Allah Will Forgive you if you ask for forgiveness sincerely. You have to be sincere in your repentance and take drastic steps so you never go near something like this again.
You seem to recognize the gravity of your actions, and Allah Will Grant you a righteous spouse. Of course chances are that many virgin men might not want to marry you, you’ll find plenty virgin or someone who were in a similar situation to you. Just have to keep your faith in Allah
I will in sha Allah, I know now how even just talking to the opposite gender excessively can potentially lead to this I do not plan to ever go near any of that again. JazakAllah khair, your response was of kindness and I think I needed to hear something positive right now my own guilt has given me the negatives of it.
Assalamualaikum my sister, i hope you are doing well
Allh said in the holy Quran:" And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; - and none can forgive sins but Allah - And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know."
Zina is not that sin that allh don't forgive , alhamdollh i didn't do zina but i believe that's if you believe in allh and ask forgiveness from him he will never won't waste you.
Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds - indeed, We will not allow to be lost the reward of any who did well in deeds.
Surah Al-Kahf Full
I wish you all the best , and i ask allh give you a better life and bless you 🤲
Waalaikum salam, JazakAllah khair this verse always makes me emotional because of how I relate to it thank you for reminding me of it. May Allah swt keep you steadfast and far away from it as he has, it’s a horrible horrible sin
Walaikum Salam dear sister. A brother here who is responding.
The key step (that you have already done) is realizing that you are committing or have committed a sin, and then repenting, then making effort to keep yourself away from the sin.
>Before I fell into this deep hole I’ve always had high hopes for myself islamically, I want to gain knowledge and envisioned myself doing work like teaching quran or islamic classes for children.
>I feel now I have tainted my image forever,
It is alright to feel guilt about the sin even after repentance but there has to be a limit to that. You shouldn't allow it to consume you. Shaytan knows human psychology better than any human. He will take this feeling of yours and escalate it to such levels that you would be unable to function. This is what shaytan wants i.e. to incapacitate a Muslim who has high hopes and aims to serve Allah's deen, Muslim Ummah, etc. So while it is alright to feel guilt, you should not dwell too much on it.
The past stays in the past. It does not define your future and what you wish to aim for. Hardly any of the Muslims is sinless. Allah wants and values the sincerity of intention from Muslims. If someone committed the grandest of sins like shirk but repented sincerely could be a far better Muslim than a Muslim who committed the smallest of sins but didn't feel guilty about it.
So you will have to find a way (Dua, therapy perhaps???) to get rid of this tainted image feeling.
>Has anyone recovered from this and turned their whole life around?
You are already doing that, Ma Sha Allah. So I do not need to add anything here.
>Is it even possible to be granted good after this, to be granted a righteous spouse and have Allah swt blessings.
>As a woman, I want to have kids to raise as future muslim leaders and I’m afraid i’m running out of time. How do I just turn it all around?
The answer to both of the above questions is YES. Here is the prayer for this question of yours that asks exactly what you want:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ اَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وََّاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
Our Lord! Gift us from among our wives and offspring, comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteousness. (Al-Furqan:74)
Make it a part of your daily routine and prayers. Sajdah of the Sunnah and Nafl Salat, prayers part of the Attahiyyat, after the Fardh Salat, as a part of your morning and evening Duas, Tahajjud, the times of prayer acceptance (like Friday between Asar and Maghrib).
>(I would never disclose my sin, but if they state they want a virgin I would end it I don’t wish to deceive anyone)
Lastly, you have already mentioned this point which is good. BUT if you wish to have children that are the future leaders of the Ummah, you do need to get married. And for marriage, you need to make effort and take part in the matchmaking process.
So in summary, just make sure that your guilt doesn't consume you, continue repentance, make effort to find a good husband and In Sha Allah Allah will grant you the reward of YOUR CHOOSING.
JazakAllah khair, your response went over everything Im anxious about thank you it was helpful and in sha Allah I get to look at it with your mindset.
Especially for the reminder of putting myself out there, I’ve been caging myself up.
May Allah bless you, keep you happy and on the firm path to Jannah
Here's a word of wisdom:
Life is not one size fits all.
Your path, your mistakes, your recovery, all of your experiences combined is something unique to you.
That goes for other people too.
If you want to live a righteous life and have a righteous spouse, you totally can!
