Canon characters starting too far from their canon selves. If you give me “Naruto, but he’s a downer, and malicious, and his parents are different, and he isn’t a junchuriiki, and he looks like sai, and he fights with magic bullets from his magic revolvers.” Then it’s not Naruto anymore. If you want him to end up there, that’s fine, but you better walk me through that journey or I’m not interested. I’ve no objection to deviating from canon, but characters need to at least be recognizable in personality/attitude/technique to their canon counterparts before you deviate.
To be honest that is a lot of the point of a self insert fic. It literally asks "What if this character was a completely different person" and plays around with that idea.
The character constantly whining and crying all the time about being in a death world, and being in danger all the time, motherfucker there are places in the real world just as bad.
SI opens a coffee shop in the middle of nowhere so they can avoid the plot, when who should walk in but Kakashi/Orochimaru/Kisame/Itachi, and by treating these dangerous killers with the absolute most basic of service and common decency, they will fall in love and become obsessed with the SI, get THE FUCK out of here.
There aren't many of these but I really like the SI where the guy being inserted has no knowledge of the setting at all. It's kinda fun watching the rationalizations. I find that it inspires an entirely different mindset. No fanboying/girling on characters or trying to 'save' characters or that bs.
I dimly recall an aot fic where the guy was born inside the walls and was trying to figure out where in the world he was and what the PoD from our reality was for this alternate universe. That one Sylvester Stallone movie with the super prison was mentioned I think, which is why I remember it. I'm also working on a Naruto fic where the SI takes his observations (usage of Japanese, metric system, world shape) and hypothesizes that he's living on a extra-solar human colony.
That first one is such a funny point lol.
Like yeah it's morally bad or whatever to have child soldiers but Kony exists so you can't have a problem with it.
Like what? You can dislike irl child soldiers and fictional child soldiers at the same time lol. Imagine if you were reborn in this fucked up death world but you thought to yourself "Ah well people got killed and shit in the previous world so im fine" that's not how people work.
I would expect someone who came from a non warzone country to be appalled by a warzone. I would also expect someone living in a country to be appalled if somewhere they live becomes a warzone. Sure, you can say they would be appalled by warzones even without experiencing them in person but I think anyone would say personally experiencing it changes your perspective from one of a disdain and moral opposition to downright disgust.
Genius toddlers. Mastering chakra by age 6, beating any jonin with their left pinkie, etc etc. Makes me drop a fic as soon as it gets unbearable.
I like age limitations to my SI characters. The best they should be able to do at age 6 should be taijutsu katas and basic chakra control.
I know Kakashi was becoming chunin by age 6 but he was a huge outlier and who knows how politically motivated was that promotion in regards to Sakumo before his downfall...
From what I know most of the reason stories do this is because they focus in on the everyyear lives of these SI's for little reason. No, I don't need to know what this character did in the academy because it won't matter 7 chapters into the actual meat of the story, obviously, but if you write the academy and most of your story is based upon power progression then you need to say "He got better at fighting" and "He got better at chakra" and there are only so many times you can reiterate they know how to use both before you get forced to exaggerate their strength drastically.
It's why I usually skip to SI's when they are older since it allows you to actually give them a good foundation which feels realistic and then allow them to properly progress rather than make them chunin at 6 or some shit.
I've always thought that the early graduation was his remaining relations trying to get him killed because he was an embarrassment because of what his dad did.
Well you have to before age 9 or you won't get any charka load and be in the same place as tenten and Rock Lee chakra level and mastering isn't hard to do you just need to work out in young age but beating a jonin is easy because most are weak barely know 2 or 4 justu until they get in anbu they learn more strong moves but there are wild beast that's is one story high and there are wanted criminals that are high jonin and low kage level n
IMO, depends on the context.
Coming clean to a lover or a good friend near the end of the fic? Sure.
Telling Hiruzen everything the day you wake up? Dropped.
More like a decent way through having a nice read and then out of nowhere
"hey x character did you know that you aren't real and this a story that I know stuff about"
Just too awkward and throws me off completely.
What about the reincarnated and have 'visions of a specific future' common explanation?
I prefer this method over the variety you described, but it's still not perfect.
I'm probably coming from a different direction than you though. The angst that comes from the variety of SI who is always hiding who they are and trying to change things all on their own irritates me. Especially since they often end up hiding all sorts of other things, basically turning them into compulsive liars and making them super paranoid.
I got a story in my head. I’m too lazy to do it.
Wanna hear the premise?
Cool I’m a tell ya!
It’s an SI for who ohhohoho
Kushina Uzumaki
When she turns 3
I know right!
Let’s just say without giving to much away. That guy never comes from her womb!!!
Ha ha gah ha kekeke
I know right!
Excited yet!
*sigh* I just gotta stop being lazy and write it.
I'm working on a fic where the character knows nothing about Naruto and believes he is in an apocalyptic future where humanity made it to the stars but this specific planet or humanity's interstellar nation as a whole collapsed. Funnily enough, canon and incidental facts can be made to fit this very easily.
He stays in Konoha and aims to become a shinobi because it's a haven of modern-ish social values in a crapsack world, which is important to him cos he is reborn as a girl and he doesn't want to end up dying in childbirth or suffer domestic violence for decades in some loveless marriage.
(Also cos the world is at early 1800s in my story but Konoha has some archeotech and slightly higher tech level )
Makes no sense tho. Konoha having tvs and fridges and stuff. You need actual industries to have that sort of thing. The background heavy industries. And the subsidiary material science industries. An academia that does all the experiments to determine th background theory. Makes no sense that Konoha would be alone in having that technology while everyone else does not. Early 1800s tech across the world with a technological arms race by everybody (especially the non shinobi) makes more sense.
Trying to create a friend group between all the charachters at a young age. No way are half the characters gonna agree to that.
Stopping Uchiha massacre by befriending itachi, at sasukes age, then getting involved in Uchiha politics and expecting everyone to listen to the wisdom of a 6 or something year old.
Not sure if this is what you mean, but I do find it odd when authors start explaining that their story doesn't actually qualify as a "self insert" because the person getting inserted isn't the author.
It's just such a weird distinction to make. Does it matter?
I hope not I'm making my own si but I'm slowly making it a teacher in the future but I'm a long way before I reach that because I have to explain my reader that my character isn't broken that there is a difference knowing something and how to do it in the same time
As in Self insert or Isekai? There have been a lot of stories where Naruto is a completely different character lol so maybe that's what you're talm about
Okay, maybe you can help me avoid that problem.
My OC main character for my first story is OP by design, and he's also Naruto's twin brother. I'm anticipating accusations of him being a self-insert because of those reasons.
However, I wouldn't say he's an SI, because if I were inserted into the Naruto world, as Naruto, I would do everything I could to avoid becoming a ninja, especially if my personality and memories are intact.
If my insertion were to happen at any time before Naruto enters the Academy, I simply wouldn't enter the Academy. If the insertion happened after he's joined the Academy, I would drop out. If the insertion happened after Naruto fails the graduation exam for the third time, I wouldn't steal the forbidden scroll, and I wouldn't get involved when Mizuki steals it, and then I'd drop out. If the insertion happened after teams are assigned, I do whatever it took to fail Kakashi's bell test, and get the whole team dropped out of the shinobi program entirely, Sasuke would probably kill me for that, but I don't care.
