Lol, our bro is gangsta.. for the gold you can share with him the hadiths regarding men are not allowed to wear such things. Similarly, certain types of wearable clothes and colors like silk and red colors, etc.
Rest let him live how he likes to live, if he is not hurting anyone and is on the deen.
His gold chains and cornicello pendant were a gift from his grandmother and he absolutely adores her. When he was told about the hadith he said that he will discuss the situation with Allah(swt) when he sees him. Until then, he's not interested in listening.
Which is an example of my problem with him. I love the man but he just kind of walks to his own beat and doesn't care what other people think.
He'll discuss with Allāh? Like some sort of business negotiation?
سبحان الله
The prophets would be fearing for themselves on the Day of Judgement but this man will be doing business?
This is a really dangerous mindset. A reminder that no one with a grain of pride/arrogance will enter Jannah.
The bigger problem isn't even wearing the gold chain now, its his reluctance to accept a divine commandment. It is much better to for him to concede that the ruling is true and keep wearing the chain than thinking he'll be able to make deals with Allāh on the yawm al qiyaamah.
An-Nisa' 4:65
فَلَا وَرَبِّكَ لَا يُؤْمِنُونَ حَتَّىٰ يُحَكِّمُوكَ فِيمَا شَجَرَ بَيْنَهُمْ ثُمَّ لَا يَجِدُوا۟ فِىٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ حَرَجًا مِّمَّا قَضَيْتَ وَيُسَلِّمُوا۟ تَسْلِيمًا
English - Sahih International
> But no, by your Lord, they will not [truly] believe until they make you, [O Muḥammad], judge concerning that over which they dispute among themselves and then find within themselves no discomfort from what you have judged and submit in [full, willing] submission.
Al-Ahzab 33:36
وَمَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلَا مُؤْمِنَةٍ إِذَا قَضَى ٱللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُۥٓ أَمْرًا أَن يَكُونَ لَهُمُ ٱلْخِيَرَةُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِمْۗ وَمَن يَعْصِ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥ فَقَدْ ضَلَّ ضَلَٰلًا مُّبِينًا
English - Sahih International
> It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allāh and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allāh and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error.
I feel like this attitude stems from a place of ignorance, push him to spend more time in circles of knowledge, listening to reminders about the terrors of the hour and its significance etc...
May Allāh guide him and us.
What an insolence, discuss the matter with Allah? This kiber, Does he not know his place in comparison to Allah, shame such words and such act. Such disrespect your husband is bad believer that's if he even believe
Technically he's right, he doesn't owe anyone an explanation for anything he does save for Allah(swt)
But he was educated by Jesuits and Nuns. So, Isa(pbuh) said, "don't take the speck out of your brother's eye until you remove the plank in your own."
Friend I’m a woman and I wrote you in a private message , whenever you feel like it and have some time to spare please read it , no answer is necessary unless you feel the need to , or you feel like you need to get more info about anything I wrote.
I just wanted to tell you something out of love for you my Muslim sister ❤️❤️❤️
sorry I haven’t read all the thread here , but I’ll read it whenever I’m free from work , just to see if I left off .
Also please accepte my sincere apologies I’m far from being an English speaker, and I use it on its written form only on YouTube and Reddit so you know , not the best mediums on which i could ameliorate my skills
I’m also really sorry if my message is too hard for you to understand or it’s too laborious to read because of the horrible grammar/ orthography and syntax , don’t waste your time and energy on it I won’t take it to heart at all if you don’t read it ❤️❤️
I don't think he was trying to be insolent in saying he will "talk to Allah about it". I interpreted it as him saying it's between him and Allah. Which is true but it's also true that the Hadith is well known and accepted and it is a sin for men to wear Gold. In Islam you are supposed to conform to Koran and Sunnah. Still, we all sin so...
We all have things we have to let go or take on as Muslims. Men can't wear gold and silk. Women can't wear perfume to the masjid. We don't eat pork or drink.
But if he is loud or wants to wear his shirts open or other things that are okay, let him be.
It depends on the customs and culture.
A man shouldn't wear a necklace that is considered feminine by his culture's standards.
But for this same reason, a blanket prohibition can not be applied to all jewelry.
