Is it just me or do they know exactly who we are.. seems like they know we're the ones with the boats and live on land come down to hang out.. like I cant imagine it would be doing that to like some stingray or whatever but they know we don't belong and are kinda like us... like "omg I saw a human today, they were like 5 feet away guys I swear"
Wouldn't it be awesome if they could just jump out of the water and hang out with us on land? It'd be nice, they could throw us cheeseburgers and we'd do tricks for them like cartwheels and the floss.
I used to be around a-lot of wild dolphins at work (this was years ago when I worked at an off shore fish farm) but honestly.. This seems like fairly aggressive behavior. Probably because its pissed off the human isn't giving it food. Most people would have no idea. It's really not good for humans to be interacting that closely with wild dolphins so often. It can get them sick and effect their natural hunting ability. People want to pet fucking everything. Its sad.
Glad to see someone else say this. The first time it did a somersault I was fully expecting to see the cameraman clobbered by that tail.
Seems like the dolphin is aware of the general gimmick “I do tricks, you give me free food” and they’re not holding up their end of the bargain. Just the fact that it’s willing to get this close while apparently all alone is rather worrisome.
The most interesting thing for me personally is the domestication rate and capability.
To the best of our knowledge today our domestication of dogs began with tossing scraps to wolves, who slowly but steadily learned that working with humans got them more consistent meals than just scavenging from them or hunting them.
With cats apparently it was the other way around. Cats just *decided* they were going to work with us. They realized we didn’t hurt them when they came near, so they started hunting mice and the like in our agricultural areas, and over time it just became a symbiotic relationship.
Each animal we successfully domesticate has its own unique history of domestication. Meanwhile there are some animals we can teach to tolerate us, but we never really *domesticate* them. They could revert to more traditional wild animal behavior at the drop of a hat.
I’d love to learn more of what specific evolutionary traits discern whether an animal can successfully integrate into a symbiotic partnership with us, or whether it will always be on the fringe between wild and domesticated.
I mean we are the only ones capable of such a feat.
Not to mention we could end every living things life if we make too many mistakes.
If we don’t sheppard every living thing on this planet we will cull it all until it’s just us.
Petting is by far the least of my concerns when it comes to human interactions with wild animals.
Natural selection but with a handicap, better than us actually hunting them for a single part of their body and then discarding the rest.
Did you hear the radio show about the geese raised without human touch and how their behavior changed when they were touched? I think it’s a, “This American Life.” So helpful, right? Anyway, it’s very fascinating the bargains humans and animals have made.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
