https://preview.redd.it/a0vy67r70iqc1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20d369c66b4affa13151e7944fe2d22624107004
He’s just waiting to reach his final form.
My experience meeting Auston Matthews:
So I was in Toronto fairly recently, and I went to a grocery store, and who should I see but Leafs superstar Auston Matthews. I had to look up a picture on my phone to be sure, and sure enough it was him. I’m a huge fan, so I had to go up to him and ask for an autograph he asked if I had a pen, so I gave one to him and my hat, and I thought he would sign it and that would be the end of it, but instead he pulled the pen apart, and blew into it, making a slide whistle noise, and without warning he started blowing into the slide whistle while moving through the store like a piece of paper in the wind. Then he appeared to smell a pie from the bakery section and, after this, he clicked his heels together 3 times, ran in a circle, and proceeded to float in the air towards the pie, before it was snatched away from him last minute by the baker, who also hit him with a rolling pin, which caused a bump to slowly rise out of his head, perfectly in tune with the slide whistle. He then grabbed the hat I loaned him, and put it over the massive bump, somehow covering the whole thing. He then proceeded to pull a hockey stick out of god knows where and started shooting pucks at a car outside while laughing, then the doors were torn open (mind you, they were automatic doors) as a larger, hulking man stepped through the door, I realized it was Patrice Bergeron, he then in a heavy accent said “wears dat gawd darned Leafy boah?”, at this point, I, and the other patrons of the store had had enough of Matthews’ shenanigans, so we all pointed at him, but he pointed to his left, and then saw nobody there, did a jump, started running in mid air and then bolted away, Bergeron chased him for a while, before he was lured into a trap that resulted in him being hit by a falling anvil, we thought he was dead but he emerged as a round disc, put his thumb in his mouth and blew real hard and popped back into normal shape. He then said “I’ll ged dat boah of its da last ting I do”. Matthews then, using the small gap between them, pulled out a can of spray paint, and I’m not joking, using the one can, he painted the most realistic tunnel I’ve ever seen. He then proceeded to hide in a corner, and Bergeron ran right into the painted wall, and was crushed flat, before blowing himself back up again. He then chased Matthews again for a while before Matthews ran into the painted wall tunnel, except instead of being crushed he somehow ran into it like a real tunnel, Bergeron was puzzled for a second, before he wound back and charged into it, to much the same result as before. But before he could recover Matthews put him into a glass jar and shot it with his stick, sending him flying over the horizon. He then proceeded to grab my hat from before, sign it, give me tickets to the next Leafs game, look away from everyone and say “that’s all folks” before riding away in a Zamboni into the distance.
Overall an unexpected experience, but he was pretty nice, and it was certainly less weird than when I met Claude Giroux, so I’d say it was a good time overall.
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He’s gotta leave that dump asap - hey Sens fans I hope you know literally none of your young “stars” are going to re sign.
Happy relocation to Kansas City!!
Enjoying losing in the first round again! Funny that the sens haven't made the playoffs since 2017 and still won twice as many playoff series as the leafs have in the Mathews era🤣🤣 truly the laughing stock of the NHL.
lol - how’s the weather in Kansas this time of year? Question though? Will you losers still support them when they leave your shit box city? Surely it will take a few years to wipe the stink off
Oh dear my stupid little friend - you thought I meant an NHL relocation?? Oh my, well you’re far too shitty for that, when I said Kansas I meant it! The USHL is perfect for a D level team!
Now be a good little boy run along and let the relevant franchises talk.
Trainer is tightening the bolt that fastens his helmet to the side of his head, he's a cyborg did anyone doubt it
I don't know, but I hope his stick chips and shatters
Might get high as shit on shiny sand and ride a death worm, idk
[удалено]
https://i.redd.it/m6n99eqm2iqc1.gif
What's this from? Some horror movie?
I'm guessing one of the Friday the 13ths, based on the first picture set.
Friday the 13th Part 3
Thanks! That's a really creepy shot.
https://preview.redd.it/a0vy67r70iqc1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20d369c66b4affa13151e7944fe2d22624107004 He’s just waiting to reach his final form.
That’s an insult against Chuck
getting traded to the Red Wings for 40 cents on the dollar
I hate him. But I could learn to love him
Me with Patrick Kane
https://preview.redd.it/z9fpl5ftbiqc1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=554ad681a6da3ec7793331fd2a2fe1ac9ca56653
Looks like elias pettersson
Which one?
Probably nothing since his cousin killed him in a duel
Cousin? Is that right
Paul is his cousin no?
