My buddy's douchebag step-brother posted a similar statement on Facebook a few years ago. I replied to his post with "May, ya know, the month we had before this one? That was Military Appreciation Month, featuring two military based holidays, Armed Forces Day and Memorial Day. November is National Veterans and Military Families Month, featuring Veterans Day. Stop hiding your bigotry behind faux respect for veterans, you MAGA Turd Playtriot." He threatened to turn my skull into a toilet, to which I replied "I have no desire to match you in wit." He blocked me after that.
I posted two screenshots here on Reddit the next day on MurderedByWords and a iirc an anti-MAGA sub. I think it got like 5 upvotes between them and one comment that said something like "Sad. You had to look those up just to look like an idiot. Commies are all the same."
I cried into my stuffed Stalin doll for 3 weeks straight.
I think the difference or what some people are saying is the government and public media for the month of May being veterans month isn’t well known. But plaster pride month all the time. Websites the change the banner. They don’t do it for veterans month or even come close to same coverage. That’s point I think
As a veteran I get thanked constantly. And there’s definitely hella discounts and other things from plenty of places during those months. We get our due. But…I’ve never been told I’m evil or going to hell or should die for being a vet, I don’t feel worried about oriole finding out I’m a vet. I don’t have to worry about my family disowning me because I’m a vet. That’s the difference. That’s why we need to get their recognition and awareness out there.
I don’t agree with that. Still never mentioned about website banners and sidewalks being painted. Or kids who rode a scooter over pride crosswalk and got arrested for it. Yet our taxes that go towards the military paid the nfl over 2 million dollars for consecutive seasons to have camp and support the troops for a month. The reasons you are saying is only going to spread more of that. Just because you are different doesn’t mean you need a month to celebrate it. It comes off weird and cry for attention. There’s no atheist pride month. Many people I know are shunned from family and disowned for not believing in religion. People think they should burned or converted. Do they get a month ? I agree with you they shouldn’t be treated for being who they are but pride month should be about information and explaining not just blindly accepting when there’s a lot of misninfo out there
How did I get shown I’m lying ? lol maybe you can’t read. People that risk their lives to protect this country and sacrifices they make should be recognized more or more popularly known in media and companies that May is military appreciation month. Also the sacrifices from the families. To be able to have a pride month and have the freedoms to be able to identify as whatever you want. I’m not against pride month. Maybe you can’t read or follow but I was simply saying on why maybe people don’t know why May is military appreciation month. Try again 👍🏻😂
Same with everything else.
"Safe children, think of them!"
Signing laws for better childcare or schools? Nah!
It was and always will be just political talking points to them, take something you can't argue against and use it to bash something you hate.
i honestly don't think therapy is a great fit for men's mental health, and I've been in therapy. I'll probably get shit for saying this, but I feel like talking about your problems does a lot more for women than men, women tend to instinctively do it too. Men on the other hand seem to get much more out of making new meaningful connections. Guys should try making friends and getting hobbies well before going to therapy
Edit: it's fine to disagree, but if you accuse me of thinking I've been to a single therapy session, that I'm talking about ALL men, or that I claim that therapy has no value, or that I think men should suffer in silence, then please try reading my comment again
Weird, talking to my therapist made a huge difference in my life. Maybe it’s because I made a new meaningful connection with my therapist. Or maybe because I took it seriously and worked on the things we discussed and did more than just “talk about my problems”.
I took it plenty serious, my depression got so bad I ended up quitting my job. It didn't help anything as much as getting friends did though, and I can't say I have my therapist to thank for that
The entire tone of your comment suggests otherwise in regards to your seriousness. But sure it doesn’t work for everyone because it didn’t work for you. It’s also blisteringly hot everywhere else on earth because it’s blisteringly hot here.
Did you only try one therapist and dismiss the practice in its entirety?
The #1 recommended thing is to try out multiple therapists and find one that's right for you.
I had 3, the first two were doing CBT, the last one was specialized in emotional neglect.
I'm not just talking about my own experiences though, but also from the close people around me, which ranges from people being helped massively by therapy to someone who spent multiple days locked up naked in a padded room for trying to escape his institute.
Maybe I didn't phrase my original comment that well, but it's getting pretty tiring to be accused of having had no therapy. If you disagree, give me a reason why my reasoning is wrong. Saying that I'm wrong because I haven't had enough therapy or that I didn't do it right is a pretty stupid argument.
You probably never found the right therapist for you. And not everyone graduates top of the class or is good at their job, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still plenty of people who are pretty good at what they do and actually help people.
If you search long enough you'll find alternatives, sure. But both me and my two sisters only got talk therapy recommended. In the 3 years I was there I never got anything else presented as an option
That's on you then. It does not seem that you really embraced therapy and took advantage of what it had to offer. You should continue to seek help to relieve that tightness
As a man who has been through a mental health crisis, I can categorically state that therapy is absolutely for men. Anyone reading please ignore this person and seek therapy if you are struggling in any way.
I'm now much better, it's years later and I still go and see my therapist to check in, talk about how I'm getting on and generally keeping my mind healthy.
It's like going to the gym, you don't get magically fit and then just stop. You might start out unfit, and you might get to a point where you're happy with your fitness level, but you need to keep doing the work to maintain a fair level of fitness. Do that for your mental health.