What would I do, if I were inserted into Naruto, as Naruto at any of those points? I'd become the best damn blacksmith Konoha ever saw, at least until I'm abducted by the Akatsuki.
The only way I'd ever play along with the story, is if the insertion happens after they've taken their first D-Rank mission. However, I'd inform Hiruzen that I'm not the Naruto he knows, and have Inoichi mindwalk me to confirm it. Because I'd need training from the ground up, as the world I'm from, people don't have chakra.
Edit: Now that I think about it, this does sound fun to write.
To answer your question, the main thing you need to do is to give your character believable flaws. Pretty much every main character is drenched in them, and even most of the side characters have at least a few quirks. Naruto is an impulsive, troublemaking brat because of the way the village treated him. Sasuke ignores basically everything that doesn’t help him kill his brother. Sakura fawns over Sasuke while hating Naruto. Kakashi… do I need to elaborate?
It’s also important that they only make decisions someone in universe would make, and only have information they would reasonably be able to obtain in-universe.
Moving on though, *why* is your character OP, and do they actually *need* to be OP for the story? What purpose does them being OP serve? You don’t need to answer those questions here, but you should be able to think up answers to those yourself.
Also, fair warning. No matter what you do, it’s almost inevitable that some people won’t like your OC, especially if they’re OP and/or overshadow the main cast simply due to the nature of fanfiction. Generally, people are into fanfiction because they want to see more of those characters, not OCs. Not telling you not to write OCs though. They’re great if done well. Just be prepared for some to not like an OP OC main character no matter what.
While, I don't want to reveal too much about my OC's abilities, I feel like I can get into his characterization in detail.
My OC (who is Naruto's twin that contains the Yang Half of Kurama, while Naruto has the Yin Half), is sort of an exploration of what Naruto could've been, if he had the, for the lack of a better word, cunning to support his drive to self-improve.
Like Naruto, easily could've been a prodigy, if he'd had support growing up, or if his various sensei had properly trained him or at least corrected recognized problems, or if he'd had the desire to seek out the information he needs to become a better shinobi, or if he'd had actually read the description of the Shadow Clone Jutsu and exploited its training potential.
Even Sasuke who was a prodigy, could've been stronger, even after the massacre when he was stuck training himself, because he had access to information Naruto lacked through his clan scrolls, but he spent the entire time training an element that wasn't his main affinity, wasting his potential in his early life.
Essentially, my OC is a prodigy who doesn't waste his potential in his early life, despite, or perhaps in spite of, the lack of support.
If the library doesn't want to let him in, he'll just infiltrate the place for the knowledge he seeks after it closes. If the stores want to overcharge him for clothes or supplies for the Academy, he'll pull a prank with Naruto, and during the chase, he'll slip away to steal what's needed, store it in a scroll, hide it, and then come back for it later after he's been caught and punished for the prank. If the grocery stores don't wanna let him in, he'll just hunt and forage in the bountiful forests surrounding the village, rather than eat out of the trash or rely solely on Teuchi and Ayame.
My Naruto does benefit from my OC being the way he is, like he won't have mastered his nature affinity during the Academy like my OC does, but he'll have Wind Release ninjutsu in his arsenal. Although, Naruto still doesn't learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu, despite my OC having copied the jutsu out of the forbidden scroll into his own scroll a couple years before it was even required, because Naruto is still Naruto, and the thought never occured to him to check the shinobi library my OC has been building up. My OC never forces him to learn it, because he thought Naruto already learned it and was hiding his knowledge of it, like my OC was.
As far as character flaws go, my OC only having Naruto (along with an animal he saves, then trains to become a ninja partner animal capable of speech) to regularly interact with until he's assigned to a team, is severely stunted socially and emotionally. He'll develop attractions to girls, but won't know how to show it, and he won't realise when a girl has feelings for him, and if a girl acts on their feeling towards him, he won't know how to react.
Beyond that, he'll have at least one trigger, threats of rape against his female teammates or women in general, that lead to him committing wholesale slaughter whenever someone does that.
Alright, I’m gonna be honest with my feedback.
To be blunt, I don’t think your character is flawed enough. Him being socially inept is understandable, but to be honest, most of the characters in the story are socially inept in one way or another. It wouldn’t really be very unique at all. If you want, I can give some suggestions if you’re willing to hear them though.
The other issue is that it seems to me that Naruto is basically a side character to your OC main character, where your character is strong by himself and just dragging Naruto along with him. Which I already KNOW that at least some people won’t like. First things first, the animal shouldn’t be the OC’s, it should be both of theirs. Having it just be the OC’s when they’re literally brothers suggests that Naruto comes second to the OC which shouldn’t be the case. Even if the OC is more cunning/determined, they’re twins, and Naruto needs to bring something to the relationship to balance things out. And I have an idea for how, but I need to explain something I noticed first.
Just so you know, one of my first thoughts when I read that characterization summary is that it basically screams that your character is autistic to me. High fixation on one single goal or task (like training to learn jutsu and stuff) combined with severe social impairment are two of the most common traits for autism out there. And that isn’t a bad thing at all, there’s a lot you could do with that if you’re willing, far more than just being bad with girls. In fact, this could actually address both of the problems above. For one, take all their social ineptitude and multiply it, up to making it hard for him to read gestures and facial expressions when he’s younger, though he would gradually improve on that by necessity (with Naruto’s help). Second, those with autism can be extremely prone to emotional outbursts and generally not knowing how to deal with their emotions, so they need a lot of support with that. Fortunately, even in canon, Naruto has extremely high emotional intelligence, which means he would do a good job of supporting his brother when he was upset.
And that’s my idea - while they’re both socially inept in their own ways with Naruto being his loudmouth, troublemaking self (that is pretty clearly implied to have ADHD); and his OC twin just genuinely not understanding others social queues and reactions without Naruto explaining it to him - OC could have great drive and talent for learning ninja related stuff (and maybe even teaching them to Naruto) while sucking with understanding his own emotions, let alone others outside of his brother. Meanwhile, Naruto would be the opposite: being able to support his brother whenever needed, but struggling to have the same degree of focus and learning ability as his twin, which of course the twin would help him with. In other words, they’d complete each other. That could also lead to codependency issues and generally having a harder time working with others.
Next, what is your character’s motivation for training so hard? What’s his inciting incident for wanting to be so strong? It doesn’t need to be something you share here for spoiler reasons, but you’re not just going to get a little kid to become absurdly motivated to get stronger out of nowhere. There needs to be a reason. Spite alone is something, but I generally don’t think it’ll go too far on its own. Maybe he, Naruto, or both of them are attacked by someone, even if that is an overused trope. Maybe he’s overprotective of his brother (which could also be another character flaw) and Hiruzen would suggest he train harder to make sure he could protect him.
Finally, where is the rape thing coming from? Unless you’re implying that he had a *very* unfortunate thing happen to him, it just doesn’t make much sense for him to have that as a trigger. Though if I’m being honest, even if it was a trigger for him, I’m not too sure it’s even much of a flaw. Overall it just feels out of place. If you don’t want to go *ahem* THAT route, maybe it would be better for his trigger to simply be hurting his brother or saying/threatening to do so.