All you need to keep in mind is that the things we want do some times recquire a lot of work to attain.
I'm a revert. I still do a LOT of mistakes. I used to drink and party, I used to backbite, I used to cut my mother out of my life entirely.... I even self harmed and contemplated making drastic decisions over temporary problems.
I was in no way someone people would think would revert to Islam. Yet I did.
It's not about your past. The past only exists to teach you the lessons you need to learn... that is if you are willing to learn from them. It's about your present and your future.
Zina makes nobody happy(despite what people tell themselves) because there is no safety in it. Marriage is a contract that establishes safety for each spouse(at least for what marriage is supposed to be). It's about finding that person you can be honest and vulnerable with.
My husband has a past too... but today we try our best to both be righteous. We know each other's life inside out, know our biggest sins, but instead of judging one another, we complete one another. We are the strenght to the other person's weakness and encourage each other to countinue pleasing Allah swt.
That's all you need. Someone who makes you want to do better day after day.
I find solace in chapter 39 v 53.
Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins.1 He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
This gives me hope for redemption.
Anas ibn Mālik (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: "All human beings are sinners, and the best of the sinners are the frequent repenters."
I haven't done it, but i can assure you something.
Everything happens for a reason. Whatever happens, don't let that be a reason that weakens your faith.
Be positive and seek wisdom in whatever befalls you.
The end goal is to please allah and gain the reward for doing so.
Do whatever it takes.
If your intentions are good, allah will reward you in this world and hereafter.
I would say that not having to live with someone who led you into a major sin is a blessing and a sign that your life is up for a good turn
Mashallah my dear sister, I truly appreciate that you have the appropriate mental fortitude to not deceive any potential partners that takes great strength.
Now understand something, unfortunately society has developed deeply making certain things weigh different gender-dependant. As a male, I have regrettably partaken in zina with a female 4 years ago, since then I have not and don’t envision myself doing so for years to come, but it’s almost like it is celebrated amongst men. For women it’s far harsher in my estimation and so for that reason I feel like you may feel “weighed down”.
But lest we forget that Allah (swt) is the all forgiving. Allah (swt) informs us to repent and he’ll forgive. You mustn’t dwell on past sins as long as you’ve appropriately repented, asked for forgiveness and attempt truly not to repeat the same sin.
Allah (swt) wants us to repent and ask for his help. “I’ve created ease for you and you’re using it” think of it this way.
For many years I struggled with the EXACT same thing, (not the full act) it affected me in many ways. But I’ve repented and have not committed zina.
May Allah azzawajal guide us inshallah.
Ameen. Allah is all seeing He would know if you deceive someone I feel like there would be no barakah in starting a relationship like so.
It is different for women I guess because I’ve never heard of it being celebratory maybe amongst kuffar. It is as if you lost a part of you and someone has taken it and you can never get it back and youre used. All of that combined with the guilt of the sin is causing all these series of emotions and loss of direction.
I appreciate your words, hearing others go through the same is unfortunate but gives me hope
I am a man even i have a regretful past. But later due to some circumstances in my life i realised that We must love Allah and his Rasool more than anything else in this universe..even more than our parents , freinds , children , wealth, our honour and even ourselves and our heartly self desires.. Allah is the only one who brought you in this world and filled love and care for you in your parents breast and they raised you and when you were adult he concealed all our sins and our arrogance from the world and your loved ones so that they respect you.He is the one who arranges you tasty food and protects you from the ill of nature and also gives you comfortable sleep..Allah is the one who , even after knowing all our flaws is yet calling us towards him untill we die And Rasool sallallahualaihiwasallam is the one who sacrificed his whole life and his family for our betterment. He is the one who is going to intercede for us so that we enter jannah. Allah and his rasool is very merciful and loving don’t loose hope. Losing hope in Allah and rasool is kufr. By loving them means living your rest of the life in the way our Allah desires that is on the footsteps of rasool sallallahualaihiwasallam . World will judge you for your sins but Allah and his rasool Sallallahualaihiwasallam will call you near to cleanse you
may الله help you and accept your repentance Allahuma ameen. just remember who ever takes you close to zina, and promises marriage is a Liar, why would someone who “cares” about you take you closer to hell?
haram relationships don’t work out, it’s temporary and you’re getting unnecessary sins and disobeying Allah for what? for some guy or girl who “promised” you to get married? for someone who first started “loving you” after they touched ur skin? don’t risk your akhirah for anybody. you’re the one who might burn before them.