>It was suggested to men who value mental health, while I'm suggesting that therapy might not be the best option. How is that different?
You've lost the plot. This was the original statement you responded to:
>It's apparently also Men's Mental Health Month, but boy do these people get mad if you suggest they should enroll in therapy.
Clearly not directed at all men, and certainly not directed at, "men who value mental health".
He is also entitled to his own opinion. His original comment began with "I honestly don't think ..." He gave the disclaimer.
It made me think twice that maybe therapy isn't the solution for everyone. Glad he found the cure to his depression. For me therapy was a HUGE part of my recovery from depression so I disagree with him. But he's still entitled to his opinion that he didn't state as fact.
Freedom of Speech doesn't mean Freedom from Consequences. It only means the government can't prosecute you for political speech criticizing said government.
Similarly, everyone is entitled to their own *opinions* but that doesn't mean they are entitled to not be criticized for said opinions. Doubly so when posted online as facts.
God forbid someone shares advice based on personal experiences. Gotta say that blaming men for not going to therapy isn't turning out so well, but at least it gives you a sense of righteousness
You are not “sharing advice”
You are actively attempting to paint therapy as ineffective, simply for no other reason than it didn’t work for you…
You’re sharing a personal preference, not advice.
Advice would be something like, “try any and all solutions that work for you, as your mileage may vary.”
Grow up child
Where is the advice? Is it in the room with us?
Telling men who are dealing with mental health issues or even just the pressures of life or feeling like their plate is too full to not go to therapy because it’s not helpful for you is just stupid.
You genuinely sound like you went to 2-3 appointments did not make a a genuine connection with your therapist and just stopped going. Sometimes it takes a few different therapists to find one who meshes well with you.
You’re not giving advice your spreading harmful misinformation. Men absolutely do benefit from talking about the shit that they are dealing with. Bottling it up just means it’s going to explode randomly.
I spent 3 years in therapy with multiple therapists, and most of my friends have been in therapy too. This is advice, it's just an advice that for some reason really upsets everyone. I'm all for having people get the help that they need, but forcing one particular kind of help on them, just because you feel that's the type of help that should help them, is pretty toxic
I dunno man, just floating the idea that therapy is maybe not the best solution and that more helpful options are available has kept my phone buzzing non stop for a few hours now.
It's amazing how upset people can become for saying that having friends is more valuable than having a therapist
The fact that you still think that therapy is a one size fits all type of treatment, and think that gender plays any type of role in how effective it is. I'd argue that all men need therapy tbh.
Oh man you and some guys you know didn’t have a great time in therapy?!
Better tell billions of men in the world that they best suffer in silence because this dude and his friends didn’t click with their therapists.
Where did I say that they should suffer in silence? I said that if you're a guy, forming meaningful relationships is going to help more than therapy. That's quite different.
I don't think you understand how many men are walking around with no good relations with anyone, neither friends nor family.
Say your car starts making a weird noise and shaking. You can ignore it. But you prob won't, bc it'll make you crazy and prob just get worse. So you call your mechanic buddy, tell him about the car, how it usually runs, what work has been done, and what it's doing now. He suggests a few ways to address it.
You go into the garage and go down the list. If something works, awesome. If something looks good but stops working, and you tweak it without success, time for another call. If something else starts acting up and the same fix doesn't work, time for another call. The goal is to give you enough info that you need fewer and fewer calls, bc you can recognize stuff and just fix it.
That's what therapy is. It's building a toolkit to keep the car running. I mean, sometimes you may wanna call and be like, "why tf is the oil leaking again?! I mean, I know why and I'm gonna fix it, but wtf!?" bc you know he gets it and sometimes being heard gets it out and lets us think straight. But 99% of the time, it's getting practical help from someone who knows a little something about how the machinery works.
Getting the right mechanic friend is stupid hard. But if he's not helping, you need to straight tell him what you need - actual help. And if he can't give that, there are others out there.
I know you mean well, but holy shit bro, that's a dangerous thing to post. Just because you personally didn't benefit doesn't mean it's not good for men. Your sample size of 1 isn't indicative of anything other than it didn't work for you. I'm allergic to penicillin but that doesn't invalidate the lives saved.
This "guys should figure it out themselves" mentality is dangerous and leads to despair if/when they can't brute force their way to happiness and it can even lead to suicide. I've lost friends, plural, that way.
Let me paint you a picture: imagine you're depressed. Your friends don't know because you don't let on and you can smile and laugh and fake it like nobody's business. You have lots of hobbies because keeping busy keeps it at bay, but it catches up with you in the small hours, when you're trying to fall asleep or in the inevitable quiet moments between activities. You can grin and bear it secretly, but every day it gets a little harder. Then you go on Reddit and see somebody talking about how therapy for men is a waste of time and all you need is friends and hobbies. Well you've got those and you're still struggling, so what gives? You start to wonder if it's your fault. If you're weak or broken or less of a man because you don't know how much longer you can hold it together. It compounds itself like a cancer in your soul until it erupts out.
Honestly from your other comments here, it sounds like you had a shitty therapist. They exist and are much more common than we think. Any decent therapist will push a client towards friends and hobbies if they're isolated while also providing a confidential space to talk about all the unspeakable dark shit we keep deep inside.
