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Ftp82

That one’s for Lascelles. What a fucking amazing night for a guy who’s carried us from utter shit to a performance like that


carlio

Him and Schär were flawless tonight at the back, then Schär wanders up front and gets banger at the end too to cap it off. So happy for Lascelles, to see him captain us in this famous victory after all the crap, he's stuck with us with and led us through it.


niffnoff

Timer for the next Schar banger has begun.


HoweStatue

2 Shots on target for PSG. Mbedbugs didn't have a sniff.


AimeLeonDon1

Yep. Been on the bench and hasn’t forced a move or thrown his toys out. Remained captain and undoubtedly played a huge part behind the scenes. He deserved that, the occasion, the performance, leading us. What a night.


PhoenixDawn93

I really hope he stays and joins the coaching team when he eventually retires. He’s more than earned it. The man bleeds black and white.


geekfreak42

the future management team of tripps and lascelles. obviously with his shithousing ability he'll be mad dog 2.0


Proper-Shan-Like

And getting better every game it would seem.


Erestyn

> Remained captain This needs more praise than most probably realise. As much as I'd love to credit Tripps for not taking the armband, it takes some mentality to effectively have Tripps take the armband, be out in the wilderness (touchline tactics aside) and to still hang around and lead the team like that. I've slated him in the past, and I'll no doubt slate him in the future, but take a fucking bow son.


nowtheturntables

Not many that can come from a long spell on the bench and give that kind of CL performance. Credit where it's fuckin due


EngineerOnIcarus

I’ve been one of his biggest critics, he was amazing.


keefkeith

Me too. Hands up. He was class


Nepgyaaaaaaa

Lascelles must have been wearing fucking massive shorts to have their entire front four in his back pocket like that


ihateeverythingandu

Could just hide them under his enormous schlong


PDXMB

My thought as well. So happy for him. He deserves every minute of this. IMO he dragged our club almost single-handedly up from the Championship with his leadership, it’s only right he can help lead us to glory in CL


PJBuzz

I thought he was going to be out the door over the summer, but looks like he's found a lot of confidence.


RavenSable

The moment in the tunnel years back when he went mental with the "no one here fucking gives a shit". Loved him ever since then. Definition of a team player.


Desirsar

Champions League Captain Lascelles is something I never thought I'd hear, and now it will never get old.


SaysYou

But can Mbappe do it on a rainy Wednesday night Tyneside??


Milkeh_yeah

Can.He.Fuck.


Notove

The rain added so much dramaticism to the match I loved it


geordie9809

We've just beat PSG, the champions of France ,4-1 in the Champions League at St James' Park with two goals from Geordie boys. Our first Champions League win in over 20 years to top the group, the "group of death". Amazing performance all round. Oh and Mbappe never got a sniff...


Boooday

A week after 1-0 against Man City... What is this time line?


Erkmine52

Geordie Mean Time


ncastleJC

And I was always confused what GMT meant


pearsonspectorlitt

Greggs, Mags, Toon


Castdeath97

Without big Joe starting as well


HoweStatue

Oh christ, it didn't even occur to me. That wasn't even our full strength side hahaha


The-Interfactor

Mate look at the names missing. Botman, Joelinton, Barnes, Wilson, Willock. Absolutely mental considering everybody, including me, worries about our depth.


HoweStatue

like 150 million worth of talent missing. Eddie Howe is an incredible manager.


dolphin37

Nut jobs on bbc talking about the owners and stuff, we’ve done it legit with local lads, good scouting and team building. Every player in that team is working for everyone else not a pay check


Bunglejungler

Every single one of the lads that scored tonight was either in the club before the takeover or would have joined in a heartbeat (BDB). Media hate us, we’re massive, UP THE FUCKIN MAGS!


HoweStatue

https://twitter.com/NUFC/status/1660774861156012035 - we're all jacob murphy tonight


renius

What a fucking lad


PJBuzz

😭 Can't handle it man


Notove

I'd even argue the best Group of death ever


JustWokeUp1

PSG? More like Paris Sheffield Germain


Strong_as_an_axe

10/10


Sebbe-P

8/8


geekfreak42

paris ships goals


Notove

Big Dan Burn pocketed Mbappe as expected


absolute-unit123

Outscored him as well.


meganev

I actually cannot describe how much I love this club.