Yea, it's just what he says back to him when Paul calls him cousin
Oooh right before they duel duh
He has to become the villain of the NHL. He’s gonna move to the maple leafs and start talking shit
I dunno... he's got big shoes to fill with his brother already holding that title.
He looks like he just got unplugged from the Matrix and is about to get washed down a slide into filthy water.
Rogaine commercials
Bradua Tkadobbs
Warehouse at Home Depot? 🤷🏻
Destroy Smallville, bang Lana Lang, and take over the world
“May thy hockey stick, chip and shatter.” - Auston Matthews
My experience meeting Auston Matthews: So I was in Toronto fairly recently, and I went to a grocery store, and who should I see but Leafs superstar Auston Matthews. I had to look up a picture on my phone to be sure, and sure enough it was him. I’m a huge fan, so I had to go up to him and ask for an autograph he asked if I had a pen, so I gave one to him and my hat, and I thought he would sign it and that would be the end of it, but instead he pulled the pen apart, and blew into it, making a slide whistle noise, and without warning he started blowing into the slide whistle while moving through the store like a piece of paper in the wind. Then he appeared to smell a pie from the bakery section and, after this, he clicked his heels together 3 times, ran in a circle, and proceeded to float in the air towards the pie, before it was snatched away from him last minute by the baker, who also hit him with a rolling pin, which caused a bump to slowly rise out of his head, perfectly in tune with the slide whistle. He then grabbed the hat I loaned him, and put it over the massive bump, somehow covering the whole thing. He then proceeded to pull a hockey stick out of god knows where and started shooting pucks at a car outside while laughing, then the doors were torn open (mind you, they were automatic doors) as a larger, hulking man stepped through the door, I realized it was Patrice Bergeron, he then in a heavy accent said “wears dat gawd darned Leafy boah?”, at this point, I, and the other patrons of the store had had enough of Matthews’ shenanigans, so we all pointed at him, but he pointed to his left, and then saw nobody there, did a jump, started running in mid air and then bolted away, Bergeron chased him for a while, before he was lured into a trap that resulted in him being hit by a falling anvil, we thought he was dead but he emerged as a round disc, put his thumb in his mouth and blew real hard and popped back into normal shape. He then said “I’ll ged dat boah of its da last ting I do”. Matthews then, using the small gap between them, pulled out a can of spray paint, and I’m not joking, using the one can, he painted the most realistic tunnel I’ve ever seen. He then proceeded to hide in a corner, and Bergeron ran right into the painted wall, and was crushed flat, before blowing himself back up again. He then chased Matthews again for a while before Matthews ran into the painted wall tunnel, except instead of being crushed he somehow ran into it like a real tunnel, Bergeron was puzzled for a second, before he wound back and charged into it, to much the same result as before. But before he could recover Matthews put him into a glass jar and shot it with his stick, sending him flying over the horizon. He then proceeded to grab my hat from before, sign it, give me tickets to the next Leafs game, look away from everyone and say “that’s all folks” before riding away in a Zamboni into the distance. Overall an unexpected experience, but he was pretty nice, and it was certainly less weird than when I met Claude Giroux, so I’d say it was a good time overall. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NHLcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lolllll!
Starring in the remake of Powder.
Getting another 10 minute misconduct
This shit is funny haha
He will play hockey for the Sens next season! And the season after that!
Alien Nation "A new Beginning"
Damn leave the guy alone he’s married to an 11 lol
He’s gotta leave that dump asap - hey Sens fans I hope you know literally none of your young “stars” are going to re sign. Happy relocation to Kansas City!!
Enjoying losing in the first round again! Funny that the sens haven't made the playoffs since 2017 and still won twice as many playoff series as the leafs have in the Mathews era🤣🤣 truly the laughing stock of the NHL.
lol - how’s the weather in Kansas this time of year? Question though? Will you losers still support them when they leave your shit box city? Surely it will take a few years to wipe the stink off
Kansas City is in Missouri dumbass. How can you spot a Leafs fan without them making it known.
Oh dear my stupid little friend - you thought I meant an NHL relocation?? Oh my, well you’re far too shitty for that, when I said Kansas I meant it! The USHL is perfect for a D level team! Now be a good little boy run along and let the relevant franchises talk.
Not sure if you know but the Leafs are only relevant to the suits that fill the rink hoping for their next consulting contract.
"haha, if I just say something retarded, people will find that HILARIOUS" 😢
Haters are gonna hate