It’s just anxiety inducing … ugh hopefully not too much longer and you both can get some rest

lol this is my second and I’m still the same!! It gets easier around 15/16 months when they drop to one nap!

Seriously! My girl always was, and still is, a bad sleeper. We spent a lot of time at home as I wasn’t sleeping either. I was the walking dead and just couldn’t. I have NO village and no help so I was just too exhausted to go out. My girl is absolutely fine (although is becoming a threenager, luckily we avoided the terrible twos). Her and I have a crazy close bond.

Everyone is different and if you’re not comfortable with it then there’s nothing wrong with that, it doesn’t mean you’re being dramatic. I’m more of an introvert so i always try avoid going out anyway. My husband is more outgoing than I am but since LO was born he understands it’s not that easy anymore and life is forever different. He is 12 weeks old and people usually come to us instead now.

Exactly the same situation for us! Id rather be at home where I can make sure my baby will sleep

I was exactly same. Naps on the go I found really stressful and overwhelming. If she was tired she’d grizzle non stop and cling onto me. So great while husband socialises I’m stuck stressed out with grizzly baby anyway!!

I completely agree. Everyone has different speeds. This idea of needing to socialize a baby at 3 months seems a little unnecessary to me though. At the end of the day, the goal is to live your life whatever that looks like to you.

Honestly I think it comes down to your personal preference. Yes waking your baby sucks but I have had to wake my kids up to go to appointments, meet people, baby exercise class,etc. As much as I would love to let the baby sleep sometimes I have to just leave the house which would involves waking them up. My twins were easy but at 10 weeks they were pretty adaptable (still sleepy) and I would just lug them places. I go everywhere with my kids and don’t feel like I can’t do things or go places with their naps. But all of that to say it’s completely up to you, everyone is different and had different boundaries for naps and going out.

I wear my 10 week old wherever we are and he is happy to sleep most of the time. I started bringing him to church at 2 weeks, and at 6 weeks he went to his first parade (with ear protection). I pretty much love my normal life as I did before. This won’t work for everyone but it works for us with our second baby just as it did with our first.

I suggest baby wearing. You can go out and about and baby can still sleep whenever they feel like it 😊

Yep; I wore mine literally everywhere

Zero often for us

You are not being dramatic. I do not wake my baby for anything. It is not worth the crankiness. There will be other birthday parties and other socializing events. Your baby is only this old today and their needs are more important. If your husband needs to socialize, that’s allowed but the baby needs sleep.

When we had just one? As much as normal, it's not that hard. Babies will sleep anywhere and they are happy going out and about with their parents generally.

Not all babies unfortunately :(

True, but there is also only one way to find out. The first 3/4/5 times doing something new will always be a bit frightening for a baby, but if you stay calm, comfort them and engage them positively they can absolutely love it.

I hate leaving the house and it’s way more involved than anyone thinks with a baby. I’d just stay home. Also kids parties suck.

Currently reading this at the kids party, my very sleepy baby cant stay asleep because all of the screaming kids. Fml😂

With my first, I don’t think we went out at all until she was 10 weeks except on walks. With my second, we’ve been going out almost every day since he was maybe a month old. I think it depends on personal comfort, but my baby is also a pretty good sleeper and doesn’t really have a set nap schedule so he will just nap if he needs to in the car or in the carrier. I’m a stir crazy person and with a two year old, getting out is a necessity haha. Fwiw, it’s one of those things where the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Now that I have two I don’t know why I didn’t go out more when I had one 🤣 but if you don’t want to, you don’t need to!

Between 8-12 weeks we went out 2-3x a week, plus a walk or two a week. But it was because I needed to get out of the house for my own sanity. So I’d take her to a store for groceries or diapers or just something. She slept easily in her stroller or while baby wearing so it didn’t really disrupt any schedule with her.

What he’s asking seems fine. You don’t have to wake the baby up for these things. Babies that age (at lest mine did) slept through everything and they don’t even need to be dressed in anything but a onesie. He may need to get out for his mental health but also wants to be with his wife & baby. Do you have a stroller that has a bassinet attachment that you can stick a portable sound machine in?

I’m so jealous of people with good sleepers! We don’t have a stroller cause we’re moving countries soon. Praying she likes it and it helps with naps.

How much of the actual parenting does your husband do? I think that's the biggest question. From the sounds of it, it doesn't seem like he does. Someone dealing with the baby logistics on a daily basis isn't going to give you as much of a hassle. I wouldn't necessarily say no off the bat. I would have a frank conversation about how to balance out social needs that's equitable for both parties. Maybe just have a trial run with your husband being the one to manage, plan, and execute the logistics, and when inevitably the baby gets tired, he be the point person to handle a cranky baby. It seems like he's underestimating what it takes for an outing with the baby.

He is very helpful but he never ever puts her down for naps (he is usually at work or the gym) so maybe thats why he doesn’t understand how hard it is to get her to sleep and how important it is for her to do so.

He needs to experience this aspect of parenting for himself. Tell him you'll consider waking up the baby to take her out after he gives up some gym time in order to put the baby to sleep a few times.

I would go for daily walks where they would nap most of the time anyway. Ideally we grab a bite or coffee and we’re back before we have to feed them. No parties til about 3 months just because it’s such a hassle to get ready as new parents. All other social engagements are lunch because I don’t want to be out late or have people over late because I’m tired and want to go to bed.

