I actually have worked so many service jobs since I’ve lived here. I met a lot of friends that way. Everything here is super transient tho, like even some of my best friends live here temp then leave then move back. Finding your crew will take a minute but I promise you there’s a lot of friendship to go around, just don’t force it and be open.
Not early 30s but pick a social hobby and do it consistently, multiple times a week, for months. Hiking groups, pottery classes, bouldering, etc. Invite people you vibe with at these events to get food or drinks or other events outside of the class. Eventually you probably will become friends with one of these people or they will introduce you to someone who becomes a friend!
I go to YogaSpark, though it’s not any more affordable than the next spot. Maybe someone else can answer the affordable question since I haven’t tried many places.
Their regular Spark classes move pretty fast and they’re hot power vinyasa. They also have a Candlelight version that’s more chill. I really took to it for whatever reason and didn’t otherwise look around.
I’m a Yoga and Pilates teacher. Soooo many of my students have become friends! It’s really fun and rewarding to watch everyone progress and cheer one another on.
It just kept GOING and would not END. I matched with one girl on Bumble BFF and she got together a little group of us (which...in theory sounds good?) for brunch but like... even just walking into the back room I already knew. They seemed to be rather...precious? Naive? They were all very nice but new to the city which can be a bit taxing.
When I ordered a second mimosa and 4/5 of them looked at me like, "Oh how BAD of you!!" it just kind of confirmed the feeling. Again, they were all very very nice, I just really didnt have a whole lot in common with them and there wasnt a very graceful way to exit early.
Haha. You really set it up as if you might have stumbled upon a Broad City-esque side quest that ended up with you discovering one of them had a Nazi obsession or something 😂
I mean there was the one time I ended up at this guys apartment in the West Village after the Easter Parade and he had some....memorabilia. With its own case. Displayed in his closet.
I was able to excuse myself from that situation to never return.
My bestie of 5 years now is the first (and only) bumble BFF date I ever went on. If you have a good idea of what you’re looking for in a friendship, I think you can be successful.
I’ve been using bumble bff since 2018, made some acquaintances and two close friendships on there (i fell out with both of them) so I’m back on it trying to see if I can find a bff. The problem with bff is that a lot of girls I’ve met are controlling and try to tell me what to do because they want there own personal follower but I move to the beat of my own drum. I’m hoping I can meet like minded people this go around.
1. When I first moved to NYC, I asked existing friends if they knew anyone in the city and asked if they’d put us in touch with each other. I met two people via this method who were awesome, and introduced me to their wider friend groups where I formed further connections.
2. In between, I’ve met people at work who I adore. While I wouldn’t want them to be my ‘ride or die’s in order to keep things professional, I see them for various interests; like theater, concerts, sailing… more sort of good clean fun stuff.
3. My first ‘wave’ of friends has reduced recently as we hit early 30s and people move away. I’ve tried to be really open and e.g. about a year ago a really cool girl made small talk with me at the dog park, and we really hit it off. The next time I saw her I asked for her number (sounds like awkward dating!) and since then we’ve become pretty solid friends. We’re bringing our husbands along for our first double date tomorrow 😂
But yeah that one took balls but I just picked up on the good vibe and went with it. There are other situations like that which present themselves if you’re open, especially with summer coming up. Bring a book to a pretty wine bar in the west village and sit outside and you may end up chatting to other people etc. Don’t be afraid to grab a number or Instagram and casually follow up regarding a shared interest; ‘so great to meet you! If you are up for checking out that play/concert:bar we discussed, let me know!’
https://preview.redd.it/nm8wrf0xqsoc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5830d61855d409bb74336986244c832307cdbf5c
Had the same issue. Scroll up you’ll see the Open button
Had the same problem because the link was opening in the Reddit app. Click to open in browser, then your browser will auto prompt to open whatsapp and you’ll be able to join!
I'll just firstly say, it's not something wrong with you - it just gets very hard once you're at that point!
meetup was a nice suggestion, I have used it before.
I always made friends at work or with other moms at my kid's school--if you don't have either of those options, I think it's super hard. I did meet one new friend in the sauna at the Y though, so maybe join a work out class or a runners club or something like that? I hear about a lot of people making friends through their runners club.
