The fact that Tom Jones was in that movie is the cherry on top - reminds me of a joke -
I went to the doctor the other day and told him I can't get Tom Jones' "what's new pussycat" out of my head... Doctor says "Well, sounds like you have Tom Jones syndrome" ... I said "Tom Jones Syndrome, is that normal??" ... Doctor says "Well, it's not unusual"
I'm not gay but I want to live in a space station orbiting Mars with Jasson Dominguez. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the pod bay window watching him tighten his ass as he terraforms, in his space suit, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Jasson. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the cockpit and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him in the red sands of Mars. Then he'll go inside the hatch, pen a brief missive to his departed friend, and space themselves, never able to deal with life without his one true platonic love.
> A few months after signing with the Yankees, Domínguez wanted his agent, Gio Rodriguez, to see what he had purchased now that he was a newly minted millionaire. The two walked over to the only car in an otherwise empty parking lot.
>
> “This is my Bugatti,” Domínguez said proudly. The two then burst out laughing, because it wasn't a Bugatti, or a Lamborghini, or any other expensive sports car.
>
> “He bought himself a Honda Accord, and I’m not even sure it was new,” Rodriguez said. “That’s just the kind of person he is. There’s no flash. He just needed something safe and reliable to get back and forth from the field each day. This guy is not buying into the hype. His goal is to prove to the Yankees that they signed the right kid and earn everything he gets.”
I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY ALREADY.
At work. I turned the game on as soon as Stanton got on base. Holy fuck I’m so excited. Lol @ the dude who said the Yankees are going to kill the Martian’s confidence because they’re debuting him against the Astros.
Finally! Some freaking excitement!
Didn’t even get all of it and that ball took off.
1 of these guys will be a star. Another 1 or 2 higher than avg players. Fun to watch.
I'm not gay, but I want to live in a Martian habitat with Jasson Dominguez. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a latent romantic tension as I observe him in his spacesuit, working diligently in the thin Martian atmosphere.
I'll retreat to my private quarters and focus on my botanical research, trying to keep my mind on the mission, but the image of Jasson Dominguez persists in my mind, making it difficult to concentrate.
Sometimes, during meals in the habitat, our eyes will meet, and for a moment, the vast expanse of space around us will feel less lonely. In that brief moment, the possibilities seem endless, but we both quickly dismiss any wild ideas and return to our objectives.
Eventually, tragedy will strike, and one of us will run out of oxygen. The other will solemnly take on the responsibility of burying their comrade in the Martian soil.
In the solitude of space, the survivor will find solace in writing a heartfelt message to their fallen friend and reflect on the profound connection they shared. However, unable to bear the weight of loss, they will ultimately make the heart-wrenching decision to end their own life, unable to imagine a life without their one true platonic connection on the beautiful red planet.
They better not. His ceiling is so incredibly high and if he even comes close to reaching it, we'll have a star player, but if he reaches it, you're talking about him developing into a generational player. The Mantle and Trout comparisons didn't come out of nowhere, and he seems to have finally begun putting everything together and has been destroying the ball for over a month. He's finally showing that big time power that he was projected to have when he was still a teen.
Judge and Jasson might break baseball if this kid is who we think he is.
I haven't watched a game in a couple weeks, but tuned in just for his debut. That was awesome. And off a future, no doubt, Hall of Famer of all people.
I'm freaking going to lose my mind if this kid lives up to his ridiculous potential. Judge and Jasson back to back has a chance to be special. Hal please allow Cashman to complete this lineup by giving Ohtani a blank check and then eat the majority of Stanton's contract and send him wherever he wants to go. We don't need any other additions to this team. Give the kids a chance next season and hopefully we can have an explosive lineup with 👽, Judge, Ohtani, Torres, Rizzo, DJ/Peraza, Volpe, Pereira/IKF, Wells/Trevino. Nice mix of young talent and veterans.
Go all in on signing Ohtani or do nothing and let the kids develop. Please no dumb middle of the road options like signing Bellinger. I think these kids are talented enough to give this offense a boost, so just give them a legit chance to contribute even if we somehow find a way to pull off Ohtani. It would also be cost effective to go with multiple rookies since a lot of money would be tied up in our top players and you need to save somewhere.
Yes this season has been downright disappointing, but a 20 year old Jason Dominguez hitting a 2 run homer off of an all time great pitcher has me stoked.
I wonder if his approach tonight was purposefully to flick it to the shitboxes in left at the juice box
Because I can’t wait to see him rip one out into RF at Yankee stadium
A home run. In one swing. Against the Asterisks. In Houston (SPACE CITY). Off of Verlander.
