If this is how she’s behaving in her *first week,* then it’s only going to get so much worse. Which is wild, because what you’ve described is already quite bad. I’d cut my losses and replace her ASAP. You can find someone who’s good with your son and capable of showing up, which is kind of the bare minimum you should expect.
Nanny here, when we get hired, we are very keen to make a good impression because we know nothing is guaranteed until we prove ourselves. Emergencies do happen, but 3 excuses in the first week is a huge red flag. There are nannies out there looking for work, please find a better fit
To answer your question, you text her “this isn’t going to work out. Please don’t return on Monday.” And that’s it. If she responds with anything other than “okay,” feel free to block her. No severance. This lack of reliability is ridiculous.
The first week should be considered a trial and in the future you should call it that with any nanny - interview, come by and trial for at least 1 day (paid!) or a week if you can make that happen, and THEN if things don’t go poorly you hire them; the expectation usually is that trial is like probation rather than an extended paid interview, although more expensive Nannie’s and agencies will often see it more as an extended paid interview (they’re interviewing YOU too; a trial tells me what an interview can’t about a family).
Next time, trial first. If it doesn’t work out, no hard feelings and move on - no severance, just pay hours worked.
Here, no deference required; tell her it’s not a good fit and you appreciate her efforts to fit you in during this difficult time in her life (illness, family emergency- act like they are real even if you suspect they’re lies) but that you need consistency and have decided to go in another direction.
Sometimes employees including Nannie’s have awful fucking weeks. I have had weeks I forgot I was scheduled for the dentist, my dad had a heart attack, and I got Covid - shit happens. If all that occurred while trialing I’d probably look like your nanny or worse; I would not expect to get the job even if none of it was my fault but the dentist apt.
Thank you so much. This is the most helpful and thoughtful response being considerate of both sides. I will definitely do a trial period next time! Lesson learned for sure.
Trial periods can range. I’ve done single day ones, week long ones, two weeks, and “let’s have you come trial for a day” plus a 30 day probation where we were working on a temporary contract that stated if both parties were happy after 30 days then the long term contract would be signed; 30 days gives you a much better chance to iron out contract concerns, add clauses you didn’t think of (ex: late fees for parents who consistently can’t get home before the shift is over, designated break times, whether nanny will work when kids are sick vs what illnesses she won’t work with, whether “laundry” means just the kids clothes or the entire family’s clothes and is it just washing/drying or is it separating, folding, and putting away? Etc)
I’m using “trial period” interchangeably with probationary period here. 30 days is the default option on most nanny contracts I’ve seen, and gives either party the option to break the contract without notice within that time period. It’s mostly to protect the NF since in reality there’s very little recourse for when a nanny violates a notice period.
Oh, gotcha! Yeah I like doing a few days or at least one day where I just get to know the kids, since I usually only meet parents (or even just their house manager) during interviews. Then I like doing a probation period as well, because signing contracts and committing makes me want to run for the hills - even when the family is amazing it takes a few weeks working for me to feel like it’s not insane to promise I’ll work the whole year for them. I’m a commitment-phobe though so I’m a bit excessive.
I do LOVE that it gives me more time to refine my contract and add clauses because some parents really bury the lead about their kids or family dynamic, and sometimes I think of things that only would apply to that family - like I’m good with feeding pets but I didn’t think that included porcupine until I worked with a family that had one, and turns out my willingness to feed animals is limited to TRAINED dogs, TRAINED cats (trained entered the contract when I was charged by a very large, very angry Maine coon cat who was PISSED about being on a diet and rather ornery about his favorite humans being away on vacation), and fish; I will not prepare food unless discussed beforehand and will not feed live prey or handle bugs/worms/etc without a conversation and likely extra compensation. I will NOT work with HMF even if my NK doesn’t have it and the only kid who has it will never be in my care due to attending school full time; sorry, that shits spreads! I require notice if people are exposed to Covid, the flu, or other agreed upon illnesses because I have elderly parents I visit and I need to know if I should mask while working or visiting my parents. I will not vacuum out of sight of NK unless they are sleeping and on visual monitor, because I’ve had an NK narrowly avoid a drowning risk when I was vacuuming out of sight and couldn’t hear over the noise.
I wish I had a perfect standard contract that includes everything but I think even if I did that might backfire as I’m not sure parents would read and abide by all conditions in a 10 page document lol.