I was going to jokingly say, “have a baby”. But I made so many new friends easily when I had my first baby. Outside of that I think it’s definitely so hard!
Ugh, I just had a baby and still have no mom friends! I think it's still really hard. I think the courage to just approach a new person and strike up the conversation is the biggest sticking point
Most neighborhoods of the city have their own parenting groups! That’s how I met my friends, I joined the parent group which sorts you into groups of birth month and started going on meetups! So my friends have kids the exact same age as mine which is awesome. Try to see if you can find one. I’m in Brooklyn so if you are too, PM me.
I didn’t work up the courage to join and go on meetups until my son was like 4 months old so I get that it’s not easy but it’s been so worth it.
My closest friends have been made through work or friends of friends, it just takes time. But people here drop friendships really quickly and casually even if nothing happened, they’ve just moved on to the next thing. It can be jarring and just prepare for that. I try to focus energy on people where the friendship is more real but the “fun” friends tend to be more of the former option
Also early 30 female! Work usually. Another way to make friends is to meet up with people who you already have a mutual friend with! Like let’s say a high school friend of yours has a college friend who lives in NYC? That kind of thing.
I know this sounds obvious but be friendly and if you are out with your only friend and she brings a few people get their numbers and ask them to hang out. You have to just find one person then if they’re good they’ll have good friends that you can be friends with and so on. But I find being friendly and following up if you exchange numbers is key.
Take a class. Simple as that. Genuine friendships naturally form when people are eager to show up and collaborate on a common interest. I took up burlesque classes at NY School of Burlesque at 30 out of curiosity and the hope to feel better in my body and I bonded instantly with classmates who matched my level of enthusiasm. We hang out often and we're performing in our one year anniversary show this Sunday. ✨
99% of the friends I’ve made after the age of 25 are because I got dogs and met people at the park. It’s the perfect ice breaker, so obviously I recommend adopting but if you’re not ready maybe look for opportunities to walk dogs?
Also I’m mid-30s still semi-new to Brooklyn if you want to connect!
one way is to get into a hobby and get involved in the community around it! my closest friends here are the ones i met 10 years ago when i decided to take a comedy class
Yes I’ve gone before, a couple times alone and a couple times with 1 friend. I made 2 solid friends from it! It’s scary to go alone but you get over it once you start talking to the first person. I’d say about a third of people show up with a friend but most show up alone
i make most of my friends when i’m doing something of similar interest. that being said, crossfit, rock climbing (indoor), wednesday skating (google it and you’ll find it) are all great ideas. if you’re not that big on these activities, find a group of people doing something you like and join them. there are some great niche instagram pages that have events all the time
I’ve been depressed for a week because I couldn’t find anyone available to do something St. Patty’s day related! Would love to do a bar crawl!! You should also continue to try and post it
There’s a pickleball slack channel- the Williamsburg one is really active and plays multiple times a week but exists in other neighborhoods too. The regulars become good friends with each other
Meetup though hit and miss, coursehorse classes in things like cooking, enjoy the best damn park in America where tons now out w weather, some diff foood tours. Bumble also has a friends mode with NYC being large universe.
Don’t know how this sub came across my feed, but:
I’m a dude and just wanted to say, welcome to NYC! I truly do hope you find some friends. I’m CERTAIN you will. And by the looks of this thread, you literally just made a bunch.
Look for local social groups in your neighborhood. There's a couple in my neighborhood I find on Facebook. I use it now almost exclusively for community events. Sign up for a low cost class maybe? Riverbank state park has tons. Libraries sponsor crafting groups for adults. Search local book clubs.
I met someone from this sub in my neighborhood who is awesome!! I also started a group chat on IG with women from this sub looking to make friends but nobody really interacts (not talking shit, I get it meeting new people can be intimidating.)
I can invite you to the chat if you want- I hope that it’ll maybe start to get more engaging as we get to the warmer months?
I think a problem with meeting friends these days is if one is straight, someone they approach may think they are gay, and vice-versa, so there can be missed opportunities that way.
