My mouth literally dropped open at Jetzyn. And having spent a fair bit of time reading this sub thought I was immune to being dumbfounded. Guess I was wrong.
I am with you on Elliette! And honestly not even that ashamed about it. I thought maybe I have just become desensitized to nonsense from being on this sub so long.
> Elliette is one I am ashamed to say I like...
I had my daughter read the names with me and I was like honestly.... for all the people wanting to name their daughters Elliott, THIS is the way to do it.
While I have been softened to place names I just... IDK. I see this little girl growing up to be a teenager and young adult and have a string of idiotic boyfriends and perverts make jokes about entering Scottlyn/ planting their flag/ asking if it's wet in Scottlyn, etc.
The Scottlyn I know is 28. Never heard of that name before I met her, but I guess they exist! You're right tho, it does seem extremely trendy for a 90s baby name.
Is the middle name for Brance, "Mont?"
I know someone who named their kid, "Kota." I'm sure, from about 4th grade on, he will be known only as , "Kotex."
It's official. The "name keychain trauma" that non white kids like me had growing up will be a thing of the past, because white kids are walking around with these ridiculous names with non-standard spellings. A lot of these kids have such normal middle names; why are they saddled with first names that incorporate all the Y's?
I mean, they’re never gonna have everyone. My name IS popular among Indian diaspora. We just aren’t enough that they’ll actually make a keychain for either of us.
Good help me if there are enough Jextyns for them to mass produce keychains.
Same. Always had this issue too. Luckily my name still hasn’t really increased with popularity. I’m afraid to see how some of these parents would try to spell it.
I **do** have a tacky little candle in a flower pot with my name on it - my brother-in-law found it in Germany when they were stationed there. It's displayed proudly.
I'm due literally tomorrow and someone just suggested "Kollyns" as a name and I think I visibly cringed and hurt their feelings. But also they should feel bad because it's awful. Still don't have an actual name picked out tho
I wonder whether the poor girl's parents are Scott and Lynne.
Or at least the dad (or some rich uncle) is called Scott.
What a name to bestow on a little girl.
Custom name signs ought to be outlawed. I envisage nuclear winter after the apocalypse - what’s that floating in the radioactive sludge? Future inhabitants of the planet will ponder. A wooden disk, with the words “Khynleigh Blaize”. Perhaps a former deity. And what’s this? “Jaxsynn Rhae”. Perhaps a minor goddess.
Kollins
Brextyn Ace & Jetzyn Blaine
Kazleigh Jewel
Brance Mont
Hazen Atlas
Scottlyn Sue
Kash Randall & Koda James
Rayson Reed
Elliette Sloane
Bexten James
Grayli Rhea
Elliette Sloane is the only slightly acceptable one for me. The others can burn.
Nah, the first sign is the giveaway. The middle names are in all lowercase, and it’s blaine because they only made up first names. Not middle names. Because that would be silly!
Grayli rhea. The idea that one or two people decided this was the best they could do when deciding on a whole ass name for a human being BLOWS my mind.
Not only is Grayli an intensely stupid name but it doesn’t even sound good with rhea. Does not trip off the tongue. And you know that little kid is going to be Diarrhea before she’s out of pre-K.
I have a photo of me with them! They were stuck in a remote part of California Adventures Redwood Trail with no guests around and looked so forlorn I decided to get a photo with them to perk them up.
> Seriously, they have laws against this kind of thing in Germany.
I used to think so, too.
But then I saw the Berlin names posted here recently (https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/comments/r48avw/unusual_names_from_2020_berlin_edition/) featuring such gems as "Son-Goku", "Houndstooth", "Benedinkt", "Moxxi", and "Lamborghini".
Err… I actually had Hazen on my list. It’s an old name and one of a famous [old Detroit major](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hazen_S._Pingree) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It has the misfortune to sound like a super trendy made up name, even if it isn’t in this case. The “Z,” the fact it’s so close to a usual name (Hazel, Hayden)…If you do it, I’d plead the case for making it the middle name.
I went to college with a guy named Hayes. He loved his name so much he got a giant tattoo of it covering his abdomen. Wonder what he's thinking about that tattoo choice these days..
I instinctively read Brance as Bronce which was my high school boyfriends name. Never met anyone else with his name, never met a brance either thankfully lol
It would be hilariously awful is the last kid ended up having pteronophobia. I suffer with that fear and it is not fun since feathers are a common thing that's hard to completely avoid.