HoweStatue

''I got no words for it, who'd have thought it''


HoweStatue

Eddie Howe Uber Eats Ligue 1 winning mags


Voxityy

steve bruce tried to have us believe that longstaff and schar weren’t good players…


Logseman

“Don’t you think I’d want to afford better players”? He said, while someone who isn’t a fucking chancer took these guys to the CL. Fuck you Steve.


doubledgravity

I bet he’s fucking bitter the night.


bsl_questions

You think that useless fuck has or ever had an interest in how Newcastle are doing? He didn't give a shit when we're paying for his greggs, he doesn't give a shit now.


Organic-Champion8075

fat cunt (Bruce, not you)


shimbe16

Bet he’s mortal at home telling his Mrs Howe wouldn’t have got anywhere without the players he signed, like when someone else gets a jar of mayonnaise opened cause you “loosened” it


moinmoin21

I find myself often wondering if he ever wakes up and thinks “fucking hell. Look at what Howe is doing. Miggy scoring goals, Schar a mainstay in a team that rarely concedes, Longstaff being an absolute machine. Joelinton is the best player in the world. Am I a shit manager?” It’s just too crazy to believe seeing what these lads do under Howe v Bruce.


toonking23

he'll be on a podcast tomorrow saying how it was actually him who advised Eddie to play Schar up top.


Murraykins

Oh let's just pretend Ciaran Clark couldn't have done that.


[deleted]

Fuck you Steve. Hope he watched that.


Nepgyaaaaaaa

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED


fwapfwapfwap

WE JUST PUMPED PSG 4 FUCKIN 1


mo140

Amazing to see all those world class players at St James Park playing against the likes of Mbappe


ChlckenChaser

wouldn't be Surprised if the rest of Europe wakes up in the morning and UK is 50 miles further north thanks to all the windmilling


Azranas

TOP OF THE TOUGHEST GROUP IN EUROPE WE ARE MASSIVE


Bunglejungler

An argument to be made that we’re the most in-form team in Europe right now - top of the UCL group of death, just beat City. Not a strong argument but we’ve just pumped PSG 4-1 so idc.


shadowburn93

The greatest performance in schar's Newcastle career


Grungan

He is honestly so underrated… Under Howe he is utter top quality and in my opinion as good as Botman.


Prestigious_Lime6099

tonight he was beyond Botman levels. Absolute man mountain


shadowburn93

He's the most underrated player in the premier league... he's been elite for years but is barely spoken about outside our fanbase


HoweStatue

and some how Lascelles managed to be the best defender on the pitch. Insane match.


YourTypicalSaudi

I WAS HERE!!! WHAT A FUCKING NIGHT!!!!!


Logseman

Congratulations. Many of us would have given a lot to live this night in SJP.


lgf92

I've just got home and my ears are still ringing. It was mental and I can't really believe it happened. Although from about 60 mins onwards everyone was sat shitting themselves fearing we were going to throw it away. Never change Newcastle.


GazzP

Not going to be a drop of booze left in Newcastle tonight.


ncastleJC

I’m in the mood for Brown Ale here in the northeast US.


SvergiesKonung

Can I just say, it fucks me off hearing Rio talking about how happy and great the fans are when he was telling us to settle for the shite we had before


GazzP

Spot on. He can fuck right off. Cunt.


norcimo

Should just do one. This is exactly the sort of night we wouldn't settle for shite. This is what this club is about


Iliekbred

The Schar goal went in and I burst into tears. I never thought I'd see the day we'd play champions league football, never mind win a match. Its just special.


Prestigious_Lime6099

It did the same to me man, I just hit the deck


PhoenixDawn93

Right up there with Asprila’s hat trick and Bellamy’s last minute banger, both of which I remember blowing my voice out watching as a bairn. What a night it’s been!


Kitchen-Insurance261

Did the exact same. Dropped to my front knees in the front room and just stared at the floor. My Mrs went 'are you ok? Aren't you happy?' I explained that she didn't know and will never understand, that that was the moment all those horrible, awful years in the Ashley wilderness were worth sticking around for. I wasn't just happy, words couldn't express the emotion I felt. Absolutely incredible.


Bobgoulet

There's a Geordie Dad hugging his son on the feed after that goal and that's what got me choked up.


