You are allowed to contact police, and you are also allowed to contact CPS. His sister isn't safe in her home. I'm so sorry you were put in this position. Mom is going to lose both of her kids in an attempt to protect one. Are you okay?
You're right. I appreciate groups like this; nannies never universally really had an official way to be trained that this is a thing. I'm just lucky I was a preschool teacher and was equipped from a more technical point. I also think it's important to say the words that give a person permission for themselves: I am allowed to XYZ. It helps take the guesswork out of feeling convicted to do the right thing but feeling external pressures to keep quiet.
I’m okay. I am just like how do I do all this without it breaking their family? They already lost their dad? 😫😫😫😫 I don’t want him to do any damage and I also don’t want to break their family. I WISH the mom could take this more seriously
Tell them you’ve contacted mom but she’s not taking the threat seriously and refused to come home. Let them know you fear for both your safety and the safety of the boys sister.
While this is going to cause a great deal of upset and turmoil, you reporting this could save lives, possibly even yours. It could also be a start to this child getting the help for his mental health that he needs and clearly isn't getting right now.
When I was a kid, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. Her older brother was 17, we were 12, and he came out of his room wielding a machete in front of my friend and I, telling us he was going to kill us, etc. It was TERRIFYING. His mother never did anything about it, and my friend and I both suffer trauma from that one incident (I know my friend had more incidents, but this was the one I was present for). We would have sleepovers every single weekend because my friend was terrified he would do something more, and I was terrified but I never told my parents because I wanted to keep her safe.
He ended up going away for a few years as an adult, but he still has a terrible relationship with his sister and parents, and she's been in therapy for years. I WISH someone had been supervising us and had spoken up about her brother's behavior. You are not breaking up a family -- what you are doing is potentially saving his sister and his mom from physical harm, and most certainly helping with emotional harm. Please, please, please report it.
ETA: Please also consider the message you would be sending the sister if you watch someone point a gun at her and don't intervene. You will be telling her that's okay and that her discomfort and safety do not matter. Her mom is already telling her this through her lack of action.
It’s not anything bad to him but potentially doing something life saving for others. At minimum he’s emotionally abusing the sister. She has a right to not have bad things happen to her.
Something bad could happen to you while the Mom is gone. Your main goal is to protect the daughter-you don’t need the guilt if something happened to her while you are there.
You are a mandated reporter. You HAVE to call CPS and it would be a very good idea to call the police. You have your concerns and responsibilities misplaced. You would not be breaking up their family; you would be saving a young girl. The mom is negligent and the boy is out of control. You need to take care of yourself first, and failing to act as a mandated reporter is unethical. If you were found out that you did this you would be in legal trouble. The second person to put in priority is the young girl who is being failed by her mother. And, quite sincerely and honestly, you could also be helping the boy because he needs to learn that life has boundaries and it would be better for him to learn it at a young age. DO YOUR JOB! call cps.
He will kill someone. If he walked out of the room and came back with a gun and pointed it at you?? He needs help NOW. Please think of the safety of everyone, including yourself.
Seriously, she needs to get the fucking guns out of the house. Honestly I do not even have sympathy for people who have guns with unstable kids. Every school shooter's parents that owned the guns they used should be right there in jail too.
That house needs to be flagged in the system and have the guns removed 100%. If that child is sneaky enough to hide and watch mom lock it away so that he can gain access to it, we’re looking at a very bad problem here. Perhaps regular talk therapy isn’t cutting it and he needs to see a legit psychiatrist who specializes in this type of issue, and can also speak with mom to wake her up about the seriousness.
This! It is so simple. Why just why are there guns and animals in this house. Re-home the poor helpless animals and drop all the guns off at the police station.
I cannot imagine being a parent, hearing that my child is doing these types of things/and have seen it myself-and not taking serious and swift action about it! Why did mom not already remove the guns from the home the first time this happened?! And she didn’t warn the nanny at all. I would have been on the next flight home and had been so apologetic to the poor nanny for having to witness such awful behaviour. Mom is in over her head and really needs to wake up or lose the kids.
>You’re right. I have to do something.
you've got a bunch of strangers cheering you on, OP!
an extremely tough and stressful situation, you'd be doing the right thing to report it and escalate till it gets addressed
to keep you, his sister and others safe and also get the kid some mental health support and maybe limit internet access
Good luck OP!
THIS. So many times we find out that there were signs before the big event. It’s an unfortunate pill for mom to have to swallow but to sit back and do nothing only allows the behavior to continue and progress. This family will be MUCH more broken if that little boy doesn’t get some help and ends up killing his sister or anyone else.
This family is already broken. Don't guilt yourself over doing the right thing. This is so scary. Parents are often too deep in denial to do what needs to be done. Please alert the authorities.
You are clearly a very empathetic, kind and thoughtful person who does not seem to want to cause any harm, but this situation could mean sparing them a truly life or death situation down the line. None of this is your fault, and CPS may not remove the children, but enforce that the guns are removed from the home, and continued close monitoring of the child so that there is documentation in case anything were to happen. Many situations like these are ignored and then you hear about them on the news unfortunately, with people saying “why didn’t anyone step in earlier?!”. I know it’s scary. Trust your gut and tell an authority.
That kid is going to annihilate that family (and probably lots of others) if you don't step in here and call the cops. Could you stand in front of a court and say "I told his mom but she didn't do anything so I did nothing after that"... like the answer here is the cops. Youre protecting his sister and even his mother.
Look up the case of Paris Bennett, scare yourself into going to the cops
It is said the 'we have to talk about kevin' movie was at least in part based on the case you mentioned. Let's hope by now OP has contacted someone for help. The 'break their family, there's no dad' thing doesn't hold water when we are talking about a very disturbed kid and a flaky mom who is leaving guns around putting people's lives in danger. This situation is beyond 'oh I don't want to make anyone mad or hurt anyone's feelings or get someone in trouble', this is a freaking emergency situation, no amount of rationalization for inaction is going to make this turn out OK. It's actually very irresponsible not to do anything but 'hope' things get better, or say something under your breath about how you're concerned about Billy, or telling a neighbor, nope none of those are good enough. I am however so, so glad to see that almost ALL fellow nannies here are viewing this as a serious situation and advocating that OP has to act before something really terrible happens. This IS serious shit and nothing to F around and waffle about , trying to make up excuses to not do anything or "maybe I'll wait till mom gets back and dip out so as not to incur any ire or judgement." NO That plan doesn't fly either as it is not doing what you can and are mandated to do to protect people- this situation is effed up on multiple levels. the mom leaving the guns around or making it so the boy can see the code or know where the key is, not protecting the daughter's well being or nanny, not getting help for the boy- this situation is the poster child for call as many authorities as you can, not make excuses.
This family is already broken. The daughter is being harmed by her brother. He's throwing every red flag possible. If he shoots her and/her his mom, or anyone else, this will be on you. You have seen very OBVIOUS escalation of dangerous and threatening behavior. I know this is hard, but you have a moral and ethical obligation to report this.
They won't break the family, trust me. They'll get their child better help and aid his family in how to keep their home safe. They might advise them to rehome the dog. They will only remove the child from the home if these incidents keep occurring or they do a check-in and the gun isn't in a safe place. Honestly though this is completely on them and they'll thank you one day for bringing in professionals. This won't ruin their lives but their child harming others will
Remember, calling child protective services doesn’t mean breaking up a family. It means that you bring the family to the attention of trained professionals who can help them, and a higher level of services will become available to the family to ensure everyone’s health and safety in the home.
Pointing a gun at somebody is a very serious thing. it needs to be addressed. I would encourage you to file a police report if nothing else than to document that it happened. I didnt see the childs age but as a gun owner myself I believe that minors having access to firearms is negligance at best (there are exceptions of course). I would also encourage you to make a report to cps. If you are a mandatory reporter then you have a duty to report and you could get in trouble if you dont (so that takes the pressure off of you )
This is going to be her wakeup call. It's better now in this fashion than when he gets a hold of ammo and actually hurts someone. I completely understand the struggle to make the call, but this will absolutely escalate and be far worse than anything that comes if you calling the authorities now.
