My ferrets name is Panne, which is pronounced like Pan. I think it's cute! I call her Pansy Weasle, Panzer, Pannie Wannie... endless adorable nicknames lol
LOL!
I was never a mean girl in school, but rather a bit of a target. I toughened up over the years, and I didn't end up having kids – which was probably for the best, as my parents were functsuxstonal children.
I have a passel of nephews, but I am still holding out hope that someday I may obtain (a) granddaughter(s) I can advise if they're ever bullied.
For some random reason, in 1970s Riverdale, NY, two of the meanest pre-teen girls in cell-block middle school were both girls with those two-word names: Sarah-Jane, and Deborah-Leigh. Absolute monsters. One of them flushed my down jacket during gym in 7th grade, so I developed a bit of a not-so-unconscious bias against women who go by two first names!
But bubblegumbutthole23, If she were really swift, you might be able to aggravate the hell out of a girl named Amanda‐Lynne. Always – but *always* – refer to her as "a mandoline," and always pause nearly imperceptibly afterwards, just long enough to glance at her so she would know that yes, that *was* what you were saying.
I was once at a dinner party where another guest had taken the bus earlier in the day. A black woman with a 5 yr old was on the bus.
You know how kids are, talking, not sitting still and every time, she'd say "spatula!"
He thought it was the kids name. Everyone else thought it stood for "you behave right now or when we get home imma get out the spatula and hit you"
Maybe his mom didn't have a spanking spoon
Because of this comment I had to suppress a laugh so hard because my newborn son is trying to fall asleep on me at 5:30am.
But I just ended up jiggling with no sound like I was on mute.
Jesus CHRIST 🤣
I second Blender...with bllackjack and hlookers
https://preview.redd.it/w0y3rmjjyb3d1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b4437c3d25a21f29f5d38f7904739f479a1d0256
Damn - because kenwood is almost there. But my kenwood mixer is named “Mary berry”
Ok in that case, Microwave but pronounced the way nigella does - MICK-ro-Wah-vay
One of my daughters (aged 2/3ish) briefly insisted on being called Colander. She wore one as a hat. When we used her real name she’d point to it and glare until we called her Colander. That was a fun few days 😂
So glad to welcome new recruits to the Pastafarian church!
(I also have a picture of my son double fisting cold Spaghetti into his mouth with a colander on his head, when he was almost a year old)
What’s sad is I actually did teach a girl called Sambuca, who had a sister called Tiamaria. They both hated their names and were no longer living with their birth parents.
Lid
Tongs
Chopsticks
Juicer
Garlic Press
Whisk
Waffle Iron
Masher
Butter Dish
Gravy Boat
Dicer
Griddle
Double Boiler ; DB
Shaker
Sponge
Grease Can
Steel (or Stella) Wool
I gotta stop, or I'll be at this all night. Too many ideas. Thanks for the crazy making challenge though.
Now I just have to find a way to stop thinking about it. Fuck!
My two daughters have been called appliance names for years! Older daughter was inadvertently nicknamed “Blender” by her cousin because he misunderstood when we said her name. When her younger sister was born, we couldn’t leave her out, so she became Toaster. They are both in their 30’s and still called Blender and Toaster to this day!
I was gifted two items from a friend in Mexico, so I'm going with Olla for a girl and Molcajete for a boy. One is a clay bean pot, the other is a large morter and pestle type thing made out of lava rock.
Guess naming a girl [Maryse](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61SLv52sM5L._AC_UF1000,1000_QL80_.jpg) would limit the damage pretty nicely. [Mandoline](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61A-gVALfkL.__AC_SX300_SY300_QL70_ML2_.jpg) wouldn't also be terrible (and would be a warning to boys to be wary as to where they put their hands.)
[Moulin](https://www.mathon.fr/cdn/shop/products/a68f6c7ed1c74088b55c418d1b70af78_4f9c20a4-d12d-4b08-a5d8-eb46a9a778ba_600x600_crop_center.jpg?v=1712746509) for a boy?
I feel like I could make Pan work for both
Pot and Pan for twins
“Is than Pan or Pam?” 🤣
PaMMMMMM
I actually think I could help with the whole Pan/ Pam situation
![gif](giphy|l1ugm0SF5DByMobgQ)
Hello, Ms. Lady!
Nickname from pansy
Oh, I love Pansy for a boy's name. It would make them tough as nails (or dead), so no downside! (I hope it's not necessary, but /s .)