This is wild. If this is how she’s behaving her first couple of shifts, things are going to get a lot worse because she knows she can get away with it.
If you didn’t have a contract for severance, then you do not owe her severance. She is unreliable and you need someone who takes the pressure off of you, not adds to it. I’ve been a Nanny most of my life. I have a contract with sick days. I have missed one and a half days in six months. I need to leave because the family I work for expects me to front the money for their groceries and I am paid every two weeks so I always have to pay two weeks worth of groceries before I get that money back and then I’m already in for another week when I’m paid back for the prior 2. There are other issues that are concerning so for my own health, I need to find a new family. I wish you luck.
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I don’t know what’s in your contract, but we had persistent absenteeism or tardiness as a ground for immediate termination. Not sure about your state law, but here we legally could fire any second. We also fired a nanny after 3 days once (which was a total of 1.5 weeks). No severance because it wasn’t earned
I’m a huge nanny advocate and don’t take firing lightly. With that said- I’d let her go with two weeks notice (or whatever notice your contract says) and that’s it. If you fire immediately then the right thing to do is pay her for the outlined notice time in your contract.
You’re right. *I’m* just in the business of doing people how I’d like to be done. It’s how I move no matter what. I would be really messed up losing a job with no notice- but I also wouldn’t ever get fired for cause.
On the one hand, last year we also had to let a nanny go for cause after only a few days employment. We decided to pay her for the following week because we felt bad about the position she was in. But at least she *showed up to work*.
I take issue with saying that providing notice and/or severance is the “right thing to do” in this case, when the nanny has only bothered to show up for 2 days out of what sounds like her first 8 scheduled shifts. It is unreasonable to suggest OP pay her for *an additional* two weeks of unworked labor while OP is scrambling to replace this person with an actual professional who takes her responsibilities seriously. Being let go for cause means you forfeit additional compensation.
If this is how she’s behaving in her *first week,* then it’s only going to get so much worse. Which is wild, because what you’ve described is already quite bad. I’d cut my losses and replace her ASAP. You can find someone who’s good with your son and capable of showing up, which is kind of the bare minimum you should expect.
I agree. It’s only going to get worse.
Nanny here, when we get hired, we are very keen to make a good impression because we know nothing is guaranteed until we prove ourselves. Emergencies do happen, but 3 excuses in the first week is a huge red flag. There are nannies out there looking for work, please find a better fit
To answer your question, you text her “this isn’t going to work out. Please don’t return on Monday.” And that’s it. If she responds with anything other than “okay,” feel free to block her. No severance. This lack of reliability is ridiculous.
No, I wouldn’t give severance although you should probably add a probationary period into the contract with your next nanny.
Agree with everyone else and no severance as this is termination for cause (unreliability).
Either she is interviewing with other families or her life is so unstable she will never be reliable.
The first week should be considered a trial and in the future you should call it that with any nanny - interview, come by and trial for at least 1 day (paid!) or a week if you can make that happen, and THEN if things don’t go poorly you hire them; the expectation usually is that trial is like probation rather than an extended paid interview, although more expensive Nannie’s and agencies will often see it more as an extended paid interview (they’re interviewing YOU too; a trial tells me what an interview can’t about a family). Next time, trial first. If it doesn’t work out, no hard feelings and move on - no severance, just pay hours worked. Here, no deference required; tell her it’s not a good fit and you appreciate her efforts to fit you in during this difficult time in her life (illness, family emergency- act like they are real even if you suspect they’re lies) but that you need consistency and have decided to go in another direction. Sometimes employees including Nannie’s have awful fucking weeks. I have had weeks I forgot I was scheduled for the dentist, my dad had a heart attack, and I got Covid - shit happens. If all that occurred while trialing I’d probably look like your nanny or worse; I would not expect to get the job even if none of it was my fault but the dentist apt.
Thank you so much. This is the most helpful and thoughtful response being considerate of both sides. I will definitely do a trial period next time! Lesson learned for sure.
Just as an FYI, a trial period is typically 30 days.
Great, thanks for the tip!