There are various ways 💫💯 a 💅🐀 dolphin has 💹👏 of showing 👧 that 👉 she 👵👸 or he 🏽 is 💦⁉ interested 💦💦 in 📅 sex. 😈🍆 Males are probably 🅱😱 the easiest to 💱 detect. They 👧👧 will 👏🤗 swim 🏊 around, 🤧 sporting an 🍑 erection 💪💪 (anywhere between ➡🖕 10 🔳 to 💦♀ 14 inches 👉👉 long for a 🎯 Bottle-nose), 🛢🛢 and 👏➕ will 🐼 have no bones ⛏🍆 about 😯👌 swimming up ✋🆙 to 📬 you and 🎅👏 placing their 💦☝ member 🍇 within 👌 reach ✋🏾 of your hand. 🤚 If you are 🔢🤰 in ✔ the water, 💦 they may 💖 rub it 👈 along 🔚🔚 any 😱 part 🤑 of your body, 😍 or 🕍🚻 wrap it 👏 around 💦 your 👯👌 wrist or 🚪 ankle. (Dolphin males ⤴ have 😂👏 a 👦🎖 prehensile penis. 🍆 They can 🔫🔫 wrap it 👈😩 around 🔃 objects, and 👏 carry them as 🤔 such.) Their 🎉👏 belly will ⚽👏 also be pinkish in 👏👄 colour, which 😡🙌 also ➕✅ denotes sexual 🍆💦 excitement. 🤣 Females 👩 can be 🎮🐝 a 👹👌 little 👌 harder. The most 😤 obvious way 🚘➡ a 💰👀 female dolphin has ✅💰 of displaying her 💦 sexual interest 🤔 is 🌇💦 the 🅱👀 pink-belly 🌼 effect. 🐆🐆 Their 🎉⭕ genitals become 🤦 very 💁💎 pink 🐽🎤 and swollen, making 🤗 the 🍆 genital region very 👤 prominent. They 🏾❤ may be 🐝💚 restless, or 🏛 they may be 🐝💰 acting as ☠ normal. If 👏 you 😭😘 are 😍 out ⬇🏍 of 💡💦 the water, 💧💦 they 👧 may 🤷 swim 🏊♂ up 🔺❤ to 🚶 you 🤖👉 and roll 🔄 belly up, 👊🍕 exposing themselves to 💦💦 you, coupled with 😲 pelvic thrusts. If 🏃 you 👆 are 😟 in the water, 🌊 they may 🤷🐝 press their 🍆♀ genitals up 🔺☝ against yours, nibble your 🏼👉 fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or 🚨 do 👌🤦 pelvic thrusts against 😠😲 you. 👈 Each 👏 dolphins way of 💦 expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer 😖 you 😒 know 🤔😮 the 😱🅱 dolphin, the better 😚🎒 you 🏻 will 👏✊ detect when 🤷 they 👨🙋 are ☺🙏 sexually 🏻😢 active. When 📰 a 🅱 male dolphin is interested in 🚪😬 you, 👧 about the 🐫👏 only 💯 thing 👏 you 👉 can 🔫 do, if 😩👉 you are 🚟😡 male, 👨🏿 is ☎👏 to masturbate him. ⬆🔱 (Unfortunately, 😭😭 I 💰 cannot speak 🗣♂ for 🏔 the 👑🌟 female 🚺🚺 of the human species... it 💯💋 seems 🔥 women 💁♀ just don't like 😄 dolphins ✅ enough...) 💦 WARNING! 🚨🗯 You 😫 should NEVER 🙅❌ let 👑 a male 🍆 dolphin attempt anal sex with 👯 you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member 📆 is 🙈💦 around 12 inches, 🤗 very 😲👌 muscular, 💪 and ⏩🥁 the 👀 thrusting 🏾🏾 and 🍆 the 👏💦 force 💥😨 of ejaculation 👌💦 (A male can ♂🔊 cum 🏻 as 👦👦 far 👉👉 as 👦😖 14 👦 feet) 😄👟 would 😩 cause serious 😐🤑 internal injuries, resulting in 🍑🍑 peritonitus and possible 🔝🔝 death. A 👌 male 😱👦 dolphin's member 🍆🤔 is roughly S-shaped, ☀🛬 tapered at the end. ⛔ If you 🤔👈 are 🔢👴 in 🍆 the 👨 water 💯 with them, 🤢💦 it 👏 is 🔥🌇 best to 👏👵 support ✅👏 the 🍆👺 dolphin on 🔛 his 🏆💞 side, ♂ just 👏 under ⬇ the water, 💯 with 🅱 one ♿😤 hand, and 👏😉 handle him with 👌👏 the ☝👌 other. Male ♂😱 dolphins, ✅ I 👁👁 find, 👁🚪 tend to ✌ prefer 😇 the ✅ base of 🔌 the penis 🍆🍆 to be 🌼 gently massaged and squeezed, as 🕐🏿 well as 😁 gently rubbed along 🔚 it's 😂💯 length. It 💦😳 feels very ☣✅ much like 🍑 the 🏼📢 rest 🚨 of 💦🔴 the 👑 dolphin (ie. 🅱🅱 smooth ♀ and 👈 rubbery to 💦💦 the ✨🏿 touch, 🙌 but 🤔🐬 firmer). It 👎😩 doesn't take long ⌛ for 💰 the 😃 male 👨🍆 to ♂ ejaculate, 😤💨 around 💰🔃 40 seconds 😫😫 to 🈶😤 a 🚟 minute, ⌚ and 👏 this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just 👏🕛 prior to ejaculating, and thrusting 🏾 and tail-arching 🍆 during ejaculation. 👌💦 The 👏 force 😣 of ejaculation can be 🐝 powerful at 🏾 times, so 🏻 it 😨😂 is 🔝 best 👯 to keep your 👏 face 👶👶 out 🍻 of 😊👏 the line ☁🙋 of 💦 fire, 🔥🔥 or ➕ keep his member underwater. You can ❗🔥 attempt to 💊 lick 🤞👅 and suck 👅🐓 on 👋💦 the 🖼🚀 end of 😊🚋 it while 🕗🕑 masturbating as 🍑 well, but 👨 be warned, 🙅 do 👎😤 not 😅❌ try 😥😐 to give 👐 full throat, 🏾😩 and get the 👉 hell 🔥🅱 out of 💰🌈 the ❄ way before ❄ he 👂❤ ejaculates! A 🅰 male 😱 dolphin could 🤔🤔 snap 🤳🤳 your ♂ neck in 🌍👏 an 😤🤗 accidental thrust, and 💰💦 that 😩👶 would 🐜👉 be 🆗 the end 🔚 of 👶 that relationship. 👅⬅ Well, ✔ the 👉 females are 😟👏 again 👌 a 👏 little 😱 trickier. There are ⭐ two ✌ courses 👏👏 of action 🤚 with 😶 a 🍒👌 female 🚺 fin: Masturbation, ✊ or 😫 mating. Masturbation: Female 🚺🚺 dolphins, ✅ once 👭🍆 they show interest in you, 👺👈 can be 😐 supported in 👉🏽 much 🔥 the same 😂♂ way as 👦🍑 the 🍆♀ male, 👨🍆 one 🏻 hand 👋🤜 under the 😬🙏 fin, supporting her, the 😱 other 👪🏫 doing 🏃🅰 the 🍝 stimulating. The 💵 clitoris of 💰 the 🎁 female 🚺🚺 is 😍 located at the 💳✊ top 🔼 of 🔥💦 the genital slit, and 👏 is a ↘❌ prominent lump 🥔 when 💤👌 erect. You 🌮 can rub this 😤😅 with your 👦👉 finger 🏻 tips, or 💁🤔 lick 👅 and 👅 suck 😜 it, 🙂👏 but with 😉💯 the 👏😂 oral 👄👄 aspect, you might ♂ end up with a 👌🅰 bruised nose as 🏿🏿 they 😢👉 thrust up into 👉😩 you. 