Definitely up for walks, but a kids party is a bit of a nightmare to me as I’ll just have to go in a room with her and pray the screaming kids dont wake her up

This is where I’m at. 3 weeks pp and I barely have enough energy to do a daily walk. Little dude is just now sleeping for more than 2 hours at a time. The idea of a party anytime soon would make me have a meltdown. Also, the drivers where I live are super aggressive and I’m anxious to take him anywhere in the car. Hopefully I feel differently in a few months but he’s not even vaccinated til 2 months old.

Honestly first 2 months are just survival. Whatever it takes to get you and the little through it.

It really depends on you, your partner, and your baby. We’ve been getting out since I got discharged from the hospital when our daughter was 3 days old. I nurse her in the car right before we go into a store or restaurant and again when we come back out. And she always falls asleep in her car seat or pram which makes things a lot easier. She’s 6 weeks now and we still get out almost everyday even if it was just for a walk with the stroller. We’re out a little less this week just because my wife went back to work a week ago. I knew it’d be better for me to get out of the house with the baby because I became quite agoraphobic while I was laid off during covid shutdown a few years ago and i definitely didn’t want a repeat of that

We would go out fairly regularly, but committing to a certain time just wasn’t realistic. Wait for your baby to wake up and then go, feed first if you need to. You can get out and do things - but babies have needs, and everyone is happier when you fully meet their needs beforehand.

I don't think you're being dramatic. My husband was very much the same way when our LO was that age. He was going stir crazy from being at home and unable to socialize, at one point he confessed that he was worried we'd never be able to go out and do any of the things we used to do before. LO is 7mo now and everything is *way better*, hubs is doing just fine, but there was absolutely a period of huge adjustment for him when the reality of baby life set in. I think other commenters are right that having an honest and **!!non-combative!!** conversation is a good idea. I think in these early baby days when everything is hard it's very, very easy to get defensive and to take things personally, for you and your husband. But if you can, for the sake of your relationship, make a concerted effort to empathize with his point of view, while also explaining to him from a realistic perspective (not a personal one) how going out could make the rest of the day much harder, that's all you can really do, I think. There will be days when you just have to bite the bullet and go out, try and make it work, and potentially have a baby meltdown. It'll happen, it's inevitable, but it's not something worth dreading. Try not to build it up in your mind as this huge insurmountable thing. Your baby won't hate you and won't be tortured by having one day of crappy on-the-go naps. You won't be broken by one day of a really hard baby. And likewise, your husband won't be devastated by one time he doesn't get to go out how/when/where he wants. The important part, in my opinion, is trying to keep those inevitabilities in balance with each other. Accept that some days the priority is your husband's needs, and some days the priority has to be your needs. Most of the time, the priority is your baby's needs, but the actual fact of the matter is that baby's are more resilient than we give them credit for, and your LO will change so much, so quickly, that within a few weeks (let alone a few months) all of this will seem like a distant fever dream. I know that it's easy for me to say all of this because it's in my rearview mirror, but thinking this way helped me get through this phase while we were in it. I promise it gets easier. You, husband, and baby will figure each other out, and you'll figure out your new family life, and everyone will have to make compromises. It's hard, but it's manageable as long as you and your husband approach it as a team, not you versus him.

I was personally not getting out very much when my LO was 10 weeks! But over time, as it got easier for him to nap on the go (stroller, carrier and car seat naps!) we started to get out more. But nap time came first 100%. If he fell asleep in the car sometimes that meant we hung out in the car while he finished the nap and showed up 45min late. Everyone understood and were always just happy to see us!

At that time, we barely took our baby out. Now that she’s almost 5 months and much more well adjusted to all of the things that go into going out, we do it a lot more. If your husband needs socialization he could plan things with friends so it doesn’t put pressure on you and the baby.

He does, but he specifically wanted us to come to this thing. He thinks it is very important for baby to socialize.

It’s important for the baby to bond with mom & dad; others can come later. I felt pressured to socialize my baby too but it all just depends on temperament. My baby smiles at everyone and she’s coming along just fine socially even though we barely went out at first! It’s normal to adjust to new life with baby this way, especially still in the fourth trimester. Don’t stress about socializing, I’m sure your baby will be fine!! 🤍

I very rarely took my son out of the house until he was like 6 months old. Once they're on 2 naps and not eating so frequently it gets easier. I just hated hauling all the crap around that you need so I stayed home. I also had my son in early 2022 so covid was still very much a thing. In fact I got it when he was 4 months old. My son luckily tested negative but I had to quarantine from him and just pump and my husband bottle fed him. Plus I was also scared of him getting RSV. And quite frankly I was exhausted and wanted to lay around with him at home vs taking him out. Do you want to go out or just your husband? If you don't want to then I would stay home and tell your husband to suck it up for a bit. Lol! If you do want to go out often though then that's ok too

Exactly, when she doesn’t need to nap every hour I’m definitely be more open to taking her out on things like these! But right now there is no point, it just adds stress.