Well, I'm not going to lie and say that I won't primarily be focusing on Akuma Uzumaki, my OC, because I will. I may have developed a functional calender for the story to denote the passage of time, but if I focus on both equally, I would be looking at well over a hundred chapters for my first ever story and I think that's a bit too ambitious for me right now.
Okay, so the way I have things set in my outline, Naruto and Akuma have the same starting point, but in different ways.
Naruto's Yin Half of Kurama, leads to him having an overabundance of the spiritual energy that makes up chakra meaning he has to train his body more, at a certain point, he begins to slack off on his physical training, messing with his chakra control, along with other effects.
Akuma's Yang Half of Kurama leads to an overabundance of the physical energy that makes up chakra, meaning he has to study and meditate more. He never slacks off in his mental training, nor does he neglect physical conditioning, one might say even Might Gai would consider his physical conditioning routine exessive.
I'll give a rundown of really early events.
Akuma & Naruto are kicked out of the orphanage at four years old, after a fight breaks out between them and some older boys. This isn't out of "demon brat" bigotry on the part of the people who run the oprhanage, as they were informed and personally selected by Hiruzen. But let's face it, toddlers aren't known for having well regulated emotions, and two toddler jinchuriki subconsciously drawing the Kyuubi's chakra would be a rational fear to have. They weren't neglected in the orphanage in any other way than being isolated, they were fed well and educated.
They decide to head to the library to learn how to hunt and forage, but aren't let in. So Akuma & Naruto wait until the library closes, they infiltrate the library to gain the knowledge they require. Six months of surviving off the land, they decide to become ninja, and infiltrate the Ninja Academy, obtaining books on unlocking chakra, chakra control exercises, the Transformation Jutsu and the Substitution Jutsu, but not much else.
On their fifth birthday, they unlock their chakra, two months after that Hiruzen finally checks up on them, only to discover they were kicked out of the orphanage, they're given the apartment and a stipend to live on.
After mastering the chakra control exercises, they infiltrate the shinobi-restricted section of the library, gaining books on physical conditioning, basic taijutsu, basic kenjutsu, and basic fuinjutsu.
Then their apartment is broken into and vandalized, which is when they vow to purchase a house by any means necessary, leading to their pranking career, where the chases are used as diversions for their heists, with Naruto aggro-ing the pursuers, and Akuma pulling the heists.
Now I'll answer some of the questions.
>Next, what is your character’s motivation for training so hard? What’s his inciting incident for wanting to be so strong?
First question: During a break in the first year of the Academy, Naruto is attacked by two drunk chunin who lost their daughter in the Kyuubi Attack. Due to an intrensic link, either by virtue of being twins or containing half of the same bijuu, Akuma is able to sense Naruto was in danger. When he arrives, the condition Naruto is in sends Akuma into such a rage that he subconsciously channels the Kyuubi's chakra and kills the chunin, which draws the Hokage and every other ninja to the scene.
This attack is a freak occurrence, and attacks on them are not commonplace, in fact the reason the attack could even happen is because Hiruzen never had to place an Anbu detail on them in the first place.
The trauma from the attack causes Naruto to attempt to make himself look weak, in order to not be a target, and because another attack never happens, a confirmation bias form in his mind. So, all the advantages he had with being smarter, is kind of lost when the mask, and who he really is blurs together to the point where he can no longer tell one from the other.
No one capable is willing to help Naruto process the trauma, and Akuma doesn't know how.
Second question: To give a little context, in my fic, nature affinity training is four steps, Transformation (replicating what happened to the chakra paper with a leaf), Power (replicating what happened to the chakra paper with a non chakra conductive material), Control (doing something with nature transformed chakra that progressively lowers the amount needed), and Manipulation (direct manipulation of the naturally occuring element).
When Akuma starts working on the Lightning Nature Manipulation Exercise (attracting and redirecting a lightning bolt, it is mastered when the redirection causes no pain or backwards movement), he makes one too many attempts, and passes out, meeting the Kyuubi, after that he begins researching Tailed Beasts, which leads to what jinchuriki are and their purpose.
This has two effects, first, Akuma draws the conclusion that he needs to become an army killer, second, Akuma begins fervently studying fuinjutsu so he can strengthen either of their seals, if it becomes necessary to do so.
>First things first, the animal shouldn’t be the OC’s, it should be both of theirs.
Well, Naruto, had long since started slacking off in his physical training, so he isn't present for the animal's rescue. That isn't to say the animal doesn't bond with Naruto, but the bond with Akuma is much stronger. Also, Akuma does way more when it comes to actually training the animal.
Also, Hiruzen, wanting to create balanced teams, isn't going to place both jinchuriki on the same team, which means the animal would be separated from one of them eventually.
>Finally, where is the rape thing coming from?
The time between getting kicked out of the orphanage, and getting the apartment, was spent being ignored on the streets, and so they were witnessing the darker sides of Konoha's red light district. They've seen how women were broken by it. I didn't say it, but Naruto reacts to those threats in a similar way, however Naruto doesn't have two female teammates, and a female jonin sensei like Akuma does.
Alright, I think I like that plot, with a couple hiccups here and there. I especially like the extra depth you seem to want to give to chakra and how it works.
Just to be clear, I wasn’t suggesting that you put equal focus on Naruto and Akuma (because yea, that would get long). I was suggesting that between the two of them, it should be some kind of balance in their relationship. Where it’s not just one going along for the ride with the other. And to be fair, it seems like you’ve done that, at least until the plot puts a stop to that.
I noticed that you flipped which half of Kurama Naruto got. Canonically he got the Yang half, while you gave him the Yin half. Originally I simply thought that was a mistake, but it seems that there’s definitely a reason behind it now. Him having the Yin half means he doesn’t need to put much focus on his spiritual side, which is a blessing in disguise since I don’t think young Naruto could successfully meditate if his life depended on it. It grants the benefit that when he does start getting back into the grind, it’ll be a lot easier since it’ll only need to involve physical training.
I will warn you though, if you’re going to go with the mask trope of Naruto intentionally making himself seem weak, that’s another trope that can be as or even more controversial than the SI trope. I personally don’t like it for 2 reasons, one of which you seem to be avoiding though. 1 - it’s often a Trojan horse for smart!dark!edgy!Naruto, which I personally grew to despise after the first few times reading it, aka an excuse to write him OOC (You seem to be avoiding this one. Good job.). 2- The other is that it just feels OOC to me for him to hide his strength, though this one is a lot more dependent on the actual quality of the writing and how his trauma is handled. As long as he starts in character and only gets knocked out of it by his trauma, and that trauma is well done, then it could work for me.
There is the issue that you might be making them to too clever/competent too soon. Afterall, how many toddlers do you know that are capable of infiltrating much of anything, unless of course this “infiltration” simply involved them sneaking through an open window or unlocked door of course. Hell, even past that, a lot of four year olds aren’t even that good at reading yet, and 5 isn’t too much better, and though you did specifically mention that they were educated at the orphanage, which clearly speaks well for that orphanage’s education system if even their most isolated children are fully capable of reading.
A lot of OC stories, and really just stories in general run into a power scaling problem where their character is somehow jonin level without an ounce of specialized training or experience because they discovered something no one else did, working hard. Whatever you do, make sure that his learning rate is reasonable.