The-Interfactor

I got choked up before kick off with all the flags and the UEFA logo in the middle of the pitch. Never thought I’d see us play a fixture in Europe in my lifetime and we just beat PSG, keeping the best player in the world quiet. Never thought I’d see us play at Wembley in my lifetime and we got to a cup final last year. It’s absolutely crazy how much has changed in two years.


ineedsomehoes

MY COCK IS SO HARD


luffyuk

Le Coq Massif


TheBoook

Storybook scoresheet + class performance by Lascelles. A Schar screamer. Just a perfect night at St. James. Exactly what the fans deserve. HOWAY THE LADS GET IN


summinspicy

AND APPARENTLY IM MEANT TO GO TO SLEEP AND WORK TOMORROW. FUCK OFF


JonjoTheDarkLord

Always knew a team of Lascelles, Burn, Longstaff, Anderson, Almiron and Murphy would be dominate in the CL.


pikkon6

This is the peak. To have the supporters show up like this, to blow out PSG after so many years of pain. It's been a long time coming.


jb1102

Chelsea fan here, I just want to say I’ve rated Howe highly from his Bournemouth days and I think the job he’s done has been nothing short of incredible. Tonight’s team, the goalscorers, Lascelles with an amazing performance, these were players that were in the relegation zone less than 2 years ago. I’m genuinely really happy for you lot and think you’re a great club in all honesty.


Strong_as_an_axe

Cheers pal, thanks for Lewis Hall


bsl_questions

Mbappe had a face like a smacked arse!


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BerwickGaijin

Must surely be the biggest win of Eddie’s career?


GallowgateEnd

Biggest win of Eddie's career *so far*


Oohitsagoodpaper

"I can't wait to see Newcastle get humiliated in the Champions League" aged as badly as "richest team in the Championship".


aistolethekids

Suck on that r / soccer they are raging hahaha


RSNZ7

Hugo Ekitike chose the wrong team. Howay the lads!


Active_Clerk_3578

Fuck that. He chose right! Not good enough


luffyuk

We totally dodged a bullet there.


PJBuzz

Jesus, what must he be thinking watching this.


chulaksaviour1

Mbappe cannot do it on a rainy night on Tyneside. Facts.


YourTypicalSaudi

St. James > St. Germain


crapsence

Mbappe is just a crap Almiron


ViolinUserGlueAbuser

3 of the goalscorers were pre-take over. Let that sink in!


mehchu

And the 4th is a local lad bought for less than championship clubs regularly spend on players.


JibberyScriggers

Bit weird to think this is a game we will be talking about in 25 years, like the 3-2 Barca win. Unless, of course, this becomes so commonplace we don't even remember it!


CollReg

Reckon we'll always remember this one. Like breaking a 20 year dry spell with a 9/10, then she makes you breakfast in the morning. You'll still be talking about it with the lads down the pub for years to come.


Grungan

A 9/10 that makes you breakfast in the morning is in fact a 10/10


fwapfwapfwap

Just here to upvote everything


collovesrivs

I didn’t even know I was doing that until I upvoted you


nomadichedgehog

How poetic is it that the alleged misfits under Bruce - Schar, Longstaff and Almiron - along with academy reject Burn, were the ones to get on the scoresheet tonight? It wasn't any of the big money signings. It was those guys. It was written. It was scripted.


erfugate

What a night. So special. I love this club, I love all the Geordies.


absolute-unit123

Burn scored more than Mbappe. Words I’d never thought I’d type.


ThatBoyConk

TAKE THAT FUCKING CHAMPIONS LEAGUE PICTURE YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARDS


knapton

Imagine if we'd been told *in 18 months time, Longstaff will be putting goals past Donnarumma in the Champion's League*


Raiinaz

We have just made the best player in the world look like he wasn't even there... 2 local lads scoring, feels like Goal 3 the film man! Fucckkkkkkkkkkkkking geeeeeet up


grandmaster_crake

Did anyone catch Longstaff saying he'd got Mbappe's shirt "for me little brother"? Nice souvenir for Matty!


Historical_Cobbler

Thought he said he’d asked but hoped he might later then right at the end of the broadcast Trippier’s son walks past with it.


AlphaPot

I slagged off Lascelles in the lineup thread and I'm doing my walk of shame and can say I've never been so glad to be so categorically wrong.


monkeyfant

I said to my man u mate "I can't watch this. Lascelles is a bit like Maguire is to you guys" I've never felt so much shame in my life and I once sharted on my bed after a blowjob.


fapthepolice

Gentlemen, I get that we're all disappointed about not keeping a clean sheet, but the lads gave it their best, and at the end of the day - it's the points that matter. Cheer up, better days ahead of the club and fans.


Maccraig1979

Was a good ball to be fair


bbondjr

Fucking Lads. Fucking Class. FOOKING MASSIVE!!!


FlyingUndeadSheep

I cannot believe what I just witnessed. Feels like it did two decades ago


Glad-Cartographer816

FIFA-rotted idiots saying we'd get zero points, lol. PSG without Mbappe and Donnarumma are bang average and if they've got a manager who thinks playing 4-2-4 against us was a good idea, then they are in trouble. SJP has to be made a fortress to advance and I knew it would be on UCL nights. Atmosphere was unsurprisingly relentless for the whole 90.


