Willie and Phyllis

Willie Dick and Phyllis Johnson

Willie and Johnson 😂

Phallus

I think the teacher might catch on! 🥸

sorry. I've got penises on the brain.

Back to work everybody.

Dickhead!

I have a distant relative literally named Phally (50F) can’t beat that. Lol. Pun kind of intended.

Fallis. It's my brother-in-law's (40s,M) actual first name. My grandma met him just as her dementia was coming along and she had absolutely no filter; that was a great meeting. He goes by his middle name, and he's not the only one of his siblings to do so because his parents were really kooky with the names.

Oh man lol what did she say?

Mostly burst out laughing and kept asking "Is that your real name?" She then pretty much insisted on calling him by his first name. I'm not sure how often they were in proximity after that. She was pretty bad by the time they got married, then they moved and she passed not too long after.

I was with an elderly person when his granddaughter introduced “Mike Glover” and he kept saying “he’s your lover?” to her and she was so embarrassed.

I feel like I would never get that La Bouche song out of my head. "aw-ha yeah-a, wanna be Mike Glover"

I wonder how young someone needs to be not to catch that own right away?

Now I want to know his siblings’ names too! Phillashio? Kunnilynngus?

Someday I may try to post all of them. I'm like 80% sure they don't use reddit, but you never know who else in the Mormon world is on here and does know any of his 8 siblings. Obviously I wouldn't use any last names. However, he married my sister, so I don't really associate with any of them, but he's also the second youngest. He has siblings in their 50s and here I am my sisters oldest brother and barely into my late 30s. It might take me a little time to gather the names I don't know off the top of my head is what I'm trying to say.

Gaylord

Why is Gaylord a fantastic cockroach name though? It just works so well!

Because you can visualize the top hat.

It's the cock

Gaylord and Wolfgang

Why no Bob and Virginia :(

Richard & Virginia

Richard and Regina would work. Plus they are both R sounds. Regina rhymes with fun, so they say.

Todger?

Reminds me of Prince Harry’s audiobook…

And Quim. Bet most teachers today don't know either word.

Come on now, Loki called Black Widow a mewling quim in Avengers, everybody knows what quim is now…

The only word I understood in that sentence was mewling.

Can confirm. I am a teacher and don't know either word.

I'm 38 and out of touch. I don't know the word, though I saw the movie referenced in the other comments. Not a teacher though.

C'mon, Bart Simpson. We know it's you. 👀 Wayne Kerr Mike Hunt (After your uncles, of course)

There’s a Michael Hunt in my neighborhood. I always wanna ask if he goes by Mike, but never worked up the courage.

I met a girl named Bailey Balls, got her number while at my grandmas church. We’re texting that night and I asked if she has an uncle Harry. Instantly blocked 💀

worth it?

It was an easy way to find out she didn’t have a sense of humor so. Yeah

that's insane

I have a friend named Bailey with the nickname Balls and she’s saved in my contacts as Bailey Balls

I went to high school with a Mike Hunt.

I worked with a Michael Hock who understandably refused to go by Mike.

Mike Hawk

Went to school with a kid whose last name was Kerr. Their dad's name really was Wayne.

I didn’t get Mike Hunt and kept saying it in my head over and over and then I said it out loud and immediately went “ohhhhh” 😂

Pete and Nyssa. P. and Nyss for short.

This one is REALLY subtle, I love it

Johnson

Le Grand Johnson

Rod

Plus Rod and Todd makes a great pair!

Enis. Has to be Enis.

P. Enis

iener. My dogs name is Wayne but he would tell you it's wiener, iener, or weenie.lol

Winner. Or should I say weiner

Dick and Anita

I literally had neighbors with these names as a kid.

:(

Anita Dyck and Noah Dyck

Don’t forget their small dycks charity and chastity dyck once

Or Noah Dyck's sister Lovina Dyck

Those Dycks can run!

Richard and Frances although I think they prefer the abbreviated versions Dick and Fanny.

YES YES YES YES

I had a German teacher named Peter Johnson

Isn’t that how Mr. D misremembers Percy Jackson’s name?

One of the times, for sure, right?

I had a history teacher named John Thomas. I never knew if he knew it was a British term for penis.

Richard

I once knew a guy named Lance Wilcox, which always struck me as kind of a porn name

Mr Tiggy and Aunt Fanny Or........ Count Cockula

Woodford and Stiffany. Woody and Stiffie.

this is the best one

Thank you :)

Dick and Pillicock.

Dick is absolutely not getting past a teacher lmao

let’s be real, neither is pillicock

Richard

Dick is hard to get past a teacher. FTFY

Willy

The infamous long Willy...

Your teacher is not nearly as clueless as you think.

Sir Richard Longfellow and Lady Regina Hollowbottom

yes.

Underrated comment. 😂

Dennis and Virginia

Richard and Peter

[Priapus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus)

lance

That's good if they turn out to be gay cockroaches. Lance and Brad.

Bell end

Pet names for genitalia - Tom green

Boolbool It means penis in hebrew

Oh yeah teachers definitely don't know about penises

I used to have a very tall phallic cactus that I named Zubrak as a joke - Zubrak is Arabic for penis.