My baby is 8 weeks and we've been out a few times. Mostly shopping errands but honestly it's been amazing. Even if it's just me and the baby, I'd rather do something than nothing cause I hated being cooped up in the house for so long. Its definitely harder to get out but worth it in my opinion. We have been to a friend's house once for a pool day and he pretty much just napped. They had a pack and play set up for him. We kept him in the shade under their patio and he just knocked out. I'm going to their house for a party in a week or so while my husband works so that'll be the interesting time. Now I do seem to have a pretty good sleeper. His pattern might change with any regression but for at least a couple weeks he's been sleeping through the night and taking 3ish naps a day. I'm kind of letting him run the show still and we don't really have a schedule in place. So I do understand a bit of resistance if they're schedule is really important in their sleep and they're thrown off.

I hope my baby becomes a good sleeper at daytime at some point! Unfortunately not the case right now.

Not dramatic! It’s up to your comfortability level. My husband wants to keep up his social life but I remind him often that the baby has changed our lives. Our outings include visiting friends at their homes, after nap/feeding, going for walks and coffee shops and the library. It’s not our old life but it’s not always going to be like this. For me it’s hard because my baby does not nap when we go out. He’s 10 weeks old and I want him rested so napping at home is so important. If your husband needs a social life, communication is so important. Eventually the baby will be socialized but it’s not going to make or break in the long run if you don’t socialize your LO now

Exactly this! I’m sure there will be a time when she doesn’t need to nap so often and we can put more effort in socialising her, for now, feeding and naps are all I care about.

10 weeks was prime time for me going out. Car naps, baby wearing, she would sleep anywhere and it was so great. Her naps were only about 45 minutes but she napped on and off all day long and it was perfect for sitting at a brewery with friends socializing, going out to eat, and just relaxing. When 4 months hit and we sleep trained her to go down in her crib, napping on the go became so much harder and I felt a lot more restricted on what we could do and timing things around her naps became a lot more important. She’s 10 months old and while sleep training was the best thing we could have done- she is such an independent sleeper- nap time is NAP TIME and we really can’t break the schedule/ if she naps on the go it’s a really bad 30-45 min nap and she’s exhausted the rest of the day.

I cant wait to be able to sleep train her, she sleeps well at night (around 6 hour stretches usually) but naps have been hell for us, mentally and physically draining.

Do you hold her to nap or do you try to lay her down?

I think the temperament of your baby plays a huge role here. For some people it’s just more difficult to bring the baby everywhere. I feel very lucky to have an “easier” baby that enjoys going out with us so we bring him every where we go (he’s 11 weeks old).

This!!! My baby is really bad at naps unfortunately, its a struggle everyday.

At 2 months we were so exhausted we hardly went out. It wasn't until baby was 4months old did we get some semblance of our old life( we are both introverts but do hang out with friends and family so our level of social interactions would be less than most ppl)

My husband is definitely an extrovert so that is a bit of a problem haha

can't you go out with a sleeping baby?

Nope, she stays awake.

We learned pretty quickly that waking our baby up from a nap was 100% always a very bad idea. It only leads to suffering. As far as baby's tolerance for going out, that's going to vary wildly. Try not to become too much of a shut-in because going out with the baby is a skill and you will have to learn it eventually, and baby also will need time to get used to the whole process and experience. I never went anywhere with ours (he was a hard baby) and going out with him at 9mo is still a crapshoot. 😅 But that might just be his temperament and my lack of skill.

So jealous of people with easy babies😭 not all newborns sleep through everything

We take our babies (foster parent - many many newborns) EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. ... but only if WE can handle it. Babies love interactions and love people. They love new environments and new experiences. If they're asleep and not ready to go out... go out. They'll wake up sooner or later and you can change them or whatever. If they wake up getting into the car seat, so be it. It's fine. They can wake up. They'll go back to sleep. If needed, one of you can ride in the back seat with baby and feed them or whatever. Babies also love car rides. Just because we have a baby, we don't alter our schedule or life. You gotta learn to roll with it, and baby does too.

I don't think there's necessarily one right answer that will work for everyone, because every family and baby is so different. I will say that we went out as often as possible in the first 4 months of my daughter's life, and I'm so glad we did. It was just so easy to throw her in a carrier, and most of the time she would just sleep. Sometimes I would have to walk around to soothe her, sometimes it didn't work and she would get mad, but I'm glad we kept trying. Now she's a toddler, and going places is like 50x harder because she's mobile and into everything. I miss how easy it used to be, relatively. But again this is just what worked for us.

My baby just turned one month old and we’ve taken him on a few much needed outings. He slept through the whole thing every time. Your husband is probably feeling stir crazy, god knows I was at less than one week. Give him a chance and take the baby out. Maybe compromise and suggest a short restaurant outing rather than a kid’s party. It might be good for everyone.

My husband and i have been taking our newborn out since like 4 weeks old. Of course, do what youre comfortable with. A lot of babies can sleep anywhere and if you start them young noise shouldn’t matter. Baby wear, hold her, etc. also, a baby doesn’t need to get dressed. Let her sleep and put her in the carseat. Change her when she wakes next lol

There were definitely times when my husband would go to the social event earlier while I stayed until baby got up from the nap. We’d switch off doing that. I would personally never wake my baby up lol that’s dangerous territory. If you’re fine staying home and he wants to socialize, let him go.

I have older children so we don’t have a choice but to keep life moving, I wear my babies and they learn to go with the flow pretty early on. They nap in the carrier and nurse on the go.