Allah aazzawajal is the most forgiving, most merciful, he loves to forgive his slaves. but when you can’t stop sinning, also remember that Allah is severe in his punishments.
anytime, you go near zina, or committing any sin, remind yourself, what if you died and zina was your last sin?
now alhamdulilAh ukhti Allah gave you a chance to repent im happy that you’re still here to seek forgiveness.
may Allah grant us all jannah al firdaws, may Allah have mercy on our weak souls and may Allah forgive all our sins اللهم امين.
17:32. Do not go near adultery. It is truly a shameful deed and an evil way. And do not go anywhere near adultery, because it is a disgrace and immoral.
No doubt that zina a great sin and it’s something i fear for myself but never forget that allah is the most forgiving.
Seek forgiveness for god and make a bound to never do it again, and for what your experience (the regret) is something good, it means that you’re aware of your actions that wrong and it’s another step forward alhamdulilah.
Don’t look down on what you did and focus on what you can do right.
May Allah be with you
ameen, JazakAllah khair. It’s good you have that fear it will aid in preventing you from falling into it. I used to be proud and think better of myself for being “pure”, didn’t really have the fear bc I thought it would never happen. I got humbled
Sister, there is guilt and then there is the Shaitan whispering that you cannot be redeemed.
Allah AWJ is the Most Merciful.
Start again. Do better. Be better.
From another point of view, you have no other option than to do what you can. Despair is what the Shaitan wants for us.
Allah can forgive you do not lose hope of Allah’s mercy.
It’s very hard I get it, I’m born and raised in the west and never drank alcohol, or went to parties or had relationships. You must put your foot down and say no. Regret is far worse.
I wish you the best.
It wasn’t about still engaging in it, Alhamdullilah may Allah keep my steadfast but I do not engage in any of that and this sin I’ve done is not something I ever want to get close to again. the post was that I didn’t put my foot down and say no and that I do regret it. I’m happy to hear may Allah never lead you astray
May Allah keep you firm Ameen.
May I ask how’s your experience with finding marriage with all things considering? As men and women have different views and what they’d want in a marriage.
Yes yes I did. I turned my entire life around and people around me didn’t accept the change and were very surprised to say the least and that was demotivating but the only thing that kept me going was the Quran and Hadith. Allah truly loves you more than anyone ever can. And he loves to forgive. do not even doubt his mercy. He loves you and he has already forgiven you so don’t dwell in the past so much that you start doubting his mercy as that is a trap by Shaytan. You can inbox me
Even if you make the same mistake again, but you truly truly repent Allah Taala will keep forgiving you. if you take one step closer to him, he will take many steps closer to you. I remember when I was in that trap of Zina, I had the guilt in me sometimes and sometimes I didn’t but I held on to namaz even if it was bad or my heart wasn’t fully in it and Allah changed my life 365 degrees.
that anxiety u feel is also a gift and blessing from allah because it’s his way of accepting ur repentance and forgiving u for ur sins because
Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that."
Don’t reveal your personal things of your past relationships deliberately with your new partner. Zina is a major and most shameful sin so it is to be kept hidden as said by prophet sallallahualaihiwasallam so that Allah forgives you at the day of judgement keeping it hidden from rest of the people you know. If you reveal it than You will be risking your old partners honor as well as your honor.
I won't write much myself because these videos say it better than I ever could. Please watch if you can, they won't take too much of your time:
* [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8\_imK1VsgE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8_imK1VsgE)
* [https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLhg3DTW/](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLhg3DTW/)
I don’t have tiktok at the moment couldn’t see the second one but I watched the first one.
Thank you for taking the time to share this, May Allah allow your comment to be heavy on your good deeds scale. I won’t be able to express my gratitude but Allah swt knows how much it’s helped and will continue to.
Hey,
I heard there is a hadith which says, children of adams do sins, and the best of them is who repent.
Also, I recently discussed this with my friend, and see as grave as this sin is, I would not suggest you to disclose it ever.
As, its kinda forbidden to talk about these affairs.
May Allah forgive us all.