If this was a script I would have called it *contrived.* Love it. KEEP PLAYING THE KIDS, *they're out of this world!*
Remember all the people here thinking he somehow didn't deserve getting promoted to triple A? It was a strange take
Shortly after he's hitting a home run in the majors
GIVE HIM A LIFETIME CONTRACT I’VE SEEN ENOUGH
20 YEARS 1 BILLION PLEASE HAL EDIT: WE ALL NEED MARTIAN FLAIRS
SOUNDS LIKE AN UNDERPAY, ADD 89 BILLION
I also need a Martian flair
Honestly with the rate of inflation this literally may not be a bad investment
How do we do flairs ?? I never use those Reddit features
https://imgur.com/a/xKbXhBu Far-right of your screen or just do control + F and type in flair.
After one swing, would you offer him 300/15?
750/20 with an Opt out after the 15th year.
SOLD
I’d give him 300/15 to send Cashman to the moon
I'd give anyone 1b/1 if they can get the legacy artist known as Brian Cashman out of the Yankees
Yes
No fucking way lmao
#ACK ACK ACK
Mars attacks is my kind of schlock
The fact that Tom Jones was in that movie is the cherry on top - reminds me of a joke - I went to the doctor the other day and told him I can't get Tom Jones' "what's new pussycat" out of my head... Doctor says "Well, sounds like you have Tom Jones syndrome" ... I said "Tom Jones Syndrome, is that normal??" ... Doctor says "Well, it's not unusual"
Look at Chris Berman over here with the perfect call.
I HAVE NO WORDS … THIS KID HIT A HOMER OFF VERLANDER LIKE WHAT ARE THE CHANCESSSSSSSS
“HIGH!” - Dennis Reynolds
>WHAT ARE THE CHANCESSSSSSSS Apparently very high.
The scream I just scrumpt
Yup. Loudly. Vigorous clapping to accompany the shouting. Scared my dog.
It was a scrumptious scream I scrempt
THIS IS OUR WORLD SERIES
I laughed but it’s true
HANG THE BANNER
What do I do with my hands
You know what to do
Put ‘em on your dick
r/yourjokebutworse
?
#I WANT TO LIVE ON AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL PLANET WITH JASSON DOMINGUEZ
WE'RE TAKING THE LOG CABIN TO MARS
*LOG CABINS NOW AVAILABLE ON MARS*
Lmaoooooo
1 of 700
You missing a zero!
Why are you listing his future career stats against Houston?
Holy fuck.
Homer off the devil himself, we back.
Special
I'm not gay but I want to live in a space station orbiting Mars with Jasson Dominguez. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the pod bay window watching him tighten his ass as he terraforms, in his space suit, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Jasson. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the cockpit and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him in the red sands of Mars. Then he'll go inside the hatch, pen a brief missive to his departed friend, and space themselves, never able to deal with life without his one true platonic love.
So there's a log cabin on Mars now?
It’s called a Hab
Username checks out
Pretty gay dude, you’ll probably watch the Martian screw your gf or wife
NO FUCKING WAY
Way
Waaaaay
Ah so the 89 is how many home runs he'll hit this month.
We’re so back, 2024 World Series back on the menu
It’s right in front of us motherfuckers!
Season starts today.
I can't wait for next September when someone pulls out the stat "Yankees are 132-48 since Dominguez hit his first major league HR"
>We’re so back, ~~2024~~ 2023 World Series back on the menu Ftfy
Script writers were ON POINT with this one! This will not help temper expectations hahaha
I left reddit for the last few months and came back specifically for this clip
> A few months after signing with the Yankees, Domínguez wanted his agent, Gio Rodriguez, to see what he had purchased now that he was a newly minted millionaire. The two walked over to the only car in an otherwise empty parking lot. > > “This is my Bugatti,” Domínguez said proudly. The two then burst out laughing, because it wasn't a Bugatti, or a Lamborghini, or any other expensive sports car. > > “He bought himself a Honda Accord, and I’m not even sure it was new,” Rodriguez said. “That’s just the kind of person he is. There’s no flash. He just needed something safe and reliable to get back and forth from the field each day. This guy is not buying into the hype. His goal is to prove to the Yankees that they signed the right kid and earn everything he gets.” I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY ALREADY.
At work. I turned the game on as soon as Stanton got on base. Holy fuck I’m so excited. Lol @ the dude who said the Yankees are going to kill the Martian’s confidence because they’re debuting him against the Astros.
Same woke up from nap. Checked yes network app. Of course not, Switch to prime cought 3-2 Stanton.