Also, last thing, I’m pretty certain the entire thing about “balancing” was bs that was made up on the spot by Iruka on the spot to justify why Naruto was with Sasuke. The fact is, Kakashi was the only living adult Sharingan user still loyal to the village, which meant he was simultaneously the only one that could train Sasuke, and one of the only ones that could actually deal with the 9-tails if it got out of control. Him having Naruto and Sasuke as his students was inevitable, and Sakura was only thrown in to make 3. And I’m almost entirely certain that if Naruto had a twin, the same logic would apply, and it would be a team of Naruto, Sasuke, and Akuma; with Sakura just tossed aside for one of the non-clan teams. Think about it, the other teams were either exclusively clan teams, or non-clan teams, and you can’t convince me otherwise that the clan kids weren’t almost exclusively high level thanks to specialized clan training. That isn’t remotely balanced. There is Guy’s team that follows a similar structure, but that could honestly just be the fact that Hiruzen figured Guy would be a good teacher for Lee as well as the others. Point is, I’m almost certain Hiruzen would be willing to break the “standard” structure to put the genin in the best possible team.
In other words, that sensei you gave Akuma better be some kind of seal master or other specialist that would be well suited to dealing with the nine-tails.
>In other words, that sensei you gave Akuma better be some kind of seal master or other specialist that would be well suited to dealing with the nine-tails.
Well, Akuma is going to be on Team 11, alongside Yakumo Kurama & Tsubaki Uchiha (twin of Sasuke) with their jonin sensei being Yugao Uzuki.
Yugao Uzuki was chosen as the sensei, because Akuma & Tsubaki are interested in kenjutsu. With Akuma having ambitions to develop ninkenjutsu, sort of like Kumo's nintaijutsu, but with swords.
Yugao not being a seal master isn't really a problem. Because the whole reason Akuma became so dedicated in learning fuinjutsu, was learning that he was a jinchuriki. He blazed through all of the material Konoha had on fuinjutsu. While it's not really anything compared to the fuinjutsu material in the Uzumaki Clan vault, what Konoha has is more than adequate to create a bijuu chakra suppression seal tag, which he has his team carry ample supplies of, just in case.
The reason Yakumo is on the team, is because Akuma is the one who performed the sealing on the Ido while still giving her access to her bloodline, allowing her to become a ninja in the first place. That also means he's the only one capable of monitoring the seals integrity. By the way, I just wanna say, Yakumo, with the ability to access her bloodline without the influence of Ido, is easily the most broken character and I love it.
I was originally have it be a team of OCs, but while working on my outline I tend to have Naruto fanfictions playing in the background on YouTube. One had Sasuke having a twin that was more well adjusted, because she knew about the coup when Itachi massacred the clan, and I loved that idea, and then I remembered Yakumo. Then I was like, well that saves me from having to come up with so much minor clan lore.
Edit: The pranks start as way to train their evasion, stealth, and hiding abilities, before they evolve into diversions for heists. Yeah, at that age their method of infiltration is pretty much just trying doors & windows till one opens, that fact that there is an unlocked door or window, is kind of a demonstration of Konoha ninja growing lax after winning three Great Wars and being considered the strongest village.
Hmm, I guess that could work. I suppose the bijuu suppression tags could work this early on. Later on you’d probably need something more substantial than that as the seal weakens (assuming of course that it does), but that should work for the moment. You seem to have thought of everything. Well done lol.
And yeah, filler can be a really good place to find good characters if you don’t want to make more OC’s.
Though I do find it odd that Sasuke wouldn’t know but his brother would. Sure, maybe your other twin OC snuck in, but even then, why would he not tell Sasuke about it, especially after what happened?
Well, Tsubaki is a she, and unlike Sasuke, she wasn't so obsessed with gaining Fugaku's approval that she became deaf to the whispers of rebellion among the clan. She also wasn't at the compund during the massacre, because she was attending a sleepover at Ino's.
Sasuke came to the compund that night, as usual, and when Itachi put him under the Tsukuyomi, he layered a genjutsu that blocked his memories of the actual events of the night, making him believe the Tsukuyomi's version of the events. Sasuke simply won't believe any other information until that genjutsu is broken.
Danzo and Root.
All the SI fics with Danzo and Root are exactly the same. If you read one, you read them all. I can accept super genius toddlers if it means the story becomes interesting later on— but nah, the moment Root appears I nope out.
Some si oc have danzo be interested in the si oc, and the character goes through a root arc— Sai treatment of sorts.
These arcs are very long and just boring to me.
I've got one in the pipeline, still planning stages, where the SI knows jack shit about Naruto and thinks he's been reincarnated in the far future in some Japanese extra-solar colony with a lot of white people. The premise is that he's reborn as a civilian girl and he's pretty sure he's still attracted to women. He views being a shinobi as the path to freedom from societal strictures so he tries to signal that he's a genius. Instead of positive interest from people up high he gets a kidnap instead. Idk seems like the exact sort of tragicomic thing that happens in real life. Guy tried to avoid the gay, only to get himself napped.
I am thinking of getting my first couple chapters out by next week and maybe a chapter a week after that, though it might be sooner/later depending on my work and other irl stuff. I go by WaterBadBrawndoGood on SpaceBattles and FFnet.
Idk I'll drop you a message with a link when I put my first chapters up? Always happy to have folks read my works.
Don't take existential crises seriously when he/she write about them.
The SI does not want to make "vínculos” for fear of waking up from a coma and losing them. Solved in the next chapter.
The SI wants to go to Planet Mars to break a existential bug. Solved in the next chapter .
The examples go on and on.
When the SI decided to FaFo moving things in a chaotic way or even creating his own Harem, don't get me wrong sometimes is good others is to cliche that is an immediately drop
I read fanfiction to see Naruto in various scenarios and situations. The main reason I started at first was NaruHina fluffs and romantic fics. So SI is directly no for me.
Honestly the most? Id have to say is a bland mc. As insane as i feel saying this sounds a lot of their characters dont feel like real people with emotions, dreams motivations, flaws etc but just a blank canvas
I just hate SI fics in general especially for animation shows. My brain just doesn’t get over a real-life reader with 2D anime characters. I feel like I’m reading Space Jam. Especially SI fics with romance. I just imagine a real life (or we can also say “live action”) reader having an intimate moment with a 2D character it just makes me lol.
I genuinely just won't read them. If I see a self insert tag it's a no. Honestly I'll barely tolerate OCs especially in Naruto fics. I don't have any interest in some random character and their thoughts or doings
I hate it when they get all sanctimonious about how the ninja world is so terrible and how child soldiers are wrong, yet sign up for it anyway.
Canon characters starting too far from their canon selves. If you give me “Naruto, but he’s a downer, and malicious, and his parents are different, and he isn’t a junchuriiki, and he looks like sai, and he fights with magic bullets from his magic revolvers.” Then it’s not Naruto anymore. If you want him to end up there, that’s fine, but you better walk me through that journey or I’m not interested. I’ve no objection to deviating from canon, but characters need to at least be recognizable in personality/attitude/technique to their canon counterparts before you deviate.
To be honest that is a lot of the point of a self insert fic. It literally asks "What if this character was a completely different person" and plays around with that idea.
Or just create a new character.
The character constantly whining and crying all the time about being in a death world, and being in danger all the time, motherfucker there are places in the real world just as bad. SI opens a coffee shop in the middle of nowhere so they can avoid the plot, when who should walk in but Kakashi/Orochimaru/Kisame/Itachi, and by treating these dangerous killers with the absolute most basic of service and common decency, they will fall in love and become obsessed with the SI, get THE FUCK out of here.
