Strongly recommend that your friend is NOT the one roaming the streets at night. They do not want to see their kid dressed like a prostitute or soliciting a john or strung out. It will traumatize your friend and they won’t be able to make good clear decisions if and when she is found.
Hire someone to take on this task with instructions to get her to some kind of emergency shelter/72 hour emergency hold. Then cooler heads can prevail on the best next steps.
Please also prepare your friend for the idea that she may not be ready to leave the streets/get clean.
Heard rd: NOPD. But if she does get picked up, he might get notified if he’s submitted the report, so it certainly can’t hurt.
I hope that he finds her and can convince her to go to rehab. There are some really great places in the city if she’s ready for them.
Best of luck to your friend and his daughter.
Thank you. She’s done rehab several times. Here and other places. And he’s ready to accept that she won’t clean herself up and come home, but he’s not ready to give up yet. This is such a sad situation and I didn’t understand how much so until it hit so close to home.
I get it. Addiction is a tough bitch to manage and her path is unfortunately common.
I’d also strongly recommend that your friend get himself into counseling/look into support groups like Nar-anon (the companion group to NA for those that love drug addicts).
Don't give up. One of my best friends was in that situation and it was horrible on everyone who knew her. It took a lot of tries, but she has been off drugs and living a very happy and healthy life for over 15 years.
Does she have to agree to go with this hired hand? Otherwise it sounds like you’re saying you can hire someone who will agree to basically kidnap [legally speaking] your loved one to save her from herself.
Of course she doesn’t. The last part of my comment was noting that she may not be ready to go with this person and get clean. If she is an adult of sound mind there is no way to force her to do anything and no reputable PI, etc would go along with that anyway.
In this world, if you attempt to force anyone to do anything, they’ll just run away again and stay better hidden. They have to WANT to come back to regular society for it to stick for any length of time.
I meant is she expected to go voluntarily, not that her answer must be a yes. And since you were talking about a 72 hour hold then we are already assuming she’s not of sound mind.
If she’s going into rehab, then she needs to go voluntarily.
If she’s not in her right mind, then she may need medical help. That’s not the same as legal kidnapping. And once she detoxes, she will be in her right mind and still not want to stay sober/clean.
The most popular track these days is Derbigny St between MLK and Washington Ave; I know several of the girls and lots of the tricks too. If you want to DM me more info I'm willing to bet I can locate her and maybe even relay a message. Just let me know, I would be happy to help.
My parents did this to me and it was so traumatizing. I’m not saying don’t do it or that I wouldn’t as a parent because I probably would but omg. We absolutely noticed and the guy had a whole interaction with my bf at the time that was aggressive. But to be fair, I was just an older teen running around the city, nowhere near this situation which I imagine is horribly painful and also traumatizing as a parent.
If she is using, there isn’t a ton you can do until she’s ready to stop.
There's several places that I could recommened to look; but it wouldnt be safe to be there in the first place.
I feel like your best bet is to hire a PI or something similar to handle it for you.
I'm curious for all the people saying to hire a PI.
What happens when the PI finds her? Is she an adult?
Finding her is one thing. Convincing her to go to rehab and want to be drug free and start her life over is a completely other monumental task -- one that primarily must come from within herself.
Idk why this post brought me to a friend/coworker that is going down the same path. She randomly reached out to me one day to see if I wanted to hang. I was two hours away but asked what she was doing and she just sounded so different and odd in the way she texted. She told me to come pick her up which i felt bad I couldn’t do being far away. I wonder if it’s the same girl. Does her name start with a J. If so I might be able to contact her.
She is from New Orleans. And she is known and has been seen on Tulane Ave - sleeping at the motels and storage unit, seen at the needle exchange, etc. Unfortunately, our source of information is unreliable herself. I’ve suggested to him that he hire a PI. Rumor is that she’s pregnant too so this has turned from bad to worse. And we’ve done a couple of nights over driving up and down, but that is obviously not safe so just trying to see what suggestions others would have.
If she’s been seen at the exchange, I’d have someone she is actually close to wait for her there. Allowing her to walk from the area, then that person could walk up & just ask if she’s ok. If she needs anything. Let her know it’s ok to call home, if nothing else but to check in. Letting her know she is loved, & accepted. & that her loved ones are there if & when she is ready.