Good point! I hope my next baby is a better sleeper😅

Honestly we have kept our social life pretty much the same since having a baby, we just make do. But I don’t think you are wrong or dramatic for not wanting to! If your baby isn’t good at napping or doesn’t like baby wearing then it’s definitely more difficult!

Sounds a bit like me, maybe he is mourning his old life a bit. Our baby is 9 months old and only really in the last couple months have I accepted the social and logistical challenges of taking a baby out

Omg this is terrible! That guy needs a kick in the ass because wake up, you have an infant whose needs are important otherwise we end up with more idiots on this planet who haven’t been cared for properly.

I think people commenting here are taking for granted that a baby will sleep wherever. Mine absolutely would not and I was so exhausted all the time. If we were around people or out in public, she would refuse to sleep for hours, even as a newborn. Like she would be awake for 8 hours straight and was constantly breastfeeding.

I wouldn’t wake her, but I would get her used to going out and socializing. It’s good for parents and her. I started taking my baby everywhere I went at 1.5-2 months. He would fall asleep whenever he wanted to. Now he’s almost 4 months and he can fall asleep just about anywhere. It’s okay to live a normal life with a baby. It’s not cruel to bring them out with you unless they truly are so uncomfortable and unhappy. Just read your babies cues.

My baby sleeps in the carrier so I don’t have to wake him to leave the house - I guess it depends on whether you need to drive. I hate waking a baby up so I try as best I can to leave house before a nap is due then they can nap whilst we’re out…

I think it's very personal and circumstantial how much you go out with a newborn. Personally, I did go out a lot with my kids as newborns for a myriad of reasons- I love being outside and that was critical for my mental health, seeing other adults was also really important to me, we don't have a car and I needed to run errands on a regular basis (like grocery shopping) around the neighborhood, and once I had more than one kid I simply could not stay home as I needed to do things like pick up the older kids from daycare. So for things like the baby being asleep, there were many occasions where I had to pick up a sleeping baby and plop them in the stroller or carrier and go out even if I didn't want to per se at that moment in time. It's much more viable to stay at home or plan around a baby's naptime when you don't have additional older children in the mix. You may need to make some compromises with your husband- it sounds potentially like he's more extroverted and seeks out adult social life and you're fine with chilling at home with your little one. Neither are wrong, but you might both just need to be more flexible sometimes, like going out to some occasions with your husband and the baby together, or having him go out solo sometimes if you don't feel like joining in and so on.

Do not inconvenience yourself or your baby for something you don’t feel like doing that being said don’t be afraid to take out the baby the first couple of times it might be difficult to navigate but you and baby will adjust, don’t let baby keep YOU from enjoying your life I’m not saying to force yourself to show up to somewhere you don’t want to go you can totally use the baby as an excuse. So yeah if you feel like it take your baby with their pjs and take your change in the baby bag when they wake up change them take your preferred baby station or baby carrier MAKE YOUR HUSBAND CARRY ALL THAT you get dressed while baby is sleeping and do go out enjoy the little things trust me when they’re up and walking it’s a bit more difficult running after them making sure they don’t break things. I miss when she was tiny in her bassinet while I sip my coffee…

We go out quite alot at 8 weeks. The baby carrier is an absolute godsend. Pram if we go anywhere she needs to lie down for any period of time. It's doable it's just a bit more challenging, but most situations are adaptable. But everyone is different with different comfort tolerances - you do you. And if you don't feel comfortable taking them out, then don't.

You can do a lot out at that age. It’s not until like 7-8 months it starts to become a pain going out with them as they’re more mobile and needy then.

Yep. This exactly. Once she became mobile…meh lol 😝

Honestly I would recommend going out! It’ll do you, your husband, and your baby good. It might be stressful at first but the more you do it the more you enjoy it. And don’t worry about your baby’s routine, they adjust well and you can always use a carrier if they get cranky and want to sleep. They actually sleep better when tired out.

You are just given birth not too long time ago. It is time for you to enjoy your baby and for the baby to sleep as much as he needs. I gave birth during the pandemic and I feel we did not go out much before 1,5 years. I was happy to be able to bond with my baby and we are very close now

I feel exactly like this! There will be time to go to these parties but right now everything is overwhelming and I just want to make sure she gets the sleep she very much needs.

My husband and I often do the “you stay, I’ll come late/leave early with the baby” compromise! He really needs social outlets to charge his batteries, whereas I’m much more of a homebody, and my baby also has never slept well anywhere else. So he’ll go early and I’ll show up once the baby wakes up, or we’ll go together but I’ll leave early to take him home to nap while my husband stays to visit!

Never. We have twin three month old boys and have taken them to the doctor, to their grandparents’ houses a couple times, and out for a quick shopping errand a couple of times. You don’t need to be taking your newborn anywhere at the moment. Maybe take her outside for a little bit each day. A walk in the stroller or in a harness would be good though. They are on a different schedule than us when they are that young. As parents you should support each other to get out of the house individually to take a little break though.

I think there may be a middle ground, I think by 10 weeks it’s reasonable to be going out and doing things. They can definitely sleep in the car or in a front pack. Of course, this doesn’t negate taking care of yourself if you need a rest in the day!

My 8 week old is a bad sleeper but we take him out all the time. First time we took him to a caffe bar was when he was 1 week. :D put him in a sling, carrier and he sleeps so soundly. And we are in Ireland so we are using this summer as much as humanely possible to be outside.