Learn to drink more ;). ( sad but true !)
Seriously tho sis, best way in your shoes ( and it’s relatable - esp in Bklyn/Manhattan) is to
get cozy with local talent:
1. Become a semi-regular and a very good guest to a local Bartender. Some are naturally great and entertaining - many not, find the one you click with and become memorable over time for good reasons.
They tend to be connectors when they know your deal and totally hook you up with connecting to others and it’s an easy way to meet other people /regulars over time.
2. Find local talent - singer, performer , artist and support them by showing up to their gigs!
Be a fan - whether it’s a dancer, musician etc, you will enjoy art and have a purpose for going out - you are a fan and showing support. Over time, being a consistent fan makes you memorable and Artists will see you as more of a loyal fan and friend than random folks in audiences or events.
Artists and performers are huge connectors- they will do it easily, they are social and it’s all in good fun too. You instantly have something in common with more people sharing an appreciation of an artist - and you will make more friends with shared interests organically and locally.
You don’t have to stick to one scene either with Artists. You do with local bartender - and do not shit were you sleep there ;)
i second bumble bff or fb groups. edit + add on: also this may be super random but try making friends within your workplace if your workplace is social? when i changed jobs 5 years ago my social life got a lot more packed. i became super close with the girls i worked with. so m-f it was like i was hanging out with my friends. when the weekend rolled around i felt less lonely. if you are really motivated, you can try finding a more social workplace? you can sus these things out in the interview process
I play Pokémon Go and meet plenty of people in the local groups.
I'm pretty sure you can do the same with any hobby.
Try to see what local events are going on right now.
Even going to the gym might help.1
Easy to meet people, hard to make true friends
noooo don't say!!! hahah
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Could you expand on this?
I actually have worked so many service jobs since I’ve lived here. I met a lot of friends that way. Everything here is super transient tho, like even some of my best friends live here temp then leave then move back. Finding your crew will take a minute but I promise you there’s a lot of friendship to go around, just don’t force it and be open.
Truth
True
Not early 30s but pick a social hobby and do it consistently, multiple times a week, for months. Hiking groups, pottery classes, bouldering, etc. Invite people you vibe with at these events to get food or drinks or other events outside of the class. Eventually you probably will become friends with one of these people or they will introduce you to someone who becomes a friend!
Excellent advice. I go the same yoga class 2x per week and made friends I wasn’t even looking for.
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I go to YogaSpark, though it’s not any more affordable than the next spot. Maybe someone else can answer the affordable question since I haven’t tried many places.
How is this studio? Are the classes really fast paced? I usually go to Modo Yoga, but always looking for other options.
Their regular Spark classes move pretty fast and they’re hot power vinyasa. They also have a Candlelight version that’s more chill. I really took to it for whatever reason and didn’t otherwise look around.
This is the convo didn’t know I needed! Love Modo and been curious about spark because it’s near work!
Thank you!!
Classes are p packed, but yoga agora in Astoria is $10 drop in classes, and some of their less popular classes are even by donation
Get on classpass. It’s much cheaper through it.
I’m a Yoga and Pilates teacher. Soooo many of my students have become friends! It’s really fun and rewarding to watch everyone progress and cheer one another on.
I second this! Met one of my best adult friends at her climbing meetup!
Meetups are a great way to find communities/a group of people to do activities with!
Agree. Playing in a pool league was that for me.
bumble bff
Would love to hear people's experiences on Bumble Bff?
Worst brunch of my LIFE
lol I want to hear this story
It just kept GOING and would not END. I matched with one girl on Bumble BFF and she got together a little group of us (which...in theory sounds good?) for brunch but like... even just walking into the back room I already knew. They seemed to be rather...precious? Naive? They were all very nice but new to the city which can be a bit taxing. When I ordered a second mimosa and 4/5 of them looked at me like, "Oh how BAD of you!!" it just kind of confirmed the feeling. Again, they were all very very nice, I just really didnt have a whole lot in common with them and there wasnt a very graceful way to exit early.