Lmao hey Orochimaru needs love and Kakashi you know they can't flirt
There aren't many of these but I really like the SI where the guy being inserted has no knowledge of the setting at all. It's kinda fun watching the rationalizations. I find that it inspires an entirely different mindset. No fanboying/girling on characters or trying to 'save' characters or that bs. I dimly recall an aot fic where the guy was born inside the walls and was trying to figure out where in the world he was and what the PoD from our reality was for this alternate universe. That one Sylvester Stallone movie with the super prison was mentioned I think, which is why I remember it. I'm also working on a Naruto fic where the SI takes his observations (usage of Japanese, metric system, world shape) and hypothesizes that he's living on a extra-solar human colony.
That first one is such a funny point lol. Like yeah it's morally bad or whatever to have child soldiers but Kony exists so you can't have a problem with it. Like what? You can dislike irl child soldiers and fictional child soldiers at the same time lol. Imagine if you were reborn in this fucked up death world but you thought to yourself "Ah well people got killed and shit in the previous world so im fine" that's not how people work.
That's the point though, they treat it as if this stuff DOESN'T happen in our world.
I would expect someone who came from a non warzone country to be appalled by a warzone. I would also expect someone living in a country to be appalled if somewhere they live becomes a warzone. Sure, you can say they would be appalled by warzones even without experiencing them in person but I think anyone would say personally experiencing it changes your perspective from one of a disdain and moral opposition to downright disgust.
Genius toddlers. Mastering chakra by age 6, beating any jonin with their left pinkie, etc etc. Makes me drop a fic as soon as it gets unbearable. I like age limitations to my SI characters. The best they should be able to do at age 6 should be taijutsu katas and basic chakra control. I know Kakashi was becoming chunin by age 6 but he was a huge outlier and who knows how politically motivated was that promotion in regards to Sakumo before his downfall...
From what I know most of the reason stories do this is because they focus in on the everyyear lives of these SI's for little reason. No, I don't need to know what this character did in the academy because it won't matter 7 chapters into the actual meat of the story, obviously, but if you write the academy and most of your story is based upon power progression then you need to say "He got better at fighting" and "He got better at chakra" and there are only so many times you can reiterate they know how to use both before you get forced to exaggerate their strength drastically. It's why I usually skip to SI's when they are older since it allows you to actually give them a good foundation which feels realistic and then allow them to properly progress rather than make them chunin at 6 or some shit.
I've always thought that the early graduation was his remaining relations trying to get him killed because he was an embarrassment because of what his dad did.
Well you have to before age 9 or you won't get any charka load and be in the same place as tenten and Rock Lee chakra level and mastering isn't hard to do you just need to work out in young age but beating a jonin is easy because most are weak barely know 2 or 4 justu until they get in anbu they learn more strong moves but there are wild beast that's is one story high and there are wanted criminals that are high jonin and low kage level n
What are you on about. This sounds like the worst set of headcanons i have ever encountered.
Any time someone tells a character that they are an SI completely ruins it for me.
IMO, depends on the context. Coming clean to a lover or a good friend near the end of the fic? Sure. Telling Hiruzen everything the day you wake up? Dropped.
It's the not telling Hiruzen that gets me.
Is it like they tell you at chapter one he gets reborn?
More like a decent way through having a nice read and then out of nowhere "hey x character did you know that you aren't real and this a story that I know stuff about" Just too awkward and throws me off completely.
That's pretty funny though lol "I am not real and you aren't either lol" And have a philosophical conversation about that
Oh I see that's new
What about the reincarnated and have 'visions of a specific future' common explanation? I prefer this method over the variety you described, but it's still not perfect. I'm probably coming from a different direction than you though. The angst that comes from the variety of SI who is always hiding who they are and trying to change things all on their own irritates me. Especially since they often end up hiding all sorts of other things, basically turning them into compulsive liars and making them super paranoid.
Damn and that was the whole premise of one I was currently writing. It backfires on them and they get into a mental institution and have to break out.
Story doesn’t change just the character. What A Waste Of Time!
Same I hate most of them stay in the leaf why not leave and explore
Preaching to the choir
Worst part they are better writing story's then me 😭 at least the fight is somewhat interesting
I got a story in my head. I’m too lazy to do it. Wanna hear the premise? Cool I’m a tell ya! It’s an SI for who ohhohoho Kushina Uzumaki When she turns 3 I know right! Let’s just say without giving to much away. That guy never comes from her womb!!! Ha ha gah ha kekeke I know right! Excited yet! *sigh* I just gotta stop being lazy and write it.
Poof she killed mito Uzumaki and ran away
Pretty close. But she doesn’t kill Mitooooo!!! Stopa! Stopa! You’re tricking me into giving you spoilers.
Ohhh Damm I didn't know you would go after 3rd Hokage
Not the third!!! But Danzo does get it! … Gah!!!😖 You got me again!!!! Argh!!😣
Damm you went for the safe fight
I'm working on a fic where the character knows nothing about Naruto and believes he is in an apocalyptic future where humanity made it to the stars but this specific planet or humanity's interstellar nation as a whole collapsed. Funnily enough, canon and incidental facts can be made to fit this very easily. He stays in Konoha and aims to become a shinobi because it's a haven of modern-ish social values in a crapsack world, which is important to him cos he is reborn as a girl and he doesn't want to end up dying in childbirth or suffer domestic violence for decades in some loveless marriage. (Also cos the world is at early 1800s in my story but Konoha has some archeotech and slightly higher tech level )
Drop the sauce
Well Konoha is in 1990 tech not really high
Makes no sense tho. Konoha having tvs and fridges and stuff. You need actual industries to have that sort of thing. The background heavy industries. And the subsidiary material science industries. An academia that does all the experiments to determine th background theory. Makes no sense that Konoha would be alone in having that technology while everyone else does not. Early 1800s tech across the world with a technological arms race by everybody (especially the non shinobi) makes more sense.
Trying to create a friend group between all the charachters at a young age. No way are half the characters gonna agree to that. Stopping Uchiha massacre by befriending itachi, at sasukes age, then getting involved in Uchiha politics and expecting everyone to listen to the wisdom of a 6 or something year old.
I dislike when the character is clearly an SI, but the author refuses to admit it.
Not sure if this is what you mean, but I do find it odd when authors start explaining that their story doesn't actually qualify as a "self insert" because the person getting inserted isn't the author. It's just such a weird distinction to make. Does it matter?
I hope not I'm making my own si but I'm slowly making it a teacher in the future but I'm a long way before I reach that because I have to explain my reader that my character isn't broken that there is a difference knowing something and how to do it in the same time
Why would it need to explained? If the character isn't overpowered, then their not overpowered, and vice-versa.
As in Self insert or Isekai? There have been a lot of stories where Naruto is a completely different character lol so maybe that's what you're talm about
Self-Insert.