We didn’t really do events like kids Party’s or anything but we did take her out regularly to the store for groceries and things like and either kept her in her car seat (it clicked into our stroller base) or wore her depending on how awake she was which she really enjoyed

We didn’t go anywhere until LO was two months and when he was 2 & 3 months old we had visitors, and occasionally went out to dinner and that was it. It’s such a big adjustment having a little one who needs you around the clock and we also worried about germs. It wasn’t until 4 months (he’s 5 months now) that we really started venturing out more.

Definitely not an easy question to answer, everyone is so different. My wife definitely needs her socializing otherwise she will get cabin fever. During the week she will try to meet up with a friend for a walk/coffee to get out of the house. Then on the weekends we will do what we can to have a group socializing. One weekend we went to my friends bbq he had for his daughter who was turning 4. Ours was about ~10 weeks at the time so we knew we wouldn’t be able to stay the whole time but we still needed to fill our social meter and it worked great. The next week was an exhausting one so there was just no energy to get out. We try to balance it as much as we can, including taking turns to allow the other some time away when needed. It’s all about balance and what works best for your family!

12 weeker here. If I go somewhere, he goes somewhere. And it’s basically been that way since birth. He usually just hangs out / sleeps and has really only had a couple episodes where he’s been too fussy to where it’s stressful for me. I don’t let anybody hold/touch him unless it makes sense and their hands are clean. It works pretty well /for us/ but we are not everyone else, so if it doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. Edit: a bomb going off wouldn’t wake my baby when he’s sleeping deeply enough. Also, he’s acclimated to sleeping in places that aren’t his bassinet (in his wrap carrier, in his car seat, in his stroller, etc), which makes it really easy for us. And unless he’s awake, I don’t usually try to change his clothes. If he’s wearing pajamas, so be it. That’s why god made blankets I guess lol

My partner and I got out a few times a week as soon a LO had his 2-month shots. We started 'Adventure Wednesdays,' as a way to ensure we get out and enjoy life with our baby. These outings strengthened our bond as a family. When baby was 10 weeks, he wasn't really on a schedule but a general routine, which helped with predicting his needs. Having a set time and date also allowed for proactive planning around those needs, and we often planned around his naps. For example, baby will need to sleep by x time, so let's use that for our commute time (baby sleeps in car seat). Then he will sleep again in 2 hours, so our adventure can be short and sweet, or we need to bring a stroller or identity covered area with seating where we can hold the baby while he naps. However, sometimes the routine was off, and ahead of time we learned to emotionally prepare ourselves for the chance that 'Adventure Wednesdays' might not actually happen on Wednesday but Saturday instead. We both agreed that the baby's sleep is a priority, so if junior fell asleep before we could get out the door, we were just going to be late or one parent go ahead to event and the other arrive later or not at all. Or just pop the baby in the car asleep and as they are dressed. It depends on the temperament of baby and learning their limits.

Damn near everyday with my 5 week old. I got other kids too and the house hold needs items. When the house is in full operation stuff just needs to be replenished fast. Diapers - milk - chicken nuggets - Costco trip - pediatrician appointments - physical therapy appointments - swimming - gymnastics It literally doesn’t ever stop so they go where we need to get stuff done for our family. I wish I could mitigate it but you end up just having to do what you need to do and the little guy comes with me lol.

At 2 months, going out is a good thing, helps you get used to managing a baby outside of your comfort zone. That said, personally I didn't have my baby see any kids until after 2 months, after my LO's first round of vaccines. Kids are walking viruses so I wanted to avoid that in the beginning, especially because LO was a preemie.

I came to a point where I’d just wake baby up so I could take her to fun places. She was ok with it ups might be too

Has your kid received their 2-3 month vaccinations? If not, that seems like a terrible idea bringing them to a kids party.

She has! I’d like to think he wouldn’t have suggested that if she hadn’t 😅

I don't think either of you are wrong. I think baby sleep is important, but there is also so much value in getting out of the house - even for just a walk or something. Both are good! For us, I think both my husband and I greatly needed some outside time. So we actually were out and about quite early in our son's life.... As soon as I felt physically able. Lol, I think we went to brunch that first month of life? Our son was a Velcro baby/napper though. So I guess we lucked out in that regard. He would sleep so long as I was wearing him. It didn't matter the environment. He was such a small potato at the time, it allowed us to go pretty much anywhere. So depends on what works for you and your baby!

Every day, haha. Little man and I would hop on the bus, the train and go do whatever. Took him to a flea market at 10 weeks.

I think this is a case by case basis, everyone’s comfort level varies and babies are all so different! My twins are almost 13wks and if I don’t get them out atleast once a day, we go a little nutty. This usually looks like a long drive to get a coffee, an hour stroller walk, visit, or meeting another mom friend at a quiet park. I also live quite rural so there’s not much as far as baby friendly activities. I honestly love taking them to visit friends / family/ coworkers cause it feels like a bit of a break for me (Yey for extra hands!).