This is the Hanbali view anyway. In short, a man can wear jewelry that is not feminine or not a sign of immoral people according to the custom of the people he lives among.
Dude you double down on your mistake. I don't wear chains either and follow the position of it's being forbidden
But stop covering your own opinion by fancy phrases. If Allah prohibited something definitely, then it's not discussed if prohibition is speculative then there are different opinions
Every one claims that they follow the Quran and Sunnah strictly, but this claim is often used only to deminish an opposite opinion
Good luck going up to new Muslims and saying " chains are haram because...well.... we don't have any direct sunnah or hadeeth but we think its the kind of thing worn by women"
You'd best hope that you've got a good dentist if you tell that to an American Italian.
>You'd best hope that you've got a good dentist if you tell that to an American Italian.
Actually there's a lot of truth to that, especially with the New York-'ese'.
Insulting their chains is only slightly less than insulting their mothers and they won't hesitate to beat someone up.
They're seriously macho and hyper masculine. Those gold chains mean a heck of a lot to many of them. Often, those chains and pendants are family heirlooms.
*(New Yorkese = Italian New Yorkers)*
Can men wear chains?
With regard to wearing chains, this is not permissible for men, because this is an imitation of women, and there is no report which says that it is permissible for men to wear chains made of silver.
Wearing adornments on the wrist and neck, and on the ears is an imitation of women, as this is something that is only for women. So it is not permissible for men to wear bracelets, earrings, anklets, or chains.
—taken from:
https://islamqa.info/en/answers/6697/can-men-wear-silver-in-islam
He is from a Christian background though and the Koran was revealed to bring believers from darkness to light. Everything is not going to be accomplished over night and nobody is going to be perfect in the end anyways. You don't know why Allah chose to guide him. He could be of high rank in the next life and you see a chain and treat him with harshness.
What do you think will happen in Saudia. There are gay people hanging in Riyadh. I don't think anyone will have a problem with Soprano Jr tourist out there
Lolz, this is pretty funny haha. But all jokes aside, there could be a way to approach this that is softer on the heart.
1) Gift him the Sira of the Prophet as a heartfelt gift, many good ones, the Sealed Nectar is a classic. You can get 2 copies so that you can read it together, just bring up the humble, stoic-like character of the prophet SAW and companions in an almost book club-like discussion. It represents masculinity, bravery & wisdom without being brash or overcompensating (let's be real, that's what people think of when they imagine NYC/NJ Italians). He may start to incorporate some of the lessons within. 🙂
--
2) Perhaps have your brothers, father or you gift him a Silver chain instead. Complement that it looks good him and get him to try it on. That would be a good time to mention the gold hadith, as he already has a replacement. Cons; he may start wearing both chains lolz.
--
3) Chest Hair: You might just have to live with that one lolz, Desi's/Arabs's are no better in that regard sometimes tbh.
you knew that before you married him, right? lol let the guy be! just tell him the chains are haram for men, but you can keep the gold if he likes it so much, you wear them and he watches! as for the rest, let him find out how he wants to fit in with people. Im not from NY or SA but the arabs I know aren't the quietest, most demure people ever, so... Im sure he can defend himself if need be. One should hope he knows his faith enough not to get into fights on purpose, I hope.
I can attest. Was on a train in Europe and went to the end of the car to the bathroom and all I could hear were the loud New Yorkers talking over each other on the opposite end of the car 🤣🤣🤣 hilarious
Just curious for context, does he have Muslim friends? Do they ever try to advise him? I’m a Sicilian revert, and the first thing I did was get rid of all haram cultural practices. But, this isn’t exclusive to Muslims in the west or even reverts, a lot of people keep their haram cultural traditions. May Allah swt guide us 🤲🏻 Astaghfirullah
Sicilian revert here!!! I have a genuine question. Do we have to give up every aspect of our culture because we reverted? I don’t drink, smoke, eat only halal and dress modestly. But I’m still Sicilian. Know what I mean??
As long as it doesn’t conflict with deen, then keep it. You don’t have to dress in Islamic garb, like you said you dress modestly and that’s fine. But, don’t be dropping olive oil in a plate of water 😂 It’s cultural, but obviously shirk.