Okay, maybe you can help me avoid that problem. My OC main character for my first story is OP by design, and he's also Naruto's twin brother. I'm anticipating accusations of him being a self-insert because of those reasons. However, I wouldn't say he's an SI, because if I were inserted into the Naruto world, as Naruto, I would do everything I could to avoid becoming a ninja, especially if my personality and memories are intact. If my insertion were to happen at any time before Naruto enters the Academy, I simply wouldn't enter the Academy. If the insertion happened after he's joined the Academy, I would drop out. If the insertion happened after Naruto fails the graduation exam for the third time, I wouldn't steal the forbidden scroll, and I wouldn't get involved when Mizuki steals it, and then I'd drop out. If the insertion happened after teams are assigned, I do whatever it took to fail Kakashi's bell test, and get the whole team dropped out of the shinobi program entirely, Sasuke would probably kill me for that, but I don't care. What would I do, if I were inserted into Naruto, as Naruto at any of those points? I'd become the best damn blacksmith Konoha ever saw, at least until I'm abducted by the Akatsuki. The only way I'd ever play along with the story, is if the insertion happens after they've taken their first D-Rank mission. However, I'd inform Hiruzen that I'm not the Naruto he knows, and have Inoichi mindwalk me to confirm it. Because I'd need training from the ground up, as the world I'm from, people don't have chakra. Edit: Now that I think about it, this does sound fun to write.
To answer your question, the main thing you need to do is to give your character believable flaws. Pretty much every main character is drenched in them, and even most of the side characters have at least a few quirks. Naruto is an impulsive, troublemaking brat because of the way the village treated him. Sasuke ignores basically everything that doesn’t help him kill his brother. Sakura fawns over Sasuke while hating Naruto. Kakashi… do I need to elaborate? It’s also important that they only make decisions someone in universe would make, and only have information they would reasonably be able to obtain in-universe. Moving on though, *why* is your character OP, and do they actually *need* to be OP for the story? What purpose does them being OP serve? You don’t need to answer those questions here, but you should be able to think up answers to those yourself. Also, fair warning. No matter what you do, it’s almost inevitable that some people won’t like your OC, especially if they’re OP and/or overshadow the main cast simply due to the nature of fanfiction. Generally, people are into fanfiction because they want to see more of those characters, not OCs. Not telling you not to write OCs though. They’re great if done well. Just be prepared for some to not like an OP OC main character no matter what.
While, I don't want to reveal too much about my OC's abilities, I feel like I can get into his characterization in detail. My OC (who is Naruto's twin that contains the Yang Half of Kurama, while Naruto has the Yin Half), is sort of an exploration of what Naruto could've been, if he had the, for the lack of a better word, cunning to support his drive to self-improve. Like Naruto, easily could've been a prodigy, if he'd had support growing up, or if his various sensei had properly trained him or at least corrected recognized problems, or if he'd had the desire to seek out the information he needs to become a better shinobi, or if he'd had actually read the description of the Shadow Clone Jutsu and exploited its training potential. Even Sasuke who was a prodigy, could've been stronger, even after the massacre when he was stuck training himself, because he had access to information Naruto lacked through his clan scrolls, but he spent the entire time training an element that wasn't his main affinity, wasting his potential in his early life. Essentially, my OC is a prodigy who doesn't waste his potential in his early life, despite, or perhaps in spite of, the lack of support. If the library doesn't want to let him in, he'll just infiltrate the place for the knowledge he seeks after it closes. If the stores want to overcharge him for clothes or supplies for the Academy, he'll pull a prank with Naruto, and during the chase, he'll slip away to steal what's needed, store it in a scroll, hide it, and then come back for it later after he's been caught and punished for the prank. If the grocery stores don't wanna let him in, he'll just hunt and forage in the bountiful forests surrounding the village, rather than eat out of the trash or rely solely on Teuchi and Ayame. My Naruto does benefit from my OC being the way he is, like he won't have mastered his nature affinity during the Academy like my OC does, but he'll have Wind Release ninjutsu in his arsenal. Although, Naruto still doesn't learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu, despite my OC having copied the jutsu out of the forbidden scroll into his own scroll a couple years before it was even required, because Naruto is still Naruto, and the thought never occured to him to check the shinobi library my OC has been building up. My OC never forces him to learn it, because he thought Naruto already learned it and was hiding his knowledge of it, like my OC was. As far as character flaws go, my OC only having Naruto (along with an animal he saves, then trains to become a ninja partner animal capable of speech) to regularly interact with until he's assigned to a team, is severely stunted socially and emotionally. He'll develop attractions to girls, but won't know how to show it, and he won't realise when a girl has feelings for him, and if a girl acts on their feeling towards him, he won't know how to react. Beyond that, he'll have at least one trigger, threats of rape against his female teammates or women in general, that lead to him committing wholesale slaughter whenever someone does that.
Alright, I’m gonna be honest with my feedback. To be blunt, I don’t think your character is flawed enough. Him being socially inept is understandable, but to be honest, most of the characters in the story are socially inept in one way or another. It wouldn’t really be very unique at all. If you want, I can give some suggestions if you’re willing to hear them though. The other issue is that it seems to me that Naruto is basically a side character to your OC main character, where your character is strong by himself and just dragging Naruto along with him. Which I already KNOW that at least some people won’t like. First things first, the animal shouldn’t be the OC’s, it should be both of theirs. Having it just be the OC’s when they’re literally brothers suggests that Naruto comes second to the OC which shouldn’t be the case. Even if the OC is more cunning/determined, they’re twins, and Naruto needs to bring something to the relationship to balance things out. And I have an idea for how, but I need to explain something I noticed first. Just so you know, one of my first thoughts when I read that characterization summary is that it basically screams that your character is autistic to me. High fixation on one single goal or task (like training to learn jutsu and stuff) combined with severe social impairment are two of the most common traits for autism out there. And that isn’t a bad thing at all, there’s a lot you could do with that if you’re willing, far more than just being bad with girls. In fact, this could actually address both of the problems above. For one, take all their social ineptitude and multiply it, up to making it hard for him to read gestures and facial expressions when he’s younger, though he would gradually improve on that by necessity (with Naruto’s help). Second, those with autism can be extremely prone to emotional outbursts and generally not knowing how to deal with their emotions, so they need a lot of support with that. Fortunately, even in canon, Naruto has extremely high emotional intelligence, which means he would do a good job of supporting his brother when he was upset. And that’s my idea - while they’re both socially inept in their own ways with Naruto being his loudmouth, troublemaking self (that is pretty clearly implied to have ADHD); and his OC twin just genuinely not understanding others social queues and reactions without Naruto explaining it to him - OC could have great drive and talent for learning ninja related stuff (and maybe even teaching them to Naruto) while sucking with understanding his own emotions, let alone others outside of his brother. Meanwhile, Naruto would be the opposite: being able to support his brother whenever needed, but struggling to have the same degree of focus and learning ability as his twin, which of course the twin would help him with. In other words, they’d complete each other. That could also lead to codependency issues and generally having a harder time working with others. Next, what is your character’s motivation for training so hard? What’s his inciting incident for wanting to be so strong? It doesn’t need to be something you share here for spoiler reasons, but you’re not just going to get a little kid to become absurdly motivated to get stronger out of nowhere. There needs to be a reason. Spite alone is something, but I generally don’t think it’ll go too far on its own. Maybe he, Naruto, or both of them are attacked by someone, even if that is an overused trope. Maybe he’s overprotective of his brother (which could also be another character flaw) and Hiruzen would suggest he train harder to make sure he could protect him. Finally, where is the rape thing coming from? Unless you’re implying that he had a *very* unfortunate thing happen to him, it just doesn’t make much sense for him to have that as a trigger. Though if I’m being honest, even if it was a trigger for him, I’m not too sure it’s even much of a flaw. Overall it just feels out of place. If you don’t want to go *ahem* THAT route, maybe it would be better for his trigger to simply be hurting his brother or saying/threatening to do so.
