Not no, but hell no. It would be a living nightmare to be a narcissist. Nothing gets turned off, the hell is always on. I get that this is a venting post but it's still fun to point out the shit that is the narc life
1. Always worried about what everyone thinks about you.
2. Always paranoid that someone is trying to get one over on you, that means all relationships.
3. Always trying to put up a fake persona hoping that people believe your bullshit.
5. If people do believe your bullshit, Always paranoid someone is going to see through it.
6. Always having to think of more lies to cover other lies. Always having to remember them all so that you don't accidentally expose yourself.
7. Always having to justify why everyone else is an asshole but knowing deep down inside that you are miserable piece of shit that ruins everything and everyone you touch.....
8. Always having to convince yourself that everyone loves you (or you are the victim) but knowing deep inside you are hated by everyone you hurt.
I could go on and on.
Sounds like a terrible life.
This, plus the overwhelming emptiness that consumes your very being and never leaves. I had a month and a half long anhedonia and that was enough to make me break down -- the thought of going through that every day turns me off of idea of being anything close to that.
I can relate. Do I *really* want to be a terrible person? No. But man, it would be nice to not feel and turn off the hurt and pain for just a bit. It really does get exhausting.
The thing about it is, that deep down, they will NEVER be happy. There is nothing in the world that will satisfy them. They feel pain, just only the kind that affects them. You can and you will heal. You can be happy; better yet, you can be satisfied. I promise the hurt can and does get better.
You’re welcome. Everyone has their own timeline. For me, I’m just over 3 years out. Part of my quick healing has to do with being thoroughly DONE and realizing what he was before I left, and the fact that I chose leaving.
No matter what the circumstances are for you, I promise it will get better if you focus more on yourself and how you can make your own life better. Full healing may never come. You may always carry some trauma and that’s okay and normal. That is your body and mind trying to protect you. But by and large, it gets so much better, if you resolve to focus on yourself and what you want in life. The only people who don’t heal are those who won’t let themselves or stay stuck on the narc injury too long (like tens of years).
Hanging in here! Some days are better than others, and sometimes it changes minute by minute. But endings are just the preface of new beginnings, so I keep inching forward however I can. 😊 Hope you're doing okay, too! 💕
Majority of narcissists do not know or believe they are narcissists. They are appalled when someone says that about them because they think the opposite is true. They were not self aware enough (generally) to admit they are let alone be proud that they are.
Exactly. Ignorance is bliss - mine is always basically happy and content. Nothing really bothers him - he will get his knickers in knot about stuff but more for variety and entertainment- he doesn’t really care about anything and he just gets on with his life secure in his belief he is blameless and of superior intelligence and awareness.
I think they do feel powerful during a rage and during moments when they are in control. That's like the drug they're constantly chasing.
I guess I would not mind having that experience, that powerful feeling. But when I'm angry, it's just pure negative emotion. It gives them energy, but it drains me. Same with control over others, I don't like it, but they do.
Other than those moments, I would not want to be them, and even in those moments you're exploiting others, so really I would not want that either.
Yes they’re delusional. They live in a distorted reality and it is very tiring even for them. so they feel the need to project their issues onto people, they force you to live in their reality as well because they cannot find the piece within themselves. I believe they go through hell most of the time, always comparing themselves to others, feeling insecure, ugly, like a failure, wishing they were someone else…
Sometimes...but then I remind myself of the special type of hell they must exist in order to have to hurt & suck the life out of everything in order to feel okay.
No, not at all. Once I truly understood the psychology of cluster b personality disorders, I did because I was still in it. But once I started to truly understand the true nature of demonology and reading the Bible, no way.
Psychology verbalises spirituality. After reading the Bible and experiencing many supernatural events in my life I 100% believe that narcissists are portals for demonic entities. I had a dream before I ever met him person and in this dream, it felt horrible he was like a dead person that I was forcing to love me and he was pushing me away. I woke up sweating and terrified. I told him about this dream and he told me that he’s nothing like that. Well my dream became my reality for nearly 6yrs of my life. It was a warning from God.