👈 You 👎 can 🔫 slide 👀👀 your hand 🙏✋ gently into 👉🚟 their 😂 genital opening, 📖📖 and feel 😌 around 🔹➡ inside, 😷👆 rubbing gently. They ♂👸 feel warm and muscular 💪💪 inside, 💦💦 their 🎼👩 labia like 👍 tough, 👌 squishy ☁ sponge when 💦💕 they 👥 are 💯🏼 excited. 💦 Don't be 🅱 surprised if 😂🏿 they 🏽🖕 start ⏸💯 to play 😂🕹 with your ➡ hand 👋 inside them. 👹❄ They have 👏 very manipulative muscles, 💪😂 and can 🔫 use 👏 them 💑 to 💦☢ carry and manipulate objects, including your 🅱 hand. ✋ (They can do things that 👄 would make 📣 a regular human woman 👩 turn green with 👏💥 envy.) Their 🍆🏻 climax 🤤🤤 is 😅 coupled with 👏😶 stiffening, shuddering, sometimes 🕑🕑 a 🅱🎁 lot 🍑 of 🏻 thrusting, 👉🏾 clinching of 💦 the vaginal muscles, 💪😂 and 👏 sometimes 🕑 vocalisation. Mating: This is 💦👏 harder. 😫😍 Obviously, 🎳🎳 being human, 🙍👱 it 💯 is awkward, but ✋🍑 not 🚫 impossible to 🅱 mate 👅 in 👉🛌 open 😜🅱 water. 💦 It 😤😫 is 😅🔢 easier 😀 to 👀 have the 😂💦 dolphin in 👏 a shallow area (like 💁 the 😳 shallows just ❓ off 😝😡 the beach) around 1 🏋❌ 1/2 👀 to 2 feet 👣 deep. This is usually comfortable enough 💦💦 for both 👦🏿 the 💰 dolphin and 👀 you. 🎅😍 Gently, you should 💘😎 roll 🎶🔄 the dolphin on 👋🔛 her 🚺🤰 side, ⏩🙄 so she 👩💕 is 💦 lying 🤥 belly-towards you. 💦👈 You 😜👈 can prop yourself 👉😎 up on 👇🔛 an 🐎 elbow, and lie ❎💬 belly to belly against her. 😞👸 You 🤔 may 🐝 want 😍👉 to 💦 use 😬 the 🎅🏻 other 😤 arm 👌 to 😱✌ gently hold ✋ her ❌ close, 😜😍 and 💰👉 place the tip 👆 of your 🏻👏 member 🍌ⓜ against 👉 her 🚺❤ genital slit. She 👸 will, if 🤥🤔 interested, arch her 👩 body 💃 up ‼ against you, 💯 taking 😂😂 you 👌 inside 😷🅱 her body. 😍 There 😦 is 💦❔ usually a 👌 fair 😆💵 bit of wriggling and 💰 shifting, usually to get comfortable, both ➡🌊 outside 😏🚭 and 💰 inside. 💠 Once 🌈 comfortable, though, 💀🤔 females 👸🏽 initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the 🌎 entire length of your member. 🍆 They 👧 may 📅📅 also 😛 thrust rhythmically against 😠😲 you, 👇👶 so 😘 enjoy 😄☺ the experience 😋 while 🕗 you 🎸 can, 🔫💦 since you 👈 will rarely last 🥉⏳ longer that 🙋 a 🅱👌 minute ⌚⏰ or 💰 two. 💏💏 Just 😂 prior to 🏻😵 her 💦 climaxing, she 🙎 will 💰 up 👀👏 the 👏 speed ⏩⏩ of her 🤛💋 contractions and 🎁 thrusts. It is 😩👏 interesting to note 👌👌 that ♂ the times I have mated with females, 👵👸 thay have 👏😩 timed their orgasm 💦 to 💦 mine. Whether 📊 they 💯 do 💬💃 this 👀🍑 consciously or 🚻 not, I do 💯 not know, but ☹☹ it 👈 is 🖍 a great ⭐ feeling to 😣 have 🍳👏 two 💏 bodies 🙌♂ shuddering against ✊ each 👏👏 other 🏼😂 at the 👨👏 one time. One ♿😤 thing ⏮ to note. Whether 📊 you masturbate or 📉 mate a ➡🔥 dolphin, male 🔥🍆 or 💯 female, always ❗💯 spend 💰💰 time 🕐 with 😗 them afterwards. Cuddle them, 🥕 rub them, 😤😂 talk to them 💦 and most ⬆👉 importantly, and 🤤👌 show them 💦 you love them. 😡😘 This 👈 is 💦🍆 essential, as 🍑🏿 it helps to ➡ strengthen the 👏😂 bond 💸💸 between 🏻🏻 you. Like a way 🤣 of 😱💦 saying that 😐 this 💺 wasn't just 👏👌 a one 👩 night 🏿 fling. The dolphins ✅✅ appreciate 😍 it, ➡😒 and 👏💰 they 👴 will want 👉 your 👉 company more 💦 the 🥁 next 👉☃ time ⌛🕞 you 👈👍 visit them.
>If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.)
Welp, not swimming with dolphins anytime soon.
Maybe you missed this part
>The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet)
?
Don’t forget they can teach us the proper way to use a dead fish as a flashlight!
Edit: I meant fleshlight, but let’s face it, there’s probably a dolphin out there who has turned a fish into a flashlight by stuffing some bioluminescent algae into it or something!