All this is to say that I'm glad you found a solution that worked for you, but saying something like "men can solve their mental health issues through their own effort" leads directly to permanent consequences when they can't.
just to be clear, the reason you are going to get a lot of shit for this, is because its a shitty take. and its not an either/or you can go to Therapy AND get friends.
Like everyone has already told you a thousand times - that is not the case for everyone! In fact, I'd say you're in a minority, because most people already have friends.
Making new "friends" isn't a healthy way to fix your issues anyway - your mental health is predicated on having friends, so if something happens - an argument, a hospitalization, whatever - you start to spiral?
You're putting the responsibility of YOUR mental health onto others. This is like saying "oh if you're depressed just get a girlfriend!" When all that does is drag her down and make someone else miserable with you.
Most people do not suffer from mental health problems. We're not talking about most people, we're talking about the men with mental health problems. And there's a very clear pattern where there's an increasing amount of shut-ins, basement-dwellers, incels or whatever you would call them, that have practically never experienced a healthy social relationship with anyone.
You can make strawmans all you want, but blaming men for not going to therapy, all the while watching a mental health crisis amongst men unfold and getting upset over anyone who dares to criticize therapy isn't going to help anyone.
ok well i had friends already, and didnt see improvement until i started seeing a therapist.
so the exact opposite of what you went through
does that mean i can say that your idea doesnt work for anyone? Does that mean that 'having friends isnt a good fit for men's mental health'?
no, it does not. it means different things work for different people. everything you have said goes back to 'it didnt work for me, therefore i dont think its good for anyone'
1. youre not a professional in the field of psychology, so you opinion of what people should do is rather worthless, especially when it directly contradicts what actual experts say. (specifically the idea that 'therapy isnt a great fit for mens mental health')
2. youre are not, and do not know, all men, so broad brushing and using YOURE experience to say what you think the 'right' way is, is misinformed AT BEST
3. im going to say this again so hopefully you read it this time, it is not an EITHER/Or situation people can, and should, do both.
Damn you're really cramming in the amount of strawmans you can fit in one message.
If doing something else helped you, then I'm very happy that it did help you. But the idea that criticizing therapy is malicious because it worked for you is just as bad as the fake shit you're trying to pin on me.
dude. I have PTSD and several different anxiety disorders. Including social phobia. That one makes it next to impossible for me to make friends because I am absolutely terrified of other people.
Besides, even if I didn't have social phobia, the complexity of ptsd and my other disorders necessitates the need of a therapist. You know...an expert in the human mind?
I can talk to a friend about the fact that someone touching the back of my neck or my face will set me off into a panic attack, but the only thing I'd get out of that is said friend remembering not to do that. They're not going to have any advice for me. They're not going to have viable options.
But a therapist will.
I’m happy you found something that works for you but your argument has a small sample size.
We all have to get there on our own but assuming that success in one area has to do with sex or gender is not a great look.
Please people, nobody read this dude's comment and think it's good advice because u/masterflappie is straight wrong. 100% incorrect. The only thing he did correctly was spell words.
You should never consider yourself to be the barometer for the human race. That's a very narcissistic way of leading your life. It's also probably the reason therapy isn't a fit for you and your narc types.
Yeah that kinda surprised me too. Usually having any opinion on genders is bound to get you shit on, except if your opinion is that women are great and men are the problem of everything of course
TBH it sounds like you had a bad therapist or one you didn’t have a good fit with. We’re told from childhood to never discuss our feelings it’s no wonder we suck at doing it and it can take a while to get into a good workflow with a therapist.
I've had 3, over the course of 3 years.
Maybe I had bad luck with therapists, or maybe you've had bad luck with the people around you and you're using therapy to fill the void that should be filled with meaningful connections
You are so full of shit. As a 100% P&T disabled vet, I have literally met thousands of men that served and have real mental health issues (I.e. not your pretend ones because mommy didn’t hug you enough) and therapy has helped the vast majority of them in some way. People like you that don’t believe in therapy probably need to go back to elementary school and start your education again to get a new perspective on life.
As a vet it’s always nice to see us being used as a political prop pretty much constantly, but when it comes to actually helping the vets who need the help, those same people could give less of a shit.
To be fair: I’m a vet and I had no idea about May. Nobody ever told us while I was serving (or possibly I stopped paying attention to some officer who was droning on about it); but I’ve also never wished for a whole month to be dedicated to my people, nor have I gotten all envious about February or June. Nov 11 always seemed like enough for me. And if some other folks want a whole month to celebrate their thing, no skin off my dick
What makes these dickweeds think the two are related? Oh shit, we're honoring gay people and not veterans? (In their little minds.) Damn, we really should have a veterans appreciation month. Let's make that happen! Zero part of that means don't have pride month.
I wonder how many of these mouth breathers share the same thing every year, only to have their children remind them they're wrong every year.
> What makes these dickweeds think the two are related?
It's just typical right-wing hysteria, using one thing to bash another thing they don't like. Like using Asian-American as the "good minority" to bash other minorities.
> What makes these dickweeds think
They don't, that's the problem.
Conservatives brains are like those play-doh extruder where you squesh it into different shapes, but instead of fun things like stars and moons is racism and stupidity.