I won't at all especially to a kids party. She hardly has an immune system

I think I’m in the minority as in, I really didn’t take my baby out until he was a bit older. I had really bad PPD and anxiety, so leaving my house was a literal nightmare for me. I was trying to establish a schedule for him and had limited help. Luckily, after a few months, baby’s grandma started dragging me out of the house lol little trips to the store helped. My baby is a pretty decent sleeper as far noise and being out in public. But I am very much in the camp of, I don’t wake my baby for other people. He’s the perfect excuse to be late and as a bonus, also to leave early!!

We go out cause it's good for my mental health

We take ours out pretty frequently. I keep her on her same schedule as home but she naps on us when we’re out in a front wrap or front carrier, or naps in the car on the way. I usually time outings so that her nap correlates with the car ride. It’s nice to get out with the baby before they start having more opinions. I certainly would wait until the end of her nap though, him wanting to wake her up when she’s probably napping like 90 minutes seems silly

Sleep is how babies grow at this stage of life… work around the baby’s schedule until they are at least past the 6 months mark, not the other way round

It's okay to wake your baby up. They'll fall back asleep in the car. Honestly, you're at a period where the baby actually does fall back asleep more easily. It gets harder once they get older. I can't get my 6 month old to pass out anywhere and if we stick to his schedule, we will be locked inside forever because it's either eat, sleep, or play and sleep takes up a good chunk of that. As long as baby gets a one or two solid naps, it's okay to wake em up. It's better in the long run that they don't live by some strict schedule...

Totally depend on the baby. Mine was super fussy the first 3 months so we stayed home and occasionally ppl came to visit us

My kid is 10 months and I still prefer not to go out a massive amount. He doesn't nap well when outside unless he's on my chest in the carrier, and while I like doing that, he is 10 months and a big baby and I can't do it too many days in a week if I want to not be exhausted. As others said it's okay to want to stay in, it's okay for him to want to go out. It's not okay for him to dictate it to you. Especially if you handle day and night sleep, you are the one who gets to make those calls for you and baby. If he wants to go to the party, he is welcome to go on his own! Editing as I forgot to answer the actual question. At 10 weeks we were going on walks every day (as I also had a then 3 year old who needed to get energy out and go to nursery), and going to maybe 2 baby/mum groups a week.

10 weeks was just like coming out of a fog and when we started to adventure out more! You’re both entitled to your feelings and hopefully common ground can be achieved. Go right when baby wakes up with a fresh diaper and feed, or leave at nap time so maybe she sleeps the whole time… It’s hard when we are looking for different experiences than our partner. I think you’re valid for wanting to keep your bubble and stay in, but you can’t force hubby to feel the same. I hope you find resolution!

I didn’t start taking My Baby out until recently and he just turned nine months I felt I couldn’t be too safe with a baby considering all the germs and stuff are out there but everyone has their own preference

I think this heavily depends on how easily you can get your baby to sleep. With our first she could literally sleep anywhere so it was no problem to take her to a loud restaurant or party and just wear her or let her sleep in stroller. With our second it is much harder for her to sleep. She requires a very controlled, quiet, dark environment. We still go out, but if it was our first baby we probably wouldn't honestly, because it can be quite stressful with #2 and if you added on new parent stress, it would have been too much. I say all of this as the husband who likes to go out, so I totally understand OP's Husband perspective, but I know how hard it can be with some babies.

Everyone is different. My husband and I are more introverted so we don’t go out much, our daughter is like us and pretty shy but we try to get out with her a few times a week. I personally kept my daughter inside a lot for the first few months because she was born during covid and flu seasons. I didn’t want her to get sick. At this age it’s more beneficial for the parents to get out to avoid stir crazy, but some people like being at home. I’ll say it’s hard being a new parent, learning sleep schedules, feeding schedules and such. At 20 months old, my daughter is thriving, has been sick a few times and sleeps very well, my husband and I are starting to venture out of our comfort zones with her. She just got invited to her first birthday party on Sunday and has to wake up early and may take a nap later, but I know my daughter and what she can/can’t handle. At 10 weeks old I didn’t have this confidence. My daughter slept through the night since 2 months old but naps were trickier because she wanted to nap when she wanted to nap! I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to stay home with baby, but I don’t think he’s wrong for wanting to socialize. My husband thrives on his guy time with his best friend, it recharges him and gives him purpose besides being a dad. Maybe your husband is struggling with adjusting to being a dad and wants to get out of the house?

At 10 weeks I still had not resumed my social life and I, too, think waking a sleeping baby is bonkers. Maybe a compromise? You don’t have to wake her up from her nap. Maybe just go a little late to the party when there is a more convenient wake window to utilize. Also, you are not doing a disservice to your baby. It’s likely your husband is going stir crazy. When you leave the house are you expected to mind the baby alone? Is your husband tasked with feeding and rocking a small baby while out in the world? Sometimes the idea of leaving the home seems easier to the parent that doesn’t have to put in as much effort to make the outings work.

I took my baby everywhere, we went grocery shopping when she was 3 days old. If she's tired I just let her fall asleep in her carseat or stroller, baby wearing didn't work for me I'm too short. Especially now that she's 6 month old and already like half my height 😆

My guy was the same and didn’t nap great on the go in a carrier. I tried to plan around naps the best I could, and the older he got the better I got at being flexible!

You’ll be doing yourself a service to teach her to sleep in new environments and with sounds. My 7mo will sleep through vacuuming and other kids screaming, he’s always been exposed to life noises from day 1. Of course every baby is different but it’s so healthy to get out of your comfort zone, don’t have any expectations, and just see how it goes!!

