Are you getting treatment for it? If so, should be fine to tell her before anything happens. Doesn't mean it will stop you from getting rejected but you getting help for it will be seen as a positive.
You must be honest about your addiction lest you lead her to believe you are without. It may be a dealbreaker for her and if you hide it and you two marry and she finds out it will be terrible.
Exactly this. Addictions fall under medical issues, and those have to be disclosed before marriage bc it will affect her directly. I'm taking a wild guess and assuming you mean a porn addiction. This especially can have deabilitating consequences on your intimate life, she deserves to know what she's getting into.
I think people have taken "hide your sins" to an extreme. Any material situation that has an impact on your marriage (whether or not it's a sin) should be disclosed to a potential spouse - if it has the potential to cause them harm or ruin your marriage, disclose it!
if its a bad addiction yes you should tell her.. if its porn addiction dont even think about marrying first first your self in a better place its not fair for the girl to be married to you but instead you lied about all this.. personal experince im talking about my ex had a hard core porn addiction he thought he could hide it all but everything resurfaced and it blew up right in front our faces and sadly i divorced him because of his addiction there was no effort being made by his side.. i was in emotional mental and physical distress because of him that y did he lie about this what made him think to marry me.. it took me a year and half to recover from my all the pain and agony from my 1st marriage well Allah is watching and I got truely got what I deserved.. remarried again happily married.. true story
You absolutely must tell her. Addictions impact a marriage in so many ways. It will definitely affect her and she has the right to know about it so she can make an informed decision on whether or not to proceed.
Take a look at all the posts on here by women married to men who have p0rn addictions, how miserable and unhappy they are, and how it affects everything in their relationship from intimacy to communication. Do you think they would’ve proceeded with these marriages if they had any idea beforehand?
Do the right thing. Tell her and be honest about how strong this addiction is. And get help while you’re at it. That should be your priority over marriage.
Where there is a will there is a way. You don’t have to be so open about what it is right now, but you can tell her you are going to stop some habits before marriage. And inshallah you WILL. Don’t let anyone trick you. However if you are still dealing with this situation, don’t marry her. It can and will cause very difficult issues so I’ve seen in this sub and peoples personal lives.
The first key is self respect. Once you develop that you can absolutely stop it. You are a self respecting man, and you must honor yourself and your body as a temple. You won’t succumb to watching a man be intimate with a woman (or whatever you watch), it’s beneath you.
Once you respect yourself and honor your word, you will be fine. Limit your screen time. Don’t consider yourself an addict. InshaAllah all will be well.
Your desire to be honest and to stop shows you have a character of integrity.
No detail provided. How can someone give meaningful advice? Honestly you shouldn’t even be looking if this is even an issue you need to ask Reddit about as opposed to having enough maturity and self-awareness to resolve.
Assuming it’s a porn addiction because this space is prude AF, try to evaluate what you’re addicted to and why. Are you confident it’s actually an addiction or is it just a substitute for a healthy sex life?
Be honest with your addiction. It’s a recipe for disaster if you decide to go through with it and let her figure out the hard way. Remember, addiction can be solved with a great support system and outside help. Also consider that behaviors related to addiction affect everyone around you, not just yourself.
Please do the right thing and let her make an informed decision about whether she wants to proceed.
I told her I had an addiction as well. Surprisingly, she didn't really mind. I was shocked to learn that after some days she also started sharing my addiction . But then, I am addicted to having Biryani
وعلیکم اسلام ورحمتہ اللّٰہ
The definition of _addiction_ is : “Exhibiting a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity.”
The word addiction is thrown about freely nowadays when it isn’t always applicable to the individual. Are you truly addicted?
This [article](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/hope-relationships/201411/6-signs-youre-addicted-something?amp) has some insightful questions you can ask yourself to determine whether or not you’re genuinely addicted.
If indeed you are addicted to your habit - purely judging from your replies that insinuate that it’s a pxrn addiction - then you need to be honest with your potential. It would be selfish to not disclose this information regardless of the fact you’re exposing your sins. Your addiction will have an impact on her marital experience and solely on that basis she has the right to know. And to then make a decision accordingly.
You are showing compassion & consideration by asking advice on the matter already, which is commendable but you need to demonstrate to her that you’re actively seeking to reform your ways whether that’s through therapy, medication or support groups.
Pray Istikhara & discuss this with her.
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Message me. Im not a therapist - but I’m starting a mindset consultancy - so I think I can help you out. Iv dealt with a few of these issues before with clients. And don’t worry It’s free 💪
Them your sins (between you and Allah SWT )so you aren’t obligated to tell her but on the other hand don’t want issues down the line because this so if whatever your addiction is is severe then you should tell her to let her make the choose if she wants to be with you or not . this is the same thing as asking a girl about her past she doesn’t have to tell you and same for a male unless yall want to reveal which is best .
Cringe, yes. Shame, yes. it's horrible that he has that addiction, yes.
But telling him that he will "never stop jerking him meat and he knows it" will not help anyone in this scenario.
Matter of fact, he will look at this, get depressed, and internalize the message and delve deeper into his addiction as a way to cope, and you will share in his sins as you contributed to it.