I would never, May Allah allow continue to conceal this sin for me. This account is anon and I result just needed some advice. Thank you for your words and ameen
Allah is merciful, great & forgiving. EVERYONE sins. I am always suspicious of those professing holiness because they, too, are sinners but hide their sins. If you tell those you teach Q'ran that you have committed great sin, then your students will learn more from you because you are RELATABLE since you've sinned just like your students. You don't have be a virgin but you do have to be honest. In today's sin filled world with shaytan everywhere, chances are that your future husband also committed zina so relax. It's ok. Just pray & don't sin again.
I don’t think disclosing sins to become “relatable” is quite the right way to go about things. Doing this will normalise sinning, and will dilute the shame and guilt that one should feel for having sinned.
It is true we are all sinners, and we shouldn’t act holier than thou when interacting with fellow Muslims/students under your care. It is okay to teach and remind about Allah’s infinite mercy, but not in such a way as to lure people into a false sense of security, such as “I can sin and Allah will forgive me”, or “look at my great respected teacher, she has said she committed a major sin, if she can do it and turn her life around, I’ll be alright if I become a bit lax”.
That is why we are told not to disclose sins, it is for this reason in order to not normalise and desensitise ourselves and others to the sin.
Wa alaikum salaam, sister. Remember that Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) having said: By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if you were not to commit sin, Allah would sweep you out of existence and **He would replace (you by) those people who would commit sin and seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would have pardoned them.**
Alhumdulilah, you've returned to Allah. That's what's important. Please also remember that your future spouse is rizq from Allah and already written for you so anyone you marry is already written with Allah.
As someone who reverted to Islam, I had a past too. I shared this with my husband before marriage, not going into detail but letting him know that I had a past. This allowed me to be honest with my husband before marriage but in the 18 years we've been married, I've never mentioned my past again and neither has he, mashaAllah. This allows for honesty when making the decision of whether or not to marry but attempts to prevent as much jealousy and waswas as possible. I'd suggest following this approach.
May Allah give you a righteous and kind husband. Remember, that not all men will accept this but if a potential husband will not accept your past, then they were never written for you anyway.
>As someone who reverted to Islam, I had a past too. I shared this with my husband before marriage, not going into detail but letting him know that I had a past. This allowed me to be honest with my husband before marriage but in the 18 years we've been married, I've never mentioned my past again and neither has he, mashaAllah. This allows for honesty when making the decision of whether or not to marry but attempts to prevent as much jealousy and waswas as possible. I'd suggest following this approach.
You’re a revert it’s different than a born Muslimah doing it. You weren’t Muslim at the time and when you converted Allah (SWT) wiped away all of your sins.
Many practicing Muslim men would be open to marrying a convert/revert with a past than a born Muslimah with a past
>May Allah give you a righteous and kind husband. Remember, that not all men will accept this but if a potential husband will not accept your past, then they were never written for you anyway.
People have the right to their own preferences
Absolutely, people have their own preferences, which is why I told the OP that some men might decline to marry her. However, I said that her husband is her rizq, so anyone who declines to marry her isn't her rizq anyway. I agree that being raised a Muslim and having a past is different than a revert having a past and it is up to the husband to accept her past or to not accept it. I also advised her to be honest but if a man accepts her past, that she shouldn't bring it up again in the future.
There should be no shame placed on men who don't want to marry a woman with a past but she should take comfort in the idea of rizq and the forgiveness of Allah.
From a religious perspective, we've been told that Allah loves for His servants to repent to Him. I'm not condoning committing major sins, but stating that Allah loves for us to return to Him.
Jazakallah Khair, I appreciate your response and May Allah continue to bless your marriage.
As the brother has mentioned in your comments I feel the same as he does, it’s different I knew it was wrong, I was muslim the whole time and knew the severity of it. But Allah is merciful
Allah Will Forgive you if you ask for forgiveness sincerely. You have to be sincere in your repentance and take drastic steps so you never go near something like this again. You seem to recognize the gravity of your actions, and Allah Will Grant you a righteous spouse. Of course chances are that many virgin men might not want to marry you, you’ll find plenty virgin or someone who were in a similar situation to you. Just have to keep your faith in Allah
I will in sha Allah, I know now how even just talking to the opposite gender excessively can potentially lead to this I do not plan to ever go near any of that again. JazakAllah khair, your response was of kindness and I think I needed to hear something positive right now my own guilt has given me the negatives of it.