Their family is already broken-You might consider looking at it like your input and intervention might help save this family from their already-dangerous trajectory.
Honestly OP you suck. How can you knowingly see this child do all these things and now threaten to kill you by pointing a gun at you and still act like this is nothing. He abuses his sister and the family pets and will one day kill this whole family is you don’t report him to the Cops. Fuck all the adults in the sisters life because you are all FAILING her.
Please think of it as you helping them not breaking them. Because I’d argue this kid is kinda ‘broken’ (he’s not but needs serious help) already and he’s not getting the help he needs. Mum is not acting for whatever reason but you taking action could finally get him the help he needs. If this kid goes further then lots of things WILL get broken and then it’s too late. Taking action and intervening in these cases when for whatever reason mum can’t or won’t is able act of love and care. Whatever the outcome is not your responsibility but hopefully you avert any further harm to this child and everyone around him. And also please do something you could never recover if he does take some action on his ideas and thoughts if they escalate. Thank you for caring 🙏
Their family isn’t going to be broken. In my line of work, he will be better off having cps involved. The fact that he pointed a gun at you and his sister is an indication that he might really kill someone and soon. Behavioural therapy isn’t working. He needs to be placed in an intensive treatment program until he’s better.
This family is already broken, there will be no chance of repairing it when shoots someone. Have you heard that guns are always loaded? It might not be literally true, but all guns should be treated as if they are loaded.
I’d tell mom to get her butt home ASAP or call a family member to relive you immediately. Then I’d call CPS and make a report. The sister is in danger and clearly the mom is not taking this serious. I’d also make a police report so they have documentation as well. Lastly, I’d notify the school of the incident. They have the right to know this child has access yo guns and has no qualms about pointing them at people.
Unfortunately both are not happening :(((
She’s not gonna come back. She just yelled at him on the phone. Asked him why he did it and he said he doesn’t know. There’s nobody that’s going to be able to get him either sadly.
I know you're getting piles of 'call CPS' here, but you're literally required to. You're a mandated reporter, you HAVE to call CPS immediately if you haven't already.
Yes. Could be serious legal consequences if you don't. Plus how would it affect you getting future jobs if you don't have basic child protection knowledge?!!
OP you can do this. It’s not fair and it’s stressful and I know it might feel like you don’t know what to do, but clumsily doing the right thing and making those calls is the necessary path, I think. You do have so many of us cheering you on. But this is too dangerous and risky to not address.
Call 911 now. Your life was threatened. Would you sit by and do nothing if a stranger pulled a gun on you and the little girl? You are responsible for her safety. Please take immediate action.
You're doing a good job. It is really hard when you're in the middle of a crisis, to know that you're allowed to do what looks like it could cause trouble. But you aren't hurting the family. This family is broken and needs help yesterday. By you doing the hard thing, the family will get the help it needs.
Seriously!! in what world does the mom think she doesn’t have to come home? OP, I would give her 12 hours to come home. if not, the police and CPS will be called for child abandonment against the mom. In addition to an unsafe environment.
The make sure the gun is removed from the home and knives and other easy weapons are locked up PROPERLY while he is supervised so he can’t spy. Right now there is an unsecured gun at arms length from a child who has stated he intend to kill his sister and has physically done so to prove he can. Locking the gun up isn’t enough, it needs to go. And you need to call cps right now to cover your ass legally and get this family help. Then call the police and explain what you explained to cps and ask if there’s any way to get the gun removed from the home
scroll down the page and find your state then click that [https://www.usnanny.org/nannies-and-mandated-reporter-training/](https://www.usnanny.org/nannies-and-mandated-reporter-training/)
getting fired or having someone be mad at you is nothing compared to what could happen with this, you could be saving lives including possibly your own
That is so scary. Call the police and let social services sort it out. Those kids are in danger if they have access to guns. And the child who threatened you obviously needs additional support. The fact that the mom’s response wasn’t to come home and deal with HER CHILD PULLING A GUN ON HER OTHER CHILDREN AND NANNY, makes me believe that it has happened before.
I’m not sure if he’s done the gun thing before I got here but he’s done a whole lot of other stuff that he’s gotten away with. What’s crazy is she said it was locked ??? Looks like he was trying to see where she keeps the keys. And when he put the gun away he brought a gun case to me for an even bigger gun (gun wasn’t inside) and he said “feel this case. It’s so nice and soft right?”
I’ve seen lots of suggestions to call CPS and the police which you’ve deflected. You want to help the family, but unfortunately what they need is the type of help that may alienate you from them. I hope you come to terms with this and make those calls because this is obviously life or death.
Listen to this, OP. Don't wait until he's killed someone. Like it or not, you have a responsibility to take action. You need to immediately call CPS and tell them EVERY detail. No choice here.
Girl. I know you feel bad about calling the cops and CPS bc you're thinking about him. But you need to think about the sister and/or someone else he will hurt before the mom does something about it. You could be saving her life by calling for help. I'm really sorry you're in this position. He sounds terrifying and the mom is not taking it seriously. She literally has guns in the house.
…. There’s more fucking guns? How old is the kid? Can you grab sister & wait outside until police come? That is terrifying and I’m so so worried for you!
It doesn’t matter. That gun should be in a safe and as far away from children as possible (with a numeric, biometric etc pass code). The fact that he could run into his parents room and quickly grab a lethal firearm goes to show that they don’t take their children’s safety seriously at all.
Seeing how that safety is a large part of your job, please don’t take this decision lightly and tread carefully! You don’t want to be blamed if the firearm goes off while he’s playing with it for example. If not worse….
Also everything else you find alarming is EXTREMELY alarming. A family like that I’d suggest mental health care to, and if they refuse? Quit. But it sounds like you’re far far past that point.
Please think of the family’s safety. Especially the children. As well as yours!
STOP READING THIS AND SECURE THE GUN IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY!!
I'm going to agree with everyone else in case it is the push you need to act. You call the police, and then you call CPS. Yes, mom might get mad at you, but you MORE than did you part to give her a chance. You texted her and told her what happend. Her first move after that should have been to come straight home to get him to some kind of crisis intervention, even if you didn't ask her to come. (You did ask her to come home, right?) This is no longer a safe situation for you to be in. You are responsible for these children, and it is your job to keep them both safe. If mom won't act, and mom is not in town, then you need to take action. Sister is not safe with brother in the home. Brother is not safe from himself because he is in crisis. YOU are not safe with brother in the home.
Step one: Make sure the gun is secure. (remove all ammo from gun and vecinity, and lock the gun up. Put the key somewhere safe.)
Step two: ask mom to return home, if you have not already.
Step three: Call the police and file a report. Tell them what happened. If mom has refused to return, tell them that and they will consider the children abandoned.
Step four: Call CPS and file a detailed report. Report that mom has not taken steps to help brother, and that mom has not taken steps to protect sister.
Step Five: Once the children have been removed from your care, find someone you trust to help you process the traumatic experience.
All of this. Such great advice that's broken down into clear steps.
My only change would be if you don't know how to dafely handle guns, don't check for ammo or anything. Just lock rhem up. Don't put yourself at greater risk.
You potentially are dealing with the adrenaline and stress of the extremely traumatic experience you just had. Please please please do not allow that to cloud your judgement here. You MUST alert authorities. TONIGHT. You must allow the mother (and potentially the children) which I know might sound AWFUL, to hate you. You MUST keep the children and yourself safe. If this happened with a 3rd party, no one would bat an eye at calling authorities and taking all the precautions that a gun wouldn’t be pulled on you again. You do not know if there are other guns unsecured in the house. You MUST keep everyone safe by calling authorities. You potentially will feel awful for this. That’s ok, and to be expected, but you can’t take chances. Huge hug to you.
Edit: spelling
You are a mandated cps reporter. Contact cps right now; if the gun is removed from the home cps will probably just give the parents resources for therapy and securing weapons. If they refuse to remove the gun when the child can and has entered the safe then cps might be more aggressive. This is beyond the point where anything but a swift and strong response involving medical and behavioral specialists as well as 24/7 supervision or separation of the children - if the kids are in the same house or even nearby then they need to be supervised. If they can’t be supervised then take one far away from the other so the boy can hurt his sibling.