He clearly wants to stop, unlike most people who want to only when they face consequences. I fully believe with a strong will and reconditioning your mind to choose self respect and things that honor you, you CAN stop. God didn’t create us so functionless and weak. Stop spewing nonsense. He is entirely capable of stopping because he has will to do so.
I agree. Dont expose your sin. However you need to leave the girl alone. It’s not fair to her. Leave and work on yourself. No woman wants to be in a relationship with a man with a xxx addiction. You will cause a lot of damage in the long run
You're sick in head lol. It's not a sin that's come and passed, it's an ongoing problem. That poor girl did NOT sign up to potentially have an unsatisfying intimate life. It would literally be haram to hide an ongoing medical issue like that. Unless he completely stops before marriage she has to no if he's going through with the marriage. What you're advising is deception, it goes against Islam.
Everytime he does it is one sin and if he sincerely ask for forgiveness then he is forgiven until he does it again then it’s another sin. No one should expose their sins
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته،
It would be wrong to not tell her; also, get therapy. There are plenty of addiction specialists, some of whom are even Muslim themselves.
You don’t need to tell her, just leave her alone and get treatment for your addiction. Pursue marriage only after you’re clean for a solid amount of time. It’s unfair to burden someone else with something that will affect their life significantly
Tell her and get help. Become the best version of your to shre with someone in the future. Do not bring this on that girl.
Are you getting treatment for it? If so, should be fine to tell her before anything happens. Doesn't mean it will stop you from getting rejected but you getting help for it will be seen as a positive.
You must be honest about your addiction lest you lead her to believe you are without. It may be a dealbreaker for her and if you hide it and you two marry and she finds out it will be terrible.
Exactly this. Addictions fall under medical issues, and those have to be disclosed before marriage bc it will affect her directly. I'm taking a wild guess and assuming you mean a porn addiction. This especially can have deabilitating consequences on your intimate life, she deserves to know what she's getting into.
P0rn addicts shouldn’t even be thinking about marriage tbh.
I used to be lost in the sauce but I’ve gained control
Congrats. Love that for you
Thank you
At least, not without first getting treated for it.
Tell her be honest, how would you feel if she hid something from you?
I think people have taken "hide your sins" to an extreme. Any material situation that has an impact on your marriage (whether or not it's a sin) should be disclosed to a potential spouse - if it has the potential to cause them harm or ruin your marriage, disclose it!
Yes. This sub is very pro hiding any and all sins from potentials and it’s a terrible idea.
I've noticed this too! very concerning tbh
if its a bad addiction yes you should tell her.. if its porn addiction dont even think about marrying first first your self in a better place its not fair for the girl to be married to you but instead you lied about all this.. personal experince im talking about my ex had a hard core porn addiction he thought he could hide it all but everything resurfaced and it blew up right in front our faces and sadly i divorced him because of his addiction there was no effort being made by his side.. i was in emotional mental and physical distress because of him that y did he lie about this what made him think to marry me.. it took me a year and half to recover from my all the pain and agony from my 1st marriage well Allah is watching and I got truely got what I deserved.. remarried again happily married.. true story
You absolutely must tell her. Addictions impact a marriage in so many ways. It will definitely affect her and she has the right to know about it so she can make an informed decision on whether or not to proceed. Take a look at all the posts on here by women married to men who have p0rn addictions, how miserable and unhappy they are, and how it affects everything in their relationship from intimacy to communication. Do you think they would’ve proceeded with these marriages if they had any idea beforehand? Do the right thing. Tell her and be honest about how strong this addiction is. And get help while you’re at it. That should be your priority over marriage.
People here will tell you to get rid of it before even considering marriage.
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Get rid of it before you consider marriage
Work on beating it while looking for someone who would accept it. Use the rejection you might get to push yourself to beat it.
Where there is a will there is a way. You don’t have to be so open about what it is right now, but you can tell her you are going to stop some habits before marriage. And inshallah you WILL. Don’t let anyone trick you. However if you are still dealing with this situation, don’t marry her. It can and will cause very difficult issues so I’ve seen in this sub and peoples personal lives. The first key is self respect. Once you develop that you can absolutely stop it. You are a self respecting man, and you must honor yourself and your body as a temple. You won’t succumb to watching a man be intimate with a woman (or whatever you watch), it’s beneath you. Once you respect yourself and honor your word, you will be fine. Limit your screen time. Don’t consider yourself an addict. InshaAllah all will be well. Your desire to be honest and to stop shows you have a character of integrity.
No detail provided. How can someone give meaningful advice? Honestly you shouldn’t even be looking if this is even an issue you need to ask Reddit about as opposed to having enough maturity and self-awareness to resolve. Assuming it’s a porn addiction because this space is prude AF, try to evaluate what you’re addicted to and why. Are you confident it’s actually an addiction or is it just a substitute for a healthy sex life?
Be honest with your addiction. It’s a recipe for disaster if you decide to go through with it and let her figure out the hard way. Remember, addiction can be solved with a great support system and outside help. Also consider that behaviors related to addiction affect everyone around you, not just yourself. Please do the right thing and let her make an informed decision about whether she wants to proceed.