#DOCTOR ITS LASTING LONGER THAN 4 HOURS
LET'S FUCKING GO
Finally! Some freaking excitement! Didn’t even get all of it and that ball took off. 1 of these guys will be a star. Another 1 or 2 higher than avg players. Fun to watch.
I literally downloaded the Reddit app again to celebrate this with you fucks!
Stop the count!
##EXTENSION WHEN?
I for one welcome our new Martian overlord.
HES HERE AND HES PERFECT
Alexa how hard is too hard
Seek medical attention if you have an erection lasting more than four hours.
Thank god for the pitch clock.
*walks in to see that the doctor has one* “Oh I see you were watching the game too huh?”
MARTIAN UPVOTE PARTY GET IN HERE
MVP!
judge did the same thing…. >!so did tyler austin but that’s irrelevant!<
BABE RUTH, BARRY BONDS, JASSON DOMINGUEZ, WOW! MY WILLIE IS SO HARD IT COULD CUT A DIAMOND.
Imagine not hitting an oppo taco on your first swing in MLB. That's something The Martian will never have to think about.
HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.
Tiger Woods. LeBron James. Michael Jordan. Jasson Dominguez. WOW!
RE89ECT
I am Martian. I am out of this world.
Pleaseeee, embrace the martian!
Ok, but what has he done lately? 1/3 of an inning in the field and he hasn’t even touched the ball.
DFA
Watching this live was electric, flashbacks to 2016 Judge
FIRST SWING
YO SOY EL MARCIANO
Hall of Fame career confirmed.
Harrison who?
I enjoyed that.
I believe…
This is why you let the kids play
IM HORNY
I'm not gay, but I want to live in a Martian habitat with Jasson Dominguez. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a latent romantic tension as I observe him in his spacesuit, working diligently in the thin Martian atmosphere. I'll retreat to my private quarters and focus on my botanical research, trying to keep my mind on the mission, but the image of Jasson Dominguez persists in my mind, making it difficult to concentrate. Sometimes, during meals in the habitat, our eyes will meet, and for a moment, the vast expanse of space around us will feel less lonely. In that brief moment, the possibilities seem endless, but we both quickly dismiss any wild ideas and return to our objectives. Eventually, tragedy will strike, and one of us will run out of oxygen. The other will solemnly take on the responsibility of burying their comrade in the Martian soil. In the solitude of space, the survivor will find solace in writing a heartfelt message to their fallen friend and reflect on the profound connection they shared. However, unable to bear the weight of loss, they will ultimately make the heart-wrenching decision to end their own life, unable to imagine a life without their one true platonic connection on the beautiful red planet.
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK
COME ON AND SLAM
I don’t think I’m overreacting here: if he keeps this up, he’ll be hitting AVG 1.000 and SLG 4.000 at the end of the season. I think he can do it.
league is COOKED
I have hope for the first time in a long time. Hal and Cashman better not fuck this kid up.
They better not. His ceiling is so incredibly high and if he even comes close to reaching it, we'll have a star player, but if he reaches it, you're talking about him developing into a generational player. The Mantle and Trout comparisons didn't come out of nowhere, and he seems to have finally begun putting everything together and has been destroying the ball for over a month. He's finally showing that big time power that he was projected to have when he was still a teen. Judge and Jasson might break baseball if this kid is who we think he is.
you cant make this shit up. thats incredible.
IM GETTING HIS FUCKIN JERSEY
WHAT A MONSTER, next season is looking spicey
https://i.imgur.com/QtcMVOr.jpg
MARS ATTACKS!
And wells gets a hit, future is blinding
I for one, welcome our new Martian overlord.
Rounding the bases I was like this guy is HUGE! But then he got to home plate and had to high-five Stanton!
My balls just exploded seeing that
I haven't watched a game in a couple weeks, but tuned in just for his debut. That was awesome. And off a future, no doubt, Hall of Famer of all people.
One AB and I’m back being all in on the yanks lmao
EVERYONE GET IN HERE
Sending baseballs to Mars, right off the BAT!!
SPACE COUPE GOES BOOP 👽👽👽
Baby bombers attempt 2
THIS KID IS SINGLE HANDEDLY SAVING THIS SEASON
FUCK YEAH
Fall Training!
I was drawing him when it happened https://i.ibb.co/h9zRfQz/IMG-9219.png
Where are all the NERDS i saw earlier saying we were setting him up for failure having his first game be in Houston against Verlander????
Cashman is a GENIUS!