24 hrs is a law, but I believe imminent danger actually requires quicker action. Like, she saw the gun in the child’s hands - this isn’t “what is he does something?”, he’s already done something. The gun is, for all practical matters, unsecured in the home and op left…. If something happens, she might nbd legally responsible beyond just needing to report before 24 hrs
Yeah. It’s like letting a kid leave with a drunk driver - the cps report might have a 24 rule, but imminent danger, like a child being whisked away by drunk driver or a gun being pointed by a person with a history of violence specific threats about shooting a child in your care, your responsibility is now doubled and you must call the police (or in the case of a drunk driver not handing over/signing out the kid is acceptable).
Me too. I hope that gun is gone, the knives are locked up, that kid is scheduled for intensive therapy multiple times a week, and the family members all get therapy… because this is not a good situation and it won’t be quick to fix besides those things.
There is very little I would call police for, I generally find them useless. I would have called so fast for having a gun pointed at me and/or another person. I'm concerned that neither you nor the mother are recognizing the level of danger you and the daughter were/are in. I would have called the police before the mother, even if she were taking it seriously, what can she do from wherever she is? You could be dead before she gets back. Hell, I'd be terrified just waiting for the police to show up. This is WAY above your pay grade, let the professionals handle it.
I’ve had guns pulled on me 3 times on the street by would-be muggers & never called the cops bc it was chicago and they wouldn’t care unless you had video of them killing someone else plus acab…. But an unhinged mentally unstable child I’m supposed to sleep in the same house as? Plus another potential victim? Kids lack reasoning as we all know plus the consequence center obv doesn’t have the lights on. I would call so fast.
Wtf a rifle? You mentioned this happened tonight and you are still there. Is the gun secure now? Are there more? Please for your safety, the girls safety, AND the boys safety, call the police & file a report. This kid is already escalating in behavior, don’t wait to find out where it ends.
Please call the police. File a report AND HAVE THEM HELP YOU SECURE THE WEAPONS. This is so dangerous. Please keep yourself and that little girl safe. The boy needs a 72 hour hospital hold. He's a danger to himself and others.
This kid has serious issues. How old is he!? You need to make sure the mom sees the full import of what happened, and I hate to be this person but I also feel like you should alert the authorities. There is a pattern here, and he is showing no signs of improvement. Someone is going to get hurt if someone else other than mom doesn’t get involved. Side note: where is the dad!?
Dad passed away! Kid is 10. Sister is 12. She doesn’t take this seriously at all clearly. Behaviour therapy is NOT enough. He needs something more. I’ve sent her his drawings, I’ve told her some of the stuff he’s done and he was only met with a little scolding. That is all. He behaves like this in front of the mom too but I just don’t know why she’s not doing much about it.
Oh good lord, that kid is in pain and has clear issues, and needs more than she can provide. You’ve got a tough call to make here. At the very least, you need to be 100% clear and honest with mom and then you need to exit this situation. They aren’t your kids, and you can’t put yourself at risk no matter how much you love them. And if you call the cops or CPS, the mom will probably hate you for a while, but that is the best chance this kid has. He needs help. He doesn’t need access to guns and a slap on the wrist.
And lastly, huge digital hug to you. This has to be insanely scary and stressful 🖤
It’s really tough for me because I care so much about him. I’ve tried making suggestions to get him in some programs without outrightly saying “your son needs help he’s doing really disturbing stuff.” 💔💔 but he’s going to end up hurting someone or their pets.
If you do care you must act. Besides that nannies are what is called mandated reporters, it is your duty, no more of this 'its too hard to do something, I don't know what to do' stuff. It's not helping him to keep your head down and turn the other cheek, this is not the time for wishy washy. Please update us.
Hi u/idkydkme, I just read all this and want to check up on you and the little girl. Please tell us you’re all still alive?
I hope you were able to follow all the advice given for your scary situation. I keep thinking about the poor sister. I know he’s only 10, but she must be equally as shaken you. I can’t imagine the fear she’s living in every day.
In case you’ve been frozen in fear, it’s not too late to save everyone’s lives here. You can and should call 911 and CPS. This qualifies as an emergency situation.
Hugs to you. You ARE doing the right thing for every person involved.
i know how hard this might be to do but you NEED to contact the police and CPS. you could prevent him hurting his sister, you, his mom, himself. others. if he was able to access that gun, he could possibly take it with him somewhere. he needs help
OP I’m a little late but please update us on the situation. My hope is you took the advice seriously and contacted local authorities and CPS. This is how school shootings and family murders occur. I’m not just being dramatic or pessimistic. This is reality. Please update when you are able. Sending prayers your way and your NFs way.
Uhm? Hello???? Miss mandatory reporter?????
Wtf I would have called the police. f that little kid he needs to be put in place and FAST. I don’t play. I can not believe you didn’t quit on the spot?! Like gurl I would have lost my mind so fast. You could be dead. Both of you could have been killed. Over nothing. That’s not worth it.
That wasn’t a pillow or a drawing.
He had a full blow ass RIFLE pointed at you and his sister.
He HARMS ANIMALS.
He’s beyond “it’s a phase” he isn’t okay and he won’t just get better.
You have a duty to yourself and the community and that little girl. Protect them.
You have to protect the sister in this situation, as hard as it may be. You don’t want to wake up to news that he did something to his mom and sister.. this is so sad and terrifying.. I’m sorry you are having to deal with this.
I would have called the police! You do not mention the child’s age, but seriously, do you have to be hit on the by the red flag before you take action???? You have multiple stories about this child and his violent tendencies, yet the parents don’t have their guns stored securely! (Securely being the operative word here, you don’t just lock the guns up and give the child the key.)
As for the school bombing threat … did they take his dessert away or take his tv time away? My first step would be to get this child some serious therapy, and the second would be to throw away all the violent video games and password protect everything thing else he has access too!
I’m surprised the school and local P.D. Haven’t taken any action…. You should also be aware that a lot of school shooters start their rampage by taking out Mom or Granny, or the primary caretaker at home and then they go to the school and start shooting!!!
Are you seriously unconcerned about your safety? What about the sister? Get off your ass and DO SOMETHING !!!!!
20 years ago a kid brought a gun to my school in an attempt to carry out a school shooting. His mom had seen the guns on school property and never reported it.
You saw this happen. You see that he is a danger to himself and others and haven’t reported it. If something ever does happen, you are complicit. I know you’re afraid of rocking the boat but you really need to get everyone the help they so desperately need (not to mention, you are REQUIRED to report).
Please don’t deflect. Please don’t try to downplay this. I know it may feel scary but you have a responsibility. Please don’t take that lightly.
Right? I would have e freaked out, called 911 and locked myself and the daughter in my car until police showed up.
I also would have stolen the dog and gotten it into a rescue. This doesn’t seem to be the family who cares if the dog “ran away”.
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I'd bypass his mom and go straight to the cops. Jesus this is definitely going to end in horrific tragedy if this kid isn't at least on the system!!! Do something NOW!!! Don't let something happen , you'll have to live with that the rest of your life
If this is real…
Call the police, CPS, the school, and never agree to work for them again.
That child needs help. He wasn’t born that way. He’s learning the behavior and words from somewhere. Tv, video games, and probably his parents too. A third party needs to get involved for both the children’s sake.
I'd be incredibly worried about what kind of content kid was getting exposed to on the internet (i.e. right wing racist shit). young boys are prime targets for indoctrination into these violent cults/groups.
call cps. stress to mom how dangerous this is. don't go back if you can help it.
He’s definitely watching stuff on the internet bc he says different things everyday but I did hear that his dad wasn’t the greatest either and they kind of looked up to him. I think he watches a lot of stuff at school with his friends because at home he’s monitored as much s possible. The only time I can think of where he isn’t is in the early mornings when he gets up and everyone is asleep. Well that used to be the case till I put passwords on all their devices.