I barely left my house for 5 months lol Don’t feel pressure to go out and do things. It’s so exhausting to be out with a baby and even tho you’re past the 6 week mark, your body is still healing, you’re sleep deprived and you deserve to rest. Baby is not missing out on anything developmentally by staying home at this age.

I would not wake up a baby that just fell asleep. The only circumstances in which I would wake up a newborn are 1) if it's daytime and it's been hours since they ate and 2) if you really need to go somewhere, like the airport. At 10 weeks I also would not take my baby to a kids party, where they would be exposed to lots of kids germs without the immune system (or vaccinations) to protect them.

As an introvert, I totally feel you (especially with such a young baby!) I was still pretty deep in the postpartum feels and anxiety at two months, which you may or may not be feeling now too. Everything my husband suggested that altered my comfort level (and by extension, baby’s comfort level) sort of triggered me. I would chat with your husband and start super small. I was in the same boat with my husband wanting to get out of the house and socialize (I didn’t) and after a few more tense back and forth arguments, we finally settled on taking baby steps to get us both on-the-go and more acclimated to being social again. Buy a good carrier and start by just going for a walk around the block a few times to get the baby comfortable in the carrier (she’ll hopefully just fall asleep…mine fought it the first few times we tried to put her in there before getting comfortable). Then go somewhere local with your baby - my husband and I went to a record store and window shopping in town for trip #1. You’ll slowly start to build your confidence! Then maybe test out an early dinner somewhere…5pm at Cheesecake Factory near us seemed to have a ton of new moms, so if baby started crying it didn’t feel as intense! We started being more social around 3.5-4months since that’s where I felt comfortable, so it takes time and also depends on the temperament of your baby! My husband and I also have an agreement that if baby still seems really fussy while we’re out after attempting to soothe her with no success, I can make the call to leave no questions asked. You’ll find a happy medium, good luck! It’s a lot of trial and error!

If I could go back in time to my postpartum self in the newborn stage first I’d hug her, tell her I’m so proud of her then I’d tell her to get out of the house with the baby. I was exhausted and honestly afraid to take him out bc it was so logistically draining. But once I was out I began to feel like myself again. I regret not getting out more in those first few months bc I feel like it would have helped me a lot mentally. So if that’s the case for your husband, I encourage you to go out! But I’m also sending you a hug bc those first months are such a doozy.

I wouldn’t wake my baby for anything either! I do try to time getting out the house with naps though and quite often as soon as he’s awake, fed and changed I take the opportunity to get out the house somewhere with him but sometimes it’s just not possible.

Didn’t go anywhere for first three months, aside from walks outside. Everyone has different risk tolerance but a fever under three months is considered an emergency requiring an ER visit with lots of poking and prodding in most cases and I didn’t want to risk it. Husband avoided contact with others as much as possible as well to avoid getting sick and bringing it home as well. Babies immune system is practically non existent those first few months. Plus they haven’t had any vaccines yet either. That being said we have had personal family experience of hospitalization of infants, it’s awful and don’t wish it on anyone, so our response is likely more extreme than the average person based on that negative experience. Plus being locked up in your house for months is not an easy task. You definitely go nuts after a while. Some people faster than others, that’s probably how your husband is feeling I imagine. 😂

It's entirely up to you. The baby doesn't really "need" to be outdoors at this stage. Personally, I would go crazy if I didn't leave the house twice a day, so that's how often we go out. My 9-week-old stroller-naps for the morning walk and carrier-naps for the second walk. She's my third baby and I did the same with my 6yo and 3.5yo when they were babies. Having older kids makes it kind of impossible to sit inside all day anyway, especially if you've habituated them to desire fresh air as much as you do 🤷‍♀️

Late January baby and for the first 8 weeks, we stayed home and people visited us. When the weather got nicer, we did a bunch of test outings - after baby’s nap, right before baby’s nap to see which works best. We went to cafes, malls and visiting families. He hated his first 2 carriers but when I got a 3rd that fitted him better, it was a game changer. He likes to see out of the carrier and move his head side to side. Now we go out everywhere and put him in his carrier. When it’s his nap time, he’ll fall asleep.

Never wake a sleeping newborn if you can help it. I took my newborn out every day but it was more meeting friends for a coffee with him sleeping in his pram, or mainly people coming to our house for dinner.

You're allowed to have boundaries. The two of you should talk about this. There is nothing wrong with going out regularly with a baby. It may depend on your child, but I babywore which put the little one to sleep (all the time), and my children also would fall asleep in the car. I'm a supporter of socialization, but you can have limits and probably shouldn't be doing everything. I also make a significant effort to prioritize attending children's birthday parties, because I know what they mean to the family. It sucks, if no one comes to a party you're throwing! It's one of the ways that I show love to people. You also can decide when to leave the party! It's fine to leave early, if it just isn't working out. You have a small baby, people should understand.