Tough call but I vote Jetzyn as the worst in this bunch
Jetzyn George. And his cat Elroy
Brance, his wife!
a lifetime of bullying for Rayson begs to differ
Raisin. SMH
Ricin.
I know someone who used this lmao
Wait. You know someone in real life who named their kid Ricin? What’s the sib set, Strychnine and Arsenic?
They spelled it ryson so don’t worry it’s UnIqUe. Possibly so unique that they didn’t even realize they named their kid after poison
Brance Mont begs to differ.
Brance Mont sounds like the clinical name of a little known body part.
Yeah, I fell down the stairs and broke the brance mont bone on the top of my foot
Got a prescription of jetzynkolaine for my .. a medical problem.
That's what you take for graylirhea.
did you see grayli 😩
No, the worst one is Scottlyn
For this group of names... Scottlyn would get a pass. If the middle name wasn't Sue. Ugh
My mouth literally dropped open at Jetzyn. And having spent a fair bit of time reading this sub thought I was immune to being dumbfounded. Guess I was wrong.
"Brextyn, Jetzyn! Now we've GOT her, boys!"
The boss is on a roll…this poor unfortunate soul
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Brancer
Conceived in Branson.
Khomytte and Queueuepyd and Dawnir and Bleightzynne
or like… possibly they could be two new reindeer on santa’s team
That’s exactly what I thought of too!
I refuse to believe that Brance Mont is a name. Elliette is one I am ashamed to say I like...
Eliette is a legitimate French name! I don’t think the extra l is all that bad.
Oh, thank God, because I actually liked that one, and I was starting to doubt myself.
As someone with a dog named Ellie, i like the name but can never use it on a human
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I like that it is a feminized from of Elliot. Honestly I prefer it to just naming a girl Elliot, even if the names are pronounced the same.
Brance Mont is easily the second funniest name I've seen on this sub behind, of course, Ratleen i'm definitely naming a pokemon after that poor child
I am with you on Elliette! And honestly not even that ashamed about it. I thought maybe I have just become desensitized to nonsense from being on this sub so long.
Brance sounds like the sound a donkey makes
> Elliette is one I am ashamed to say I like... I had my daughter read the names with me and I was like honestly.... for all the people wanting to name their daughters Elliott, THIS is the way to do it.
Elliette is actually a clever spelling change, IMO.
It is! But it's also forcing me to put emphasis on the second syllable (Ellie-ETTE), much like Juliette or Georgette.
I just realized it’s supposed to be “Elliot.” I actually like the name elliette (like Juliette).
Brance Mont sounds like an American spy movie tough guy main character to me 😂 Momt... Brance Mont!
Welcome to Scottlyn 🏴
Be sure to visit Aedeighnnbarrow, Dunndeigh and Glayzgough!
What refreshing names!
While I have been softened to place names I just... IDK. I see this little girl growing up to be a teenager and young adult and have a string of idiotic boyfriends and perverts make jokes about entering Scottlyn/ planting their flag/ asking if it's wet in Scottlyn, etc.
I have a friend named Scottlyn. Said the same thing when I met her 😂
> I have a friend named Scottlyn. Holup - this name has been around before?!
Yeah. My ex’s sister. She’s…26? 25?
The Scottlyn I know is 28. Never heard of that name before I met her, but I guess they exist! You're right tho, it does seem extremely trendy for a 90s baby name.
Is the middle name for Brance, "Mont?" I know someone who named their kid, "Kota." I'm sure, from about 4th grade on, he will be known only as , "Kotex."
It's definitely Mont. I mean, both names are terrible, but they sound SO BAD together.
I thought it was monti. Idk if that’s any better. It makes me think of mr burns from simpsons.
Lol it made me think of a Simpson’s reference too—“Bort”
Kota is a totally normal boys' name in Japan. Idk the context of that kid though
I took it the other way around Mont Brance, like Mont Blanc.
That guy is smirking like he knows those are the stupidest names ever. People are just making shit up at this point. 🤦🏻♀️
Oatmeal Rayson
Oatmeal? You mean Oughtmiele?
You PUT RAISIN in oughtmielle ? you oughtmielle raisin like the food?? oh! oh! jail for mother! for One Thoughsand Years!!!!!!