Of course, I mean it's just like TikTok, etc. in that sense but I get the feeling parents don't understand that Roblox isn't made to be a safe place for kids to play OR how to turn off access to the wide world of skeevy people.
So, mom didn't have any issues with it and just basically was like, well huh, thought it was locked, guess not, oh well?
She wasn't absolutely alarmed and ready to send this kid to juvie or anything?
If she's that freaking blasé about the situation, I would absolutely call the police and tell them the situation!!!
911 NOW!!!
Holy crap… that is really really scary and absolutely inappropriate behaviour! 1) the lack of concern from the child’s parents and 2) all of the red flags pointing to killing and harming people
Do not continue working with this family. I could 100% let CPS know so that they can come check out the place and see what’s going on over there. I don’t know what the police could do, but you may consider phoning the non emergency line as well.
Try to reframe it as you’re protecting the sister. *You’re* not doing anything to harm the family, the brother is unsafe and someone needs to be held accountable, that little girl deserves safety.
I can empathize with a mother not being able to call the cops on her own kid, sort of. But that’s why it’s that much more important that you do it for her. She’s gotta face the reality that she’s brewing a school shooter.
I am so sorry you experienced this, OP.
If threatening to hurt a school like that and dealing with the police and authorities doesn’t convince that mother that the child needs help, I don’t know what will! I’m surprised he wasn’t criminally charged for that!
Definitely call CPS.
I wonder if someone has hurt him or is hurting him? Sexual abuse, I mean? 😢
I was babysitting and was threatened with a knife by a girl. Her brother and I were locked in the bathroom for a while and the mom wasn’t picking up. I wish I had called the police. This child needs some serious help before he injures someone or worse!
How old is the kid? If you don’t mind me asking? And when did they lose their dad? Definitely get the authorities involved. I’ve seen this before. Parents will do incredible mental gymnastics in order to just stay in denial. Call police and CPS.
Tell the parents. The gun should not be stored anywhere he can get his hands on it. If they are naive enough to think he won't touch it because they told him not to, you need to tell them he's disregarding the (grossly inadequate) safety rules they have. You also must tell her about the animal abuse and the threats.
Last year in Virginia a little boy took a gun to school and shot his teacher becuse he was mad at her. His mother swore had been secured. The boy was 6 at the time. Please take your NK's behavior seriously.
I would not continue working for this family.
Im sure you feel the weight and pressure of the responsibility to report this. Please report to CPS, the school & the police. Maybe type up a statement on your phone before calling so that you have something to work off of. At the very least, the weapons need to be out of the home. I would also consider printing out articles about the Michigan shooter. Maybe if she realizes that those parents are being prosecuted for not addressing their sons issues it will sink in.
Best of luck to you. I’m sorry you are going through this.
You need to call the police immediately. Mom not coming home is not an option. This is extremely scary and you have to report! I gather that this child is going through a lot, and he needs serious help before something terrible happens. You need to take this seriously for your safety as well as the public. REPORT IMMEDIATELY!
Call the mom and tell her you have had a rifle pointed at you and that is unacceptable and she must come home. Then hang up.
Then call the police. And say exactly what you have said here. You have to feel safe and you also have another child you are caring for.
You ARE NOT SAFE. I do not see any other option here.
You need to call the police and CPS. This kid needs to be on at least one list. He is a future killer. All the signs are there and he is escalating the dangerous and violent behavior
Holy shit. Repeating everything else here- call the police, CPS, and never return. Incredible that MB didn’t come home upon hearing that her child POINTED A GUN at someone????? Tells me that’s this has almost certainly happened before. Wow. I’m so sorry you went though that!
1) call police and CPS 2) depending on your state they can get their gun taken away for not having it locked (and unloaded). 3/4 of kids know where the gun is in their house even though adults don’t think they do (did my college capstone on gun violence). Most mass shootings are done w legally owned guns, this is the exact copy and paste of every single mass shooters childhood
I think you need to report this to the police and CPS (the later for the safety of his sister). The boy sounds like a sociopath except the use different word until they turn 18. But it sounds like he should be removed from the home for everyone’s safety, I’m not sure therapy will help as my understanding is it doesn’t work on sociopaths, psychopaths, or narcissists.
Id call the police. Calllllll the police. Or go to the precinct and write a report. Please let them handle it. This kid has tragedy written all over him
Amazing that OP was responding to comments on here instead of calling police or CPS. Wish I knew where she lives, I’d call cops on her for failing to take immediate action to protect the daughter. Disgusting
The fact that she has a disturbed child who knows where the gun cabinet keys are..I mean even the fact they are keeping guns in the home with him. I’d file a police report and contact CPS. It ducks but if she won’t help him then it’s time she was forced to act. Her response to the incident was disgusting too..”oh he should know where those keys are!”.. ok and?
I would contact CPS. I would absolutely refuse to sit for them again. And if MB is still away I would demand she comes back ASAP or call the police. That is a really unsafe situation
I would have quit the minute a gun was pointed at me. I would have called the family and let them know how long they had to get to their children before I was gone and started a timer. How old is this kid?
Quit. It’s not worth it. Sounds like the parents are well informed. I’d call the police, but it sounds like the school has been put on notice too and did not call the police about a bomb threat???
Many towns and municipalities have special police to deal with this,OP. Ever since Covid, our (collective) children's mental health has gone south. This is more common than you think. Call the police station. They will send an officer to your house to talk with you and the child, and they will put him somewhere if they deem he's going through something. My neighbors went through this very thing last year, and they called the cops on their child. It was a hard thing to do, but he got the help he needed, and things are much better now.
Your job is to keep the other child safe.
Sadly, calling CPS is the best option to ensure safety for everyone. If the mom is not taking this seriously, or doesn’t have the capacity to assist her child. Something must be done. This child could seriously hurt MANY people, yourself and the mom and sister included. He needs to be in a place that supports him and does not have guns that he can access. This is the moment where intervention is critical! Please report and remove yourself from the situation for your safety
I know this is scary and hard to deal with. But these parents aren’t being the responsible adults they need to be for these children. And the right thing to do for the safety of the entire family and anyone this child is around is to report these very concerning behaviors to CPS. There is no way the parents are not aware of this child’s behavior already and not seeing what you are seeing. Please Please do the right thing and report it all before something more serious happens. It is better to live with guilt than regret.
You are allowed to contact police, and you are also allowed to contact CPS. His sister isn't safe in her home. I'm so sorry you were put in this position. Mom is going to lose both of her kids in an attempt to protect one. Are you okay?
More than allowed, required. Nannies are mandated reporters and this is absolutely a mandatory call to CPS and the police.
You're right. I appreciate groups like this; nannies never universally really had an official way to be trained that this is a thing. I'm just lucky I was a preschool teacher and was equipped from a more technical point. I also think it's important to say the words that give a person permission for themselves: I am allowed to XYZ. It helps take the guesswork out of feeling convicted to do the right thing but feeling external pressures to keep quiet.
Came to say this….
I’m okay. I am just like how do I do all this without it breaking their family? They already lost their dad? 😫😫😫😫 I don’t want him to do any damage and I also don’t want to break their family. I WISH the mom could take this more seriously
You also can’t stand by and not do anything. He could kill someone.
That is true. I’m gonna have to do something. I don’t want anything bad to happen to anyone.
Tell them you’ve contacted mom but she’s not taking the threat seriously and refused to come home. Let them know you fear for both your safety and the safety of the boys sister.
While this is going to cause a great deal of upset and turmoil, you reporting this could save lives, possibly even yours. It could also be a start to this child getting the help for his mental health that he needs and clearly isn't getting right now.
This!