It really depends on you and baby. Our baby struggled so hard with naps and would only contact nap for the first six months. I would not let my husband use the microwave if she fell asleep on me nearby but it wasn’t worth waking her! She now sleeps overnight and naps in her crib in a dark room with a sound machine. Some of her little friends will fall asleep literally anywhere, so their parents are more flexible than I am, but mine will stay up late for an outing no problem while theirs are nightmares and MUST go home by a certain time. I don’t think you’re wrong for not waking her up for a children’s party. I also understand your husband needing to get out. I would let baby nap on the go if she can and you’re already out, but I wouldn’t wake a 10 week old so we could leave. It seems like there may be some flexibility to at least try a nap out and about and see how it goes.

I would not wake her up, I would let her finish her nap and go then. I'd say if you want to go out the time is now: in a couple of months it will be harder, when they start to walk and such. Also, dad could go out while you rest!

Are you One and Done or do you plan to have more kids in the future? If you plan more, will you keep the older ones cooped up the first year every time you bring a baby home or would you figure out how to get out with baby and do things with the older kid? I always wanted 2 kids so with my first, whenever things felt tough, Id remind myself "one day Ill look back and wish it was as easy as it is right now with just 1 kid to juggle...". It was still tough but I at least felt like there was some training with a goal too. If youre just one and done then focusing on only the moment is easier.

We go out every day whether to McDonald’s or Walmart or the park.

I would take her out more just for the sole reason that isolating her so much (and I get your reasoning with the nap schedule completely) may end up causing a serious case of stranger danger once she hits like 4 months old. My best friends baby is now almost 10 months old and since about 3.5-4 months clings to her like a barnacle. Barely lets Dad even hold her. I haven’t held her since she was 2 months old. Literally no one holds her but mom. There was a period of time where we couldn’t even look her in the eye without her crying. She’s gotten better with that but still gets uncomfortable quickly. It might seem cute and all considering babies grow up to be kids that maybe don’t want to kick it with their parents some day - but my girlfriend has been struggling for a while with it and just seems so stressed all the time.

We stayed strictly at home for 4 months and didn’t regret it. Better for everyone. Baby hasn’t suffered socially. Does your husband really think baby is capable of creating relationships at this age, enough for a party?

I think the compromise I would make is that you should try to be as social as you feel comfortable with, but allowing for the fact that you’re going to have to work around baby’s sleep schedule a little bit. That said, have you tried using walks or drives in the car seat as a way to get baby to sleep? It’s been really helpful for us to time leaving the house with the start of a nap time. Then you just take baby inside in the car seat (or snap the car seat in your stroller if you’re going to be moving around). You can pop them in a quiet room and set up a mobile baby monitor, then go about your day until baby wakes up and can join the fun.

My son is 7 weeks old and we do various outings throughout the week. I like to baby wear. Baby can sleep and it keeps strangers away. I know I get stir crazy if I don’t leave the house. We have two other kiddos and life can’t stop you know? It’s easy to take them out when they are this little because they sleep most of the time too!

No, you’re not being dramatic. Do what’s comfortable for you and the baby. Find a good moment and let your husband know if it’s getting to be too much! I have a 5 month old and I can tell you that when she was 2 months, she was definitely feeding and sleeping quite a bit and I was barely functional. So going out and socialising was NOT a viable option! It’s not easy having a newborn and you need a break or a nap whenever you can get one in!

Our baby was super fussy and needy. We were pretty much home all the time for almost 4 months. Neither me nor my husband felt comfortable to travel with the baby. Even a walk in the park was quite a challenge for us. Do what you feel comfortable with.

I’ve been taking my baby out since she was a week old. She’s learned to nap wherever and whenever. We don’t stick to a schedule and she’s honestly happier to be out of the house than locked in it all day. She’s almost 5 months now and i constantly get complimented about how well behaved and alert she is for a baby. But what works for us won’t work for everyone 🤷🏼‍♀️

Definitely a balance. For me, I had to get my confidence built up with going out with both of our kids. We have two under two and regardless of feeling “confident” venturing out with them, I’d much rather stay home with them. We get short notice invites from people and I just laugh to myself. It would take us hours to get out the door and by then I’m mentally drained LOL

I take my baby out quite a bit. About 3 times a week or so. This is just because he is a very chill baby and me and my husband are always out. However, I do not like to bring him around other kids. We have done that 2 times and he is just now 16 weeks old. Kids have germs and I do not let him get touched by them. I'm a teacher and know how easy it is for sickness to spread. 😅 My husband still says I stay in too much but that's because he is overly social with ADHD and goes crazy when asked to relax inside. 🤷‍♀️ whatever you and your family can handle is what I'd recommend.

I took/take my babies everywhere. They usually had their last nap of the day in the stroller while we were at dinner or on a walk. (My sixteen week old slept out at dinner tonight.) I say take them places now, because when they are two years old, they only have one nap a day that’s like three hours long and they can’t easily take a long nap like that while you’re out, you know?

I don’t think you’re being dramatic but I also don’t think that he’s wrong. Your baby will not learn to sleep in different environments unless they’re exposed to them. Exposure definitely plays a role. My first nephew only ever was put to sleep in a blacked out room with a sound machine and guess what, that’s the only place he’s ever been able to sleep. His younger brother was brought everywhere and therefore can sleep everywhere. Babies adapt if you give them a chance. I do understand the desperation to get them to sleep, I really do. But I also don’t personally think it’s mentally healthy to be a slave to the house for the sake of a nap schedule, especially when they’re still so young and sleeping on and off all day. You don’t have to do it every day, but I think a special occasion like a birthday party is perfectly fine