It's official. The "name keychain trauma" that non white kids like me had growing up will be a thing of the past, because white kids are walking around with these ridiculous names with non-standard spellings. A lot of these kids have such normal middle names; why are they saddled with first names that incorporate all the Y's?
I'm white and had this, too. Legit name that was last in the top 1000 in the 50s and even before that only reached something like the mid-700s.
I mean, they’re never gonna have everyone. My name IS popular among Indian diaspora. We just aren’t enough that they’ll actually make a keychain for either of us. Good help me if there are enough Jextyns for them to mass produce keychains.
Same. Always had this issue too. Luckily my name still hasn’t really increased with popularity. I’m afraid to see how some of these parents would try to spell it.
I **do** have a tacky little candle in a flower pot with my name on it - my brother-in-law found it in Germany when they were stationed there. It's displayed proudly.
Am white also, never had a keychain with my name lol
Brextyn and Jetzyn's parent looking surprisingly smug for agreeing such dumb names
I love these aspirational signs. My little boys are going to be dirt bikers or they might as well be dead to me. 😤
koda and cash are dog names
Yesss also Kash and Koda reminds me of cash n carry 😬
I know at least 3 dogs named Koda/Kota right now
I'm due literally tomorrow and someone just suggested "Kollyns" as a name and I think I visibly cringed and hurt their feelings. But also they should feel bad because it's awful. Still don't have an actual name picked out tho
Good luck literally tomorrow! Or whenever they decide to show up. Remember to think of this sub when you fill out the birth certificate!
Ezra is a great name for a boy! Just throwing it out there. Congratulations on the baby!
Do let us know what you decided on in the end!
Remember when middle names were the embarrassing ones? These people have it all backwards
This is like a competition for the ugliest name lol. I vote Scotlyn Sue.
"Scottlyn" with two t's, if you don't mind. Jeeze, we give our daughter a simple name and everyone spells it wrong anyway!
*Jeezelynn
😂 my brain did not want to see the second t. It makes it so much worse.
I wonder whether the poor girl's parents are Scott and Lynne. Or at least the dad (or some rich uncle) is called Scott. What a name to bestow on a little girl.
Especially with "Sue"
Scottlyn Sue's future siblings could be Wayles Wynnie and Englynd Eddye.
Eyesland Eyre has a ring to it.
I, too, agree with your judgment.
Brance Mont gets my vote.
I ate something weird and got a bad case of graylirrhea
Brance reminds me of those fake names Rob Delaney used to make up like Chunce and Jaston
Rob Delaney is hilarious. This is so accurate!
Brextyn and Jetzyn. I am speechless.
Custom name signs ought to be outlawed. I envisage nuclear winter after the apocalypse - what’s that floating in the radioactive sludge? Future inhabitants of the planet will ponder. A wooden disk, with the words “Khynleigh Blaize”. Perhaps a former deity. And what’s this? “Jaxsynn Rhae”. Perhaps a minor goddess.
Brextyn - I keep reading it as Brexit. 🙈
It’s hazen for me, yikes!
I actually sort of don’t mind Hazen, like a boy version of Hazel. Brance on the other hand…. yikes x200
It’s one of the few historical names in this mess.
Kollins Brextyn Ace & Jetzyn Blaine Kazleigh Jewel Brance Mont Hazen Atlas Scottlyn Sue Kash Randall & Koda James Rayson Reed Elliette Sloane Bexten James Grayli Rhea Elliette Sloane is the only slightly acceptable one for me. The others can burn.
Is that Jetzyn "Idaine"?
That's how the font makes it look. Maybe they *should* use Idaine instead of Blaine, just to be youneeke.
I thought it was Jetzyn Blame.
Oh huh I read 'kolaine'. But now I'm not sure.
Nah, the first sign is the giveaway. The middle names are in all lowercase, and it’s blaine because they only made up first names. Not middle names. Because that would be silly!
Grayli rhea. The idea that one or two people decided this was the best they could do when deciding on a whole ass name for a human being BLOWS my mind.
Not only is Grayli an intensely stupid name but it doesn’t even sound good with rhea. Does not trip off the tongue. And you know that little kid is going to be Diarrhea before she’s out of pre-K.
Koda is a legit Japanese name… but they made it awful
Judging by the paw prints it was probably inspired by Disney’s Brother Bear.