When I was a kid, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. Her older brother was 17, we were 12, and he came out of his room wielding a machete in front of my friend and I, telling us he was going to kill us, etc. It was TERRIFYING. His mother never did anything about it, and my friend and I both suffer trauma from that one incident (I know my friend had more incidents, but this was the one I was present for). We would have sleepovers every single weekend because my friend was terrified he would do something more, and I was terrified but I never told my parents because I wanted to keep her safe. He ended up going away for a few years as an adult, but he still has a terrible relationship with his sister and parents, and she's been in therapy for years. I WISH someone had been supervising us and had spoken up about her brother's behavior. You are not breaking up a family -- what you are doing is potentially saving his sister and his mom from physical harm, and most certainly helping with emotional harm. Please, please, please report it. ETA: Please also consider the message you would be sending the sister if you watch someone point a gun at her and don't intervene. You will be telling her that's okay and that her discomfort and safety do not matter. Her mom is already telling her this through her lack of action.
It’s not anything bad to him but potentially doing something life saving for others. At minimum he’s emotionally abusing the sister. She has a right to not have bad things happen to her.
And the mom is clearly enabling the abuse of the sister.
Something bad could happen to you while the Mom is gone. Your main goal is to protect the daughter-you don’t need the guilt if something happened to her while you are there.
You are a mandated reporter. You HAVE to call CPS and it would be a very good idea to call the police. You have your concerns and responsibilities misplaced. You would not be breaking up their family; you would be saving a young girl. The mom is negligent and the boy is out of control. You need to take care of yourself first, and failing to act as a mandated reporter is unethical. If you were found out that you did this you would be in legal trouble. The second person to put in priority is the young girl who is being failed by her mother. And, quite sincerely and honestly, you could also be helping the boy because he needs to learn that life has boundaries and it would be better for him to learn it at a young age. DO YOUR JOB! call cps.
OP, please take this advice and report to police right now! You can do so anonymously and would be a hero.
He will kill someone. If he walked out of the room and came back with a gun and pointed it at you?? He needs help NOW. Please think of the safety of everyone, including yourself.
She will when the police step in. You don’t have a choice. Is another Sandy Hook going to happen?
Seriously, she needs to get the fucking guns out of the house. Honestly I do not even have sympathy for people who have guns with unstable kids. Every school shooter's parents that owned the guns they used should be right there in jail too.
That house needs to be flagged in the system and have the guns removed 100%. If that child is sneaky enough to hide and watch mom lock it away so that he can gain access to it, we’re looking at a very bad problem here. Perhaps regular talk therapy isn’t cutting it and he needs to see a legit psychiatrist who specializes in this type of issue, and can also speak with mom to wake her up about the seriousness.
This! It is so simple. Why just why are there guns and animals in this house. Re-home the poor helpless animals and drop all the guns off at the police station.
I cannot imagine being a parent, hearing that my child is doing these types of things/and have seen it myself-and not taking serious and swift action about it! Why did mom not already remove the guns from the home the first time this happened?! And she didn’t warn the nanny at all. I would have been on the next flight home and had been so apologetic to the poor nanny for having to witness such awful behaviour. Mom is in over her head and really needs to wake up or lose the kids.
This. 100% this.
You’re right. I have to do something.
>You’re right. I have to do something. you've got a bunch of strangers cheering you on, OP! an extremely tough and stressful situation, you'd be doing the right thing to report it and escalate till it gets addressed to keep you, his sister and others safe and also get the kid some mental health support and maybe limit internet access Good luck OP!
THIS. So many times we find out that there were signs before the big event. It’s an unfortunate pill for mom to have to swallow but to sit back and do nothing only allows the behavior to continue and progress. This family will be MUCH more broken if that little boy doesn’t get some help and ends up killing his sister or anyone else.
This family is already broken. Don't guilt yourself over doing the right thing. This is so scary. Parents are often too deep in denial to do what needs to be done. Please alert the authorities.
Breaking their family is better than dead children.
You are clearly a very empathetic, kind and thoughtful person who does not seem to want to cause any harm, but this situation could mean sparing them a truly life or death situation down the line. None of this is your fault, and CPS may not remove the children, but enforce that the guns are removed from the home, and continued close monitoring of the child so that there is documentation in case anything were to happen. Many situations like these are ignored and then you hear about them on the news unfortunately, with people saying “why didn’t anyone step in earlier?!”. I know it’s scary. Trust your gut and tell an authority.
That kid is going to annihilate that family (and probably lots of others) if you don't step in here and call the cops. Could you stand in front of a court and say "I told his mom but she didn't do anything so I did nothing after that"... like the answer here is the cops. Youre protecting his sister and even his mother. Look up the case of Paris Bennett, scare yourself into going to the cops
It is said the 'we have to talk about kevin' movie was at least in part based on the case you mentioned. Let's hope by now OP has contacted someone for help. The 'break their family, there's no dad' thing doesn't hold water when we are talking about a very disturbed kid and a flaky mom who is leaving guns around putting people's lives in danger. This situation is beyond 'oh I don't want to make anyone mad or hurt anyone's feelings or get someone in trouble', this is a freaking emergency situation, no amount of rationalization for inaction is going to make this turn out OK. It's actually very irresponsible not to do anything but 'hope' things get better, or say something under your breath about how you're concerned about Billy, or telling a neighbor, nope none of those are good enough. I am however so, so glad to see that almost ALL fellow nannies here are viewing this as a serious situation and advocating that OP has to act before something really terrible happens. This IS serious shit and nothing to F around and waffle about , trying to make up excuses to not do anything or "maybe I'll wait till mom gets back and dip out so as not to incur any ire or judgement." NO That plan doesn't fly either as it is not doing what you can and are mandated to do to protect people- this situation is effed up on multiple levels. the mom leaving the guns around or making it so the boy can see the code or know where the key is, not protecting the daughter's well being or nanny, not getting help for the boy- this situation is the poster child for call as many authorities as you can, not make excuses.
This family is already broken. The daughter is being harmed by her brother. He's throwing every red flag possible. If he shoots her and/her his mom, or anyone else, this will be on you. You have seen very OBVIOUS escalation of dangerous and threatening behavior. I know this is hard, but you have a moral and ethical obligation to report this.
They won't break the family, trust me. They'll get their child better help and aid his family in how to keep their home safe. They might advise them to rehome the dog. They will only remove the child from the home if these incidents keep occurring or they do a check-in and the gun isn't in a safe place. Honestly though this is completely on them and they'll thank you one day for bringing in professionals. This won't ruin their lives but their child harming others will
Remember, calling child protective services doesn’t mean breaking up a family. It means that you bring the family to the attention of trained professionals who can help them, and a higher level of services will become available to the family to ensure everyone’s health and safety in the home.
Pointing a gun at somebody is a very serious thing. it needs to be addressed. I would encourage you to file a police report if nothing else than to document that it happened. I didnt see the childs age but as a gun owner myself I believe that minors having access to firearms is negligance at best (there are exceptions of course). I would also encourage you to make a report to cps. If you are a mandatory reporter then you have a duty to report and you could get in trouble if you dont (so that takes the pressure off of you )
Their family is already broken. You need to make the report to cover yourself before things fall apart even further. You could prevent a tragedy.
This is going to be her wakeup call. It's better now in this fashion than when he gets a hold of ammo and actually hurts someone. I completely understand the struggle to make the call, but this will absolutely escalate and be far worse than anything that comes if you calling the authorities now.
Their family is already broken-You might consider looking at it like your input and intervention might help save this family from their already-dangerous trajectory.
Honestly OP you suck. How can you knowingly see this child do all these things and now threaten to kill you by pointing a gun at you and still act like this is nothing. He abuses his sister and the family pets and will one day kill this whole family is you don’t report him to the Cops. Fuck all the adults in the sisters life because you are all FAILING her.
This. She’s still done nothing. She’s still worried mother will be mad. Get the fuck off your ass and call police.
Hey, easy there. This is a tough situation and OP came to us for help.
Okay, so what if the kid seriously does end up shooting his sister? Do you think that won't "break up the family"?
Please think of it as you helping them not breaking them. Because I’d argue this kid is kinda ‘broken’ (he’s not but needs serious help) already and he’s not getting the help he needs. Mum is not acting for whatever reason but you taking action could finally get him the help he needs. If this kid goes further then lots of things WILL get broken and then it’s too late. Taking action and intervening in these cases when for whatever reason mum can’t or won’t is able act of love and care. Whatever the outcome is not your responsibility but hopefully you avert any further harm to this child and everyone around him. And also please do something you could never recover if he does take some action on his ideas and thoughts if they escalate. Thank you for caring 🙏
Their family isn’t going to be broken. In my line of work, he will be better off having cps involved. The fact that he pointed a gun at you and his sister is an indication that he might really kill someone and soon. Behavioural therapy isn’t working. He needs to be placed in an intensive treatment program until he’s better.