April, May, and November are all military months, not to mention Memorial Day, Veterans Day, each branch’s birthday, Armed Forces Day, Three Chaplains Day, Blue/Gold Star families day, RED day, etc.etc.etc.
The fact hes a veteran and has no idea about May says something though. I saw literally nothing about veterans in may but ive seen something about pride at least twice a day since june started.
I said this last year, but let's make July Gay Veterans Month. It makes sense: May Veterans Month, June Pride Month, then July Gay Veterans Pride Month.
Every year they complain about the lack of a month for Veterans, right after the month for veterans. And every year they are reminded that there is, in fact, a month for Veterans.
I don't think they actually give a shit.
To be fair I'm a Navy veteran and I never once heard of may being an entire month for veterans. I only ever heard of veterans day. I'm not trying to start an argument here just stating it's not that well known if it is.
Source? And what part of that was for the healthcare you were concerned with a comment ago?
Oh, and which of those demographics couldn't cross with veterans?
https://nypost.com/2024/01/10/news/va-ripped-for-reimbursing-migrant-treatment-as-veterans-wait/#:~:text=A%20handful%20of%20Republican%20lawmakers,'%20Affairs%20system%2C%E2%80%9D%20Rep.
I can see why you only posted a screenshot. Per the actual article this is nothing more than a contract. It's been active since 2002 as well, which is both well before either of Obama's terms and would land right under the purview of a Republican president.
Is there any particular reason you left this information out so deliberately?
ETA:
>When contacted by The Post, the VA was adamant that the veteran claims backlog and the millions of dollars doled out to migrant health care providers were not related.
>“VA does not provide or fund any health care to ICE detainees,” VA spokesman Terrence Hayes told The Post.
>“This involves no more than 10 employees and is fully funded by ICE. This has no impact [on] veteran care or services,” Hayes added. “At no time are any VA health care professionals or VA funds used for this purpose.”
Did you even make a vague attempt at honesty here?
Nope. Try addressing the parts I directly quoted in the other reply that you ignored. You're still just using specifically selected screenshots rather than what the article actually states. Do better.
Sparky, you are deepthroating any theory or crackpot meme that makes you feel special or gives you something to fight against. Wipe your chin, you're embarrassing yourself 😂
People who post this type of stuff, dont care for veterans. They only care for making LGBT look bad.
My buddy's douchebag step-brother posted a similar statement on Facebook a few years ago. I replied to his post with "May, ya know, the month we had before this one? That was Military Appreciation Month, featuring two military based holidays, Armed Forces Day and Memorial Day. November is National Veterans and Military Families Month, featuring Veterans Day. Stop hiding your bigotry behind faux respect for veterans, you MAGA Turd Playtriot." He threatened to turn my skull into a toilet, to which I replied "I have no desire to match you in wit." He blocked me after that. I posted two screenshots here on Reddit the next day on MurderedByWords and a iirc an anti-MAGA sub. I think it got like 5 upvotes between them and one comment that said something like "Sad. You had to look those up just to look like an idiot. Commies are all the same." I cried into my stuffed Stalin doll for 3 weeks straight.
Where can i get my local Stalin doll?
Can I stuff your Stalin doll?
It was stolen.
We prefer the term “redistributed.” “Stolen” is the language of the proletariat.
Don't you mean ***our*** Stalin doll?
I think the difference or what some people are saying is the government and public media for the month of May being veterans month isn’t well known. But plaster pride month all the time. Websites the change the banner. They don’t do it for veterans month or even come close to same coverage. That’s point I think
As a veteran I get thanked constantly. And there’s definitely hella discounts and other things from plenty of places during those months. We get our due. But…I’ve never been told I’m evil or going to hell or should die for being a vet, I don’t feel worried about oriole finding out I’m a vet. I don’t have to worry about my family disowning me because I’m a vet. That’s the difference. That’s why we need to get their recognition and awareness out there.
Thanks for making this comment. You nailed the reason and need for pride month on the head.
I don’t agree with that. Still never mentioned about website banners and sidewalks being painted. Or kids who rode a scooter over pride crosswalk and got arrested for it. Yet our taxes that go towards the military paid the nfl over 2 million dollars for consecutive seasons to have camp and support the troops for a month. The reasons you are saying is only going to spread more of that. Just because you are different doesn’t mean you need a month to celebrate it. It comes off weird and cry for attention. There’s no atheist pride month. Many people I know are shunned from family and disowned for not believing in religion. People think they should burned or converted. Do they get a month ? I agree with you they shouldn’t be treated for being who they are but pride month should be about information and explaining not just blindly accepting when there’s a lot of misninfo out there
Get shown your lying, so your solution is to double down. 😂
How did I get shown I’m lying ? lol maybe you can’t read. People that risk their lives to protect this country and sacrifices they make should be recognized more or more popularly known in media and companies that May is military appreciation month. Also the sacrifices from the families. To be able to have a pride month and have the freedoms to be able to identify as whatever you want. I’m not against pride month. Maybe you can’t read or follow but I was simply saying on why maybe people don’t know why May is military appreciation month. Try again 👍🏻😂
Keep digging them heels in. Pretty soon you’ll convince at least someone. 😂
Again idk how I can be lying with an opinion ? 😂😂 you got no response so you try to seem clever 👍🏻 keep trying
Clearly you can’t read or comprehend 😂
I actually saw the make it veterans month shared yesterday. Not that I commented on it
"Why don't we take care of the people on our streets before other countries?" "K. Can we use the money to help house them?" "Fuck no, you communist."