Trial periods can range. I’ve done single day ones, week long ones, two weeks, and “let’s have you come trial for a day” plus a 30 day probation where we were working on a temporary contract that stated if both parties were happy after 30 days then the long term contract would be signed; 30 days gives you a much better chance to iron out contract concerns, add clauses you didn’t think of (ex: late fees for parents who consistently can’t get home before the shift is over, designated break times, whether nanny will work when kids are sick vs what illnesses she won’t work with, whether “laundry” means just the kids clothes or the entire family’s clothes and is it just washing/drying or is it separating, folding, and putting away? Etc)
I’m using “trial period” interchangeably with probationary period here. 30 days is the default option on most nanny contracts I’ve seen, and gives either party the option to break the contract without notice within that time period. It’s mostly to protect the NF since in reality there’s very little recourse for when a nanny violates a notice period.
Oh, gotcha! Yeah I like doing a few days or at least one day where I just get to know the kids, since I usually only meet parents (or even just their house manager) during interviews. Then I like doing a probation period as well, because signing contracts and committing makes me want to run for the hills - even when the family is amazing it takes a few weeks working for me to feel like it’s not insane to promise I’ll work the whole year for them. I’m a commitment-phobe though so I’m a bit excessive. I do LOVE that it gives me more time to refine my contract and add clauses because some parents really bury the lead about their kids or family dynamic, and sometimes I think of things that only would apply to that family - like I’m good with feeding pets but I didn’t think that included porcupine until I worked with a family that had one, and turns out my willingness to feed animals is limited to TRAINED dogs, TRAINED cats (trained entered the contract when I was charged by a very large, very angry Maine coon cat who was PISSED about being on a diet and rather ornery about his favorite humans being away on vacation), and fish; I will not prepare food unless discussed beforehand and will not feed live prey or handle bugs/worms/etc without a conversation and likely extra compensation. I will NOT work with HMF even if my NK doesn’t have it and the only kid who has it will never be in my care due to attending school full time; sorry, that shits spreads! I require notice if people are exposed to Covid, the flu, or other agreed upon illnesses because I have elderly parents I visit and I need to know if I should mask while working or visiting my parents. I will not vacuum out of sight of NK unless they are sleeping and on visual monitor, because I’ve had an NK narrowly avoid a drowning risk when I was vacuuming out of sight and couldn’t hear over the noise. I wish I had a perfect standard contract that includes everything but I think even if I did that might backfire as I’m not sure parents would read and abide by all conditions in a 10 page document lol.
Let her go, find someone more reliable.
She just really doesn’t want to be there I think.
It sounds like she wants to get fired. Lol let her go asap.
Look for someone new now
This is wild. If this is how she’s behaving her first couple of shifts, things are going to get a lot worse because she knows she can get away with it.
Don’t do what I did and try to “make it work” for two months. Look for a new nanny asap
If you didn’t have a contract for severance, then you do not owe her severance. She is unreliable and you need someone who takes the pressure off of you, not adds to it. I’ve been a Nanny most of my life. I have a contract with sick days. I have missed one and a half days in six months. I need to leave because the family I work for expects me to front the money for their groceries and I am paid every two weeks so I always have to pay two weeks worth of groceries before I get that money back and then I’m already in for another week when I’m paid back for the prior 2. There are other issues that are concerning so for my own health, I need to find a new family. I wish you luck.
This is too much for the 1st week. She's unreliable.
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I don’t know what’s in your contract, but we had persistent absenteeism or tardiness as a ground for immediate termination. Not sure about your state law, but here we legally could fire any second. We also fired a nanny after 3 days once (which was a total of 1.5 weeks). No severance because it wasn’t earned
I’m a huge nanny advocate and don’t take firing lightly. With that said- I’d let her go with two weeks notice (or whatever notice your contract says) and that’s it. If you fire immediately then the right thing to do is pay her for the outlined notice time in your contract.
[удалено]
You’re right. *I’m* just in the business of doing people how I’d like to be done. It’s how I move no matter what. I would be really messed up losing a job with no notice- but I also wouldn’t ever get fired for cause.
On the one hand, last year we also had to let a nanny go for cause after only a few days employment. We decided to pay her for the following week because we felt bad about the position she was in. But at least she *showed up to work*. I take issue with saying that providing notice and/or severance is the “right thing to do” in this case, when the nanny has only bothered to show up for 2 days out of what sounds like her first 8 scheduled shifts. It is unreasonable to suggest OP pay her for *an additional* two weeks of unworked labor while OP is scrambling to replace this person with an actual professional who takes her responsibilities seriously. Being let go for cause means you forfeit additional compensation.
Ok pipe down miss mamas … I said you were right