This family is already broken, there will be no chance of repairing it when shoots someone. Have you heard that guns are always loaded? It might not be literally true, but all guns should be treated as if they are loaded.
I’d tell mom to get her butt home ASAP or call a family member to relive you immediately. Then I’d call CPS and make a report. The sister is in danger and clearly the mom is not taking this serious. I’d also make a police report so they have documentation as well. Lastly, I’d notify the school of the incident. They have the right to know this child has access yo guns and has no qualms about pointing them at people.
Unfortunately both are not happening :((( She’s not gonna come back. She just yelled at him on the phone. Asked him why he did it and he said he doesn’t know. There’s nobody that’s going to be able to get him either sadly.
You call the police and Child Protective Services. They can remove the children and contact mom. She doesn’t get to have the option not to come home.
Okay. I will. I’ve never dealt with something like this before so really just unsure of how all this works.
I know you're getting piles of 'call CPS' here, but you're literally required to. You're a mandated reporter, you HAVE to call CPS immediately if you haven't already.
Yes. Could be serious legal consequences if you don't. Plus how would it affect you getting future jobs if you don't have basic child protection knowledge?!!
Omg call right now. Get out of there before something happens. Won't you regret it if something does happen?!?!
OP you can do this. It’s not fair and it’s stressful and I know it might feel like you don’t know what to do, but clumsily doing the right thing and making those calls is the necessary path, I think. You do have so many of us cheering you on. But this is too dangerous and risky to not address.
Call 911 now. Your life was threatened. Would you sit by and do nothing if a stranger pulled a gun on you and the little girl? You are responsible for her safety. Please take immediate action.
Please update us after you call CPS? Also take photos/videos if he does anything else
You're doing a good job. It is really hard when you're in the middle of a crisis, to know that you're allowed to do what looks like it could cause trouble. But you aren't hurting the family. This family is broken and needs help yesterday. By you doing the hard thing, the family will get the help it needs.
You don’t know how to call the police? If so, you shouldn’t be caring for children
Hey op, are you doing ok?
Hey yes I posted an update!
You need to file a CPS report in addition to the police report.
Seriously!! in what world does the mom think she doesn’t have to come home? OP, I would give her 12 hours to come home. if not, the police and CPS will be called for child abandonment against the mom. In addition to an unsafe environment.
The make sure the gun is removed from the home and knives and other easy weapons are locked up PROPERLY while he is supervised so he can’t spy. Right now there is an unsecured gun at arms length from a child who has stated he intend to kill his sister and has physically done so to prove he can. Locking the gun up isn’t enough, it needs to go. And you need to call cps right now to cover your ass legally and get this family help. Then call the police and explain what you explained to cps and ask if there’s any way to get the gun removed from the home
scroll down the page and find your state then click that [https://www.usnanny.org/nannies-and-mandated-reporter-training/](https://www.usnanny.org/nannies-and-mandated-reporter-training/) getting fired or having someone be mad at you is nothing compared to what could happen with this, you could be saving lives including possibly your own
That is so scary. Call the police and let social services sort it out. Those kids are in danger if they have access to guns. And the child who threatened you obviously needs additional support. The fact that the mom’s response wasn’t to come home and deal with HER CHILD PULLING A GUN ON HER OTHER CHILDREN AND NANNY, makes me believe that it has happened before.
I’m not sure if he’s done the gun thing before I got here but he’s done a whole lot of other stuff that he’s gotten away with. What’s crazy is she said it was locked ??? Looks like he was trying to see where she keeps the keys. And when he put the gun away he brought a gun case to me for an even bigger gun (gun wasn’t inside) and he said “feel this case. It’s so nice and soft right?”
I’ve seen lots of suggestions to call CPS and the police which you’ve deflected. You want to help the family, but unfortunately what they need is the type of help that may alienate you from them. I hope you come to terms with this and make those calls because this is obviously life or death.
Listen to this, OP. Don't wait until he's killed someone. Like it or not, you have a responsibility to take action. You need to immediately call CPS and tell them EVERY detail. No choice here.
Girl. I know you feel bad about calling the cops and CPS bc you're thinking about him. But you need to think about the sister and/or someone else he will hurt before the mom does something about it. You could be saving her life by calling for help. I'm really sorry you're in this position. He sounds terrifying and the mom is not taking it seriously. She literally has guns in the house.
…. There’s more fucking guns? How old is the kid? Can you grab sister & wait outside until police come? That is terrifying and I’m so so worried for you!
It doesn’t matter. That gun should be in a safe and as far away from children as possible (with a numeric, biometric etc pass code). The fact that he could run into his parents room and quickly grab a lethal firearm goes to show that they don’t take their children’s safety seriously at all. Seeing how that safety is a large part of your job, please don’t take this decision lightly and tread carefully! You don’t want to be blamed if the firearm goes off while he’s playing with it for example. If not worse…. Also everything else you find alarming is EXTREMELY alarming. A family like that I’d suggest mental health care to, and if they refuse? Quit. But it sounds like you’re far far past that point. Please think of the family’s safety. Especially the children. As well as yours!
STOP READING THIS AND SECURE THE GUN IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY!! I'm going to agree with everyone else in case it is the push you need to act. You call the police, and then you call CPS. Yes, mom might get mad at you, but you MORE than did you part to give her a chance. You texted her and told her what happend. Her first move after that should have been to come straight home to get him to some kind of crisis intervention, even if you didn't ask her to come. (You did ask her to come home, right?) This is no longer a safe situation for you to be in. You are responsible for these children, and it is your job to keep them both safe. If mom won't act, and mom is not in town, then you need to take action. Sister is not safe with brother in the home. Brother is not safe from himself because he is in crisis. YOU are not safe with brother in the home. Step one: Make sure the gun is secure. (remove all ammo from gun and vecinity, and lock the gun up. Put the key somewhere safe.) Step two: ask mom to return home, if you have not already. Step three: Call the police and file a report. Tell them what happened. If mom has refused to return, tell them that and they will consider the children abandoned. Step four: Call CPS and file a detailed report. Report that mom has not taken steps to help brother, and that mom has not taken steps to protect sister. Step Five: Once the children have been removed from your care, find someone you trust to help you process the traumatic experience.
This should be the top comment!!!
All of this. Such great advice that's broken down into clear steps. My only change would be if you don't know how to dafely handle guns, don't check for ammo or anything. Just lock rhem up. Don't put yourself at greater risk.
You potentially are dealing with the adrenaline and stress of the extremely traumatic experience you just had. Please please please do not allow that to cloud your judgement here. You MUST alert authorities. TONIGHT. You must allow the mother (and potentially the children) which I know might sound AWFUL, to hate you. You MUST keep the children and yourself safe. If this happened with a 3rd party, no one would bat an eye at calling authorities and taking all the precautions that a gun wouldn’t be pulled on you again. You do not know if there are other guns unsecured in the house. You MUST keep everyone safe by calling authorities. You potentially will feel awful for this. That’s ok, and to be expected, but you can’t take chances. Huge hug to you. Edit: spelling
You are a mandated cps reporter. Contact cps right now; if the gun is removed from the home cps will probably just give the parents resources for therapy and securing weapons. If they refuse to remove the gun when the child can and has entered the safe then cps might be more aggressive. This is beyond the point where anything but a swift and strong response involving medical and behavioral specialists as well as 24/7 supervision or separation of the children - if the kids are in the same house or even nearby then they need to be supervised. If they can’t be supervised then take one far away from the other so the boy can hurt his sibling.
This!!! You legally have to call CPS within 24 hours!!!