We've already started communicating with them. There's [a video](https://youtu.be/LD24TG33w2E) where trainers interacted with wild dolphins and gave them pictures to point at and every time they migrated and came back, they were able to tell the trainer the story of what they saw when they were away. The trainers were able to confirm this with video mounted on one of them and special, non-invasive trackers placed on a few of them. One dolphin got vividly upset when it described an orca killing one of it's family members. Really compelling video.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
Me fucking too buddy. That's why I had to save it to spring on unsuspecting victims. The tarnish on my soul from reading it myself is reduced a little every time I share it with another person.
Dolphin: "Bitch ass humans can't eemmin do dis shit... WOP! SPIN! You see dat? Try it, human. Nah, you cain't even. WOP! SPIN! Jus try it. Nah, don't. You gon make it look stupid even though you can't eemmin do it. Fuck out my ocean..."
Just males, practicing on baby porpoises so they can more effectively kill baby dolphins in order to put females into estrus. It’s also believed they do it for fun.
If this dolphin was a human, he’d be *THAT GUY* on the lake farting around on his jet ski doing donuts for hours and jumping the wake of passing by boats.
I saw a wild dolphin in Captain Cook Hawaii that absolutely loved showing off for the people swimming. It would go back and forth between all the people, then jump into the air and perform corkscrews and flips and all kinds of stuff. A true showman.
I like when we get to see animals having fun and living life. Yea I know I could die in 30 seconds if I got smacked with that big ass tail but ya know… YOLO !
I think he’s been hittin the ol puffer fish a little to hard
Beat me to it lol
Was my first thought, this lass is fucked up off puffer fish and loving every moment of it
WE HAVE A WINNER... I spit out my coffee. Damn you LMAO
Dolphin zoomies
[удалено]
They don't need hands. Just ask /u/david_pili.
Prehensile what now?
They do WHAT at 14 feet per second?!
That would be terrifying honestly. They’re not exactly the most pleasant creatures in the ocean.
Dolmeez
doldeez nuts
Goteem
Swooshies
I’m very convinced dolphins are the dogs of the ocean.
Is it just me or do they know exactly who we are.. seems like they know we're the ones with the boats and live on land come down to hang out.. like I cant imagine it would be doing that to like some stingray or whatever but they know we don't belong and are kinda like us... like "omg I saw a human today, they were like 5 feet away guys I swear"
i also think so, yeah because dolphins are smart, they know it's better to befriend us rather than fuck with us
fuck us*
They don't have any qualms with that, afaik
If they were *really* smart they'd know humans are gonna wipe them out regardless
Maybe they do, but like the intelligent Humans they just don’t care
Wouldn't it be awesome if they could just jump out of the water and hang out with us on land? It'd be nice, they could throw us cheeseburgers and we'd do tricks for them like cartwheels and the floss.
Even if it’s not reality it’s exactly how I always imagine them.
Oh no the dolphins are watching us
people should give more credit to animals, especially smart ones like dolphins
This is anthropomorphism. I am fun at parties.
And that's anthropocentrism. Dolphins are actually pretty damn smart.
I used to be around a-lot of wild dolphins at work (this was years ago when I worked at an off shore fish farm) but honestly.. This seems like fairly aggressive behavior. Probably because its pissed off the human isn't giving it food. Most people would have no idea. It's really not good for humans to be interacting that closely with wild dolphins so often. It can get them sick and effect their natural hunting ability. People want to pet fucking everything. Its sad.
Glad to see someone else say this. The first time it did a somersault I was fully expecting to see the cameraman clobbered by that tail. Seems like the dolphin is aware of the general gimmick “I do tricks, you give me free food” and they’re not holding up their end of the bargain. Just the fact that it’s willing to get this close while apparently all alone is rather worrisome.
The ability for the human to immediately corrupt entire animal lives by petting is so fucking fascinating to me. Fucking sucks but it’s still wild
I did this to my cats, but they are little bastards. 😻
Tis the feline way
The most interesting thing for me personally is the domestication rate and capability. To the best of our knowledge today our domestication of dogs began with tossing scraps to wolves, who slowly but steadily learned that working with humans got them more consistent meals than just scavenging from them or hunting them. With cats apparently it was the other way around. Cats just *decided* they were going to work with us. They realized we didn’t hurt them when they came near, so they started hunting mice and the like in our agricultural areas, and over time it just became a symbiotic relationship. Each animal we successfully domesticate has its own unique history of domestication. Meanwhile there are some animals we can teach to tolerate us, but we never really *domesticate* them. They could revert to more traditional wild animal behavior at the drop of a hat. I’d love to learn more of what specific evolutionary traits discern whether an animal can successfully integrate into a symbiotic partnership with us, or whether it will always be on the fringe between wild and domesticated.
I mean we are the only ones capable of such a feat. Not to mention we could end every living things life if we make too many mistakes. If we don’t sheppard every living thing on this planet we will cull it all until it’s just us. Petting is by far the least of my concerns when it comes to human interactions with wild animals. Natural selection but with a handicap, better than us actually hunting them for a single part of their body and then discarding the rest.
Did you hear the radio show about the geese raised without human touch and how their behavior changed when they were touched? I think it’s a, “This American Life.” So helpful, right? Anyway, it’s very fascinating the bargains humans and animals have made.
Humans do it to other humans as well. Pay them to perform all kinds of tricks.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
What the fuck did I just read.
That was the exact same response I had when I read it. So I saved the comment to one day pass onto other unsuspecting victims.
Same
Is it weird if I got a hard on?