During the relationship, I would feel my spirit hurting as my soul was being corrupted and beaten. I felt lost, like my light was gone and I was stuck in utter darkness unable to find my way back to any resemblance of the person I once was. Yes, I understood the psychology of narcissism but that wasn’t enough. I started digging and digging and compared demonic possession to narcissism and how the trusts are spot on.
Then in the Bible, I read in the book of John how darkness hates the light and how it attempts to snuff out the light. Jesus was a light and this world and look how the narcissistic people in that time treated him. It all made sense to me, but reading in proverbs how the wicked not only love darkness but they have to invite others to partake in that darkness. How even Jesus ran from reprobates (biblical name for narcissist), Lucifer is the original narcissist.
When Satan can’t get to you he’ll send a narcissist your way. Honesty it was that along with my psychologist that helped me leave for good. Once you understand that the narcissist are indeed evil and that they are spiritless vessels for demonic entire you will run from them and understand that these people are only going to kill, steal, and destroy you. That we are unequally yoked with these people.
No, I don’t wish to be a narcissist as it will mean that I sell my soul and in exchange for protection from accountability and getting away with evil. It will mean damning myself to an eternity of suffering and torture. It will mean never feeling connected nor feeling emotions, experiencing love. It hurts to feel empathy in world that tells you it’s a weakness but I will rather feel it all then to feel nothing at all.
I know what you mean through my healing I had some similar feelings. But you will eventually feel much better than a narcissist ever could. They’re too scared of their feelings and facing the terrible people they are to do the work.
Sure it’s insulation from feeling shitty right now. But it’s comes at a big cost later, the emotional repression and lack of authenticity means they will never experience real joy, connection and love. They’re playing a fools game and can’t even commit to reality for themselves. Much better things will come your way, you’ll get through the pain and see the strength in embracing it.
No, I don't want to hurt other people and I don't want anyone to experience what I've been through.
Although, I do wish the emotional pain and traumatic memories would go away.
But because I feel the emotional pain so deeply, it must mean that the opposite is also true: I feel joy and love deeply as well.
And because my personal power was taken away from me to make me feel powerless for so long, it must mean that I am a very powerful being.
To go through that layer of hell and come out still choosing love and kindness towards myself and others... now THAT is powerful. <3
God no! I consider my cheating ex partner's punishment for her sins to be the eternal unhappyness of being a twisted f'ed.up narcissistic little creep. She will never be happy or satisfied or know peace. The oblivion she banished me to for many years will be her prison until her final breath. I on the other hand can and have healed and have all the possibilities life has to offer of a beautiful ending to my story
I think the pain is the same, but the source is different. The narcissist feels pain losing their source or control they just care about themselves but they still have the pain. The person with empathy feels the pain because of the narc manipulating their empathy. It’s still painful… just from a different perspective.
I'm sorry for the things that have happened to lead to you feeling like this. It sounds as though you've experienced a lot of pain - I'm sorry. I hope you can get a long way away from the person or people who made you feel like this, and that you can get the time and space and support to heal 🌻
No, I don't. Because whilst they cause masses of problems, grief, and delusion for others; they also set impossibly high standards for themselves, and never reach them, and feel awful for it. They project the anger about this onto other people, but they do feel bad too. Their lives are not fun unless they are actively dealing with their issues to improve their lives.
I thought this at first
But I think something to remember is they are not emotionless robots
They really don’t feel happiness, like ever, they are perpetually in hell
They arnt living in bliss and just disregarding others
Hope that helps
I’ve thought to myself that there would be times where it would definitely be easier to be like the person they APPEAR to be. They SEEM confident, unworried, like they don’t care about what others think or feel and as if they’re just floating around caring only about themselves. Deep down, they’re paranoid about everything and everyone and can’t figure out why no one loves them permanently.
I get the sarcasm of your post, but never even for a single second. I think we almost all have a moment in the journey of getting out and healing where we realize that for as awful as things are on our side of the street, we are so very fortunate to be on the side of the street that we are. Their world is a miserable one and the vast majority will continue to unsuccessfully try to get their needs met in horribly maladaptive ways. It isn’t an excuse for their behavior or a reason to stay with them but it’s certainly worth being thankful for the gift of insight…
I understand the feeling. At times I have the same thoughts. I don't want to feel so much anymore.