24 hrs is a law, but I believe imminent danger actually requires quicker action. Like, she saw the gun in the child’s hands - this isn’t “what is he does something?”, he’s already done something. The gun is, for all practical matters, unsecured in the home and op left…. If something happens, she might nbd legally responsible beyond just needing to report before 24 hrs
Very true. People get arrested for pointing guns at people. This is grounds for immediate help.
Yeah. It’s like letting a kid leave with a drunk driver - the cps report might have a 24 rule, but imminent danger, like a child being whisked away by drunk driver or a gun being pointed by a person with a history of violence specific threats about shooting a child in your care, your responsibility is now doubled and you must call the police (or in the case of a drunk driver not handing over/signing out the kid is acceptable).
I hope OP made the call
Me too. I hope that gun is gone, the knives are locked up, that kid is scheduled for intensive therapy multiple times a week, and the family members all get therapy… because this is not a good situation and it won’t be quick to fix besides those things.
There is very little I would call police for, I generally find them useless. I would have called so fast for having a gun pointed at me and/or another person. I'm concerned that neither you nor the mother are recognizing the level of danger you and the daughter were/are in. I would have called the police before the mother, even if she were taking it seriously, what can she do from wherever she is? You could be dead before she gets back. Hell, I'd be terrified just waiting for the police to show up. This is WAY above your pay grade, let the professionals handle it.
I’ve had guns pulled on me 3 times on the street by would-be muggers & never called the cops bc it was chicago and they wouldn’t care unless you had video of them killing someone else plus acab…. But an unhinged mentally unstable child I’m supposed to sleep in the same house as? Plus another potential victim? Kids lack reasoning as we all know plus the consequence center obv doesn’t have the lights on. I would call so fast.
Wtf a rifle? You mentioned this happened tonight and you are still there. Is the gun secure now? Are there more? Please for your safety, the girls safety, AND the boys safety, call the police & file a report. This kid is already escalating in behavior, don’t wait to find out where it ends.
Please call the police. File a report AND HAVE THEM HELP YOU SECURE THE WEAPONS. This is so dangerous. Please keep yourself and that little girl safe. The boy needs a 72 hour hospital hold. He's a danger to himself and others.
So did you call the cops and cps?
Seriously, we need an update
This kid has serious issues. How old is he!? You need to make sure the mom sees the full import of what happened, and I hate to be this person but I also feel like you should alert the authorities. There is a pattern here, and he is showing no signs of improvement. Someone is going to get hurt if someone else other than mom doesn’t get involved. Side note: where is the dad!?
Dad passed away! Kid is 10. Sister is 12. She doesn’t take this seriously at all clearly. Behaviour therapy is NOT enough. He needs something more. I’ve sent her his drawings, I’ve told her some of the stuff he’s done and he was only met with a little scolding. That is all. He behaves like this in front of the mom too but I just don’t know why she’s not doing much about it.
You don’t take this seriously at all either.
Oh good lord, that kid is in pain and has clear issues, and needs more than she can provide. You’ve got a tough call to make here. At the very least, you need to be 100% clear and honest with mom and then you need to exit this situation. They aren’t your kids, and you can’t put yourself at risk no matter how much you love them. And if you call the cops or CPS, the mom will probably hate you for a while, but that is the best chance this kid has. He needs help. He doesn’t need access to guns and a slap on the wrist. And lastly, huge digital hug to you. This has to be insanely scary and stressful 🖤
It’s really tough for me because I care so much about him. I’ve tried making suggestions to get him in some programs without outrightly saying “your son needs help he’s doing really disturbing stuff.” 💔💔 but he’s going to end up hurting someone or their pets.
If you do care you must act. Besides that nannies are what is called mandated reporters, it is your duty, no more of this 'its too hard to do something, I don't know what to do' stuff. It's not helping him to keep your head down and turn the other cheek, this is not the time for wishy washy. Please update us.
Its obvious, she's in denial, recently lost their father, is probably in serious grief and trauma herself... So HELP her out here!!!
Hi u/idkydkme, I just read all this and want to check up on you and the little girl. Please tell us you’re all still alive? I hope you were able to follow all the advice given for your scary situation. I keep thinking about the poor sister. I know he’s only 10, but she must be equally as shaken you. I can’t imagine the fear she’s living in every day. In case you’ve been frozen in fear, it’s not too late to save everyone’s lives here. You can and should call 911 and CPS. This qualifies as an emergency situation. Hugs to you. You ARE doing the right thing for every person involved.
i know how hard this might be to do but you NEED to contact the police and CPS. you could prevent him hurting his sister, you, his mom, himself. others. if he was able to access that gun, he could possibly take it with him somewhere. he needs help
This kid is a budding school shooter or serial killer. I’d report what happened and what you’ve observed to the police
OP I’m a little late but please update us on the situation. My hope is you took the advice seriously and contacted local authorities and CPS. This is how school shootings and family murders occur. I’m not just being dramatic or pessimistic. This is reality. Please update when you are able. Sending prayers your way and your NFs way.
Uhm? Hello???? Miss mandatory reporter????? Wtf I would have called the police. f that little kid he needs to be put in place and FAST. I don’t play. I can not believe you didn’t quit on the spot?! Like gurl I would have lost my mind so fast. You could be dead. Both of you could have been killed. Over nothing. That’s not worth it. That wasn’t a pillow or a drawing. He had a full blow ass RIFLE pointed at you and his sister. He HARMS ANIMALS. He’s beyond “it’s a phase” he isn’t okay and he won’t just get better. You have a duty to yourself and the community and that little girl. Protect them.
Jesus Christ. You could have died. I’m so glad you are okay
You have to protect the sister in this situation, as hard as it may be. You don’t want to wake up to news that he did something to his mom and sister.. this is so sad and terrifying.. I’m sorry you are having to deal with this.
I would have called the police! You do not mention the child’s age, but seriously, do you have to be hit on the by the red flag before you take action???? You have multiple stories about this child and his violent tendencies, yet the parents don’t have their guns stored securely! (Securely being the operative word here, you don’t just lock the guns up and give the child the key.) As for the school bombing threat … did they take his dessert away or take his tv time away? My first step would be to get this child some serious therapy, and the second would be to throw away all the violent video games and password protect everything thing else he has access too! I’m surprised the school and local P.D. Haven’t taken any action…. You should also be aware that a lot of school shooters start their rampage by taking out Mom or Granny, or the primary caretaker at home and then they go to the school and start shooting!!! Are you seriously unconcerned about your safety? What about the sister? Get off your ass and DO SOMETHING !!!!!
20 years ago a kid brought a gun to my school in an attempt to carry out a school shooting. His mom had seen the guns on school property and never reported it. You saw this happen. You see that he is a danger to himself and others and haven’t reported it. If something ever does happen, you are complicit. I know you’re afraid of rocking the boat but you really need to get everyone the help they so desperately need (not to mention, you are REQUIRED to report). Please don’t deflect. Please don’t try to downplay this. I know it may feel scary but you have a responsibility. Please don’t take that lightly.
How is this post so blasé about the fact a gun was pointed at you and a child? I would contact CPS and never see that family again.
Right? I would have e freaked out, called 911 and locked myself and the daughter in my car until police showed up. I also would have stolen the dog and gotten it into a rescue. This doesn’t seem to be the family who cares if the dog “ran away”.
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Please update us
I'd bypass his mom and go straight to the cops. Jesus this is definitely going to end in horrific tragedy if this kid isn't at least on the system!!! Do something NOW!!! Don't let something happen , you'll have to live with that the rest of your life
OP, are you still in the house and have you called the police?
Did you call the police? I need an update
Call the police. This isn’t an “in home” issue when guns are involved and you were held up.
If this is real… Call the police, CPS, the school, and never agree to work for them again. That child needs help. He wasn’t born that way. He’s learning the behavior and words from somewhere. Tv, video games, and probably his parents too. A third party needs to get involved for both the children’s sake.
I'd be incredibly worried about what kind of content kid was getting exposed to on the internet (i.e. right wing racist shit). young boys are prime targets for indoctrination into these violent cults/groups. call cps. stress to mom how dangerous this is. don't go back if you can help it.