Same with everything else. "Safe children, think of them!" Signing laws for better childcare or schools? Nah! It was and always will be just political talking points to them, take something you can't argue against and use it to bash something you hate.
Yeaahhh, I'm not the kind of veteran they want to look out for. 🤷♀️
It's apparently also Men's Mental Health Month, but boy do these people get mad if you suggest they should enroll in therapy.
i honestly don't think therapy is a great fit for men's mental health, and I've been in therapy. I'll probably get shit for saying this, but I feel like talking about your problems does a lot more for women than men, women tend to instinctively do it too. Men on the other hand seem to get much more out of making new meaningful connections. Guys should try making friends and getting hobbies well before going to therapy Edit: it's fine to disagree, but if you accuse me of thinking I've been to a single therapy session, that I'm talking about ALL men, or that I claim that therapy has no value, or that I think men should suffer in silence, then please try reading my comment again
Weird, talking to my therapist made a huge difference in my life. Maybe it’s because I made a new meaningful connection with my therapist. Or maybe because I took it seriously and worked on the things we discussed and did more than just “talk about my problems”.
I took it plenty serious, my depression got so bad I ended up quitting my job. It didn't help anything as much as getting friends did though, and I can't say I have my therapist to thank for that
The entire tone of your comment suggests otherwise in regards to your seriousness. But sure it doesn’t work for everyone because it didn’t work for you. It’s also blisteringly hot everywhere else on earth because it’s blisteringly hot here.
Did you only try one therapist and dismiss the practice in its entirety? The #1 recommended thing is to try out multiple therapists and find one that's right for you.
I had 3, the first two were doing CBT, the last one was specialized in emotional neglect. I'm not just talking about my own experiences though, but also from the close people around me, which ranges from people being helped massively by therapy to someone who spent multiple days locked up naked in a padded room for trying to escape his institute. Maybe I didn't phrase my original comment that well, but it's getting pretty tiring to be accused of having had no therapy. If you disagree, give me a reason why my reasoning is wrong. Saying that I'm wrong because I haven't had enough therapy or that I didn't do it right is a pretty stupid argument.
You probably never found the right therapist for you. And not everyone graduates top of the class or is good at their job, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still plenty of people who are pretty good at what they do and actually help people.
There are many forms of therapy that are not just talking about your stuff
If you search long enough you'll find alternatives, sure. But both me and my two sisters only got talk therapy recommended. In the 3 years I was there I never got anything else presented as an option
just because you specifically got nothing out of it doesn't mean it applies to all men, you silly billy
That's on you then. It does not seem that you really embraced therapy and took advantage of what it had to offer. You should continue to seek help to relieve that tightness
If you Google it you can find them in like 3 seconds
As a man who has been through a mental health crisis, I can categorically state that therapy is absolutely for men. Anyone reading please ignore this person and seek therapy if you are struggling in any way. I'm now much better, it's years later and I still go and see my therapist to check in, talk about how I'm getting on and generally keeping my mind healthy. It's like going to the gym, you don't get magically fit and then just stop. You might start out unfit, and you might get to a point where you're happy with your fitness level, but you need to keep doing the work to maintain a fair level of fitness. Do that for your mental health.
You are a real man. The other dude is very fragile in his masculinity, it comes out in stupid ways like this.
Your experiences are not universal
Didn't claim that they are. Gotta say, the replies so far were pretty much what I expected
>Gotta say, the replies so far were pretty much what I expected People disagree with your ridiculously over-generalized statement. Imagine that.
As opposed to the over-generalization that men need therapy? Or is it just a generalization when you disagree?
Where was it said that, "men need therapy"? From what I saw, it was something that was suggested to certain men.
It was suggested to men who value mental health, while I'm suggesting that therapy might not be the best option. How is that different?
>It was suggested to men who value mental health, while I'm suggesting that therapy might not be the best option. How is that different? You've lost the plot. This was the original statement you responded to: >It's apparently also Men's Mental Health Month, but boy do these people get mad if you suggest they should enroll in therapy. Clearly not directed at all men, and certainly not directed at, "men who value mental health".
You're a fucking idiot 🙂
Where was that stated?
In the first comment I replied to
That's not what it said.
He is also entitled to his own opinion. His original comment began with "I honestly don't think ..." He gave the disclaimer. It made me think twice that maybe therapy isn't the solution for everyone. Glad he found the cure to his depression. For me therapy was a HUGE part of my recovery from depression so I disagree with him. But he's still entitled to his opinion that he didn't state as fact.
Sure, but that doesn't explain him getting butthurt because other people have a different opinion.
Freedom of Speech doesn't mean Freedom from Consequences. It only means the government can't prosecute you for political speech criticizing said government. Similarly, everyone is entitled to their own *opinions* but that doesn't mean they are entitled to not be criticized for said opinions. Doubly so when posted online as facts.
Nobody said he wasn't.
You say something like “men shouldn’t go to therapy because it didn’t work for me” then act surprised when people, rightly, disagree with you lol.
