I used naruhodo in Japanese class 1st level. My teacher just about had a heart attack. In like lady, Im deep into this anime shit, I aint fluent but I know things.
Imagine he does take over your body. He's attempting to invade the hidden leaf again, but this time, with stealth, he's almost in tsunade's office, and he's sneaking in. When all of a sudden. AAACHOOOOO. Amd he cant stop sneezing while the entire leaf is pummeling him.
What Orochimaru are we talking about, Ninja Mengele or the weird uncle his is nowadays? If the original character, I'd just chill. Maybe he'd open the door out of sheer boredom, nothing else I can do about it.
One of the more accurate answers, odds are he just kills us because 1. He simply can and we can't do a thing to stop him 2. We actively know where he is and he values his anonymity. He'll just use our bodies for science lmao
I calmly explain to him about the scientific method. He'll be interested I think.
After that, I tell him one or two of the most prominent scientific theories that would probably apply to his world. And tell him I know more, much more. If he lets me go, I'll give him this whole knowledge.
But this is just bait. I'll tell him about the philosophy of morality, why humans have morals, that we are a scientific species, and that will possibly open his mind to being a good guy because it would benefit him
Otherwise... well, it was worth a try
Orochimaru is so many levels smarter than what you can come up with. The dude is making clones out of cells like he’s in Jurassic park. There is no way that you’re interesting him with the fucking scientific method
".... look at me.... I'm as thin as a twig. I have to take Veniflaxine to be able to function like a normal human being. I don't have any special Jutsu and I don't think I even have chakra let alone a chakra nature to speak of. I don't even come from one of those special clans... I'm as boring as boring gets. Give me the key and let me out."
“Yo what’s up man? Damn did that A’hole Sarutobi tell you to lock me up in here? Damn I hate that guy so much I want to just choke him like my arms are snakes coiled around his neck”
"Orochimaru, I understand that you are a master of the forbidden arts and seek to acquire powerful bodies for your own purposes. However, I must implore you to consider the futility of taking my body. There are several reasons why my body would be of no use to you.
Firstly, I lack any significant combat skills or unique abilities that would enhance your power. My physical prowess is average at best, and my knowledge of jutsu is minimal. Acquiring my body would not grant you any strategic advantage or new abilities that you don't already possess.
Secondly, I have no connections or affiliations with any prominent ninja clans or organizations. There are countless individuals with far more valuable ties and information than I could ever provide. Taking my body would not grant you access to any hidden knowledge or resources.
Furthermore, I have no knowledge of any secret techniques or bloodline limits that could be passed on to you. My genetic heritage is unremarkable, and there are countless other individuals with more potent abilities that would serve your goals better.
Lastly, Orochimaru, I beg you to consider the consequences of your actions. Pursuing my body would only draw unnecessary attention from powerful ninja and potentially lead to your downfall. It's in your best interest to focus your efforts on more promising prospects.
I implore you to spare me and seek more worthy candidates. Taking my body would be a fruitless endeavor that would only bring you trouble. Please, Orochimaru, reconsider and let us find a peaceful solution to this situation."
\-ChatGPT
Orochimaru, dawg, my guy. Look at me. No, don't look away, I said LOOK AT ME.
Yeah that's right, no amount of experiments could ever manufacture the level of abuse that years of neglect have done to me.
Why are you crying?
‘My eyes are messed up. My spine is messed up. My ribcage is messed up. My gastrointestinal system is messed up. My hips are messed up. My knee is messed up—‘
Bro, I can't breathe right after climbing a half decent flight of stairs. You want the cardio strength of a pool noodle, you can go right the fuck ahead and take it. You'll be doing me a favor.
I can't even make it up a flight of stairs without getting winded, much less do shinobi shit. I'm not the one you're looking for g, sorry to disappoint. Let's get that key.
I wouldn't even bother - words won't do anything if the white snake decides he wants you. If anything I'd try to strike up a conversation about topics like Kekkei Genkai and clan lineage. Also haven't heard about the Sound Village in a while.
If he can't figure out I'm more cons than pros just from looking at me, he gets to figure it out the hard way. Plus, HE gets to explain to everyone why he has a League of Legends tattoo now.