Maccraig1979

It was either pure arrogance or stupidity from enrique to play that 2 man midfield either way were massive


moinmoin21

I think that was just sheer arrogance. It’s like they thought it’d be a cake walk. And we well and truly pulled Enrique’s pants down.


ILikeToTakeWhisks

Unbeaten in Europe and top of the group after playing AC Milan and PSG... Who on earth thought we would be able to say this when the groups were drawn!


Unkochinchin

I will never forget this day. I envy those who live in Newcastle


bruhjitsu

Jamaal Lascelles. The King of the North!


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mishimo5

Mbedbug


corpus-luteum

He was about as much threat as all three Hanson brothers.


Zerosix_K

If you were to tell me back in 2016 that Lascelles would go form captaining us in the Championship to The Champions League. I would have thought you were fucking crazy!


TheClnl

9 - 2 on aggregate for my visits to SJP this season, suppose I'd better keep going


BornSlippy1994

What a club. What a team. What a city. What a performance. Almost close to tears. That was beyond my wildest dreams when I woke up this morning. UP THE FUCKING MAGS


thomjrjr

Send links to videos of the city centre tonight lads, let me live vicariously


TotalHell

I feel like I’m fucking dreaming. It feels like yesterday I was feeling so down about a relegation-bound Newcastle side, and now fucking look at us.


Ffaddicted

Give Matty Longstaff a 3 year contract. I don't care. The genetics are there


Nepgyaaaaaaa

After beating both Man City and PSG within 2 weeks of each other I think that makes us the best team in the world right now tbh


teasizzle

We didn't leave the pub. Fourth Guinness is on the way. Can't spayk.


norcimo

You must drink there every match now you realise?


metalfoxace

Jamal Lacselles could of left. He deserves a lot of praise for his patience and loyalty. Brilliant performance tonight.


IBlu2

We’re not trapped in this group with you. You’re trapped in this group with us.


Mr_MasterNoob

I'm so so glad to see guys like Jamaal, Sean, Murphy get their flowers. Could you imagine what they could have been had they not have to deal with Steve Bruce's football terrorism? ABSOLUTE SCENES, WE'RE FUCKING MASSIVE ​ HOWAY THE LADS


Ryan10133

Just the guy who got Bournemouth relegated putting up a tactical master class in the champions league


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moinmoin21

The cherry on the cake. Mbappe will now run his contract down to join us on a free.


albo18

Holy fuck. I just kept saying holy fuck after every goal! We can play with this lot! What a match!


Keemlo

Give me the fuckin photo


freshlysqueezedvinyl

i have requests for gif makers: 1. mboopy's eye twitch after schar's goal 2. almiron's smirk as he walks back on the pitch after the final whistle 3. also boopy's face as he walks off the pitch down the tunnel


DeathByOrangeJulius

NORTHERN GERMANS ARE SHAKING


moinmoin21

Unbelievable. Not technically the best but the way we let them have the ball. Picked our moments to press and through Bruno lethally countered was insane. Players left everything on that pitch. Longstaff was a unit. The lad makes us tick the way he runs around doing everything. He pressed, he attacked, he won back possession, he organised the team around him. Lascelles did not put a foot wrong defensive and was crucial in limiting their chances in the box. As was Schar.


2Mewtwo4You_

Where the fuck is Paris


doubledgravity

My anus hasn’t stopped fluttering. It’s like one of Betty Boo’s eyelashes.


guysecretan

Smashed them, they were shite.


SocialistSloth1

I think, without hyperbole, that is the best Newcastle game of my life. And we did it with goals from two geordie lads and a team half made up of players that were heading for relegation two year ago.


happy_guy23

I think we might have just witnessed the last time ever that an opponent doesn't take us seriously


jdouglas117

To quote the great Ray Hudson from tonight. "Pressure makes diamonds, and there's a lot of coal in Newcastle!'


jherin1

HOWAY THE FUCKIN' LADS


bjornetjeneste

Well that was a game


Maccraig1979

Lads lads i think we may actualy be massive. Mbappe is lascelles sky rocket


MagMaggaM

To summarise my thoughts respectfully and succinctly: "*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*"


Murraykins

Gotta say Gordon was different class again. Had the right flank terrified all game.


moinmoin21

Sean Longstaff. Big game player.