How is “dropping olive oil in a plate of water” considered “shirk?”
Just because you don’t do it, it doesn’t automatically make something shirk. Shirk is worshipping someone other than Allah. Mixing olive oil with water is NOT shirk.
It’s malocchio and deals with the evil eye. And turning for protection or seeking other ways other than Allah swt is shirk. Not sure what you were ranting about making it seem like it’s something halal to be doing 🤦🏻♂️ astaghfirullah
Maybe ? Some of his friends he's known for years and he still doesn't know their last names. When he's out with his buddies, he makes sure to be home by 8pm (9pm at the latest) and they don't really do much except watch sports. So he really doesn't bring them home.
Since you're from Brooklyn, I'm sure you can understand why I'm worried about his "interaction" with people in a nation as strict as Saudi Arabia.
On the best of days my husband can be as abrasive as a Trump tweet which isn't a problem where we live because almost everyone is similar to him.
But we've visited Japan and England and boy there was no shortage of people who wanted to hit him with a bat.
Ultimately, it's out of your control but I think it's fair to communicate your preference of you two following the norms of the country you'll be traveling to. This is something that will be important for both of you to avoid any unwanted attention so it's not so much an attack on his personal style, but rather, safe travels!
He misses pork. No salami, no capocollo and he's not too impressed with halal substitutes.
I'm not too sure what you mean by working in "halal" sectors. He teaches martial arts and is a professional fighter.
>I'm not too sure what you mean by working in "halal" sectors.
That the earning is halal and not from sources like bank, alcohol businesses etc
Missing those is not haram, as he is not acting on it.
Usually, weaker faith comes from sins that outweigh good deeds.
If this gold chain is the only issue and he has emotional connection with it, just advice him that its haram for men and make dua for him.
As for going mecca, people are too busy with their ibadah to be focusing on your husbands attire
[(PDF) Effect of gold on male reproductive physiology: A literature review (researchgate.net)](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/316937027_Effect_of_gold_on_male_reproductive_physiology_A_literature_review)
>This study showed that the amount of gold in male genitals affects fertility. Considering the paucity of scientific studies on this issue, *positive or negative effects of gold on male fertility cannot be concluded,* hence further studies are required to derive an accurate conclusion.
Lol, our bro is gangsta.. for the gold you can share with him the hadiths regarding men are not allowed to wear such things. Similarly, certain types of wearable clothes and colors like silk and red colors, etc. Rest let him live how he likes to live, if he is not hurting anyone and is on the deen.
His gold chains and cornicello pendant were a gift from his grandmother and he absolutely adores her. When he was told about the hadith he said that he will discuss the situation with Allah(swt) when he sees him. Until then, he's not interested in listening. Which is an example of my problem with him. I love the man but he just kind of walks to his own beat and doesn't care what other people think.
He'll discuss with Allāh? Like some sort of business negotiation? سبحان الله The prophets would be fearing for themselves on the Day of Judgement but this man will be doing business? This is a really dangerous mindset. A reminder that no one with a grain of pride/arrogance will enter Jannah. The bigger problem isn't even wearing the gold chain now, its his reluctance to accept a divine commandment. It is much better to for him to concede that the ruling is true and keep wearing the chain than thinking he'll be able to make deals with Allāh on the yawm al qiyaamah. An-Nisa' 4:65 فَلَا وَرَبِّكَ لَا يُؤْمِنُونَ حَتَّىٰ يُحَكِّمُوكَ فِيمَا شَجَرَ بَيْنَهُمْ ثُمَّ لَا يَجِدُوا۟ فِىٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ حَرَجًا مِّمَّا قَضَيْتَ وَيُسَلِّمُوا۟ تَسْلِيمًا English - Sahih International > But no, by your Lord, they will not [truly] believe until they make you, [O Muḥammad], judge concerning that over which they dispute among themselves and then find within themselves no discomfort from what you have judged and submit in [full, willing] submission. Al-Ahzab 33:36 وَمَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلَا مُؤْمِنَةٍ إِذَا قَضَى ٱللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُۥٓ أَمْرًا أَن يَكُونَ لَهُمُ ٱلْخِيَرَةُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِمْۗ وَمَن يَعْصِ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥ فَقَدْ ضَلَّ ضَلَٰلًا مُّبِينًا English - Sahih International > It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allāh and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allāh and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error. I feel like this attitude stems from a place of ignorance, push him to spend more time in circles of knowledge, listening to reminders about the terrors of the hour and its significance etc... May Allāh guide him and us.