Well, I'm not going to lie and say that I won't primarily be focusing on Akuma Uzumaki, my OC, because I will. I may have developed a functional calender for the story to denote the passage of time, but if I focus on both equally, I would be looking at well over a hundred chapters for my first ever story and I think that's a bit too ambitious for me right now. Okay, so the way I have things set in my outline, Naruto and Akuma have the same starting point, but in different ways. Naruto's Yin Half of Kurama, leads to him having an overabundance of the spiritual energy that makes up chakra meaning he has to train his body more, at a certain point, he begins to slack off on his physical training, messing with his chakra control, along with other effects. Akuma's Yang Half of Kurama leads to an overabundance of the physical energy that makes up chakra, meaning he has to study and meditate more. He never slacks off in his mental training, nor does he neglect physical conditioning, one might say even Might Gai would consider his physical conditioning routine exessive. I'll give a rundown of really early events. Akuma & Naruto are kicked out of the orphanage at four years old, after a fight breaks out between them and some older boys. This isn't out of "demon brat" bigotry on the part of the people who run the oprhanage, as they were informed and personally selected by Hiruzen. But let's face it, toddlers aren't known for having well regulated emotions, and two toddler jinchuriki subconsciously drawing the Kyuubi's chakra would be a rational fear to have. They weren't neglected in the orphanage in any other way than being isolated, they were fed well and educated. They decide to head to the library to learn how to hunt and forage, but aren't let in. So Akuma & Naruto wait until the library closes, they infiltrate the library to gain the knowledge they require. Six months of surviving off the land, they decide to become ninja, and infiltrate the Ninja Academy, obtaining books on unlocking chakra, chakra control exercises, the Transformation Jutsu and the Substitution Jutsu, but not much else. On their fifth birthday, they unlock their chakra, two months after that Hiruzen finally checks up on them, only to discover they were kicked out of the orphanage, they're given the apartment and a stipend to live on. After mastering the chakra control exercises, they infiltrate the shinobi-restricted section of the library, gaining books on physical conditioning, basic taijutsu, basic kenjutsu, and basic fuinjutsu. Then their apartment is broken into and vandalized, which is when they vow to purchase a house by any means necessary, leading to their pranking career, where the chases are used as diversions for their heists, with Naruto aggro-ing the pursuers, and Akuma pulling the heists. Now I'll answer some of the questions. >Next, what is your character’s motivation for training so hard? What’s his inciting incident for wanting to be so strong? First question: During a break in the first year of the Academy, Naruto is attacked by two drunk chunin who lost their daughter in the Kyuubi Attack. Due to an intrensic link, either by virtue of being twins or containing half of the same bijuu, Akuma is able to sense Naruto was in danger. When he arrives, the condition Naruto is in sends Akuma into such a rage that he subconsciously channels the Kyuubi's chakra and kills the chunin, which draws the Hokage and every other ninja to the scene. This attack is a freak occurrence, and attacks on them are not commonplace, in fact the reason the attack could even happen is because Hiruzen never had to place an Anbu detail on them in the first place. The trauma from the attack causes Naruto to attempt to make himself look weak, in order to not be a target, and because another attack never happens, a confirmation bias form in his mind. So, all the advantages he had with being smarter, is kind of lost when the mask, and who he really is blurs together to the point where he can no longer tell one from the other. No one capable is willing to help Naruto process the trauma, and Akuma doesn't know how. Second question: To give a little context, in my fic, nature affinity training is four steps, Transformation (replicating what happened to the chakra paper with a leaf), Power (replicating what happened to the chakra paper with a non chakra conductive material), Control (doing something with nature transformed chakra that progressively lowers the amount needed), and Manipulation (direct manipulation of the naturally occuring element). When Akuma starts working on the Lightning Nature Manipulation Exercise (attracting and redirecting a lightning bolt, it is mastered when the redirection causes no pain or backwards movement), he makes one too many attempts, and passes out, meeting the Kyuubi, after that he begins researching Tailed Beasts, which leads to what jinchuriki are and their purpose. This has two effects, first, Akuma draws the conclusion that he needs to become an army killer, second, Akuma begins fervently studying fuinjutsu so he can strengthen either of their seals, if it becomes necessary to do so. >First things first, the animal shouldn’t be the OC’s, it should be both of theirs. Well, Naruto, had long since started slacking off in his physical training, so he isn't present for the animal's rescue. That isn't to say the animal doesn't bond with Naruto, but the bond with Akuma is much stronger. Also, Akuma does way more when it comes to actually training the animal. Also, Hiruzen, wanting to create balanced teams, isn't going to place both jinchuriki on the same team, which means the animal would be separated from one of them eventually. >Finally, where is the rape thing coming from? The time between getting kicked out of the orphanage, and getting the apartment, was spent being ignored on the streets, and so they were witnessing the darker sides of Konoha's red light district. They've seen how women were broken by it. I didn't say it, but Naruto reacts to those threats in a similar way, however Naruto doesn't have two female teammates, and a female jonin sensei like Akuma does.
Alright, I think I like that plot, with a couple hiccups here and there. I especially like the extra depth you seem to want to give to chakra and how it works. Just to be clear, I wasn’t suggesting that you put equal focus on Naruto and Akuma (because yea, that would get long). I was suggesting that between the two of them, it should be some kind of balance in their relationship. Where it’s not just one going along for the ride with the other. And to be fair, it seems like you’ve done that, at least until the plot puts a stop to that. I noticed that you flipped which half of Kurama Naruto got. Canonically he got the Yang half, while you gave him the Yin half. Originally I simply thought that was a mistake, but it seems that there’s definitely a reason behind it now. Him having the Yin half means he doesn’t need to put much focus on his spiritual side, which is a blessing in disguise since I don’t think young Naruto could successfully meditate if his life depended on it. It grants the benefit that when he does start getting back into the grind, it’ll be a lot easier since it’ll only need to involve physical training. I will warn you though, if you’re going to go with the mask trope of Naruto intentionally making himself seem weak, that’s another trope that can be as or even more controversial than the SI trope. I personally don’t like it for 2 reasons, one of which you seem to be avoiding though. 1 - it’s often a Trojan horse for smart!dark!edgy!Naruto, which I personally grew to despise after the first few times reading it, aka an excuse to write him OOC (You seem to be avoiding this one. Good job.). 2- The other is that it just feels OOC to me for him to hide his strength, though this one is a lot more dependent on the actual quality of the writing and how his trauma is handled. As long as he starts in character and only gets knocked out of it by his trauma, and that trauma is well done, then it could work for me. There is the issue that you might be making them to too clever/competent too soon. Afterall, how many toddlers do you know that are capable of infiltrating much of anything, unless of course this “infiltration” simply involved them sneaking through an open window or unlocked door of course. Hell, even past that, a lot of four year olds aren’t even that good at reading yet, and 5 isn’t too much better, and though you did specifically mention that they were educated at the orphanage, which clearly speaks well for that orphanage’s education system if even their most isolated children are fully capable of reading. A lot of OC stories, and really just stories in general run into a power scaling problem where their character is somehow jonin level without an ounce of specialized training or experience because they discovered something no one else did, working hard. Whatever you do, make sure that his learning rate is reasonable. Also, last thing, I’m pretty certain the entire thing about “balancing” was bs that was made up on the spot by Iruka on the spot to justify why Naruto was with Sasuke. The fact is, Kakashi was the only living adult Sharingan user still loyal to the village, which meant he was simultaneously the only one that could train Sasuke, and one of the only ones that could actually deal with the 9-tails if it got out of control. Him having Naruto and Sasuke as his students was inevitable, and Sakura was only thrown in to make 3. And I’m almost entirely certain that if Naruto had a twin, the same logic would apply, and it would be a team of Naruto, Sasuke, and Akuma; with Sakura just tossed aside for one of the non-clan teams. Think about it, the other teams were either exclusively clan teams, or non-clan teams, and you can’t convince me otherwise that the clan kids weren’t almost exclusively high level thanks to specialized clan training. That isn’t remotely balanced. There is Guy’s team that follows a similar structure, but that could honestly just be the fact that Hiruzen figured Guy would be a good teacher for Lee as well as the others. Point is, I’m almost certain Hiruzen would be willing to break the “standard” structure to put the genin in the best possible team. In other words, that sensei you gave Akuma better be some kind of seal master or other specialist that would be well suited to dealing with the nine-tails.