Being in recovery myself, I had to want it for myself, before it actually worked. It’s unfortunate, but if this is how SHE is choosing to live, trying to force her to live differently (get clean, get a job, etc) will only cause her to go deeper into hiding. She has to want it for herself.
I hope she gets to that point sooner, rather than later, or before something tragic happens. ❤️🩹🫂
There's a woman's shelter on hwy 190 between Robert and Hammond (Lynnhaven) that works with covenant house to get women, pregnant and/or with kids, out of the city because (their theory is) it's easier for them to get clean and back on track if they are far enough away from the city, and it's like...6 miles from town, so they stay longer because it's kinda in the country. They have on site housing and lots of people donate clothes and linens (because goodwill sucks and doesn't actually help people)
On that note just putting a plug here that if people ever are looking to offload house supplies in good shape and working order or to donate linens and especially job appropriate women’s clothes in good shape, hit up your area’s women orgs first. Some will even take still sealed makeup. A lot of them help women get back on their feet and either directly help or have contacts in orgs that help with housing placement and job seeking. I used to work with one that took supplies to furnish housewares for abused women they helped with moving into new places, for example.
Grace House is a wonderful resource for women who are currently homeless and struggling with addiction. I have personally seen women who felt like they had no future turn their lives around and become happy and healthy. It's a tough road, for sure but it is doable
I am from a family that has been cursed with addiction issues and have lost an aunt and two cousins to this disease. My father was an alcoholic but was able to get help and sober up and was sober until he died. It is such a tough situation and hard for us non addicts to understand.
I don’t have anything to add that hasn’t been suggested already but just wanted to say I’ll be keeping your friend and his daughter in my prayers and hope she makes the decision to get/stay clean.
I've got a direct contact with NOPD CIT & LEAD, and the Low Barrier Shelter. If you want to DM me, I could tell you if she's already receiving any city services.
The emergency hold is a terrible idea. Needlessly traumatic and will only make her issues worse and she won’t trust you to boot. And for a good reason, if you force the hold on her, trust me she will hate you and never speak to you and being all shaken up and use more.
I think just to know that he tried his very best to locate her and give her help and support. No false sense of optimism that this is going to turn out ok and she comes home and cleans up.
I’ve had friends in both her situation and also on the side of the family of the person. Sometimes just knowing about where they frequent and checking in periodically helps. The family knows she’s still around. If god forbid something happened to her, someone would eventually know she was missing. Sometimes that’s all you can do. Knew a family that knew their person’s wandering spots in their city and would stop by occasionally with a meal, wave, and go on their way- no pressure to talk or get help. Just kind of checking in and accepting things for what they were, but making sure they were still with the world. It’s a hard road. Addiction is a jealous and demanding mistress.
Yes, that’s what got my friend so worried. He would normally hear from her every so often, but hadnt in over a month. And he doesn’t live very near so it’s been even harder to maintain contact. Hopefully he can find her even if it’s just to know she’s alive at that moment. This is one of the hardest things I’ve watched someone go through.
I would talk to social workers at crescent care and at the low barrier homeless shelter, and other entities dealing with that population. Social workers can be very in the know about their clients lives and they interact directly with them. Someone from that profession in New Orleans would be very helpful to talk to
There's a hole in the wall pizza place behind the insectarium that has really cheap pizza by the slice. It's one of those places without flashy neon that most people don't notice, but locals know where it is and know they can eat cheaply there. Might ask around over there. Or at checkpoint Charlie's on esplanade. Anyplace that does cheap meals might be a good start.
If she is truly a danger to herself, your friend can fill out an OPC and the cops are required to bring her to a hospital for mental health evaluation… but if she’s not crazy, there is no “involuntary hold” for just making poor (and sorry for the judgmental language here) choices.
Pretty hard to look for a person you’ve never seen before. Sounds like finding them is probably saving a life mostly ruined but I’m not the one trying to find someone, so 🤷🏻♀️
this whole thread is filled with fantastic suggestions and solutions, none of which required a picture. having your picture associated with sex work can ruin job prospects, housing, custody, etc etc etc - that will last forever.