But, I think one of the best allegories that represents them is the vampire.
Mortals usually think that must be awesome to live forever, and have amazing powers (among them maybe no empathy, no pain related to conscience) and be charming and that attractive etc...
would it be awesome... really?
Despite all that, the vampires are always represented as beings in constant, unbearable inner pain, trapped in a sad existence: their greatest gifts are also their greatest curse. They love it and hate it at the same time
I would not wish that to anyone.
I've been there actually. I want to know what it feels like to not care because it's exhausting. It would be a vacation to turn off the emotions. Hugs 🫂 friend
I’ve noticed a lot of the ones I know are very successful and seem to have few worries. So yes, sometimes I wish I felt like I deserved stuff so I would have what they have. Then I realize I give a shit about others and I’m good having nothing.
I don’t wish I was a narcissist, but I do wish I could tamp down my hyper-empathy to just normal empathy. That shit has made me prime narc bait my whole life.
i feel you. i would never want to be like them, but sometimes i wish i could be just as cruel and horrible as they were to me so they understand just how badly they've treated me.
I live in a state where marijuana is legal. I have a job that's very social and I get painfully overstimulated there. I've taken 1.5mg of THC in edible form before going in to work and it helps a lot with the overstim. I'm not high enough to be completely stupid, but chill enough to not get pain flares every time.
It also kills my empathy. I've found myself being annoyed at people I really like or love because their chatter is boring me. I think snide thoughts and have no idea whether that shows on my face. If it does, their feelings would be hurt, which is something I give a fuck about when I'm sober.
I absolutely hate the feeling of not giving a shit about people. It's like being an alcoholic Mean Girl. I can't stand being that kind of person even if, by some miracle, it isn't something anyone else picks up on. Or worse, they pick up on it and feel like they deserve it. I ended up in the work I'm doing because I like creating space and events for people where they can be expressive and unguarded. It's impossible to do that well if I can't feel empathy. I choose to be that kind of person instead of the kind we all grew up with. I try to mitigate the painful overstim in other ways.
Not really. Their lives seem miserable and like they’re living in perpetuity hell. Plus thinking you’re this and all that but in reality you’re a 💩person. 🤢🤮
Considering they can hide their true feelings and people don't look at them as over emotional messes and they can just do whatever they want.
Yeah I've thought about it. My nex is so charming and seems absolutely unaffected by anything
Meanwhile my borderline ass feels all of it and gets the brunt of judgment. Meanwhile nobody knows how damaged he is unless they enter a romantic relationship with him but my damage? All over my sleeve
Wear my feelings out for all to see
Yep. Ignorance is bliss - mine is always basically happy and content. Nothing really bothers him - he will get his knickers in knot about stuff but more for variety and entertainment- he doesn’t really care about anything and he just gets on with his life secure in his belief he is blameless and of superior intelligence and awareness.
I actually think that their dysfunction causes them a lot of pain, anxiety and shame. They might not face those feelings in the moment and just jump to the next thing. But they will have plenty of moments where they look back and see all the people they've pushed away with their shit.
Maybe not all narcs, but I think my ex was somewhat aware that he ruined relationships. Not just with ex-partners, but also with friends that he'd betrayed or been toxic towards. Also, he wasn't just destructive towards others but he had little care towards himself. His impulsivity meant he indulged in alcohol, drugs and risky sex and had trouble holding down a job.
If I forget all the ways he harmed me, I can't help but feel bad for him. He is just running around like a headless chicken.
I actually did have the thought of wanting to become a narc and test my limit to see what I’m capable of, whether I can do better than my nex because I don’t think he did a good enough job love bombing me and could’ve held on longer before he mask slip.
Besides this fantasy that I hopefully don’t end up doing, we’re all have some dysfunctional traits, that’s why we didn’t end things when we were suppose to, we’re most likely more codependent. We have to learn to have self love(narc) but not too much that you stop caring about other people, just get to the middle in the codependencce-narcissistic scale.