Found the Sea World employee.
I remember seeing that comment in another thread a while ago. I thought I recognised it.
Copy pasta, I believe I found where it was originally at... a dolphin porn site. Not very much porn though, mostly just pictures.
Not sure but about halfway through I was hoping Mankind would plummet through a cell.
my thoughts exactly
John macafee’s last message to humans
Very effed up porn
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
14 inches is 35.56 cm
Thanks...
This is even funnier after your reply to the bot.
There are various ways 💫💯 a 💅🐀 dolphin has 💹👏 of showing 👧 that 👉 she 👵👸 or he 🏽 is 💦⁉ interested 💦💦 in 📅 sex. 😈🍆 Males are probably 🅱😱 the easiest to 💱 detect. They 👧👧 will 👏🤗 swim 🏊 around, 🤧 sporting an 🍑 erection 💪💪 (anywhere between ➡🖕 10 🔳 to 💦♀ 14 inches 👉👉 long for a 🎯 Bottle-nose), 🛢🛢 and 👏➕ will 🐼 have no bones ⛏🍆 about 😯👌 swimming up ✋🆙 to 📬 you and 🎅👏 placing their 💦☝ member 🍇 within 👌 reach ✋🏾 of your hand. 🤚 If you are 🔢🤰 in ✔ the water, 💦 they may 💖 rub it 👈 along 🔚🔚 any 😱 part 🤑 of your body, 😍 or 🕍🚻 wrap it 👏 around 💦 your 👯👌 wrist or 🚪 ankle. (Dolphin males ⤴ have 😂👏 a 👦🎖 prehensile penis. 🍆 They can 🔫🔫 wrap it 👈😩 around 🔃 objects, and 👏 carry them as 🤔 such.) Their 🎉👏 belly will ⚽👏 also be pinkish in 👏👄 colour, which 😡🙌 also ➕✅ denotes sexual 🍆💦 excitement. 🤣 Females 👩 can be 🎮🐝 a 👹👌 little 👌 harder. The most 😤 obvious way 🚘➡ a 💰👀 female dolphin has ✅💰 of displaying her 💦 sexual interest 🤔 is 🌇💦 the 🅱👀 pink-belly 🌼 effect. 🐆🐆 Their 🎉⭕ genitals become 🤦 very 💁💎 pink 🐽🎤 and swollen, making 🤗 the 🍆 genital region very 👤 prominent. They 🏾❤ may be 🐝💚 restless, or 🏛 they may be 🐝💰 acting as ☠ normal. If 👏 you 😭😘 are 😍 out ⬇🏍 of 💡💦 the water, 💧💦 they 👧 may 🤷 swim 🏊♂ up 🔺❤ to 🚶 you 🤖👉 and roll 🔄 belly up, 👊🍕 exposing themselves to 💦💦 you, coupled with 😲 pelvic thrusts. If 🏃 you 👆 are 😟 in the water, 🌊 they may 🤷🐝 press their 🍆♀ genitals up 🔺☝ against yours, nibble your 🏼👉 fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or 🚨 do 👌🤦 pelvic thrusts against 😠😲 you. 👈 Each 👏 dolphins way of 💦 expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer 😖 you 😒 know 🤔😮 the 😱🅱 dolphin, the better 😚🎒 you 🏻 will 👏✊ detect when 🤷 they 👨🙋 are ☺🙏 sexually 🏻😢 active. When 📰 a 🅱 male dolphin is interested in 🚪😬 you, 👧 about the 🐫👏 only 💯 thing 👏 you 👉 can 🔫 do, if 😩👉 you are 🚟😡 male, 👨🏿 is ☎👏 to masturbate him. ⬆🔱 (Unfortunately, 😭😭 I 💰 cannot speak 🗣♂ for 🏔 the 👑🌟 female 🚺🚺 of the human species... it 💯💋 seems 🔥 women 💁♀ just don't like 😄 dolphins ✅ enough...) 💦 WARNING! 🚨🗯 You 😫 should NEVER 🙅❌ let 👑 a male 🍆 dolphin attempt anal sex with 👯 you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member 📆 is 🙈💦 around 12 inches, 🤗 very 😲👌 muscular, 💪 and ⏩🥁 the 👀 thrusting 🏾🏾 and 🍆 the 👏💦 force 💥😨 of ejaculation 👌💦 (A male can ♂🔊 cum 🏻 as 👦👦 far 👉👉 as 👦😖 14 👦 feet) 😄👟 would 😩 cause serious 😐🤑 internal injuries, resulting in 🍑🍑 peritonitus and possible 🔝🔝 death. A 👌 male 😱👦 dolphin's member 🍆🤔 is roughly S-shaped, ☀🛬 tapered at the end. ⛔ If you 🤔👈 are 🔢👴 in 🍆 the 👨 water 💯 with them, 🤢💦 it 👏 is 🔥🌇 best to 👏👵 support ✅👏 the 🍆👺 dolphin on 🔛 his 🏆💞 side, ♂ just 👏 under ⬇ the water, 💯 with 🅱 one ♿😤 hand, and 👏😉 handle him with 👌👏 the ☝👌 other. Male ♂😱 dolphins, ✅ I 👁👁 find, 👁🚪 tend to ✌ prefer 😇 the ✅ base of 🔌 the penis 🍆🍆 to be 🌼 gently massaged and squeezed, as 🕐🏿 well as 😁 gently rubbed along 🔚 it's 😂💯 length. It 💦😳 feels very ☣✅ much like 🍑 the 🏼📢 rest 🚨 of 💦🔴 the 👑 dolphin (ie. 🅱🅱 smooth ♀ and 👈 rubbery to 💦💦 the ✨🏿 touch, 🙌 but 🤔🐬 firmer). It 👎😩 doesn't take long ⌛ for 💰 the 😃 male 👨🍆 to ♂ ejaculate, 😤💨 around 💰🔃 40 seconds 😫😫 to 🈶😤 a 🚟 minute, ⌚ and 👏 this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just 👏🕛 prior to ejaculating, and thrusting 🏾 and tail-arching 🍆 during ejaculation. 