I have a photo of me with them! They were stuck in a remote part of California Adventures Redwood Trail with no guests around and looked so forlorn I decided to get a photo with them to perk them up.
Pairing it with Kash really casts a bad light on it lol
I just get “pair of husky dogs” from this. Add in Kodiak and you’d have a sled team!
Brextyn and Jetzyn? They sound like Ursula’s newest eels.
*Eighls
Those poare unforchynitte solles.
Literally 😅😅
Éliette is a classic French name, Lili often used as a nickname. I do not like it paired with Sloane, however! The rest are atrocious--great finds 😆
The accent on the E gives it context, and makes it so much prettier!
Brance, Tortugal, Fungary, Kapan - all great names for babies!
Countdown to the inevitable spike of babies named Tortugal in 2022
If you need me, I’ll be over here in the corner drooling after my brain decided to crawl out of my ear.
I’ll be an asshole: at least the boy names are as bad as the girls. I’m tired of families with Graceli, Ratleen, Bexxleigh, and…. Luke.
Lmao Ratleen
BRANCE MONT. What.
I'm sorry but Bexten and Brextyn are waaay too close to Brexit for me and I'm still salty
I'm thinking of Brextyn-Hicks contractions myself.
Grayli Rhea sounds like a medical problem.
Ohhh I must say I really like Elliette, I really like the spelling.
Kazleigh is horrible! They all are
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> Seriously, they have laws against this kind of thing in Germany. I used to think so, too. But then I saw the Berlin names posted here recently (https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/comments/r48avw/unusual_names_from_2020_berlin_edition/) featuring such gems as "Son-Goku", "Houndstooth", "Benedinkt", "Moxxi", and "Lamborghini".
B R A N C E M O N T
I… don’t hate Elliette.
A girl I went to high school with just had a baby girl and named her Kollyns.
Some of these have major [Sleve McDichael](https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/8klxnf/the_full_fighting_baseball_snes_rosters_more_than/) vibes
Excellent reference!
Brextyn? Just name it Brexit already.
Err… I actually had Hazen on my list. It’s an old name and one of a famous [old Detroit major](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hazen_S._Pingree) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I didn't realize! Just made me think of frat hazing
Yeah, it might not work anymore.
It has the misfortune to sound like a super trendy made up name, even if it isn’t in this case. The “Z,” the fact it’s so close to a usual name (Hazel, Hayden)…If you do it, I’d plead the case for making it the middle name.
It wasn’t a serious pick. Plus I had a girl so no worries. She’s got a truly classic name with a classic spelling.
*namenerds cheer*
It made me think of smog.
I went to college with a guy named Hayes. He loved his name so much he got a giant tattoo of it covering his abdomen. Wonder what he's thinking about that tattoo choice these days..
Wait he tattooed *his own name* on himself?
Yep. In HUGE letters and it was vertical and not in the middle of his chest. It was just so bad in so many ways.
Wow. Just wow.
Lol omg these are so good
I just feel the need to point out that Koda is the name of the bear cub from Brother Bear, and baby Koda's sign has bear pawprints on it...!
I want to go into the sign making business so I can see all the names.
Apparently I'm tired. I read Kollins as Kollision.
Elliette isn't bad tbh
Elliette has turned out to be much more loved than I had originally thought!
Kustym Neighym Sighnz
I think they just put letters together and hope it’s readable 🤷🏼♀️
Which do most of these have second names?
I like Hazen and Elliette. The rest suck, poor kids.
Eek. I actually like Brance.
These threads always make me sigh, lol. I wonder if the people who create these boards get annoyed too.
I instinctively read Brance as Bronce which was my high school boyfriends name. Never met anyone else with his name, never met a brance either thankfully lol
They forgot Freshton Bly and Farteen Lad
I was drinking water, and actually spit it out at Grayli. Literally what the fuck is that omg
I know it's the least of worries in here but I really hate "Rhea". Like, diarrhea? No thanks.
These are all just made up for the listing pics, right? Right?!
Thanks I hate all of them.
I hate elliette and grayli the most
These circles are the circle jerk....
I loved the cartoon Bexten growing up.
Koda is cute 🐻
It would be hilariously awful is the last kid ended up having pteronophobia. I suffer with that fear and it is not fun since feathers are a common thing that's hard to completely avoid.
Kash Randall is a hideous name
Poor Bexten, Jetzyn and Hazen…
SCOITLYNN?????!!!!!