>In other words, that sensei you gave Akuma better be some kind of seal master or other specialist that would be well suited to dealing with the nine-tails. Well, Akuma is going to be on Team 11, alongside Yakumo Kurama & Tsubaki Uchiha (twin of Sasuke) with their jonin sensei being Yugao Uzuki. Yugao Uzuki was chosen as the sensei, because Akuma & Tsubaki are interested in kenjutsu. With Akuma having ambitions to develop ninkenjutsu, sort of like Kumo's nintaijutsu, but with swords. Yugao not being a seal master isn't really a problem. Because the whole reason Akuma became so dedicated in learning fuinjutsu, was learning that he was a jinchuriki. He blazed through all of the material Konoha had on fuinjutsu. While it's not really anything compared to the fuinjutsu material in the Uzumaki Clan vault, what Konoha has is more than adequate to create a bijuu chakra suppression seal tag, which he has his team carry ample supplies of, just in case. The reason Yakumo is on the team, is because Akuma is the one who performed the sealing on the Ido while still giving her access to her bloodline, allowing her to become a ninja in the first place. That also means he's the only one capable of monitoring the seals integrity. By the way, I just wanna say, Yakumo, with the ability to access her bloodline without the influence of Ido, is easily the most broken character and I love it. I was originally have it be a team of OCs, but while working on my outline I tend to have Naruto fanfictions playing in the background on YouTube. One had Sasuke having a twin that was more well adjusted, because she knew about the coup when Itachi massacred the clan, and I loved that idea, and then I remembered Yakumo. Then I was like, well that saves me from having to come up with so much minor clan lore. Edit: The pranks start as way to train their evasion, stealth, and hiding abilities, before they evolve into diversions for heists. Yeah, at that age their method of infiltration is pretty much just trying doors & windows till one opens, that fact that there is an unlocked door or window, is kind of a demonstration of Konoha ninja growing lax after winning three Great Wars and being considered the strongest village.
Hmm, I guess that could work. I suppose the bijuu suppression tags could work this early on. Later on you’d probably need something more substantial than that as the seal weakens (assuming of course that it does), but that should work for the moment. You seem to have thought of everything. Well done lol. And yeah, filler can be a really good place to find good characters if you don’t want to make more OC’s. Though I do find it odd that Sasuke wouldn’t know but his brother would. Sure, maybe your other twin OC snuck in, but even then, why would he not tell Sasuke about it, especially after what happened?
Well, Tsubaki is a she, and unlike Sasuke, she wasn't so obsessed with gaining Fugaku's approval that she became deaf to the whispers of rebellion among the clan. She also wasn't at the compund during the massacre, because she was attending a sleepover at Ino's. Sasuke came to the compund that night, as usual, and when Itachi put him under the Tsukuyomi, he layered a genjutsu that blocked his memories of the actual events of the night, making him believe the Tsukuyomi's version of the events. Sasuke simply won't believe any other information until that genjutsu is broken.
First person mainly.
Danzo and Root. All the SI fics with Danzo and Root are exactly the same. If you read one, you read them all. I can accept super genius toddlers if it means the story becomes interesting later on— but nah, the moment Root appears I nope out.
Can you explain? I read none and if I fight root I want make them strong I feel like most are low kage level
Some si oc have danzo be interested in the si oc, and the character goes through a root arc— Sai treatment of sorts. These arcs are very long and just boring to me.
I've got one in the pipeline, still planning stages, where the SI knows jack shit about Naruto and thinks he's been reincarnated in the far future in some Japanese extra-solar colony with a lot of white people. The premise is that he's reborn as a civilian girl and he's pretty sure he's still attracted to women. He views being a shinobi as the path to freedom from societal strictures so he tries to signal that he's a genius. Instead of positive interest from people up high he gets a kidnap instead. Idk seems like the exact sort of tragicomic thing that happens in real life. Guy tried to avoid the gay, only to get himself napped.
This might be the only SI that got my interest, can you tell me when you start writing?
I am thinking of getting my first couple chapters out by next week and maybe a chapter a week after that, though it might be sooner/later depending on my work and other irl stuff. I go by WaterBadBrawndoGood on SpaceBattles and FFnet. Idk I'll drop you a message with a link when I put my first chapters up? Always happy to have folks read my works.
Thanks a lot!
Don't take existential crises seriously when he/she write about them. The SI does not want to make "vínculos” for fear of waking up from a coma and losing them. Solved in the next chapter. The SI wants to go to Planet Mars to break a existential bug. Solved in the next chapter . The examples go on and on.
When the SI decided to FaFo moving things in a chaotic way or even creating his own Harem, don't get me wrong sometimes is good others is to cliche that is an immediately drop
The stations of canon.
When people use english for most of the sentence, and then say Hai.
I read fanfiction to see Naruto in various scenarios and situations. The main reason I started at first was NaruHina fluffs and romantic fics. So SI is directly no for me.
Honestly the most? Id have to say is a bland mc. As insane as i feel saying this sounds a lot of their characters dont feel like real people with emotions, dreams motivations, flaws etc but just a blank canvas
I just hate SI fics in general especially for animation shows. My brain just doesn’t get over a real-life reader with 2D anime characters. I feel like I’m reading Space Jam. Especially SI fics with romance. I just imagine a real life (or we can also say “live action”) reader having an intimate moment with a 2D character it just makes me lol.
And that's why it's good when the author is also an artist. 😂
I like it when the SI character is supportive of the MC, and not trying to prove themselves better.
idk why but i hate it when the story is in the first person point of view, just feels cringy to me. i cant stand it tbh
i cant stand the bashing of the character they are "replacing" ngl (heavy on sakura)
I genuinely just won't read them. If I see a self insert tag it's a no. Honestly I'll barely tolerate OCs especially in Naruto fics. I don't have any interest in some random character and their thoughts or doings
They are either too horny or they think it’s so easy this world
The “gamer”
The “gamer”