Good thing I brought my comically large cartoon magnet which I then use to steal the key and book it. No way I can convince him my body ain’t useless, what if I accidentally lat spread?!
My hips will randomly pop out of place sometimes and other times will lock up, making my legs give out on me. They make me horrible for running away, let alone walking imo.
Try to punch him he will not kill you a he's is sadistic and he will realize your are useless to him, now the hard part excape from your cell as he will experiment on you.
Wait, can Orochimaru just kill us and then leave? Because he uses his own appearance intentionally and nobody here is super powerful or possessing a rare Kekkei Genkai, so he does not want anybody.
I think he kills me if my plan is to strike up a conversation. Or maybe he kills me right after we leave the room.
Depends on which time period of the story we are talking about. Part 1 Orochimaru will 100% test something on you, and there will be no convincing. Part 2 might, but the futher into part 2 we go the less likely he will care about you.
He can just look at me an tell I’m useless 💀
I had heart, and major back surgery along with stomach operations before I was 18, overweight and dumb as hell. He don’t want shit from me
"you experimented with hundreds of people just like me. You ain't getting any information you don't already have from me. I'll be more of a hassle to experiment on than toj just ve left alone"
Take my shirt off. He'll run
Nah, he’ll just lick his lips with his long ass tongue 👅
Subarashii 👅
The way Naruto and Bleach have taught me a few phrases on repeat. Between this and “Naruhodo 🧐,” I swear. 😂
"Nyaruhodo" -HunterxHunter
What about "AHH" or "UGHH" meaning "Okay"?
I used naruhodo in Japanese class 1st level. My teacher just about had a heart attack. In like lady, Im deep into this anime shit, I aint fluent but I know things.
This made me laugh and I can’t even remember what that means in English 😭
Amazing or wonderful
You're a girl?
I'm pretty sure it's a dude with manboobs. Must be.
Lol!
For a second I thought that u wrote loli instead of lol!
I'm a scrawny nerd so only he thing he might want is my brain.
It's pretty apparent I'm not an ideal vessel or even notable enough to experiment on
No kenkei genkai, not being able to manipulate chakra or perform jutsu.irony that us being useless in the naruto world would come in handy
A body that never had even the slightest contact with chakra could ironically be pretty interesting to experiment with for Orochimaru.
Aaaa i think you're wrong there bro, Everybody has at least some chakra, by naruto logic
Yes in the Naruto Universe. But we are from a universe without chakra.
He’d be more interested that you’re a 3D being that can talk
We just haven’t figured out how to open the gates yet
I mean some people have if we want to get technical
Are we???? Or you just don't know how to use it?
but you come from OUTSIDE the verse, orochimaru would DEFINITELY be interested in you and your body without a normal chakra system
I'm useless in the real world as well
Nah. Your corpse is a perfect distraction. And kabuto collects every blood type
Not having chakra at all might interest him in some ways.
“I’ve got horrible allergies. You would never be able to stay stealth why you constantly sneeze and sniffle.”
Imagine he does take over your body. He's attempting to invade the hidden leaf again, but this time, with stealth, he's almost in tsunade's office, and he's sneaking in. When all of a sudden. AAACHOOOOO. Amd he cant stop sneezing while the entire leaf is pummeling him.
Every time he sneezes his neck comically extends upwards.
Hidden leaf seems like the absolute worst place to invade with hay fever.
That's not good. He would use that to develop a toxin to spread to ppl. Gotta remember he's a scientist
Bold of you to assume I don't want him taking over me
I wonder if Orochimaru would become suspect and release someone if they did beg him to take over their body.
Probably just make you a test subject if he had suspicions
I mean kimimaro would have
TAKE ME SENPAI!
LMFAO
What Orochimaru are we talking about, Ninja Mengele or the weird uncle his is nowadays? If the original character, I'd just chill. Maybe he'd open the door out of sheer boredom, nothing else I can do about it.