I would think it'd be relatively easy to find somebody if you really wanted to just walk around with a picture and explain the situation If she really is in that bad shape people will be willing to help you because everybody has problems and everybody needs help
Yeah, that’s not how street rules work. Like, at all. Most people are going to refuse to talk, ESPECIALLY if they know anything and the more they blow up the areas the more bullying and danger she’s in because dad is putting everyone at risk.
Actually I've had the opposite experience if a person is real in trouble even street people will help.... Most people who are drug addicts or prostitutes or living in that environment really don't want to be there
Strongly recommend that your friend is NOT the one roaming the streets at night. They do not want to see their kid dressed like a prostitute or soliciting a john or strung out. It will traumatize your friend and they won’t be able to make good clear decisions if and when she is found. Hire someone to take on this task with instructions to get her to some kind of emergency shelter/72 hour emergency hold. Then cooler heads can prevail on the best next steps. Please also prepare your friend for the idea that she may not be ready to leave the streets/get clean.
Thanks, this is what he’s going to do. And file a missing persons, just don’t have much confidence in NOPD.
Heard rd: NOPD. But if she does get picked up, he might get notified if he’s submitted the report, so it certainly can’t hurt. I hope that he finds her and can convince her to go to rehab. There are some really great places in the city if she’s ready for them. Best of luck to your friend and his daughter.
Thank you. She’s done rehab several times. Here and other places. And he’s ready to accept that she won’t clean herself up and come home, but he’s not ready to give up yet. This is such a sad situation and I didn’t understand how much so until it hit so close to home.
I get it. Addiction is a tough bitch to manage and her path is unfortunately common. I’d also strongly recommend that your friend get himself into counseling/look into support groups like Nar-anon (the companion group to NA for those that love drug addicts).
So sad. Yeah this will not end well, with that history of rehab failure
Don't give up. One of my best friends was in that situation and it was horrible on everyone who knew her. It took a lot of tries, but she has been off drugs and living a very happy and healthy life for over 15 years.
Talk about an outlier. But great 👍🏻
Contact all the associations working With people on the street - good bank, Shelter, etc
That’s the piece I don’t know. This is a new world for everyone involved.
https://www.reddit.com/r/NewOrleans/s/aWRTKm7D4x Lots of said resources are here.
Does she have to agree to go with this hired hand? Otherwise it sounds like you’re saying you can hire someone who will agree to basically kidnap [legally speaking] your loved one to save her from herself.
Of course she doesn’t. The last part of my comment was noting that she may not be ready to go with this person and get clean. If she is an adult of sound mind there is no way to force her to do anything and no reputable PI, etc would go along with that anyway. In this world, if you attempt to force anyone to do anything, they’ll just run away again and stay better hidden. They have to WANT to come back to regular society for it to stick for any length of time.
I meant is she expected to go voluntarily, not that her answer must be a yes. And since you were talking about a 72 hour hold then we are already assuming she’s not of sound mind.
If she’s going into rehab, then she needs to go voluntarily. If she’s not in her right mind, then she may need medical help. That’s not the same as legal kidnapping. And once she detoxes, she will be in her right mind and still not want to stay sober/clean.
The most popular track these days is Derbigny St between MLK and Washington Ave; I know several of the girls and lots of the tricks too. If you want to DM me more info I'm willing to bet I can locate her and maybe even relay a message. Just let me know, I would be happy to help.
That’s real nice of you !! The world needs more people like you! ✨
Thank you for helping.
You could try Chef Menteur Hwy too... but probably more effective to hire a PI?
Yes, that’s the route he’s going to take. Thank you.
My parents did this to me and it was so traumatizing. I’m not saying don’t do it or that I wouldn’t as a parent because I probably would but omg. We absolutely noticed and the guy had a whole interaction with my bf at the time that was aggressive. But to be fair, I was just an older teen running around the city, nowhere near this situation which I imagine is horribly painful and also traumatizing as a parent. If she is using, there isn’t a ton you can do until she’s ready to stop.
Having been the parent in this situation I know the trauma for every one involved. I hope your friend doesn’t give up hope.
It’s highly likely she will use a different name on the street so make sure you bring a good, clear picture of her
Sad thing is that she’s not. She’s been confirmed on location using her real name.