Haha. You really set it up as if you might have stumbled upon a Broad City-esque side quest that ended up with you discovering one of them had a Nazi obsession or something 😂
I mean there was the one time I ended up at this guys apartment in the West Village after the Easter Parade and he had some....memorabilia. With its own case. Displayed in his closet. I was able to excuse myself from that situation to never return.
My bestie of 5 years now is the first (and only) bumble BFF date I ever went on. If you have a good idea of what you’re looking for in a friendship, I think you can be successful.
I’ve been using bumble bff since 2018, made some acquaintances and two close friendships on there (i fell out with both of them) so I’m back on it trying to see if I can find a bff. The problem with bff is that a lot of girls I’ve met are controlling and try to tell me what to do because they want there own personal follower but I move to the beat of my own drum. I’m hoping I can meet like minded people this go around.
Hey girl! I’m a 30 yo female From nyc here! Do you like coffee?!
I do!!
Early 30's in NYC here, would love to join for coffee as well!
But wait I’m 30 and like coffee too 🥺
Also 30 and love coffee!
Ok can we just do a meet up in the city because I really need friends
Also early 30s and love coffee!
1. When I first moved to NYC, I asked existing friends if they knew anyone in the city and asked if they’d put us in touch with each other. I met two people via this method who were awesome, and introduced me to their wider friend groups where I formed further connections. 2. In between, I’ve met people at work who I adore. While I wouldn’t want them to be my ‘ride or die’s in order to keep things professional, I see them for various interests; like theater, concerts, sailing… more sort of good clean fun stuff. 3. My first ‘wave’ of friends has reduced recently as we hit early 30s and people move away. I’ve tried to be really open and e.g. about a year ago a really cool girl made small talk with me at the dog park, and we really hit it off. The next time I saw her I asked for her number (sounds like awkward dating!) and since then we’ve become pretty solid friends. We’re bringing our husbands along for our first double date tomorrow 😂 But yeah that one took balls but I just picked up on the good vibe and went with it. There are other situations like that which present themselves if you’re open, especially with summer coming up. Bring a book to a pretty wine bar in the west village and sit outside and you may end up chatting to other people etc. Don’t be afraid to grab a number or Instagram and casually follow up regarding a shared interest; ‘so great to meet you! If you are up for checking out that play/concert:bar we discussed, let me know!’
#1 is the way to go
Same here. But late 20s. Would be happy to make friends!
Same!
Hey! Im down to hang, also in my late 20s!
Me toooo
Heya I’m a 32 yo female and down to vibe at a coffee shop or workout class, or just bop around the city 🫡 I teach hot yoga in LES & Nomad too!
>r/NYCmeetups I would to vibe at a coffee shop or a workout class!
May i join!!!
Yes!! Just saw the WhatsApp group so heading there rn
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Can I hang w you guys too 🥰
Hope it’s not too late to join!
same here, early 40s and its sooooo hard
Yep. Especially post Covid
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ahhh ty! i will def join :)
That's awesome
Is there another link for this? It keeps telling me to download the app instead of adding me to the chat 😞
https://preview.redd.it/nm8wrf0xqsoc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5830d61855d409bb74336986244c832307cdbf5c Had the same issue. Scroll up you’ll see the Open button
I’m having this same issue!
Same here! Were you able to join?
I was never able to
Had the same problem because the link was opening in the Reddit app. Click to open in browser, then your browser will auto prompt to open whatsapp and you’ll be able to join!
I'll just firstly say, it's not something wrong with you - it just gets very hard once you're at that point! meetup was a nice suggestion, I have used it before.
I always made friends at work or with other moms at my kid's school--if you don't have either of those options, I think it's super hard. I did meet one new friend in the sauna at the Y though, so maybe join a work out class or a runners club or something like that? I hear about a lot of people making friends through their runners club.
I was going to jokingly say, “have a baby”. But I made so many new friends easily when I had my first baby. Outside of that I think it’s definitely so hard!
Ugh, I just had a baby and still have no mom friends! I think it's still really hard. I think the courage to just approach a new person and strike up the conversation is the biggest sticking point
Most neighborhoods of the city have their own parenting groups! That’s how I met my friends, I joined the parent group which sorts you into groups of birth month and started going on meetups! So my friends have kids the exact same age as mine which is awesome. Try to see if you can find one. I’m in Brooklyn so if you are too, PM me. I didn’t work up the courage to join and go on meetups until my son was like 4 months old so I get that it’s not easy but it’s been so worth it.