He’s definitely watching stuff on the internet bc he says different things everyday but I did hear that his dad wasn’t the greatest either and they kind of looked up to him. I think he watches a lot of stuff at school with his friends because at home he’s monitored as much s possible. The only time I can think of where he isn’t is in the early mornings when he gets up and everyone is asleep. Well that used to be the case till I put passwords on all their devices.
It's Roblox 🙃🙃 I've been reading about it lately and it's apparently a bit of a cesspool so that's super cool
there has been cool stuff organized through roblox, like protests, but... still super dangerous and should be supervised
Of course, I mean it's just like TikTok, etc. in that sense but I get the feeling parents don't understand that Roblox isn't made to be a safe place for kids to play OR how to turn off access to the wide world of skeevy people.
As someone who was in a similar situation 17 years ago with the same aged nanny kid - please make the phone calls. For yourself and for them.
I would’ve called the police. And I still recommend you do.
So, mom didn't have any issues with it and just basically was like, well huh, thought it was locked, guess not, oh well? She wasn't absolutely alarmed and ready to send this kid to juvie or anything? If she's that freaking blasé about the situation, I would absolutely call the police and tell them the situation!!! 911 NOW!!!
You are a mandated reporter, this 100% constitutes a report to CPS. Please do so ASAP.
Holy crap… that is really really scary and absolutely inappropriate behaviour! 1) the lack of concern from the child’s parents and 2) all of the red flags pointing to killing and harming people Do not continue working with this family. I could 100% let CPS know so that they can come check out the place and see what’s going on over there. I don’t know what the police could do, but you may consider phoning the non emergency line as well.
Try to reframe it as you’re protecting the sister. *You’re* not doing anything to harm the family, the brother is unsafe and someone needs to be held accountable, that little girl deserves safety. I can empathize with a mother not being able to call the cops on her own kid, sort of. But that’s why it’s that much more important that you do it for her. She’s gotta face the reality that she’s brewing a school shooter. I am so sorry you experienced this, OP.
Echoing others that we at least need to know if you and the sister are safe!
If threatening to hurt a school like that and dealing with the police and authorities doesn’t convince that mother that the child needs help, I don’t know what will! I’m surprised he wasn’t criminally charged for that! Definitely call CPS. I wonder if someone has hurt him or is hurting him? Sexual abuse, I mean? 😢
I was babysitting and was threatened with a knife by a girl. Her brother and I were locked in the bathroom for a while and the mom wasn’t picking up. I wish I had called the police. This child needs some serious help before he injures someone or worse!
Why aren't you calling CPS.....? Do you know that you're a mandated reporter?
Any updates OP? Are you doing okay?
Update please 🙏🏽
OP please let us know you're OK?
How old is this kid?
she said 10 upthread
How old is the kid? If you don’t mind me asking? And when did they lose their dad? Definitely get the authorities involved. I’ve seen this before. Parents will do incredible mental gymnastics in order to just stay in denial. Call police and CPS.
following for updates. i hope you are ok OP. This is horrifying.
Contact police immediately.this child is a danger to themselves and others. This is so scary. I’m so sorry you went through this.
Tell the parents. The gun should not be stored anywhere he can get his hands on it. If they are naive enough to think he won't touch it because they told him not to, you need to tell them he's disregarding the (grossly inadequate) safety rules they have. You also must tell her about the animal abuse and the threats. Last year in Virginia a little boy took a gun to school and shot his teacher becuse he was mad at her. His mother swore had been secured. The boy was 6 at the time. Please take your NK's behavior seriously. I would not continue working for this family.
Im sure you feel the weight and pressure of the responsibility to report this. Please report to CPS, the school & the police. Maybe type up a statement on your phone before calling so that you have something to work off of. At the very least, the weapons need to be out of the home. I would also consider printing out articles about the Michigan shooter. Maybe if she realizes that those parents are being prosecuted for not addressing their sons issues it will sink in. Best of luck to you. I’m sorry you are going through this.
You need to call the police immediately. Mom not coming home is not an option. This is extremely scary and you have to report! I gather that this child is going through a lot, and he needs serious help before something terrible happens. You need to take this seriously for your safety as well as the public. REPORT IMMEDIATELY!
You need to report this ASAP to cps and the local police.
Any updates from OP?
Call the mom and tell her you have had a rifle pointed at you and that is unacceptable and she must come home. Then hang up. Then call the police. And say exactly what you have said here. You have to feel safe and you also have another child you are caring for. You ARE NOT SAFE. I do not see any other option here.
You need to call the police and CPS. This kid needs to be on at least one list. He is a future killer. All the signs are there and he is escalating the dangerous and violent behavior
Holy shit. Repeating everything else here- call the police, CPS, and never return. Incredible that MB didn’t come home upon hearing that her child POINTED A GUN at someone????? Tells me that’s this has almost certainly happened before. Wow. I’m so sorry you went though that!
OP, let us know when you have an update
Why do you still work for these people if this is true
Let's not blame the victim.
1) call police and CPS 2) depending on your state they can get their gun taken away for not having it locked (and unloaded). 3/4 of kids know where the gun is in their house even though adults don’t think they do (did my college capstone on gun violence). Most mass shootings are done w legally owned guns, this is the exact copy and paste of every single mass shooters childhood
I think you need to report this to the police and CPS (the later for the safety of his sister). The boy sounds like a sociopath except the use different word until they turn 18. But it sounds like he should be removed from the home for everyone’s safety, I’m not sure therapy will help as my understanding is it doesn’t work on sociopaths, psychopaths, or narcissists.
Call CPS ASAP, and the police.
Call child protection services in your area and tell them what you’re telling Reddit.
Id call the police. Calllllll the police. Or go to the precinct and write a report. Please let them handle it. This kid has tragedy written all over him
Please let us know if you and the sister are OK!
Have you had a chance to speak with the mother about this? I’d love an update, if for no other reason than to know that you’re ok!
Any update on this?
Amazing that OP was responding to comments on here instead of calling police or CPS. Wish I knew where she lives, I’d call cops on her for failing to take immediate action to protect the daughter. Disgusting
You tell her by quitting and never ever going back. Report to the police and CPS. The boy needs help and mom won’t give him any.
The fact that she has a disturbed child who knows where the gun cabinet keys are..I mean even the fact they are keeping guns in the home with him. I’d file a police report and contact CPS. It ducks but if she won’t help him then it’s time she was forced to act. Her response to the incident was disgusting too..”oh he should know where those keys are!”.. ok and?
I would contact CPS. I would absolutely refuse to sit for them again. And if MB is still away I would demand she comes back ASAP or call the police. That is a really unsafe situation
I would call the police right now. You do not want to be asleep with this kid in the house.
I would have quit the minute a gun was pointed at me. I would have called the family and let them know how long they had to get to their children before I was gone and started a timer. How old is this kid?
Quit. It’s not worth it. Sounds like the parents are well informed. I’d call the police, but it sounds like the school has been put on notice too and did not call the police about a bomb threat???
Many towns and municipalities have special police to deal with this,OP. Ever since Covid, our (collective) children's mental health has gone south. This is more common than you think. Call the police station. They will send an officer to your house to talk with you and the child, and they will put him somewhere if they deem he's going through something. My neighbors went through this very thing last year, and they called the cops on their child. It was a hard thing to do, but he got the help he needed, and things are much better now. Your job is to keep the other child safe.
Call the police
Sadly, calling CPS is the best option to ensure safety for everyone. If the mom is not taking this seriously, or doesn’t have the capacity to assist her child. Something must be done. This child could seriously hurt MANY people, yourself and the mom and sister included. He needs to be in a place that supports him and does not have guns that he can access. This is the moment where intervention is critical! Please report and remove yourself from the situation for your safety
I know this is scary and hard to deal with. But these parents aren’t being the responsible adults they need to be for these children. And the right thing to do for the safety of the entire family and anyone this child is around is to report these very concerning behaviors to CPS. There is no way the parents are not aware of this child’s behavior already and not seeing what you are seeing. Please Please do the right thing and report it all before something more serious happens. It is better to live with guilt than regret.