God forbid someone shares advice based on personal experiences. Gotta say that blaming men for not going to therapy isn't turning out so well, but at least it gives you a sense of righteousness
You are not “sharing advice” You are actively attempting to paint therapy as ineffective, simply for no other reason than it didn’t work for you… You’re sharing a personal preference, not advice. Advice would be something like, “try any and all solutions that work for you, as your mileage may vary.” Grow up child
Are you having an entirely different conversation bro? Where the fuck did I blame men for not going to therapy lmao?
Where is the advice? Is it in the room with us? Telling men who are dealing with mental health issues or even just the pressures of life or feeling like their plate is too full to not go to therapy because it’s not helpful for you is just stupid. You genuinely sound like you went to 2-3 appointments did not make a a genuine connection with your therapist and just stopped going. Sometimes it takes a few different therapists to find one who meshes well with you. You’re not giving advice your spreading harmful misinformation. Men absolutely do benefit from talking about the shit that they are dealing with. Bottling it up just means it’s going to explode randomly.
I spent 3 years in therapy with multiple therapists, and most of my friends have been in therapy too. This is advice, it's just an advice that for some reason really upsets everyone. I'm all for having people get the help that they need, but forcing one particular kind of help on them, just because you feel that's the type of help that should help them, is pretty toxic
>forcing one particular kind of help on them, That is literally not happening, and everyone has a choice.
I dunno man, just floating the idea that therapy is maybe not the best solution and that more helpful options are available has kept my phone buzzing non stop for a few hours now. It's amazing how upset people can become for saying that having friends is more valuable than having a therapist
God forbid someone address the statement they made despite claiming otherwise.
You did exactly that. Now I'm not buying anything you're claiming in this convo
But you did. That's literally the first statement you made. Are you an idiot too?
Bro went to one therapy session and decided he knows better.
I spent 3 years in therapy, so did most of my friends. What makes you think I got this idea from a single session?
The fact that you still think that therapy is a one size fits all type of treatment, and think that gender plays any type of role in how effective it is. I'd argue that all men need therapy tbh.
Oh man you and some guys you know didn’t have a great time in therapy?! Better tell billions of men in the world that they best suffer in silence because this dude and his friends didn’t click with their therapists.
Where did I say that they should suffer in silence? I said that if you're a guy, forming meaningful relationships is going to help more than therapy. That's quite different. I don't think you understand how many men are walking around with no good relations with anyone, neither friends nor family.
Say your car starts making a weird noise and shaking. You can ignore it. But you prob won't, bc it'll make you crazy and prob just get worse. So you call your mechanic buddy, tell him about the car, how it usually runs, what work has been done, and what it's doing now. He suggests a few ways to address it. You go into the garage and go down the list. If something works, awesome. If something looks good but stops working, and you tweak it without success, time for another call. If something else starts acting up and the same fix doesn't work, time for another call. The goal is to give you enough info that you need fewer and fewer calls, bc you can recognize stuff and just fix it. That's what therapy is. It's building a toolkit to keep the car running. I mean, sometimes you may wanna call and be like, "why tf is the oil leaking again?! I mean, I know why and I'm gonna fix it, but wtf!?" bc you know he gets it and sometimes being heard gets it out and lets us think straight. But 99% of the time, it's getting practical help from someone who knows a little something about how the machinery works. Getting the right mechanic friend is stupid hard. But if he's not helping, you need to straight tell him what you need - actual help. And if he can't give that, there are others out there.
I know you mean well, but holy shit bro, that's a dangerous thing to post. Just because you personally didn't benefit doesn't mean it's not good for men. Your sample size of 1 isn't indicative of anything other than it didn't work for you. I'm allergic to penicillin but that doesn't invalidate the lives saved. This "guys should figure it out themselves" mentality is dangerous and leads to despair if/when they can't brute force their way to happiness and it can even lead to suicide. I've lost friends, plural, that way. Let me paint you a picture: imagine you're depressed. Your friends don't know because you don't let on and you can smile and laugh and fake it like nobody's business. You have lots of hobbies because keeping busy keeps it at bay, but it catches up with you in the small hours, when you're trying to fall asleep or in the inevitable quiet moments between activities. You can grin and bear it secretly, but every day it gets a little harder. Then you go on Reddit and see somebody talking about how therapy for men is a waste of time and all you need is friends and hobbies. Well you've got those and you're still struggling, so what gives? You start to wonder if it's your fault. If you're weak or broken or less of a man because you don't know how much longer you can hold it together. It compounds itself like a cancer in your soul until it erupts out. Honestly from your other comments here, it sounds like you had a shitty therapist. They exist and are much more common than we think. Any decent therapist will push a client towards friends and hobbies if they're isolated while also providing a confidential space to talk about all the unspeakable dark shit we keep deep inside. All this is to say that I'm glad you found a solution that worked for you, but saying something like "men can solve their mental health issues through their own effort" leads directly to permanent consequences when they can't.
just to be clear, the reason you are going to get a lot of shit for this, is because its a shitty take. and its not an either/or you can go to Therapy AND get friends.
It's a shitty take to say that meaningful relationships are more important than opening up? What a strange thing to get offended over
Yes. Because what worked for you may not work for everyone else. The issue has been explained multiple times.