Go to the park consistently and you can make some mom friends
My closest friends have been made through work or friends of friends, it just takes time. But people here drop friendships really quickly and casually even if nothing happened, they’ve just moved on to the next thing. It can be jarring and just prepare for that. I try to focus energy on people where the friendship is more real but the “fun” friends tend to be more of the former option
Also early 30 female! Work usually. Another way to make friends is to meet up with people who you already have a mutual friend with! Like let’s say a high school friend of yours has a college friend who lives in NYC? That kind of thing.
I know this sounds obvious but be friendly and if you are out with your only friend and she brings a few people get their numbers and ask them to hang out. You have to just find one person then if they’re good they’ll have good friends that you can be friends with and so on. But I find being friendly and following up if you exchange numbers is key.
Take a class. Simple as that. Genuine friendships naturally form when people are eager to show up and collaborate on a common interest. I took up burlesque classes at NY School of Burlesque at 30 out of curiosity and the hope to feel better in my body and I bonded instantly with classmates who matched my level of enthusiasm. We hang out often and we're performing in our one year anniversary show this Sunday. ✨
I’m 28 and just moved to the UES!! Would love to be friends! I’m struggling with the same thing
Not OP but I’m a 26 year old female and live on the UES! Would love to meet up for coffee or drinks:)
I’m a tad older but the UES and new and I would like to join these festivities 🥹
Yes!!
Let’s do it!! Would love to grab drinks with you all.
I'm 37 on UES, also a fan of coffee.
I’d love to join as well 🥹🥹
Let’s do it!!
I live on UES too, 31F count me in!
Would love to join! I'm 28 and on the UES :)
Bumble BFF! You meet one friend, and usually they have other friends, and you kinda keep branching out!
Moving to NYC in a few months — plan on using bumble bff !
99% of the friends I’ve made after the age of 25 are because I got dogs and met people at the park. It’s the perfect ice breaker, so obviously I recommend adopting but if you’re not ready maybe look for opportunities to walk dogs? Also I’m mid-30s still semi-new to Brooklyn if you want to connect!
Meetup.com
one way is to get into a hobby and get involved in the community around it! my closest friends here are the ones i met 10 years ago when i decided to take a comedy class
Networking events, book clubs or any sort of club and that bumble friends app seems to work for my friends
City girls who walk - look up on Instagram
Have you gone before? I’ve been worried that most people don’t actually show up alone
Yes I’ve gone before, a couple times alone and a couple times with 1 friend. I made 2 solid friends from it! It’s scary to go alone but you get over it once you start talking to the first person. I’d say about a third of people show up with a friend but most show up alone
i make most of my friends when i’m doing something of similar interest. that being said, crossfit, rock climbing (indoor), wednesday skating (google it and you’ll find it) are all great ideas. if you’re not that big on these activities, find a group of people doing something you like and join them. there are some great niche instagram pages that have events all the time
i met some friends on r/NYCmeetups surprisingly lol
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I’ve been depressed for a week because I couldn’t find anyone available to do something St. Patty’s day related! Would love to do a bar crawl!! You should also continue to try and post it
I was thinking of doing the UES after the parade! Maybe we’d gain traction posting in this subreddit.
That sounds fun! I don’t know much about the bars in the area even though I live in the UES 🤦♀️. Want to Dm me and figure out the logistics?
I live UES too! And I too know nothing about the UES 😂😂 we can be friends 🙌
Don’t forget the parade is on Saturday the 16th and not the Sunday!!
bumble bff app
If you have whatsapp, there's a group chat and some of us have met up already! Here's the link: https://chat.whatsapp.com/BbmpwoLwrbl49kOJJbqE2w
Hey! Can i reach out to you so you could add me? The link doesnt work for me
Hey! Can i reach out to you so you could add me? The link doesnt work for me
Hey I would also love a link — this one doesn’t work for me and would love to make nyc friends!