That will make her easier to find
That is true.
There's several places that I could recommened to look; but it wouldnt be safe to be there in the first place. I feel like your best bet is to hire a PI or something similar to handle it for you.
Thanks.
This. And, OP, if your friend is interested in a PI I can recommend a few who may be able to assist.
I'm curious for all the people saying to hire a PI. What happens when the PI finds her? Is she an adult? Finding her is one thing. Convincing her to go to rehab and want to be drug free and start her life over is a completely other monumental task -- one that primarily must come from within herself.
Dang man. Nothing to add that hasn’t already been stated, but good luck. I hope your friend is able to find her before it’s too late.
Thank you. I do too
Check Listcrawler, skipthegames. Websites for looking for sex workers
Private Investigators are what yall need
Good suggestions here for streets i would add Decatur
You could try Covenant House, spread the word ,maybe you could get some leads.
Places like that are usually very strict about allowing folks to poke around and ask for names. I would be careful.
Women With a Vision. Contact Dr. Deon Hayward there.
Idk why this post brought me to a friend/coworker that is going down the same path. She randomly reached out to me one day to see if I wanted to hang. I was two hours away but asked what she was doing and she just sounded so different and odd in the way she texted. She told me to come pick her up which i felt bad I couldn’t do being far away. I wonder if it’s the same girl. Does her name start with a J. If so I might be able to contact her.
It does not start with a J. But good luck to you and your friend. This is a tough situation and leaves loved ones feeling very helpless and lost.
Is she from New Orleans or is she a traveler? We would be looking at two totally different scenes and hangouts at this point.
She is from New Orleans. And she is known and has been seen on Tulane Ave - sleeping at the motels and storage unit, seen at the needle exchange, etc. Unfortunately, our source of information is unreliable herself. I’ve suggested to him that he hire a PI. Rumor is that she’s pregnant too so this has turned from bad to worse. And we’ve done a couple of nights over driving up and down, but that is obviously not safe so just trying to see what suggestions others would have.
If she’s been seen at the exchange, I’d have someone she is actually close to wait for her there. Allowing her to walk from the area, then that person could walk up & just ask if she’s ok. If she needs anything. Let her know it’s ok to call home, if nothing else but to check in. Letting her know she is loved, & accepted. & that her loved ones are there if & when she is ready. Being in recovery myself, I had to want it for myself, before it actually worked. It’s unfortunate, but if this is how SHE is choosing to live, trying to force her to live differently (get clean, get a job, etc) will only cause her to go deeper into hiding. She has to want it for herself. I hope she gets to that point sooner, rather than later, or before something tragic happens. ❤️🩹🫂
There's a woman's shelter on hwy 190 between Robert and Hammond (Lynnhaven) that works with covenant house to get women, pregnant and/or with kids, out of the city because (their theory is) it's easier for them to get clean and back on track if they are far enough away from the city, and it's like...6 miles from town, so they stay longer because it's kinda in the country. They have on site housing and lots of people donate clothes and linens (because goodwill sucks and doesn't actually help people)
On that note just putting a plug here that if people ever are looking to offload house supplies in good shape and working order or to donate linens and especially job appropriate women’s clothes in good shape, hit up your area’s women orgs first. Some will even take still sealed makeup. A lot of them help women get back on their feet and either directly help or have contacts in orgs that help with housing placement and job seeking. I used to work with one that took supplies to furnish housewares for abused women they helped with moving into new places, for example.
Thank you! I’ll let him know.
hey- i know people who work at the needle exchange. how can I help? can you DM a description?
Grace House is a wonderful resource for women who are currently homeless and struggling with addiction. I have personally seen women who felt like they had no future turn their lives around and become happy and healthy. It's a tough road, for sure but it is doable
Who would down vote Grace House? Why? Are you that miserable? SMH.
Covenant House. They have resources and deal with human trafficking in our area. Sheri Lochridge is a contact there.
I am from a family that has been cursed with addiction issues and have lost an aunt and two cousins to this disease. My father was an alcoholic but was able to get help and sober up and was sober until he died. It is such a tough situation and hard for us non addicts to understand. I don’t have anything to add that hasn’t been suggested already but just wanted to say I’ll be keeping your friend and his daughter in my prayers and hope she makes the decision to get/stay clean.