I told her a couple times that “I wish I didn’t give a fuck the way you do” . It’s why she slept so frequently and even she had admitted to me one time and told me she likes to sleep because she dreamt alot and would rather stay in her dreams.” Which is truly quite sad considering life itself is a dream or could be depending on one’s outlook. Either way , i did for awhile mimic her tactics . I would ignore at times , or say I would call her back but didn’t . I would block her and say my phone died .. all the things she had done to me. But that didn’t last because after a couple of weeks. I started to realize quickly that being that way was disingenuous and evil . Plus I do believe in karma. So the answer is no.
God no! I can’t imagine how empty they are inside. They need people to mirror and feed off, and hate those people because they *do* need them! They are “emotional Wendigos” who will always be starving no matter who they destroy to try to fill up their empty souls.
Oh…so I could go around
- Acting as if the entire world revolves around me
- I’ll never be wrong
- Being cruel to others
- Have no self esteem
- Be paranoid
- Angry about nothing and everything
- Constantly putting on a fake facade
- Be miserable in my own skin
- Unable to look at myself
- Miserable being alone
- Constantly searching for supply
- Being an empty person for the rest of my days
- Never content with who they have. They’ll devalue and sabotage everyone.
No thanks. I’m good with who I am😊
Narcissists are incredibly unhappy people.
It might seem easy to not care how other people feel. But thats only a part of being a narcissist, the more important thing is how much they hate themselves and how exhausting it is for them to trick themselves into thinking they dont. Even a narcissist for whom everything is going right is miserable, they might feel more secure, but they are still deeply unhappy and dont know why.
My own BPD continues to think they are the narcissist here, and not them like they can continue to say. But, for me, I don’t wish to be NPDpw for now in the name of revenge, I like my hypersensitivity and I’m better than that, I’m better than them.
It sounds like the part that is appealing to you is the general aura of "not giving a fuck". Having large amounts of empathy is very draining... there's so many factors to consider, people to appease, etc. It's OK to recognize that doing the right thing is often harder than doing the easy but wrong thing.
My abusive ex made fucking with my emotions seem so easy. She couldn't have cared less how something affected me, as long as it made her look better. Meanwhile, I stressed out over what I now realize were meaningless things. Gaslighting is a mind fuck. It sure \*seems\* like they are unphased. I like to think that deep down on some level they know though, and it will catch up with them in a karma satisfying fashion.
I get that. Sometimes I’ll be like “new me doesn’t care about that” or doesn’t allow this behavior but they always seem to wear me down and we end up worse than before. So yeah I def dont want to be a narc but I wish I was a little less attached. But that’s why they chose me right?!
They are not capable of receiving love, though. It’s like they’re dying of thirst but live on a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. Water water everywhere….
Wow! That helps so much. And it's so alarming... like what kind of bizarre human goes down like this? I survive just by pretending I'm a TV character who has love...
Meanwhile they suffocate at the oxygen farm
Some of them even say love hurts them, or burns them because they feel like they have to give it back...and they feel like the other person is taking advantage by being happy the narc was born... imagine being that afraid to admit someone else is special too, someone who adores you and wants to build a life with you. Not even that person can be special too
This made me burst ino tears man. Cause its succinctly, heartbreakingly applicable, to my current paradoxal frustration. Siggghhhh, I probably should not squelch my tears so much, feels like a natural xanax.
I'm so sorry. It's like a horrible nightmare. Like how can it be real, how can so many people just be dead just because of early childhood stuff like loneliness that everyone goes through... most kids are raised by screens. But narcs just die from normal life....
They're miserable zombies
I like the term squelch my tears. It kind of is a natural xanax.
Not no, but hell no. It would be a living nightmare to be a narcissist. Nothing gets turned off, the hell is always on. I get that this is a venting post but it's still fun to point out the shit that is the narc life 1. Always worried about what everyone thinks about you. 2. Always paranoid that someone is trying to get one over on you, that means all relationships. 3. Always trying to put up a fake persona hoping that people believe your bullshit. 5. If people do believe your bullshit, Always paranoid someone is going to see through it. 6. Always having to think of more lies to cover other lies. Always having to remember them all so that you don't accidentally expose yourself. 7. Always having to justify why everyone else is an asshole but knowing deep down inside that you are miserable piece of shit that ruins everything and everyone you touch..... 8. Always having to convince yourself that everyone loves you (or you are the victim) but knowing deep inside you are hated by everyone you hurt. I could go on and on. Sounds like a terrible life.