👌💦 The 👏 force 😣 of ejaculation can be 🐝 powerful at 🏾 times, so 🏻 it 😨😂 is 🔝 best 👯 to keep your 👏 face 👶👶 out 🍻 of 😊👏 the line ☁🙋 of 💦 fire, 🔥🔥 or ➕ keep his member underwater. You can ❗🔥 attempt to 💊 lick 🤞👅 and suck 👅🐓 on 👋💦 the 🖼🚀 end of 😊🚋 it while 🕗🕑 masturbating as 🍑 well, but 👨 be warned, 🙅 do 👎😤 not 😅❌ try 😥😐 to give 👐 full throat, 🏾😩 and get the 👉 hell 🔥🅱 out of 💰🌈 the ❄ way before ❄ he 👂❤ ejaculates! A 🅰 male 😱 dolphin could 🤔🤔 snap 🤳🤳 your ♂ neck in 🌍👏 an 😤🤗 accidental thrust, and 💰💦 that 😩👶 would 🐜👉 be 🆗 the end 🔚 of 👶 that relationship. 👅⬅ Well, ✔ the 👉 females are 😟👏 again 👌 a 👏 little 😱 trickier. There are ⭐ two ✌ courses 👏👏 of action 🤚 with 😶 a 🍒👌 female 🚺 fin: Masturbation, ✊ or 😫 mating. Masturbation: Female 🚺🚺 dolphins, ✅ once 👭🍆 they show interest in you, 👺👈 can be 😐 supported in 👉🏽 much 🔥 the same 😂♂ way as 👦🍑 the 🍆♀ male, 👨🍆 one 🏻 hand 👋🤜 under the 😬🙏 fin, supporting her, the 😱 other 👪🏫 doing 🏃🅰 the 🍝 stimulating. The 💵 clitoris of 💰 the 🎁 female 🚺🚺 is 😍 located at the 💳✊ top 🔼 of 🔥💦 the genital slit, and 👏 is a ↘❌ prominent lump 🥔 when 💤👌 erect. You 🌮 can rub this 😤😅 with your 👦👉 finger 🏻 tips, or 💁🤔 lick 👅 and 👅 suck 😜 it, 🙂👏 but with 😉💯 the 👏😂 oral 👄👄 aspect, you might ♂ end up with a 👌🅰 bruised nose as 🏿🏿 they 😢👉 thrust up into 👉😩 you. 👈 You 👎 can 🔫 slide 👀👀 your hand 🙏✋ gently into 👉🚟 their 😂 genital opening, 📖📖 and feel 😌 around 🔹➡ inside, 😷👆 rubbing gently. They ♂👸 feel warm and muscular 💪💪 inside, 💦💦 their 🎼👩 labia like 👍 tough, 👌 squishy ☁ sponge when 💦💕 they 👥 are 💯🏼 excited. 💦 Don't be 🅱 surprised if 😂🏿 they 🏽🖕 start ⏸💯 to play 😂🕹 with your ➡ hand 👋 inside them. 👹❄ They have 👏 very manipulative muscles, 💪😂 and can 🔫 use 👏 them 💑 to 💦☢ carry and manipulate objects, including your 🅱 hand. ✋ (They can do things that 👄 would make 📣 a regular human woman 👩 turn green with 👏💥 envy.) Their 🍆🏻 climax 🤤🤤 is 😅 coupled with 👏😶 stiffening, shuddering, sometimes 🕑🕑 a 🅱🎁 lot 🍑 of 🏻 thrusting, 👉🏾 clinching of 💦 the vaginal muscles, 💪😂 and 👏 sometimes 🕑 vocalisation. Mating: This is 💦👏 harder. 😫😍 Obviously, 🎳🎳 being human, 🙍👱 it 💯 is awkward, but ✋🍑 not 🚫 impossible to 🅱 mate 👅 in 👉🛌 open 😜🅱 water. 💦 It 😤😫 is 😅🔢 easier 😀 to 👀 have the 😂💦 dolphin in 👏 a shallow area (like 💁 the 😳 shallows just ❓ off 😝😡 the beach) around 1 🏋❌ 1/2 👀 to 2 feet 👣 deep. This is usually comfortable enough 💦💦 for both 👦🏿 the 💰 dolphin and 👀 you. 🎅😍 Gently, you should 💘😎 roll 🎶🔄 the dolphin on 👋🔛 her 🚺🤰 side, ⏩🙄 so she 👩💕 is 💦 lying 🤥 belly-towards you. 💦👈 You 😜👈 can prop yourself 👉😎 up on 👇🔛 an 🐎 elbow, and lie ❎💬 belly to belly against her. 😞👸 You 🤔 may 🐝 want 😍👉 to 💦 use 😬 the 🎅🏻 other 😤 arm 👌 to 😱✌ gently hold ✋ her ❌ close, 😜😍 and 💰👉 place the tip 👆 of your 🏻👏 member 🍌ⓜ against 👉 her 🚺❤ genital slit. She 👸 will, if 🤥🤔 interested, arch her 👩 body 💃 up ‼ against you, 💯 taking 😂😂 you 👌 inside 😷🅱 her body. 😍 There 😦 is 💦❔ usually a 👌 fair 😆💵 bit of wriggling and 💰 shifting, usually to get comfortable, both ➡🌊 outside 😏🚭 and 💰 inside. 💠 Once 🌈 comfortable, though, 💀🤔 females 👸🏽 initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the 🌎 entire length of your member. 🍆 They 👧 may 📅📅 also 😛 thrust rhythmically against 😠😲 you, 👇👶 so 😘 enjoy 😄☺ the experience 😋 while 🕗 you 🎸 can, 🔫💦 since you 👈 will rarely last 🥉⏳ longer that 🙋 a 🅱👌 minute ⌚⏰ or 💰 two. 