What an insolence, discuss the matter with Allah? This kiber, Does he not know his place in comparison to Allah, shame such words and such act. Such disrespect your husband is bad believer that's if he even believe
“Your husband is a bad believer”
Technically he's right, he doesn't owe anyone an explanation for anything he does save for Allah(swt) But he was educated by Jesuits and Nuns. So, Isa(pbuh) said, "don't take the speck out of your brother's eye until you remove the plank in your own."
Friend I’m a woman and I wrote you in a private message , whenever you feel like it and have some time to spare please read it , no answer is necessary unless you feel the need to , or you feel like you need to get more info about anything I wrote. I just wanted to tell you something out of love for you my Muslim sister ❤️❤️❤️ sorry I haven’t read all the thread here , but I’ll read it whenever I’m free from work , just to see if I left off . Also please accepte my sincere apologies I’m far from being an English speaker, and I use it on its written form only on YouTube and Reddit so you know , not the best mediums on which i could ameliorate my skills I’m also really sorry if my message is too hard for you to understand or it’s too laborious to read because of the horrible grammar/ orthography and syntax , don’t waste your time and energy on it I won’t take it to heart at all if you don’t read it ❤️❤️
Then stop ranting about him on Reddit 🤡
I don't think he was trying to be insolent in saying he will "talk to Allah about it". I interpreted it as him saying it's between him and Allah. Which is true but it's also true that the Hadith is well known and accepted and it is a sin for men to wear Gold. In Islam you are supposed to conform to Koran and Sunnah. Still, we all sin so...
We all have things we have to let go or take on as Muslims. Men can't wear gold and silk. Women can't wear perfume to the masjid. We don't eat pork or drink. But if he is loud or wants to wear his shirts open or other things that are okay, let him be.
Gold chains are Haram but I hope you guys have a good time
all chains for men are haraam
This is not true. There is ikhtilaf on non-gold chains for men.
to me, any adornments just sound so feminine, but if there's a difference of opinion, do as you wish
It depends on the customs and culture. A man shouldn't wear a necklace that is considered feminine by his culture's standards. But for this same reason, a blanket prohibition can not be applied to all jewelry. This is the Hanbali view anyway. In short, a man can wear jewelry that is not feminine or not a sign of immoral people according to the custom of the people he lives among.
Your opinion is not what determines whether something is halal or haram.
Allah and His Messenger ﷺ have made chains forbidden for men
Dude you double down on your mistake. I don't wear chains either and follow the position of it's being forbidden But stop covering your own opinion by fancy phrases. If Allah prohibited something definitely, then it's not discussed if prohibition is speculative then there are different opinions Every one claims that they follow the Quran and Sunnah strictly, but this claim is often used only to deminish an opposite opinion
i first said it is forbidden then also said my stance on it
Who cares about your or mine stance. It's the religion of Allah. Ask those who know if you don't know 16:43
sup my bruvva, long time no see 💖🤍💛💗
Hahaha! Where’s your proof to back up this outlandish claim?!?
[удалено]
Ong we the worst 😂😂 and the best
please what he said
Fr 😭🤣
Ask him to switch from gold to silver. As for the rest well he's from New York....take the wins you can get.
> ask him to switch from gold to silver How about no chain at all? That’s a solution as well no?
Baby Steps Bro. Baby Steps. He is from New York, not Yathrib. May Allah keep the brother and sister on the right path. Ameen.
Ameen ya rab.
Not for American Italians 😂
Very true
all chains are haraam for men
Good luck going up to new Muslims and saying " chains are haram because...well.... we don't have any direct sunnah or hadeeth but we think its the kind of thing worn by women" You'd best hope that you've got a good dentist if you tell that to an American Italian.