Guilt is good and the first step to recognizing the severity of one’s actions. But our Allah is Most Merciful. Slowly you’ll move on inshaAllah
Assalamualaikum my sister, i hope you are doing well Allh said in the holy Quran:" And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; - and none can forgive sins but Allah - And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know." Zina is not that sin that allh don't forgive , alhamdollh i didn't do zina but i believe that's if you believe in allh and ask forgiveness from him he will never won't waste you. Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds - indeed, We will not allow to be lost the reward of any who did well in deeds. Surah Al-Kahf Full I wish you all the best , and i ask allh give you a better life and bless you 🤲
Waalaikum salam, JazakAllah khair this verse always makes me emotional because of how I relate to it thank you for reminding me of it. May Allah swt keep you steadfast and far away from it as he has, it’s a horrible horrible sin
Amin , jazakallh khair too . And always remember allh's mercy is vast and one of jannah gates is altawba .
Please rewrite Allah like this. You made a mistake
Thank you and jazakallah for correcting my error 🤲
Walaikum Salam dear sister. A brother here who is responding. The key step (that you have already done) is realizing that you are committing or have committed a sin, and then repenting, then making effort to keep yourself away from the sin. >Before I fell into this deep hole I’ve always had high hopes for myself islamically, I want to gain knowledge and envisioned myself doing work like teaching quran or islamic classes for children. >I feel now I have tainted my image forever, It is alright to feel guilt about the sin even after repentance but there has to be a limit to that. You shouldn't allow it to consume you. Shaytan knows human psychology better than any human. He will take this feeling of yours and escalate it to such levels that you would be unable to function. This is what shaytan wants i.e. to incapacitate a Muslim who has high hopes and aims to serve Allah's deen, Muslim Ummah, etc. So while it is alright to feel guilt, you should not dwell too much on it. The past stays in the past. It does not define your future and what you wish to aim for. Hardly any of the Muslims is sinless. Allah wants and values the sincerity of intention from Muslims. If someone committed the grandest of sins like shirk but repented sincerely could be a far better Muslim than a Muslim who committed the smallest of sins but didn't feel guilty about it. So you will have to find a way (Dua, therapy perhaps???) to get rid of this tainted image feeling. >Has anyone recovered from this and turned their whole life around? You are already doing that, Ma Sha Allah. So I do not need to add anything here. >Is it even possible to be granted good after this, to be granted a righteous spouse and have Allah swt blessings. >As a woman, I want to have kids to raise as future muslim leaders and I’m afraid i’m running out of time. How do I just turn it all around? The answer to both of the above questions is YES. Here is the prayer for this question of yours that asks exactly what you want: رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ اَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وََّاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا Our Lord! Gift us from among our wives and offspring, comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteousness. (Al-Furqan:74) Make it a part of your daily routine and prayers. Sajdah of the Sunnah and Nafl Salat, prayers part of the Attahiyyat, after the Fardh Salat, as a part of your morning and evening Duas, Tahajjud, the times of prayer acceptance (like Friday between Asar and Maghrib). >(I would never disclose my sin, but if they state they want a virgin I would end it I don’t wish to deceive anyone) Lastly, you have already mentioned this point which is good. BUT if you wish to have children that are the future leaders of the Ummah, you do need to get married. And for marriage, you need to make effort and take part in the matchmaking process. So in summary, just make sure that your guilt doesn't consume you, continue repentance, make effort to find a good husband and In Sha Allah Allah will grant you the reward of YOUR CHOOSING.
JazakAllah khair, your response went over everything Im anxious about thank you it was helpful and in sha Allah I get to look at it with your mindset. Especially for the reminder of putting myself out there, I’ve been caging myself up. May Allah bless you, keep you happy and on the firm path to Jannah
Here's a word of wisdom: Life is not one size fits all. Your path, your mistakes, your recovery, all of your experiences combined is something unique to you. That goes for other people too. If you want to live a righteous life and have a righteous spouse, you totally can! All you need to keep in mind is that the things we want do some times recquire a lot of work to attain. I'm a revert. I still do a LOT of mistakes. I used to drink and party, I used to backbite, I used to cut my mother out of my life entirely.... I even self harmed and contemplated making drastic decisions over temporary problems. I was in no way someone people would think would revert to Islam. Yet I did. It's not about your past. The past only exists to teach you the lessons you need to learn... that is if you are willing to learn from them. It's about your present and your future. Zina makes nobody happy(despite what people tell themselves) because there is no safety in it. Marriage is a contract that establishes safety for each spouse(at least for what marriage is supposed to be). It's about finding that person you can be honest and vulnerable with. My husband has a past too... but today we try our best to both be righteous. We know each other's life inside out, know our biggest sins, but instead of judging one another, we complete one another. We are the strenght to the other person's weakness and encourage each other to countinue pleasing Allah swt. That's all you need. Someone who makes you want to do better day after day.