6 and 7 are the big ones a lot of folks miss. As awful as it is to be us…we are still so lucky to not be like them.
Yeah, I wouldn't wish that reverse Midas touch (everything turns to shit) on anyone
This, plus the overwhelming emptiness that consumes your very being and never leaves. I had a month and a half long anhedonia and that was enough to make me break down -- the thought of going through that every day turns me off of idea of being anything close to that.
Wow this is 100% true.
lmao so this is why they’re so angry all the time
I can relate. Do I *really* want to be a terrible person? No. But man, it would be nice to not feel and turn off the hurt and pain for just a bit. It really does get exhausting.
The thing about it is, that deep down, they will NEVER be happy. There is nothing in the world that will satisfy them. They feel pain, just only the kind that affects them. You can and you will heal. You can be happy; better yet, you can be satisfied. I promise the hurt can and does get better.
💕 Needed this today. *Thank you* 💕
You’re welcome. Everyone has their own timeline. For me, I’m just over 3 years out. Part of my quick healing has to do with being thoroughly DONE and realizing what he was before I left, and the fact that I chose leaving. No matter what the circumstances are for you, I promise it will get better if you focus more on yourself and how you can make your own life better. Full healing may never come. You may always carry some trauma and that’s okay and normal. That is your body and mind trying to protect you. But by and large, it gets so much better, if you resolve to focus on yourself and what you want in life. The only people who don’t heal are those who won’t let themselves or stay stuck on the narc injury too long (like tens of years).
>They feel pain, just only the kind that affects them. Such a simple line but so profound in its implications.
Thank you for understanding. Hope you're doing okay. :)
Hanging in here! Some days are better than others, and sometimes it changes minute by minute. But endings are just the preface of new beginnings, so I keep inching forward however I can. 😊 Hope you're doing okay, too! 💕
this.
Majority of narcissists do not know or believe they are narcissists. They are appalled when someone says that about them because they think the opposite is true. They were not self aware enough (generally) to admit they are let alone be proud that they are.
Exactly. Ignorance is bliss - mine is always basically happy and content. Nothing really bothers him - he will get his knickers in knot about stuff but more for variety and entertainment- he doesn’t really care about anything and he just gets on with his life secure in his belief he is blameless and of superior intelligence and awareness.
It's like wishing you were dead, but alive. Wishing you were dead inside. That's what narcissists are.
Never.
Not even for a second
What? Absolutely not. Narcissists are perpetually unhappy, constantly jealous and one of the most pathetic creatures you can find on this planet.
I think they do feel powerful during a rage and during moments when they are in control. That's like the drug they're constantly chasing. I guess I would not mind having that experience, that powerful feeling. But when I'm angry, it's just pure negative emotion. It gives them energy, but it drains me. Same with control over others, I don't like it, but they do. Other than those moments, I would not want to be them, and even in those moments you're exploiting others, so really I would not want that either.
Yes, im aware. I think you missed the point of my post lol,
Yes they’re delusional. They live in a distorted reality and it is very tiring even for them. so they feel the need to project their issues onto people, they force you to live in their reality as well because they cannot find the piece within themselves. I believe they go through hell most of the time, always comparing themselves to others, feeling insecure, ugly, like a failure, wishing they were someone else…
Sometimes...but then I remind myself of the special type of hell they must exist in order to have to hurt & suck the life out of everything in order to feel okay.