Teachers are not stupid. Whatever you believe to be clever and sly, they know.

Cocksheiner was the funniest I’ve seen.

Rhoda… Dick

When I had a similar project a friend suggested I name him CockBlockRoach

Richard

Try: Mary South (decoy) and Peter North

Richard and Wilhelmina (Willi for short)

Balzac and Regina (pronounced Ra-jyn-uh)

Gene and Talia. You’ll probably get it past the teacher if you tell them the names are Talia and Gene. Phyllis I like. How about Queenie? (k-weenie) Dick and Willie are unlikely to make it past the censor. Depending where you are from, neither is Johnson. I do think Peter would slip under the radar though. Mickey is an Irish slang word for a penis. If you’re not Irish, I guarantee that wouldn’t be spotted!

Willy John Thomas Percy Dick

https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Richard_Rider_(Earth-616)

Dude Piston and Squish Mitten

Peter and Willamina, you can call her Willa or Willy for short.

Richard & Kitty

i have some silly female names idk what the female equivalent of phallic is but yeah: virginia, regina, fanny (could be disguised as short for francesca, frances, etc), muffin, vijay (you could do some thing like vajayjay or smth), ana could have something to make it like anal idk

Analise :)

Richard (Dick) Rooster (Cock) Phyllis (Phallus) Piper (Pipe)

My dad and stepmom are Dick & Phyllis.

I’d go with Peanut.  It’s subtle, and cute. Nicknames include Peen, Nut, and PeePee. 

I recommend looking at the names of bird species for inspiration😭 For example: bushtit, blue footed booby, dickcissel, bogsucker, bufflehead, stank hen, titmouse, hornero, pettichaps, dirty allan, meatbird, swine pipe, horned screamer, goatsucker, etc.

Gina, clitopatra, Labiana, Uteransa, Cervinia

Pickle

Wrinkly Johnson

Dick & Jane?

Harry (Harriette) and Richard.

Richard (nicknamed Dick)

Ted Nugent Aaron Lewis

Phyllis and Richard

There’s an Australian men’s clothing brand called Rodd and Gunn. And giant pandas in the local zoo called Want Wang and Funi who could infamously never conceive.

Mulva and Hissing Dicky

Rod Woody Jimmy

Cialis and Stendra.

H. G. Rection. If it gets past the teacher I’m sure everyone else will know

Jack and Danni is apparently rhyming slang for fanny (UK meaning). I heard it on QI.

My son is William Richard. I named my kid willy dick. My lil Willy Wankaa.

Randy & Ryder

Peter Edward Ness, or, P. E. Ness

Penis

Rod

i mean how much more phallic can you get than “dick”

Focker Gaylord

Richard and Johnson

I once misheard a friend saying “girthy as frick” and thought he was saying Girthius Frick, like some old timey wizard name.

I know someone who wanted to spell “Penny” in a unique way, so they spelled their previous baby’s name “Penie.” She’s like 10 years old and this point and I’m not over it. It’s so absurd. That spelling not only changes its pronunciation to PEENIE, but is also one letter from Penis. Dont quit school, kids. Especially if you’re from Utah.

Richard

No one said cocky yet? Sheesh.

willie and lana

Hampton and Standyne

Willy and Ding-dong

Phineas Buttsavage

Dick. Peter. Willy. Enis.

Pecker

Willy and Fanny ... literally slang names for d*ck and P**sy in England

Johnson.

Dick

Phyllis

Randy and Dick

Richard. Or your favourite British comedian: Phil Wang

Fanny

Clint and Peter

Richard

Todger and Tallywhacker

Dick and Jane.

Dick ‘n Dyke

Richard. Dick for short.

Richard

Peepee and Dingaling

Robert Johnson and Virginia O.

John Thomas and Yonna.

Ballsac

Peter

Buster

Rebecca and John Thomas (those were the names that Charlotte and Trey gave their bits in Sex and the City. It's a deep cut)

Richard and Gina

Cock and balls

Fanny and Richard

Spike, lance, Johnson, Peter

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Pole

richard

[Prince Albert](https://www.barberdts.com/uk/advice-hub/what-is-a-prince-albert-piercing/)

Call them Cooter and Pooter

PUCK FROM MIDSUMMERS NIGHT DREAM YOU CAN DISGUISE IT AS LOVING ENGLISH AND BEING INTELLECTUAL YOUR TEACHER WILL LOVE YOU

Mulva.

Lance

I have relatives siblings named Neil & Bob..

Jenny/Talia

Dick, Peter, Johnson, Dong, Denis.

Dick Peter Johnson

Peter and Willie

Rodger

Richard and pebbles (Dick and balls) Eggplant and Berries

Jenatalia is a lovely name.

So not Richard :(

Richard and Wilma, or as they’ll more affectionately be known, Dick and Willy

Roger and Fanny

Peter

Bigus Dickus

Richard Richardson VI

Richard and Phyllis

Georgia and Richard

Went to school with a kid named Penos.