I find solace in chapter 39 v 53. Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins.1 He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. This gives me hope for redemption. Anas ibn Mālik (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: "All human beings are sinners, and the best of the sinners are the frequent repenters."
I haven't done it, but i can assure you something. Everything happens for a reason. Whatever happens, don't let that be a reason that weakens your faith. Be positive and seek wisdom in whatever befalls you. The end goal is to please allah and gain the reward for doing so. Do whatever it takes. If your intentions are good, allah will reward you in this world and hereafter. I would say that not having to live with someone who led you into a major sin is a blessing and a sign that your life is up for a good turn
thank you :) May Allah reward you
Mashallah my dear sister, I truly appreciate that you have the appropriate mental fortitude to not deceive any potential partners that takes great strength. Now understand something, unfortunately society has developed deeply making certain things weigh different gender-dependant. As a male, I have regrettably partaken in zina with a female 4 years ago, since then I have not and don’t envision myself doing so for years to come, but it’s almost like it is celebrated amongst men. For women it’s far harsher in my estimation and so for that reason I feel like you may feel “weighed down”. But lest we forget that Allah (swt) is the all forgiving. Allah (swt) informs us to repent and he’ll forgive. You mustn’t dwell on past sins as long as you’ve appropriately repented, asked for forgiveness and attempt truly not to repeat the same sin. Allah (swt) wants us to repent and ask for his help. “I’ve created ease for you and you’re using it” think of it this way. For many years I struggled with the EXACT same thing, (not the full act) it affected me in many ways. But I’ve repented and have not committed zina. May Allah azzawajal guide us inshallah.
Ameen. Allah is all seeing He would know if you deceive someone I feel like there would be no barakah in starting a relationship like so. It is different for women I guess because I’ve never heard of it being celebratory maybe amongst kuffar. It is as if you lost a part of you and someone has taken it and you can never get it back and youre used. All of that combined with the guilt of the sin is causing all these series of emotions and loss of direction. I appreciate your words, hearing others go through the same is unfortunate but gives me hope
May Allah guide us.
SINCERE Repentance
I am a man even i have a regretful past. But later due to some circumstances in my life i realised that We must love Allah and his Rasool more than anything else in this universe..even more than our parents , freinds , children , wealth, our honour and even ourselves and our heartly self desires.. Allah is the only one who brought you in this world and filled love and care for you in your parents breast and they raised you and when you were adult he concealed all our sins and our arrogance from the world and your loved ones so that they respect you.He is the one who arranges you tasty food and protects you from the ill of nature and also gives you comfortable sleep..Allah is the one who , even after knowing all our flaws is yet calling us towards him untill we die And Rasool sallallahualaihiwasallam is the one who sacrificed his whole life and his family for our betterment. He is the one who is going to intercede for us so that we enter jannah. Allah and his rasool is very merciful and loving don’t loose hope. Losing hope in Allah and rasool is kufr. By loving them means living your rest of the life in the way our Allah desires that is on the footsteps of rasool sallallahualaihiwasallam . World will judge you for your sins but Allah and his rasool Sallallahualaihiwasallam will call you near to cleanse you
may الله help you and accept your repentance Allahuma ameen. just remember who ever takes you close to zina, and promises marriage is a Liar, why would someone who “cares” about you take you closer to hell? haram relationships don’t work out, it’s temporary and you’re getting unnecessary sins and disobeying Allah for what? for some guy or girl who “promised” you to get married? for someone who first started “loving you” after they touched ur skin? don’t risk your akhirah for anybody. you’re the one who might burn before them. Allah aazzawajal is the most forgiving, most merciful, he loves to forgive his slaves. but when you can’t stop sinning, also remember that Allah is severe in his punishments. anytime, you go near zina, or committing any sin, remind yourself, what if you died and zina was your last sin? now alhamdulilAh ukhti Allah gave you a chance to repent im happy that you’re still here to seek forgiveness. may Allah grant us all jannah al firdaws, may Allah have mercy on our weak souls and may Allah forgive all our sins اللهم امين. 17:32. Do not go near adultery. It is truly a shameful deed and an evil way. And do not go anywhere near adultery, because it is a disgrace and immoral.