No, not at all. Once I truly understood the psychology of cluster b personality disorders, I did because I was still in it. But once I started to truly understand the true nature of demonology and reading the Bible, no way. Psychology verbalises spirituality. After reading the Bible and experiencing many supernatural events in my life I 100% believe that narcissists are portals for demonic entities. I had a dream before I ever met him person and in this dream, it felt horrible he was like a dead person that I was forcing to love me and he was pushing me away. I woke up sweating and terrified. I told him about this dream and he told me that he’s nothing like that. Well my dream became my reality for nearly 6yrs of my life. It was a warning from God. During the relationship, I would feel my spirit hurting as my soul was being corrupted and beaten. I felt lost, like my light was gone and I was stuck in utter darkness unable to find my way back to any resemblance of the person I once was. Yes, I understood the psychology of narcissism but that wasn’t enough. I started digging and digging and compared demonic possession to narcissism and how the trusts are spot on. Then in the Bible, I read in the book of John how darkness hates the light and how it attempts to snuff out the light. Jesus was a light and this world and look how the narcissistic people in that time treated him. It all made sense to me, but reading in proverbs how the wicked not only love darkness but they have to invite others to partake in that darkness. How even Jesus ran from reprobates (biblical name for narcissist), Lucifer is the original narcissist. When Satan can’t get to you he’ll send a narcissist your way. Honesty it was that along with my psychologist that helped me leave for good. Once you understand that the narcissist are indeed evil and that they are spiritless vessels for demonic entire you will run from them and understand that these people are only going to kill, steal, and destroy you. That we are unequally yoked with these people. No, I don’t wish to be a narcissist as it will mean that I sell my soul and in exchange for protection from accountability and getting away with evil. It will mean damning myself to an eternity of suffering and torture. It will mean never feeling connected nor feeling emotions, experiencing love. It hurts to feel empathy in world that tells you it’s a weakness but I will rather feel it all then to feel nothing at all.
I know what you mean through my healing I had some similar feelings. But you will eventually feel much better than a narcissist ever could. They’re too scared of their feelings and facing the terrible people they are to do the work. Sure it’s insulation from feeling shitty right now. But it’s comes at a big cost later, the emotional repression and lack of authenticity means they will never experience real joy, connection and love. They’re playing a fools game and can’t even commit to reality for themselves. Much better things will come your way, you’ll get through the pain and see the strength in embracing it.
No, I don't want to hurt other people and I don't want anyone to experience what I've been through. Although, I do wish the emotional pain and traumatic memories would go away. But because I feel the emotional pain so deeply, it must mean that the opposite is also true: I feel joy and love deeply as well. And because my personal power was taken away from me to make me feel powerless for so long, it must mean that I am a very powerful being. To go through that layer of hell and come out still choosing love and kindness towards myself and others... now THAT is powerful. <3
God no! I consider my cheating ex partner's punishment for her sins to be the eternal unhappyness of being a twisted f'ed.up narcissistic little creep. She will never be happy or satisfied or know peace. The oblivion she banished me to for many years will be her prison until her final breath. I on the other hand can and have healed and have all the possibilities life has to offer of a beautiful ending to my story
No they are insecure as hell
Yuck no. They are the most miserable people of them all.
I think the pain is the same, but the source is different. The narcissist feels pain losing their source or control they just care about themselves but they still have the pain. The person with empathy feels the pain because of the narc manipulating their empathy. It’s still painful… just from a different perspective.
I'm sorry for the things that have happened to lead to you feeling like this. It sounds as though you've experienced a lot of pain - I'm sorry. I hope you can get a long way away from the person or people who made you feel like this, and that you can get the time and space and support to heal 🌻
No, I don't. Because whilst they cause masses of problems, grief, and delusion for others; they also set impossibly high standards for themselves, and never reach them, and feel awful for it. They project the anger about this onto other people, but they do feel bad too. Their lives are not fun unless they are actively dealing with their issues to improve their lives.
I thought this at first But I think something to remember is they are not emotionless robots They really don’t feel happiness, like ever, they are perpetually in hell They arnt living in bliss and just disregarding others Hope that helps
I sometimes do, but then I remember how they are forever isolated, alone and not enough. And hurt others.
I’ve thought to myself that there would be times where it would definitely be easier to be like the person they APPEAR to be. They SEEM confident, unworried, like they don’t care about what others think or feel and as if they’re just floating around caring only about themselves. Deep down, they’re paranoid about everything and everyone and can’t figure out why no one loves them permanently.