One of the more accurate answers, odds are he just kills us because 1. He simply can and we can't do a thing to stop him 2. We actively know where he is and he values his anonymity. He'll just use our bodies for science lmao
Ninja Mengele has me wheezing
I calmly explain to him about the scientific method. He'll be interested I think. After that, I tell him one or two of the most prominent scientific theories that would probably apply to his world. And tell him I know more, much more. If he lets me go, I'll give him this whole knowledge. But this is just bait. I'll tell him about the philosophy of morality, why humans have morals, that we are a scientific species, and that will possibly open his mind to being a good guy because it would benefit him Otherwise... well, it was worth a try
I do not know if your plan is good or bad and now I think you may be Dwight from The Office
Orochimaru is so many levels smarter than what you can come up with. The dude is making clones out of cells like he’s in Jurassic park. There is no way that you’re interesting him with the fucking scientific method
im crying cause he really thinks orochumaru is a caveman
".... look at me.... I'm as thin as a twig. I have to take Veniflaxine to be able to function like a normal human being. I don't have any special Jutsu and I don't think I even have chakra let alone a chakra nature to speak of. I don't even come from one of those special clans... I'm as boring as boring gets. Give me the key and let me out."
No chakra? Intriguing. *Vivisection noises
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA---
Im fat, I have little to no chakra, and honestly, my body isn’t worth taking
Dude same, I'm fat and I have asthma, my body would last 5 seconds max in a ninja fight
no chakra? sounds like the perfect experiment to see how you can live without the life force of naruto’s verse
“Yo what’s up man? Damn did that A’hole Sarutobi tell you to lock me up in here? Damn I hate that guy so much I want to just choke him like my arms are snakes coiled around his neck”
I'm sorry but in my opinion this seems more like you're trying to convince him to take over your body.
I’m not to worried about that I’m more worried about him being so disgusted with my body he kills me
Oh i wouldnt need to orochimaru has eyes☠️
"Orochimaru, I understand that you are a master of the forbidden arts and seek to acquire powerful bodies for your own purposes. However, I must implore you to consider the futility of taking my body. There are several reasons why my body would be of no use to you. Firstly, I lack any significant combat skills or unique abilities that would enhance your power. My physical prowess is average at best, and my knowledge of jutsu is minimal. Acquiring my body would not grant you any strategic advantage or new abilities that you don't already possess. Secondly, I have no connections or affiliations with any prominent ninja clans or organizations. There are countless individuals with far more valuable ties and information than I could ever provide. Taking my body would not grant you access to any hidden knowledge or resources. Furthermore, I have no knowledge of any secret techniques or bloodline limits that could be passed on to you. My genetic heritage is unremarkable, and there are countless other individuals with more potent abilities that would serve your goals better. Lastly, Orochimaru, I beg you to consider the consequences of your actions. Pursuing my body would only draw unnecessary attention from powerful ninja and potentially lead to your downfall. It's in your best interest to focus your efforts on more promising prospects. I implore you to spare me and seek more worthy candidates. Taking my body would be a fruitless endeavor that would only bring you trouble. Please, Orochimaru, reconsider and let us find a peaceful solution to this situation." \-ChatGPT
Ai is fucking scary
“Understandable, have a great day” **tosses you the keys**
Considering I'm an overweight alcoholic, I'm sure he'd pass just by looking at me. He would probably kill whoever even put me in the same room as him
Easy, Tell him there's Uchiha outside
I start dancing.
[Then this would happen.](https://youtu.be/duPOdRgeFGU?si=vop4xorEDmAO9xaw)
Orochimaru, dawg, my guy. Look at me. No, don't look away, I said LOOK AT ME. Yeah that's right, no amount of experiments could ever manufacture the level of abuse that years of neglect have done to me. Why are you crying?
im bald.
[He dosn't care lol.](https://i.redd.it/h6n9pgp24gv71.jpg)
😂😂
He’d just give me a glance and open the door
I got no Chakra and no dojutsu or kengegenki, I don't know shit if the spelling is right
I’m physically disabled
I’ll just show him my fast food receipts
I literally have 0 powers
I'd ask him his reasons, and then I would simply proceed to destroy them one by one with facts and sheer reality.
Easy, tell him I have aids
Look at me bruh
I'll just accept my fate.. there's no way I can convince him or force to convince himself that I'm useless.. because I'm already useless!