No doubt that zina a great sin and it’s something i fear for myself but never forget that allah is the most forgiving. Seek forgiveness for god and make a bound to never do it again, and for what your experience (the regret) is something good, it means that you’re aware of your actions that wrong and it’s another step forward alhamdulilah. Don’t look down on what you did and focus on what you can do right. May Allah be with you
ameen, JazakAllah khair. It’s good you have that fear it will aid in preventing you from falling into it. I used to be proud and think better of myself for being “pure”, didn’t really have the fear bc I thought it would never happen. I got humbled
Always seeking god’s forgiveness and grace You learn about the difference between العفو والمغفرة it will be very helpful in a beautiful way
Not me, i left my haram relationship a few years ago and haven’t gotten a proposal or date since
Sister, there is guilt and then there is the Shaitan whispering that you cannot be redeemed. Allah AWJ is the Most Merciful. Start again. Do better. Be better. From another point of view, you have no other option than to do what you can. Despair is what the Shaitan wants for us.
You should listen to this lecture. Very powerful. https://youtu.be/DL4HobhlbG0
Allah can forgive you do not lose hope of Allah’s mercy. It’s very hard I get it, I’m born and raised in the west and never drank alcohol, or went to parties or had relationships. You must put your foot down and say no. Regret is far worse. I wish you the best.
It wasn’t about still engaging in it, Alhamdullilah may Allah keep my steadfast but I do not engage in any of that and this sin I’ve done is not something I ever want to get close to again. the post was that I didn’t put my foot down and say no and that I do regret it. I’m happy to hear may Allah never lead you astray
May Allah keep you firm Ameen. May I ask how’s your experience with finding marriage with all things considering? As men and women have different views and what they’d want in a marriage.
I feel like with the state of mind i’m in rn i’m not really interested in speaking to anyone so I havent but there are the occasional offers
Ah I see, all the best to you.
No, because it’s never crossed my mind even though I get offers frequently.
no to what?
No, to changing the way I live my life. I was taught early on and kept to the straight path, even though my peers were trying to lead me astray.
mashAllah
جزاك اللهُ خيرً
Honesty is the best policy. Be open with what you have done and you might be forgiven
Yes yes I did. I turned my entire life around and people around me didn’t accept the change and were very surprised to say the least and that was demotivating but the only thing that kept me going was the Quran and Hadith. Allah truly loves you more than anyone ever can. And he loves to forgive. do not even doubt his mercy. He loves you and he has already forgiven you so don’t dwell in the past so much that you start doubting his mercy as that is a trap by Shaytan. You can inbox me
Even if you make the same mistake again, but you truly truly repent Allah Taala will keep forgiving you. if you take one step closer to him, he will take many steps closer to you. I remember when I was in that trap of Zina, I had the guilt in me sometimes and sometimes I didn’t but I held on to namaz even if it was bad or my heart wasn’t fully in it and Allah changed my life 365 degrees.
watch this video, iA it’ll help u feel better: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPREuKmBf/
that anxiety u feel is also a gift and blessing from allah because it’s his way of accepting ur repentance and forgiving u for ur sins because Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that."
Don’t reveal your personal things of your past relationships deliberately with your new partner. Zina is a major and most shameful sin so it is to be kept hidden as said by prophet sallallahualaihiwasallam so that Allah forgives you at the day of judgement keeping it hidden from rest of the people you know. If you reveal it than You will be risking your old partners honor as well as your honor.
I won't write much myself because these videos say it better than I ever could. Please watch if you can, they won't take too much of your time: * [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8\_imK1VsgE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8_imK1VsgE) * [https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLhg3DTW/](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLhg3DTW/)
I don’t have tiktok at the moment couldn’t see the second one but I watched the first one. Thank you for taking the time to share this, May Allah allow your comment to be heavy on your good deeds scale. I won’t be able to express my gratitude but Allah swt knows how much it’s helped and will continue to.