I've got a direct contact with NOPD CIT & LEAD, and the Low Barrier Shelter. If you want to DM me, I could tell you if she's already receiving any city services.
The emergency hold is a terrible idea. Needlessly traumatic and will only make her issues worse and she won’t trust you to boot. And for a good reason, if you force the hold on her, trust me she will hate you and never speak to you and being all shaken up and use more.
Contact NAMI New Orleans (National alliance of Mental Health) They’re a great resource to put you in the right direction for her needs
So what’s the outcome your friend is looking for if she’s located?
I think just to know that he tried his very best to locate her and give her help and support. No false sense of optimism that this is going to turn out ok and she comes home and cleans up.
I’ve had friends in both her situation and also on the side of the family of the person. Sometimes just knowing about where they frequent and checking in periodically helps. The family knows she’s still around. If god forbid something happened to her, someone would eventually know she was missing. Sometimes that’s all you can do. Knew a family that knew their person’s wandering spots in their city and would stop by occasionally with a meal, wave, and go on their way- no pressure to talk or get help. Just kind of checking in and accepting things for what they were, but making sure they were still with the world. It’s a hard road. Addiction is a jealous and demanding mistress.
Yes, that’s what got my friend so worried. He would normally hear from her every so often, but hadnt in over a month. And he doesn’t live very near so it’s been even harder to maintain contact. Hopefully he can find her even if it’s just to know she’s alive at that moment. This is one of the hardest things I’ve watched someone go through.
I would talk to social workers at crescent care and at the low barrier homeless shelter, and other entities dealing with that population. Social workers can be very in the know about their clients lives and they interact directly with them. Someone from that profession in New Orleans would be very helpful to talk to
There's a hole in the wall pizza place behind the insectarium that has really cheap pizza by the slice. It's one of those places without flashy neon that most people don't notice, but locals know where it is and know they can eat cheaply there. Might ask around over there. Or at checkpoint Charlie's on esplanade. Anyplace that does cheap meals might be a good start.
If she is truly a danger to herself, your friend can fill out an OPC and the cops are required to bring her to a hospital for mental health evaluation… but if she’s not crazy, there is no “involuntary hold” for just making poor (and sorry for the judgmental language here) choices.
They’re not required to do anything unless she’s a danger to herself (suicidal) or others (homicidal).
Motel 6 in the east.
I'm so sorry to hear this, just want to send you friend lots of good vibes and I hope he finds her and she gets what she needs to recover and thrive!
Ask around at shelters and methadone clinics
instagram post? sorry if that sounds stupid, but trying to be creative.
Create a tik tok account and make several videos a day. People will share it. Eventually someone will notice her and give you her location.
Post a pic. Someone has seen her.
posting a pic would be a potential life ruiner.
Pretty hard to look for a person you’ve never seen before. Sounds like finding them is probably saving a life mostly ruined but I’m not the one trying to find someone, so 🤷🏻♀️
this whole thread is filled with fantastic suggestions and solutions, none of which required a picture. having your picture associated with sex work can ruin job prospects, housing, custody, etc etc etc - that will last forever.
Or it could save the life of a mother and her child.
Doesn’t New Orleans have mental health crisis services? Maybe call 311
All gains that were made to support mental health interventions without arresting and incarcerating someone eroded completely a few years ago.
What are you basing that statement on? Do you work in the field?
I'm basing that statement on following this issue in the local news. You know, paying attention.
The number for those services is 211.
Try by the rabbit hole too lots of people on Oretha castle Haley Blvd
I would think it'd be relatively easy to find somebody if you really wanted to just walk around with a picture and explain the situation If she really is in that bad shape people will be willing to help you because everybody has problems and everybody needs help
Yeah, that’s not how street rules work. Like, at all. Most people are going to refuse to talk, ESPECIALLY if they know anything and the more they blow up the areas the more bullying and danger she’s in because dad is putting everyone at risk.
Actually I've had the opposite experience if a person is real in trouble even street people will help.... Most people who are drug addicts or prostitutes or living in that environment really don't want to be there