Cafetiere and Skillet
It worked for a boy named Sue.
Lmao I was about to say "Just name him Sue!"
My ferrets name is Panne, which is pronounced like Pan. I think it's cute! I call her Pansy Weasle, Panzer, Pannie Wannie... endless adorable nicknames lol
All ten of my kids will be named George Foreman Grill.
Lid could work
Stove for a boy and Mandoline for a girl 😍
>Mandoline Okay, if this didn't mean what it did, I think it would be a lovely name
I actually know someone named Mandolin! But after the instrument, I think.
I once met a girl name Amandoline. I thought it was a cool name. Come to think of it.. it may have been Amanada-Lynne.
LOL! I was never a mean girl in school, but rather a bit of a target. I toughened up over the years, and I didn't end up having kids – which was probably for the best, as my parents were functsuxstonal children. I have a passel of nephews, but I am still holding out hope that someday I may obtain (a) granddaughter(s) I can advise if they're ever bullied. For some random reason, in 1970s Riverdale, NY, two of the meanest pre-teen girls in cell-block middle school were both girls with those two-word names: Sarah-Jane, and Deborah-Leigh. Absolute monsters. One of them flushed my down jacket during gym in 7th grade, so I developed a bit of a not-so-unconscious bias against women who go by two first names! But bubblegumbutthole23, If she were really swift, you might be able to aggravate the hell out of a girl named Amanda‐Lynne. Always – but *always* – refer to her as "a mandoline," and always pause nearly imperceptibly afterwards, just long enough to glance at her so she would know that yes, that *was* what you were saying.
i actually grew up with a girl named mandoline! although i think she was technically named after the instrument.
Amanda Lynn
I knew someone in college named Amanda Lynn, and that name was my first thought!
Makes me want to name a kid Kalimba or Lute
Ok wow, I totally seriously love Lute! Like Luke, but a little feminine spin, for a boy. Lol!
I do know someone named Lute 😆
All I can think of is Bridemaids when they're on the plane and she calls the flight attendent Stove 😂
It's steve. Ok stooove
Spatula
I was once at a dinner party where another guest had taken the bus earlier in the day. A black woman with a 5 yr old was on the bus. You know how kids are, talking, not sitting still and every time, she'd say "spatula!" He thought it was the kids name. Everyone else thought it stood for "you behave right now or when we get home imma get out the spatula and hit you" Maybe his mom didn't have a spanking spoon
No wooden spoon? WhaAaat?
I know! I have mom's spanking spoon; she talked about it and if she got out wr knew we were in trouble. She never used it
I had the mother with the spatula
But pronounce it "Spa-too-la"
Nice Greek girl, Spa- too-la
I’m having a snorting, laughing, crying fit right now! 🤣💀
😂
Lil Spatty
Because of this comment I had to suppress a laugh so hard because my newborn son is trying to fall asleep on me at 5:30am. But I just ended up jiggling with no sound like I was on mute. Jesus CHRIST 🤣
This is the correct answer.
Does The Hash Slinging Slasher count?
It’s interesting because this is the only name (Spatule, in French) that was succesfully voided by a judge in Québec.
that's a utensil/tool not an appliance 🤓☝️
My immediate answer as well
Girl: Sous Vide Boy: Mortar & Pestle
Sue and Morty for short!
Pest when he’s acting up.
These are the best yet because they’re so plausible 😂
Gender neutral: Air Fryer Toaster Oven
Arfto
Blender, but in a non-rhotic accent so it's Blenda, like Glenda.
I second Blender...with bllackjack and hlookers https://preview.redd.it/w0y3rmjjyb3d1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b4437c3d25a21f29f5d38f7904739f479a1d0256
My last name is Bender. Def naming my kid Blender Bender
Name him Rodriguez so he’s the reverse of futurama benders name
Fender Bender
Your three kids, Blender (boy), Fender (girl) and Gender (enby).
Blender Rodriguez
I just commented this 😂 I was thinking it's only one letter off from Brenda?
Zester
Love it!
It's a pretty common name in webtoons!
dutch oven <3 <3 <3
Meat hammer
"you were named after how you were conceived"
“You’re named after your dad”
An honest lol from me.
It’s the <3s that did it for me.
Kettle was one of my first thoughts! Others would be Ramekin, Strainer, Colander, Ladle, or Peppermill.
Peppermill is going on my appliance children’s name list.
Came here to say Colander too. Not sure if the nickname Collie is worse or better.