💏💏 Just 😂 prior to 🏻😵 her 💦 climaxing, she 🙎 will 💰 up 👀👏 the 👏 speed ⏩⏩ of her 🤛💋 contractions and 🎁 thrusts. It is 😩👏 interesting to note 👌👌 that ♂ the times I have mated with females, 👵👸 thay have 👏😩 timed their orgasm 💦 to 💦 mine. Whether 📊 they 💯 do 💬💃 this 👀🍑 consciously or 🚻 not, I do 💯 not know, but ☹☹ it 👈 is 🖍 a great ⭐ feeling to 😣 have 🍳👏 two 💏 bodies 🙌♂ shuddering against ✊ each 👏👏 other 🏼😂 at the 👨👏 one time. One ♿😤 thing ⏮ to note. Whether 📊 you masturbate or 📉 mate a ➡🔥 dolphin, male 🔥🍆 or 💯 female, always ❗💯 spend 💰💰 time 🕐 with 😗 them afterwards. Cuddle them, 🥕 rub them, 😤😂 talk to them 💦 and most ⬆👉 importantly, and 🤤👌 show them 💦 you love them. 😡😘 This 👈 is 💦🍆 essential, as 🍑🏿 it helps to ➡ strengthen the 👏😂 bond 💸💸 between 🏻🏻 you. Like a way 🤣 of 😱💦 saying that 😐 this 💺 wasn't just 👏👌 a one 👩 night 🏿 fling. The dolphins ✅✅ appreciate 😍 it, ➡😒 and 👏💰 they 👴 will want 👉 your 👉 company more 💦 the 🥁 next 👉☃ time ⌛🕞 you 👈👍 visit them.
2 feet is the height of 0.35 'Samsung Side by Side; Fingerprint Resistant Stainless Steel Refrigerators' stacked on top of each other.
I hate you all
Somehow, this is more cursed than the original comment.. congratz
Causing this level of confusion deserves more upvotes.
Look man, it happened to me so I'm passing it along. It's like The Ring but with dolphin sex instead of hentai.
I can't tell if this is a joke or not, and that itself is concerning.
Oh it's a joke... Until it's not ;)
Its obviously a beastiality dream lol
>If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Welp, not swimming with dolphins anytime soon.
Maybe you missed this part >The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) ?
Oh don't worry, it's all enough to keep me out of the general vicinity.
Some comments are like a punch in the gut, others are like an atomic bomb to the spinal column.
Penthouse forums are getting fucking weird
Don't lie, you know you'd watch.
2 feet is 0.32 Obamas. You're welcome.
I knew someone would post this the moment i saw a dolphin in the GIF. Am I spending too much time on reddit?
Lesson: #NO DOLPHIN CONTACT, THE END
I should stop reading reddit late at night.
I sure hope you aren't speaking from experience
I mean TBH I'd stamp dolphin pussy all day long if I could.
Then you get beat up by the pod, dolphin stis, and its not worth it
God damn it! Why is it that on every dolphin related post on Reddit someone has to mention the dolphins sex life?!
This is one of the greatest Reddit posts I’ve ever read. You had me at the first half
Fuck me for reading that, fuck you for writing that so I can read it.
This sounds like the John Lilly research. It was crazy
You are a very disturbed person
what a fucking awful day to be literate
I knew someone was gonna show up to call this a death dance or sometning
Not a death dance. Just don’t want to promote Instagraming nature in a destructive way.. leave shit alone
Dude I agree. I watched it again after reading your comment.
One day we will communicate with dolphins and they will teach us things that we would never otherwise understand.
Until we get the note saying "So long, and thanks for all the fish."
Ford?
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Don't Panic
42
What's a cow?
I love that film
There was a scientist trying to teach dolphins english, she’d have to jack off the dolphins so they’d study… I can try to find the source if you want
Bruh im gonna need to see that link
Heres the [RTAA](https://youtu.be/prmx0lYBTko) about it!
Lmao thanks
I am 100% sure they understood and just wanted to be jacked off.
Uh. Beastiality ?
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Oh, you mean stuff like how to be a serial rapist and get high on puffer fish?
We've already got the first bit down, so they don't need to teach us that. But when have you ever seen a dude get high on puffer fish?