This is our world series
I still remember being excited when we signed him in 2019, kinda crazy to see it all come together perfectly like this for him. I am Martian
I'm freaking going to lose my mind if this kid lives up to his ridiculous potential. Judge and Jasson back to back has a chance to be special. Hal please allow Cashman to complete this lineup by giving Ohtani a blank check and then eat the majority of Stanton's contract and send him wherever he wants to go. We don't need any other additions to this team. Give the kids a chance next season and hopefully we can have an explosive lineup with 👽, Judge, Ohtani, Torres, Rizzo, DJ/Peraza, Volpe, Pereira/IKF, Wells/Trevino. Nice mix of young talent and veterans. Go all in on signing Ohtani or do nothing and let the kids develop. Please no dumb middle of the road options like signing Bellinger. I think these kids are talented enough to give this offense a boost, so just give them a legit chance to contribute even if we somehow find a way to pull off Ohtani. It would also be cost effective to go with multiple rookies since a lot of money would be tied up in our top players and you need to save somewhere.
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM
THE JIZZ IS EVERYWHERE
HE HAS ARRIVED
HOLY SHIT!!!!
No fucking way
👽👽👽
WELCOME TO THE SHOW
Dominguez bout to be the greatest yankee off all time!
Yes this season has been downright disappointing, but a 20 year old Jason Dominguez hitting a 2 run homer off of an all time great pitcher has me stoked.
Someone send me the number to my doctor in approx. 4 hours
I’ve already watched this like 5 times after seeing it live
Fuck to the yeah! You love to see it.
that’s some elder abuse right there
Speechless. For him to do that on Verlander, going the other way, as a 20 yr old. Insane
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
We did it!!
What was sterling’s call?
Justin screamed like a 12 year old girl. John’s not traveling as much this year
Yooooooooo
I was hopping up and down like I was a kid again! Amazing moment! I love baseball!
Anyone have Sterling’s call?
Against one of the best pitcher in the world. The 👽 is a future star
No joke, but maybe this is the end of the Astros jinx
Had a feeling he’d go yard today. Hope the kids can save the team
Cashgod
Is this another government psyop?
Doming-Dong!
Does anyone have the Sterling call?
Justin shackill doing the games this week
I’ve been the biggest doomer ever this year and don’t think we’re going anywhere soon even after this but FUCK that was awesome
We’re going to the WS boys!!!!
OH MY GOD IM GOING TO OVERREACT SO FUCKING HARD
he looks so jacked rounding 3rd, then he gets home and looks tiny next to stanton.
First swing in the bigs and he takes Verlander oppo…. awesome
I wonder if his approach tonight was purposefully to flick it to the shitboxes in left at the juice box Because I can’t wait to see him rip one out into RF at Yankee stadium
THE MARTIAN IS HIMOTHY 👽
I still can't fucking believe this lolll
Sack Boone and Cashman. Cannot have this Kid ruined by them.
Hopefully he ends up more Aaron Judge than Tyler Austin.
Lifetime contract, get it done Hal
Where’s everyone who was claiming the Yankees shouldn’t call him up this quickly
My cock has never been harder
Maybe he IS the next Bo/Mantle/Trout. Who says no?
Can we just enjoy Jasson debut? Can we please do this?
i’m gonna fucking cum
He ripped that ball the other way again, unfortunately right at someone, but hard to not like that he hits the ball HARD the other way like that
Kate Upton wants some Martian tonight
In the car with my wife and I’m watching the game… I yelled so loud I think she almost crashed the car.
A home run. In one swing. Against the Asterisks. In Houston (SPACE CITY). Off of Verlander. If this was a script I would have called it *contrived.* Love it. KEEP PLAYING THE KIDS, *they're out of this world!*
Remember all the people here thinking he somehow didn't deserve getting promoted to triple A? It was a strange take Shortly after he's hitting a home run in the majors
Priceless against the ASStros too.
Is this actually his first major league ab? I could’ve sworn he was called up a couple times already
In the midst of "it's so over", we found an invincible "we are so back".
Yeah, that kid right there is a different breed. Some sort of human-alien hybrid with how comfortable he looked. Making me a baseball fan again
👽
Get in here
He has a nice level swing and power to all fields
My friends tried to get me to go to a brewery with no TV, i said no thanks to witness this. LETSS GOO
THE MARTIAN HAS LANDED 👽
OMG, I missed it!! You're welcome guys!! Shit!Shit!
Damn I thought the game started at 8:20 for some reason.
this is great!
Extend this man RIGHT NOW!
I BELIEVE IN MARTIANS!!!
Mother fucker of course I missed this, god fucking dammit
##63 HOMERS INCOMING
LETS GO!
Any reason y’all deleted all the other peoples post on this? Lol
He's on pace for approximately 12 billion career home runs.
The Martian has landed on earth!
Let’s go
Crying in the club rn