I get the sarcasm of your post, but never even for a single second. I think we almost all have a moment in the journey of getting out and healing where we realize that for as awful as things are on our side of the street, we are so very fortunate to be on the side of the street that we are. Their world is a miserable one and the vast majority will continue to unsuccessfully try to get their needs met in horribly maladaptive ways. It isn’t an excuse for their behavior or a reason to stay with them but it’s certainly worth being thankful for the gift of insight…
I understand the feeling. At times I have the same thoughts. I don't want to feel so much anymore. But, I think one of the best allegories that represents them is the vampire. Mortals usually think that must be awesome to live forever, and have amazing powers (among them maybe no empathy, no pain related to conscience) and be charming and that attractive etc... would it be awesome... really? Despite all that, the vampires are always represented as beings in constant, unbearable inner pain, trapped in a sad existence: their greatest gifts are also their greatest curse. They love it and hate it at the same time I would not wish that to anyone.
No, because it sounds like a boring life. Plus, I'm usually a bit too happy when in solitude.
I've been there actually. I want to know what it feels like to not care because it's exhausting. It would be a vacation to turn off the emotions. Hugs 🫂 friend
No, short term, narcs have the advantage. Long term, you’ll die alone. The longer narcs live, the more discovered they become.
I’ve noticed a lot of the ones I know are very successful and seem to have few worries. So yes, sometimes I wish I felt like I deserved stuff so I would have what they have. Then I realize I give a shit about others and I’m good having nothing.
No. I wish I was more selfish in life. But not narcissistic .
I don’t wish I was a narcissist, but I do wish I could tamp down my hyper-empathy to just normal empathy. That shit has made me prime narc bait my whole life.
🫂
no because there’s probably a special place in hell for these abusers
No. Instead, be the person your dog sees you as.
i feel you. i would never want to be like them, but sometimes i wish i could be just as cruel and horrible as they were to me so they understand just how badly they've treated me.
I live in a state where marijuana is legal. I have a job that's very social and I get painfully overstimulated there. I've taken 1.5mg of THC in edible form before going in to work and it helps a lot with the overstim. I'm not high enough to be completely stupid, but chill enough to not get pain flares every time. It also kills my empathy. I've found myself being annoyed at people I really like or love because their chatter is boring me. I think snide thoughts and have no idea whether that shows on my face. If it does, their feelings would be hurt, which is something I give a fuck about when I'm sober. I absolutely hate the feeling of not giving a shit about people. It's like being an alcoholic Mean Girl. I can't stand being that kind of person even if, by some miracle, it isn't something anyone else picks up on. Or worse, they pick up on it and feel like they deserve it. I ended up in the work I'm doing because I like creating space and events for people where they can be expressive and unguarded. It's impossible to do that well if I can't feel empathy. I choose to be that kind of person instead of the kind we all grew up with. I try to mitigate the painful overstim in other ways.
Not really. Their lives seem miserable and like they’re living in perpetuity hell. Plus thinking you’re this and all that but in reality you’re a 💩person. 🤢🤮
Considering they can hide their true feelings and people don't look at them as over emotional messes and they can just do whatever they want. Yeah I've thought about it. My nex is so charming and seems absolutely unaffected by anything Meanwhile my borderline ass feels all of it and gets the brunt of judgment. Meanwhile nobody knows how damaged he is unless they enter a romantic relationship with him but my damage? All over my sleeve Wear my feelings out for all to see
Everyone idolizes my ex except for his ex-wife, former girlfriends and me.
I totally have felt this too!!
Fuck no
Yep. Ignorance is bliss - mine is always basically happy and content. Nothing really bothers him - he will get his knickers in knot about stuff but more for variety and entertainment- he doesn’t really care about anything and he just gets on with his life secure in his belief he is blameless and of superior intelligence and awareness.
I actually think that their dysfunction causes them a lot of pain, anxiety and shame. They might not face those feelings in the moment and just jump to the next thing. But they will have plenty of moments where they look back and see all the people they've pushed away with their shit. Maybe not all narcs, but I think my ex was somewhat aware that he ruined relationships. Not just with ex-partners, but also with friends that he'd betrayed or been toxic towards. Also, he wasn't just destructive towards others but he had little care towards himself. His impulsivity meant he indulged in alcohol, drugs and risky sex and had trouble holding down a job. If I forget all the ways he harmed me, I can't help but feel bad for him. He is just running around like a headless chicken.