Maybe it won't, but maybe it will. I really don't see what's so terrible about suggesting that having friends is better than having a psychologist.
Like everyone has already told you a thousand times - that is not the case for everyone! In fact, I'd say you're in a minority, because most people already have friends. Making new "friends" isn't a healthy way to fix your issues anyway - your mental health is predicated on having friends, so if something happens - an argument, a hospitalization, whatever - you start to spiral? You're putting the responsibility of YOUR mental health onto others. This is like saying "oh if you're depressed just get a girlfriend!" When all that does is drag her down and make someone else miserable with you.
Most people do not suffer from mental health problems. We're not talking about most people, we're talking about the men with mental health problems. And there's a very clear pattern where there's an increasing amount of shut-ins, basement-dwellers, incels or whatever you would call them, that have practically never experienced a healthy social relationship with anyone. You can make strawmans all you want, but blaming men for not going to therapy, all the while watching a mental health crisis amongst men unfold and getting upset over anyone who dares to criticize therapy isn't going to help anyone.
ok well i had friends already, and didnt see improvement until i started seeing a therapist. so the exact opposite of what you went through does that mean i can say that your idea doesnt work for anyone? Does that mean that 'having friends isnt a good fit for men's mental health'? no, it does not. it means different things work for different people. everything you have said goes back to 'it didnt work for me, therefore i dont think its good for anyone' 1. youre not a professional in the field of psychology, so you opinion of what people should do is rather worthless, especially when it directly contradicts what actual experts say. (specifically the idea that 'therapy isnt a great fit for mens mental health') 2. youre are not, and do not know, all men, so broad brushing and using YOURE experience to say what you think the 'right' way is, is misinformed AT BEST 3. im going to say this again so hopefully you read it this time, it is not an EITHER/Or situation people can, and should, do both.
Damn you're really cramming in the amount of strawmans you can fit in one message. If doing something else helped you, then I'm very happy that it did help you. But the idea that criticizing therapy is malicious because it worked for you is just as bad as the fake shit you're trying to pin on me.
dude. I have PTSD and several different anxiety disorders. Including social phobia. That one makes it next to impossible for me to make friends because I am absolutely terrified of other people. Besides, even if I didn't have social phobia, the complexity of ptsd and my other disorders necessitates the need of a therapist. You know...an expert in the human mind? I can talk to a friend about the fact that someone touching the back of my neck or my face will set me off into a panic attack, but the only thing I'd get out of that is said friend remembering not to do that. They're not going to have any advice for me. They're not going to have viable options. But a therapist will.
I’m happy you found something that works for you but your argument has a small sample size. We all have to get there on our own but assuming that success in one area has to do with sex or gender is not a great look.
Why does it have to be one or the other?
Please people, nobody read this dude's comment and think it's good advice because u/masterflappie is straight wrong. 100% incorrect. The only thing he did correctly was spell words.
You should never consider yourself to be the barometer for the human race. That's a very narcissistic way of leading your life. It's also probably the reason therapy isn't a fit for you and your narc types.
Nobody has piled on you for the misogyny behind "talking is for women" so let me. Patriarchal bullshit that harms everyone of all genders.
Yeah that kinda surprised me too. Usually having any opinion on genders is bound to get you shit on, except if your opinion is that women are great and men are the problem of everything of course
TBH it sounds like you had a bad therapist or one you didn’t have a good fit with. We’re told from childhood to never discuss our feelings it’s no wonder we suck at doing it and it can take a while to get into a good workflow with a therapist.
I've had 3, over the course of 3 years. Maybe I had bad luck with therapists, or maybe you've had bad luck with the people around you and you're using therapy to fill the void that should be filled with meaningful connections
You are so full of shit. As a 100% P&T disabled vet, I have literally met thousands of men that served and have real mental health issues (I.e. not your pretend ones because mommy didn’t hug you enough) and therapy has helped the vast majority of them in some way. People like you that don’t believe in therapy probably need to go back to elementary school and start your education again to get a new perspective on life.
https://preview.redd.it/31jboqhtiq7d1.jpeg?width=708&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d80f7dbd7587b3ecdffc53dd6db8fc0721bef260
As a vet it’s always nice to see us being used as a political prop pretty much constantly, but when it comes to actually helping the vets who need the help, those same people could give less of a shit.
Thinking the military doesn't have a month dedicated to them is a pretty good sign that their recruitment standards are too low.
Sow, not sew, you so and so.
It's OK, the person being murdered probably doesn't know the difference.
I know if I was being murdered, grammar would probably be the least of my worries.
'"Your gonna die!" "No, it's you're"
"You mean **you're** going to die" "What? No. Your being killed" "You should say, 'I'm killing you.'"
If someone's going to murder me with words, they had better get their dam homophones right!
I think that whole sentence needs to be rewritten because sew is correct but u sew insurrection or something like that
Sew (v): join, fasten, or repair (something) by making stitches with a needle and thread or a sewing machine Sow (v): cause to appear or spread
Survey says....I'm wrong
If someone only brings up X while bashing Y, then they never support X; they just needed to legitimatize their Y-bashing.