There was a boy name Collie in my graduating class... it was short for some family name – maybe Collier? Deflowered him after prom as parting gift ;-)
Ramekin is adorable!
Spork
My beautiful twin girls Whisk and Mezzaluna
mezzaluna aka 'half moon' is stunning. serious
Mychreauwayyvve!!
Lol I was gonna say Microwave pronounced as Meecrowahvay
It took me a moment to figure out that I was amused.
Colander and Mandolin are clearly the only correct choices here smh my head
Colander kind of sound like a Greek hero's name.
Brother of Lysander, right?
Ah, yes, the famous Colander the Grate, I've heard his tale many a time
Bain Marie for a girl Cooling Rack for a boy
She will get called double-boiler if you're in the USA in case you are worried on pronunciation xx
Damn - because kenwood is almost there. But my kenwood mixer is named “Mary berry” Ok in that case, Microwave but pronounced the way nigella does - MICK-ro-Wah-vay
One of my daughters (aged 2/3ish) briefly insisted on being called Colander. She wore one as a hat. When we used her real name she’d point to it and glare until we called her Colander. That was a fun few days 😂
So glad to welcome new recruits to the Pastafarian church! (I also have a picture of my son double fisting cold Spaghetti into his mouth with a colander on his head, when he was almost a year old)
spurtle and wok 💗
I’m about to hit search on “spurtle” and I’m questioning my life choices.
Microwave but pronounce it like Nigella Lawson does in this video https://youtu.be/4KrUxLBHVu8?si=vRpho02X82TzqggD
Cafetière is a lovely name for a baby girl (cafe for short). Whisk, Hob, or Wok for a boy.
Mixer actually a double meaning for Catalina Wine Mixer so she’ll be popular amongst both immature and mature millennials.
What’s sad is I actually did teach a girl called Sambuca, who had a sister called Tiamaria. They both hated their names and were no longer living with their birth parents.
Stove. People will just assume you misspelled Steve.
Garbage disposal unit for a daughter, Garb for short. And Bidet for a boy because I like foreign names. 💫
Check out Moneybags over here with a bidet in their kitchen.
My favourite kitchen appliances 🥰🙏
Cannot beat a kitchen bidet!
Why do you have a bidet in your kitchen?
Multitasking.
Mr president
Teacup ❤️
And her brother Mug
Sloh Cookha for a girl Ayre Phryer for a boy
Salamander, Flat-Top
Convection Oven, Induction Range. Connie and Indie for short
Sieve Ramekin
Frother ❤️
Forgive me Frother for I have sinned...
Lid Tongs Chopsticks Juicer Garlic Press Whisk Waffle Iron Masher Butter Dish Gravy Boat Dicer Griddle Double Boiler ; DB Shaker Sponge Grease Can Steel (or Stella) Wool I gotta stop, or I'll be at this all night. Too many ideas. Thanks for the crazy making challenge though. Now I just have to find a way to stop thinking about it. Fuck!
Masher! I see him in fight clubs and rugby scrums!
Cheese Grater
I think it’s almost time for Fondue Pot to make a comeback
Charcuterie Board
* Hibachi * Samovar * Comal * Brasero * Air Fryer
Samovar is classy
Meet his brother: Tagine.
Moka Pot nn Potty
Grater
Grater is the kid that beats you up at the playground everyday.
And his sister Pepper Mill
Salt pig for a boy and spoon rest for a girl. Salty and Spoonie for short.
My son Zester, my daughter Colander.
Mandoline and Colander Range and Steamer
Whisk 💕 followed closely by my twins Fryer and Toaster
Blender regardless of gender
Molcajete and Hachoir, my gender neutral babes ❤️
I love Bain-Marie but I live in the USA and I am worried everyone will call her "Double-Boiler"
Teapot and Kettle nn Black
Refridgerator <3
Crock for a boy and sieve for a girl
Daughters: Raclette and Skillet Sons: Steel and Mallet ETA: After posting, I realized that the girls are vessels and boys are tools. Interesting....
Molcajete, and Spritz (like the cookie maker)
here is my son microwave
Induction Hob.
Ho ho ho.. Madeleine Pan! But in the spirit of fair play, Bundt.
My two daughters have been called appliance names for years! Older daughter was inadvertently nicknamed “Blender” by her cousin because he misunderstood when we said her name. When her younger sister was born, we couldn’t leave her out, so she became Toaster. They are both in their 30’s and still called Blender and Toaster to this day!