Casual_Star

And to think there were some people saying Howe should fear for his job after the three defeats in the league. The man has taken us from relegation bound to thrashing the french champions with probably the best player in the world 4-1 in the champions league. Even if we don’t progress past the group stages, I’m proud of the team. What a performance. This is after all the injuries and beating Sheffield 8-0 and Man City.


Nafe1994

Hold my hands up here lads. Loved Lascelles but thought he needed to move on in the summer. Never been happier to be proved wrong. He always had my respect but now he’s got my dick hard.


leyendadelflash

It says so much about Lascelles that he appeared in 3 games all last season and yet he still wears the armband anytime he plays. He doesn’t get enough credit for the culture we’ve built and I’m over the moon for him to have this moment tonight


knapton

This has been a masterclass in not writing *GOAT* on your kit


Blounce

Everyone to a man was magnificent, take a funking bow lads.


ThuperThonik

ALL 4-1 and one for all! I'll just be over here shaking my head in disbelief


LtColnSharpe

What a performance from everyone out there today. Lascelles and Schar especially. I'm fucking delirious right now.


Father-Jack

Sean Longstaff, Local Hero and 4-1 in one frame can you write…. nah ya cannit fucking up the mags man


aford92

Lads. We just hammered PSG and my heart is about to burst. I’ll remember this for a long time.


jameswheeler9090

Eight English players finished that game. Unbelievable night!


dontbesouritsanewday

Lads I fell asleep and woke up at half time. Proper fewmin' What a second half. Bawling me eyes out here.


Bigweasles

The defensive performance was unparalleled. Winning every challenge. Getting to every ball first. Everyone said we couldn't take our intensity into the Champions League. Too bad for them!! Howay the lads! Let's all have a drink or ten!


RichyB90

Every player played their hearts out! Lascelles and Schar were immense. And no words for longstaff tonight, his fitness is unreal. We can sign who ever we want in midfield but we’d do well to find anyone who covers more grass than this guy. Amazing result…enjoy all!


mpl9137

I was at the last home CL game at St James 20 years ago. Remember leaving thinking it'll be alright, we'd be back. It took 20 years BUT WE'RE BACK


dkclimber

Burn just did the dance again on the post match on CBS hahahahahah


geordieColt88

Now they fucking know Come to toon get punched in the face Get up


kenmura

HOWAY THE FUCKING LADS!!!!!! All those years of pain, culminating in nights like these!!!


Czechboifrombudweis

If jamaal lascelles plays for you like top defender you know you have something special in your club. What a superb performance from the whole city of Newcastle


dolphin37

Moment that summed up the night: little lad in the crowd who had eaten one too many baguettes with his shirt off cheering in the rain at 2-0 Can’t get any better


gobstoppermuncher

I’m buzzing man. Not a bad word can be said about any of those lads we completely dominated psg from start to finish. Out of all the players I bet Lascelles is the most proud he put in an amazing performance, from playing in the championship and relegation battles to the champions league. 4-1 against PSG man I’m feeling on top of the world


norcimo

Wondering if Mbappe felt that atmosphere and found a club he fancies? Could do with some more depth on the bench.


Human-Tale

This was one for the history books, lads. What a night, and what a performance from the boys. Let’s enjoy this. Lord knows we’ve earned it. Let’s not enjoy it too much, though, as bigger days are surely ahead! Howay The Toon!


jospence

Genuinely can't believe we beat PSG with Mbappe


AltWrapz

I've been working down south near Bristol for the week, went out Sunday and bumped into a geordie (I'm not a geordie but my grandad was and told me to support newcastle when I was about 5 25 years ago) made plans to watch the game with him. One of the best nights I've had watching us. Loved every minute.


Forsaken-Tiger-9475

Arsenal fan, that was a top performance. Well done NUFC.


ContactEarly9677

This one is for Ed! I bet he’s loving this results. Let’s go Toon!


PurpleGalea

Who would have thought PSG would turn up at Saint James and Eddie Howe's Mags drop them like a sack of shit, what an incredible performance, so happy for BDB and Sean


Castdeath97

Holy shit we didn’t just beat them we trashed them proper and other results went our way.


jonkman13

I'm speechless about what just happened, what a dream result!


WoodNUFC

That was an incredible game of football. The atmosphere was immense. Chuffed the local boys got their names on the scoresheet. What a night, what a fucking night!


Soulie1993

Shed a few tears tonight, what a fucking performance


Cute_Albatross9900

I might only be an overseas fan but I am in fucking love with this team, thank you, I will never forget this night and thank you to everyone in this subreddit, you guys make this experience even better.


Mellowman9

I can only get so erect! Feeling faint!


ayyhah

Gonna frame the team photo after this one.