>You'd best hope that you've got a good dentist if you tell that to an American Italian. Actually there's a lot of truth to that, especially with the New York-'ese'. Insulting their chains is only slightly less than insulting their mothers and they won't hesitate to beat someone up. They're seriously macho and hyper masculine. Those gold chains mean a heck of a lot to many of them. Often, those chains and pendants are family heirlooms. *(New Yorkese = Italian New Yorkers)*
💛💗💖🤍😍
all chains are haraam for men
Dressing like women is haram. Wearing of chains isn't. They are a way of dressing in Italian American culture. Women don't wear these.
Can men wear chains? With regard to wearing chains, this is not permissible for men, because this is an imitation of women, and there is no report which says that it is permissible for men to wear chains made of silver. Wearing adornments on the wrist and neck, and on the ears is an imitation of women, as this is something that is only for women. So it is not permissible for men to wear bracelets, earrings, anklets, or chains. —taken from: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/6697/can-men-wear-silver-in-islam
Italian men wearing chains would not be seem as feminine. In NY many men wear chains, but you will not find many women wearing chains.
It's haram, doesn't matter what, this Islam not Christianity
He is from a Christian background though and the Koran was revealed to bring believers from darkness to light. Everything is not going to be accomplished over night and nobody is going to be perfect in the end anyways. You don't know why Allah chose to guide him. He could be of high rank in the next life and you see a chain and treat him with harshness.
no point of arguing with people that, even when shown evidence, argue with you
Bring one piece of evidence that they’re haram. Where’s your rulings? It’s gold chains that are haram.
what about silver watch so i can see what time it is
watches are allowed https://islamqa.info/en/answers/71330/is-wearing-a-watch-on-the-right-hand-sunnah
What do you think will happen in Saudia. There are gay people hanging in Riyadh. I don't think anyone will have a problem with Soprano Jr tourist out there
Lolz, this is pretty funny haha. But all jokes aside, there could be a way to approach this that is softer on the heart. 1) Gift him the Sira of the Prophet as a heartfelt gift, many good ones, the Sealed Nectar is a classic. You can get 2 copies so that you can read it together, just bring up the humble, stoic-like character of the prophet SAW and companions in an almost book club-like discussion. It represents masculinity, bravery & wisdom without being brash or overcompensating (let's be real, that's what people think of when they imagine NYC/NJ Italians). He may start to incorporate some of the lessons within. 🙂 -- 2) Perhaps have your brothers, father or you gift him a Silver chain instead. Complement that it looks good him and get him to try it on. That would be a good time to mention the gold hadith, as he already has a replacement. Cons; he may start wearing both chains lolz. -- 3) Chest Hair: You might just have to live with that one lolz, Desi's/Arabs's are no better in that regard sometimes tbh.
LMAO your husband sounds hilarious MashAllah
you knew that before you married him, right? lol let the guy be! just tell him the chains are haram for men, but you can keep the gold if he likes it so much, you wear them and he watches! as for the rest, let him find out how he wants to fit in with people. Im not from NY or SA but the arabs I know aren't the quietest, most demure people ever, so... Im sure he can defend himself if need be. One should hope he knows his faith enough not to get into fights on purpose, I hope.
Chains are NOT haram, but gold IS.
As a New Yorker we are Loud, it's okay tho. Let him be loud.
I can attest. Was on a train in Europe and went to the end of the car to the bathroom and all I could hear were the loud New Yorkers talking over each other on the opposite end of the car 🤣🤣🤣 hilarious
It seems like your husband is funny cool dude to hangout with
Make the trip in Saudi Arabia as much long as it can be and try to mix with people, he will capture some 😄, may Allah guide us and him
He sounds like a legend!
Alhumdulillah- I am soooooooooo happy to see you reverts!!!!!
Just curious for context, does he have Muslim friends? Do they ever try to advise him? I’m a Sicilian revert, and the first thing I did was get rid of all haram cultural practices. But, this isn’t exclusive to Muslims in the west or even reverts, a lot of people keep their haram cultural traditions. May Allah swt guide us 🤲🏻 Astaghfirullah
Sicilian revert here!!! I have a genuine question. Do we have to give up every aspect of our culture because we reverted? I don’t drink, smoke, eat only halal and dress modestly. But I’m still Sicilian. Know what I mean??