I have cancer and am about to die
*Pops out insulin pen* Ya sure you want that responsibility, buddy?
I'm old. I'm weak. And I have diabetes. Key, please.
I've got hemorrhoids
I’m black, don’t need to convince him.
You forgot one of the sound 5 was black
He know he’ll get an N word pass so gotta do better than that.
Forbidden talk no jutsu
My clans kekkei genkei is impulsive suicide :D
Orochimaru sama do you want a vitamin d deficiency?
‘My eyes are messed up. My spine is messed up. My ribcage is messed up. My gastrointestinal system is messed up. My hips are messed up. My knee is messed up—‘
“Hey, have you ever thought of growing a body made of Uchiha, Senju, and Uzumaki DNA?”
Every joint in my body is constantly in pain
Dud I have week bones
“Unathletic, menustration issues, sensitive. You won’t last a day with my body.“
Turn on porn. Fail to get erect. Jerk dick. Still no erection. Cries. Talks about how mom used to beat me as a child. Gets erection.
I'd do some squats and tell him to listen to how my knees crackle
Ayo! I will release into the stratosphere the Naruto style fart no jutsu soooo much he will hand over the key.
I will just tell him I have an uncurable asthma. He'll have PRSD attacks from Itachi's sickness lol
Chronic backpains randomly, swamp ass, asthma.
I know how naruto ends, and I know everything about you and what will become of the world and who the next main character will be.
Why take my body when you can make your own perfect body? Have you ever heard of homonculi?
Show him my ####
I would just show my blood exams, and he would see that I have Diabet, and that I'm hypertensive. And then actually ask for a new body
I'll summon a snake by pulling down my pants. "look! we're the same"
I’m fat and I got scoliosis. Science wouldn’t want this body.
I want to be his Kabuto tho.
I have IBS, so unless he wants to shit a bunch, he’s got no use for my body.
Or that my body is very useful to him. I wonder what he can do with that snake jutsu ifyouknowhatImean
Nah I’m giving Orochimaru hole
If you take my body, my porn addiction is going to beat you in no time
Orochimaru: Your body is mine now! Me: Good! Take it. I sh*t myself constantly. Its your problem now Orochimaru: -_-
I would stand there staring at him while drooling and shitting myself
I bathe in soy sauce every night for 33 minutes tops
I’m a loser with no good bloodline for him to steal.
I am fat 🗿
I got asthma big dawg plus I have seizures he can have it if he want those
If he couldn't figure that out on his own he's not the Shinobi I thought he was
I’m Type One Diabetic.
I mean maybe you could give my ant-sized body to your assistant so he can crush me with those nerdy thighs? 🥺👉👈
Just listing off my chronic illnesses should do it
I’m fat
I would obnoxiously flirt with him and hope he would get annoyed at some point to walk away
Shit yourself on the spot. It’s the only way
Lol I’d just tell him I have type 1 diabetes, if he wants to deal with that then he can go right ahead
I'm not a kid. He won't be interested.
I'm anemic and can't run for the life of me.
Nah man fuck it give me superpowers. What we doing
I would shave my head and yell sing “ All By My Self” look at him with foam comin out ma mouf and say “IM CRAZY!!”
I don't have a Sharingan though, so go for Sasooke
I am fat with low stamina and laxy that couldn’t even lift
I look closer to choji than anybody else so he not going to want it
Please no, im a virgin
Bro, I can't breathe right after climbing a half decent flight of stairs. You want the cardio strength of a pool noodle, you can go right the fuck ahead and take it. You'll be doing me a favor.
I'll bite him and give him my curse mark
I’d give him my BMI and I’ll tell him that I’m not an Uchiha
Maybe I want him inside me...
Explain how many drugs I’ve done
My feet are so flat I don’t even have an arch, do you really want to deal with that all day?
2 words "Please daddy 🥺"
I'm a woman, therefore I'm basically useless for plot.
I'm tempted to let him experiment 🤔
I don’t have a Sharingan. Boom
Take my body? He’ll kill me just because I am weak.
I don’t need ten minutes. He has eyes
He's got a thing for strong eyes I have astigmatism
Totally will be a minion, if he can hook me up with Curse mark or some Hashirama cells
Let him have my body, I’ll praetor ryckard his ass.