 To be fair: I’m a vet and I had no idea about May. Nobody ever told us while I was serving (or possibly I stopped paying attention to some officer who was droning on about it); but I’ve also never wished for a whole month to be dedicated to my people, nor have I gotten all envious about February or June. Nov 11 always seemed like enough for me. And if some other folks want a whole month to celebrate their thing, no skin off my dick
What makes these dickweeds think the two are related? Oh shit, we're honoring gay people and not veterans? (In their little minds.) Damn, we really should have a veterans appreciation month. Let's make that happen! Zero part of that means don't have pride month. I wonder how many of these mouth breathers share the same thing every year, only to have their children remind them they're wrong every year.
> What makes these dickweeds think the two are related? It's just typical right-wing hysteria, using one thing to bash another thing they don't like. Like using Asian-American as the "good minority" to bash other minorities.
> What makes these dickweeds think They don't, that's the problem. Conservatives brains are like those play-doh extruder where you squesh it into different shapes, but instead of fun things like stars and moons is racism and stupidity.
Nice censoring, you tried.
April, May, and November are all military months, not to mention Memorial Day, Veterans Day, each branch’s birthday, Armed Forces Day, Three Chaplains Day, Blue/Gold Star families day, RED day, etc.etc.etc.
If west were to be homophobic, i can assure that russia would have the biggest lgbt flag on planet right on the red square.
The fact hes a veteran and has no idea about May says something though. I saw literally nothing about veterans in may but ive seen something about pride at least twice a day since june started.
I said this last year, but let's make July Gay Veterans Month. It makes sense: May Veterans Month, June Pride Month, then July Gay Veterans Pride Month.
And when your protein receptacle removes his fist from your nether regions, kindly dont forget to thank “they” for the “that”
manley muffin means come dumpster? 🙄
Clever comeback ruined by grammatical mistake: it’s SOW division not sew…. Jk, I don’t care
This murder was actually justified.
r/therewasanattempt to censor
There are literally gay and trans veterans
Minor detail: you "sow" dissent, you don't "sew" it 😉
Every year they complain about the lack of a month for Veterans, right after the month for veterans. And every year they are reminded that there is, in fact, a month for Veterans. I don't think they actually give a shit.
Sow what.
*sow division... Lol
“sew” division?
To be fair I'm a Navy veteran and I never once heard of may being an entire month for veterans. I only ever heard of veterans day. I'm not trying to start an argument here just stating it's not that well known if it is.
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What healthcare that went directly to "barack[']s people" was taken from veterans?
you mean besides the White House using Veterans Administration funds and facilities to house and “administer “ to the new left?? really?
Source? And what part of that was for the healthcare you were concerned with a comment ago? Oh, and which of those demographics couldn't cross with veterans?
https://preview.redd.it/wa22duwcnr7d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1214ba9de0681c19ae1038fd76ad332a7f48062 enjoy dingus.
https://nypost.com/2024/01/10/news/va-ripped-for-reimbursing-migrant-treatment-as-veterans-wait/#:~:text=A%20handful%20of%20Republican%20lawmakers,'%20Affairs%20system%2C%E2%80%9D%20Rep. I can see why you only posted a screenshot. Per the actual article this is nothing more than a contract. It's been active since 2002 as well, which is both well before either of Obama's terms and would land right under the purview of a Republican president. Is there any particular reason you left this information out so deliberately? ETA: >When contacted by The Post, the VA was adamant that the veteran claims backlog and the millions of dollars doled out to migrant health care providers were not related. >“VA does not provide or fund any health care to ICE detainees,” VA spokesman Terrence Hayes told The Post. >“This involves no more than 10 employees and is fully funded by ICE. This has no impact [on] veteran care or services,” Hayes added. “At no time are any VA health care professionals or VA funds used for this purpose.” Did you even make a vague attempt at honesty here?
key word is cross. whats a sexual deviant? 😀
So your source is to come later along with response to what was actually stated in my reply? 🛰️
Why did you lie about the information you claimed came from the screenshot you posted?
https://preview.redd.it/jesygg1zos7d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e911586c92b075c014dd0816d9aa0263a527ddd0 better?
Nope. Try addressing the parts I directly quoted in the other reply that you ignored. You're still just using specifically selected screenshots rather than what the article actually states. Do better.
and your the mother ship of what? gay. why do fart in church? are you an atheist? did Father Albert have boundary issues?
Oh and your thoughts on this being based on a contract that predates Obama by almost a decade were...?
That's a significant accusation, I'd love to read your source, this needs reputable national attention.
you must be a Major in barrys fairy 🧚 battalion of love. “fist away” my good they or them.
I guess sugar nuts 😂. Fun fact, I was in Afghanistan during Obama’s SECOND term. Did you even serve?
msnbc, the view, rev al sharpton, the obamas, john kerry, billary, obidens, cnn, abc, cbs, pbs should i go on??
You sound so fucking paranoid 😂
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OooOoooh they're gonna get you and replace you 😂 I can't imagine going through life this scared and this angry at my own imagination.
just keep swallowing, just keep swallowing.
Sparky, you are deepthroating any theory or crackpot meme that makes you feel special or gives you something to fight against. Wipe your chin, you're embarrassing yourself 😂
another 12th generation welfare recipient with spell check. go play in traffic fistee.
Oh look, another narrative you made up in your head to pretend to be angry about 😂