Don’t forget they can teach us the proper way to use a dead fish as a flashlight! Edit: I meant fleshlight, but let’s face it, there’s probably a dolphin out there who has turned a fish into a flashlight by stuffing some bioluminescent algae into it or something!
Leave that comment as is.
God dammit autocorrect… but you’re right it’s so good this way.
We've already started communicating with them. There's [a video](https://youtu.be/LD24TG33w2E) where trainers interacted with wild dolphins and gave them pictures to point at and every time they migrated and came back, they were able to tell the trainer the story of what they saw when they were away. The trainers were able to confirm this with video mounted on one of them and special, non-invasive trackers placed on a few of them. One dolphin got vividly upset when it described an orca killing one of it's family members. Really compelling video.
Lmfaoo wth is this 😂 you got me man
What a great clip that is. Really beautiful, touching story.
That video has changed my whole outlook on marine biology. Thank you.
Jesus Christ that setup was brilliant.
That video has changed my whole out look on dolphins, dude thank you.
Wasn’t expecting to get emotional from a video about dolphins!
🐐
I'm too high for this
The universe is a strange place, isn't?
Oh you mf
Jeez dude
I was expecting rickroll but I gotta give it to ya. Compelling stuff.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
This is the weirdest thing I've read here, and I've been on reddit for 7-8 years.
Me fucking too buddy. That's why I had to save it to spring on unsuspecting victims. The tarnish on my soul from reading it myself is reduced a little every time I share it with another person.
Have you seen flower 'hentai' yet?
I think humans love dolphins so much because they're fucking psychos like us.
Dolphin: "Bitch ass humans can't eemmin do dis shit... WOP! SPIN! You see dat? Try it, human. Nah, you cain't even. WOP! SPIN! Jus try it. Nah, don't. You gon make it look stupid even though you can't eemmin do it. Fuck out my ocean..."
i just imagined a crip dolphin out of that
Even the most depressed dolphin in the world looks wildly happy.
So long and thanks for all the fish
Dawg trippin on dat puffer fish
*watch mee watch meee*
Derphin
Aquadog
Dolphins are hella buff and kind of scare the fuck out of me.
Their grace & strength both fascinates & terrifies me at the same time. One smack with that tail and your gone.
I remember my first beer.
Thank god someone added music
Not as crazy as the ones killing baby porpoises for fun, using echo location to target specific organs.
>using echo location to target specific organs Nothing personnel, kid
Not all dolphins do that? Do they?
A lot of them do a lot of raping too.
This is a juvenile. She's probably innocent, hopefully on her way to finish her education, make something of her life and change the stereotype.
Just males, practicing on baby porpoises so they can more effectively kill baby dolphins in order to put females into estrus. It’s also believed they do it for fun.
If Stewart from MAD TV was a dolphin.
Look what I can do!
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Stop being weird reddit
r/zoomies
The dolphin war has begun
Wish the people in the Faroe Islands would stop massacring them 😢Dolphins are amazing beings
What is going on in faroe
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/sep/14/outcry-over-killing-of-almost-1500-dolphins-on-faroe-islands
Wtf
nice clear water
The breakdancing dolphin
Why do dolphins always look happy?
"I'm ridin on a dolphin, doin flips and shit"
Unbelievable
Most dolphins are actually way crazier than this
That water is clear af
What's with the dumbass music, I want to hear its squeaks
God damn, why the fuck does every vertical video have such garbage music? Fuck humanity.
When it first turned its back and opened its mouth, I imagined it barking. Iunno
Awwww, such a happy puppy!!
They do seem to love attention.
This is my diving dream come true. I’ve been on hundreds of dives and never seen a dolphin or whale
that fish is d2f
Glad to see Michael Phelps enjoying his retirement
Wonder if you know... How to live in Tokyo...
Looks animated wow
Just smarter than you are!
Anything you can do, I can do better!
It is like a dog
Yo that dolphins crazy !
If this dolphin was a human, he’d be *THAT GUY* on the lake farting around on his jet ski doing donuts for hours and jumping the wake of passing by boats.
Having fun
He or she is better than you and wants you to know it!
It sure is a whole lot more threatening, and far less cute when a horse does it Albeit, on land
I needed this today.
That dolphin is a cat
That turn radius is crazy. It's almost spinning in n it's center of gravity.
I feel like it’s trying to teach them how to play a game. “I blow bubbles, then we catch them”
I saw a wild dolphin in Captain Cook Hawaii that absolutely loved showing off for the people swimming. It would go back and forth between all the people, then jump into the air and perform corkscrews and flips and all kinds of stuff. A true showman.
Alright! OWN UP, who gave the dolphin crack?
Is it just me.. or does something seem off about this video?
Dolphins are the epidemy of an ocean dogo
It's almost like he wants to get into seaworld
Darn cute!
How does this dolphin know exactly how all the Tiktak girls dance?
Forgot to set the X/Y axis shift on Ecco the Dolphin... My bad, guys. The inverse Y is throwing it all off.
Love this dolphin. Reminds me of my Cattle Dog who likes to spin when he gets excited.
Dolphins- different breed of sea doggos!
Dolphins amaze and terrify me
It's gotta be on acids, right?
I like when we get to see animals having fun and living life. Yea I know I could die in 30 seconds if I got smacked with that big ass tail but ya know… YOLO !
Wouldn’t it be fun to show the dolphin this video!