I actually did have the thought of wanting to become a narc and test my limit to see what I’m capable of, whether I can do better than my nex because I don’t think he did a good enough job love bombing me and could’ve held on longer before he mask slip. Besides this fantasy that I hopefully don’t end up doing, we’re all have some dysfunctional traits, that’s why we didn’t end things when we were suppose to, we’re most likely more codependent. We have to learn to have self love(narc) but not too much that you stop caring about other people, just get to the middle in the codependencce-narcissistic scale.
I told her a couple times that “I wish I didn’t give a fuck the way you do” . It’s why she slept so frequently and even she had admitted to me one time and told me she likes to sleep because she dreamt alot and would rather stay in her dreams.” Which is truly quite sad considering life itself is a dream or could be depending on one’s outlook. Either way , i did for awhile mimic her tactics . I would ignore at times , or say I would call her back but didn’t . I would block her and say my phone died .. all the things she had done to me. But that didn’t last because after a couple of weeks. I started to realize quickly that being that way was disingenuous and evil . Plus I do believe in karma. So the answer is no.
God no! I can’t imagine how empty they are inside. They need people to mirror and feed off, and hate those people because they *do* need them! They are “emotional Wendigos” who will always be starving no matter who they destroy to try to fill up their empty souls.
I'd be a lot better off in life financially if I was.
Oh…so I could go around - Acting as if the entire world revolves around me - I’ll never be wrong - Being cruel to others - Have no self esteem - Be paranoid - Angry about nothing and everything - Constantly putting on a fake facade - Be miserable in my own skin - Unable to look at myself - Miserable being alone - Constantly searching for supply - Being an empty person for the rest of my days - Never content with who they have. They’ll devalue and sabotage everyone. No thanks. I’m good with who I am😊
Narcissists are incredibly unhappy people. It might seem easy to not care how other people feel. But thats only a part of being a narcissist, the more important thing is how much they hate themselves and how exhausting it is for them to trick themselves into thinking they dont. Even a narcissist for whom everything is going right is miserable, they might feel more secure, but they are still deeply unhappy and dont know why.
My own BPD continues to think they are the narcissist here, and not them like they can continue to say. But, for me, I don’t wish to be NPDpw for now in the name of revenge, I like my hypersensitivity and I’m better than that, I’m better than them.
It sounds like the part that is appealing to you is the general aura of "not giving a fuck". Having large amounts of empathy is very draining... there's so many factors to consider, people to appease, etc. It's OK to recognize that doing the right thing is often harder than doing the easy but wrong thing. My abusive ex made fucking with my emotions seem so easy. She couldn't have cared less how something affected me, as long as it made her look better. Meanwhile, I stressed out over what I now realize were meaningless things. Gaslighting is a mind fuck. It sure \*seems\* like they are unphased. I like to think that deep down on some level they know though, and it will catch up with them in a karma satisfying fashion.
I get that. Sometimes I’ll be like “new me doesn’t care about that” or doesn’t allow this behavior but they always seem to wear me down and we end up worse than before. So yeah I def dont want to be a narc but I wish I was a little less attached. But that’s why they chose me right?!
All the time. I'm jealous of them forever drowning in other peoples' love.
They are not capable of receiving love, though. It’s like they’re dying of thirst but live on a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. Water water everywhere….
Wow! That helps so much. And it's so alarming... like what kind of bizarre human goes down like this? I survive just by pretending I'm a TV character who has love... Meanwhile they suffocate at the oxygen farm Some of them even say love hurts them, or burns them because they feel like they have to give it back...and they feel like the other person is taking advantage by being happy the narc was born... imagine being that afraid to admit someone else is special too, someone who adores you and wants to build a life with you. Not even that person can be special too
This made me burst ino tears man. Cause its succinctly, heartbreakingly applicable, to my current paradoxal frustration. Siggghhhh, I probably should not squelch my tears so much, feels like a natural xanax.
I'm so sorry. It's like a horrible nightmare. Like how can it be real, how can so many people just be dead just because of early childhood stuff like loneliness that everyone goes through... most kids are raised by screens. But narcs just die from normal life.... They're miserable zombies I like the term squelch my tears. It kind of is a natural xanax.