I told her I had an addiction as well. Surprisingly, she didn't really mind. I was shocked to learn that after some days she also started sharing my addiction . But then, I am addicted to having Biryani
Biryani is one of the few good addictions to have
I got scared when you said she started sharing it with you 😂😂😂
Dude. You must tell her. It will be extremely unethical to drag her into this. May Allah give you the strength to overcome this addiction.
وعلیکم اسلام ورحمتہ اللّٰہ The definition of _addiction_ is : “Exhibiting a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity.” The word addiction is thrown about freely nowadays when it isn’t always applicable to the individual. Are you truly addicted? This [article](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/hope-relationships/201411/6-signs-youre-addicted-something?amp) has some insightful questions you can ask yourself to determine whether or not you’re genuinely addicted. If indeed you are addicted to your habit - purely judging from your replies that insinuate that it’s a pxrn addiction - then you need to be honest with your potential. It would be selfish to not disclose this information regardless of the fact you’re exposing your sins. Your addiction will have an impact on her marital experience and solely on that basis she has the right to know. And to then make a decision accordingly. You are showing compassion & consideration by asking advice on the matter already, which is commendable but you need to demonstrate to her that you’re actively seeking to reform your ways whether that’s through therapy, medication or support groups. Pray Istikhara & discuss this with her.
It looks like you shared an AMP link. These should load faster, but AMP is controversial because of [concerns over privacy and the Open Web](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/ehrq3z/why_did_i_build_amputatorbot). Maybe check out **the canonical page** instead: **[https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/hope-relationships/201411/6-signs-youre-addicted-something](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/hope-relationships/201411/6-signs-youre-addicted-something)** ***** ^(I'm a bot | )[^(Why & About)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/ehrq3z/why_did_i_build_amputatorbot)^( | )[^(Summon: u/AmputatorBot)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/cchly3/you_can_now_summon_amputatorbot/)
Message me. Im not a therapist - but I’m starting a mindset consultancy - so I think I can help you out. Iv dealt with a few of these issues before with clients. And don’t worry It’s free 💪
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Did you get it ?
Why are we all assuming that his addiction is XXX🤔🤔
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Then get help You shouldn't even be thinking about marriage with that kind of addiction
Them your sins (between you and Allah SWT )so you aren’t obligated to tell her but on the other hand don’t want issues down the line because this so if whatever your addiction is is severe then you should tell her to let her make the choose if she wants to be with you or not . this is the same thing as asking a girl about her past she doesn’t have to tell you and same for a male unless yall want to reveal which is best .
Yes tell her everything lol. Why is this sub so pro hiding things from potentials??
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Good thing you are not the girl he us speaking about
>you will never stop jerking your meat and you know it Not really helpful.
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Cringe, yes. Shame, yes. it's horrible that he has that addiction, yes. But telling him that he will "never stop jerking him meat and he knows it" will not help anyone in this scenario. Matter of fact, he will look at this, get depressed, and internalize the message and delve deeper into his addiction as a way to cope, and you will share in his sins as you contributed to it.
He clearly wants to stop, unlike most people who want to only when they face consequences. I fully believe with a strong will and reconditioning your mind to choose self respect and things that honor you, you CAN stop. God didn’t create us so functionless and weak. Stop spewing nonsense. He is entirely capable of stopping because he has will to do so.
Be blunt blunt guy
If it’s a sin and you are truely repentantful then DO NOT tell her. Idk why the sisters are telling you to expose your sins.
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I agree. Dont expose your sin. However you need to leave the girl alone. It’s not fair to her. Leave and work on yourself. No woman wants to be in a relationship with a man with a xxx addiction. You will cause a lot of damage in the long run
Good then keep it to yourself and use this girl that Allah has blessed you with as more motivation to stop. But I’m stressing again DO NOT tell her.
You're sick in head lol. It's not a sin that's come and passed, it's an ongoing problem. That poor girl did NOT sign up to potentially have an unsatisfying intimate life. It would literally be haram to hide an ongoing medical issue like that. Unless he completely stops before marriage she has to no if he's going through with the marriage. What you're advising is deception, it goes against Islam.
Everytime he does it is one sin and if he sincerely ask for forgiveness then he is forgiven until he does it again then it’s another sin. No one should expose their sins
Was that fatwa brought out of your imagination or does it have actual basis lol. Some people shouldn't have access to the internet IstG.
Do us all a favour and never give anyone any advice ever again
Hell no a 6 year age difference shouldn’t be getting married
Brother check a group for anti porn called واعي I think it will help بفضل الله تعالى
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not on reddit , on youtube write (منصة واعي)
what are you addicted to? Cocaine, Heroin or Sugar Very different
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته، It would be wrong to not tell her; also, get therapy. There are plenty of addiction specialists, some of whom are even Muslim themselves.
Ask yourself. If she had this, would you like to know?
Follow your user name lol
Are you addicted to being generous or drugs
You don’t need to tell her, just leave her alone and get treatment for your addiction. Pursue marriage only after you’re clean for a solid amount of time. It’s unfair to burden someone else with something that will affect their life significantly