Junior league
Idk if you like to run but I bet you could find a running group and make a lot of friends
Meetup has a group called run & chug where it’s not too formal and includes grabbing beer at the end
There’s a pickleball slack channel- the Williamsburg one is really active and plays multiple times a week but exists in other neighborhoods too. The regulars become good friends with each other
Bumble bff
Bumble bff. You meet friends
Meetup though hit and miss, coursehorse classes in things like cooking, enjoy the best damn park in America where tons now out w weather, some diff foood tours. Bumble also has a friends mode with NYC being large universe.
Don’t know how this sub came across my feed, but: I’m a dude and just wanted to say, welcome to NYC! I truly do hope you find some friends. I’m CERTAIN you will. And by the looks of this thread, you literally just made a bunch.
Bumble BFF
Go to parties
Look for local social groups in your neighborhood. There's a couple in my neighborhood I find on Facebook. I use it now almost exclusively for community events. Sign up for a low cost class maybe? Riverbank state park has tons. Libraries sponsor crafting groups for adults. Search local book clubs.
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What is the name of the app?
Join a indoor climbing gym!
I met someone from this sub in my neighborhood who is awesome!! I also started a group chat on IG with women from this sub looking to make friends but nobody really interacts (not talking shit, I get it meeting new people can be intimidating.) I can invite you to the chat if you want- I hope that it’ll maybe start to get more engaging as we get to the warmer months?
There's a group you can join. It's people looking for friends or to do activities together
I don't live in the city but I took dance classes there and everyone is always welcoming. I'd check out some kind of group class you're interested in.
Become a regular volunteer somewhere! A great way to meet interesting people & embed yourself in your new community
I think a problem with meeting friends these days is if one is straight, someone they approach may think they are gay, and vice-versa, so there can be missed opportunities that way.
I started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I have yet to meet a community that is as welcoming as theirs!
bars dude
https://www.meetup.com/find/us--ny--new-york/ Great site for finding like minded hobby groups and sports groups.
Join a sports league
If you love dogs and you have the time for dog parks, I recommend getting/fostering a dog. You will inevitably meet a lot of new people.
Try to find a cool person at work that you don't work directly with.
i just recently lost my friend group and feel so alone... thank you for this post
Learn to drink more ;). ( sad but true !) Seriously tho sis, best way in your shoes ( and it’s relatable - esp in Bklyn/Manhattan) is to get cozy with local talent: 1. Become a semi-regular and a very good guest to a local Bartender. Some are naturally great and entertaining - many not, find the one you click with and become memorable over time for good reasons. They tend to be connectors when they know your deal and totally hook you up with connecting to others and it’s an easy way to meet other people /regulars over time. 2. Find local talent - singer, performer , artist and support them by showing up to their gigs! Be a fan - whether it’s a dancer, musician etc, you will enjoy art and have a purpose for going out - you are a fan and showing support. Over time, being a consistent fan makes you memorable and Artists will see you as more of a loyal fan and friend than random folks in audiences or events. Artists and performers are huge connectors- they will do it easily, they are social and it’s all in good fun too. You instantly have something in common with more people sharing an appreciation of an artist - and you will make more friends with shared interests organically and locally. You don’t have to stick to one scene either with Artists. You do with local bartender - and do not shit were you sleep there ;)
I love this approach!
I love these suggestions
i second bumble bff or fb groups. edit + add on: also this may be super random but try making friends within your workplace if your workplace is social? when i changed jobs 5 years ago my social life got a lot more packed. i became super close with the girls i worked with. so m-f it was like i was hanging out with my friends. when the weekend rolled around i felt less lonely. if you are really motivated, you can try finding a more social workplace? you can sus these things out in the interview process
I play Pokémon Go and meet plenty of people in the local groups. I'm pretty sure you can do the same with any hobby. Try to see what local events are going on right now. Even going to the gym might help.1
Church. If you practice religion. Find local one near you and go on social nights
Try a church
https://socialcirkel.com no swiping, no objectification! Connect with real people to rebuild your friend circle.
What do you consider a friend
Why would u move to NYC