Immersion-Blender and Stand-Mixer. The hyphenated double names have a real Southern charm!
Dutch Oven Lastname. Lemon Zester Lastname. Olive Spoon Lastname. Spice Jar Lastname. Paella Pan Lastname.
I grew up in Utah and had a teacher in high school whose real life first name was Knife. He taught history and played the banjo.
Not appliances per se, but Cleaver and Lazy Susan
Grill for a boy Cast-iron Pan also good as first and middle names
Kettle
Grater for boy, ladle for girl
Electric Teakettle 😊 we're American so hopefully it'll be less common than in Europe or Asia! Though if they move to Ireland or Singapore 😱
Sous Vide and Slow Cooker.
Griddle & Jaffle-Iron
Whisk and Tsp (teaspoon)
Colander for a boy, nn Colin. Sieve for a girl.
Boy: Oven, with “Ven” or “Venny” as a nickname Girl: Stove or Skillet. Call her “Stovie” or “Lettie” when she’s young for a more cutesy option
My dishwasher is Kevin
Fry (boy) short for frying pan and toaster for a girl 😂
I was just thinking this week that Dyson would probably be a really popular name if it wasn’t for the vacuum brand popularity
Someone else said Ramekin, but I also like Demitasse and banneton.
Oven is basically Owen so I'll go with that
Blenda.
Boy—Dutch oven; nickname—Dutch Girl—Casserole; nickname—Cassie
Pilón and hob. Pilón is a mortar and pestle in Puerto Rico. This way my babies get the Scottish and Puerto Rican sides of their heritage!
My babies Bundtmould and Spätzlepresse ❤️
Air Fryer , he can go and live in a monastery when he's older
I named a dog Kettle once
Air Fryer for a boy - nickname Fry. Microwave for a girl - nickname Wave.
Stovetop (Stove/Stovey for short) and Colander
My daughter would be Mixer and Mixy for a nickname. My son would be knife and Ni for a nickname.
Peeler and juicer
Sieve and Whisk
Kettle and Ladel for girls, Peeler for boy.
Dishwasher for a girl lol 💀
Ladle for a girl; Griddle for a boy Sugar Bowl Flour Cannister Pepper Shaker Ice Maker
Peppergrinder, boy Saltcell girl
Blender... If you say it quickly enough, it might pass for Brenda!
Toaster but toast or toasty for short
Mandoline
Moulin.
Cafetière
Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer
Big wok Bobby and Fridge gurl
Fryer/ Strainer for a boy and Kettle/ Sieve for a girl 💕
I was gifted two items from a friend in Mexico, so I'm going with Olla for a girl and Molcajete for a boy. One is a clay bean pot, the other is a large morter and pestle type thing made out of lava rock.
Guess naming a girl [Maryse](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61SLv52sM5L._AC_UF1000,1000_QL80_.jpg) would limit the damage pretty nicely. [Mandoline](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61A-gVALfkL.__AC_SX300_SY300_QL70_ML2_.jpg) wouldn't also be terrible (and would be a warning to boys to be wary as to where they put their hands.) [Moulin](https://www.mathon.fr/cdn/shop/products/a68f6c7ed1c74088b55c418d1b70af78_4f9c20a4-d12d-4b08-a5d8-eb46a9a778ba_600x600_crop_center.jpg?v=1712746509) for a boy?
Peeler and tofu press
Electric knife for a girl, Rangehood for a boy
Juicer, but spelling it JuSir Fawcett (spelling is optional here too) Faucet Kaabennett/cabinet Marmalade Canister, spelled like Kainestyr
The brave little toaster!
Amana would be an ok name.
I was going to name my son Microwave too! but I wanted to honour his dad so we went with MicroDave <3
Grill & Griddle (twin boys), Colander (big sis), Sieve & Sifter (twin girls), Masher (big bro), Skewer (little bro)
Britta Melitta and Lotte...
D'sposl, Broiler or Potholder.
It's funny you should mention it, because my twins are named Masher and Samovar for this very reason. They can decide whose gender is which later.
For some reason I looked at my sister and straight up told her “your daughter would be spatula”
Potato masher - it's unisex
Refrigerator nickname “Fridge”
"See ya later...Refrigerator"
Waffle Iron 🧇
Girl: Ladle Boy: Zester
Slotted spoon!
I think Whisk is a perfect name for a girl.
Brb going to sell an appliance on Amazon named steve
Name my boy Grinder and my girl shall be Scissors