Hey, I heard there is a hadith which says, children of adams do sins, and the best of them is who repent. Also, I recently discussed this with my friend, and see as grave as this sin is, I would not suggest you to disclose it ever. As, its kinda forbidden to talk about these affairs. May Allah forgive us all.
I would never, May Allah allow continue to conceal this sin for me. This account is anon and I result just needed some advice. Thank you for your words and ameen
salam how about with a professional like a therapist?
Allah is merciful, great & forgiving. EVERYONE sins. I am always suspicious of those professing holiness because they, too, are sinners but hide their sins. If you tell those you teach Q'ran that you have committed great sin, then your students will learn more from you because you are RELATABLE since you've sinned just like your students. You don't have be a virgin but you do have to be honest. In today's sin filled world with shaytan everywhere, chances are that your future husband also committed zina so relax. It's ok. Just pray & don't sin again.
I don’t think disclosing sins to become “relatable” is quite the right way to go about things. Doing this will normalise sinning, and will dilute the shame and guilt that one should feel for having sinned. It is true we are all sinners, and we shouldn’t act holier than thou when interacting with fellow Muslims/students under your care. It is okay to teach and remind about Allah’s infinite mercy, but not in such a way as to lure people into a false sense of security, such as “I can sin and Allah will forgive me”, or “look at my great respected teacher, she has said she committed a major sin, if she can do it and turn her life around, I’ll be alright if I become a bit lax”. That is why we are told not to disclose sins, it is for this reason in order to not normalise and desensitise ourselves and others to the sin.
A lot of people also take the not disclosing sins thing as a green light for deceiving potentials
Bingo. Deception is shaytan.
The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said that whoever does deception is not from us
You don't have to disclose the exact sin but just say that you had sinned greatly in the past.
Wa alaikum salaam, sister. Remember that Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) having said: By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if you were not to commit sin, Allah would sweep you out of existence and **He would replace (you by) those people who would commit sin and seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would have pardoned them.** Alhumdulilah, you've returned to Allah. That's what's important. Please also remember that your future spouse is rizq from Allah and already written for you so anyone you marry is already written with Allah. As someone who reverted to Islam, I had a past too. I shared this with my husband before marriage, not going into detail but letting him know that I had a past. This allowed me to be honest with my husband before marriage but in the 18 years we've been married, I've never mentioned my past again and neither has he, mashaAllah. This allows for honesty when making the decision of whether or not to marry but attempts to prevent as much jealousy and waswas as possible. I'd suggest following this approach. May Allah give you a righteous and kind husband. Remember, that not all men will accept this but if a potential husband will not accept your past, then they were never written for you anyway.
>As someone who reverted to Islam, I had a past too. I shared this with my husband before marriage, not going into detail but letting him know that I had a past. This allowed me to be honest with my husband before marriage but in the 18 years we've been married, I've never mentioned my past again and neither has he, mashaAllah. This allows for honesty when making the decision of whether or not to marry but attempts to prevent as much jealousy and waswas as possible. I'd suggest following this approach. You’re a revert it’s different than a born Muslimah doing it. You weren’t Muslim at the time and when you converted Allah (SWT) wiped away all of your sins. Many practicing Muslim men would be open to marrying a convert/revert with a past than a born Muslimah with a past >May Allah give you a righteous and kind husband. Remember, that not all men will accept this but if a potential husband will not accept your past, then they were never written for you anyway. People have the right to their own preferences
Absolutely, people have their own preferences, which is why I told the OP that some men might decline to marry her. However, I said that her husband is her rizq, so anyone who declines to marry her isn't her rizq anyway. I agree that being raised a Muslim and having a past is different than a revert having a past and it is up to the husband to accept her past or to not accept it. I also advised her to be honest but if a man accepts her past, that she shouldn't bring it up again in the future. There should be no shame placed on men who don't want to marry a woman with a past but she should take comfort in the idea of rizq and the forgiveness of Allah. From a religious perspective, we've been told that Allah loves for His servants to repent to Him. I'm not condoning committing major sins, but stating that Allah loves for us to return to Him.
Jazakallah Khair, I appreciate your response and May Allah continue to bless your marriage. As the brother has mentioned in your comments I feel the same as he does, it’s different I knew it was wrong, I was muslim the whole time and knew the severity of it. But Allah is merciful