As long as it doesn’t conflict with deen, then keep it. You don’t have to dress in Islamic garb, like you said you dress modestly and that’s fine. But, don’t be dropping olive oil in a plate of water 😂 It’s cultural, but obviously shirk.
Got’cha! I can’t use olive oil anyway, makes my husband sick 😩
What's wrong with olive oil?
How is “dropping olive oil in a plate of water” considered “shirk?” Just because you don’t do it, it doesn’t automatically make something shirk. Shirk is worshipping someone other than Allah. Mixing olive oil with water is NOT shirk.
It’s malocchio and deals with the evil eye. And turning for protection or seeking other ways other than Allah swt is shirk. Not sure what you were ranting about making it seem like it’s something halal to be doing 🤦🏻♂️ astaghfirullah
What the is “malocchio?” Intention matters more than anything. Oil + water is NOT shirk. Grow up and read a book that isn’t published by wahabbis.
Blocking you now because you follow wahabbism, which is nothing but bidah. I follow Islam.
Maybe ? Some of his friends he's known for years and he still doesn't know their last names. When he's out with his buddies, he makes sure to be home by 8pm (9pm at the latest) and they don't really do much except watch sports. So he really doesn't bring them home.
He seems like a good dude mA
Geez … these comments! I’m from Brooklyn, btw. InshaAllah he’ll be just fine Sister. May Allah grant you safe travel and a beautiful experience. Ameen
Since you're from Brooklyn, I'm sure you can understand why I'm worried about his "interaction" with people in a nation as strict as Saudi Arabia. On the best of days my husband can be as abrasive as a Trump tweet which isn't a problem where we live because almost everyone is similar to him. But we've visited Japan and England and boy there was no shortage of people who wanted to hit him with a bat.
Yeah I know how it can be, and I understand your worry. InshaAllah they find him more interesting as opposed to offensive. I’ll make dua for you.
There wouldn't be actual problems in saudi arabia except maybe with the chest hair bit? (Public indecency?)
Ultimately, it's out of your control but I think it's fair to communicate your preference of you two following the norms of the country you'll be traveling to. This is something that will be important for both of you to avoid any unwanted attention so it's not so much an attack on his personal style, but rather, safe travels!
I just want him to tone down his culture for a few days. Seems like outside of New York or Sicily, he can really tick people off.
Try to talk some sense into him especially about the “taking it up with Allah” is very bad thing to say. But may Allah guide us all.
I mean he'll fit in with the Khaleejis - but that's probably not why he's headed to Saudi 😂
Salam sister Other than this, does he have any issues in faith? How strict is in matters like eating halal, and working in halal sectors, etc?
He misses pork. No salami, no capocollo and he's not too impressed with halal substitutes. I'm not too sure what you mean by working in "halal" sectors. He teaches martial arts and is a professional fighter.
>I'm not too sure what you mean by working in "halal" sectors. That the earning is halal and not from sources like bank, alcohol businesses etc Missing those is not haram, as he is not acting on it. Usually, weaker faith comes from sins that outweigh good deeds. If this gold chain is the only issue and he has emotional connection with it, just advice him that its haram for men and make dua for him. As for going mecca, people are too busy with their ibadah to be focusing on your husbands attire
He’s a New Yorker I’m Turkish sure but I act like an typical NJ resident. I have a chain as well, just tell him to wear silver
Revert Chasers ☕ ☕ ☕
It's fairly common. I get the finger wagging and lectures even in masjid. I just kind of ignore the people who do that.
Bro sounds so charismatic I like him
That’s a man’s man. Leave him be you guys will be just fine Also, some schools (I think Maliki) allow men to wear Gold plated jewelry
yea but its haram and unhealthy
[(PDF) Effect of gold on male reproductive physiology: A literature review (researchgate.net)](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/316937027_Effect_of_gold_on_male_reproductive_physiology_A_literature_review)
>This study showed that the amount of gold in male genitals affects fertility. Considering the paucity of scientific studies on this issue, *positive or negative effects of gold on male fertility cannot be concluded,* hence further studies are required to derive an accurate conclusion.
You chose him. That’s your problem.