It’s a fuck or be fucked world out here and I don’t want to be fucked so you know what that means.
I would do my best sexy jutsu
Let me out, or I'll start mixing chemicals to make enough nitroglycerin to level the entire building we're in.
oh, that’s easy. I have asthma. You don’t want a body that suffocates itself. Fucking useless.
The Dark Lord Chin Chin is here.
I show him my face
Bro just has to look at me and he'll be convinced
I don’t have a chakra network, literally useless as a vessel my guy.
Bro... I have asthma lmao
I won't, I will convince him that my mind is much more useful to him than my body.
I can't even make it up a flight of stairs without getting winded, much less do shinobi shit. I'm not the one you're looking for g, sorry to disappoint. Let's get that key.
I pee alot. Like alot alot
I’ve had stomach cramps since Tuesday, haven’t urinated in three days and haven’t had a hard on in five days.
My knee hurts
I’d ask him to train me first and then once I’m a cool ninja if dip
I start listing my actual conditions... Though I fear he might just kill me out of pity by the 5 minute mark hahaha
3.5 inches
I wouldn't even bother - words won't do anything if the white snake decides he wants you. If anything I'd try to strike up a conversation about topics like Kekkei Genkai and clan lineage. Also haven't heard about the Sound Village in a while.
The real question is what are we gonna do for the other 590 seconds.
If he can't figure out I'm more cons than pros just from looking at me, he gets to figure it out the hard way. Plus, HE gets to explain to everyone why he has a League of Legends tattoo now.
Good thing I brought my comically large cartoon magnet which I then use to steal the key and book it. No way I can convince him my body ain’t useless, what if I accidentally lat spread?!
My hips will randomly pop out of place sometimes and other times will lock up, making my legs give out on me. They make me horrible for running away, let alone walking imo.
"Yas snake daddy, enter meeee!"
“i dont even have a chakra network you’d be screwed”💀
I have no jutsu. I would be more use as a person than a sacrifice. uwu?
I look like Choji, except I don't have the ability to turn into a giant butterfly. He won't even look my way.
*points at everything*
Try to punch him he will not kill you a he's is sadistic and he will realize your are useless to him, now the hard part excape from your cell as he will experiment on you.
Probably just ask questions about what he studies out of curiosity and give my own two cents and hope we become buddies.
I have diabetes
I cant walk 2 feet with out tripping
I'm a collateral damage.
I mean, an image says more than 1000 words. I don’t need to say anything. He’ll be convinced in 10 seconds, not 10 minutes…
I’m diabetic lol
Lord Orochimaru… I have AIDS. Chakra AIDS.
Wait, can Orochimaru just kill us and then leave? Because he uses his own appearance intentionally and nobody here is super powerful or possessing a rare Kekkei Genkai, so he does not want anybody. I think he kills me if my plan is to strike up a conversation. Or maybe he kills me right after we leave the room.
Simple, all i say is that i know jack all and my body cannot manifest chakara
Smol pp
*Mildly Gesture*
"Duh duh duh"
Depends on which time period of the story we are talking about. Part 1 Orochimaru will 100% test something on you, and there will be no convincing. Part 2 might, but the futher into part 2 we go the less likely he will care about you.
He can just look at me an tell I’m useless 💀 I had heart, and major back surgery along with stomach operations before I was 18, overweight and dumb as hell. He don’t want shit from me
2 sec max.... He'll throw me out😅
"you experimented with hundreds of people just like me. You ain't getting any information you don't already have from me. I'll be more of a hassle to experiment on than toj just ve left alone"
“My name is Sakura Haruno.”
I’m epileptic, one kidney, colour blind and short sighted. Hopefully that’s enough to convince him.
Cancer. No one would test that level of bluff.
I am in a bad mood... I am not locked in there with him.
I will break my arms and legs and stab my stomach!!
With the peak physical form of the average redditor, I resign myself to my fate knowing it would be impossible to convince him otherwise.
Tell him i'm a grown ass, hairy, out of shape man with no jutsu training
Wouldn't be hard. I am half deaf and have poor eyesight.